If you’ve ever been told to “just do some informational interviews” when exploring a career change, this episode is for you.

I’m sharing exactly why the traditional approach to informational interviews drives me up the wall – from the selfish ask, to the hidden job request, to the way it distracts you from the real work of figuring out who you are and what you want.

Instead, I introduce my philosophy of “networking like a midlife human” – a generous, human-centred way to connect that honours people’s time and builds genuine relationships.

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Networking like a midlife human

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Hello and welcome to the Joy At Work podcast.

I'm your host, Lucia Knight, and here's this week's question from a listener, and

I'll warn you, it sounds so innocent, but it sparked a rant I didn't quite expect.

I've heard you say you're not a fan of informational

interviews, especially when it comes to exploring new career paths.

Can I ask why?

Hmm.

Informational interviews.

Now, if you've read, what color is your parachute?

The original version is from the 1970s.

You'll know that it popularized an idea, the idea of informational interviews

as a tool to figure out career moves.

And while that book was brilliant for its time, we're now living in

a different world with different humans, different demands, and much

more complex relationships with work.

But still, every few weeks I hear someone lovingly recommend informational

interviews, and every single time it hits a nerve, not just a, Ooh,

that's an annoying kind of nerve.

I'm talking torch to the Celtic Fire Fury.

So today I'm leaning into that fury.

Today I'm channeling my inner bold Lucia.

Let's talk about why informational interviews in their traditional

widely recommended form in rage me.

Let's start with a definition.

An informational interview is a conversation with someone already

working in a role discipline industry or company you're curious about.

So you can gather insights, build connections, and test if it's a

good fit for your own next move.

That sounds harmless enough, doesn't it?

But even that definition makes me itchy.

It's all about you, your questions, your career, your change, your decision

making, and what it says, sometimes loudly, sometimes subtly, is this, I

don't want to put in too much effort.

I like you to hand over your lived experience in exchange for, well, nothing.

At all, really?

Ugh, yuck.

It's like being with a self-absorbed teenager who wants the keys to

your car, your life savings, and your Spotify password, all while

giving you an eye roll in return.

So let's start there.

The first reason I strongly dislike informational interviews is that

they are fundamentally selfish.

Yeah, I said it selfish.

Not human centered, not kind, and certainly not generous.

They're based on a transactional mindset.

Give me your time, your insight, your knowledge, and I'll disappear

into the miss afterwards.

Here's the reality for midlife professionals.

The ones you are targeting for these interviews, they have no time.

If they did have spare time, they'd be gifting it to a delayed project.

A daughter of school play they've missed twice.

Or a team member who's just lost a parent.

Time isn't a free resource.

It's precious, it's golden, and asking someone to gift you their golden moments

without offering anything in return.

That's not just poor career strategizing, it's pure bad manners.

In my programs, we do something very different.

We practice a philosophy that I call networking like a midlife human.

It's got generosity sewn in.

And three assumptions underpin it.

Number one, everyone is drowning in work, so treat their time like gold.

Two, everyone's work is challenging, so offer help, lightness or relief.

Three, everyone has messy human stuff going on in their real life beyond work.

So add to the joy, or at very least, have empathy about the pain.

You give before you ask.

You research before you request.

You build a connection before you try to use it.

Reason number two, informational interviews are often a thinly

veiled request for a job, an intro or access to their world.

Now, let's be very honest here, a lot of people who request informational

interviews aren't just asking for insight.

They're asking for a hidden second favor, and it starts with, could I

just pick your brain for a few minutes and ends up with, also, could you

introduce me to your boss and maybe mention me in your next team meeting?

Ugh, it's manipulative, it's clumsy, and it's deeply awkward for the person

on the other end especially if they're kind-hearted and hate saying no.

You've essentially turned a gift into a grab.

And it's not just bad etiquette.

It's brand damage, not just personal brand.

Your reputation as a human, how you show up everywhere matters.

I've had this happen to me, and it feels like being sucker punched by

someone you were trying to help.

It's that teenager thing again, and I've already got

two real teenagers in my house.

I don't need a third in a midlife body trying to sneak into my

network to do more damage.

My network is filled with lovely humans who would never do this to me or to anyone

else, and I couldn't in good conscience.

Let that happen to them.

Reason number three, informational interviews are often a

distraction from the real work.

Here's the big one, then I'll stop raging.

Honestly, I'm normally a very calm celt.

Informational interviews make you feel like you are making progress.

Without actually doing the deep work, you come away feeling busy, like you've

achieved something, maybe even clever.

You might tell someone about your great conversation with X, Y, or Z. You've had

a conversation, you've taken action, but you don't actually know what you want.

What your unique offering to the world is, your superpowers in my

language, or which problems in the world you truly want to solve.

You are still just spinning, distracted, outsourcing your decision

making to other people's stories.

And here's the clincher.

In my argument against informational interviews, you might have wasted

someone else's golden time and your own.

All because you skipped the hard but meaningful steps of figuring out

who you are, what matters to you, and where you truly want to go next.

So am I saying never do informational interviews?

No, I'm saying don't do them badly.

Don't do them early, and definitely don't do them like a lazy

teenager with a LinkedIn profile.

In my experience, here's when they do work.

When you've already identified your superpowers, when you've

done the reflective and analytical work to understand the

problems you care about solving.

When you've contributed to someone else's work by reading,

commenting, showing up for them.

When you've asked for a warm introduction from someone you already know, like, and

respect, after explaining exactly how much work you've done already to make the

most of those potential golden moments.

And when your ask is thoughtful, respectful, and human.

In those rare cases, it's not even an informational interview anymore.

It's a generous mutual conversation.

Two humans exchanging energy and ideas, not a transaction, a connection.

A seed in a long-term garden network that has the potential to grow into a

mutually beneficial relationship sapling.

And that investment of both your golden moments sounds as joyful and fierce to me.