Welcome to the Potential Leader Lab Podcast, and I'm your host, Perry Maughmer. And today, we're gonna do a little, what I'll call an existential off ramp. And the reason I call it an existential off ramp is because I view as empowering and energizing that she does not. So I I realized there's different feelings around things. So when I say leading in a meaningless world, to some people, they would be like, oh, crap. I don't this just sounds horrible. I don't wanna do that. It sounds it sounds like anxiety inducing, and there has to be meaning in the world.

I get that. That's not really what I'm talking about. Meaningless to me is really important and and empowering because if the world itself is meaningless, we can add meaning to it, which I think is is powerful. And that's really so today, what I wanna talk about and why I called it existential offering because I wanna about existentialism because it's really central to my thought process and how I see the world. It's central to how I coach people. It's central to how I I live my life. And so I think there's some things that we can do that are really, really, impactful. And, hopefully, any there'll be something in here that'll be useful to you.

So I'm gonna walk through and just kinda about talk a little bit about existentialism itself and then talk about some of the core tenets and foundational concepts and how I see them connecting to the life we live and the way we lead today. So, existentialism is in and of itself a philosophical theory that emphasizes the existence of an individual person as a free and responsible agent determining their own development through acts of the will. Now just think about that. And I view this as, again, wildly empowering and powerful. Emphasizes the existence of the individual person as a free and responsible agent determining their own development through acts of the will. I tell people all the time, we act our way into being and that is essentially one of the core tenants of existentialism is that existence precedes essence. So what that means is we are, to use their use, I think, it might have been, I don't know if it was Sartre or oh, anyway, I'm not gonna get caught up in who it was, but they said we were thrown into the world. It might have been Kierkegaard.

I don't know. But it we're thrown into the world. So we don't choose to be born, essentially. If you just think about it in in those terms, you're born without your your it wasn't your will to be born. So when you're thrown into the world, you create that mean that means your existence preceded your essence. So the powerful part of this is it's up to us. We have the ability to define who we are through our actions. Right? And that's the and for them, there's a couple for for existentialists, there's a couple things that are tied to that.

Right? So think about this. We can apply it in real life and it it applies a lot in leadership because we have to recognize that we're free individuals who have the responsibility to create meaning and purpose in our lives, and it encourages us to take responsibility for choices and actions and to live in the present moment. Now as a leader, not only am I free to create meaning, I have a responsibility to create meaning and purpose in my own life, but I have the opportunity, the the blessing, the choice, the whatever you wanna call it, to help others create meaning and purpose in their lives as well. And that's a pretty powerful thing because there are a lot of people I wanna go back to this responsibility to create meaning and purpose. There are some people who who feel meaningless or they lack purpose. They don't know where they fit in, and they don't feel empowered to do anything about it. And that's what existentialism, why I view it as as a huge opportunity for people because the whole theory is you have the ability to create your meaning for yourself. Now it it consider you know, human nature is open ended, flexible, and capable of an enormous range of experiences, and we're in a constant process of becoming.

I create myself as I exist. There's no self. There's no essential self. No solid self. No given definition of a person's personality or abilities. We're free to become. And I've I've toyed around with this word, and I I I tested on people sometimes. I said, we should never have been called human beings.

We should be called human becomings because we're always in that transient state, that liminal state of creation, and it's up to us. Right? We're in a constant state, a constant process of becoming. I create myself as I exist. That's a powerful thing. And research now tells us we're not, you know, there was a book, and I think it was Scott Barry Kaufman wrote the book, personality is not permanent. No. It wasn't. It was Hardy.

It was, it was Hardy who wrote the book. Personality is not permanent. And that's true. We're not hardwired. I I I deal with the I, one of the things I do is I use an assessment called a predictive index. And so it's like any personality assessment. I'm sure everybody listening has taken some, you know, DISC or an MBTI or, you know, take your pick. There's 100 of them.

And they're all good. They're they're all scientifically valid. I I endorse all of them. Right? Here's the thing. And I make sure people understand this because it's a little, paradox goal when I talk to people. Because when somebody takes a personality assessment, they look at it as a static item and they say, oh, that's who I am. Now, I disagree with that and I tell them that when I talk to them. I say, okay.

I want you to think about this in this context. First of all, almost, all the ones I know of are all self reported. Right? So you're you're essentially telling yourself who you are. So think about that. There's a there's a process that you're using. There's a tool and assessment you're using, but you are putting in all of the inputs about yourself. So you have to be clear about that, first of all, because if you don't like the output, you're the one in charge of the inputs. So it's not it's not doing anything to the inputs except running it through the filters that are scientifically valid, telling you, well, if you answered these questions this way, then this is who you are.

So, again, not the assessment's fault if you don't like the outcome. So I just wanted to throw that out there. But what I tell people with the predictive index, there's a there's a graph at the top of the page that says self. And it's essentially measuring 4 drives, your dominance, your extroversion, your stability, and your, formality. Right? So just the whole theory is everybody has these 4 drives and they show up differently. Now what I tell people is when you fill this out, what this graph represents is who you can be with no energy. Alright? So simply, I can I can act like this says I act and I don't have to think about it and I don't have to expend any additional energy to be that person? Now, the truth is whoever whatever if you were 20, 25, 56, whatever, at whatever age you took that assessment, that is who you are being with no energy, with no thought at all based on your upbringing, education, experience, and all those things. Up to that point, you had probably not given much thought to the way you acted.

You just kind of resolved yourself to this is these are the this is the way I am around these things, which is true, until you find out it's a choice. Until you find out that is how I act without thinking, now the choice becomes, do I wanna act differently by thinking? Because all of the folks, and I know they probably take it not the way I intended or maybe I do intend it this way. As I tell people after they take it, now your behavior is a choice. So let that sink in. Now imagine because all of us kind of we take the we take the standpoint that well, you've heard people say it. You've probably said it. I've said it. Everybody says it.

Well, that's just the way I am. That's just the way I am. And it's true, and it's not. It is true that's the way you are. It's not true that's who that's how you have to be. And, what I tell everybody that I work with who takes an assessment, if if your behavior is serving you and all those you care about to the best that you can imagine, is providing you with all of the best results and you're achieving all of your goals and you're you're showing up to be the very best version of yourself to all those you care about, change nothing. Don't worry about it. But if all of those things aren't true and there's opportunity exists for you to evolve and and show up differently for the people that you care most about, to have a different, more positive impact on the world around you, to create a better world for those that you care deeply about, then you can do that if you choose to.

Again, choice, which is the crux of existentialism, and the and I think that's really important. And and so we always have a choice even if it's not the choice we want. We always have a choice. So there's a couple, foundational concepts for, that I just wanna touch on a little bit that I think are important. One is, the absurdity. So absurdity is big with existentialism and it just refers to the idea that there's so many unknowns in life and anything could happen at any time. Now there are some times here with stoicism, I think. Like, I'm a fan of both.

I lean towards existentialism. Stoicism's big and I love some components of it and I think there's some some bleed over. And the I it's really about absurdity is that anything can happen at any time with no specific pattern. You know, that means life is absurd because it has no meaning until we attach importance to it, which really connects well to stoicism. Stoicism says the same thing. Stoicism says events are our events are neutral. Nothing happens for or against you. Suffering begins the moment you assign value to it.

So it's very similar to stoicism in that sense, but they call it as absurdity. Absurdity is life essentially doesn't make any sense. Events are gonna happen. There's no rhyme or reason. There's no pattern. There's no cause. They just happen. And so for an existentialist, that's the absurdity of life.

Now, that absurdity leads to the second component which is anxiety. Because in a world like that where things there's no rhyme or reason and things are random, there is a sense of anxiety because I can't predict anything. I don't feel in control. So I have anxiety and and I and one of the, existential philosophers said anxiety is the dizziness of freedom, which I love. It is the dizziness of freedom. As a just as a interesting little side note and I think it was it wasn't, it wasn't it was Camus, Albert Camus who said the central question of existentialism, the only question worth discussing in life is whether you should kill yourself or not. That's the only question that Khay Moo was concerned with. And I just wanted to bring that up because it's about meaning in life and about an absurd life and if you can find and create meaning for yourself in an absurd life.

And, it's funny because I I I read this and it was it just struck me that if anybody's ever walked up to the edge of a precipice, like you walk up to the very edge of something and you kinda stand there and you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach, that that's anxiety. Right? Now most people think they're feeling that because they don't that that you could fall. Like, it's that feeling of, I gotta be really careful I'm gonna fall. An existentialist will tell you that feeling, that anxiety you're feeling is acknowledging the choice that you can jump, which is a pretty powerful way to look at it. That anxiety you're feeling is because you know standing there right now, you have free will. You can choose to jump if you want. That's the that's the butterflies in the pit of your stomach. Now, the third one, and these are funny because they all kinda start with a, authenticity, which is big nowadays.

Right? So everybody's talking, oh, I wanna be authentic. I gotta be authentic. Okay. That's all crap. Right? We're not talking about some inner fixed version of yourself that you have to be. We're talking about creating ourselves through our actions. Back to personality is not permanent. There's nobody you were destined to be.

There's no there's no you that everybody's like holding back and not letting out and all that crap where people like, I just have to be authentic. I have to okay. That's fine. You can be an authentic asshole then. Right? If that's what you wanna be, fine. But there is no authentic you other than the one you create. And again, I tie these things together so I I'm gonna go back to self transcendence. If I'm serving others, if my whole goal is to transcend who I am in the service of others, then my authenticity should support that.

Who can I how can I act my way in authenticity around that concept, around doing the best? My authentic self in my mind is the one that serves others that I care about deeply. That's what guides my authenticity. That's what guides my evolution is how am I showing up for other people. I've and I've shared this before on on I've talked about this before is that I'll often talk to Lisa, my wife, about this stuff, and and I'll tell her about the things I'm working on. And I'll tell her why I'm working on them. You know? Why I'm I'm working on me. How I wanna be different in this or be I wanna change this or I wanna evolve over here. And she routinely and I and I tell her it's due to interactions she and I have, and I think about those.

I reflect back on them, and they didn't work the way I wanted them to. Like, that's not who I wanna be. So and she said, well, I don't she gets very, like, gets very, I don't know what I would say. Very certain are actually quasi offended and and kind of, very empathetic. And she's like, I don't I don't want you it's almost like guilt a little bit. She goes, I don't want you changing for me. You know, this is guilt. That's it.

It's guilt. She goes, I don't want you changing for me. And I'm like, I genuinely appreciate that. And here's the thing, I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for me because I wanna be a better person. I appreciate our interaction and that you gave me that feedback. So I'm not I wanna be clear. I'm not doing it so you'll feel differently.

I'm doing it so I'll feel differently because it's incumbent upon me to do these things. And that's what I mean by authenticity. I my authentic self that I thought I would have been 20 years ago is very different than what I would consider my authentic self today, which I'm also hopeful will be different than the authentic self I believe I can be in 10 years from now. Because and I I forget the gentleman, the quote, but I always loved it, which is, if if you're not embarrassed by the person you were 12 months ago, you aren't paying close enough attention. So authenticity should evolve based on our environment and what we learn. We should never be satisfied and stop evolving. We never we never done. And then I touched on existence precedes essence.

That's another foundational concept. And then freedom. And, again, I know that people talk about freedom. I'm not free to do this. I have this limitation. I hear all that. But John Wooden said, don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. And and just think about the quote.

We always have a choice even if it's not the one we want. So I get that we're not all absolutely a 100% without regard to anything free. But we do maintain a lot of freedom within the realm that we exist, within our bubble. We are free to behave in a way that exhibits who we are. We can act ourself into another way of being. And I'm sure you've heard the phrase, it's easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of acting. This is not a thinking problem. This is an action issue.

This is a do issue, not a think issue. Too many people and and, you know, what's amazing is if you think about this, people people mistake the process. They mistake the sequence. I'm gonna think, research, study, all this stuff, and I'll get motivated. The reality, the way our brain works, is we do something. We take action first, which leads to a result, which then motivates us to do more. So motivation actually follows action, not the other way around. Motivation doesn't cause action.

Motivation follows action. And if you listen to any, there's a couple different folks I've listened to. One of them was Jocko Willink who says, I don't I don't get motivated. I just do. How I feel about things doesn't involve doesn't impact any of my actions. If I have to do something, I do it. I don't think about it. I don't think about how I feel about it.

I don't worry about it. I do it. And there was a couple other folks I've heard with similar vein, like, in different different areas of life where they're like, no. I I set my world up. And again, and it's you can do this. Like, you set your world up to make it easy for you to do the things you wanna do. If that's who you wanna become, you have to target you have to target the mindset. You have to you bring up the mindset of who do I wanna become? Who do I wanna evolve into? Once I figure that out, I'm gonna create paths of less friction to get there.

I'm gonna make it harder for me not to do those things. I'm not gonna make it hard to do them. I'm gonna make it hard not to do them. So, again, 3 core beliefs. Basically, action, freedom, and decision, and in that order. And there's there's absolutely no meaning or purpose in our lives other than what our freedom creates. Therefore, we have to rely on our own resources to do that. It's tremendously empowering To think this to think this through and think about, okay, I have everything within me, which is one of my core beliefs about people.

Everything's in there. So you act your way into being. You don't think your way into being. You're not, you know, if you go back to essence doesn't precede existence, existence precedes essence. You were thrown into the world. You were thrown into an absurd world. And now, to overcome your anxiety and to achieve your authenticity, you act because you have absolute freedom to become whatever it is you choose to. Well, I hope there's something in there that sticks.

I know it was, when I said an existential off ramp, it might have been a it might have been a roundabout, not an off ramp, and I get that. It made sense to me, but as my wife always says, sometimes other people can't connect the dots that are in my head, and I get that. But I do hope that you pulled something out of it. I hope that it's empowering. I hope that you feel better than when you started listening because that was my hope. I don't believe that being in an absurd world is a negative. I don't believe being in a meaningless world is negative because I think we all add meaning to it and we need all of us to add our own meanings because, collectively, we're better than we are individually. So till next time, be good and take care of each other.