For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs gives an honest, straight comparison of face-to-face and online anger management programs. Whether you've been Googling your options, looked at a few programs or just aren't sure where to start, this episode cuts through the confusion and helps you make a decision that actually moves you forward.

Rather than giving a vague "it depends" answer, Alastair draws on 30 years of running both formats to tell you clearly which works better for most people and why. And the good news is that with the right format and the right support, change happens faster than most people expect.

Key Takeaways:

1. Face-to-face programs can be powerful — but retention is the real problem. When you learn something once a week, life takes over and most of it fades before the next session.
2. Online programs work because of repetition. You can pause, rewind and revisit lessons until things stop being ideas and start becoming habits you actually live by.
3. In a face-to-face group, you learn alone and go home to a partner with no context. Online, many couples go through the program together, and that shared understanding changes everything.
4. Research backs this up. A Swedish study found that a well-designed online anger management program reduced anger and aggression significantly, with results better than traditional face-to-face interventions.
5. The best program is the one you'll actually complete. If you need the accountability of showing up somewhere in person each week, face-to-face may still be the right fit for you.
6. Whatever format you choose, the most important decision is to start now. Anger doesn't tend to improve on its own. But with the right tools, it changes faster than most people expect.

Resources & Next Steps:

If you'd like support choosing the right path and taking your first step toward controlling your anger:

1. Visit angersecrets.com
2. Book a free 30-minute phone call
3. Access the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"

If you've been thinking about getting help with your anger, really getting help, not just searching on YouTube for how to control your anger and watching another video, at some point you've probably asked yourself this.

Should I see someone in person or will an online program work for me?

It's a fair question, and honestly, it's one I hear all the time.

Maybe you've already googled it.

Maybe you've looked at a few options and felt more confused than when you started.

There are group programs, individual therapists, online courses, apps, and everyone seems to be telling you something slightly different about what works and what doesn't.

Here's what I want you to know.

After 30 years of running both face to face anger management programs and my own online program, and after working with more than 15,000 men and women, I have a very clear view on which format works better for most people and why.

Today, I'm going to give you an honest comparison.

No sales pitch, just a straight answer so you can stop wondering and make a decision that actually moves you forward.

Hello and welcome to the Anger Secrets podcast.

I'm Alistair Dwes and for over 30 years I've helped more than 15,000 men and women control their anger, master their emotions and build calmer, happier and more loving relationships.

If you'd like my help to do the same, head over to angersecrets.com you can book a free 30 minute call with me or grab my free training on how to break the anger cycle.

But first, let's talk about what each of these anger management options actually involves and where each one stands up and where it falls short.

Let's start with face to face anger management programs, because for most people, that's the more familiar option.

Face to face anger management programs typically involve attending sessions in person at a therapist's office, a community centre or a clinic.

Most of them are run in groups, usually with somewhere between 10 and 20 people.

Sessions tend to run for two to three hours and programs usually last anywhere from 12 to 20 weeks.

Over the last 30 years, I've personally run more than 2,000 face to face anger management group sessions.

So I'm not guessing when I tell you what works and what doesn't.

I've seen it up close thousands of times.

And here's the honest truth.

Face to face programs can be genuinely effective.

I've seen people transform their lives in those group settings.

There's something powerful about being in a room with others who are working through the same struggles.

The shared experience can reduce shame.

It can help people feel less alone And a skilled facilitator can create a real sense of momentum in a group.

But there are some significant downsides and they're worth knowing about before you commit.

The biggest one is retention.

You attend a two hour session once a week.

You learn something valuable and then life takes over.

Work, family, stress.

And by the time next week rolls around, a lot of what you learned has faded.

You're essentially starting from scratch each time building on a foundation that keeps shifting.

There's also the group dynamic itself.

Some people thrive in group settings.

Others find it difficult to open up in front of strangers, especially on something as personal as anger.

And in many face to face programs, particularly those that are court referred, the people sitting next to you may be there because they have to be, not because they want to be.

That changes the energy in the room considerably.

Now let's talk about online anger management programs.

And I want to address the elephant in the room straight away.

A lot of people are skeptical.

They think, can a screen really replace a real person?

Is watching videos online actually going to help me change?

I understand that scepticism.

It's reasonable.

But based on everything I've seen and I've now run my own online program, the Complete Anger Management System, for almost 10 years, the results speak for themselves.

Here's the core reason online programs work so well.

In a face to face session, you hear something once, maybe twice.

In an online program, you can watch a lesson as many times as you need to.

You can pause, rewind, take notes and come back to it the next morning when something isn't quite clicking.

That repetition is where real learning happens.

It's where things stop being ideas you heard once and start becoming habits you actually live by.

A client of mine named Jason put it perfectly.

He said, one of the things I really appreciated about the online format is that I can go back to it whenever I need to.

If I wake up at four in the morning and can't sleep, I can log on and go through a module.

I can work at my own pace, which is exactly what I needed.

Another client, Lisa, said she loved being able to go back through the lessons, take notes at her own pace, and rewatch sections until things really landed.

And Sean, a client who was juggling a busy work schedule, told me that being able to spend 10 or 15 minutes on a lesson whenever he had a spare moment meant he was consistently making progress, even during the most hectic weeks.

That consistency is something face to face programs simply can't match.

And there's another benefit to online programs that I Don't think gets talked about enough, and it's one I see make a real difference in relationships.

Many of my clients in the complete anger management system watch the lessons together with their partner, and that shared learning experience changes things.

Both people are building the same vocabulary, learning the same tools, understanding the same concepts.

Suddenly they're not on opposite sides of the problem, they're working on it together.

That dynamic alone has transformed more relationships than I can count.

In a face to face group program that simply isn't possible.

You're there alone, learning alone, and then going home to to a partner who has no context for what you're working on.

So which one should you choose?

For most people, my honest recommendation is an online program.

Not because Face to Face doesn't work.

It does for the right person in the right circumstances, but because of the flexibility, the repetition, the ability to learn at your own pace, and the option to bring your partner along for the journey.

All of that adds up to a fundamentally better learning experience for most people.

There's also research to back this up.

A study from the center for Psychiatry Research in Sweden found that a well designed online anger management program significantly reduced anger and aggression levels in participants in just a few weeks.

These results were far better than traditional face to face interventions.

That said, if you're someone who genuinely thrives in a group setting, if you need the accountability of showing up somewhere physically each week, or if your circumstances make online learning difficult, then a face to face program might still be the right fit for you.

The best program is the one you'll actually complete.

So the bottom line is whatever format you choose, the most important decision you can make is to start.

Not next month, not when things settle down now, because anger doesn't tend to improve on its own.

But with the right tools and the right support, it changes faster than most people expect.

And if you'd like my help, head over to angersecrets.com you can book a free 30 minute call with me or start with my free training on how to break the anger cycle.

If you're curious about the complete anger management system, you'll find everything you need there too.

And if this episode was useful, I'd love it if you left a rating and review on your favourite podcast app.

It takes about a minute and every review helps someone else who's struggling with anger.

Find this podcast and take that first step.

And remember, you can't control other people, but you can control yourself.

Thanks for listening.

Take care of the Anger Secrets Podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of counseling, psychotherapy, or any other professional health service.

No therapeutic relationship is implied or created by this podcast.

If you have mental health concerns of any type, please seek out the help of a local mental health professional.