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Episode 63 - Fatal Distraction
Episode 6322nd January 2025 • Sorry, Honey, I Have to Take This • Sorry, Honey
00:00:00 01:04:54

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The Agents resort to unconventional methods to gain access to the forbidden.

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Transcripts

Speaker A:

Hello?

Speaker B:

What time is it?

Speaker B:

Who is it?

Speaker A:

I don't know.

Speaker C:

Situation.

Speaker C:

Green constellations.

Speaker B:

Sorry love, I have to take this.

Speaker B:

Sake.

Speaker A:

A regional deal.

Speaker A:

Deity, Possibly local.

Speaker A:

Are there any folks, folks in the area that still, you know, subscribe to the beliefs or stories?

Speaker B:

That's a very good question.

Speaker B:

She looks up at the man beside her who again seems completely disinterested in any of this conversation and has kind of focused his eyes lazily upon some point in the distance.

Speaker B:

She turns back to you, Felix.

Speaker B:

But no, there are no, I suppose modern day descendants that we, some that we've been able to interview, that I know of that have really given us anything more to glean about these particular engravings.

Speaker B:

It's, it's always possible that they're, they're only decorative.

Speaker B:

But the prominence of, of them and the frequency of their depictions, especially in the interior, does speak to a different story there.

Speaker B:

It's one of, one of the many mysteries of the, of what the Zapotec peoples have left behind.

Speaker A:

And is one of these and carvings possibly what was damaged?

Speaker A:

Was it one of these strange gods?

Speaker B:

No, an entire wall was well knocked down, which is why we have some structural concerns.

Speaker B:

Actually.

Speaker B:

It opened a heretofore unknown chamber in the pyramid.

Speaker B:

That's why there's such a need for review and careful understanding of exactly the extent of the damage before we reopen anything to the public.

Speaker B:

There may be new archaeological evidence inside that we need to catalog.

Speaker B:

So it's, it's actually.

Speaker B:

Well, there's two tiers here.

Speaker B:

We have potentially a structural issue due to the vandalism, which is highly dangerous.

Speaker B:

But also it looks like another chamber has been opened which was never found before.

Speaker B:

Even with lidar and ground penetrating radar efforts from, you know, previous expeditions to map the fairly small interior of, of Yolo Tushotli.

Speaker A:

That's truly amazing.

Speaker A:

Silver lining, really.

Speaker A:

I mean you must be excited.

Speaker A:

What do you think the room was for?

Speaker A:

What do you think you'll find?

Speaker B:

Well, I've only briefly glanced through it.

Speaker B:

We haven't really had time to do any real work just yet.

Speaker B:

We will shortly, hopefully next week once we get more of the team here.

Speaker B:

Close everything down from the public.

Speaker B:

But there are looks like pictographs in there.

Speaker B:

So it's not just a chamber into hollow earth.

Speaker B:

It does look like artisans were working there.

Speaker B:

They are remarkably well preserved.

Speaker B:

Also some additional statues and carvings of the tree like beings that we, we've been discussing during this, this chat.

Speaker B:

So it seems like a continuation of the mystery of Yoloto Shoshotli.

Speaker A:

Oh, that's incredible.

Speaker A:

Does anyone else have any questions?

Speaker A:

I mean, I feel like we got.

Speaker D:

How many expert here specifically did this happen?

Speaker B:

The damage occurred about two weeks ago.

Speaker B:

Okay.

Speaker D:

Okay.

Speaker C:

Have y'all had anybody try to come back and damage it some more?

Speaker C:

Have y'all caught anybody who might have been associated with it?

Speaker C:

Get anyone on camera or anything like that?

Speaker B:

Unfortunately, there's no cameras at the site.

Speaker B:

Boy, that would have made things a little bit easier.

Speaker B:

She looks up at the police officer who is is quite interested in your your conversations now.

Speaker B:

He's grimly taking in the discussion.

Speaker B:

He's got his arms crossed.

Speaker B:

He's watching carefully.

Speaker B:

No, there have been no repeat offenders.

Speaker B:

She smiles.

Speaker B:

Our presence here seems to deter anyone from getting too curious.

Speaker B:

And again, it is quite dangerous.

Speaker B:

And that's mostly why we're here.

Speaker B:

We've had no additional criminal activity or suspicion of that.

Speaker C:

That's good to hear.

Speaker C:

People coming in and damaging these sites just really grinds my gears, you know.

Speaker C:

I just can't stand it.

Speaker C:

Just no respect.

Speaker B:

She nods and looks down sadly.

Speaker B:

It's more common than we would like.

Speaker B:

The INAH is stretched fairly thin and it's difficult to get some security out here.

Speaker A:

I totally get it.

Speaker A:

As an ancient person myself, I think that it's important that we keep our relics safe.

Speaker B:

Go ahead and roll your charisma, please.

Speaker A:

And I failed 60 out of 73.

Speaker B:

She doesn't really seem to pick up on the humor.

Speaker B:

She just nods, her lips pursed.

Speaker B:

Well, again, I apologize that it's closed down, but as I'm sure you can now agree, it's for everyone's benefit that we ensure the safety of those who visit and we conserve what has been effectively uncovered inside.

Speaker A:

Well, I appreciate all the work you're doing protecting this site and Felix will put his hand out and what was Your name again?

Speaker B:

Dr.

Speaker B:

Isela Vazquez.

Speaker A:

She shakes her hand and then I do the same to the young man.

Speaker B:

He nods.

Speaker B:

He seems a little awkward.

Speaker A:

I do the same to the police officer.

Speaker A:

In Spanish I say, the person keeping us all safe.

Speaker A:

Thank you sir.

Speaker A:

And then I ask for his name.

Speaker B:

Julio Rojas.

Speaker A:

He says, thank you Julio.

Speaker B:

He shakes your hand.

Speaker B:

His arms are tanned and thick with muscle.

Speaker B:

It's obvious that he is in good shape.

Speaker B:

He's stocky and in his early 40s again.

Speaker B:

He has a neatly trimmed mustache and short in a short cropped buzz cut.

Speaker A:

Is this a time I could use humit to see how he feels about me?

Speaker A:

Or at least how he's portraying his emotions towards me?

Speaker A:

Like, does he seem weirded out by me or is he like, oh, okay, weird American guy, but nice enough roll you humit.

Speaker A:

Dang it.

Speaker A:

Four I I I I.

Speaker A:

Oh, that's good.

Speaker A:

I succeeded in demeanor.

Speaker B:

Yeah, he's fairly gruff in his demeanor.

Speaker B:

He was obviously to you since you've been taking careful note of his behavior.

Speaker B:

He was obviously mostly bored by his assignment here until y'all started talking to the doctor.

Speaker B:

You think because of the thick corded muscle of his arms and what looks to be rippling features under his worn uniform, that he's probably more used to action than babysitting tourists.

Speaker B:

You kind of get the impression that this guy is ready to go.

Speaker B:

Like a coiled snake.

Speaker B:

That's, that's the energy that you feel after watching this guy and talking to him and shaking his hand.

Speaker A:

Cool.

Speaker A:

Cool.

Speaker A:

In Spanish, I ask him, hablo ingles?

Speaker B:

Si.

Speaker B:

Yes.

Speaker A:

Wonderful.

Speaker A:

I could see that you're a man doesn't really enjoy just sitting out here.

Speaker A:

You should be catching these guys.

Speaker A:

Do you know anything about who could have possibly done this?

Speaker A:

I don't understand why anyone would destroy a wall.

Speaker A:

Yeah.

Speaker B:

So it's a waste of time watching over tourists when there's real crime out there.

Speaker D:

Yeah, but.

Speaker A:

And they got you.

Speaker B:

Sometimes you draw the short straw and.

Speaker A:

They got you out here at not too.

Speaker B:

Not me.

Speaker A:

Well, that's good.

Speaker A:

Someone else got the even shorter straw, huh?

Speaker B:

Yeah.

Speaker B:

He nods.

Speaker B:

You see his eyes kind of dart to the side when he answers that?

Speaker B:

He scratches his head.

Speaker A:

I continue down the stairs.

Speaker B:

So you leave the pyramid?

Speaker A:

Yeah.

Speaker B:

Okay.

Speaker B:

Everybody else leaving.

Speaker B:

Your team is now back at the cyan colored jeep next to Paolo, who's smiling and rambling about the next site that you're going to visit before the sun totally dips below the horizon.

Speaker A:

Paolo, are there any coconuts for sale or something like that around here?

Speaker A:

You could get us coconuts.

Speaker B:

No.

Speaker B:

Maybe.

Speaker A:

What about a Coke?

Speaker B:

Oranges There.

Speaker B:

There's some oranges.

Speaker B:

If we go back to the main roads.

Speaker B:

Pretty easy to find.

Speaker B:

Definitely can get you a Coke.

Speaker B:

You Americans, amazing.

Speaker B:

Just like TV.

Speaker A:

Yeah.

Speaker A:

I slip him a 20 and say, yeah, can you run and get us a Coke?

Speaker A:

Don't worry about running.

Speaker A:

It's just an expression.

Speaker A:

Take your time.

Speaker A:

We just want to sit down, relax.

Speaker A:

I'm an old man and I just need a little.

Speaker A:

A little break, you know what I mean?

Speaker B:

Sure.

Speaker B:

You want to stay here at the pyramid and I go back through the jungle to get a Coke and then I come back to pick you up here.

Speaker B:

He seems very confused.

Speaker A:

Oh, you didn't bring Some in the.

Speaker B:

Car, just more Jaime Delgados.

Speaker A:

All right, well, we can just take a break with nosh on some of those beef jerkies then.

Speaker B:

He nods.

Speaker B:

I have very many of them.

Speaker B:

Lots.

Speaker B:

All within their expiration date.

Speaker A:

I noticed I had to step around them to even sit down.

Speaker A:

It was very uncomfortable.

Speaker B:

He cheerfully unpacks the bundles of slim gems and begins passing them out to you.

Speaker A:

I look at the group.

Speaker A:

That's interesting to hear.

Speaker A:

There's a secret room behind a wall that was destroyed.

Speaker A:

Could be something.

Speaker A:

Something someone didn't really want anyone else to find.

Speaker A:

You know what I mean?

Speaker C:

Certainly suspicious.

Speaker C:

You all wonder why Paris just made that noise.

Speaker C:

He gets embarrassed again and pulls out his binoculars and starts looking around very intently.

Speaker A:

His nose starts bleeding.

Speaker A:

His cheeks are red.

Speaker A:

He's got a big sweat mark, like a big sweat.

Speaker D:

Palms are sweaty.

Speaker D:

Mom's spaghetti.

Speaker C:

Chris Frankfort's gonna look around.

Speaker C:

Would there be.

Speaker C:

So we're in the jungle.

Speaker C:

Would it be possible to hide some?

Speaker C:

Like kind of basically post up and hide somewhere to keep to watch the site, to kind of see if and when security leave?

Speaker B:

Yeah, there's about four or five really nice spots that you've already kind of scoped out.

Speaker C:

Hey, guys, if you'd like, I can settle in here into the jungle and keep an eye on this and radio back once these people leave and let you know what the security situation is if it changes.

Speaker E:

Oh, on that note, I don't think that any of us should go too far because we'll have to take any chance we get to get in there as fast as possible.

Speaker A:

What if we get our friend Snediger to get us an in at the police station, get this guy called out, some sort of emergency, you know?

Speaker D:

Yeah, that could work, actually.

Speaker C:

Yeah.

Speaker D:

Well, you've signed up for the job there, buddy.

Speaker A:

I mean, sure, I pull out my cell phone.

Speaker B:

Go ahead, and you call the number for your handler.

Speaker B:

Let me roll.

Speaker B:

And he does pick up after a couple of rings.

Speaker B:

Agent.

Speaker A:

Hey, we're at a site with a loaned uniformed and was hoping that maybe we can get someone from his precinct to call him out.

Speaker A:

Perhaps even just get information about his commanding officer that we could use to get him to step away from his.

Speaker A:

His assignment here.

Speaker B:

What kind of site are you at?

Speaker A:

Archaeological.

Speaker A:

We're at Yoloto Shasholtli.

Speaker A:

We're investigating a crime.

Speaker A:

Right.

Speaker B:

This is the same.

Speaker B:

The same step pyramid that was mentioned to me previously, Correct.

Speaker A:

There was a destruction of a wall.

Speaker A:

An inner chamber was identified.

Speaker B:

But yeah, I sent that information to Perrisford.

Speaker B:

He doesn't actually say Perrisford.

Speaker B:

I sent that information to Frankfurt.

Speaker A:

Great.

Speaker A:

So, yeah, there's FUDs here, and we're hoping that perhaps we can get.

Speaker B:

Do you know what exact station or precinct that he belongs to?

Speaker B:

Can you narrow it down for me?

Speaker B:

Does he have a name?

Speaker B:

Does he have a badge?

Speaker A:

His name is Raul Rojas.

Speaker B:

Okay.

Speaker B:

Anything else?

Speaker B:

It's a fairly tough name for me to pin down.

Speaker B:

I'm trying to.

Speaker B:

Hold on.

Speaker B:

I'm trying to find his.

Speaker B:

Help me find his station.

Speaker A:

Sure thing.

Speaker B:

Badge number, precinct number.

Speaker B:

Anything else you can give me?

Speaker A:

That's all I got right now, but here's the location of where we are.

Speaker A:

And, well, it depends on where he's at.

Speaker B:

I do have some local contacts back in the capital.

Speaker B:

I don't know how much sway they'll have back out here, but no telling until you give me some more details about this individual.

Speaker B:

Are you unable to perform any groundwork yourselves since you have eyes on the site and eyes on this individual?

Speaker B:

Is it a complete blocker, having this one individual in your way?

Speaker A:

No, sir.

Speaker A:

We're just looking for options.

Speaker B:

Yeah, I want to help here, but you're actually probably positioned better than I am to move quick if that's needed.

Speaker B:

However, if time is not an element here, which I can't imagine it isn't, give me a call back with any details so that I can actually track down how to find out who this individual is and where he works.

Speaker B:

And maybe I have some connections that can assist us.

Speaker A:

Well, I guess I like the old Snediger better.

Speaker A:

All right, I'll talk to you later.

Speaker B:

Shit.

Speaker D:

My feelings.

Speaker B:

I forgot to ask how you were doing, Agent.

Speaker B:

I hope it's still very, very well.

Speaker A:

Click.

Speaker C:

You didn't mention active exchange, but.

Speaker A:

Burn.

Speaker A:

I burned him.

Speaker A:

I relate my conversation to the group.

Speaker B:

Yep, brain dumped Paolo is still cheerily, like collecting Slim Jims and passing out bundles of them as you guys tear into them with your broken teeth.

Speaker C:

Are we thinking that this police officer's gonna be here through the night, or you think there'll be a shift change or you think they're gonna leave?

Speaker A:

I mean, I got a feeling that no one is here at night.

Speaker C:

That was my sense.

Speaker C:

Like I said, I could.

Speaker C:

I could just settle in here, and when I see a change move, I can radio and let you all know when it's clear.

Speaker C:

And if it's just one guy, I mean, worst case, we can just sneak up and, you know, put him to sleep for a little bit.

Speaker C:

Might wake up with a headache.

Speaker A:

But Frankfurt, I know you're a tough guy and all, but did you see the pictures of the giant evil trees that we happen to be in a forest.

Speaker A:

Maybe we should stick together.

Speaker C:

Thinking the trees are gonna turn me around and.

Speaker D:

And I think you're getting a little too spooked.

Speaker D:

A little too easy, bud.

Speaker A:

Yeah.

Speaker A:

Cuz we haven't seen anything weird ever in our lives, have we?

Speaker D:

Never in any of my days have I ever seen anything weird.

Speaker D:

Nor will I talk about it.

Speaker C:

Perfectly normal here too, bud.

Speaker A:

Well, I just.

Speaker A:

I just miss you so much that I.

Speaker A:

I just don't want to be away from you.

Speaker B:

A hugs.

Speaker C:

Well, dang.

Speaker C:

I mean, I'm not saying you'll need to go far, right?

Speaker C:

Y'all can just to head up the road and just maybe hang out at a.

Speaker C:

If there's a bar nearby.

Speaker C:

I'm not saying head all the way back to the hotel.

Speaker E:

Yeah, no, we should all stay here.

Speaker E:

It's a good idea.

Speaker E:

We'll just keep.

Speaker E:

I'll keep a lookout.

Speaker A:

I will never again split up the group wherein scary trees are involved.

Speaker A:

I've learned my lesson.

Speaker A:

I know that's Marconi, but that's burned in now.

Speaker D:

That's fair.

Speaker D:

That's totally fair.

Speaker C:

I don't know if there's anybody else in the group who is uniquely skilled in this exact situation, but y'all are more than welcome.

Speaker D:

Yeah, we can hang out here.

Speaker D:

That's fine.

Speaker D:

Let's just dismiss Paolo, give him another 100 bucks, tell him to fuck off and find his hat somewhere else.

Speaker B:

The only problem is you don't have a vehicle out here.

Speaker B:

You came in Paolo's Jeep.

Speaker B:

That is an issue that you probably.

Speaker D:

200 bucks and have him hang out with us.

Speaker B:

You can definitely hang out with Paolo.

Speaker B:

I'm sure he'd be super down to conspicuously hang out in front of this inah group with a police officer.

Speaker A:

We can definitely go to a different pyramid.

Speaker A:

And then on our way back, instead of going back to Juarez, we go to the pyramid.

Speaker C:

Do we.

Speaker C:

Do we have a car?

Speaker C:

We have our own car right here.

Speaker D:

And we should have.

Speaker B:

You have a white panel van.

Speaker C:

Yeah.

Speaker C:

Well, why don't we.

Speaker C:

Why don't we.

Speaker C:

Yeah.

Speaker C:

Go do the other.

Speaker D:

Go get our vehicle.

Speaker C:

Yeah.

Speaker D:

So that we're not beholden to Paolo or Chris.

Speaker A:

How difficult would it be for us to find this place?

Speaker B:

Again, not difficult at all.

Speaker B:

And so you don't even have to go to another site.

Speaker B:

And like humor Paolo.

Speaker B:

Like, you guys have no stake in Paolo.

Speaker D:

No, none.

Speaker B:

Like if his morale Lowers down.

Speaker C:

We got.

Speaker C:

I mean, we got.

Speaker C:

Didn't even give us beef steaks that he's got.

Speaker A:

I mean, he's still on the dime.

Speaker A:

I feel weird just letting him go, you know.

Speaker B:

Okay, no, no, we'll go back very, like joyfully, okay.

Speaker B:

His enthusiasm, you know, dips far.

Speaker B:

And it's very awkward going back when he realizes that you guys are going to cancel the tour.

Speaker B:

It's silent.

Speaker B:

His mustache droops extraordinarily.

Speaker B:

He brings you back to the Holiday Inn, takes his position behind the concierge desk, his eyes downcast as you switch from the jeep into your beautiful, well beaten and well worn panel van.

Speaker D:

Perfecto.

Speaker D:

Let's make our way back.

Speaker B:

What time would you like to arrive at the pyramid?

Speaker C:

Nighttime.

Speaker D:

Maybe we stop for some din dens first so that we don't ransack this temple on an empty tum tum.

Speaker C:

Smart.

Speaker B:

You get some din dens, your tum tums get pretty full up.

Speaker D:

Good, good.

Speaker B:

Feel good, but not too full.

Speaker B:

You don't want to be bloated.

Speaker A:

Plus we all use the bathroom beforehand.

Speaker B:

And drink plenty of very smart.

Speaker B:

You know how I run these games?

Speaker B:

Yeah, very smart.

Speaker B:

Forrest, you go ahead and set up the encrypted comm links for everybody.

Speaker B:

Comlinks.

Speaker B:

Jesus Christ.

Speaker B:

The encrypted radios and mics for everybody.

Speaker B:

Now these are not special spy throat mics or anything.

Speaker B:

It's just you got an earpiece and you got a visible microphone that comes down from the earpiece to go to your mouth.

Speaker B:

Okay, so these are not like super secret spy gear radio equipment.

Speaker B:

But she sets it up with a hub so that you're able to speak to one another within a very.

Speaker B:

A decent range, about 100 meters.

Speaker D:

That's pretty good.

Speaker B:

Now that's assuming she says to you that there's not giant limestone walls in between you.

Speaker B:

She says that may actually cause some interference or even, even worse, cut off the signal, depending on how thick the walls are and how many impurities are within them.

Speaker B:

But hopefully they.

Speaker B:

They hold up.

Speaker E:

The doctor that it was so weird that I wanted to see what it was made out of.

Speaker D:

She was just clowning you.

Speaker A:

Now, was it like green soapstone?

Speaker D:

Yeah.

Speaker A:

And you said no water?

Speaker B:

Not that we know of.

Speaker B:

She said there was no indication of that.

Speaker B:

No evidence.

Speaker A:

I still think it's Dagon.

Speaker D:

Fingers crossed behind her back when she said it.

Speaker A:

So still think it's Dagon.

Speaker B:

And then, yeah, she did gurgle a little praise towards Father Dagon that I don't know if y'all caught that because discord sometimes cuts out the praises towards.

Speaker A:

Elder Gods, so other gods.

Speaker A:

So is Discord God on its own?

Speaker B:

It's kind of like on the same tier as now that the top it serves the other gods.

Speaker D:

It's a servitor.

Speaker D:

Yeah, we're on a servitor.

Speaker B:

Very good.

Speaker B:

And so tell me more about your approach, your preparation.

Speaker B:

I need to know everything, please.

Speaker C:

I mean, I'm thinking we get in close and please, if anybody's got other ideas, like go for it, My initial thought is we get in close, and then I'll take Frankfurt in under the COVID of dark just to scout, and if it's clear, radio back, and then the rest, then all of us can go in, if it's clear.

Speaker C:

And if it's not clear, you know.

Speaker A:

We wait until it's clear, reassess.

Speaker C:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker B:

Well, I think he's just gonna use his death magic and kill everybody.

Speaker C:

Oh, yeah, I'm gonna use fucking death magic.

Speaker C:

You know it.

Speaker B:

That's what happens when you're a crippled wizard in Delta Green.

Speaker B:

You're just like, no.

Speaker C:

I might borrow the Taser, though.

Speaker C:

Might be safer.

Speaker B:

Are you gonna take his taser with you?

Speaker C:

That's a thought.

Speaker C:

What do you guys think?

Speaker B:

You gotta negotiate.

Speaker A:

Yes, you can use my taser, monster.

Speaker D:

Man, such trust now.

Speaker E:

I'd love to see it.

Speaker B:

I'm gonna narrate us to the point where we're at that scene.

Speaker B:

That's okay.

Speaker B:

And if there's anything that I miss, just let me know.

Speaker B:

So y'all drive your panel van back through early, early, early morning.

Speaker B:

We're talking like one in the morning.

Speaker B:

It is extremely dark out here on these jungle roads.

Speaker B:

There's no traffic at all.

Speaker B:

Once you really get off the beaten path, and you do have to park a ways away in order to not make it obvious that there's a vehicle approaching the site, just in case there's still someone posted there.

Speaker B:

And make a short hike through some of this brush, through some of these barely cleared roadways or passageways, back towards Yolotal Shoshotli.

Speaker B:

And at a point that you've agreed upon within radio range, you will very quietly go through the plan one more time.

Speaker B:

You're sending Perrisford ahead to take a position to scope out the site to see if there's anyone who might still be there who could be an issue for you.

Speaker B:

Or if it's clear and you can go explore the site on your own in the dead of night, Frankfurt, you plod your way through the brush, something that you've already rehearsed in your mind a few times began while looking at simple satellite photos.

Speaker B:

Now, after having taken in the sight during the daylight and playing it over and over again in your head, you feel comfortable, you feel confident despite the foreign nature of the land that you're stepping upon.

Speaker B:

And you make your way to one of the spots that you thought would be, well, an excellent vantage point in order to scope out this pyramid without alerting anyone to your presence.

Speaker B:

I'll go ahead and roll your search for you here.

Speaker B:

I have to roll it.

Speaker B:

All right.

Speaker B:

You peer out from behind a thick tree trunk entwined with massive vines, obscuring you with its leafy foliage.

Speaker B:

And you wince because you immediately see that there are at least two pin lights flashing around the front of the pyramid.

Speaker B:

You duck down, stay still, you continue to watch.

Speaker B:

After about 20 minutes, it's clear to you that there are three police officers who are here at the site.

Speaker B:

One seems to be posted up directly at the entry.

Speaker B:

The other two meander around the base of the structure, going back and forth, standing next to one another and speaking, striking up a cigarette and then continuing to do a half assed patrol around this front of the pyramid.

Speaker B:

Only no one seems to be going through the very dense foliage in the back.

Speaker C:

It's Hiberious.

Speaker C:

Do you read me?

Speaker A:

I hear you, Felix.

Speaker C:

We got a problem.

Speaker C:

Now, I know you said I should have used the bathroom when we were eating dinner and I didn't.

Speaker A:

And I'm sorry I mentioned it four times.

Speaker C:

I know I've let you down.

Speaker B:

I've let the roll your constitution Frankfurt.

Speaker A:

You gotta roll.

Speaker A:

We gotta know if it's number one or number two.

Speaker A:

Critical success.

Speaker D:

Nice.

Speaker E:

Or number three.

Speaker B:

The seal on your bladder doubles up in power and you suddenly feel no need to urinate any longer.

Speaker B:

You feel ironclad and honestly, inhumanly, Inhumanly continent.

Speaker B:

That's how you feel.

Speaker C:

Oh, I could have really used that roll on the next thing we do.

Speaker D:

You are a piss reservoir.

Speaker A:

Remember, number two is still in play, so be careful.

Speaker B:

Yeah, we haven't rolled for that yet.

Speaker C:

Oh, that's a good point.

Speaker D:

It's about to get real messy.

Speaker C:

All right, guys, I've got.

Speaker C:

I've got three security guards here, police officers, maybe ones posted up.

Speaker C:

Two are kind of walking around, but it doesn't look like anybody's really moving in the back area.

Speaker C:

And Chris, remind me, is there access to the place through the back?

Speaker C:

Can we get inside through the backside or.

Speaker B:

You did not see anything when you peered over into the dense foliage like entrances like you see on the front, it's pretty thick back there with growth.

Speaker D:

That's what she said.

Speaker C:

Yeah.

Speaker C:

We've got.

Speaker C:

We've got at least three security guards or police officers here right now.

Speaker A:

Well, I got a lead foot.

Speaker A:

I don't think I'll be able to sneak past any police officers.

Speaker A:

What do you need from me?

Speaker A:

How could I help, man?

Speaker C:

What could we do here?

Speaker D:

Well, I've got an idea.

Speaker D:

I've got a flashbang here I could toss out in the jungle somewhere, get them chasing after nothing.

Speaker A:

That could work.

Speaker C:

It might buy us just a little bit of time.

Speaker C:

But just to say if they may not all go after it or they might call in backup, I'm not sure.

Speaker A:

It'll take a long time for backup to get here and give you at least enough time to be able to sneak into that room.

Speaker C:

Yeah, y'all coming with me, right?

Speaker C:

I'm not.

Speaker C:

Not going in by myself.

Speaker A:

You're a hoot.

Speaker A:

Hoot and a half.

Speaker A:

Good luck.

Speaker B:

I will also mention to you, Frankfurt, that near the informational placard, there is a squad car that's parked there.

Speaker B:

You do see that?

Speaker B:

Now, as your eyes continue to adjust to the flashing lights in front of you held by these officers.

Speaker C:

Oh, can I see.

Speaker C:

Is there, like, a precinct printed on the side of the car?

Speaker A:

No, no, nothing like that.

Speaker C:

Just police or police.

Speaker B:

Yeah, policia.

Speaker D:

Maybe if you listen in on their radios, maybe we can hear chatter.

Speaker B:

Chatter.

Speaker B:

Did somebody say cheddar?

Speaker D:

Cheddar.

Speaker D:

Yeah, I said cheddar.

Speaker D:

Can we get that?

Speaker B:

We get that, please.

Speaker C:

I mean, my.

Speaker C:

My hope is it would just be one, and we'd be able to tase the guy and take him out for a little bit, but I can't.

Speaker C:

I don't think I can handle three without raising an alarm.

Speaker D:

The police car, they can easily call in for backup if we make a disturbance.

Speaker C:

Yeah, we need to either get them out of here another way or new plan.

Speaker A:

Chris, this road that we're on right now in the van, if we park the van sideways and, like, took a tire off or just.

Speaker A:

Just pretended like we let the hood up open like it's broke down, would it take the entire road for sure?

Speaker A:

Well, we could do the old.

Speaker A:

My car broke down and blocked the.

Speaker D:

Road, and we got the wrong way.

Speaker A:

And I think it's a solid plan.

Speaker C:

Worth a shot.

Speaker C:

Anybody want to catch up with where I am and go into the creepy, newly discovered room with me?

Speaker D:

Yes.

Speaker E:

Yes, absolutely.

Speaker A:

Like I said, they'd hear me a mile away.

Speaker A:

I would not be Helpful.

Speaker D:

Let's.

Speaker D:

Let's do this then.

Speaker B:

Yeah.

Speaker D:

Let's try the dumb tourist thing.

Speaker B:

Cool.

Speaker B:

Y'all basically have full carte blanche to narrate what you do, and I'll respond.

Speaker B:

So I'm not going to narrate anything until I.

Speaker B:

I get some.

Speaker B:

I need y'all to do.

Speaker A:

So, guys, is the plan to like.

Speaker A:

Like, I parked the van so it blocks the road.

Speaker A:

Faith will go and toss that flashbang deep into the forest.

Speaker D:

No, that's not.

Speaker D:

That part's not happening anymore.

Speaker A:

Why not?

Speaker E:

No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker C:

One distraction at a time.

Speaker A:

I thought the van thing from being able to leave, I thought the van.

Speaker C:

Was too, like, hey, we have a broken down van.

Speaker C:

Will you three police officers please come?

Speaker A:

No, no, no.

Speaker A:

I was thinking in the same vein of Eric's plan of we throw the flashbang, folks will go look, contingency.

Speaker A:

If they decide to drive off to, like, go get someone, we can block them.

Speaker D:

You go is that'll definitely get them radioing back.

Speaker A:

Yeah, but that's going to take like 40 minutes for someone to get here.

Speaker A:

Like, I think probably the fastest.

Speaker A:

Right.

Speaker A:

Like, this is in the middle of nowhere.

Speaker D:

I'm thinking here, check this out.

Speaker D:

We do the van plan.

Speaker D:

Draw away however many people that draws away.

Speaker B:

Right.

Speaker A:

But how do.

Speaker A:

So we walk to them and ask them.

Speaker A:

Yeah.

Speaker A:

To come to the van.

Speaker D:

Buddy.

Speaker D:

Yeah.

Speaker D:

I need your help.

Speaker D:

I'm broken down.

Speaker A:

What if they go call.

Speaker A:

Call a.

Speaker A:

Call someone.

Speaker A:

Or they call in someone.

Speaker E:

Sleeper hold.

Speaker D:

Yeah, that could happen.

Speaker A:

That sounds like a Chris thing.

Speaker B:

Really?

Speaker E:

We don't want them calling anybody.

Speaker A:

He's gonna put that out there.

Speaker A:

Chris will be like.

Speaker A:

He just calls the person in to come.

Speaker A:

You know, pick your car up.

Speaker E:

We don't need to be on a timeline of people coming.

Speaker D:

When all three of them are together.

Speaker D:

Flashbang, and then just take them out as a unit.

Speaker A:

That's fine too.

Speaker A:

I can't fight, so it's up to you guys.

Speaker C:

I just don't want to.

Speaker C:

I don't want to get into a fight with these guys.

Speaker E:

Yeah, we have to get maestro and.

Speaker A:

People, if we don't get in there, we're gonna miss something and we're gonna.

Speaker C:

I mean, I could.

Speaker C:

I mean, I'm hesitant to go solo, but I could take Frankfurt through the back and see if there's another entrance and just have him sneak in.

Speaker D:

There's not, though.

Speaker D:

We pretty much guaranteed there's not by previous explanation.

Speaker C:

Well, he's.

Speaker C:

He keeps saying that, but he's.

Speaker C:

It's not like he's like, it's dense.

Speaker C:

You can't tell no one's back there.

Speaker A:

Like, and, and they're not like in the place that we need to go.

Speaker A:

They're just like walking around.

Speaker A:

They're like, yeah, half ass patrol.

Speaker A:

Yeah.

Speaker D:

I mean you could, you could possibly wait for them to be away from the car.

Speaker D:

See if you can disable their radio and then we can go about, around.

Speaker A:

Yeah, we can do that too.

Speaker E:

You're not going to be alert all night, you know?

Speaker B:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker C:

I mean like I said we could, I could literally just, just fucking wait for them to be on the other side of the building and then just.

Speaker D:

Cut the radio wire so they can't.

Speaker C:

Radio back or not even do that.

Speaker C:

Just go in.

Speaker A:

Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

Speaker D:

Right.

Speaker C:

Like photos.

Speaker A:

Just sneak in and if you get caught, then plan B.

Speaker A:

Fuck them up.

Speaker E:

Magic doors and stuff.

Speaker C:

Yeah.

Speaker C:

Now just.

Speaker C:

I could literally just ready.

Speaker C:

I could try to sneak in and just take some photos of whatever we need to do.

Speaker A:

Yeah.

Speaker D:

First thing, let's definitely make sure we disable the radio so that we.

Speaker E:

If they do, we don't need them calling other people.

Speaker B:

So Paris is going to try to disable the radio before they notice him.

Speaker A:

Is that correct or is there someone else?

Speaker B:

Now the car, the car is very much in like the kind of obvious line of sight of their, of their flashlights that are going back and they're.

Speaker D:

But they're always shining on the car.

Speaker D:

They're never like.

Speaker D:

Is there a time when, when they are not around the car?

Speaker B:

I would say definitely in classic stealth game fashion, there are times when the car is not lit, but it is, it is often in their, their typical pathway as they look around the front in their path.

Speaker A:

Does it go near the room a lot or is it more just like in the, the front of the, of of the site?

Speaker B:

More, more of the perimeter.

Speaker B:

They're not.

Speaker B:

Again, they're not going around the whole pyramid because there's just too much thick vegetation behind it.

Speaker B:

But there is one dude just standing at the entrance.

Speaker B:

Every once in a while he'll light up a cigarette.

Speaker C:

At the entrance to the cordon, where I'm basically where I'm trying to get to or what we're trying to get.

Speaker B:

Yeah.

Speaker B:

And just to let you know what the cordon is, it's one of those cheap yellow plastic chains that's just kind of set across the front.

Speaker A:

Impregnable.

Speaker C:

It's like just step over it.

Speaker B:

Yeah, it's.

Speaker C:

Yeah.

Speaker B:

No, I think that's your only Weakness is those chains.

Speaker A:

You'll trip, and then you'll hurt your knee.

Speaker C:

Could I crawl?

Speaker B:

So we're not talking about, like, something crazy.

Speaker B:

It would be quite easy to get past that cordon if you weren't seen going up there.

Speaker C:

Yeah, that's what I was.

Speaker C:

That's what I'm trying to figure out.

Speaker C:

Like, I've been watching these guys for 20 minutes.

Speaker C:

I'm wondering, you know, does Frankfurt think he could.

Speaker C:

Or do I think I could get.

Speaker C:

I could just sneak in, but if the guy's standing there.

Speaker B:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker B:

The big problem is that one dude.

Speaker B:

That's your main obstacle here.

Speaker B:

You don't think you could sneak past that guy, Ben?

Speaker C:

You know, honestly, if one of y'all just were, you know, we could.

Speaker C:

If we go back to the, you know, even if they were just to say, hey, let's.

Speaker C:

Let's say we go back to the oh, my car's broken down thing, and they're like, hey, go call someone.

Speaker C:

Even for those few minutes, they're going to walk over and talk to you.

Speaker C:

And that's probably the only window I'd need to sneak in.

Speaker E:

But if we just distract one guy.

Speaker E:

But we don't need him, like calling anyone else to.

Speaker A:

Yeah, let's do the card thing.

Speaker C:

It wouldn't matter because I'd be gone.

Speaker C:

I'd be out of there.

Speaker E:

Chris, is there any way that with, like, my hacking abilities, I could maybe hack into the.

Speaker E:

This local police officers officer's system?

Speaker E:

Anything that they are using security wise to sort of.

Speaker B:

If they have a connected computer in their squad car.

Speaker B:

Maybe I try that.

Speaker E:

Can I, like, see if that's.

Speaker B:

You would need to get into the squad car, I assume, without being seen.

Speaker B:

Because there would be questions if you just walked out of the dark jungle and tried to get into their car.

Speaker D:

Why are you gonna make this game so hard?

Speaker E:

Why does that have to be realistic?

Speaker D:

I'm in.

Speaker C:

All right.

Speaker C:

Predator, Predator stealth, activate.

Speaker B:

Okay, finally you used your predator stealth.

Speaker C:

Yeah, easy peasy.

Speaker B:

Let's do this thing Now.

Speaker B:

Do you actually want to use some sort of stealth spell?

Speaker B:

John, I asked you earnestly because you could maybe ask for help from on high, slash down low between.

Speaker B:

Do you want to be invisible?

Speaker B:

Just ask your weird gods.

Speaker C:

No, I think I'm good.

Speaker C:

In this case, this feels there will.

Speaker B:

Be no consequence except fun.

Speaker C:

I feel like this falls into the realm of my human skills.

Speaker B:

Okay.

Speaker B:

All right.

Speaker C:

Sorry to disappoint.

Speaker A:

So the plan.

Speaker A:

Should I go talk to them?

Speaker A:

I got.

Speaker A:

I'm good at talking to folks I can convince them.

Speaker A:

I don't think we all need to go.

Speaker A:

Obviously whoever's going to sneak in or if that's one or many people would be doing that.

Speaker A:

But I think other people being ready to convince, confront or stop or kill someone would be important in the situation.

Speaker E:

Well, I brought a gun, so I'll be trying to go inside.

Speaker A:

Okay.

Speaker A:

So the plan is I'm gonna go up and talk to them about our broken down car.

Speaker A:

So I'll set the car across the road so it's blocking the road, put the hood up and I'll start walking.

Speaker A:

And I don't know if anyone's gonna come with me or not.

Speaker E:

If I pour some water on there, see if it gets some.

Speaker E:

Chris, what time of the night is it right now?

Speaker C:

Agua.

Speaker E:

Agua.

Speaker B:

It's about two in the morning now.

Speaker E:

Okay, we're well past dusk.

Speaker E:

Yeah, I'll go with Felix.

Speaker C:

All right.

Speaker B:

Felix and Forest are going to engage the officers.

Speaker B:

What are Frankfurt and Faith up to?

Speaker C:

Frankfurt is going to be watching for his moment for when he can sneak into the entrance.

Speaker B:

And Faith, Faith is going to be.

Speaker D:

Working along side Frankfurt in that endeavor.

Speaker B:

So here's, here's my understanding.

Speaker B:

Frankfurt's gonna wait for Faith to sneak his way to his position, guided by his radio directions.

Speaker B:

Once that is clear and the affirmative has been given, Felix and Forrest are going to carefully drive their vehicle, open up the hood, make sure it's across the road, and then walk on foot with flashlights going towards the patrolling police officers at the ziggurat.

Speaker B:

Is that correct?

Speaker B:

All right, Faith, I'm going to roll your stealth for you.

Speaker D:

Oh, thank you.

Speaker B:

It's my pleasure.

Speaker B:

All right.

Speaker D:

Do I get to check it?

Speaker B:

I can't tell you these things because then it would ruin the veiled aspect of me rolling.

Speaker A:

He almost got you though.

Speaker B:

Almost got me.

Speaker A:

I heard it.

Speaker B:

Faith, you go ahead and loudly.

Speaker B:

Crunch.

Speaker B:

I'm just kidding.

Speaker B:

Faith, you go ahead and make your way to the to where Frankfurt is guiding you.

Speaker B:

And you feel a hand on your shoulder and almost start up with a yell, but stifle it.

Speaker B:

It's Frankfurt reaching from an inky black shadow from behind a tree.

Speaker B:

He pulls you behind the trunk as well and nods to you.

Speaker B:

Your eyes have now fully adjusted and you can see this motion.

Speaker B:

And he lets the rest of the team know that you're in position.

Speaker B:

Forest and Felix, you go ahead and drive as far as close as you feel comfortable.

Speaker B:

You don't want to be within engine sound distance of the pyramid necessarily.

Speaker B:

And so you Walk the large panel van as far as you can in neutral and maneuver it diagonally across the road on a downhill spot that you deemed safe, where this would be a decent maneuver to make.

Speaker B:

Go ahead and pop the hood, put it into park, both of you crunch across the dirt and foliage covered path towards Yolotaltli.

Speaker A:

Before we get there, I want to look at Forest.

Speaker A:

Forrest.

Speaker A:

Ms.

Speaker A:

Bennet, I just want to say I'm sorry I was closed off earlier.

Speaker A:

It's.

Speaker A:

It's hard being two people and, well, the person I am today is a person that, well, has his brother and Tiberius didn't.

Speaker A:

So you can understand why.

Speaker A:

Why I don't like.

Speaker A:

I don't like thinking about Tiberius.

Speaker E:

I can't understand that.

Speaker E:

And you don't have to say that right now, but since you did, thank you.

Speaker E:

If I could just really quick tell you something that you didn't know about me.

Speaker E:

The difference in me then and me now is having my parents in my life.

Speaker E:

So I understand to a degree.

Speaker E:

And I just want you to know that I'm here for you.

Speaker E:

And I appreciate that you've been there for me.

Speaker E:

And I know it might be a period you don't want to think about for that exact reason, but you're a good person and I don't want you to forget that.

Speaker A:

I appreciate it.

Speaker A:

It's like a sick.

Speaker A:

It's like a sick joke.

Speaker A:

I wish we could just call it a not.

Speaker A:

Heyo.

Speaker A:

I said it.

Speaker B:

As you make a rocking callback, you go ahead and hear in the distance a man's gruff, bellowing voice.

Speaker B:

And you can see flashlights careening through thick foliage, revealing partial silhouettes of an informational placard and a vehicle parked nearby.

Speaker B:

You hear three distinct beams now are obviously pointed in your direction.

Speaker B:

Frankfurt Faith.

Speaker B:

You watch as these three police officers ostensibly are completely focused on the approach of your colleagues.

Speaker A:

My car.

Speaker B:

You hear them whispering to one another.

Speaker A:

My car.

Speaker A:

Mikado.

Speaker A:

It's kaput.

Speaker A:

It broke.

Speaker A:

I'm lost.

Speaker A:

Can you help?

Speaker A:

Ayuda.

Speaker E:

Seniors help.

Speaker E:

Seniors help.

Speaker B:

The two men that are patrolling the partial perimeter of Yolo Tolshishotli.

Speaker B:

You hear them speaking to each other in hush tones in Spanish, and they both begin striding purposefully towards the cries of Forest and Felix.

Speaker A:

I want to point out, because I realized that we're in a podcast.

Speaker A:

I had my hands up.

Speaker E:

Yeah, actually, I thought the same.

Speaker E:

Like if there's three lights shining on us, hands are in the air.

Speaker B:

There's still a ways away.

Speaker B:

As they close the distance, they can see that you have your hands up.

Speaker B:

They're not drawing their weapons.

Speaker B:

They're just walking towards you with their flashlights.

Speaker B:

At this time, Frankfurt Faith.

Speaker B:

You watch as the one smoking a cigarette near the cordon near the entrance to the pyramid stands straight up and casually flashes his light in the direction of his colleagues, who are now crunching their way towards the helpless gringos in the darkness.

Speaker B:

The officers are now only a few paces away from you.

Speaker B:

Forest.

Speaker B:

Felix, the one in front, says in Spanish, your car's broken down.

Speaker A:

Si, si.

Speaker B:

Okay.

Speaker B:

Where is it?

Speaker A:

It's about, like 50ft back, few paces.

Speaker A:

We were trying to do a U turn and it just died on us.

Speaker A:

I got lost and it's so dark.

Speaker B:

Died.

Speaker B:

It's not the tires, it's.

Speaker B:

It actually, the engine died.

Speaker A:

Yeah.

Speaker A:

I mean, it might just need water or something.

Speaker A:

I don't know.

Speaker A:

But I don't know anything about cars.

Speaker B:

All right, go ahead and roll your persuade versus my humid, please.

Speaker A:

I rolled a 87.

Speaker E:

Is that just him?

Speaker A:

73.

Speaker B:

Just for just.

Speaker A:

Sorry.

Speaker A:

87.

Speaker A:

Yes.

Speaker B:

You're American?

Speaker A:

Yes, American.

Speaker A:

Texan, actually.

Speaker B:

Mm.

Speaker B:

Well, do you have identification?

Speaker A:

Yeah, sure.

Speaker A:

Am I in trouble?

Speaker A:

I'm sorry?

Speaker A:

Am I not supposed to be out here?

Speaker B:

This is restricted area, private property.

Speaker B:

The other one says.

Speaker B:

Oh, well, no, no, it's all in Spanish.

Speaker B:

Forest.

Speaker E:

Me padre es no mechanic.

Speaker B:

The second one laughs, and he turns his attention to Felix.

Speaker B:

No mechanic.

Speaker B:

Yeah, I'm pretty good with engines.

Speaker B:

He nods.

Speaker B:

I can take a look.

Speaker A:

That'd be so helpful.

Speaker A:

Thank you so much.

Speaker B:

Or we're really not supposed to leave our posts.

Speaker B:

Or we can just call somebody out here for you, but it's gonna take hours.

Speaker B:

Oh, could take.

Speaker B:

Could take all night.

Speaker A:

Oh, no.

Speaker B:

Might not even be here.

Speaker E:

No, no, we don't want to know.

Speaker A:

If you could just take a look, please, I'd be so.

Speaker A:

I'd be so happy.

Speaker A:

Please, I.

Speaker A:

I can't be here all night.

Speaker A:

I gotta get my medicine.

Speaker B:

They kind of glance at each other.

Speaker B:

It's just.

Speaker B:

It's so risky.

Speaker B:

We could lose our jobs.

Speaker A:

I won't tell anyone.

Speaker A:

And if something happens, I pay them for their trouble.

Speaker A:

I'll tell them everything.

Speaker A:

I'll talk to the embassy.

Speaker A:

I'll make sure.

Speaker B:

Actually, the fewer people you talk to about us leaving our post just to come this far out.

Speaker A:

I'll tell nobody.

Speaker B:

Honestly, we.

Speaker B:

We should get back to it.

Speaker B:

We'll call it in in the morning and just stay in your vehicle to be safe.

Speaker B:

It's dangerous out here in the jungle at night.

Speaker E:

Wait, you want us to stay in a car.

Speaker B:

You can't understand any of this.

Speaker A:

I'm going to say in English very loudly and angrily, like a tourist, American tourist.

Speaker A:

You want me to stay out in the jungle all night?

Speaker A:

And then back to Spanish.

Speaker E:

They want us to stay out in the jungle.

Speaker E:

Night.

Speaker A:

Back in Spanish.

Speaker A:

I can't believe it.

Speaker A:

I'm just an old man here trying to ask, what, are the police officers here not supposed to help people?

Speaker A:

What do you want?

Speaker A:

Money?

Speaker A:

I can give you money.

Speaker A:

I just need help.

Speaker B:

We'll help you in the morning.

Speaker B:

We'll help you in the morning.

Speaker A:

Make the other one scene.

Speaker B:

Actually, that might make things a little bit less risky for us.

Speaker A:

I mean, like, what is this, $100 risky?

Speaker B:

Pointedly, they both laugh.

Speaker A:

$200 risky.

Speaker A:

That's all I got.

Speaker A:

I got $248.

Speaker B:

Shake their head.

Speaker B:

The first one goes, you'll be safe inside your car.

Speaker B:

Just stay there at night.

Speaker B:

In the morning, we'll call somebody to come tow you out.

Speaker A:

I can't even stay here.

Speaker E:

Felix, what is he saying?

Speaker A:

They.

Speaker A:

They won't.

Speaker A:

They won't come look at the car.

Speaker A:

They won't help us.

Speaker A:

They told us to sit in the van.

Speaker A:

I need my medicine.

Speaker A:

I say back in Spanish.

Speaker E:

Okay, but tell them we were.

Speaker E:

They can't leave us out here with people vandalizing stuff.

Speaker E:

It's dangerous.

Speaker A:

I say back in English.

Speaker A:

They.

Speaker A:

They don't know we know that.

Speaker E:

No, just kidding.

Speaker A:

I start walking up to them with my hands up.

Speaker E:

He needs his medicine.

Speaker E:

He needs his medicine.

Speaker E:

No, I know they can't understand me, but I'm gonna blubber at them anyways because this is a frantic situation.

Speaker A:

I start walking towards them with my hands up.

Speaker A:

Yep.

Speaker B:

They both kind of stand their ground.

Speaker B:

They're smiling.

Speaker B:

First one says, sir, can't help you till the morning.

Speaker B:

We have to stay out here all night.

Speaker B:

So you head back to your car, close and lock up those doors.

Speaker B:

Lots of creepy crawlies out tonight.

Speaker A:

Do they have badges?

Speaker B:

Yes, they do have uniforms and badges.

Speaker A:

I take out a pen and paper or a pen and notepad and start writing down their badge numbers.

Speaker A:

And just kind of being as big of a Karen as I possibly can.

Speaker E:

Yes.

Speaker B:

No badge numbers, but you write down their.

Speaker B:

There is something.

Speaker B:

Patches on their right shoulders.

Speaker B:

San Felipe de Agua.

Speaker B:

You see that?

Speaker A:

I start writing that down.

Speaker A:

I start walking towards their car and writing down the license plate.

Speaker A:

I start yelling at them.

Speaker A:

I want names.

Speaker A:

I want names.

Speaker A:

What are your names?

Speaker A:

I'm taking this to the top, sir.

Speaker B:

If you don't return to your car and stop distracting us from our duties.

Speaker B:

We're going to take you to jail.

Speaker A:

Help me.

Speaker A:

You'll help me then, huh?

Speaker B:

Take you to jail, sir?

Speaker B:

You won't enjoy that.

Speaker B:

The other one laughs.

Speaker B:

So go back to your car right now.

Speaker A:

Why don't you take me to jail?

Speaker A:

At least that way I can get my medicine.

Speaker B:

You won't have any medicine in jail.

Speaker B:

You'll be very sick there.

Speaker B:

So go back to your car.

Speaker A:

I'm not going anywhere.

Speaker A:

He sits down cross legged.

Speaker D:

Jesus Christ.

Speaker B:

One of them walks up to you and wrenches on your arm, puts handcuffs on you.

Speaker B:

The other one walks up to you, forest, and does the same.

Speaker A:

I start, we're going to go yelling police brutality and flopping around.

Speaker B:

That's fine.

Speaker E:

Are they gonna put us into their police car?

Speaker B:

We're gonna move to Frankfurt.

Speaker B:

And Faith, your scene starts where theirs began, where the yelling began.

Speaker B:

You're not privy to the most recent events that we narrated as they are getting arrested for unruly behavior and disobeying police officers.

Speaker B:

What do you do with the time that they're affording you?

Speaker B:

As they seem to be yelling at these men back and forth in Spanish.

Speaker D:

We'Re gonna make our way.

Speaker C:

He is the.

Speaker C:

How's the attention of the third guy?

Speaker C:

Is it someone we could sneak?

Speaker B:

Third guy's watching carefully.

Speaker B:

The yelling is quite heated as they go back and forth.

Speaker B:

He's leaning forward now, allowing his cigarette to burn a little bit.

Speaker B:

He's no longer really puffing on it.

Speaker B:

He's scrutinizing whatever is going on further down the road.

Speaker C:

There's no way we would get inside without him noticing us still.

Speaker B:

Yeah, he would hear y'all come in.

Speaker B:

Just crunching along.

Speaker C:

Okay.

Speaker B:

Far before you got close to the entrance.

Speaker B:

Unless he's deaf.

Speaker C:

Flashbang Eric, either.

Speaker D:

No, I don't think that's a good idea.

Speaker C:

No, it's a joke.

Speaker C:

There's no way we're doing that.

Speaker C:

Frankfurt looks over at Faith, says, well, this isn't going well.

Speaker C:

Whispers, this isn't going well.

Speaker A:

You guys better fucking do something.

Speaker A:

I'm going to jail.

Speaker A:

We are going to jail.

Speaker C:

That really escalated.

Speaker D:

So this isn't the distraction we were hoping to get.

Speaker C:

So this isn't gonna work.

Speaker D:

Faith kind of just looks at Frankus and rolls his eyes and says, we can't do.

Speaker B:

Yeah, boring.

Speaker B:

Super lame.

Speaker C:

Tell me.

Speaker C:

Tell me about this taser that I've got that I borrowed from Felix.

Speaker C:

It's like a.

Speaker C:

I have to be right up on top of somebody.

Speaker C:

Or is it Like a.

Speaker C:

That fires the barbs out or.

Speaker C:

What do we.

Speaker C:

What do we got?

Speaker B:

It's.

Speaker D:

It.

Speaker B:

Yeah, it's a 1D8 stun taser.

Speaker B:

So that's going to be your typical.

Speaker B:

Would fit in a woman's purse taser.

Speaker B:

So yeah, it's handheld.

Speaker B:

You're going to go in and hold it against someone's body in order to complete the current depressing the.

Speaker B:

Depressing the trigger.

Speaker C:

I'd have to either sneak up on this guy or run so fast and get him before he could yell.

Speaker C:

And that's assuming they would even hear the taser going off or this guy going, oh, I'm being tased.

Speaker B:

Yeah.

Speaker B:

Remember how loud taser crackles Are they.

Speaker B:

Are they pretty fucking loud?

Speaker C:

Are they louder than a Jaime like screaming?

Speaker D:

I don't think so.

Speaker B:

Oh, yeah, Jaime Delgado is going to beat that in decibels any day of the week.

Speaker B:

But I'll tell you right now, the two men that are yelling in Spanish and arresting your friends will hear the crackling 100%.

Speaker B:

There's no doubt in your mind you know how tasers work.

Speaker C:

I figured I'm just exploring.

Speaker C:

Exploring the options in front of me, that's all.

Speaker C:

Sure, sure.

Speaker D:

So, Chris, I mean, tell me what you do in our situation when you see the two people you made plans with shitting the bed so spectacularly, would you make them?

Speaker B:

Well, right now they're not shitting the bed.

Speaker B:

Right.

Speaker B:

Right now they're providing a great distraction.

Speaker B:

You've just got one guy to deal with.

Speaker B:

So right now everything's going to plan.

Speaker A:

I'll flip the red carpet out for you guys.

Speaker A:

Come on.

Speaker D:

Not really.

Speaker A:

Okay.

Speaker B:

Right now everything's going to plan.

Speaker B:

You have no idea that they're gonna end up fucking.

Speaker D:

So we got to make our way out that way anyways.

Speaker B:

You're right.

Speaker B:

You're right.

Speaker C:

Okay.

Speaker C:

Okay.

Speaker C:

All right.

Speaker C:

So that doesn't.

Speaker C:

I get you.

Speaker C:

So that hasn't.

Speaker C:

We're not that far yet into the or.

Speaker B:

You guys can do nothing and just hang out in the jungle while everybody gets arrested.

Speaker B:

I mean, that sounds amazing.

Speaker B:

Go nowhere with the investigation.

Speaker D:

This is Delta Green at its finest.

Speaker B:

It's for sure, for sure.

Speaker B:

I've got my two fucking operatives in the jungle too afraid to move against one guy.

Speaker C:

What I'm trying to figure out is if he.

Speaker C:

If.

Speaker C:

Because we got to get up to him without him alerting the other guys, you know, maybe I get going sleeper hold and put them kill him.

Speaker C:

But I said sleeper hold.

Speaker C:

At least you know.

Speaker D:

All right, time to lead Us, big man.

Speaker C:

Yeah, I guess, I guess I'm going to.

Speaker C:

Yeah, fuck it.

Speaker C:

Whenever he's going to sneak up on, on this guy and attempt to put him in his sleeper hold, you do.

Speaker B:

See that if you're able to be extremely quiet, which is tough because the ground is, you know, jungle rocky, covered with vegetation.

Speaker B:

It's.

Speaker B:

You've got to go up some steps.

Speaker B:

You can, you can try to climb up the side quietly.

Speaker B:

Maybe he won't hear you.

Speaker B:

But if you scuffle at all and he looks over with his flashlight, you're made because there's, there's no, like, place to hide.

Speaker C:

Could we go around?

Speaker C:

Go around the, the back.

Speaker D:

Is there John calling your dark gods to grant you some sort of stealthiness and just get up there?

Speaker D:

Dude.

Speaker B:

Do you want to, do you want to go around the back, climb up the back of the pyramid and then like jump, jump down Assassin's Creed style from the other side?

Speaker B:

I mean, that'd be a.

Speaker B:

That might work.

Speaker C:

That's not quite what I was thinking, but I love that idea.

Speaker B:

Yeah.

Speaker B:

You've never had problems jumping off of buildings before in this game.

Speaker B:

Yeah, let's climb in them.

Speaker C:

No, this is Frankfurt.

Speaker C:

Paris has problems with buildings.

Speaker C:

All right.

Speaker C:

Paris has problems climbing things.

Speaker B:

Well, keep in mind you also have no real strength in your forearms because they're split down the middle.

Speaker B:

So pulling, pulling up your weight is going to be at a vast detriment.

Speaker B:

I won't disallow it.

Speaker B:

But your athletics, when it comes to a pull up motion or any pull, like a high pull is going to be at probably the greatest detriment I can give you in the game.

Speaker C:

All right?

Speaker C:

So that idea is not going to work either.

Speaker B:

I mean, it might.

Speaker B:

It's still.

Speaker D:

Just do stuff, John.

Speaker B:

You still have a chance.

Speaker B:

You still have a chance.

Speaker C:

Hey, man, you're here too.

Speaker B:

I'm just, I'm telling you, I'm telling you that you have, you have a major injury and we've described it on the cast several times.

Speaker D:

And as a trade off, you does.

Speaker B:

Affect your ability to do a pull up.

Speaker C:

Yes.

Speaker C:

Yeah.

Speaker C:

So I'm not seeing a way to sneak up on this, this one guy without him alerting the other people is what I'm.

Speaker B:

I just told you a whole bunch of ways.

Speaker B:

It's just going to be risky.

Speaker C:

Okay.

Speaker C:

You told me assassins creating off the top of a fucking tower, that's not a deal.

Speaker B:

Yeah, you can climb much.

Speaker C:

I would love to do that.

Speaker B:

You can climb up the back of it and go get, take a Long shit.

Speaker D:

Maybe John will be done.

Speaker C:

No, you're sitting right next to me.

Speaker C:

Eric, what do you want to do?

Speaker C:

What do you feel like?

Speaker D:

I don't have stealth.

Speaker D:

I was relying on you entirely.

Speaker B:

You have 46.

Speaker B:

That's better than competent.

Speaker B:

So you guys gotta like get over like not doing stuff.

Speaker B:

You're gonna have to risk stuff in the game, unfortunately.

Speaker B:

Or just don't do anything.

Speaker B:

Try something else, reconvene, whatever.

Speaker B:

But you're here.

Speaker B:

Have some fun.

Speaker B:

Enjoy yourselves.

Speaker B:

Find something cool to do.

Speaker B:

You've got all sorts of cool stuff.

Speaker B:

If you want to create a distraction, try to create a distraction.

Speaker B:

If you want to just straight up kill the guy, kill the guy.

Speaker B:

I mean, just do something.

Speaker C:

I mean my original plan was to just, just sneak up on them and put him in a sleeper hole.

Speaker D:

Just do that.

Speaker B:

That's okay.

Speaker B:

That's what so.

Speaker B:

So there's a couple of ways you can try to sneak up the steps.

Speaker B:

Maybe you can crouch down really low and then just like pop up at the last minute and rush them.

Speaker B:

You can try to climb up again.

Speaker B:

Athletics is at a detriment for you because you have a major injury.

Speaker B:

You can try to climb up on the other side, which are very large slabs and scuffle your way up to come at him from that way.

Speaker B:

You're still going to cross a little bit of terrain in order to get to him.

Speaker B:

Totally can do that too.

Speaker B:

There's two obvious ways to approach this man who's standing in front of the entrance immobile at this time.

Speaker B:

The non obvious way was already suggested.

Speaker B:

That's going around back.

Speaker B:

Climbing up the sort of vegetation engulfed side of it.

Speaker B:

It's a little bit more unknown.

Speaker B:

Trying to get all the way to the 50 meter summit, then coming back down from the summit to get this guy quietly.

Speaker B:

So there's just like the world is your oyster, man.

Speaker B:

Just what do you want to do?

Speaker C:

I'm going to sneak up on him and do a sleeper hold and we're.

Speaker B:

Just going to go which direction, buddy?

Speaker B:

Like I gave you a lot of directions or a different direction if you have another idea.

Speaker C:

The steps.

Speaker D:

Just the front.

Speaker B:

Okay.

Speaker B:

And Faith, what are you doing?

Speaker D:

Oh, I'm Faith.

Speaker D:

Okay.

Speaker D:

I'm following.

Speaker E:

Indeed.

Speaker B:

You're following him.

Speaker B:

Okay.

Speaker B:

Hell yeah.

Speaker B:

Sounds good.

Speaker B:

All right, let me go ahead and roll.

Speaker B:

The lowest stealth in the group.

Speaker B:

You guys are about the same.

Speaker B:

Yeah.

Speaker B:

You both take this moment as your colleagues begin to yell back and forth and the two patrolling officers begin to stride forward, away from you and towards past their vehicle, towards the Gesticulating Spanglish of Felix, and you make your way crouching down low, a very low monkey crouch, to the steps that lead up to the entrance of Yolotal Shoshotli.

Speaker B:

Keeping your heads as low as possible, you deftly, quickly run up the steps.

Speaker B:

The man's eyes are fixed on a point behind you, a point that is punctuated by again, yelling.

Speaker B:

And he doesn't even seem to realize that there's movement in the darkness below his eyeline until it's too late.

Speaker B:

Frankfurt.

Speaker B:

When he does hear you, and he does, you're already within two feet of him, right in front of him, and you watch as his eyes flicker down into what you know is darkness.

Speaker B:

Darkness that's going to be a blind spot for him since he's been fixed upon the halo of his flashlight for so long.

Speaker B:

But his eyes do dart down as you rise up to meet him, and you watch almost in slow motion as the flashlight dips as well to potentially illuminate your form.

Speaker B:

And Faith's behind you.

Speaker C:

Yeah, I was going in for the.

Speaker C:

I guess it's unarmed.

Speaker C:

I was gonna go in to try to put him in a sleeper hold.

Speaker B:

It's at a plus 20%.

Speaker B:

Go ahead.

Speaker C:

39 out of 80.

Speaker E:

Woohoo.

Speaker B:

You go ahead and bring your forearm up, your damaged forearm up to his throat, and you grab the hand that's holding the flashlight and you swing around your bulk, maneuvering his body with yours as you are suddenly behind him, pinning the flashlight holding hand behind his back as well as keeping your forearm at his neck.

Speaker B:

And you bend him up and backwards, forcing him to gasp.

Speaker B:

When he gasps, the moment you've been waiting for, your forearm clutches tighter.

Speaker B:

You do not allow any more air into his lungs.

Speaker B:

At that point, as you hold him tight, he struggles against you.

Speaker B:

He can't call out, he can't cry.

Speaker B:

His eyes wide, bulging, they fix upon you, Faith, as you loom out of the darkness in front of him, a giant Canadian.

Speaker D:

I pull my knife from my boot and I stick it between his ribs on his side.

Speaker B:

He groans in pain.

Speaker B:

He makes a horrible whimpering, guttural sound as Frankfurt continues to hold him tight.

Speaker B:

Blood flows down over your hand onto the stones below, splattering thick and hot.

Speaker B:

It only takes a moment for him to stop struggling until he goes limp, blood flowing out of the wound.

Speaker A:

Dang, you murdered a guy.

Speaker B:

Both of you roll your sanities from violence.

Speaker B:

If you're not inured, I believe Frankfurt's inured, so you don't have to roll.

Speaker B:

You're just gonna Take the.

Speaker B:

Take the damage as if you passed.

Speaker C:

I thought we were just gonna put him to sleep for a bit.

Speaker C:

I didn't realize we were killing him.

Speaker A:

Faith in one thing, and that is his knife.

Speaker C:

Oh, my God.

Speaker B:

Would either of you like to project any potential loss?

Speaker B:

I can tell you, there's always loss when you kill somebody.

Speaker D:

Oh, for sure.

Speaker B:

Whether you pass or fail.

Speaker D:

Yeah, I think Faith is gonna definitely project on his wife.

Speaker D:

Even though they've been having kind of some difficulties lately, she is a constant source of.

Speaker D:

Of calm in his life.

Speaker D:

You know, he returns to her as a.

Speaker D:

She's his confidant, his.

Speaker B:

His.

Speaker D:

His love.

Speaker D:

And he's.

Speaker D:

He uses that love to ride him through this moment.

Speaker B:

That he roll a one D4.

Speaker C:

Cool.

Speaker B:

It's a four.

Speaker B:

You're going to lose four from your wife's bond.

Speaker B:

That's a big hit.

Speaker B:

And you're also going to use four from your willpower in Frankfurt.

Speaker B:

Are you gonna project?

Speaker C:

That's.

Speaker C:

That's fine.

Speaker C:

I'll just take it.

Speaker B:

Frankfurt.

Speaker B:

You didn't realize Faith was going to shank the guy, but he did.

Speaker B:

And it was effective because he bled out, at least to the point where he could no longer stay conscious.

Speaker B:

And you just feel dead weight now against your forearm.

Speaker B:

He's not struggling against you at all.

Speaker B:

He's not even trying to take in breath.

Speaker B:

You think he's probably dead or his heart just immediately gave out from the shock of being stabbed.

Speaker D:

Faith removes the knife, wipes it off on the guy's shirt and puts it back in its holster.

Speaker D:

Alright, let's go.

Speaker C:

Does Frankfurt feel compelled to rip one of this guy's teeth out because.

Speaker D:

Not your kill.

Speaker B:

You bitch.

Speaker C:

Not Frank.

Speaker B:

Go to roll your sanity.

Speaker B:

That's a great fucking question.

Speaker C:

Like, do I want to take this?

Speaker C:

I didn't actually.

Speaker C:

I helped kill the guy, I guess.

Speaker B:

But rolled my save.

Speaker B:

You absolutely feel like you got to collect a tooth from this one.

Speaker C:

Fucking shit.

Speaker C:

Okay.

Speaker B:

Absolutely.

Speaker A:

Remember, if you put a body in a bush, nobody can see it.

Speaker A:

Ever.

Speaker D:

That's what we're doing.

Speaker B:

If you want to suppress that acute episode of having to rip a tooth out of a corpse.

Speaker B:

Corpse that you're partially responsible for making a corpse, you may roll a 1D4 to do that.

Speaker B:

Otherwise, have fun.

Speaker C:

No, no, I'm not gonna.

Speaker C:

Why would I suppress the urge?

Speaker C:

Good grief.

Speaker C:

I gotta get them teeth, man.

Speaker D:

Come on, you tooth fairy.

Speaker D:

Let's get it.

Speaker A:

Give me them champas.

Speaker C:

Yeah, so he's gonna.

Speaker C:

Oh, no.

Speaker C:

It's like.

Speaker C:

Well, since you killed the guy.

Speaker C:

Yeah.

Speaker B:

It's in the darkness, in the silence, only last broken by Faith's harsh whisper.

Speaker B:

You feel the urge again, back of your skull, scratching, scratching, telling you that it's time to indulge.

Speaker B:

It's time to take a trophy.

Speaker B:

It's time to feel alive and purposeful.

Speaker C:

Yeah, but how's it usually do?

Speaker C:

It just reaches in and grabs a hold of one and pulls right?

Speaker B:

Why don't you describe your actions?

Speaker A:

It's radio.

Speaker D:

This is radio.

Speaker C:

Everyone was reaching in and ripping this dude's teeth out.

Speaker C:

Find your.

Speaker B:

I'm happy to describe it for you if you need me to, but I was hoping you'd have fun with it.

Speaker B:

If not, I got it.

Speaker C:

I'm just not used to doing it.

Speaker B:

I'll make it real gross for you, that's all.

Speaker C:

I just haven't actually had to narrate that bit before.

Speaker B:

Frankfurt.

Speaker B:

You look up at Faith, who has just told you that it's done and it's time to go into the darkened entryway of Yolotal Shoshotli, and you nod, never letting go of the man's dead neck.

Speaker B:

But you let go of the hand holding the flashlight, which falls to the stone floor below you, rolls forward and stops against Faith's foot, and your fingers dart to the man's mouth and you stare at Faith as there's the sound of wrenching.

Speaker B:

You wiggle an eyetooth back and forth, back and forth, until it explodes out of the man's mouth.

Speaker B:

Flurry of blood splatters against Faith's lapel, front of his shirt.

Speaker B:

You let go of the man.

Speaker B:

He slides to the ground.

Speaker B:

You barely notice.

Speaker B:

You hold your trophy up to the sky, the twinkling stars of which there are so many, more thousands than you remember seeing the last time you looked up at a night sky.

Speaker B:

You hold this tooth up and it gleams, gleams brightly, and joins those myriad constellations of the heavens.

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