If you've been having a hard time creating goals that you feel driven to achieve and if you want to access the inspirations that bring meaning to your dreams, then this episode is for you. Discover the power of the open heart and how it emerges when you tune in to your inner wisdom and maintain harmony with what is most meaningful to YOU. Understand how you can increase your ability to create or uncover even more opportunities that will help you achieve your goals and dreams by using the power of the open heart.

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And that unconscious information is the disorder of the entropy.

And so the entropy is the arrow of time that causes you to age.

Today I'm going to be talking about the power of your open heart in

the creation of your goals and dreams and the objectives that you would like to

make and the significance of an open heart.

And so if you have something write with and write on, that would be great,

because what I'm about to say is probably going to be a little different than

what you're probably used to.

We've heard the term many times about, 'this opened my heart',

or 'I have an open heart about things.' It's a very common term that we've heard

in personal development,

but I'd like to talk about what that open heart is and make a distinction

between that and dopamine and serotonin rushes,

confused with an open heart. Now,

most of us have had a moment in life where we've been a bit infatuated,

we met somebody that we think might be more

advantageous than disadvantageous, more advantages than disadvantages,

in other words, more positive than negative, more pleasure than pain,

more positive outcomes than negative.

And we've been a little infatuated.

And what happens is it stimulates a dopamine rush from the amygdala,

the desire center in the subcortical area of our brain.

It also elevates vasopressin and

oxytocin, which we feel bonded to that. It elevates serotonin,

which makes us create a fantasy about what we're about to have happen.

It activates encephalons and endorphins and sometimes estrogen.

So we feel nurtured and peaceful and happy and all that stuff.

And what that does is it gives us a feeling that we're safe and supported,

and what happens is we're now conscious of all the upsides and

we're unconscious of the downsides.

We see all the perceived rewards, but we don't see the, you might say,

the risks. It's like Michael Douglas when he met Glenn Close for the first time,

it was a passionate, in fact, that's the definition of passion,

it's a passionate frenzy or impulse.

It's an irrational exuberance, and we can get such a high from this.

It is a high. It's a manic state.

And this manic state is often confused because we feel so

receptive. And we're in the,

what I call the rest and digest and feed and breed energy.

And we just want to consume it like, in the animal kingdom,

it's called, we see prey,

we want to eat it and we salivate and we want to consume it.

Just like when we're infatuated with somebody, we want to consume them.

We want to nibble on them, chew on them, if you will.

And this is a dopamine rush and a serotonin rush,

and we confuse it with an open heart. We're infatuated,

and we think we're in love. But

the ancients said that when you see more similarities than differences you have

infatuation. When you see more differences than similarities,

you have resentment. So now you see more similarities you go, 'Oh my God,

we hav the same number of eyes, same number ribs, same number of teeth,

same number of elbows, so we must be soulmates.' kind of thing. This,

infatuated blindness,

where we're conscious of the upside and unconscious of the downside,

is a judgment. And in the process of doing it,

we tend to put them up on a pedestal and we tend to minimize ourselves

and we tend to move out of what's really, normally what's most important to us,

to kind of sacrifice what our real identity is and

what's important to us to be close to that, to be near that.

And we'll sacrifice ourselves for them when we're infatuated and we'll get this

high and we'll create these fantasies, we'll get this,

'Wow' and we'll think that's an open heart.

And this is so commonly perceived as an open heart. We think, 'Oh my God,

I love this person', but it's actually an infatuation.

An infatuation is blindness to the downside. And we'll be broadsided.

A day, a week, a month, or some period in the future we'll start to discover,

'Oh my God, it's not what we thought'.

And we start to find those peccadilloes and challenges that start to merge,

and we start to think, 'Hmm,

that's not really what I thought.' And then we feel almost betrayed by our own

fantasy we projected. Because anytime we sacrifice ourselves for them,

we tend to think, well, you know, we did this for you, now

you owe us kind of things without realizing we're doing it.

And then eventually we say, 'you know what? I want my life back',

and you start wanting to go back to do the things that were normally high on

your priority and not necessarily theirs.

And you re-established sort of an equilibrium and you

down off the pedestal and try to level the playing field.

And when the level playing field occurs,

you actually now get to be more neutral and you're able to be yourself

along with them and take them off the pedestal.

But as long as you're infatuated with them and you get all those dopamine

rushes, serotonin rushes, you think you're in love,

you think you've got an open heart, but you don't, you have a judgment.

On the other flip side,

when you are seeing somebody that really challenges your values and you see more

drawbacks than benefits, more negatives than positives,

more pains than pleasures, more differences than similarities,

and you resent somebody and you look down on them,

and you're conscious of the risks without the rewards,

the negatives without the postives,

you tend to puff yourself up and try to project your values onto

them. When you're infatuated with them, you tend to sacrifice yours for them.

And you tend to inject their values into your life and try to be somebody you're

not. Now, you're trying to get there them to be living in your values.

And again, you don't have an open heart. You have now a judgment,

but this one's got not dopamine and serotonin.

This one's got substance P,

testosterone and cortisol, norepinephrine, osteocalcin,

it's got a whole new set of chemistries.

And those chemistries are withdrawal, instinct away. This one over here,

when you're infatuated is impulse towards. This is instinct away.

Neither of those are an open heart. They're both judgments.

But this one is pleasure and this one's pain. This one you seek,

this one you avoid. And that's our amygdala, the desire center,

the desire to seek that which is infatuated,

desire to avoid that which is resented. We seek prey,

we avoid predator kind of thing.

And only when we actually bring those into balance,

where we're not resenting them,

because when we're resenting them we're too proud to admit what we see in them

is inside us,

and we're disowning what we see and we're puffing ourselves up with pride and

that's not where we're authentic.

And whenever we're not authentic and we're proud and looking down on somebody,

we tend to set goals that are too big in too short a timeframe,

and to set kind of fantasies inside ourselves because we start to exaggerate

ourself. And we also imagine when we're puffed up like that,

that they're supposed to live in our values and we give them an ultimatum,

'our way or the highway, baby. If you don't do this. I'm outta here'.

So whenever we minimize ourselves and put somebody on a pedestal,

we're not being authentic again. And when we're exaggerating ourselves,

we're not authentic. So we're not authentic.

We're exaggerating ourselves looking down on people or minimizing ourselves,

looking up on people, trying to change us to be like other people.

We can't live in their values. We have our own values.

And we can't get them to live in our values, because

So that's a futile, unappreciated state,

where are we think this is love and openheartedness and we

think this is hate. But the reality is, it's just infatuation, resentment.

And neither one of those are effective.

And if we minimize them and get into resentment and puff ourselves up,

we tend to set too big a goals in too short a timeframes, only to humble us.

And if we minimize ourselves,

we'll tend to set too smaller goals in too long a time from,

just to rebuild us again.

So we get a feedback system from our environment when ever we skew reality with

some sort of subjective bias and don't see things as they are.

And don't see human beings balanced in the first place.

Because the reality is the person you infatuate with has got downsides and

you're blind to it. You're ignorant of it.

And the person over here that you resent, this person you think is terrible,

a day, a week, a month, a year, five years later,

you find out that they actually served you.

'Thank you.' So you don't see the upsides.

So whenever you don't see the upsides or the downsides,

and you see only one side, you're imbalanced,

you have emotions and you passionately want avoid one and seek the other.

And you're extrinsically run, because anything you infatuate with or resent,

occupies space and time in your mind and run you.

You've been really infatuated with somebody,

you couldn't even get them out of your mind, you couldn't sleep at night,

you've been so resentful you couldn't sleep at night.

Those are extrinsically distracting misperceptions

that are subjectively biased, that weigh you down,

and occupy your mind and distract you

and keep you from having open-heart. It's not an unconditional state,

it's a condition here and a condition there.

Only when you have a balanced state where you have pure reflective

awareness, where what you see in them, you see in you.

You're not too proud, looking down to admit what you see in them is inside you.

And you're not too humble when you're looking up to see what you see in them is

inside you, but you have reflective awareness, where the seer,

the seeing and the seen are the same, not deflective awareness,

but reflective awareness.

In that moment when you have no desire to change you relative to them,

and no desire to change them relative to you, there's nothing to change.

It's just grace. And in that grace state, your heart opens.

I've been teaching the Breakthrough Experience,

which is one of my signature programs, for nearly 32 years.

And I've had a hundred thousand people easily go through that process.

And all the consults and all my facilitators, there's

And when we bring them into a state of equilibrium,

a state where they're not exaggerating or minimizing themselves relative to

others, or exaggerating minimizing others relative to them,

and there's the perfect reflective awareness,

and there's equanimity within them, not pride or shame,

an equity between them and the other individual they were judging, there's

a poise, there's a presence, there's an inner peace,

there's a centeredness, there's a certainty.

Because if you infatuate with somebody you're blind to the downsides,

you have no certainty, they have no certainty about that.

Same thing for the resentment. But when you're centered, there's a certainty.

When you set a goal that is aligned and congruent,

in that state you set real goals in real time with real results.

You're not exaggerating yourself, puffing yourself up,

setting unrealistic expectations on yourself, and then letting yourself down,

which is what I call depurposing.

And you're not minimizing yourself and setting too small a goals that you end up

achieving beyond, which then is a repurposing. It's a purposing.

Now, you know I rarely do a presentation without talking about values,

and that's because it's the underlying foundation for human behavior.

And what's interesting is, when you live in alignment,

congruently with what's truly highest on your values.

The thing that is most intrinsic,

the thing that you most spontaneously act on,

the thing that is most fulfilling and meaningful, most inspiring,

you have the highest probability of objectivity, reflectiveness,

even mindedness. And that's why you're most lucid,

most clear, most profoundly productive,

when you prioritize your life and live according to your highest value.

Because that highest value, which the ancients called the telos,

is the gateway from the immanent mind, which judges,

to the transcendent mind, as Imannual Kant says,

the transcendent mind that sees.

And it access whenever we are living by priority and we see both sides of

things,

and we are really objective and we have equanimity and we wake up the

transcendental super-conscious state.

We bring blood glucose and oxygen into the forebrain,

the medial prefrontal cortex, the executive center,

the telencephalon as they call it. And that is where the telos comes alive.

And that actually adds telomeres to our genes to make us live longer.

It expands space and time horizons. It awakens inspired vision.

Cause it sends signals back into the V5-V6 area of the visual associative cortex

of the brain where we see all kinds of opportunities.

We also strategically plan, which is the purpose, strategic planning,

the purpose of it is to dissolve infatuations and fantasies and prepare

for both sides, objectives, real planning, strategic planning.

Because if we have a fantasy, we're going to set ourselves up for a big

night fall, you might say, nightmare.

So the second we actually go after the thing that's really objective,

really centered, we maximize our potential and we execute them.

And what's interesting that area of the brain, the forebrain,

has fibers that go down into the amygdala,

and dampen the amplitude of the impulse and the instinct of

infatuation resentments. So we're less impulsive,

less frightened about life and more centered and poised.

So if you want to be more productive, more poised, more present,

more prioritized, more empowered,

it's simply living by highest priorities on a daily basis.

If we fill our day with high priority actions that inspire us,

it doesn't fill up with all of those distractions,

which are the infatuation resentments that distract us in the day.

Which keep us from setting goals that are effective, that are actually achieved.

We maximize our goal achievement to the degree that we are authentic.

And when we're reflective, we're authentic.

When we're living in a more equanimous state, we have more reflection.

Now think about this, when a young boy who loves his video games,

his highest value is video games. When he does video games,

he plays a video games, he conquers a video game,

he plays and plays and plays spontaneously. And the

he doesn't want to shrink, he wants to go out and take on a more advanced game.

He wants to tackle challenges.

So whenever somebody is doing something that's high on their values,

they pursue challenges that inspire them and they want to tackle new things.

They want to solve problems. They don't shrink from them. They pursue them.

A sign of leadership, a sign of true emergence, a sign of authenticity,

is a willingness to embrace challenges that humanity has and

actually look forward to tackle them, and solve them. Yesterday

I was on with Mr. Kramer,

who's on a television show in finance and also Peter Diamandis,

and also Anousheh Ansari and a few others.

And they were talking about solving world problems.

They have the XPrize and they're attempting to solve these problems.

And they don't look to shrink from the problem they look to solve them.

And that's exactly what happens when you're living congruently,

by your highest value and you're objective and you have equanimity and you're

authentic and you set real goals with real solutions,

real strategies to solve real problems. You solve them. And the second you do,

you give yourself permission to solve something greater.

So we create a momentum building,

incrementally larger, domino effect,

where the domino gets bigger and bigger and bigger and knocks over another

bigger domino, and we keep doing something profound to the degree that we are

authentic and reflective in awareness.

One of the reasons I teach the Demartini Method in the Breakthrough Experience,

is I want people to master the skill of having reflective awareness.

So they don't let the world on the outside,

distract them from the calling vision and inspiration and goals on the

inside. The real mission in life, the real purpose in life is your birthright.

And that's, you've made up. It's based on all of them.

And what's interesting the way the brain is set up,

every time you look down on somebody,

are too proud to admit what you see in them is inside you,

you have a disowned part.

Any time you look up at somebody and you're too humble to admit what you see in

them is inside you, you have a disowned part, all of those disowned parts,

those dismemberments,

those avoided parts within us that we are too proud or too humble to admit

we have, are voids inside us, emptiness.

And the truth is we have all those behaviors that we see in other people,

but we're just too proud or too humble to admit it.

When we finally embrace that about ourselves and

villain, we're the saints and sinner, were the virtue and vice,

we're all the above, we can have fulfillment. And what's interesting is,

these voids that we're judging that are distracting us,

are actually letting us know what our voids are,

and our purpose in life is an expression of most effective and

efficient pathway in life to fulfill those voids,

to fill them up by learning how to own all those traits.

So no matter what we do, we will be guided by our physiology,

by our psychology, by our sociology, by our theology,

back into reflective awareness where we're authentic.

I really believe that everything that's going on in your life is attempting to

get you authentic, trying to get you into the center,

trying to get you into your most powered state.

And that way you can see life on the way, not in the way.

You don't have to be a victim of some history.

You can be a master of destiny by seeing whatever's happening,

how is it helping you. One of the greatest questions you can ask yourself,

two greatest questions, is 'How is whatever's happening in my life right now,

helping me fulfill my highest value, what am I mission is?

And what is the highest priority action I can do?' You want to be able to take

command of your perceptions and take command of your motor actions.

So you have control over your perception, decisions, and actions,

and the decision of when to take command of perceptions or decisions is the key,

or actions. And you basically go in there and find out,

how is what's happening helping me fulfill my highest value?

Because then I'm most objective, most strategic, most fulfilled. And how do I,

what is the highest priority action I can do right now,

with the resources I have, what can I do right now? If I do that,

I'm most resourceful. I take myself back to my source.

My most inspiring source.

And that is the open heart.

Your heart opens the moment you equilibrate the mind.

The moment you look down on somebody, your heart closes.

The moment you look up to somebody, your heart closes.

You may get a dopamine rush. You may think you're in love with somebody,

but it's not. It's a fantasy.

And you're actually addicted to the fantasy and fearing

That's why you're jealous. That's why you're insecure.

If you're infatuated with somebody you're afraid 'Oh my god,

somebody can take them away.' Anything you fear the loss of you're infatuated,

anything you fear the gain of, you're resentful too,

but when you actually have an open heart, you're unconditional,

you allow things to come and go. You're resilient and adaptable.

You're not caught in the idea of, I gotta have it, or I gotta get away from it.

You're not an automaton reacting, like an animal. You're a human being.

So resilience and adaptability is a byproduct of a centered mind.

And that centered mind creates a centered physiology. Think about it.

You have less noise in the brain when you're centered.

And so therefore you're more clear and concise and focused on what it is you

want. And you can see it in your mind's eye. In your business,

you're less likely to be narcissistic looking down on people and missing your

customer's needs and employee's needs or less altruistically sacrificing your

profits. Or in your business you're less likely to be volatile and emotional,

which has already been proven to undermine wealth building.

You're less likely to be narcissistic or altruistic,

which is looking down on your spouse or looking up at your spouse. And instead,

you're looking across and seeing them eye for eye and heart for heart.

So it's a caring relationship instead of careless or careful.

And the same thing in leadership, you automatically wake up your leadership.

If you're centered, leaders are able to handle paradoxes,

pairs of opposites and they don't react to the pairs of opposites.

They don't avoid one and seek the other because whatever you run into you keep

running into the opposite to break that addiction. And physiologically,

your physiology and epigenetics,

master your physiology if you're centered. And you're inspired.

Why? Because you see the hidden order in the daily chaos,

whenever you're judging something, you've seen chaos. You have disorder. Why?

Because entropy, which is disorder, is the missing information that's aware,

you're not aware of. So in other words,

if you're infatuated with somebody and you're not aware of the downsides if

you're resent, not aware of the upsides,

that missing information is unconscious.

And that unconscious information is the disorder of the entropy.

And so the entropy is the arrow of time that causes you to age.

So if you're not living congruently with your highest value,

you're increasing your aging process.

You're decreasing your goals and achievements.

You're decreasing your potential in all seven areas of life.

That's why I say that you want to open your heart by filling your day with the

highest priority actions, being most resilient, most

most inspired. At the end of the day you're most resilient.

When you've really done something that's really high in your values and you

really got an amazing thing done in a day, you come home and you're more,

open-hearted, you're more adaptable. You don't tend to download.

You don't tend to take things out on people.

You don't take things out on yourself. You're loving.

So an open-heart spontaneously emerges in a perfectly equilibrated

mind. I know that,

I've been teaching the Breakthrough Experience for nearly 32 years.

I've taken hundreds of thousands people through it.

And I'm absolutely certain if you ask the right questions that equilibrate the

mind, you can open the heart.

I do it every weekend when I do the Breakthrough Experience,

I've taught thousands of people that, and it works.

And so when you do you're in the most pure and highest potential state,

most authentic state, and you set the most authentic goals.

Because if you want to achieve, you don't want to set fantasies.

You don't want to set up delusions, unrealistic expectations,

on yourself or other people.

And anytime you expect others to live in your values or expect yourself to live

in other people's values, you have futility.

But anytime you expect yourself to live according to your highest value,

and you expect others to live according to theirs,

and you help yourself and them do that, you have utility, not futility,

and you utilize your potential.

And an open heart is an expression of full potential

because you're grateful for life. At the end of your day,

if you're not grateful for your day, you didn't live by priority.

And anything you can't say thank you for is, baggage.

Anything you can say thank you for, is fuel.

So you want to make sure you document the things you're grateful for on a daily

basis, because that increases the probability of then prioritizing.

And you want to ask yourself,

what is the highest priority action I can do today? Many years ago,

I started doing that. I kept it on index cards. I wrote down,

what are the highest priority actions I can do today?

The number one thing I can do today, in this moment. And I kept record of it.

In my case, it came out research, write, travel, teach.

Those are the things that kept surfacing at the top. I teach every day.

I write every day. I research every day.

I usually travel now on zoom every day because of COVID.

But those are the things that I love doing that inspire me,

they keep me present, they reduce my aging,

allow me to have more vitality, allow me to be more present and inspired,

and it works.

And you have an open hearted life and you are grateful for your life.

So please take the time to stop and reflect.

If you have not gone on the line to my drdemartini.com and done your value

determination to determine what's really high on your values, do it today.

Go with it. It's free. It's complimentary, it's private.

Take 30 minutes of your time to go through a 13 questionnaire,

13 step questionnaire and do it and answer it honestly,

don't write down what you think the answers should be,

or supposed to be or ought to be, don't put idealisms, don't put fantasies,

write down what your life demonstrates.

And do it again a week from now and a month from now and a quarter from now,

until you're certain, 'By God, that's what my life is demonstrating'.

And then structure your life and set goals that are congruent with that.

Learn how to delegate all lower priority things that devalue you and stick to

the things that are highest in priority that inspire you.

And you will end up with more objectivity, more equanimity, more authenticity,

more inspiration, more productivity, more achievement, more goals,

and more open-heartedness. Cause you'll be open hearted to life.

Open heart to life is not conditionally making the world supposed to match your

fantasy. It's open-hearted to life, to have resilience,

to see that no matter what happens in my life, it's on the way, not in the way.

And I'm grateful.

Human will now matches what the theologians called divine will.

Determinism and indeterminism match.

Necessity and continuancy match as the great philosopher's say.

This is the great state of an open heart.

So I just wanted to take some time to go over the significance of an open heart

and how it transcends it. It's a transcendent state of mind,

a super conscious state of mind, a mindful state of mind, you might say,

it's the soul, the state of unconditional love, when you have an open heart.

And it's not something you're going to sustain 24 hours a day,

you're going to judge, you're going to get your buttons pushed.

You're going to get reactive. But stop and learn the Demartini Method,

come to the Breakthrough Experience,

learn how to use the method to ask quality questions.

Cause the quality of your life is based on the qulity of the questions you ask.

And learn how to rebalance that mind, liberate it, transcend it,

cause staying stuck in the same issue that you're judging is stagnation.

But taking it, confronting it, balancing it, seeing the order in it,

in the chaos, transcending it, going onto the next illusion, that's growth.

That's evolution.

Evolution is the kind of the building and destroying and remodeling,

like a neuroplasticity, a neurobiology

to basically redo and transform.

And so that's the thing that happens when you're in a resilient open hearted

state. Your metabolism is maximized. You have build and destroy,

anabolism catabolism, perfect metabolism,

which allows you maximum adaptation and resilience.

So I just wanted to take the time to go over that with you.

An open-heart is the key and resilience and a key to achievement,

real achievement, setting goals that really get done.

So if you take the time to just prioritize your life and focus on that,

you'll be surprised what it does for your life.

It just a little bit of effort and it makes a big return. Now,

just for those of you that have never been on,

usually every few weeks I do a program, also a webinar.

This one's about two hours long,

not just a half hour long or an hour plus some Q&A.

it's called Clarifying Your Goals to Maximize Your Achievement.

This is about how to use the executive center to clarify goals,

to know the distinction between fantasies, unrealistic expectation, delusions,

when you're not authentic and you're not open-hearted and make those

distinctions a step further.

And so please come and join me for this and let people know about it.

If you've got something out of this brief webinar,

please take the time to share it and get the message out because there are

people out there, most likely while you sat here today,

you thought of people that could have benefited from just hearing this.

I promise you these webinars are valid.

Give yourself permission to have an open heart, be authentic.

So you get to achieve more, be more, have more, do more.

And love more.

Thank you for joining me for this presentation today.

If you found value out of the presentation,

please go below and please share your comments.

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I look forward to our next presentation. Thank you so much for joining.