Sometimes there will come a time when you realise that for a variety of reasons you need to quit your job. This can bring up a lot of complicated thoughts, feelings and situations. I hope this episode is helpful to you either right now or in the future.

The Highlights:

• 00:29: Welcome
• 01:09: Finding today’s topic
• 01:31: Breaking News!
• 02:18: Come and join my free community
• 03:03: An unenviable role in psychology and spotting your new job!
• 05:07: How do you celebrate a new job?
• 05:48: Getting the sense a job is not for you….
• 08:28: Internalising reasons
• 09:45: Unsafe services
• 10:57: 12-year-old Marianne – random insights
• 13:58: People who area bad fit for a service
• 15:39: Packing up your stuff
• 16:06: Reasons to stay
• 17:27: Timing of doctoral placements
• 19:08: Lizzy
• 20:55: When did you first hear about me?
• 21:53: Enter competition before Halloween deadline – see shownotes
• 22:57: Using supervision
• 23:20: Union support
• 24:42: Pitching in to support your team
• 26:12 The ultimate taboo? Quitting doctoral training
• 27:25: Your happiness matters
• 28:24: Talk to others and be supported
• 29:00: Thanks, and connect, 31st Oct compassionate Q&A
• 30:00: Close

Links:

 Enter competition to win 1:1 coaching session here: www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk/my-books

 Grab your copy of the new book: The Aspiring Psychologist Collective: https://amzn.to/3CP2N97

 Get your Supervision Shaping Tool now: https://www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk/supervision

 Connect socially with Marianne and check out ways to work with her, including the upcoming Aspiring Psychologist Book and The Aspiring Psychologist Membership on her Link tree: https://linktr.ee/drmariannetrent

To check out The Clinical Psychologist Collective Book: https://amzn.to/3jOplx0

To join my free Facebook group and discuss your thoughts on this episode and more: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aspiringpsychologistcommunity

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If you're looking to become a psychologist, then let this be your guide. With this podcast at your side, you'll be on your way to being qualified. It's the Inspiring Psychologist podcast with Dr. Marianne Trent.

Hi, welcome along to the Aspiring Psychologist podcast. I am Dr. Marianne Trent and I am a qualified clinical psychologist. So I was trying to work out what to talk about today because I've got some guest podcasts lined up, but I haven't recorded them yet, but they are coming. So you might be like, "Ah, there's been a lot of Marianne lately."

But yes, there's going to be another one of me today. And if you are listening but would rather watch, you can come along to Dr. Marianne Trent on YouTube and see what I'm wearing today. So I was trying to work out what to do, and I think I could do this, I could do that. And then I thought, "No, I know what I'm going to do."

I'm going to talk about when you want to quit your job. And we've already done an episode about when you can't be bothered to be a psychologist and we've already done an episode about when you're hurting and you feel like quitting. But today's going to be slightly different because it's going to be about, actually no, this...

Yeah, this isn't for me. I'm going to change my job. And it's very strange timing because I was literally just setting everything up to get sorted, looking for the right hole for the mic wire and all of that. And then my computer alerted me to the fact that Liz Truss has literally as of about a couple of minutes ago, resigned.

It's breaking news as I speak right now. Twitter will be alight. And you should definitely, if you're not already following me on Twitter, come along and follow me, Dr. Marianne Trent. Yes, it will be an absolute foray. But it has been already, hasn't it?

I also would welcome your comments and thoughts about how you navigate being an aspiring psychologist or a mental health professional in the world right now on media and social media. So yeah, let me know. Come along to the Aspiring Psychologist community brackets (free group) on Facebook and let me know what's going on for you in that realm right now.

But that's an aside. So yeah, the social media will be alight. I presume there'll be a general election now. It's been a pretty dodgy time, hasn't it? Not an enviable reign regardless of what your political allegiances are. Not an enviable role at all.

And sometimes in psychology and in mental health, we also have that too. On paper, the job sounded amazing. On paper as you spotted it, perhaps on NHS jobs or maybe in your local paper or on some sort of recruitment consultant website, you were like, "This is it. This is my job. This is a bit of me."

So it might be that it was this long awaited assistant psychologist position and you were like, your little ears picked up. I've been there, I've been there. You suddenly see there's an assistant psychologist job actually available near you.It's just about travelling distance or maybe it's even in your home city and you're like, "Wow, this is it." You get that feeling. You're like, "This is my time and I'm ready for the next step and this is my job. Get out the way everybody else. Do your best, but this job is mine."

And you just get that sense and you apply and you get through to the, maybe you get through the first round of applications, maybe you even get the interview and maybe you get told you're final two and they want to see you again. I don't know. But you get some feedback eventually that you're the chosen one. You've got this job and you're like, "Hallelujah, hallelujah.

It is my time and I'm ready for the next step. And the universe told me this was going to be my job and here it is. Amazing. How am I celebrating?" Buying some shoes, buying a nice candle, coffee with a friend. I don't drink coffee. Don't know why I said coffee, herbal tea for me. Buying a nice outfit. Going out for dinner.

How else do you celebrate? Please do let me know. How do you celebrate when you do? Well, I try not to reward myself with food. I try not to have, although if I was, I just got an intrusive thought then if there was a Ben's Cookies nearby, which I think might only be in Brighton now, but there used to be some across the, yeah, across the country. But I think they might only be in Brighton now.

If there was a Ben's Cookie nearby, I might well celebrate with a chocolate orange Ben's Cookie because they are amazing. So yes, if you are Ben's Cookies and you'd like to send me some, thanks. So right, yeah, when you get this job and you're like, "This is going to be incredible."

And then you start, and it's just not quite something doesn't quite feel quite right. It isn't quite what you imagined. But your name badge says assistant psychologist or whatever it is that you want it to be and you're like, "So it's worth it. I knew this wouldn't be easy, but life isn't easy so I'm going to just push it down.

I'm not going to pay attention to it because it's really cool. Love this job." So for me, when I was on a placement once and I turned up and without even basically knowing anything about me, on day one I was sort of just given 10 files and it was very much feeling part of the conveyor belt there not feeling at all like an individual clinician.

And it's small things like that that you might notice that you're like, "This kind of doesn't feel that comfortable to me. This isn't quite what I imagined." And in the brand book, the Aspiring Psychologist Collective as well, there's a couple of stories of people who are like, "Yeah, with hindsight, that wasn't an assistant psychologist job. That was just shuffling papers.

This isn't what I imagined an assistant psychologist role." Or other relevant experience role. Please fill in your own dream job there. Isn't what I imagined it would be like. And of course that's not really okay, is it? So you know that you want to get enough relevant experience and you want to get the right kind of experience under the right kind of supervisor to be able to...You can hear my husband doing some percussion as he walks around the house. Thanks, noisy husband. He is a drummer and he makes a lot of noise. So and my children are both learning to be drums as well. So they also make lots of noise. It's a very noisy house. Anyway, so yeah, you're just like, "This isn't what I thought. And although this experience is key to me, it's getting to the position now." Perhaps not on day one.

We might have zoomed past a little bit. Where you're like, "Hmm, I'm not sure this is about me." Because to begin with, we can be internalising the experiences we're having. We can think, "Well, it must be me. I must have misunderstood. Or maybe it was the way I handled X or Y. And I remember that one time when I did struggle to get on with someone.

So maybe it's just something that I've done." But as time goes on and you're still asked to do things that don't feel like they're utilising your skills to the best potential or they're asking you to do things that don't feel that comfortable or maybe even that robust, maybe you're thinking, "This is not a safe service for me to be in."

It gets to the point where you're like, "I don't know if I want my name associated with this service sometimes." And you're thinking about is it whistle blowing? I've definitely been to the training on whistle blowing. Is this safe? And some aspiring psychologists have gone ahead and whistle blown.

And then of course, there shouldn't be any reason why you shouldn't continue in that job because of course, we've got protection for whistle blowing. And in case you listening to this like, "I don't know what whistle blowing is." It's when you see something unsafe or not okay and you alert probably the whistle blowing department in your trust or in your overarching service to say, "I've got clinical concerns about this service or this person.

This is not robust, this is not safe. So that might be one of the reasons that you are feeling that this is not the job for you. But if you were to whistle blow, it could feel like hot water, but it or not to because you're supposed to be protected as a whistleblower.

But I know when people have been in that position that sometimes it's challenging, but we still need to make sure that we're protecting the service users, we're protecting the public, we're protecting just providing safe, robust, ethical evidence-based services with appropriately qualified clinicians.

So I remember when I was... I hope some of you listen to this to get random insights into my life, but when I was very young, I was, I'm going to say 11 or 12, something like that, and I was at secondary school, I basically looked a bit like this really. I think I looked a whole lot different despite the fact that that is nearly three quarters of my life away ago now.

But yes, we were being taught German, so can't of been year one. Because year one we did just French. But year two we did German if we'd done okay at French. Too much information. Anyway, I think it was either year eight or year nine. And then the teacher was dreadful and also couldn't hold the attention of the class and couldn't hold the respect of the class either.

People who would ordinarily be very pro-social, very thoughtful members of the class were being awful. This teacher brought out some sort of feral-ness in people who ordinarily would be really good diligence students, myself included I think. Just there was lack of respect there and that was very difficult.

And it got to the stage where I think we'd all complained. We sort of tolerated it to begin with and to begin with, it's quite fun because you get to kind of mess around and... But after a while you're like, "This is just, this is a waste of my time and I am 12." And that doesn't happen easily.

No, but it got to the stage where we were so concerned about that, that we were raising that regularly with other staff. I guess, it didn't feel safe at times either. Even though we're just in a classroom, it felt like chaos and there was no discernible talent for teaching German observed.

And so in the end, this teacher, I'm trying to stay genderless here, I think I have so far, this teacher was dismissed. And it was later investigated that this teacher had never actually qualified as a teacher. And in fact wasn't German, which shouldn't matter, but was Austrian. And so it just was chaos.

So I think they do speak Germany, German. They do speak German in Austria, don't they? But for me at the time it was a big deal like, "Teaching us German, and not even from Germany." But yeah, sometimes the wrong people are in the right job. And so you might find yourself in a service where you've got someone that is a wrong person. So hopefully not as quite chaotic as in a room full of 11 and 12 year old wildcat kids.

But this might resonate with you. You might be like, "Yes, I can immediately bring someone to mind who is just not a good fit for the service, not a good fit for me personally." And I was just, in fact, I'm a little bit behind with Married at First Sight at the moment. If you're watching that, you might well be ahead of me.

But I was on the final dinner party last night for Married at First Sight UK. And there's some people, as soon as they walk in, they just bring the energy of the room down and it's like, "Oh." And I don't know if you guys have got a WhatsApp group for watching reality TV with your other psychology friends, but I have.

And we're all like, "Oh, did you see that? Did you see that?" Yeah, there's some people in services that are like that too. So basically all of these many factors, including toxic culture about work, finish and start times and not stopping for your lunch. Always stop for your lunch people. I do.

If you're like, "Oh, I'd like to hear more about what Marianne does for lunch," then please do listen to the previous episode, which was episode 45 where I talk in detail about my love of lunch. So yeah, you just very quickly, for a variety of reasons coming to the conclusion that this job is not a bit of you, this is not for you.

And the best conclusion you can think of is to leave, to pack up your troubles and your old kit bag and see if you want to take that trust pen with you that never works very well. Because I could say pack up your desk, but I never had one, never really had one in NHS services.

I did have a locker in my most recent service, but even being able to find a chair at times was problematic. So yeah, see whether you've got a notebook that they're going to let you take with you. But you might decide that you need to look for a new role, that your time in this service is limited. And that can lead to a whole host of difficult emotions in yourself, especially if you don't yet have a job to go to.

So you might be in a position where you're having to stay in a job that you don't want to be in because you know you've got to finish a qualification. Or if you don't stay in it, there might be some sort of financial consequence. Or because you're worried about having at least six months on your CV or you really want that reference on your CV, for example.

And to that, and of course you might just need the money, which is very real and a very pressing concern. But we also need to think about you being important. And this is likely not a case of you being a bad fit for psychology or for the mental health career that you are pursuing, but this is quite possibly localised to this one service and to the people that you have met in it.

And I'm very aware also, not just that today is the day that Liz Truss has resigned, but we are also in the first stretch of doctorate training courses. And that imminently people will start their first placement or their third placement or their fifth placement depending on how the courses are structured.

That was the timing autumn for me when I was a trainee clinical psychologist. So first would usually run October, usually October until around March. I would always take a week at the end of placement to have a nice break. And then the next one, I think will start around April time and run until Augusty-September time. Depends on the dates.

And then obviously you'd have the same cycle, but for placements three and four and five and six the following year. So yeah, always trying to illuminate the process in case you don't know about the processes. But if you do know that already, then sorry, But try to make this as accessible as possible and to save you any future Googles. So yeah, at this point, let's just take a quick break to hear from from one of you guys about what it's like to be just in my world. Yeah, this is a good one. Hope you enjoy.

Dr. Marianne Trent is here to help aspiring psychologists. She can help me become a success. She has books, podcasts, and does Q and A. She [inaudible 00:18:57] help in so many ways. It's Dr. Marianne Trent. Dr. Marianne Trent. Dr. Marianne Trent.

My name's Lizzie and I work as a senior psychological wellbeing practitioner. I first became aware of Marianne Trent through her compassionate lives on Facebook through our application season for the [inaudible 00:19:19]. I then got hooked on her Aspiring Psychologist podcast, which really helped me to think about how my experiences have shaped me as a practitioner.

The Clinical Psychologist Collective book allow me to be kind to myself as I learned that very few people have a straightforward journey to training. I was then lucky enough to be one of the first to join the Aspiring Psychologist membership.

And this means I have what's affectionately known in my house as Marianne Mondays. As on top of a new podcast episode, I also have a session on most Monday evenings on topics such as the application, research on various modalities such as CBT, psychodynamic approaches or cognitive analytic therapy with a host of experts.

The community Marianne has created and the support she offers has been invaluable so far this season. I'm learning so much about myself and the world of clinical psychology. I highly recommend the Aspiring Psychologist podcast, Marianne's Books and the Aspiring Psychologist membership to anyone thinking about clinical training.

Doctor Marianne Trent is here to help aspiring psychologists. She can help you become a success. She has books, podcasts and does Q and A. She [inaudible 00:20:50] help in so many ways. It's Doctor Marianne Trent, Doctor Marianne Trent, Doctor Marianne Trent.

Oh, thanks lovely, Lizzie. I love knowing how you first heard about me. I didn't know that. Yeah, I would love to know how many of you first learned about me, frankly. When did I first darken your door or brighten your vista maybe? How did it feel for you? When did you first hear about me and was that a good thing or were you like, "Marie what?

Marie who?" Let me know. But yeah, if you'd like to leave me an audio testimonial, please do. Head along to my website, www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk/podcast. And if you've read one of the psychology books and you'd let me have that testimonial before the 31st of October, which is Halloween, which is coming up imminently.

If you do that before Halloween, then you'll be entered into a draw to win a one to one psychology coaching session with me on the first, second, or third of November, just in case you wanted to use that session to tweak your form before submissions to have a look at it together.

So I'm going to be closing the draw on the 31st of October, which is the day of the next compassionate Q and A as well. But I won't do the draw until the 1st of November because I want to make sure that everybody before midnight can get there entries in if they would like to.

So yes, there's other information about how you can enter the competition in the show notes, but also on my website. So if you go to www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk/my-books, you will see all the information you need there. So we are thinking about deciding and indeed finding a new job and knowing that that's okay.

So of course, if it feels safe to do so, you should be discussing some or all of this with your supervisor and with your manager as well, who might not be your supervisor. Because some services have different managers than supervisors. But it doesn't always feel that safe to do. But you could also consider talking to HR.

If you're unionised, you could also consider talking to your union. And again, like I said, it might involve talking through policies and procedures and potentially whistle blowing. But it might just be that you're like, "This is not the job for me. This is not what I imagined. This is not what I think an assistant psychologist role is.

I feel like a skivvy. This is not for me." I just paused for a brief moment there to check I wasn't going to be offending anybody with an ulterior meaning for the word skivvy. I think we're okay with that.

So apparently it does mean a female servant who's asked to do menial tasks. So I'm going to open that up and suggest that regardless of your gender, you can be a skivvy, someone's asking you to do stuff that you just think, "This is not my role."

This isn't about being too poshed to do some jobs or thinking it's not my role. I have done washing up and all sorts and kind of dived in to help support the team and do different bits and pieces that you wouldn't necessarily think other roles of an aspiring or qualified psychologist, but things to support the team and to have a cohesive environment, like going to tea dances and things with clients when I was an inpatient.

Lovely memories, but not specifically an assistant psychologist role. But yes, we're not talking about that. We're talking about stuff that feels like it's not using your skills ever. And you've worked hard to develop those skills, so. And of course, sometimes, as I was saying at this sort of time, people are doing trainee clinical psychology roles perhaps for the first time.

And that balance of academic pressures, placement pressures, jostling to find a place in the cohort and personal life and commute. And sometimes people are living separately to their family and having great amounts of travel. It is not unheard of that people decide to quit their doctoral psychology training.

And I know that if you're an aspiring psychologist yourself and you haven't yet been offered doctoral training, that when you hear that, it feels like, "Oh, you've taken a place and then you've not completed your training. This is a place I could have had. This is a place someone else could have had." But all of those factors sort of need to just be put to one side.

We can't be too worried about what other people think about us because you matter. And we can't know that we're going to like doing anything if we've not done it before. We do things with the best intentions, with the best resources we've got on any given day, but that might be different when we actually get there and we've got more insight into what that role is like.

Or we thought that might be sustainable for a period of time, but actually when we get there, or perhaps some of the variables change and you're less resourced, perhaps someone in your family becomes ill, or your own health starts to falter and that suddenly becomes untenable for you. And so you might be listening to this thinking, "I'm not sure this old training malarkey is for me, or I'm not sure this doctoral training malarkey is for me."

Because you might decide to defer and have a place on the same cohort next, same course next year, if that's a possibility. Or you might decide this uni is not a fit for you kind of locally. You need something closer to where you grew up or away from where you grew up. Maybe that's part of the problem.

But you might decide whatever psychology or mental health role you are in, even if it is a doctoral programme, that this is just making you so unhappy, giving you that really connect to your body where you're feeling that in your body. This is just making you feel so sick and sluggish and it feels like the weight of the world is pressing on your shoulders with making it feel like this is just consuming all of your thoughts.

So I just wanted to extend my compassion if you are finding yourself in this position right now, and to just give you permission to do what you need to do to look after yourself. But yeah, please do reach out for people's support that you care about and that you trust. You do speak to your supervisor if that feels safe to do so.

Do speak to your, if you are on training, speak to your personal tutor. If that doesn't feel safe, speak to your cohort, speak to your course director if that feels okay. Speak to another local clinician. Speak to someone on placement or speak to someone. You don't have to feel this way. This is not okay.

And often, the burden of having that first conversation can feel like the most difficult time. But if we don't ask for help, then people don't always think to offer it. So yeah, you need to make the decision that's right for you, but please try not to make that in isolation.

Please try to make sure that you're at least including people in your family, your support systems to make sure that you're going to be looked after practically and emotionally. So I hope you found this a useful episode. It's been my pleasure to speak with you. Please do come and connect with me on my socials.

I'm Dr. Marianne Trent most places. And yeah, come and join the free community, the Aspiring Psychologist Community free group on Facebook. And yeah, if you would welcome more support, come along to the Q and A on the 31st across all of my socials at 7:30 PM, apart from TikTok, not on TikTok.

And yeah, if you would like even more support, come and join the Aspiring Psychologist membership. More details on my socials or in the show notes. Thank you so much. Be kind to yourself. Please, please, please be kind to yourself. Thank you so much for being part of my world. I'll catch up with you very soon for the next episode of the Aspiring Psychologist podcast. Take care.

If you're looking to become a psychologist, then let this be your guide. With this podcast at your side, you'll be on your way to being qualified. It's the Aspiring Psychologist podcast with Dr. Marianne Trent.