*apologies if you got the version of this file with the glitch on Beck's voice around 5 minute in--it's very brief*

This episode has ghost stories, giggle fits, and get off our lawn! Is that a funeral or just a midwest homecoming?

Remember to join our Ko-Fi if you'd like to financially support us and get access to the Halloween private watch party. https://ko-fi.com/queernecks

Subscribe the our Youtube so you'll be ready for the Halloween Live pre-show! https://www.youtube.com/@QUEERNECK

Subscribe to the newsletter for extra content and event updates: https://substack.com/@queernecks

#queer #appalachia #rural

Welcome to Queer Next, the podcast that

puts the Yee Hall in y'all means hall.

2

I'm your host, Beck, and I'm your host.

3

Dash.

4

Welcome to today's episode.

5

what I thought was a funeral

possession turned out to be

6

the high school's homecoming.

7

Because it was so quiet.

8

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: How

close do you live to the school?

9

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: I'm

across the street from it.

10

Uh, although maybe the

game doesn't, I don't know.

11

It was really weird.

12

And then they turned and

came straight down my street.

13

and that's how I saw that it was a parade.

14

It wasn't parade.

15

It was, um,

16

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: A

17

gathering.

18

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241:

a polite gathering that all

19

drove down one street together.

20

There was the, the ambulance and fire

trucks had, there were sirens going.

21

And, um, it was just the one

convertible with the, I guess

22

homecoming king and queen sitting in it.

23

And that very clear signifier is

the only reason I put together

24

what it was the most solemn affair.

25

And then, but since I was home, I went

outside on the porch and I was gonna,

26

you know, stand and clap and cheer and

stuff as they, I assumed there was more

27

to, to come by and I don't think that

that's what I was supposed to do because

28

every, like, even the people driving

by and like the fire trucks and stuff,

29

they just kind of looked at me really

funny, like kind of cross-eyed and I

30

was like, I'm doing something wrong.

31

And I don't know what it is,

32

What's my motivation in this scene

33

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: That's funny.

34

I used to live right near a

high school too, and their

35

marching band drove me crazy.

36

They would practice at

seven 30 in the mor.

37

I love a good marching band.

38

I really do.

39

Like I have been to band

competitions for fun.

40

You know, I was in the marching

band, I was in the flag court.

41

I love a, can kiss my ass at

seven 30 in the morning, is

42

all I have to say about that.

43

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: like what?

44

Masochist came up with that.

45

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Right in a

residential neighborhood, and it would've

46

been different if they, like they faced

my house so all of their little horns

47

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: I'm picturing

48

them just like lining up down the sidewalk

with their tubas and whatnots aimed

49

directly at

50

your window.

51

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: That's

what it felt like because they were

52

like half a block away.

53

Oh,

54

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241:

fuck you in particular.

55

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: for real.

56

You could hear 'em in the living

room when they would practice.

57

I mean, we were that close.

58

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: I, I hear

everything that happens in this town,

59

so I'm kind of, I'm glad it's a ghost

town because there's no, there's, it's

60

not like there's topography or trees

or anything to, to bust up the sound.

61

If, if a thing occurs, everyone

in town knows about it.

62

I don't know who it is, but there is

a, sounds like a young person like a

63

young adult, not a child, not a retiree.

64

Not even somebody my age.

65

Like someone sounded like, it

sounded like some frat boy shit.

66

Somebody was out woo hooing at

like midnight, one in the morning

67

and I was like, who let you out?

68

I didn't, I did not know we had your

kind here in this quaint little township

69

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: It's crazy what

beer and cheese curds will do to you.

70

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241:

Have you had cheese curds?

71

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: I have,

72

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241:

Oh, there are lit.

73

Lit.

74

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: I like

to, when they're fried, I mean, I

75

don't know if there's any other way

to have 'em, but they're delicious.

76

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: I assumed

they were all fried, but then you

77

saying that makes me realize I don't

really know what makes a cheese curd.

78

Is the curd, the cheese?

79

Is that redundant?

80

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: I don't know.

81

I just know they're delicious.

82

I

83

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: they

got those at my gas station.

84

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: yum.

85

They're just little cheesy nuggets.

86

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241:

I socialized this week.

87

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Wow.

88

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: know,

89

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: So your lesson

on making friends last week helped.

90

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: you know, uh,

me, me and like these, to be a functioning

91

member of society classes that I take

every day, just like taking notes.

92

Literally, I'm, I got no shame.

93

I'm like, teach me daddy,

I'm missing something.

94

Somewhere along the way,

something never computed for me.

95

but yeah, it was a work party.

96

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Nice.

97

How was

98

that?

99

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: it wasn't bad.

100

I mean, I was.

101

Wildly anxious.

102

And it, when I say party, I mean,

just revisit the story I just

103

told about the homecoming parade.

104

You know, this was 10 dead sober

people sitting around in an empty

105

bar with, some good music playing.

106

There's a, a coworker who has a great

collection of, vinyl and their way

107

of socializing is to be in the DJ

booth, and it's always a great vibe.

108

and people were really nice.

109

when you're, when you're out for

something that you kind of feel bad

110

about, like not being able to fix,

you know, already, I think your brain

111

can lie to you a little bit about what

other people are thinking about you.

112

Like, they're like, you're a slacker.

113

You're not holding up your end of

the, you know, work or whatever.

114

And I knew that they didn't actually

think that, but you know, going

115

there got, gave me some direct proof

that, they just like me and they

116

hope that I'm getting help and stuff.

117

But it was a lot of work.

118

Just the, the way my anxiety

works now, like my, my ticks and

119

like hand my rituals and things

have really gotten outta control.

120

And I was just like, I can't sit

still while we're doing this.

121

And nobody was standing up mingling.

122

So you can't do the whole like, hillbilly,

lean or whatever to, I think that's that.

123

I think that's how we, uh, deal

with social anxiety is the various

124

forms of like leaning and crouching.

125

We do.

126

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: I was

at the post office earlier and I

127

was leaning up against the table.

128

that you mentioned that.

129

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: We crouch down.

130

Have you ever seen people do that?

131

They'll be talking, especially

farmers or something.

132

They'll be standing next to each other

in the middle of nothing and something

133

serious needs to be talked about.

134

and they'll crouch down to rest and talk.

135

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: As somebody

that was a catcher, a softball catcher

136

for a long time, I know that position

is not comfortable, I don't know

137

why you would do such a thing.

138

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: they

have a way of doing it that

139

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Yeah,

140

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: I, I

guess they, it takes their weight

141

off of their back or something.

142

I don't know.

143

I just remember the old men doing it.

144

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241:

that's interesting.

145

How was your week otherwise?

146

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: um, I mean.

147

I am doing my little homework

assignments that they give me in

148

grippy Sock School, What about you?

149

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241:

It's one of those weeks that

150

you'll forget in a few days.

151

slogging through, you know,

class and class and class and

152

class and grading and email.

153

Oh my god.

154

The email, they send me so much email,

I even tell them the first day of class.

155

Don't send me email.

156

And unless it's like really

important, and then they're

157

just like, when is the midterm?

158

And I'm like, check the fucking syllabus.

159

I get, I have 137 students this semester.

160

And if every one of 'em email

me, like, that's too much.

161

I, I don't get paid enough to,

to deal with all that email

162

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Can you tell

them like, here's, here's a list of,

163

topics I will answer an email about.

164

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: no, I, I give

them the major policies and things that I

165

get a lot of emails about right up front.

166

Like, I give, like my, I tell 'em that,

that way I don't have to decide whose

167

reason is important to miss class.

168

Maybe one person is subbing their

toe, maybe the other one didn't

169

have gas money to come to class.

170

Like, I don't know.

171

It's up to you.

172

Use your five, right?

173

You don't have to email me.

174

I I don't need your, they will

email me and tell me about the

175

drama on the bath, in the bathroom

and like all of their business.

176

And IJII love 'em, but I don't care.

177

I don't,

178

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241:

So they're oversharing

179

via email.

180

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Oh yeah.

181

Big time.

182

And so, I tell 'em not to email

me and they email me anyway.

183

And then, yes, I will take your late

paper 10% off every day that it's late.

184

Right?

185

Just get it in.

186

You don't have to ask, can

I turn something in late?

187

Just do it.

188

Right?

189

Like I give them policies up front

like that, and I still get a million.

190

The ones that are on the syllabus drive

me crazy, like, when is the midterm that

191

is posted in like eight different places?

192

And I gave you a copy of the, the

freaking syllabus the first week

193

of class, you know what I mean?

194

And plus it's on canvas.

195

Like you could just click on a

few buttons and you can literally

196

download the whole thing.

197

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Mm-hmm.

198

Yeah,

199

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: One of

them emailed me the other day, um,

200

he said, first he emailed me and

said he had a fever and he didn't

201

know if he should come to class.

202

And I was like, well, you

know, that's up to you.

203

And then he emailed me yesterday and

he was like, well, I still have a,

204

um, a bit of a cough, but not a fever.

205

Should I come?

206

I'm not your mother.

207

Like, decide that on your own, honey.

208

I, I, that's not my job.

209

It's just I have a

210

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: it

211

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: that I'm

responsible for, but telling you

212

whether their cough is too serious

to come to class is not one of them.

213

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: interesting.

214

I don't think you could do, I mean, you

can't take that liability anyway, right?

215

You're not a safety officer.

216

You're not a.

217

a health and safety person?

218

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: No, I,

it's, it's wild what they tell me.

219

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: that's, I,

this is me like projecting, but maybe

220

they're more likely to communicate with

professors that they feel care about 'em.

221

'cause

222

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Right.

223

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: I bet

there's not every, I bet there's

224

plenty of professors that they're

not wanting to email all the time.

225

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Right.

226

I just wish they would realize I've

answered most of their questions already.

227

It's just there's so much of it.

228

Like one or two a week would be

fine, but I get like six emails

229

a day, you know what I mean?

230

Of random students

needing something stupid.

231

And it's like that's, that's, that's 20

minutes to a half an hour of my day of

232

just answering stupid emails, if I got

all that time back, it would be great.

233

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: I was teaching.

234

so, we sound super, get off

my lawn and, and that's fine.

235

I don't care.

236

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241:

Sometimes you have to be.

237

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: but even

though that is very clearly what, what

238

is happening here, let's be clear that

it is no one's fault that this is the

239

communication strategy they were given.

240

it is not a 17 year old's fault

that this is the way that they have

241

been, conditioned to communicate.

242

And you know, the way that they

have been taught to be a student

243

or even an independent person, the

level of independence that they

244

have, it's not their fault they

showed up to, to college like this.

245

And I remember I was

teaching, writing when.

246

the smartphone thing happened.

247

Remember that moment in time in 2009 when

all of a sudden everybody had a smartphone

248

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241:

They had a big screen.

249

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241:

that had internet capability?

250

Like they could put their email on.

251

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Yeah.

252

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: the, the

iPhone three, I think it was the

253

first one that was 2008 when it

was widely available to everyone.

254

And then just a year, 18 months

later, every single student had one.

255

And I remember noticing then how

communication changed from one school

256

year to the next, to the next year.

257

It was an entirely different,

framework set of expectations

258

for how students communicated.

259

And I was just like, what have we done?

260

There was one time, so

I taught two classes.

261

It was like English 1 0 1, right?

262

Just freshmen, and I

taught them back to back.

263

So one was at like 9 0 5 and

the next one was at 10 15.

264

And there was, a young woman in

the second class and the 10 15 1,

265

she came to class every single day.

266

She never said a word.

267

She never had the textbook with her.

268

she, she brought her phone and remember,

you know, like the Cheeto girl on,

269

um, on TikTok, this, it's just kind

of a meme and archetype of a, of a

270

certain kind of cis straight white

girl who, carried 20 keys, key chain

271

on one of those, like Vera Bradley.

272

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Right.

273

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241:

Uh, what are those called?

274

The pocketbook things with the

window for your license and stuff.

275

And they would have

276

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Clutch.

277

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: A clutch.

278

Yeah, they would have that, their

red bull and their cell phone.

279

And that was all, that was their world.

280

That's all they needed to conquer the day.

281

So that was how she rolled into class

every day she would sit down her jangly

282

ass janitor keys and she would look at me.

283

she never broke eye contact

actually while I was lecturing.

284

She was, there was nothing I could

fault her on except for just this

285

weird feeling I had that she was

not there while I was lecturing.

286

She wasn't participating.

287

She was simply waiting her turn to

get up and go to the next thing.

288

And I was like, I foresee some issues with

when it's time to start turning in papers.

289

'cause in writing class in English 1 0

1, that's it, bitch, that's your grades.

290

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Yeah,

I just taught that, so, yeah.

291

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: But the

thing that really cinched, it was

292

one day I was in my 9 0 5 class.

293

I did not have a smartphone because

I was a fucking adjunct professor.

294

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Right.

295

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: afford one.

296

I had my little flip phone.

297

so I didn't know all this had

unfolded until I got back to

298

my office and checked my email.

299

So I taught my first class,

and then I went into the second

300

class, and she wasn't there.

301

And she, she never missed class.

302

And so we went on whatever taught

class, and then I got back to my office

303

to check my email, and I've got like

just a barrage of emails from her

304

they're written in text message format.

305

And the first one just said,

are we having class today?

306

And of course I didn't answer it

because I was teaching at the time.

307

She sent it.

308

It was during the first

class that she sent this.

309

and then the next one.

310

can you reply please?

311

And then the next one, I'm in

class, where's class happening?

312

And I was like, what is going on?

313

Is she okay?

314

it just kept going that way.

315

Like, uh, I need you to reply.

316

I don't know where I'm

supposed to be and stuff.

317

She's clearly crashing out.

318

And the last one was like, well, since you

can't be bothered to reply to my email,

319

I guess I'm going to just leave class.

320

But you can't, say I wasn't here

because I was in the room and I was

321

like, you, you were in the room at

322

and I replied, and I was like, I was

teaching when you were sending these,

323

because I have a class before our class.

324

Are you okay?

325

do you need to meet and talk?

326

What's going on?

327

And she said, oh yeah, my

first class got out early.

328

And so I just, I always go to your

class after my first class, I think

329

she thought, I just live in that room

and I spawn there, like a fucking,

330

just waiting to start class

when she gets in there.

331

First of all on your cell phone, you

could have looked at the syllabus

332

where it says what time it is.

333

Like none of those things occurred

to her, but sending me 20 emails

334

freaking out about why I'm not

in class with her at that time.

335

She wasn't the only example of this.

336

She was just the most consistent.

337

And so at through throughout the

rest of that year, I was like,

338

something's different about this year.

339

That was 2010.

340

And that's now they're just all like that.

341

Not all.

342

But now that that is, that's so

common that we can't even get support

343

on how to handle it, on how to get

ahead of it, on how to negate it.

344

It is simply, that's what

students are like now.

345

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Yeah.

346

Or you'll, they'll send you an email at

like eight 30 at night and you see 'em at

347

class at noon the next day, and they're

like, why did you respond to my email?

348

Because I'm not attached to my email 24 7.

349

I'm just not,

350

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: And

if I was, I would ignore you,

351

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: yeah.

352

I mean, yeah, exactly.

353

It, it is just wild.

354

The expectations that they have.

355

Sometimes I love 'em to death.

356

Don't get me wrong.

357

I love teaching.

358

It's just some of the little

that, that come with it.

359

Every job has its irritants, I guess.

360

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Every

job does, have its irritants, and

361

I mean, working with people who are

at an entirely different stage of

362

their life as you is challenging.

363

but when you are responsible for

those people in some sort of halfway

364

removed pseudo mentor position slash

slightly parental, sometimes it just

365

gets too weird to try to figure out.

366

Because on the one hand, it's like, I want

you to understand that this is a boundary.

367

But on the other hand, I don't feel like

trying to teach you about boundaries.

368

Like I feel like that one's beyond me.

369

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: right.

370

I also had, when I taught the

English class down at Shawnee

371

State, I had a kid , he showed up

for every class, every one of them.

372

He participated.

373

He was like the, the

comedian of the class.

374

Really.

375

He was like kinda outgoing.

376

he showed up and he

talked about everything.

377

Didn't turn in a single

paper all semester.

378

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241:

Yeah, I have those too.

379

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241:

Showed up for every class.

380

No paper.

381

Not one paper.

382

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241:

Did you ask him about it?

383

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Oh, yeah.

384

He'd be like, oh, I'm,

I'm will get that one in.

385

Don't worry about it.

386

And I'd be like, okay.

387

But there's only so many

times you can ask him.

388

You know what I mean?

389

It's like not my job to hold his

hand through every, the whole thing.

390

You're either gonna do it

or you're not gonna do it.

391

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: You know, I

think that that is a healthier approach

392

than if, let's take the second round

there and say like, I'm not gonna do it.

393

the willingness to still show up to class.

394

Look the professor and your

peers in the eye knowing that

395

you haven't done your work.

396

I mean, that is preferable.

397

my response, if I knew I hadn't done

the work and knew I wasn't gonna do the

398

work, I would simply stop going to class.

399

Not just that class.

400

I would quit just in case.

401

And this is how you,

this is how OCD works.

402

Not just that class.

403

I'd have to quit going to all classes.

404

because professors might know

each other and they might go

405

like, well, he was in my class.

406

Why would, is it in your class?

407

In my mind, I was that big

of a problem for everybody.

408

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Right,

409

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: So, if

I had simply been able to show up

410

to class and give the professor

an opportunity to go, you fucked

411

up, but you can have another shot,

things could have been easier for me.

412

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: right.

413

I remember the first time that I was an

undergrad, I just barely went to class.

414

Right.

415

And I remember on two separate occasions

I tried going back to class after

416

missing a few and I was basically

laughed out of the room in both

417

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Uh, what

418

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: yeah,

419

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: by.

420

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241:

one was an English professor,

421

and, the other was a math.

422

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Hmm.

423

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: The math, I

kind of understand 'cause you move so

424

quickly through that kind of stuff.

425

But I remember the English

professor's name, I've looked

426

her up before in like hexter.

427

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: I think

the, the most extreme example of

428

like a clash with a professor I had

he was an English professor and I

429

think he thought that I was arrogant.

430

I had to glean this from him, so,

okay, so I had done that thing right

431

where I had skipped the maximum amount

of classes and then maybe a couple

432

more and he let me back into class

maybe he felt like he shouldn't have

433

done that or something, or whatever.

434

So it comes time for finals day, and this

was just a survey course, so it was one

435

of those, like all of literature from

the dawn of time to the 16 hundreds.

436

so the, final was an in-class essay

on various prompts about literature.

437

And this was my, first year.

438

And I didn't know that finals were at

a different time than regular class.

439

And so this was a 1 25 class normally.

440

so I was just gonna go to class at 1 25.

441

I was sitting up in the, dining

hall and my friends were like,

442

don't you have a final right now?

443

And I was like, well,

it's like, not till 1 25.

444

And they said, no, they're

at, they're on the hour.

445

So it started at one o'clock and

I was like, Jesus fucking Christ.

446

So I threw my food away and sprinted.

447

It was just across the quad luckily.

448

And I got in there like 20 minutes late.

449

Egregiously late to a final.

450

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Oh

451

wow.

452

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: you have two

hours to do them because they're essays.

453

so I, I ran in and I

was like, I'm so sorry.

454

And then, he gave me my test and

I sat down, wrote my essays got

455

up and handed it to him and left.

456

And he followed me out.

457

And I, thinking back, I realized like

I only spent about 30 minutes on it.

458

and I was the first one to hand it

in and I had been 20 minutes like

459

coming to class and he was offended

by that on, probably on, on top of a

460

long list of other things that he'd

been stewing over that I had done.

461

And I didn't really think about it.

462

And he had no way of knowing

that that is simply how fast

463

I write those kinds of essays.

464

but he followed me out into the

hallway and screamed at me and

465

said that I was ungrateful and Was

destined to fail and just a bunch of

466

really, really personal, mean shit.

467

and I was like, my God, what?

468

I feel like that kind of like, made

me not want to go back to classes

469

after I had fucked up even more.

470

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: for sure.

471

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: And he said

he was gonna fail me, but he couldn't.

472

because I had got an A

on the final, Mm-hmm.

473

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: If you find

one that means you were looking at

474

the readings, you know what I mean?

475

And if you don't find them and

never know about it, then you didn't

476

crack open the readings like once.

477

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: I do

that for in my syllabus, but I've

478

never done it for readings before.

479

That's, pretty smart.

480

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Yeah.

481

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Very rarely

do they find it though, in the syllabus,

482

because I don't tell 'em it's in there.

483

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: I get one

or two, uh, semester that find it.

484

Yeah.

485

I put it in the academic honesty policy.

486

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241:

Oh, that's a good spot.

487

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Yeah.

488

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Well, let's give

this wheel, what have you, a spin there.

489

There's only four little options on here.

490

you need to start

filling it back up again.

491

Okay.

492

We landed on tall tales.

493

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Tall tales.

494

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Are tall tales

part of the culture where you're from?

495

Like just now?

496

Basically that's what I was doing,

like telling a tale in a long,

497

exaggerated and dramatic way.

498

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241:

Oh yeah, especially the men.

499

My grandpa could wind a

story like nobody else.

500

My papa, I th one of my favorite

stories he ever told me, I think I

501

talked about it on the first episode.

502

He, uh, was 12.

503

he was born in like twenty one,

twenty two, somewhere in that area.

504

So in the thirties he was,

there was prohibition, right?

505

So they had stills up on the hill And,

they sent him running 'cause the law

506

was coming, the revenues were coming,

he ended up getting caught, right?

507

He was running down the road and

they ended up catching him and he

508

was shaking real hard and they put

him in handcuffs and they're like,

509

boy, what are you shaking for?

510

And he was like, I'm cold.

511

He was like, boy, it's the middle of July.

512

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: My Papa Parrot

He, he liked telling jokes that way.

513

one, this one always sticks in

my mind and every time it's,

514

it's summertime I think about it.

515

the mosquitoes were real bad one

summer, and we were sitting on

516

the, you know, on the front porch.

517

he was telling us I was trying

to go to sleep last night and the

518

mosquitoes was buzzing around.

519

he would mimic the sound.

520

He would say like, they'd

go by my head going

521

And then he, said, and I then I heard two

of them talking and they were arguing.

522

I heard one of them say, well,

should we eat him here or should we

523

take him back to the nest with us?

524

And the other one said, well, if we

carry him back to the Nest, those big

525

mosquitoes might take him away from us.

526

And I was like, how big

are the other mosquitoes?

527

So I was born at a

hospital that was haunted.

528

That became haunted, yeah.

529

this might not be true, but I believe

David was one of the last to be

530

born there before it was shut down.

531

Yeah.

532

In 82.

533

So, in, in Corbin, Kentucky, there

was a hospital and we just called it

534

the old Corbin Hospital, and it was

only functional for like 30 years.

535

They built this whole thing

for like $600,000 in the

536

fifties , and it shut down in 82.

537

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Wow.

538

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: so there

was, in high school, we would.

539

Tell stories about like, how haunted

it was and the slayings and things

540

that happened there or whatever.

541

But, the thing that I think made

it such a, a myth for us was

542

that it was never torn down.

543

It stood until, 2005.

544

Yeah, it stood until

the early two thousands.

545

So it had been shut down for.

546

20 years and just kind of rotting there.

547

And so people would go up there,

there was graffiti all over it.

548

The morgue was underwater.

549

it had obviously been broken into,

there were no lights up there because

550

it was halfway up a mountainside.

551

And we would go up there and like

dare each other to climb down into the

552

morgue and get into the water and stuff.

553

I mean, people, if you got, if you stepped

your toe or something, you'd get sepsis.

554

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Right.

555

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: but that

was one of the, we would do stuff

556

like that all the time, like go to

the haunted places and then dare

557

each other to go inside or something.

558

And so my, my mystique was always

that I was born there, cause

559

none of the other kids had been.

560

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: That's

561

really cool.

562

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: we

went up there, one night and I.

563

Was like, I think people are living here.

564

I was like, these people

just wanna be left alone.

565

We should go.

566

. beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: There

was a place, um, there was a big

567

water reservoir, in Portsmouth.

568

actually the baseball fields were up on

top of it, where I, where I played T-ball

569

and little League and stuff like that.

570

and at the base of it, there was this

really old looking house and the story

571

was that it had been a monastery.

572

and that they had shut it down.

573

Turns out years later, I found out

it was just a pump for the reservoir.

574

They built a house around it just

for aesthetics and like everybody

575

talked about how it was this, uh,

monastery for years and years.

576

That was what everybody said.

577

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: They

were there any haunted graveyards?

578

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: There's one

really creepy one with a, World War I

579

graveyard in the middle of it, like a

dedicated, there's a, a special like the

580

statue up for it and that kind of thing.

581

it's really eerie to walk through and I

used to live like a block away from it.

582

but I was always kind of chicken

shit to go into those after

583

dark,

584

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: I did, most

of my exploring of, of places like

585

that in Williamsburg because on the

mountainside or in the trailer park.

586

And so it wasn't very

easy to get anywhere.

587

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: right.

588

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: was, it

wasn't until high school where I

589

could drive and I had, some friends

who knew about, 'cause I like being

590

somebody who was from outside the area.

591

I didn't know all this local lore.

592

And so they're the ones who my friends,

Ben and Carey in particular, we would go

593

out We would try to see Mulberry Black.

594

And it's so interesting the way

those things look in your memory.

595

in my mind, I can perfectly

picture this monster,

596

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241:

I've not heard of that one.

597

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241:

it's a Williamsburg thing.

598

it's just a, it's kind of like pad

foot, in, um, Scotland and the uk and

599

so I'm sure this just comes from that

of a large black dog it's like a omen.

600

It's a bad omen or it's a harbinger,

or it could mean that the, border

601

between the living and the dead is thin.

602

so this was a huge black mountain

lion, like the size of, a small

603

car with the face of a person.

604

I don't remember how it worked.

605

There was some sort of.

606

Ritual you did, or thing you

said, or something like that.

607

And if you sat your, if you stopped your

car on the bridge, and said the right

608

words or something, then Mulberry Black

would come and walk around your car.

609

So you had to sit there with your

lights off and roll your windows down

610

and it's the middle of the woods.

611

It's some of the most fun,

like heart pounding terror.

612

you could experience, we did that

shit every weekend as soon as

613

it started to get cool outside.

614

Like we, that, that was

a favorite of ours to do.

615

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: That's

616

awesome.

617

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: yeah, but

I know for a fact I never actually

618

saw it, but in my mind's eye, I

know exactly what it looks like.

619

I can see its face, I can see this kind

of weird half human, half cat face.

620

I think that's The, like, only

crypted hunting I've actually done

621

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Yeah.

622

My only connection to the

paranormal are those ghost horses.

623

and you'll never convince me

I didn't see what I saw, so.

624

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: The mountain

could be real creepy sometimes.

625

And talking of like tall tales,

sometimes the things that we would do,

626

the, the stories you have to tell after

being somebody who grows up that way.

627

Just out like go, even if you only do

it once or twice in your childhood, you

628

can get 20 stories outta just being out

late at night in the woods somewhere.

629

I think I, I might've mentioned

this once before Mom and dad, they

630

worked crazy hours a lot of times.

631

And so, I was in charge a lot

and for a long time there.

632

Vanessa was always a good kid, but even

David was a good kid for a while there.

633

And so mostly we just had fun.

634

But I would have some

real dumb ideas sometimes.

635

And one night, I don't know whose idea

it was, but I decided that it was okay

636

to do, even if it wasn't my idea, go up

to the top of the mountain we lived on.

637

So we lived, we lived on one

side of Geico Mountain, which

638

was, is part of the Smokies.

639

and at the top of it is a big long

rock face, and we decided that it

640

would be really, really beautiful

to watch the sunset up there.

641

it's about an hour and a half hike

up there, maybe, maybe even further

642

for kids, even probably further.

643

And you can spot the flaw in

this logic from space, right?

644

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: How

645

you gonna get back?

646

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Well, it

was not easy, and we were up there

647

and it, it was like we were the dumb

characters in a movie where we just

648

were realizing our mistake in real time.

649

It didn't once occur to us on the way up.

650

And we're up there on top of this

rock face, which is really difficult

651

to climb up even with daylight.

652

Um, and sitting up there, we,

you, we could see forever, we

653

could see the Cumberland Gap from

the top of this mountainside.

654

It was, an incredible view and

we were correct that it was

655

amazing to see it at sunset.

656

And then we started to realize

that we were absolutely fucked.

657

sitting on top of this, the rock

face itself was about 50 feet,

658

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Wow.

659

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: And

those rocks are, there'll be trees

660

and stuff growing out of 'em.

661

So they were roots and stuff

for us to climb onto, but it

662

was still a sheer rock face.

663

And so we climbed down it.

664

There was still little bit of

daylight left, but by the time

665

we got down it, it was all gone.

666

And that is maybe, I don't know about

the most scared, but that it's just a

667

particular kind of scared when you know

that you are hours away from anyone who

668

can help you in woods that are so dark.

669

I'm trying to think now, like it

might be kind of a rare experience

670

to be in a place where you can put

your hand in front of your face

671

and not be able to actually see it.

672

'cause there's light everywhere now,

We always have access to light and

673

that is such a powerless feeling.

674

And I could just hear David.

675

I couldn't see him, but I could

hear him falling and screaming

676

and crying and I was just like,

I have actually, uh, murdered us.

677

There's no way we're, we're

not gonna survive this.

678

Which is not true.

679

Right.

680

If we had just stayed put.

681

And listeners, by the way, if this

ever happens to you, stay put.

682

Don't do what we did.

683

somebody will come and find you.

684

but we just decided to try

to run down the mountainside.

685

I don't know why we didn't break

every bone in our body because we

686

were just fucking ass overt kettle

rolling down this mountainside.

687

And we fell into the mine,

the quarry, there was a gravel

688

quarry, next to the mine there.

689

' beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Wow.

690

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: I was in so

much fucking trouble when I got back.

691

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Oh, I

692

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: I.

693

But they were so scared though that

they were, I don't remember if I was

694

grounded and I deserved it if I was,

but it was one of those times where

695

like they were too scared to be angry.

696

You know?

697

I cannot imagine what a parent

feels in a situation like that.

698

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Yeah.

699

It would be so scary to be a parent.

700

Like sometimes I think about one

time I was talking to my mom and I

701

was going somewhere for her, and I

was going down a stretch of highway

702

where the speed limit was 70.

703

So I was doing 75 and she

was like, don't be late.

704

And I was like, mom, I'm

going 75 miles an hour.

705

And she was like, don't tell me that.

706

you know, and I think about that.

707

It's something so random, and I

think about it all the time when

708

I'm going 80 down the highway

709

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: if you

have ever experienced that kind

710

of claustrophobic, total darkness

feeling, it's very easy to just close

711

my eyes and put myself back there.

712

And I knew I was hearing

Creatures of the Night.

713

I knew there was, because there were

mountain lions and stuff up there, so

714

I was like, they're out here hunting.

715

I know they are.

716

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: We would have

to walk from mammal's house to my house.

717

So it was just out the driveway, but it

was a good, I don't know, 10th of a mile.

718

just a gravel driveway.

719

And I'd often forget my flashlight or

whatever it was 'cause I have to walk

720

dinner out to Mammaw or whatever it was.

721

Or we'd be coming back from Christmas

and the only light there was would

722

sometimes there would be some moonlight

and you'd have to like watch where

723

you're going very carefully, there were

no streetlights out there whatsoever.

724

there's just no artificial,

there's no light pollution.

725

Where I lived, there's very little,

726

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Yeah,

there wasn't any, like there was

727

even a streetlight at the end of

down Pilot Drive where we lived, like

728

a couple of streetlights, and they

just got sucked up into the darkness.

729

It, it didn't even make a dent.

730

when we moved up to Kentucky, there

wasn't a driveway for the longest time

731

and the trailer sat real far back on

this plot of land next, um, sort of

732

next to the tree line, and we'd have to

park the, the van or whatever we drove

733

out by the road because it would get

stuck in the yard and it was not very

734

far at all, like you say, but It was

enough that a few steps in, you're like,

735

who's behind me or what's behind me?

736

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: right.

737

Yeah.

738

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: I was

convinced all the time that something

739

was watching me from the tree lines.

740

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Well, so

one time I was like 16, Or 17 maybe.

741

And I came home, I had forgot

something and so I had my

742

best friend with me, right?

743

So I pull up and I'm bebopping, we

just barrel down the driveway, got

744

the music going, whatever, right?

745

And I hop out of the car.

746

What I don't know is that my dad was

doing the walk down the driveway, right?

747

And he was, he came up over the

little hill that was the driveway.

748

And I didn't see him.

749

And so, he waited, I ran in the house and

I came back out and he was waiting on me.

750

And I like, came down the stairs and heli.

751

He had a big beard and he flipped on

the, the flashlight under his chin.

752

And he said, what are you doing?

753

I literally jumped so fast.

754

I went over and under my car.

755

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Oh man.

756

Oh, I got a good story.

757

this is when I was in the metro.

758

So the, the road we lived on was,

right down the road from Cumberland

759

Falls State Park Listeners, give us

a shout out if you have ever been

760

to Cumberland Falls State Park.

761

They called it the Niagara of the South.

762

a lot of cool things about that park, but.

763

It was pitch black on it,

never a light anywhere.

764

And I was driving my little metro probably

too fast around this curve that goes

765

right up by the exit to go down into

where the Cumberland Falls State Park

766

is, which is actually a cut really deep

into the Daniel Boone National Forest.

767

there was another car coming.

768

I could see the lights and they

were flashing their lights at

769

me warning, and I was like, oh,

this could mean a lot of things.

770

So I checked my brights and I was

like, okay, my brights aren't on.

771

I didn't see anything, so

I just kept on going and.

772

Then they're like flashing

them faster and faster at me.

773

And I was like, what is going on?

774

And then I start to hear ho honk,

they're laying on the horn and then I can

775

hear screaming and they're like, stop.

776

And I just like freaked out.

777

I was like, what is going on?

778

And so I just stopped my little like gray

pebble geo metro in the middle of 25 W.

779

And then I hear, clap, clap,

the sound of hooves on the road.

780

And through the open window, a

horse tail brushes past my face.

781

Like Itbr, it hits me with its its tail.

782

And I had stopped like a foot

away from a giant ass horse.

783

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Oh

784

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: I had been

driving at probably 60 miles an hour.

785

Couldn't see it 'cause it was black and

it had escaped from the stables there.

786

They have riding stables at the falls.

787

You can take, you know, horse,

little tours down there.

788

And so it had got out and that

if that other car hadn't been

789

there, I would not have seen it.

790

'cause my little geo metro

was not lighting up that road.

791

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Right,

792

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: I still have an

intrusive thought of that other car wasn't

793

there and I just drove smack into this.

794

I mean, what is a, what is

a full grown horse weigh?

795

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: right.

796

We almost ran into a cow

one time on a back road.

797

Came around a curve.

798

There was a cow standing

in the middle of the road.

799

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241:

How much does a horse weigh?

800

900 pounds.

801

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Wow.

802

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241:

803

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Wow.

804

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241:

would have killed me.

805

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Yeah.

806

maybe you jumped timelines.

807

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241:

maybe that's what happened.

808

Have you ever read a book

called The Ghost Eye Tree?

809

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: No.

810

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241:

This was one of our favorite

811

story books when we were kids.

812

And it was a, a, you know,

a Halloween favorite.

813

and mom, she loved, she was really

good at reading stories to us.

814

we were fortunate that

she was really literate.

815

and she would be really dramatic

and do voices and things.

816

so the horror story she was particularly

skilled at, and this book, I bought

817

a copy of it and I, I wanna get a

tattoo of it, but this was mine.

818

And, David and Vanessa's.

819

One of our favorite books ever.

820

And it is, it's about this, basically

this like phenomenon of walking

821

alone at night in a rural area.

822

And the way everything becomes

sinister, the way the trees and

823

the grass and the, the birds and

stuff, become, like a horror show.

824

And it conjures this feeling.

825

And it's just some kids, like you

were saying, carrying uh, the pals

826

of milk down you have to do it.

827

It's somebody's job to do it,

and you have to do it, but

828

it's the scariest damn thing.

829

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Yeah.

830

I didn't like being sent

dinner when it was dark out.

831

Oh.

832

I hated doing that because I, I had

seen snakes in the driveway before.

833

Right.

834

And like, ugh.

835

I, when we moved back there, um, to take

care of the property, a couple last year

836

or whatever, was driving down the driveway

one day and a snake came flying out of

837

the side of the hill I refused to walk

down that driveway again, like ever.

838

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241:

They like shoot out at you,

839

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: They did.

840

They shot out right over the driveway.

841

It was wild.

842

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241:

snakes, get up to shit, man.

843

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Yeah, they do.

844

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: have you

ever had that feeling like where you

845

accidentally touched something that

you didn't know was there like a,

846

a snake or a spider or something?

847

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Uh, not touch.

848

Um, one time we were at the aquarium

in Cincinnati and we were like

849

at the end of the tour, right?

850

We'd been walking for a long

time and we come to the end of

851

the thing and there's this room.

852

it's a big room and there's

big glass panels, like huge,

853

like it's a big aquarium tank.

854

And I'm kind of up, uh, I I get

up to the glass 'cause I don't see

855

anything, and then I look over and an

octopus has its arm coming at me and

856

it goes, and I literally jumped over

a baby stroller to get out of there.

857

I felt like I did the Scooby-Doo

move, like where my, my feet went.

858

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Uh, I, there

was some things are so good at camouflage,

859

and I, the most, the times I most often

touched stuff that I didn't know was

860

there and wished I hadn't was around the

pigpen, like slopping the pigs because

861

there was so much to eat down there.

862

There was always stuff

hanging around down there.

863

And the first time I can really

remember grabbing a wolf spider,

864

was slopping the pigs and.

865

I wasn't paying attention.

866

And I, if you've never slapped pigs,

867

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: I have not.

868

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: you put on

muck boots that go up to your knees

869

because a pig pen, the ground, the

floor of it is a combination of a bunch

870

of shit and clay, mud and old food.

871

And so you sink into

it four to six inches.

872

So walking through a

pigpen is really difficult.

873

and we weren't, when we were kids, we

weren't heavy enough to really yank cause

874

the muck boot you gotta like slurp it

back up out of the, out of the pig shit.

875

So we would use the fence posts and

like grab a hold of the fence post

876

and like drag ourselves forward.

877

And I went to do that and I put my hand

on top of a fence post and it moved.

878

The whole top of the fence post felt

like another hand under my hand.

879

And I knew that was wrong, of course,

and I took my hand off instantly.

880

But I looked at the fence post and

I couldn't see anything different.

881

I just saw fence posts.

882

It was, you know, whatever

it was, was the top of it.

883

And so I thought, okay, you know,

it's rotten or something, or

884

there was leaves or something.

885

I went to walk past it and if

you've ever seen a wolf fighter

886

do this, man, it is something.

887

But this fence post became all

legs on the top and it, it raised

888

its two front legs up when a

spider's threatened, it'll do this.

889

It'll raise its front

legs up at you and like.

890

I can, in my memory, there

is a sound of hissing.

891

I seriously doubt that was really there.

892

I kind of doubt this

spider was cussing me out.

893

But the, it definitely did the hand

thing and I, and I, and it was like

894

you saying the Scooby-Doo thing.

895

I'm stuck in shin deep pig shit, and

I can't run away from this thing.

896

And it's just there waving.

897

It's big ass, like half

of its spider arms at me.

898

And I was like, I couldn't get away.

899

I'm holding rot, a bucket of

rotten food and I'm just screaming.

900

And I felt like such a city kid

901

I love wolf spiders, though.

902

They're so cool.

903

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Hell no.

904

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: I

don't want to touch 'em anymore.

905

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: My closest

experience with a spider was, the, the day

906

or night before I graduated high school.

907

I was asleep and I got bit right here

on my forehead by some kind of spider.

908

And so I had a big scab right here

when I graduated from high school.

909

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Wow, that's,

you must have smooshed it or something.

910

Must have felt it on there.

911

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Yeah.

912

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Uh, did

you know Wolf spiders can fly?

913

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: No,

914

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: It's not really.

915

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: my dad

hated because spiders, spiders

916

I can deal with unless they're

big, but snakes I can't handle.

917

And my dad Mark, was the same way.

918

Um, one time we found one in the, in the

backyard and I was like, there's a snake.

919

And he came out with his gun

and shot it three times and

920

it was like a garter snake.

921

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: I, I am not

particularly scared of snakes, but they

922

don't get in the house, so they're,

I think that's the difference there.

923

Like spiders, everything makes sense

to me outside, even if I don't feel

924

like giving it a hug or a kiss.

925

But snakes, I've never had to

experience them coming in the house.

926

I know.

927

I'm sure someone out there has,

928

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241:

Oh yeah, my friend,

929

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Yeah.

930

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241:

that had one that was in the

931

walls and they would see it.

932

They'd go to get it?

933

Yeah.

934

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Incorrect.

935

Ooh, no, don't like that.

936

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Yep.

937

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: wolf

spiders, they can't, it's not flying

938

really, but they can parasail.

939

So if it's real windy, they

spin a web with their front.

940

legs or spin rants or whatever and

go like, and cast it like a parachute

941

and then the wind catches it and

they just travel around that way.

942

And I only found that out because

one of them landed on me one time

943

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Oh God.

944

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: that is

the most violent I have ever visited

945

upon a single living creature.

946

I don't like to kill things, especially,

you know, if there's, you know, whatever.

947

But man, I sure took that fucker out.

948

Not today.

949

I did it with a broom.

950

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241:

I'm glad you're all right.

951

I'm glad you survived.

952

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: I remember

seeing it come at me, it, because

953

it landed around my forehead and

I was like, that was definitely.

954

Coming at me like it was

in control of this thing.

955

That's like the last thing a

person sees before a xenomorph

956

comes outta their chest.

957

so I googled it and I was like,

this is like one of those Google

958

searches where you're like, I

can't believe I have to type this.

959

But I was like, Ken, spider's fly.

960

And the answer is no, not really,

but they can glide around on,

961

little things that they spin.

962

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Web parachutes.

963

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Mm-hmm.

964

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: That is

kind of a neat trick to have, though.

965

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Yeah.

966

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: I'd blow myself

all over campus if I had that option.

967

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: I used to

have these dreams that I could do that.

968

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241:

Oh, flying dreams.

969

So do

970

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: yeah,

971

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: love 'em.

972

I love 'em.

973

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: me too.

974

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: I swoop,

975

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Yeah, it's, and

it's sometimes it's like I'm a flea and I

976

can just jump really high, like superman.

977

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241:

that's a new one.

978

I haven't heard that one, but

I can usually just fly around

979

whatever area that I'm in.

980

I'm just like Superman with my arms out.

981

I had the weirdest dream last night.

982

I dreamt that I was holding

somebody's baby and I sat it down

983

on a bed and it fell forward.

984

And when it sat up, its

whole nose was like gone.

985

It was just a big triangle

in the middle of its face.

986

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Like Voldemort?

987

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Yeah.

988

How weird is that though?

989

Like why am I injuring babies in my sleep?

990

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Yeah.

991

Like what's your brain trying to tell you?

992

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Yeah.

993

I don't know.

994

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: Maybe

it was about you, maybe your, your

995

nose was smooshed and you were

trying to breathe in your sleep.

996

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: Have

you ever heard the meatloaf story?

997

The meatloaf Dream?

998

dash_7_10-03-2025_164241: No.

999

beck_7_10-03-2025_174241: One

time I dreamed, um, I was a

00:42:39,036 --> 00:42:40,506

non-smoker when this happened.

00:42:40,506 --> 00:42:44,406

I dreamed that I went to a, a

Super America, a Speedway, the

00:42:44,406 --> 00:42:46,476

one in Portsmouth specifically.

00:42:46,746 --> 00:42:49,896

And I went up to the counter and I

bought a pack of Marlboro Lights,

00:42:49,986 --> 00:42:52,176

and she was like 5 79 or whatever.

00:42:52,176 --> 00:42:55,686

And instead of money, I pulled out

a hunk of meatloaf and broke off a

00:42:55,686 --> 00:42:59,436

piece and slid it across the counter.

00:42:59,706 --> 00:43:02,886

And she like raked up all the,

like, the, crumbs of it and

00:43:02,886 --> 00:43:04,386

everything and gave me money back.

00:43:04,686 --> 00:43:05,166

And

00:43:05,771 --> 00:43:07,081

Whose meatloaf was it?

00:43:07,711 --> 00:43:08,821

00:43:08,881 --> 00:43:09,961

I don't know.

00:43:10,199 --> 00:43:10,319

And

00:43:10,319 --> 00:43:12,299

why was it, how did I know

how much it was worth?

00:43:12,299 --> 00:43:12,869

Like,

00:43:12,914 --> 00:43:15,764

she, who decided this exchange rate?

00:43:16,793 --> 00:43:18,473

what was my brain trying to say in

00:43:18,473 --> 00:43:20,723

that, that interaction right there?

00:43:20,798 --> 00:43:21,803

I, I don't know.

00:43:22,086 --> 00:43:23,706

remember my dreams that often.

00:43:23,766 --> 00:43:25,566

They, I think they're probably terrifying.

00:43:26,016 --> 00:43:27,936

medication to help me not remember them.

00:43:27,936 --> 00:43:29,556

'cause I was having nightmares so much.

00:43:29,841 --> 00:43:31,221

There's medicine for that.

00:43:31,236 --> 00:43:32,196

00:43:32,196 --> 00:43:34,446

cool because I'm sure that if you

00:43:34,446 --> 00:43:37,801

are somebody who has nightmares all

the time, your life is probably hell.

00:43:37,801 --> 00:43:38,281

00:43:38,470 --> 00:43:41,200

at me in my sleep, this is not cool.

00:43:41,580 --> 00:43:43,290

I had just so much stress going

00:43:43,290 --> 00:43:45,960

on that my brain was just over it

00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:46,380

00:43:46,540 --> 00:43:47,470

know what else to do.

00:43:47,890 --> 00:43:49,120

But give me these nightmares.

00:43:49,450 --> 00:43:52,060

I don't really have 'em very often

anymore that I remember anyway.

00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:53,200

So I had a

00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:57,280

recurring dream where I was packing

everything and I had like five minutes

00:43:57,280 --> 00:44:00,160

left and I had to find, like, figure

out what I wanted to take with me,

00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:01,450

what was important and what isn't.

00:44:01,810 --> 00:44:05,980

And it would either be my dorm room or my,

my bedroom at my mom's house or whatever.

00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:08,080

and they were gonna tear down

the building or they were gonna

00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:09,580

blow it up or whatever it is.

00:44:09,580 --> 00:44:13,000

And I had five minutes to decide what was

important to take, what I could carry.

00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:14,200

And I've had that dream

00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:14,290

a

00:44:14,290 --> 00:44:16,450

thousand times if I've had it once.

00:44:16,570 --> 00:44:18,340

I've had the packing dream.

00:44:18,670 --> 00:44:21,130

I have it with cat, with

the cats in my dream.

00:44:21,130 --> 00:44:25,463

I'm trying to, leave and I've

gotta take the cats with me.

00:44:25,493 --> 00:44:30,443

But usually something happens where like

they'll, the cats start to multiply.

00:44:30,688 --> 00:44:34,078

or the, you know, I'll be like looking

for Felix, and Felix is a black cat, and

00:44:34,078 --> 00:44:37,348

then suddenly there's 20 black cats there,

and I'm like, which one of you is Felix?

00:44:37,754 --> 00:44:39,944

I'm like, what is, what's,

what am I working on here?

00:44:39,944 --> 00:44:42,464

What's my unconscious

working through here?

00:44:42,464 --> 00:44:43,964

That has to do with packing.

00:44:44,192 --> 00:44:46,407

know I would, and I usually can't

00:44:46,407 --> 00:44:48,027

find my shoes in those dreams.

00:44:48,312 --> 00:44:48,702

00:44:48,807 --> 00:44:49,827

looking for my shoes.

00:44:49,827 --> 00:44:50,127

00:44:50,127 --> 00:44:52,832

I'm usually working on some

sort of go bag type thing.

00:44:53,017 --> 00:44:54,787

Like I, I need certain supplies.

00:44:54,787 --> 00:44:56,557

Like there's a list I'm working with.

00:44:56,766 --> 00:45:01,536

Or I also have this recurring

dream of when we got David's

00:45:01,536 --> 00:45:06,290

stuff back from Iraq and trying to

sort through all of his clothes.

00:45:06,428 --> 00:45:10,538

for some reason in the dream I'm just

like really, really struggling and

00:45:10,538 --> 00:45:14,228

upset with trying to put together

this closet, like sort through this

00:45:14,228 --> 00:45:17,018

closet and be like, which of this

is mine and which of this is his?

00:45:17,267 --> 00:45:18,887

That doesn't even sound like a nightmare.

00:45:18,887 --> 00:45:20,387

But it definitely feels like one

00:45:20,387 --> 00:45:21,077

00:45:21,212 --> 00:45:21,872

00:45:28,578 --> 00:45:33,168

Well, I think that on Halloween

we should just go live on YouTube.

00:45:33,168 --> 00:45:37,315

And listeners, if you want to join

us, for a a tele party, a watch

00:45:37,315 --> 00:45:40,615

party thing, you know, like this,

it used to be called Netflix Party,

00:45:40,615 --> 00:45:42,025

but now it's just tele party.

00:45:42,370 --> 00:45:47,080

it's free and we can use it to watch, um,

curse of the Queer Wolf together, and then

00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:54,010

me and Beck can go live on YouTube and

just do a little bit of a pre-show, and

00:45:54,010 --> 00:45:55,720

then we can all watch the movie together.

00:45:55,720 --> 00:45:57,045

That sounds great to me.

00:45:57,045 --> 00:46:00,762

making a mad lib for us making like some

00:46:00,762 --> 00:46:03,102

redneck versions of some Halloween tropes.

00:46:03,359 --> 00:46:07,109

we could play some Halloween games

and then if you're with us on, on

00:46:07,109 --> 00:46:09,239

the Live, then you can play too.

00:46:09,299 --> 00:46:10,259

You can play it in the chat.

00:46:10,799 --> 00:46:13,856

And then we can just watch the movie

together so if you want to join us for

00:46:13,856 --> 00:46:17,936

that on Halloween, right now I've got

it scheduled for 8:00 PM Eastern Time.

00:46:18,218 --> 00:46:21,008

If you don't have anything to

do for Halloween and this, you,

00:46:21,008 --> 00:46:22,178

this is gonna be your events.

00:46:22,178 --> 00:46:25,358

You don't want to go out and hang out

with people who drink or you just want a

00:46:25,358 --> 00:46:28,358

quiet night, or if this is your pre-game

and you just wanna hang out with us

00:46:28,358 --> 00:46:32,529

while we are nerdy, feel free to join

us and you can get that information.

00:46:32,559 --> 00:46:34,209

Um, we're gonna put it in the newsletter.

00:46:34,569 --> 00:46:37,569

I'm gonna start circulating it on

social media, put up some trailers

00:46:37,569 --> 00:46:40,782

and stuff of Queer Wolf Oh, God,

we're just sitting here talking.

00:46:41,112 --> 00:46:44,202

Maybe let's listen in

on this week's sponsor.

00:46:44,262 --> 00:46:45,342

Let's see who we got here.

00:46:46,512 --> 00:46:49,152

All right, interesting.

00:46:49,152 --> 00:46:49,512

Okay.

00:46:49,512 --> 00:46:54,432

This week's sponsor is the Law

Offices of Heifer and Rind.

00:46:54,688 --> 00:46:59,128

they are here to issue the following

public service announcement for cast iron,

00:46:59,128 --> 00:47:01,678

skillet related injury or wrongdoing.

00:47:04,942 --> 00:47:07,612

have you or someone you love,

been the victim of a cast

00:47:07,612 --> 00:47:09,592

iron related skillet incident?

00:47:09,682 --> 00:47:10,612

You are not alone.

00:47:10,612 --> 00:47:14,722

Every year, thousands of rural Americans

are injured or wronged by skillets

00:47:14,722 --> 00:47:16,432

weighing more than a newborn calf.

00:47:17,062 --> 00:47:21,052

These cookware are both heirloom

and blunt force generational trauma.

00:47:21,502 --> 00:47:24,202

They have been passed down

through generations and sometimes

00:47:24,202 --> 00:47:27,172

used against them at the law

offices of heifer and rind.

00:47:27,172 --> 00:47:29,902

We understand the unique pain

of skillet related injury.

00:47:30,142 --> 00:47:32,392

Maybe you were smacked upside

the head for talk back.

00:47:32,662 --> 00:47:35,482

Maybe you were cut outta grandma's

will for washing it even though

00:47:35,482 --> 00:47:37,282

you swear you only gave it a rinse.

00:47:37,702 --> 00:47:41,152

Maybe you tried to lift one fresh out

of the oven and branded yourself with

00:47:41,152 --> 00:47:43,162

the handle hotter than Hades in August.

00:47:43,551 --> 00:47:48,591

Signs of cast iron trauma may

include family members whispering.

00:47:48,651 --> 00:47:52,691

Bless your heart when you volunteer

to bring the cornbread nightmares

00:47:52,691 --> 00:47:55,451

of being chased through the holler

by a skill at the size of a hub cap

00:47:55,971 --> 00:47:58,611

online shopping for non-stick pans.

00:47:58,980 --> 00:48:00,720

Sudden preference for grilled chicken.

00:48:01,479 --> 00:48:02,529

but there is hope.

00:48:02,619 --> 00:48:04,719

Call one 800 hot grease.

00:48:04,809 --> 00:48:07,479

Our team of lawyers is standing

by where and protective of

00:48:07,479 --> 00:48:08,919

admits ready to fight for you.

00:48:09,399 --> 00:48:13,089

We've won cases involving wrongful

dishwashing, aggravated frying,

00:48:13,089 --> 00:48:15,879

and emotional damages from being

told your cornbread was dry.

00:48:16,142 --> 00:48:17,012

Call today.

00:48:17,042 --> 00:48:19,112

Who even knows what the

statute of limitations on

00:48:19,112 --> 00:48:20,792

aggravated cookery crime is?

00:48:21,002 --> 00:48:22,052

Let us do the cooking.

00:48:22,616 --> 00:48:26,096

note, if you put that sucker in

the dishwasher, and neither heaven

00:48:26,096 --> 00:48:29,416

nor hell nor we can help you just

make your peace and go live in

00:48:29,416 --> 00:48:30,796

a hut by yourself in the woods.

00:48:32,707 --> 00:48:33,992

funny that you should say that.

00:48:33,992 --> 00:48:36,722

I got randomly, um, a

settlement from Facebook.

00:48:36,722 --> 00:48:38,342

I got a payment via PayPal

00:48:38,342 --> 00:48:39,002

I got one of those,

00:48:39,782 --> 00:48:40,712

00:48:40,712 --> 00:48:41,822

How much was yours?

00:48:41,822 --> 00:48:43,802

about, I think it was about that.

00:48:44,155 --> 00:48:47,875

I don't know because it wasn't

exactly that same amount of money

00:48:47,875 --> 00:48:49,705

and it, mine was a long time ago.

00:48:49,705 --> 00:48:51,025

I just got it this week.

00:48:51,025 --> 00:48:51,625

00:48:51,805 --> 00:48:54,745

So they must be doing it in stages.

00:48:54,924 --> 00:48:57,684

There's an at and t one

as well data breach.

00:48:57,899 --> 00:49:00,479

They just stay fucking

around with our stuff

00:49:00,479 --> 00:49:01,349

00:49:01,349 --> 00:49:02,369

and we have no choice.

00:49:02,990 --> 00:49:04,190

you like to hear of the noun of

00:49:04,190 --> 00:49:05,750

Appalachian interest for the week?

00:49:06,095 --> 00:49:06,315

00:49:06,470 --> 00:49:09,380

I would love to hear of the

noun of Appalachian interest.

00:49:09,860 --> 00:49:10,430

00:49:10,730 --> 00:49:15,140

Today's noun isn't a pepperoni roll,

a geo metro or a pair of house shoes.

00:49:15,350 --> 00:49:19,130

It's a person, a voice, a mind,

a revolutionary heart that came

00:49:19,130 --> 00:49:22,970

straight out of the hollers of

Kentucky, the incomparable bell hooks.

00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:24,080

00:49:25,340 --> 00:49:25,790

Yay.

00:49:25,790 --> 00:49:26,930

The crowd goes wild.

00:49:28,115 --> 00:49:30,575

Bell Hooks, we love and appreciate

00:49:30,575 --> 00:49:33,875

you not just because you were from

Hopkinsville, Kentucky, not just

00:49:33,875 --> 00:49:37,055

because you carried the mountains and

valleys of Appalachia in your cadence,

00:49:37,415 --> 00:49:40,475

but because you taught us how to love

the world differently, you taught us

00:49:40,475 --> 00:49:42,065

that love isn't soft and saccharine.

00:49:42,065 --> 00:49:43,145

It's a radical act.

00:49:43,415 --> 00:49:47,255

You taught us that to resist oppression is

to love ourselves enough to demand better.

00:49:47,725 --> 00:49:49,355

Born Gloria Jean Watkins.

00:49:49,355 --> 00:49:52,565

You chose the name Bell Hooks to

honor your grandmother and to keep the

00:49:52,565 --> 00:49:55,745

focus on the substance of your words

rather than on your own identity.

00:49:56,045 --> 00:49:58,955

You were the daughter of working

class, Appalachian family, and you

00:49:58,955 --> 00:50:00,455

never forgot where you came from.

00:50:00,695 --> 00:50:03,575

You pulled the coal dust and the

bluegrass right into your theory.

00:50:03,845 --> 00:50:07,535

You showed us that Appalachia isn't

just banjos and front porches, it's

00:50:07,535 --> 00:50:09,785

also black women writing fierce truths.

00:50:09,995 --> 00:50:12,275

It's girls with notebooks

who refuse silence.

00:50:12,425 --> 00:50:16,115

It's a place where love can be a hammer

and a quilt all at the same time.

00:50:16,424 --> 00:50:18,914

You gave us the language of

intersectionality before it had

00:50:18,914 --> 00:50:20,744

a name and you gave us a voice.

00:50:20,744 --> 00:50:22,634

As familiar as your aunt's front porch.

00:50:22,904 --> 00:50:25,634

You showed us that feminism

must be for everybody.

00:50:25,934 --> 00:50:28,874

You made the academy listen to the

cadence of your Kentucky voice,

00:50:29,024 --> 00:50:32,144

lowercase letters and all, and you

made sure that those words were

00:50:32,144 --> 00:50:34,694

not just read, but felt bell hooks.

00:50:34,694 --> 00:50:38,174

Your words are in every cold town

where a girl picks up a pen, they're

00:50:38,174 --> 00:50:41,234

in every small classroom where someone

daress to say, what about race?

00:50:41,579 --> 00:50:42,509

What about gender?

00:50:42,539 --> 00:50:43,409

What about love?

00:50:43,799 --> 00:50:46,889

You left us a library of courage

and tenderness, and we are forever

00:50:46,889 --> 00:50:49,919

trying to read it out loud with

the same clarity you gave us.

00:50:50,129 --> 00:50:52,949

So today we tip our

hats and our mason jars.

00:50:52,949 --> 00:50:53,279

To you.