Today I want to talk about change.

Change is a constant yet it is so hard to accept at times..

Covid brings about lots of changes this is why there is no way around this topic anymore 

Also

When we want to make changes in our life we are usually met with internal resistance, excuses and outside pressure. This is one of the episodes about change for you . to make the transition to a new you nice and smooth :)

be kind with yourself

love Aurora

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Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter become the strongest most authentic version of yourself.

Let’s dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 

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Unknown: 00:00:08

Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience, I'm

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very happy to be spending some time with you today. The

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COVID-19 confinement is not too hard on you, I know, the

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struggle is real. A lot of people are suffering from

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loneliness, anxiety. Uncertainty is really tearing people apart,

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because they don't know how long this is going to take. And yeah,

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it's very, very tough times that we can use to be more resilient

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in the future. And just work on ourselves and reflect and see

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what we can do differently. Once everything is more easy, let's

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just say easy, because it's not going to go back to how it was,

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there's going to be a new normal, and that's totally okay.

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And you can use this time now to be functioning well, in the new

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normal, we all don't know how it's gonna look like. But the

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stronger the connection you have with yourself, the better you

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know, who you are, what you need, the stress you can take.

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And the stress you can take the things you want to allow in your

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life or the things you want to discard, like not have a new

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life anymore, you can make those decisions with this podcast

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here. I want to help people to be at peace with their past, and

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maybe even teach a radical acceptance. Because if you want

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to go out there and be a functioning member of society,

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you need to know what you have to forgive yourself what you

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finally have to let go in order to focus on the present and the

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future. I talked about undivided, unconditional

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attention presence the other day. And that is in my mind, the

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number one tool you need to to connect with people, but also to

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connect with yourself. So in the meditation sia that I post, you

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can put your phone aside and just listen to my voice guiding

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you through that meditation, and helping you to spend some

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quality time with yourself. And today I want to talk about why I

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believe it is so so hard to change habits that don't serve

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us anymore. It is habits or behaviors that annoy us that

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don't lead us anywhere that I want to address today. So let's

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start with habits. And I think habits and behaviors just go

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very, very closely. But hand in hand, let's say habits are

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things that you could see, from an outsider's perspective. It is

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things that you do, be it smoking, be it consuming drugs,

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be it like little tics, OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder,

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people that want to control all the time, or more behaviors. But

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let's start with the habits. Let's go into smoking and maybe

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binge eating, emotional eating. The thing you have to know

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there, if it's about you, or if it's about another person. It is

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a very deep rooted need that makes us do those things. And

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that's why when we decide to not do those things anymore, just

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from a mental level. It is very, very hard to do. Of course you

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can muscle through and you can force yourself to give up that

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habit. But a more sustainable way to approach this would be

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to go back in time and really find out what the need is that

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those habits are fulfilling. So when it comes to food, I gave

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you an example a couple episodes ago, your relationship to food

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is highly influenced by your family and the way you grew up.

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And the relationship you have now is also influenced by how

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you view your body. A lot of people who binge eat feel shame

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and don't like their body at all. And that shame that

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sadness, that depressive heavy feeling, makes them eat food,

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because it gives them a sense of happiness and joy. Temporarily,

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of course, it's a cycle because they feel good while they eat.

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And then afterwards, you feel shame and guilt, and it starts

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all over again. When it comes to emotional eating, it's pretty

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similar to you experience an emotion that you don't want to

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experience, be it loneliness, or anxiety. And in the past, as a

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child, your parents or your caregivers sooth you with food,

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then nowadays, of course, too, you will help yourself out with

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food, and it will give you a good feeling temporarily. And if

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you know that it is that deep loneliness that makes you engage

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in those happiness, then you can try and fill that void or fill

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that, like exchange that habit, if he would take it away from

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someone, there's a void, and some people rather keep that

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habit that behavior in their life instead of being in that

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void. So what I like to say there is that you have to find

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something to substitute the behavior that you want to

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change. And for a lot of people, it is sports, and then they

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exaggerate with sports and get addictive that way. I always

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like to guide people into the creative direction, like start a

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new hobby, create something that gives other people joy and

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support them. Because a sense of belonging and supporting others

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can be so much stronger than your feeling of loneliness then.

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And if you learn to I don't want to say escape loneliness,

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because feeling lonely at times is okay too. But if you know

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that, you can create something while you are alone in order to

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serve others. It can be a way bigger, can have a way heavier

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impact on your well being then engaging in binge eating or

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going back to your cigarette. I'm sure you understand where

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I'm trying to go with us monologue here. Another thing is

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behavior. So if we have people in angry states or depressed

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states, we can also go back in time and find out what made that

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person so angry. What what makes that person so depressed

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nowadays. And I know it's very simple to say and there's not

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only one cause there's so many causes that lead to depression

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and anger, difficulties with angry feelings. But it is a

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start to go back and to see what happened for me to feel that

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way. And how can I help myself out there

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again? And how can I learn to express myself in different ways

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in ways that people want to listen to me? People want to

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help me and when it comes to depression, it is so critical to

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not isolate and to talk to someone professionally and to be

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really honest with how you feel and when it comes to anger

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management and you're not happy with how you react in certain

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situations you can also go back and see that anger is kind of

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second level emotion and underneath there's always

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something else going on it can be guilt it can be shame it can

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be sadness but you learn to react angry because it gives you

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some sense of power you feel people are listening to you you

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feel you're not a whiny little bitch but you are angry powerful

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person but anger only goes so far and pushes people away and

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raw honesty being honest with your people that are around you

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and vulnerable can bring you so much more in life so in this

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episode i just started talking about change and why it is so

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hard to change i think i want to make it very clear that it is

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extreme hard work to change habits and behavior and to

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wanting to grow out from a box that makes you feel bad about

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yourself or doesn't fit you anymore a lifestyle that is not

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good for you anymore know that your previous lifestyle served

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you up until now and now you want to create space and kind of

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paint a frame on the wall and picture where you want to go so

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if you are struggling with binge eating then see you said see

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yourself not being binge eating anymore and being at a very

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peaceful stayed with yourself when you're alone and creating

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something for other people or just being good with who you are

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and when it comes to habits like smoking picture yourself not

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smoking picture your nails beautiful and shiny your teeth

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nice and wide your lungs beautiful and fresh so really

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have that picture in front of you of where you want to go

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after letting go of your old habits and the same goes for

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behavior be it anger or having a tendency to isolate and avoid

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people when you don't feel good picture yourself how you would

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interact in the future how you wouldn't be able to express

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yourself clearly and people would understand you and he

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would have deeper and more meaningful relationships because

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you are facing your shit and you want to get rid of old stuff

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that is not good for you anymore so it is very important to see

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what led you to have that habit that behavior go deep look at it

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and then let go of it and at the same time picture yourself with

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new habits the new you the new person you want to be and then

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we can be all more successful in changing and growing and growing

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is such a hard work and very challenging at times but i'm

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sure if you followed me for a little bit now it is so worth it

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because it brings you back to yourself and it opens up a

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totally new world thank you for listening to the borealis

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experience i love it so much to have someone of you on my

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instagram now i just started it a couple of days ago and it just

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fills me with joy that people enjoy my content and really

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yeah

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are there and spend time with me and don't want to fall into

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depression and don't want to fall into like get sucked into

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those tough times that COVID is offering us right now so from

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the bottom of my heart thank you so much for listening and for

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being curious about my work here take good care of yourself and

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we'll talk very soon again by your host aurora