In this episode, Tom shares some of the struggles that a lot of contractors are going through. Listen in to find out how you can simplify your business and make decisions to protect yourself, your well-being, and that of your family, and ultimately propel you to the next step.

For the full show notes, head on over to https://reflectivemarketing.com/podcast/Tom-Reber-How-To-Rise-Above-Your-Limiting-Beliefs-and-Achieve-Greater-Success

Krystal Hobbs 0:04

Welcome to Beyond The Tools, the podcast that helps contractors attract more leads, grow their business, and finally get off the tools. In each episode, you'll discover marketing tactics that work. You'll get actionable insights from other successful contractors, and connect with experts to help you grow. I'm your host, Krystal Hobbs, owner of a social media agency that helps contractors attract and convert more leads. Get ready to take your business to the next level so you can finally enjoy the fruits of your hard labor. Ready, let's go!

Krystal Hobbs 0:46

I love this conversation with Tom today because it's really about what goes on in our brains, that constant chatter is either lifting us up or tearing us down, and that's what ultimately affects everything that's going on in our lives and our business. In this conversation, Tom really shares some of the struggles that a lot of contractors are going through, how you can simplify your business and make decisions that are going to protect yourself, your well-being, and that of your family, and ultimately propel you to the next step. We talk about how success starts at home and it starts with you. If you are struggling in your business right now or you really just need a little extra pep in your step as we head into a new year, this is the interview for you. Let's head on over and hear from Tom.

Krystal Hobbs 2:56

Welcome to the show, Tom. So excited to have you here.

Tom Reber 2:59

Thank you for having me. I've been looking forward to having a conversation with you.

Krystal Hobbs 3:03

Me, too. And I know I told you this before, but I'm sure listeners aren't aware but when I was first starting this podcast, I was trying to get a feel for what was going on in the industry and what some of the other podcasts were. The Contractor Fight was one of the first ones that really stood out to me and I was a fan and a listener. So I'm thrilled that we get to be having this conversation today.

Tom Reber 3:31

We've been at it quite a while I think we're up over 700 and something episodes to date. And, it was it's funny this doing this as well with podcasting. Like you'd never want to go back and listen to those first ones as a host because you're terrible. At least I was like, I think my first 100 were bad. So I didn't figure it out till around 100 and something but yeah, we're always refining the show and looking to get better. And we're just blessed to have a lot of people that like our style, so appreciate you.

Krystal Hobbs 4:06

Absolutely. And for those listeners who aren't super familiar with you and your work, what is The Contractor Fight, and what's your mission?

Tom Reber 4:16

Yeah, so The Contractor Fight the broad I'll get into the other stuff in a second here, but we coach home improvement contractors and CEOs and we have tons of free resources out there. We do speaking engagements, put on big events, and all that to help contractors win the fight between their ears and that's really what The Contractor Fight is. We, every human being has a battle going on every day between our ears. And so The Contractor Fight addresses that first and foremost, to help people win that fight. And then once you take care of that, everything else is just kind of some math and some strategy to grow your business, and so our number one purpose and mission is to bring respect and dignity back to the trades.

Krystal Hobbs 4:59

I love that. So when you talk about the fight between your ears, what is the reality for most contractors right now? Why are they struggling the way that they are?

Tom Reber 5:13

I want to encourage you guys to get uncomfortable and run into the punch and put as much or more effort into being a business person as you have learned in your craft. Everything that we say here (my wife reminds me all the time and she actually says it, now we say it so much in the fight) that the minute you go into business for yourself and the trades, whatever that skill is in the trade - carpenter, painter, whatever - that is no longer your number one job. That's not your role anymore. The work has to be done. That's a given. We get that. But your number one role is to sell stuff to build your brand. It's to lead your team. It's to run the business. It's not to do the craft.

Krystal Hobbs 8:11

Yeah, it's timely. I had a conversation this morning with a friend who's a business owner in the trades and in a similar position and that, looking at it, I could make way more money doing something else than working for somebody else, and all the stress that comes with that. But I think a lot of people don't realize it doesn't have to be that way which is probably a simplification in a lot of ways. But do you think that contractors are overcomplicating things?

Tom Reber 8:45

Yeah, absolutely. I think that's actually a great segue because I know that you talk a lot about how some of the decisions that business owners make are essentially stealing from their family or from their partner, can you share a little more about that?

Well, every time you negotiate against yourself, you're stealing time, money, and memories for your family. And every time you run out for free to somebody who's never going to be your customer, you're stealing from your family. You're stealing from your future self. You're stealing from your retirement. I remember going on a vacation. Number one, I hadn't been on a vacation in like 10 years, as many years ago, and then finally scraped enough money together to go on vacation. And I couldn't afford ice cream for the whole family. So my wife and I didn't get ice cream. And we told the kids to get a small and this is supposed to be a vacation. And so and you're stealing from your family because you're stubborn. You think “we've done it this way” or “this can't be done in my area or because of the Brazilians.” I hear the Brazilians all the time that's why I say that. People say that, like clients of ours, it's just kind of an inside joke here. Sorry. But if you're Brazilian, I love you, but you get the point. There's no way you can charge that in my area and my trade and not now with the recession. And we like right now with recession, inflation, whatever we want to call it, you guys, you're stealing from your family right now, if you haven't raised your prices right now. Most contractors are racing to the bottom right now. But what they don't understand and I don't know what you're seeing Krystal, but like, with the people you work with, the lead flow is dipping. A little bit part of it is the winter time and the holidays and the economy, whatever it is. So when lead flow dips, you have fewer at-bats. So you actually have to raise your prices to recover your overhead on fewer opportunities. And contractors have it flipped around and you're stealing from your family. So I encourage everybody to just back to keeping it simple, right? Just keep it simple. The two most important words in business are clarity and consistency. Define what you want, the life that you want to live, and how you want to show up or how you want to spend your time. What do you want to look like health-wise? What do you want your relationship to look like? And then reverse engineer your life with consistent daily actions where you're winning the moments each and every day. Because every moment of decision, you have to raise your price, not to raise your price, that's a micro decision. So I'm writing a new book right now called Win The Moments and so it's fresh in my brain, but we lose or we win based on the micro decisions. So what I mean by that, like, we're going into the new year, and people are going to start setting what I call macro goals, right? They're going to make macro decisions. I'm going to lose 50 pounds this year. That's the macro one-time decision. Okay, well then the rubber hits the road and it's do I eat the donut or not? Do I work out and honor the commitment I made or not? That's the macro decision you have to win the moment in. So just look at the moment and each time we make a decision, one way or the other, we're casting a vote for the future you, our future self. So if you want a wealthy, fulfilled life, you want to be in shape, and you want to have a great relationship with your spouse or partner, then you have to win more moments than you lose. And it's just simple. I don't know, I don't get it. But you're casting a vote, right? You're voting for who you want in office in the future version of you.

Absolutely. One of the things I love Tom about your content, and obviously you do amazing marketing, and I love how you put yourself out there. One of the things that I admire and think is so important is the way you talk about your wife. I think that's beautiful. And also something that you don't necessarily hear a whole lot of. How important do you think your home life is to your success in business?

Well, success starts at home. And, and I would say, so if people can visualize dropping a rock into the water, right, just from above, and where the rock hits are you, you are the center of your universe. Don't feel bad. You're not being selfish. You have to get oxygen for yourself, okay? So whatever that looks like for you. For me, everybody in the house here, everyone in our company knows that there are certain times in the morning that Tom does, she's the queen, my wife, we call her the queen, she calls it that thing I do, which is my morning routine, right? She's like, go do that thing you do. All right, and everybody knows Tom's doing his thing. And she has her thing. And so we get oxygen, because my life, my relationships, and my business will only be as strong as I am. So get in shape. Cut back on the booze. Get sleep. All these things to take care of you what read fills your brain with good stuff, good books, good podcasts like this. That's getting oxygen, then the next ring of that ripple of the rock is what I call my people. And that starts with my wife, and then our kids, and then our fight team is all within that realm of my people. And they get my best energy, the first spots on my calendar in that order to her, kid's, company, and then the next ring out, we call build your empire. Okay, that's building our business. And so most of us and I did this for many years, and guys, you don't know me, I've been on the top, I've been on the bottom, I've been bankrupt I everywhere in between wealthy, whatever. And what I found for many years, when I was struggling more I had it flipped, I was in the name of taking care of my family, the business was first, right? And my health suffered, we weren't going on date nights, and you're just consumed by trying to grow this thing with good intentions. You're not trying to steal time from your family, but you are. So success starts at home, you have to dial it in there.

So when we talk about all of that, change is hard and scary and if you're in a position right now where work and life feel like a real struggle, it can be difficult to know where to begin. So I know you talked about getting in shape and getting things in order at home but what are some of those micro-decisions that you can make to be able to improve things?

Simplify this, again, right, like it's a big word in our life here. My life is simplified like the first micro decision is to take care of yourself and I don't want to be a broken record here, but sit down with your spouse or if you're not married or have a partner or whatever, the first step is to honor the commitments you're already making yourself. That's where your confidence grows. And so for instance, if I'm somebody who just knows I haven't been winning on all fronts of life and business, and by the way, you can have both at the same time, it doesn't have to be either or, but sit down with your spouse and just go, Hey, listen, I'm not thrilled with the way things are going in life and in business right now. And it starts with me. We have a thing in the fight called Own Your Crap. Like looking in the mirror, you don't have progress without truth. And so let's just tell the truth. Here's the truth. I've gotten out of shape. I'm not eating right. I'm drinking too much. I'm undisciplined with my time or whatever. And if I'm talking to my wife about, I'm like, Babe, I gotta dial this in and so here's what I need, are you cool, I've got to go on this eating plan, or I gotta get some sleep and this and that. And the second thing I want to do is I want to make sure that I'm protecting our relationship. So let's schedule a date night that's not non-negotiable, or whatever. Like, just start with those couple of little things. Listen, we all have crazy seasons of business in life, right? So win in the moments is to communicate. Don't expect your partner or your team or anybody to be mind readers. And if you're struggling with your team, and you want to turn something in, and maybe things are great at home but your team's a mess, sit down with your team and just go, guys, I've failed you, and here's how I failed you. I've failed to be a great example for you of discipline and consistency, or whatever it might be. And that will move the needle way more than you give them crap about their performance. And the right ones will step up and stay and the wrong ones a lot themselves out of your life and your business forever. And that's a good thing.

I'm just finding that the longer I do this, just grow as a communicator, don't be a mind reader, ask open-ended questions. We always go into fix-it mode. I'm gonna say guys go into fix-it mode mostly. But I also think business owners go into fix-it mode because we're used to fixing stuff. And you're not alone. Like win the moments are also leaning on your team, leaning on your spouse. Last night, we were driving and I have a decision I have to make in the near future, meaning in the next three years, that's near future to me. So I have a decision I have to make about something in the company and we're driving and I and I just said, Hey, I'm going to need your perspective on this and when to have this conversation with this person in the company. And it's a good thing, it's not a bad thing for the company. It's just a good thing. And I said Because you have a perspective that I trust. And so, sometimes I'll go to the team, our CEO in the Contractor Fight, his name's Neil. We have a Slack channel yesterday morning, and two mornings ago, he put a message out. And he had a problem. And he just put it out to the team. And he's like, “Alright, listen, I know we're smarter when we're all thinking in the same direction here, instead of me trying to figure all this out.” So get your ego out of the way. That's another way to win the moments. And it doesn't mean that you're not in charge and you're not decisive. And it's not your final say, but get that input from people and be a better communicator. And you'd be surprised how it helps your culture grow. And I know, I sound like a broken record but this is what it means to keep it simple. Like my partner, I shared with you earlier, he lived by the platinum rule. The golden rule is to treat others the way you want to be treated. The Platinum Rule is to treat others the way they want to be treated. And so we'll sit down with teams and this is something I need to be better at. I'm just not that great at this because I'm always charging forward and super assertive and just attacking all the time and I need to slow down now. This goes for you now, your team, your home, your kids, and all these things just learn to be a better communicator. And in fact, our sales training program is like 99.9% just learning how to communicate with empathy. Like, that's it. And we have guys that go, we have a guy, I'm thinking I could do a dozen examples. So I want to encourage you guys like it's just keeping it simple and trust the process, this is where we come up with you and the marketing stuff that you do. We tell people all the time that you need to sell like you're independently wealthy, right without desperation, but you need to market like your next meal depends on it. That's why people need to hire you, they need to hire you to dial this stuff in and get clear on who their ideal client is. And, be clear on what their message is, and be consistent and play the long game with this stuff. And then while you're doing your thing, there are certain activities that are daily activities, we call them that they could be doing to supplement what you're doing on that other side of the marketing piece. And that's how this stuff works. It's simple. Stop complicating it.

Yeah. And it's absolutely the truth that if you've got a consistent flow of new opportunities coming in all the time, then you don't have to grovel or take jobs that aren't really suited to you. Because the next ones are around the corner.

In fact, the reason I brought up Anthony is he really focused on like our sales process, we teach you how to communicate with empathy and ask great questions. So the main thing number one thing he did was he practices sales roleplay calls in our group every day of the week. That's how he turned his mindset around and stuff we do. Every weekday we have live role plays with 50 to 60 contractors on these calls, and you're getting better if I was in the Marine Corps. Marines go to the rifle range, right? Golfers go to the driving range. Major league baseball players go into the batting cages. You don't just get to a level and just stay there. You have to keep refining your skills and there's always another level and so all of this is just rooted in how you think and how you communicate. I promise guys your success is so less about the trade. Every time somebody comes to me with a problem, like I can't find employees, nobody wants to work. I go, “Build your brand.” Build your brand. Build your brand. When you build your brand, you are magnetic, you are attractive, and you can be found. There are 20 carpenters in your area right now. If you're a GC or carpenter company or painting or whatever, there are 20 of whatever you want in your area right now, they would love to come work for you but they don't know you exist, because you don't build your brand. In your awareness, word-of-mouth crap is a badge of honor. Okay? Word of mouth is amazing, I love it. But it's not predictable. It's not building your brand, it's just referral work. And if you want to stay small, a million bucks or less, or whatever, and be a small contractor, then go for it. That's fine. I'm not telling you. But for all you that go, I want to scale, I want to build a team and I can't, it's rooted in building your brand, raising your prices, people pay more money for brands. I mean, I just bought the new iPhone because my old iPhone broke and I paid for it last night, the iPhone 14 or whatever it is. And I paid more because it's Apple, right? People pay more for Nordstroms. And people, they'll pay more for you if they know who you are. And here's the other thing, when you're building your brand on social media, and all the things that you do and stuff, and you're showing people behind the curtain, the type of people, that's why I share so much about my life and my relationship with the queen. And those things that you referenced earlier, I want people to know the type of people we are here in the fight. And so when you do that, I promise you, there's another form and at some other company, whose boss has been letting him down for eight years in a row. And it all started with he promised to give him a company truck seven years ago, and he still hasn't done it. Okay, and the only reason he hasn't left and come to work for you is he doesn't know you exist, because you don't build your brand. Building your brand and hiring to me is the same thing. You need to build a brand for customers, build your brand for future subs or employees, or, however, your business model is 365 days a year non-negotiable build your brand.

Yeah, and I think a lot of people think that it is more complicated than it is. But the bar is very low, especially in the trades, I find there are not that many companies that are proactive about posting frequently and sharing their team and all the opportunities.

Let me say this also, you got to be attractive, not just to your client and future clients, but to the future workforce. And I know this is a big pain for everybody right now. So I want you to just would you want to hang out with me. Would you want to come to work every day where you were you're running the show? Would you be inspired by you your health and your relationship and your life? One of the reasons kids don't want to go in the trades is they're looking at their dad who's fat and out of shape. He's got plumbers crack. The marriage is a wreck. They don't have any money to go on vacation. This was me, by the way. Okay, growing up, my friends were all the sons of lawyers and doctors, and we're going to Vail and everywhere for spring, right? We never went anywhere for spring break. And my dad was the trades guy now love my dad and all that like, right, okay, but you guys, are you living an attractive life where people would go, Man, the trades don't look too bad. You get to be outside. You get to build cool stuff. You get to use cool drones and technology for marketing or whatever it might be, and you're making shit tons of money. If you've been in the game as a home improvement contractor in any way, shape, or form for more than, I don't know, I feel really bad when I say this, but I'm just gonna say like, for more than three years, and you're not making 250 grand in your pocket, you are missing the boat. All right, you're missing the boat. It's time that you live in a gated community instead of just working in them, okay? Like, it's time that you can go pay cash for the new car, the new Audi, or whatever that you want, instead of just your customers. And this again, circles back to our mindset, how we think about ourselves. And the value of thank you that you deserve or don't deserve certainly affects that. So, let's raise our standards.

So, win the moments right now raise prices. Look at your last job, whatever it is, if it's not at least a 50%, gross profit, then raise your prices on the next bit right now. Period. Don't inch your way up, just do it. Jump in the cold water and get it over with. It's not that bad. And when you build your brand with somebody like Krystal, when you learn how to sell and communicate, okay, in ways that other contractors won't in the sales process, the price is irrelevant. I promise you, it's like seventh on the list. Because people buy for their reasons, not yours. And you're putting all of your garbage about money and sales and what can and can't be things be sold for in your trade, you’re projecting that onto your prospect. I can't tell you how many hundreds of times through the years before I understood this stuff. I would bid something at 10 grand and the customer would go “Oh, thank God, I thought it was gonna be 30 because that's what our neighbor paid.”

I love that. Tom, we've covered a lot of ground here today. And I think so many valuable insights. I'm sure people are gonna want to connect with you. So I'll give you the opportunity to share that in a minute. But we are heading into a new year. I think it's very exciting. This is a timely conversation. And I'm just curious, what's one thing you're personally excited about for the next year?

I'm really excited about that. So it happened in mid-year, this year, I stepped aside as CEO of The Contractor Fight and just into the founder role. And my right-hand guy, Neil is the CEO. And he's a rockstar at just planning and running the day-to-day marketing, copywriting like, that's kind of his wheelhouse, but I'm excited for to enter this full year in my new role as the founder because now I can speak more. I could do more workshops. I could do more keynotes. My time is freed up so much that I can write more. As I said, I'm writing another book right now and I'm about halfway done. And it'll be done by the end of the year here, and then off and released at the end of the first quarter. And so I'm just excited because I know with me getting out of the way, and this is a leadership lesson, guys, if you're not the ideal person, for certain things, get out of the way, like my hustle and grind mentality got us to where we are a multimillion-dollar coaching company. But I have goals to go to 50 and $100 million in the next 10 years. And I'm not the guy to run the day-to-day to do that. So follow my lead on that. If you ain't the right person, get out of the way and put your ego aside and focus on your strengths. So I'm really just excited to have them, my bandwidth is just expanded now. Because we have not just Neil but we have an amazing team in the fight around a dozen amazing coaches and support people. Since it's a marketing show, I want to encourage people to really sit back and take some time to figure out what your brand promise is. This is something that we just arrived on last summer, after all the years in the business of what it really was. And for us, when you come to the fight, you work with the fight, you interact, you come to what event, whatever our brand promise that is fanatical attention. That's what we deliver. There's no we're the most high-touch coaching company on the planet for contractors, most of these coaching groups have hundreds of people in them, you get in and they do a webinar and maybe you can ask a question now and then and stuff. We have open coaching every week, you can tag a coach, and a lot of times the coach will pick the phone up and call you this is group coaching, by the way.

That's amazing. So, Tom, I'm sure listeners are going to want to connect with you and see what you're up to over the next year. So what's the best way for them to do that?

They can always go to contractorfight.com. If you want a free copy of Winning the Contractor Fight, you can go to the contractorfight.com forward slash book just pay shipping and handling and I'm pretty active on Instagram @realtomreber. So any of those places and any social pretty much but there you go.

All right, and we'll put all those links in the show notes as well. So if you're listening you can go to beyondthetoolspodcast.com or just click through and you can connect with Tom there. Thank you so much. I really enjoyed this conversation today. And I know our listeners are gonna get so much value from this and really puts them in the right frame of mind for the new year.

There you go. Well, I appreciate you having me. Enjoy the holidays.

Hey, guys, just wanted to say thank you again for listening to Beyond The Tools. I love hearing from our listeners and knowing what topics, what guests, and what's resonating with you from these episodes. So if you want to share your feedback, please do so. You can DM me @reflectivemarketing on Instagram and Facebook. We're also on Twitter, LinkedIn, Tiktok - wherever you want to, so @reflectivemarketing. And if you are enjoying the show, please go ahead and leave us a review. It really helps us to spread the word to other contractors about our podcast. Thank you so much again.