Everybody wants the new life. Almost nobody wants to pay the admission price. We love transformation, breakthrough, reinvention, abundance, intimacy, sovereignty, and the new identity. But every meaningful creation rearranges reality. Something has to move. Something has to shrink. Something has to end. And sometimes what has to die isn't a behavior. It's an identity, an excuse, a defense, an old belief, or a version of yourself that once protected you but no longer belongs in the world you're building.

Key Takeaways:

• Why meaningful creation requires destruction
• The illusion that transformation should be easy or fast
• Why every new creation displaces something else
• Creation as selective destruction
• What we are willing to stop carrying
• Releasing fear and old stories
• The hidden work behind transformation and breakthrough
• Trading old habits for new outcomes
• The difference between external behavior change and deep identity change
• Changing identity rather than simply changing behavior
• Kellan's experience with lying and rebuilding his relationship with truth
• Sovereignty and releasing the identity of excuses
• Intimacy and the need for vulnerability
• Leadership and releasing the need for approval
• Excellence and ending accommodation to mediocrity
• Learned helplessness, addiction to mediocrity, and victim mindset
• The danger of addiction to being right
• Why growth can feel dangerous
• Becoming comfortable with discomfort
• Why the old self should not be hated
• Honoring the survival strategies that once protected us
• Why protective strategies can have an expiration date
• Giving old strategies new roles
• The grief of expansion
• Grieving old friendships, routines, identities, and roles
• Why loss and creation almost always coexist
• Birth, graduation, marriage, and other examples of creation and loss
• The admission price of a new life
• What beliefs cannot come into the new world
• What excuses have to lose their power
• What identity may have to die
• Refusing to pretend you want a destination if you're unwilling to pay its price
• Choosing what gets to run the construction site of your life

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Real creation requires destruction.

Like, everybody likes the resurrection, but nobody's very interested in the funeral.

Welcome to the show.

Tired of the hype about living the dream.

It's time for truth.

This is the place for tools, power, and real talk.

So you can create the life you dream and deserve.

Your ultimate life.

Subscribe, share, create.

You have infinite power.

Welcome to ultimate life.

This is going to be a tough episode.

Tough for me to deliver.

Maybe it won't be tough for you to hear, but it is going to be a balancing act.

Because on the one hand, it is intended to be confrontational.

It's intended to push hard, to push some buttons and be deep.

But it's also intended to be full of the deepest love that I've got to give.

So with that sort of contradiction in mind, let's review a couple of things.

Your ultimate life is a life where you live it exactly on your terms.

It's a life.

And I, and I say that with this most sincere seriousness.

A life on your terms.

What does that even mean?

We are so conditioned to think that everything's got to be download and double click, that it has to be easy, that it has to be quick, or if there's a plan, it isn't that hard, right?

I go to the gym and it's fluffy and easy, and I do a couple of circuits and magically, in two or three months, I'm buff.

You know, we.

We expect.

And if it's harder than that, there's got to be a hack or we're doing something wrong.

So when I said that about, you know, everybody likes the resurrection and nobody advertises the funeral, here's what it's trying to get to.

Every meaningful creation displaces or pushes out something else.

If you buy a piano and put it in your house, it's going to have to move some furniture, right?

Especially if you want to put it in the best place.

Like there's places that make sense to put a piano and places that don't make any sense to put a piano.

Maybe it has to do with the sound, Maybe it has to do with accessibility.

Maybe it has to do with when someone's practicing, it doesn't disturb the rest of the house.

It could have to do with all that, right?

But wherever you put it, you know, it's got to move something.

Any new creation in our life is the same way.

Now, if I buy a doily, right, I don't have to work very hard to figure out where to put it, right?

And.

And a piano is different.

So A tiny creation in our life may not displace anything.

But if you're talking about sovereign architect, where you design your life and you live a life exactly on your terms, that's going to require changing a lot of things and how many and how hard they are depends on how far you are right now from living your ultimate life.

And I use always the words purpose, prosperity and joy.

What are the words you use?

If I say purpose, prosperity and joy, what pops in your mind?

Sometimes people use the word money or freedom or healing or health or whatever.

And my for me, purpose, prosperity and joy includes all those.

But we've all learned to attach meaning to certain words.

So what are your words?

Some new things can't really live until something old loses its authority.

So, for example, if I want to have confidence in my interactions with people, I have to lose fear.

I have to lose some old stories and excuses in my head about why I can't have it or things that are, you know, blocking me from having it.

We all love a transformation story.

You know, that's why stories like the Rocky trilogy and or quintilogy, however many now, because there's a redemption arc, there's a, you know, not very well known underdog that, you know, achieves the world.

We like that story.

That's like why I said everybody loves the resurrection.

And part of the movie's attraction was the Philadelphia steps.

Running up and down the steps and doing all that and sweat.

But even those scenes represent just a tiny, tiny fraction of what's actually required.

Now, if you read the Stallone story, or at least the one I've read, ones I've read online, you know, living in his car and trying to pitch that script and on and on and on for who knows how many years.

He wouldn't settle for less than not only making the movie, but being in it, right?

And finally he got it.

And we all know what happened.

So we love transformation, we love breakthrough, we love reinvention, we love the new identity piece.

We love the abundance, the acclaim, the redemption ark, you know, we love that the person who was dead and is now alive, the person who was sick and now healed, the underdog that proved them all wrong, the person that said, you know, the bridge can't work and they build the bridge or the war can't be won and they win Invictus, you know, the rugby championship.

We love the new identity.

We love abundance, we love deep intimacy, we love sovereignty, we love excellence, right?

We love those things, the movies, the stories, things in our own life when we Achieve that, or some part of that or some version of that.

We love that feels so good.

But when we.

And but's the wrong word, period.

We love that.

And in creating that, we have to ask some questions.

What am I willing to stop carrying?

Because creation is not additive, certainly not only additive.

Your life is full.

I say often, and I'm being funny.

Nobody sits around, feet on the desk, staring at the ceiling, counting acoustic tile, ceiling dots.

I don't know if you have those, but in every office I worked in for a long time, they had those, you know, acoustic ceiling tiles.

Even got them over my head here in this very nicely finished basement, guess what?

They've got little holes in them.

It has to do with the design and how they work with sound.

So nobody sits with their feet up, counting the dots.

Creation is selective destruction.

You prune a plant so it'll grow, Brent.

Be better.

So it'll grow better, right?

We've got to release something.

And here's a.

Here's an example.

If I want to speak confidently from stage, I have to release stories that says I can't.

I have to release old experiences where I failed.

I have to release presentations where I was made fun of or I bombed and the boss yelled at me.

I. I have to, you know, end some other things.

I might have to end a relationship.

If I want true intimacy, I might have to end a relationship, and I don't even mean necessarily with another person.

Maybe I've got to end a relationship with an old piece of me.

It's hanging on to a story that I'm not worthy, or that I'm not enough, or that I'm unlovable, or that I can't be deeply vulnerable and intimate on a consistent basis with anyone because I'm flawed.

So I might have to end that kind of story.

I might have to demote some piece that has had a high status.

Here's something, some examples along the way.

When I was chasing the brass ring in the corporate world, I was chasing promotions, titles, you know, supervisor, manager, director, vice president, cxx, you know, coo, CEO.

Chasing those titles and more money, more authority, telling people what to do and to.

And, and it led me to dark places.

You know, you guys know the stories.

And it doesn't have to, but it often leads to loneliness and failure.

And it often, almost always leads to the realization that accomplishment of money, status, title, and corner office is not happiness.

Those.

It might make you feel good for a minute, but they're not happiness.

The money, the status, the title, the position.

It Isn't happy.

Happy is joy.

It is love.

It is service.

It is kindness.

It is excellence.

Those things feed happiness.

Another thing that has to happen is if I want to create something new, you know, I've got a trade I've got to trade.

Because you know what?

The new life, the new life that you might be yearning to have has a cost.

There's a ticket price to get into that place.

So sometimes trades are obvious.

So I'm, I.

Everybody knows I do the book challenge right now as I'm recording this, it happens to be next week.

And then we'll do a couple next year, like we've done a couple this year.

So if you want to create a book, some entertainment time, TV or other things may have to die.

If you want to create fitness, some sedentary habits may die.

If you want to create financial reserves, some spending may die.

If you want to create mastery of some kind, some casual use of time may die.

And you know what?

Those are the tiny trades.

And they may not feel tiny.

Like if you want to change how you spend your money, that can, for some people, that can be really hard.

But anyway, and, and to create mastery, casual use of time, I'm always reminded of two things.

Martial arts and piano.

Spent a lot of time doing both of those.

Thousands, tens of thousands of hours on the piano bench practicing, studying, learning, exercising fingers and, you know, music theory and on and on.

And so it wasn't trivial.

Martial arts, the same thing.

A lot of pain, a lot of time in the dojo and, and studying and learning.

And maybe you have two or three or maybe a lot of things that you're world class at.

I still think those are all pretty small.

And the reason is because they're external behaviors I've seen in my life personally and in coaching clients.

External behaviors are easier to manage than others.

Other things, internal stuff, deep creation is way harder.

Okay, external behaviors.

Quit doing this.

Quit saying this.

Even if you have a habit, have a habit of being sarcastic.

Maybe you just do that every time somebody says something.

Your habit is to be sarcastic.

Come back with a quick comeback.

Whack, whack, whack.

I remember an old magazine called Mad magazine.

It was supposed to be funny, a little bit irreverent and funny.

They had a section in all, every issue or most of them said snappy answers to stupid questions.

And the cartoons were funny and the answers were funny and they were all sarcastic.

So maybe you're sarcastic and you've learned to do that, and you decide for whatever reason, relationships or work or whatever, I don't want to do that anymore.

I don't want to end.

That doesn't mean I end being a little bit sarcastic or irreverent, But I want to choose it more carefully, and I don't want it to be automatic.

Boom.

And you think, man, that's just an ingrained habit.

I can't stop doing that.

You can.

All you have to do is notice and choose.

The minute you start noticing, the minute you, you know you're going to say it, or after you've said it and you've decided to change it, you'll notice it in a different way and very quickly.

Within a week, you'll notice it right before you say it.

And when you notice it before you say it, you can quit doing it.

Notice and choose.

That works every single time.

For those external behaviors.

Swearing is the same thing.

Stop.

Words like, you know and, well, you can get rid of all those.

All you have to do is decide and then start noticing.

So let's get to deeper creation.

When you.

When you want to change something that you are deeply, it.

It's much harder.

You have to change your identity, who you are.

And I'll give you a habit that I had.

I used to lie.

It's embarrassing to admit, but there was a period in my life where truth was fluid.

And I said whatever I needed to say in a given situation to get the result I wanted.

And that was true at work, it was true at home, it was true to myself.

And I was literally, I. I think of it literally, a pathological liar.

And I did it to protect myself.

I did it to create the world I wanted.

And I was spectacularly good at it.

And for some reason, I was blessed or cursed with the ability to remember everything I said easily and fluidly.

So I could just carry on without anything.

So it was very, very rare, if ever, that I was caught in contradictory statements.

But I decided, man, I do not like this.

I don't like me as a liar.

I don't even know when the last time I told the truth was.

I remember saying that to myself.

So I had to not just catch myself in lying.

I had to change the truth in me.

That I needed to manage every situation, that somehow I was vulnerable unless I, you know, created the framework that took a lot of internal choice about vulnerability, about truth, about accepting consequences, and about changing the behavior that created the consequences in the first place.

So There are identities inside of us that cannot cross.

If you're creating.

I was creating truth, so I had to get rid of the lying.

If you're creating sovereignty, which we talk a lot about, ultimate life, you know, you live your life by design, exactly like you want, on its own terms, on your own terms, then the identity of excuses can no longer remain in charge.

You can't have that as your identity.

I mean, excuse creator.

If you're creating intimacy, vulnerability has to go up.

The possibility that somebody may or may not like you or support you have to.

You have to deal with that and not just grit your teeth.

But it has to be okay.

Some defenses have got to die.

If you really want intimacy, if you're creating leadership, real leadership, not yelling, boss in charge or ship, but leadership, then the need for approval might have to die.

Certainly universal approval.

If you choose to create excellence, then your accommodation to mediocrity has got to die.

Something I notice is most people, and I say most way more than 50%, 80, 90%, live in a swamp.

And I call the swamp Learned helplessness.

Addiction to mediocrity and victim mindset.

Learned helplessness is the idea that I just can't do anything about it.

And so that becomes our excuse.

Addiction to mediocrity means settling.

You just accommodate instead of create and change and victim mindset.

You know, everything happens to me.

It's not my fault.

Those bad guys, bad stuff, those things have got to die.

If you're going to create excellence, if you're going to create peace, your addiction to being right has to die.

Now, you could misunderstand that.

I'm not saying be a doormat or give in to everybody or simply agree to be agreeable.

No.

Peace is a willingness to surrender to rightness, to goodness, to truth, to love.

It's a willingness to explore.

It's a willingness to change.

It's a willingness to understand that where I am on my walk through life is, number one, different than everybody else's.

And two, that everybody else's is just as good as mine.

And maybe, just maybe, in fact, I would say far more often than not, it doesn't matter that much.

And you can have peace by allowing different things to coexist.

So addiction to being right is a poison.

I live in Canada, but you see this so much in politics in the U.S. holy crap.

Fighting, yelling, screaming, name calling.

Everybody's going to die.

Democracy is going to explode.

Like, what are you people down there thinking, right?

So your addiction to being right, people scream at each other and won't even go into conversation.

Let's say you're creating wealth, well, your own identity around money, selling, deserving risk, receiving all of those things might need to change and change dramatically.

If you're creating truth, where you live and you exist from truth, you speak only truth, you do what you say.

You are exactly who you seem.

And there's no camouflage or duplicity or guile.

Guile is a word that I love that means, you know, hidden motives and agendas.

If you're creating that truth, then it certainly was true with me.

Some carefully curated version of yourself has got to go.

The managed version where we, you know, we manage that carefully because we're worried about witot.

What I think others think WITOT is a fungus.

Look it up.

The WITOT fungus.

W I t o t. I'm joking.

It stands for what I think others think.

And at the beginning of COVID I created that name, the WITOT fungus.

And I said WITOT kills more people than covet ever will.

And because these things have got to change, growth can feel dangerous.

And so we have to.

If you want to grow, if you want to grow in any meaningful way and not just tiny millimeters, you're going to have to be comfortable, become comfortable with that discomfort, with that dangerous feeling.

The unknown.

We are stepping into the unknown when we do that.

Not because the future is bad, but the old self, the old version of whatever that is that's got to go here.

Wow.

You may not be needed anymore.

You may be, yeah, out to, you know, out of date.

Your sell by date is expired, your use by date is passed, and you're not useful anymore.

So that is a really important thing when you think about what has to happen when we really want to change.

Because the new life has got a price now.

There's a really important nuance to describe here, and that's this.

I have never found it helpful to make the old self bad.

I used to do that in spades.

So let me give you a silly example.

I, for whatever reason, have always had the idea I needed to get up early and get after the day.

And because, probably because I was raised this way as a kid, five o' clock was the number.

But it could have been four, could have been six, whatever.

But for us, five o' clock was the number.

So I internalized that.

And then I went through a period of hating it.

I'm not going to do anything anybody tells me.

I'm not going to get up till I wake up.

And then I thought, I'm not productive enough.

So I went back and so I've settled again on 5 o'.

Clock.

Not that there's anything magic about 5am Maybe there is, I don't know.

But anyway, here's what used to happen if I didn't get up at 5, or if I did get up at 5 and things took longer than I wanted.

The exercise, the shower, the self care, the, you know, breakfast, whatever, if anything.

And I got behind or even if I was done with self care and I jumped into business recording a podcast or writing a thing or creating some emails or whatever, and it took longer than I wanted and I got quote behind or I got it done, but then I took too long in between.

I went and talked to my wife for a while.

I got quote behind immediately.

I was hate.

I hated myself.

Why can't I keep to a schedule?

Why can't I get done what I want?

Why am I always slow?

How come everybody, you know that kind of story?

And so I hated.

I hated my old self.

Only the problem was it happened every day.

And that led to this whole drama of I'll never make it, I can't do it, not good enough, blah, blah, blah.

So I don't care what you want to change.

And I don't do that anymore.

I've completely overcome that.

And if you want to talk about that, get a hold of me.

Your ultimate life podcast dot com.

Your ultimate life podcast dot com Yourultimate Life podcast dot com.

There's a contact form and put in the subject line, don't hate the old self.

And that way I know what you want to talk about if you, if you've changed, like there are some serious things.

Not only was I a pathological liar, I.

Or times, periods.

And I was a drug addict, okay, I use substances like a crutch, alcohol, sometimes other substances.

And so that had to change if I wanted to be a person of integrity and so forth.

And it has.

But the temptation is to hate the old self.

Ooh, I used to be rotten, stinky, ugly, messy, a disaster.

I have never found that to be helpful.

So whatever it is you're creating as growth, more money, more time, more intimacy, more skill, right?

Whatever the skill is, don't hate the old self.

The old survival strategy, whatever it was, may have saved you.

I.

For me, that's true.

The old strategy saved me.

Saved me from literal death, from suicide, from destruction.

The defenses existed for a reason, and so do yours.

And they have an expiration date.

There is a time when the circumstances change.

And the old strategies not only don't work, but they become harmful.

So it isn't necessary to hate the version of you that needed that strategy, but it is necessary to move beyond it.

In fact, what I've discovered is I love the old self to death that used that strategy to save.

It's not who I want to stay, it's not who I want to be, but I love it.

I love the strategy and I love the person.

That defense exists for a reason that that smaller version or more attacked or bruised or injured version.

Maybe you needed protection, you needed to protect belonging.

Maybe it prevented punishment both in real life for me, physical reality and imagined reality.

Preventing punishment was a big one for me, creating safety.

Part of the lying strategy was I perceived myself as safe because I was able to manage everything.

Maybe it kept peace around you.

Maybe it literally enabled survival spiritually or physically.

So don't yell at it, don't spit on it, don't diss it and throw it away.

So don't, you know, hide it under the bushes.

Man, I did that so much.

I couldn't stand who I was, so I hid it and pretended it away and did all kinds of stuff.

So instead of spitting on it, say thank you.

Thank you.

You did a great job.

I love you.

I literally love you.

Call it up on stage and give it an award to a vigorous and riotous standing ovation.

Thank it.

And then say you're no longer needed to be in charge.

We don't need this kind of protection anymore.

I literally had that conversation you.

And I thanked her.

I called that individual the protector.

And some other time I'll give you a full blown blow by blow of how that happened.

It was amazing.

But anyway, up there gave him an award and all that stuff.

An Oscar for everything they did.

And I said, you know, but your role has changed.

And I didn't say you're no longer in charge.

Maybe that's a charged way to say it, but here's what I did say.

I said, I need you to protect me from something else.

The things you were protecting me from don't exist anymore.

The world, my circumstances and stuff has changed.

And so I do need your skill, your capability, your awesomeness at protecting me.

But I need you to protect me something from something else.

And so that is a powerful and a more mature or more advanced or more successful form of destruction.

I'm not destroying the protector.

I'm destroying the I.

The illusion that the old stuff needs protecting from.

I don't need that.

You don't go to old me was pathetic.

Instead, this whole Architecture served an earlier world.

So I'm building a new thing.

Got a new thing going on, right?

Honor the strategy that got you here, and you don't got to give it a lifetime contract.

It's over.

That situation is done.

Now it would be easy and maybe obvious to see.

Maybe I'm on a battlefield and there's bullets and shells flying, so I'm always keeping my head down in a foxhole or behind stuff.

When the battlefield is over and there's no longer bullets and bombs, if I continue physically, you know, shrinking or putting my head down or emotionally, ptsd, being frightened by everything, that isn't a functioning strategy.

So I need to do something to honor the strategy that got me here, because I didn't have my head shot off.

But I'm not going to give that a lifetime contract.

You know, I had.

I have had and needed some treatment for ptsd.

Maybe we all have had traumas that need some version of that kind of help.

I don't know, and I'm not going to say, but we need to do it.

Why?

So that we have the opportunity to change and grow and create new.

Because our life, our life's full of the old architecture.

There's no room now.

Another thing I want to talk about is something I call the grief of expansion.

And you might say, what?

Well, sometimes growth hurts even when it's right.

Real easy.

Examples are this morning, I worked out.

Working out is painful, especially with my back.

You know, my disc between L5 and S1 is gone.

The nerves are pinched, so I've got to be careful.

And it hurts sometimes.

And that is pain of expansion.

Practicing.

You know, muscles get sore, fingers, arms get tired.

But, you know, that's pain of expansion in a more internal or emotional way.

You might grieve old friendships, even though they need to end.

You might grieve old routines that need to change so you can create the vision that you have in your mind.

The higher, better, more powerful, more joyful, ultimate life version of yourself.

Maybe you need to grieve familiar old identities.

I needed to.

I had an arrangement.

I had multiple people on stage, and one of them was the protector.

And this was the stage of my mind.

But I needed to grieve very much the loss of that familiar relationship that I had with my protector.

And so I did it by renegotiating their role.

New things to protect me from, to use their skills.

But it was difficult to get away from the old identities.

Sometimes we grieve past versions of family relationships.

People relate to you in a Certain way.

And when you change, it no longer works.

And so you're changing it.

And sometimes, you know, it's hard.

Anger, frustration, because you're not the same person.

And then you scream, I'm not the doormat I used to be.

Maybe there's a loss there that requires some grief.

It's okay.

Mourning changes is sometimes really important.

Maybe we have to grieve some particular predictable comfort, right?

We have a particular routine that was comforting in a weird way.

You can think of alcohol and drugs.

That was predictable comfort for me.

I had to lose that.

And when, especially in the beginning years when things happened that would have, you know, I would have answered that call before.

That was predictable comfort.

And I had to find it in new ways, which I did.

Maybe we give up former dreams that are now too small for the truth of who you are.

Maybe you give up a role, the role of people pleaser, the role of fixing everything.

The role of, you know, some of those roles that are like codependence and stuff.

Maybe you love that role and you need to give it up.

And just because there's some grief or pain involved doesn't mean the change is wrong.

Loss and creation almost always coexist.

Birth itself ends the pregnancy.

And birth is, you know, enormously painful.

And I'm a man and I have not experienced it, although I have been present for 10, because I have 10 kids.

And I have seen it and participated in it as much as a person can with, you know, being deeply present.

But birth ends the pregnancy, graduation ends being a student, right?

Marriage ends some form of independence.

You become a collective.

You become together.

And sometimes there's a grieving of that loss, getting into relationship, partnership, you know, marriage.

It does.

It absolutely changes you.

You don't have to answer to anybody, do whatever, and you have to make some agreements.

But it, you know, there comes some form of interdependence.

So here's the point.

Creation, acts of creation that you and I do, they rearrange reality.

They rearrange reality.

And even.

Even correct decisions can carry some form of grief.

So I started way in the beginning by saying, you know, that the new life has an admission price.

Well, if there's something you genuinely want, whether it's a physical thing or a different piece, a different life arrangement, whatever it is, you have to ask yourself what's got to stop in order to make room for this new thing?

What must be reduced?

What's got to be smaller, you know, to.

In order to make room for this new habit, this new behavior?

What Ideas or thoughts or actions have to be released.

You know, the new language about weight is I'm releasing weight.

Okay?

Whatever it is, if you want to be in better shape and have better cardiovascular performance, you need to release very likely some weight.

I certainly went through that.

My late 30s, I was 80 pounds overweight.

I was a fat dad and I had to release a lot.

So for a year, I had to do some very focused and specific work.

And I did it and it worked.

I lost 90 pounds actually, and put on some muscle and it was all good.

But I had to release that in order to get what I wanted, which is I want to be in shape and be able to play with kids because I was having little kids.

That.

So whatever it is you want to create, right?

What you got to ask, what must be released?

Here's a tough one.

What belief that you have can't come with you into the new world?

If you're going to be a millionaire doing an online business, you can't bring the old money beliefs with you.

If you're going to be a powerful public speaker, you can't bring the belief that I just can't do this with you.

You can't bring the belief that I got nothing to say and nobody will listen.

You can't bring that belief with you.

What excuses have to lose their power, lose their jurisdiction in order for you or I to create meaningful change, meaningful growth, to do acts of real creation.

Because the new life, the ultimate life, if you're not living the ultimate life and you want to live purpose, prosperity and joy, there are some comforts you've got to let go.

There are some excuses you've got to dump.

You can't keep protecting the old way.

Maybe there are some relationship agreements with yourself or with others that have got to change.

What identity may have to die, right?

One of the things that I saw so often as I did rehab work and got rid of alcohol and drugs, people would say, well, I'm just going to be moderate.

For 99% of people who have had substance problems, there's no such thing.

Because the substance didn't function just.

Just as a thing to do.

It functioned as a substitute for reality.

And so what had to go was, I need anything to get me out of reality.

I don't need anything.

I've got to deal with reality as it is.

And so moderation almost never was an option.

If you're going to create a new life or a new thing or a new level of wealth or a book that you finish or a product Or a new relationship or a level of intimacy.

What are you willing to trade?

Now, here's the hard one.

And I said in the beginning, this is going to be a little slap.

If you are going to refuse the admission price, are you willing to stop pretending that I want that destination?

And say out loud, I don't want to ever get in shape, I don't want to ever be wealthy.

Are you willing to stop pretending you want something if.

If you're unwilling to pay the admission price, that's not a condemnation, it's truth.

Because pretending that you want this but you're unwilling to pay the ticket price means you either live in misery, I want it, I want it.

And so you're always living in misery.

You know, learned helplessness, addiction and mediocrity, victim mindset, blaming others.

Or you're lying and cheating and you're trying to find a hack.

How do I jump over the fence?

How do I take cuts?

How do I get in line?

How do I shove people out of the way?

How do I make people give me what I want, even though I haven't paid the price?

So here's the truth.

The new life, whatever it is, does have an admission price.

Not because life is cruel, because it's not.

But two incompatible architectures can't occupy the same ground forever.

You can't be a liar and a truth teller at the same time.

You can't be rich and poor at the same time.

You can't be happy and miserable at the same time.

You cannot be full of hate and love at the same time.

You got to decide what you're building.

And then you've got to decide what no longer gets to run the construction site.

That's true of a building, it's true of your heart.

And it's true of your ultimate life.

I love you.

These things that I share with you have come from my own experience, long and hard earned.

And I share them with you because I love you and because I know you deserve every good thing that can exist.

And you deserve 100% to live from this moment forward in your ultimate life, Right here, right now.

Your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you.

Every episode gives you practice practical tips and practices that will change everything.

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