Burned by Chaos - Interview with Lise DeGuire
Calming the Chaos welcomes Lise DeGuire, who is a clinical psychologist in private practice. She is the lone surviving child of gifted, unsettled, and iconoclastic parents. After being severely burned in a fire when she was a small child , Lise spent most of her childhood in the hospital, undergoing countless surgical procedures. She is the award winning author of her memoir, Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience from a Burn Survivor. In this interview, Lise tells us about her story, and helps us learn how we can develop resilience through the chaos of life.
Lise introduces herself and states her goal, which is to help people have “resilient and beautiful lives” after trauma
3:37: Lise describes her story, beginning October of 1967 – A family Barbeque gone wrong, resulting in Lise having 65% of her 5-year-old body covered by 3rd degree burns. “I was hideous.”
A long and incredibly painful journey of recovery from burn care followed through Lise’s childhood
5:21: There were many sources of chaos that came from the fire, and her family
6:01: Lise describes her parents as “Iconoclastic” and presents the definition here. She also describes the love she has for her brother. “He was my best parent.”
Chaos happened from all sorts of different perspectives that day, and beyond
8:30: Lise has been through a lot of chaos…and…she has survived! Her book was written to deliver that message to everyone in the world who has been through horrendous trauma such as she has:
• Neglectful Parents
• Bullied
• Years of medical trauma, being alone and scared
• Multiple untimely deaths in her family due to suicide
9:18: “And yet here I am, many decades later. And I have the kind of life that most people would be like, ‘I’d like her life!’”
9:56: Lise describes some steps people can take to move through tragic times with limited resources
• Having the hope that you can recover, it can get better and things can turn out okay
• Pain is inevitable….suffering is optional
• Finding resources other than parents (brother, grandparents, friends, plastic surgeon) to help
• Love is in the world….you just need to look around for it
12:02: Lise shares her memories of the burn incident, including parental neglect, invalidation and pain
14:25: The origins of the “Flashback Girl” Book “It was my nickname, and I didn’t know it.” The burn picture of her as a girl was on the Internet!
16:26: Lise explains the writing of her book. “I knew I would write my memoir, but I had to wait until my parents were both dead.”
First Memories of chaos
1. The felt experience in going through the physical treatment and pain of burns
2. The dissolution of my family
18:47: Here’s how Lise found the “seeds of resilience” within herself at an early age..and… was able to help them grow, with the help of others, and therapy. She also credits herself as being gifted with “reasonably intelligent,” which helped her out.
21:03: Making it through school. “It was really hard.”
“I was the most hideous child you had ever seen, and kids could be quite cruel.”
It was the strangers who didn’t really know her that were the most hurtful.
24:06: How Lise found Resilience: GOALS + M&M
• Gratitude
• Optimism
• Active Coping
• Love
• Social Skills
• Meaning Making
28:23: Lise takes you through her Website at www.lisedeguire.com and her book, “Flashback Girl”
Awards:
2020 Nautalis
2021 Next Generation
2021 Living Now Book Award – Silver
30:34: We talk about the audio version of her book. “It’s my oldest daughter who narrates the book.”
Check out her Blog, and professional speaking engagements with her riveting topics, such as bullying, suicide, burn survival, trauma and more!
Website: https://www.lisedeguire.com/
Book Links:
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Flashback-Girl-Lessons-Resilience-Survivor/dp/1734932007/ref=sr_1_1?crid=5TDD7IN26HRW&keywords=flashback+girl&qid=1637625516&sprefix=flashback+g%2Caps%2C166&sr=8-1
Barnes and Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/flashback-girl-lise-deguire/1137501586?ean=9781734932003
Social Media:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-lise-deguire/
Twitter: @DrLiseDeguire
Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/drlisedeguire6/?hl=en
