This week, The B-Movie Boys tackle Moron Movies, an 80-ish-minute collection of rapid-fire comedy shorts created by Len Cella, a Pennsylvania fence painter who apparently looked at a Super 8 camera and thought, “Yeah, I can make something with this.” What follows is a parade of cavemen, candy bars, hammers, turds, title cards, and jokes that sometimes land with the precision of a guided missile and sometimes crash directly into the neighbor’s house. Dave and Bryan are joined by Ryan from the Experience Grind podcast, who begins the movie wondering what the hell he’s gotten himself into and ends the episode wondering if Len Cella has fundamentally changed his life.

But somewhere between the terrible jokes and increasingly elaborate “Trash Tapes,” the conversation takes a surprisingly sincere turn. The boys dig into Cella's DIY approach, his obsession with making these tiny films, the strange journey that eventually put them in front of Johnny Carson, and the argument that Moron Movies may have been decades ahead of the modern short-form video culture we now carry around in our pockets. Then we attempt to shove all of that into the Schlockometer, because apparently even 18-second comedy sketches need to answer for their crimes.

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Len Cella
• Movie 43 (2013)
• Clerks (1994)
• Pearl (2022)
• Antichrist (2009)
• The Last Temptation of Christ (1988)
• Willem Dafoe
• Danny Bonaduce
• David Miscavige
• Johnny Carson
• Rod Serling
• Trey Parker
• Lyndon B. Johnson
• Leah Remini
• The Twilight Zone
• Saturday Night Live
• The King of Queens
• TikTok
• Vine
• The Experience Grind Podcast

Our Links:

• BMovieBoys.com
• Official Discord
• Patreon
• Facebook
• Instagram

Incoming transmission. Incoming transmission. Let's boogie.

Welcome to The B-Movie Boys. I'm Dave Michaels.

I'm Bryan Betz.

And we're joined by our buddy Ryan from the Experience Grind podcast.

Howdy.

Howdy.

I didn't know how to match your energy appropriately. That's the best I had.

I don't know. What do you mean, what energy?

What are you talking about? What energy?

This energy here.

There it is.

I'm here.

Synergy with the energy.

Would you like me to instead have Len Cella energy?

This is why, like KP, KPIV here, y' all would be the wrestlers. I'm Vince McMahon.

Is it because you walk all up or something?

No, it's only because of Jumbo and his very brutal ways.

You named your penis Jumbo?

That's good.

I named mine Lyndon. And Bryan is famously named his just Johnson. He's not a very creative person.

Yeah, famously uncreative.

Hey, moron movies.

Moron movies.

Have either of you ever seen moron movies or heard of moron movies?

Never even heard of it.

What was your reaction when I told you what more on movies was or when you learned what moron movies was?

Fear, mostly.

Terrifying.

Questioning how the hell we were we were going to talk about this, and then after watching it, I was surprisingly. I was like, you know what? I think we can handle this.

Maybe. Maybe, Ryan. What'd you think?

So, yeah, I did not hear about this either. And the way he described it is not even minute long shorts for 80 to 90 minutes. Honestly intrigued me.

That's the thing where I'm like, that's not like anything I watch Pump this into my veins. And then two skits in, I was like, what have I done?

You made a mistake. But then another 10 skits in, it comes back around.

And by the end of it, I admired the hell out of this little thing.

By the end of it, I was upset that it was over. Like, I was ready for it to be over. Like it was an off ramp type thing of like, we know the end coming and like, I was ready. This has been great.

But also I could go for another hour easy right now.

See, now that's interesting because when I was looking for information on this movie, I found that moron movies is only supposed to be like 58 minutes. And then more on movies 2 is like 40 some odd minutes.

Did we combine more on movies and I guess they combined them for the VHS into like just an 80 minute best of.

I'm fine with that if that's what we watched.

Yeah, same so I'm curious, what didn't make the list?

We saw all of moron movies and some of more moron movies.

Well, lucky us.

Okay, so there's still some more moron movies that we haven't yet to witness.

I can't wait to find them.

I can wait a little bit.

That's fine. I've been living in, like, a len sell a dream world for like, the past two days, and I cannot wait to talk about this, man.

Yeah, I've been. I've been dying to talk about Lancelot ever since Monday night.

Are we going to look at moron movies as a whole when we're trying to figure out where this is going to fall on our scientifically accurate scale?

I think that's probably the only way to do it because if you start getting into a per segment basis, it's going to get too complicated too fast.

Well, I got news for you. One by one, bitch. Let's do it.

All right.

I'm not going to do that. Are you out of your fucking mind?

That's nuts. That would be insane.

There's a lot of cavemen. There's a lot of turds. There's a lot of hammers. There's a lot of paint. There's a lot of fuck them. I'm not paying them. Which I love.

Candy bar turds.

Now you know. Now you know everything.

Yeah.

Jabs at presidents being worthless.

Yeah, he does do that. Worthless presidents.

That happens.

He also put a lot of, like, nipples on his face.

He loves wart.

He loves humor. Wart humor is high on the list.

I love wart. He loved wart.

Humor is just the highest on his list, though. He got a candy bar one day and he's just like, I'm going to use this thing all day.

I'm going to shoot day four to five different shorts starring this candy bar.

Candy bar is getting wrecked by the end of that.

This is a man who knows that.

They look like turds. And now I've got the key to unlock my humor.

So when you first told me about this, I thought it was going to be like a movie 43 situation. I did too, where it was a lot of different people coming in and with their shorts. I did not realize it was all gonna be one guy.

Yeah.

Super 8 camera.

You are welcome.

Oh, my God.

Also, we did it again. Because this is one of those movies that you don't realize how important it actually is.

Yeah.

Again,.

This is such a weird one though, because, like, I don't know how many people have actually even heard of this.

I mean, you summed it up pretty well. But it is just these like shorts, like little films that this guy did and his friends laughed at it. Then he made more and that was it.

Kept making them and making them and then he decided he's gonna air them and nobody came to see him. But then somebody wrote an article about it and then Letterman found out about it and just. It snowballed.

That's not what a snowball is.

Oh, okay.

Sorry. I just watched Clerks again.

I got a snowball once from Lyndon B. Johnson. Do not recommend.

Millen Burrell's got a famously big Hollywood dick.

Apparently. This is. I. I only saw this in Saturday Night Live and didn't know anything other than Milton.

Sketch. Sketch.

They did skitchin. Is it. Was it Willem Dafoe who was in Pearl?

Willem Dafoe, also famously large penis.

Yeah.

Is that true?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. And if it's not that he has the energy for it. That's good enough.

I saw it in Antichrist. I didn't think it was that big.

Did you see him in the Last Passion of the Christ? Huge. Oh, no, that was Jesus Day. That's totally different thing.

So I'm doing right now looking up some Jesus dick.

Jesus dick. Yeah, Google that. See what that brings you.

No problem.

What is this Henta? It says I'm kicked off of the Internet now.

I don't know what I your Internet for forever reason. You know what you did.

This guy needs Jesus. Oh, not like that.

Not like that. No one needs it like that.

Not even Mary Magdalene.

Not unless you pay.

You don't think you get a son of God discount?

How are we going to score this thing? It's breaking my brain.

I don't know. I think we just take it as a whole because most of our categories work for this, right?

I think everyone does shoehorn everything in one way or another. So we're gonna find out how B of a movie is with the schlockometer and we're gonna start off with the Audacity.

And normally this is the part where I say but first let me tell you the story about moron movies. But you just have to watch it. You just have to go see it with your own eyes. The best we could do is summarize it a little bit.

It's man who made Shorts on a Super 8 camera. That was it. That Some of them were funny. It's like an anti comedy. He knew exactly what he was doing.

Mm.

Are we sure he did?

I 150% believe that this man did.

Yep.

All right, this movie, written, directed, starring Phil, Set decorator, everything. It's Len Cella. It's a man named Len Cella.

He's a fence painter from Brumal, Pennsylvania, outside of Philadelphia, and he just made these little short quote unquote films for his friends, and they laughed, and then he made more, and they laughed.

I read that the average film, the average sketch in this is 18 seconds,.

And three of those seconds are probably the title card. I have to bet.

Oh, yeah. That the blue, the tilted burned into my memory now. Just that title card style.

I bet you could do that with a podcast.

Oh, yeah.

In fact, I'll prove it. Oh, these are trash tapes. For the first trash tape, this is called. Yeah, man.

Stop it. You just absolutely nailed the tone of this for our listening audience. Dave just pulled out a Tupperware full of. What's that? Ziti?

Yeah.

Took a bite, and then you heard what happened after that.

They're not hard to make.

No, it's very much, you know, first thought, dad joke level kind of thing.

I completely agree, which is why this trash tape is called Talking to Cheese.

Davis. Opening a craft single. Looking at it, inspecting it.

Nah,.

The trash tapes we've done, we have our own. Our own moron movies.

You're welcome.

It's funny because tapes works both ways. It could be film, but it could also be audio.

I told you, it's not that hard to make.

Yeah, it seems like you put some.

Thought into this, which is why this third trash tape is called. Hey, look, there's two different types of cheese.

Dave is opening a string cheese now. Oh. And he's wrapping it in the Kraft single. I do this all the time. I'm not gonna lie.

That's two different types of cheese.

I love it.

Trash tapes. And scene. I'm curious how many more of these you have planned, but I also don't want to know. Oh.

I'm not saying anything.

Okay. All right.

You just let me know that I own you right now, because now you're gonna be on pins and needles the whole time.

Yeah. Just waiting for. No.

And you don't even know when it's coming.

Dave "Len Cella" Michaels is gonna.

Don't joke. That'd be the greatest name ever. I'm not a religious man. This movie made me almost religious.

Willem Defoe's in Last Temptation of Christ made me a religious man. Literally 2 minutes ago when I looked it up.

Should we describe for the listeners what Lenella looks like?

He looks like a man who lives in Pennsylvania.

That's actually a great description. He's like a 40something white man with those giant glasses from the 80s, you know the ones. And he's always just a little bit too close to the camera.

He's got all sorts of different color backdrops, which I love.

He does have many painted rooms for what I'm assuming is his divorce trailer. It is actually kind of surprising.

It is actually an upstairs apartment.

Okay.

Yeah. I actually I went and I watched the 20 minute short film documentary question mark about. About King Dong. That's called. Yeah, that's the one.

King Dong.

I saw it. I did not watch it.

It's only learned 23 minutes long. But they show you his house.

So wait, he. He still lives there now?

Well, not now, but a couple years ago. Yeah.

We've sadly lost Len Cella recently.

Yeah.

Oh, I didn't know it was Christmas Eve.

People are still saying it might have been Santa Claus. Could have been a rain.

They got him.

Yeah.

Len Cella got run over by a reindeer.

Reindeer.

What's the audacity in this with it?

The audacity. This is a fascinating thing because like this is before the advent of Internet and short form video of this type.

Like this is very vine tick tock coded, but from the mid-80s and not even a lot of people had the technology to make these.

Yeah.

So he's kind of a pioneer and I feel like that makes this incredibly audacious.

This is a biggie.

Nobody's ever made movies like this.

No one had. And then it took him another 30 years to do it. And then way ahead of time. He completely captured modern day scrolling culture with these things.

Yeah, it's the same thing.

It really is. And like the callbacks he does to other skits, it's just, it's.

He's so far ahead of his time, it's crazy.

He is.

This keeps happening.

Is this all B movies is just people doing things that nobody else has done?

It kind of is. I keep saying, like, there's a reason why these movies are still around. They did something that was significant enough to last till today.

There are so many movies that you will never ever hear of ever again because they're dog shit. And they didn't do anything special.

This is dog shit. But it did something special.

Yes.

But it was like purposeful dog shit. This was like feeding your dog a really well balanced meal and taking it for its scheduled walk in the morning. And it looking at you and go, hold on.

This trash tape is called what your dog says while it's pooping. I don't watch you. You have a door. This is absurd. I'm just outside. Everyone watching. Janet doesn't love you.

Wasn't ready for that last line. The format works better when the jokes don't land. It's a crazy thing.

I think the crazier thing is that it still is set up in punchline, but it's like that stupid title card. It just puts you in such an odd mindset of like, okay, I'm thinking about caveman. That's just a man lying with a wig on and the camera's too close.

Okay.

All right. Yep. Oh, another caveman sketch. Here we go.

The title cards do so much heavy lifting.

Big time here. Big time.

They are so important. It's like the exposition dump in two seconds. At the start of everything, you're basically.

Saying, it's like that cool part in Twilight Zone. Rod Serling talks and he starts, like, just laying out what's about to happen, but.

Without him.

Ready? Because he's an efficient writer. Like, oh, no.

Before he was a fence painter, he was a writer. He's trying to write a novel and failed multiple times. And then he started painting fences.

He didn't fail multiple times. He just found a whole bunch of ways that didn't work.

Yeah, that's right. He just never wrote a full book. No.

So he went to paint defense about it.

He did eventually get a book.

He did out there eventually.

Right.

He got a book on the popularity of moron movies via. Was it Carson?

I think so.

Did I say letter earlier?

It's a joke book or a parody book or something to worry about when.

You run out of things to wear. Something along those lines.

That's it. That's it.

Yeah.

About paranoias and things to worry about.

In case you run out.

This trash tape is called Gravity.

Dave just dropped a can on his.

Head, but it was out of frame, so we only heard the thud but didn't actually confirm the C. Doesn't matter.

Who's absolute cinema. Absolute p. Audacity. I think it's a 10.

I think it's an 11.

Honestly, you're both right.

We do not do this dare.

Don't you cop out.

How many times do you get bonus points to get that 11?

Very rarely. Except last week.

I. Yeah. Last week was pretty high.

Last week we gave four elevens.

Yeah. As we should have.

I think it's the only time we've ever given more than one. And that's not true because, basket case, we gave three elevens.

Just want to update everybody. The can wasn't empty, and I'm learning that now.

It sounded empty.

The floor will disagree because now it just smells like a very lengthy beverage.

Was that grapefruit and regret?

Grapefruit and regret sounds very much like a student film.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That is not the kind of fruit that Len Cella is grabbing. He's going for something a little lower.

God damn. Well done.

Oh, God. But is he?

I think.

Yeah, I do. I think the fruit is low hanging, but I think it's in the execution that it shifts.

I don't know if it's going for low hanging, though, because not all of them land. But I also think they're not all supposed to land.

That's the fascinating part to me.

Yeah.

Because I think he thinks all of these land.

I'm not even sure this is the anti comedy.

I think he workshopped this over years with his friends group and picked out the ones he thought was funniest. I'm sure there are hundreds that he scrapped because they weren't funny enough.

You're saying there's a director's cut that's probably in, like, a coal mine because it's Pennsylvania.

Yeah.

This is very exciting. What's next? Heart. After we put an 11 down for audacity.

After we. After we put down the 11 for audacity. I, I. Fine. I agree. Yeah.

Heart led sell it makes this thing by himself. Everything's him. There's literally no one else does it in Brumal, Pennsylvania, outside of Philadelphia.

Do you want to hear about some other people who are from Brumal, Pennsylvania?

Of course I do.

Not really. Oh, yes.

This was one of those. It's shocking going through the list. Danny Bonaduce.

Good start.

Unsurprising.

Then Len Cella. I'm skipping a few people because I just haven't heard of them. That's fine.

Not famous enough for Dave. Not famous enough for the podcast.

I don't really need to read any of these other people. I'm just gonna go right to the one that blew my mind, and it was David Miscavige, the leader of the Church of Scientology.

Well, now there's an interesting cross section of society right there, huh? Danny Bonaduce, Len Cella, leader of the Church of Scientology.

There's something there. There is. There Is a connection that I can't see.

I'm not prepared to unravel that.

I'm seeing it. I'm starting to see the matrix.

There's also a man named Carl Gugujian. He's a criminal known as the Friday Night Bank Robbery. Robbed more than 50 banks over a 30 year period for a total of more than $2 million.

30 Years to get $2 million.

Nearly served. 17 Year sentence for armed robbery. It's not too bad.

Especially because, like, it sounds like he was only doing them Friday nights. How did it take him so long to catch him?

Oh, I lied. He got 115. No, because then it got reduced to 17 years because our legal system's. That's right.

Oh, yeah.

You're saying they chopped 98 years off his sentence?

Yeah.

Nice.

I don't. I don't understand how it all works anymore. It's not. We're not gonna do that.

Let me see a white man.

The answer is yes, by the way.

I knew the answer before I asked.

I don't want to try it. Heart.

He did it all.

He did it all.

There's no reason to not do it if you. You're not doing it for the love of the game. There's no reason to if you're not. Yeah.

You know, whatever number of negatives I said in that sentence, the correct amount, that many.

Nailed it.

Probably an odd number of them. I think the sentiment at the end is yes, 10.

An odd number. Evenly spaced out.

That's what they say. Are we all in agreement? And a 10 for heart?

Absolutely.

Good. Technical incompetence is the next category.

It's not high. He very much knew what he was doing.

It's interesting because, like, there's some weird stuff with some of his framing. His lighting is awful. It's hard to say how much of that's intentional, though.

Yeah, it's intentionally lo fi. Like, that is kind of the point of all of it.

Be lo fi, but he purposely made the choice to mostly use a static camera and not cut.

I think all of the props, too, in the very, very, like, try. What's the opposite of try hard? Try little. The. The try little props kind of speak to, like, the lo fi aesthetic.

Like, I think it's all intentionally underdone.

I get the impression that he came up with ideas and needed to execute them as soon as possible before he forgot them. And that's why your props are so haphazardly assembled, maybe.

And they are Assembled. They're just crafts that he's making on us.

Like there's one called the shy bra salesman where he's standing behind a tree and he's just dangling out a pair of paper cups, like Dixie cups that he just tied a string to. Why? To make it vaguely look like weird cup shaped boobs.

But he could have just gotten cup literal.

I got it. Art.

He couldn't.

Could have just got a bra. He went the extra mile from making his own thing. Heart.

Who could have he gotten a bra from?

Oh wait, we're in technical incompetence. That's so like way more. He's, he's trying. He's doing something.

Because this man has a single. He's got a twin bed.

He does have a twin bed. And his maid. He made it.

Yeah, it is. It is definitely made. He still makes it, by the way. By the time of the filming of King Dong makes his twin size bed.

But his apartment is completely covered in like artwork and stuff that he's done. All of the furniture stuff he's built. It's impressive. The man is a craftsman.

Interesting.

I'm gonna go with a seven and an artist. For technical incompetence. He went with the means that he had. But also he knew exactly what he was doing.

I think that's very fair.

Yeah. 7. Low budget ingenuity.

Oh baby, here we go.

Another one. He did what he could with what he had and he made it work.

Yeah, he did. It's kind of like if you have a craft single and you also have a string cheese. A string cheese that you don't even string.

It's kind of like eating a Kit Kat.

Just rarely do without snagging that.

You just go for it.

I've had that exact snack recently.

I have never thought to do this, but I'm going to.

Don't. You're gonna get looks because you're gonna be a monster for doing that. Especially if you do like the four. Like don't even do the two.

If you do the two. Fine, fine. That's fine. Do the four. Like the bigger one.

Are you. Wait, hold up a minute. Are you talking about sticking a whole four piece KitKat in your mouth?

No, I'm saying take a big like shark bite right out of the middle of it so you get a little bit one of it right across. Yeah, exactly.

That's crazy. I was talking about the, the cheese wrapped on cheese and like I've never tried that. I'm going to do that. But.

Oh, I'll also like Shove a whole Kit Kat in my mouth. Sure, why not?

I was confused. I thought there was a version of that with four cheeses. And I was like, there could be more.

I see your full size. And I raised.

I don't have any more cheese around me, though.

In.

Oh, yeah. So we're not going to get a. There's four kinds of cheeses. Trash tape. Four.

Jesus for Jesus. William Defo for Jesus for Jesus.

Okay, so low budget ingenuity. We talked about the title cards doing a lot of the heavy lifting here, and I think that is part of this. This low budget ingenuity.

His setups are being done the most lo fi way possible. He's putting letters on a backdrop and shooting it.

And if you miss the setup, a lot of times the joke does not land or you have to, like, really work backwards to figure out what's happening.

We have a thing in our Monday night movie Madness where we try to supply a little bit of commentary, but this is so rapid fire that I was writing stuff and missing the setups. And then I was like, oh, no, what was that one? I did go back and watch a couple of them separately.

Just because you missed them. You're dedicated. I. I even ran up to the bathroom in the middle of it. I went, surely, I'm not going to miss anything.

And then you ended up missing what happened.

Yeah, so I missed turds and cavemen and hammers. Got it.

Probably. Yeah. Probably some sort of frying pan with something bolted to it.

Genius.

Genius.

Whatever.

Category. I'll just give it a 10.

Go ahead.

I don't know what we're on. It doesn't matter at this point.

Low budget ingenuity.

Nailed it. It's absolutely no budget. We are flirting with 11. Big guy. Do it if you want.

Jesus Christ.

Yep.

Genre exploitation.

What genre?

What genre are we talking about here?

He exploited them all.

I. Yeah. I don't know. What is this?

For these.

What even is this?

This isn't a genre at all.

This is just.

It's comedy.

No.

Yeah.

This is a clip show. Yeah.

I. I don't got much for this one. Maybe two. That's with an I like it. Damn it in there.

Yeah. I'm trying to figure out what kind of exploitation is happening here, but it's all kind of original bits.

Yeah, it really is.

Yeah.

We're gonna punish him for his originality. Mm.

The first clip we saw was. I don't remember what the title was. Doesn't matter. He just took crackers, the plastic container and put a drill through it.

What an opener.

Just brushed it up. That was the first one.

Picked up a scoop with a spoon and.

Yeah, why not?

Hey, welcome to moron movies.

Right away.

Yeah, they didn't oversell it.

I think two is fair.

Two for genre exploration.

It's probably low. It's real low. I don't. I don't think we're leaning on exploitation trappings here at all. He's just doing his own. That makes him, like.

He did a murder detective thing and. And he wore detective hat.

That's true.

Exploited the. Out of that.

Hold on. Save that for memorable characters. But first we had the holy trinity, the blood, boobs and booms.

Was this zero?

No, it was not zero, because the. The boobs category. At one point, his whole head is a boob.

That is true.

Okay, do asses, which is the same as a wart head, but just with one wart right in the middle.

Yeah.

Three, three, four. I like it. David. It has to go up.

We're giving it. I like it. Damn it. Bump for a full zebra dong.

There you go.

Count that as a boob. Boobs just kind of encompasses all nudity, right?

Oh, yeah.

Does it, though?

I don't know. What are the rules?

I feel like it has to be proper boobs because that would be, like, really exploiting it all. And we've always said if we get, like, One of those 50s sci fi flicks and we get a boob, that's gonna be a special movie.

That is very special.

Not this one, though.

So we're given four for a mask that kind of looks like a boob. His boop, man. Next up is memorable characters.

11.

11.

That's possibly a 12.

Stop. Okay, we don't.

I'm never gonna forget Len Cella, ever.

Never ever Is Len Cella the character.

Thank you, Bryan.

Yeah, absolutely.

Because I feel like he's doing characters here.

No, I feel like he's a professional fence and house painter, and this is his way of lashing out. Like, he needs this or he needs to, like, stay level.

I feel like it's kind of like Jim carrey in the 90s. Whereas name any of the characters in the movies he was in. You can't. It's just.

Hey, Centura.

God. Except for the one with the name for the title.

God damn it.

No, no.

Hoisted Truman Burbank.

Okay, all right, all right. Okay. I rescind my comment.

Stanley Ipkiss.

God, are you looking? Did you look up Stanley Ipkiss?

Yeah.

I for sure thought Lloyd Christmas would come up because as soon as I said I was, like, dumber.

That would have been an easy one.

That's also. Yeah, yeah.

So that's a.

Now name some Len Cella characters.

Bad. Bad.

Mr.

Mean. Caveman.

Mr. Beef.

Mr. Mean.

The President. S C H I T T for President.

Oh, yeah, President.

Yep.

There was Dog Man. Was that one of them or was.

He just Warp man and Boob man, as you've already seen.

And Boob Man.

Those were men.

I don't get 200 of these things. We're still rattling off characters that you remember.

That's a lot of characters to remember in the span of that where some of them don't even land at all. And they're so forgettable, man.

I hate how much sense you're making.

Right. And there's Len himself. I guess if you're counting Len as a character, then it's huge. But I feel like Len's the creator,.

I think the actor. Yeah, that's the. That's the line in the sand. If we are counting Len Cella, I'm with you. 11.

If we are not counting Len Cella in the actual characters themselves, I think we're going lower, honestly. Probably five, because I remember them. And outside, we're counting Len Cella.

We're counting.

Any reason why?

I think you heard what you were saying and everyone else did too.

Dave heard you say the number 5.

And immediately said, no, Much too low.

We can't do that. We need to give this movie its flowers.

Never gonna forget Len Cella. Never ever.

Never ever, ever. Anytime I see a washed out single color backdrop, I'm gonna think of Lenzella.

Yeah.

And his serial killer glasses. So what did we say? 10? 11. We really do it in 11.

I'm never gonna forget this, man. And I know it's ridiculous, but.

Yeah, I'll roll.

Damn it.

I like it. Damn it. All right, 11. Next up is quotes.

There's a couple that really.

Way to go, Bob.

Way to go, Bob.

Way to go. Bob is probably my favorite one.

Yep.

Them I'm not paying is so good. And he does it a couple times.

Ah.

With the charity and the girl Scouts and. Yeah, I'm not playing them. Them.

Yeah, most of his. His gags are visual, so not a ton of quotes. Not a ton, no.

I mean, there's some little wordplay here and there. It's kind of scattered about, but it's mostly forgettable stuff.

I agree.

What. What's a number that sounds good to you, Dave? Two, three.

You stop it. You stop it right now.

Three and a Half.

I would say three or four. Somewhere in that ballpark.

All right, I'll give you a four.

Four.

A generous four.

That's a way to go, Bob. Bump.

Hey, that is a way to go, Bob. I love Way to go, Bob.

It was so good.

It's just perfectly timed every time.

It's you occurring the.

And it's a catchphrase.

Almost comes every, like, 30 minutes. I was like. Like, oh, geez, I forgot about that. That's.

Oh, yeah, another Bob. Entertainment value. This one's interesting.

I'm so curious to what you think,.

Bryan, because everything we've said so far makes this sound incredibly entertaining. Like we're glued to the screen. But then you remember that Dave said he got up and went to the bathroom and didn't miss anything.

That's totally different, though, because there's websites dedicated to when you should go to the bathroom while watching movies because they know you're not gonna miss a whole lot.

Yeah, I don't think that's what this is. It's long and it's only 83 minutes.

Felt every one of them, huh?

Oh, yeah.

It's mostly because there was five movies in each one of those minutes.

Absolutely wild. And the. The lulls, there are definite lulls where it's not funny enough to want to keep going.

It wears you down. But then he surprises you in a big, bad way.

In a big, bad way.

So entertainment value, Bryan.

I meant, like a six.

That's respectable.

Yeah.

I'm honestly a little higher.

I'm on the positive side, but, like, barely.

I'm more positive. I think this is at least a seven, and I could maybe even be topped up into an 8. I was not into this. And then I was into this.

And then when I wasn't into it, I was so curious about what was even happening that, like, my brain was firing off. Like, I was never bored. I was locked into, like, every choice Len Cella made, good or bad, and why he made these choices.

It's the kind of thing that just, like, glued me to the screen, even when it was boring. And I kind of. I'm kind of opposite of you. By the time it was done, I was like. That went by surprisingly quick for what it was.

I kept checking the clock. I get you. And it was like a good check in the clock of, like I said, know this is 82 minutes.

I know when I started this movie, there's no story to kind of gauge how long this movie is. I gotta kind of have an idea.

Yeah.

And, yeah, time was ticking it kept ticking away. It was great.

I thought so, too. I thought so, too. But I can also get somebody being bored at many parts here because there are definitely some stretches of skits that are weaker.

That is for sure.

And there's definitely some more cringy material, too.

Yeah.

This is a product of the early 80s, so in Pennsylvania. In Pennsylvania.

It's important to remember this is a.

Mid-40s man in the early 80s in Pennsylvania talking into a Super 8 camera and what he thinks is only going to be seen by his friends and family.

It kind of, kind of, kind of, kind of. We'll get there.

We have to get until it gets good enough.

We'll get there. We'll get there.

We will get there very soon.

I'm gonna go with an 8 if you're watching with people, and probably like a 5 if you're not.

I think it's very fair. I think that's. Yeah, yeah.

So like a. Like a six. Seven.

Do it. There it is. Bringing it back. Told you. If we do it enough, the kids stop. And then they did, and it's working.

Thank you, y'.

All.

But which one? Is it a six or is it a seven?

Seven.

All right, fine. Final category. Cult ability.

So we got there.

We got there. We said we're gonna get here. We got here.

Lancelot wanted people to watch this movie.

He did. He focus grouped it and picked out the best clips he could.

And then he bought a movie theater.

And then he bought a movie theater,.

And he fixed up the movie theater.

He bought the upstairs of a movie theater.

Still counts.

It counts. They had a screen and seats that no one filled.

No, seven people, the first four screens.

But it got attention from the right people. There's an article written about it, and then other people started writing articles about it and talking to him. And then it got aired on Carson.

And then he was doing theaters in Philly, and it became a regular thing. And he was selling out theaters in Philly for four years.

To be a comedian on Johnny Carson in the 80s, huge. They don't get much bigger than that. And Johnny Carson found this movies, and he would just play like, five or six of them in a clip. That was it.

And he did it for, like, three years.

And he would even lead into it with names of clips he wasn't gonna show, and those got laughs.

That's enormous.

That said, nobody's talking about this movie anymore.

No one knows about this movie.

It fell off so hard so fast.

It did. And yet most of the content that we consume today the bones of it.

Yeah.

Are from this movie.

Yeah. This movie kind of became its own thing through the VHS rental circuit where people were like, what's that?

And then word of mouth after that when people are like, if I had people coming over, I would go rent more on movies so I could show it to them. Like, you got to see this. It's wild.

I am absolutely showing this movie to people.

People, 100%. You kind of have to.

Cult ability.

We're the keepers of the knowledge now, and we need to share it.

Is that how it works?

That's how the cult spreads. Right.

If you sell it out theaters in Philadelphia because of that, that's pretty incredible.

That is.

It's an 8 or a 9 for me.

You have to get the right audience for this one.

You do. But no one is talking about this. And you're absolutely right about that. But then again, if it's hard to find stuff, who. Who are. Yeah, it's.

There's no information about this movie. It's just not out there. And like, Len Cella sometimes did interviews, didn't talk much about it was just kind of a cool guy.

Yeah.

That was it.

Even watching the. The King Dong stuff. It was supposed to be about him making more on movies. And the whole thing is just about him. Like, I don't know, man.

Just make stuff. I'm making art. And if you don't make all of it, what are you doing?

That's it, though. That's it.

Then he sang Hallelujah.

Why not?

He sings a lot.

It's the weirdest, weirdest short film documentary I've seen in a while.

I'm going with seven. Cultability.

I think seven's fair.

Yeah. Yeah.

I think I agree with that.

It's either a seven or it's a ten.

Yeah. There's nothing in between. That's the crazy thing about it, that when you talk cultability, the people that do know about it talk about it.

It's got its people. And frankly, like, you saw the comedy.

That's.

And not a lot off of this.

It's a small cult, especially when you compare it to other cults that formed in the same town in the same time.

Ms. Cabbage's movies.

Isn't his wife still missing? I'm pretty sure she is. Ryan's search history is going to be just.

It's. It's fucked.

Just red flags everywhere.

The government is watching me. They found her.

Oh, that's boring.

It is really worse.

They just found her.

That's not what you want to hear when it comes to scumbags like you want them to be lost.

Wait, I thought she went missing again recent, more recently.

How do you go missing twice like that?

Is that right?

It's not that she's gone missing, it's just that she hasn't been seen publicly in like five years or something.

Five years? That's like 30 Mitch McConnell's.

I might be. I might be getting the details wrong on it.

Nobody seen her for almost 20 years.

So has she actually been confirmed alive?

The police said so, but I guess like, you know.

Oh, never mind then.

Oh, the police don't.

Let's all stop looking.

Never ever.

Don't worry, we know we saw her 13 years ago, Pennsylvania time.

She's definitely.

That's like last week.

Yeah, it's 7, 7, 7. Also, we should note that Scientology is not a cult. Please don't sue us.

Not a religion either. Fire away.

Please, please don't sue us.

If you had to pick a fight with, with either them or let's say like the Mormons, who would you rather go against?

I feel like Mormons would be easier to fight.

Oh, you think so?

I disagree. Yeah.

Oh, I thought the other way.

Yeah, same. I'm the other way. I've heard so many stories. I know like Scientology is like really threatening once you get in there.

But like the Mormons fuck with people in Utah and like there's so many on the police force and. Yeah, I don't know, there's a lot of corruption. Also, aren't the Mormons part of like the Lego scandal that's just happening recently?

Yeah, the. The bricks and minifig thing.

Yeah, yeah. So I don't know. I think it's better to. With Scientologists than Mormons.

I don't know. Scientology's got deep pockets, a lot of influence.

But that said, Trey Parker, bigger scale, did make a whole musical and play about Mormons and are fine, completely fine. And haven't been touched.

And most of them are just, like, real friendly people who have tons of kids.

I don't know.

And I could beat up kids. Aliens, not so much. But kids.

I'll fight kids. I'll fight any kid.

All right. We have a total score for moron movies. How? Because we gave it numbers for categories that it somehow fit into.

I would like to tell you what the Rotten Tomatoes are, but there are none. There's no Metacritic, obviously. IMDb. It does have a score of 5.6. And on Letterbox, it's got a 3.2.

Letterbox is higher. Because they're the true cinephiles.

There's a true.

They understand art.

Anybody rating this movie is searching it out to give it a rating.

Yeah.

And they have an agenda.

100%.

And it's either to raise or lower the rating of this movie. It's the only reason to rate it.

I know what side I'm on.

Mm.

I think I do too. You tried to give it, what, three or four elevens and one twelve?

Yeah. But I want this movie to be lower on the. On the tomatometer. That's how you. You don't want it to fall in the middle. That's when they get forgotten.

That's true. Everybody cares about who's the best and who's the worst. The middle. Who cares?

Who cares?

This has been a commentary about America's disappearing middle class.

Gone. Completely gone. Don't go looking for it, folks.

73, By the way. 73 Is the score we gave to moron movies.

Wow.

Yeah.

I don't know if that's higher or lower than I thought it would be.

It sounds like it's dead on.

Then I feel like it's pretty right. It's pretty right.

I'm satisfied with that.

I'm satisfied with all of this. This was fantastic. I love moron movies so much.

And fascinating journey into the mind of one man who was way ahead of his time.

Also, just the spirit to not give up. I feel like by moron movie number 50, I would been like, what am I doing with my life? And I would have walked away. I would have questioned it.

He did not question. He was committed.

Just kept making movies.

He didn't have anything else. All he had was painting fences.

Didn't have a wife to come home to.

Didn't have a wife, period.

Maybe never was married anymore.

Never married.

What? This is surprising to me. That's actually news. Okay.

This is not a messy divorce, anything. This is just a man with a dream and he's gonna have that dream on his draw.

A lot of butts, but a very specific tight kind of butt. Not an amoeba butt.

Can't be an amoeba butt. Can't be amoeba good butt.

I'm like almost sad to say that that's been more on movies. We need more.

It is a little sad to see it go. But we do know that there are.

More on movies and they're appropriately called More on movies. Why mess with perfection?

You got the perfect naming convention. Use it. So what are we talking about next then?

I think that's a question we gotta ask a robot and he's going to pick the movie for us because I don't even know how you follow that up.

Now.

I do. Three martial arts students search for the Golden Ninja Warrior, a statue reputed to have magic powers. I hope you're ready for this one.

Oh,.

Fantastic.

I love it.

Written, directed, edited by Godfrey Ho.

Okay.

The multi hyphenates. Nothing's ever gone wrong there.

No, we have. Case in point, more on movies.

Movies.

Well, that's exciting.

Next week, Ninja Terminator.

Until then, be sure to rate Review. Subscribe Share.

Hey, this trash tape is called Ninja Terminator. Hey, did I leave my wallet at the sushi place? I told you I'd be back.

It seems like you didn't know which action.

I think I chose the right one. I think I chose the correct one all around.

I think you did it. Yeah.

Skirted through it.

Rate, Review, Subscribe, Share with your friends. Share with your enemies. Join us on Patreon patreon.com/macguffinstudios that's Mac like the burger. Guffin like a muffin.

And you will find all of our exclusive content. We just did a Spider-Man: Brand New Day recap. We did whatever we just talked about with presidents that may or may not ever get released. Who knows?

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But we do screenings and we do commentary kind of while we're watching the screenings. So you have a friend to watch with makes it a lot more fun. Follow us on social media @bmovieboys. Send us emails [email protected].

Speaking of friends, Ryan, thank you so much for joining us for this one.

Thank you so much for introducing me to Moron Movies. I'm happy to be here. I am. I'm honestly legit happy to have seen these. I. My life is better now that I have seen these.

Oh, he's gonna have a. A pre moron movie's life and then a post moron movie's life. That is a beautiful.

I hope it involves Ryan making more moron movies.

It kind of speaks to me. I get it. I get that kind of drive.

Len Cella, Len Cella, Len Cella, Len Cella happen if, like, we drank him.

That doesn't sound. Doesn't sound very Pennsylvania to me.

It doesn't. I'm sorry. Len Cella speaks to me as a person.

Catch Ryan on the Experience Grind podcast. You know how to find podcasts? Google it or whatever.

Bryan, you got anything else?

No, that is it for me.

But until then, this is a trash tape called 15 Moron Movies Piled on top of each other.

I hate it. H pronoun.