Join host Mari Wagner on the Ever Be Podcast as she sits down with author Beth Sri to discuss building a thriving, God-centered marriage. Beth shares insights from her book 'The Good, The Messy, and The Beautiful,' co-written with her husband Edward Sri, focusing on setting foundations for newlyweds, embracing the messiness of marriage, and the importance of faith and prayer. This episode is a must-listen for women desiring to live a Christ-centered life and navigate the complexities of modern marriage.

Beth and Edward Sri's Book - The Good, The Messy, and The Beautiful

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Hey, I'm your host, Mari Wagner,

and you're listening to the ever be

2

podcast where faith meets lifestyle.

3

I'm so excited you're here, whether you're

a new listener or a longtime follower,

4

I know there's something here for you.

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Pull up a chair and listen in for

insightful real life conversations

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and actionable steps on how to claim

the full life God created you for.

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If you're a woman desiring to live

a Christ centered life in today's

8

modern world, then this is for you.

9

Welcome to Ever Be.

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_1_11-20-2024_133208: Hey guys,

welcome back to ever be today.

11

We have a very exciting

guest, uh, Beth Sari.

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She is an author and she's

going to be sharing a little

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bit more about her in a second.

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Um, but basically how this came to

be is I have a marriage group with

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a few other married friends that

we have that we meet once a month.

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And we recently read.

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One of Beth's books that she wrote with

her husband, Edward Sri, um, it's called

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the good, the messy and the beautiful.

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And it was such a wonderful book to

allow us to have good conversations

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around what is a good God centered

marriage really supposed to look like,

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you know, what are areas we can grow in,

um, as well as just some good laughs.

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You had some good stories in there

that definitely brought us some, some

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laughter and joy to our conversation.

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So welcome Beth.

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I'm so excited to chat with you today.

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beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: Thanks.

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So good to be here, Mari.

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_1_11-20-2024_133208: Can you share

a little bit about who you are?

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Maybe just give us an introduction.

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Oh, that

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beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208:

my name's Beth Stree.

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have been married for 25 years

and we have eight children.

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Um, actually just became

grandparents this past summer,

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which is absolutely fantastic.

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I, it was one of those things where

it's like, Oh, it's so amazing.

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I'm like, okay, I believe you.

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I don't have any concept

and I just have to say it's.

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better I ever, ever realized.

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Um, and they live close to

us, which is the literal best.

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And he's just, I, I just adore them.

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It's so fun to see my

daughter as a mom too.

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That part has just been fantastic.

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So, um,

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_1_11-20-2024_133208: is so

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beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208:

have eight kids, eight kids,

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um, five girls, three boys.

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Our is 24, our youngest is eight.

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Um.

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Yeah, that's the essentials right there.

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_1_11-20-2024_133208: you are

an experienced wife and mother.

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beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: I've

done a lot of things, a lot of well and

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probably even more things not so well.

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So

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_1_11-20-2024_133208: Oh, amazing.

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Well, let's just dive right in.

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I kind of just want to start off with a

basic question, but how can newlyweds set

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the foundation for a thriving marriage?

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Early on, like what are some

things that we can do early on?

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And by newlyweds, I feel like we're

talking like first five years of marriage

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I think is a pretty standard term for

you know being called a newlywed So

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what are some things that we can do

as newlyweds to really set a really

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strong foundation from the start?

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beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: yeah.

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So this, this is a great question.

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Um, I guess I would approach it

more like remembering why you

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got married in the first place.

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It's so easy to, to kind of get stuck

in the, the complication or the drudgery

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or the familiarity even life together.

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Um, so if you can remember the

good things about your spouse.

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Why you chose him.

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Um,

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yeah, and then bring those regularly

to mind, I think is a great practice

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with with anyone, whether it's our

spouse, you know, our, our children,

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our friends, our parents, our siblings,

um, to really just honor the goodness

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that is there and and know that

the person standing in front of us.

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Is fully human, which means coexists

with lot of absurdity and a lot of

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woundedness and a lot of other things

and that doesn't, that doesn't lessen

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the goodness of the person with us.

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_1_11-20-2024_133208: Yeah, absolutely,

that's great advice What would

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you say are some common pitfalls

couples might face in those first

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years and how can we overcome them?

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beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: Yeah, you

know, I have to say these questions going

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back to the beginning of all of this.

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I just, it's hard for me to connect.

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Um,

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_1_11-20-2024_133208: Mm hmm

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beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208:

I was such a different person

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back in the day, like seriously.

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And I don't think there were nearly

as many, um, there wasn't as much

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knowledge and information available.

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I mean, I had friends

who were ahead of me.

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stage of life.

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And they were my go to's, um, few books.

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There weren't podcasts.

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You know what I mean?

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Like I'm showing my age

here, but, um, yeah.

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So, so what can you do

to the question for me?

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_1_11-20-2024_133208: Yeah, just like, you

know, I feel like those, those first few

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years of marriage, like we just have such

good intentions, but there's often, um,

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maybe like common ways that people fall

short or just some common pitfalls that

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you might fall into as a married couple,

as you're learning to love each other.

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Well, what do you feel like are some

of those common pitfalls and how

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can we, you know, it's, it's hard

to say, like, how can we avoid them?

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Cause.

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In our humanness, like you said,

we're always going to encounter,

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uh, brokenness and sin and in our

own selfishness in so many ways.

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And marriage reveals that to us for sure.

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But what would your advice be, you

know, to kind of what are those common

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pitfalls and how can you work on them?

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How can you grow?

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beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: Yeah.

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I think self awareness is the

first one to, to really be able to

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acknowledge I'm hurting my spouse here

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_1_11-20-2024_133208: Hmm.

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Yeah.

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beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: that

without shutting down to name it

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without, um, giving into the anger

that might accompaniment accompany

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it and just acknowledge it and

say, I am feeling disappointed.

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I'm feeling misunderstood.

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I'm feeling invisible.

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I'm feeling unlovable.

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I know you love me.

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And for whatever reason, maybe

it's my previous wounding.

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Um, I'm not feeling it right now.

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We can just name vulnerably and honestly

what's going on here, that that in itself

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is like next level, because in order to

say it, you have to what's going on in

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your body, in your heart, in your mind,

in your soul, and be familiar enough with

128

your own movements sense Oh, that's grief.

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Oh, that's fear.

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And then to have the, the safety

in your relationship to say it.

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and I'm saying this now in my late

forties, and this is a new skill for me.

132

So I, I wouldn't want to put this

on someone who's like newly married.

133

Um, because I think there

are natural progressions that

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happen one first gets married.

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I mean, there's the newness of it all

and the excitement and your whole future.

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out in front of you.

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Don't know which way it's going to go.

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I mean, I like in marriage to,

um, space mountain does coaster

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in the dark at Disneyland.

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You buckle up, you get in that little car

and that's your vows, your wedding day.

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And then you don't know

which way you're going.

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_1_11-20-2024_133208: So true.

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beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: down,

sideways, upside down, backwards.

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You don't know.

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You just know the person

who's next to you.

146

You know the person who

brought you together.

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Um, and you, you know that you're

in it to win it, but you don't know

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what life and your marriage and your

vocation is going to throw at you.

149

_1_11-20-2024_133208: Totally.

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beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: does.

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_1_11-20-2024_133208: Yeah, totally.

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And so I love that you're talking,

you know, your advice here is like

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to really lean into transparency with

your spouse as well as, um, like I,

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like really like leaning into your

heart and like identifying like, okay,

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like, what is it that I'm feeling?

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What is it that I'm experiencing?

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Where's is coming from

having that self awareness.

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Now, one thing if you want can touch

on it a little bit, I feel like where

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people struggle with this is a lot of the

times I find people struggle with this.

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Like real honesty, you know, either

with other people or with their spouse.

161

And I think a lot of times the

misconception is that if you're brutally

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honest, it automatically leads to conflict

and people want to avoid conflict.

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So how can you, you know, grow in this

skill of honesty, or maybe like, what

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can you, can we do to receive our spouse

when they're being honest to kind of

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encourage this practice of just like

transparency, um, without there just

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naturally being a defense that lines up.

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With that, does that make sense?

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Mm hmm.

169

Ha ha ha.

170

Mm hmm.

171

Mm hmm.

172

Mm hmm.

173

Mm hmm.

174

Mm hmm.

175

Ha ha ha.

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beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: where

conflict was either shrouded or

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there was a tension you could feel,

but maybe there wasn't a blow up.

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Or maybe for some of us, there was intense

conflict in the home that actually led

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to amputation and rupture in the form

of our parents separating or divorcing.

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That's a very real place to

come from because all of that

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gets stored inside of us.

182

we're conscious of it or not.

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And so we're very careful to,

um, not repeat those things body,

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you know, trauma is in the body.

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And so it's a sort of template

that we see the world through.

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so when we get in similar situations

without us even thinking about

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it, we will react in ways as if

what's happening in front of us

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with our beloved is in the past.

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Um, and so it can take a whole

hot to say, okay, time out.

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That's not where we are.

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am actually safe here.

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are my husband, my wife, we

are sacramentally married.

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We are together before God.

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have chosen you before all others

to be with me in this lifetime.

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You have made a commitment of your life

to me and I want to be honest with you.

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And I know because I know

you, it could hurt you.

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And just feel so much

for anyone in that spot.

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I mean, I've been in that spot.

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It's, that is a really tough place to be.

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And if we really want to grow, then,

then we will say the thing, but in a

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way that we can hope it would be heard.

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Um, and if, and again, sometimes we

need support around us, not our spouse,

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but maybe a therapist, spiritual

director, mentor, good friend, somebody

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that can hold space for us that

maybe we take the feelings to first.

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To like, as a check, Hey, is this legit?

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Should I be feeling this way?

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I don't know.

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Um, am I off base here, know, and then

have them be a sort of, um, mirror to

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us and say, yeah, that makes sense.

210

It'd be good to bring that up.

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But I think sometimes when

we tiptoe around conflict,

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it really doesn't serve us.

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We may have peace.

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_1_11-20-2024_133208: Yeah,

215

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: and

shalom is the, um, you know, it's

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a Hebrew word and we hear it in

the Bible, but it's not just peace.

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It's often translated as peace.

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Well, what it actually

means is right relationship

219

where it's deeper than just like a, a,

a piece of sorts, you know, absence of

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war, It's, we are really for each other.

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We are really with each other

and we are really united.

222

_1_11-20-2024_133208: united.

223

One thing you said that I

really liked was, well, you

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mentioned how we often like.

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Know that we are loved by our spouse

like, you know that deep in your

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heart and yet There's something that

feels like why am I not feeling it?

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You know, like I know you love me but

why do I for some reason not feel loved

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and I feel like in my husband and I we've

been married three and a Half years and

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we've absolutely had these conversations

where we're like, I know you love me,

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but I don't feel loved you know and I It

is brave to say that, first of all, to

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really come to that conclusion of just

like, why are we missing each other?

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And I think it's so helpful to

name that, especially in conflict.

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Um, just to remind each other of

that, to kind of like, almost like

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bring your guard down and like lessen

those walls of like, I know we're in

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a heated discussion, or I know we're

talking about something really painful.

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Let me just remind you,

like, I do love you.

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Or, you know, if the other person,

like, I, I know that you love me.

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I'm, like, trying to hold

on to that, you know.

239

But, here's how I feel.

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And I think those first few years

of marriage, you know, can be, Um,

241

you know, beautiful and exciting,

but also like messy as you're

242

learning to love each other.

243

And part of the selflessness of marriage

is learning to love each other in the

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way that your spouse receives love best.

245

Not the way, not always the

way that is most natural to us.

246

And so while you're like really

learning to do that, well, I

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think it's always good to, yeah.

248

To just do what you were

saying of just like.

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Coming to each other in transparency

and just always giving each other that

250

reminder of like You know, I do love you,

you know, and this is what i'm feeling or

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like I know I know you love me But yet I

think we're missing the mark here Like can

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we just have a conversation about it and

just being really open to like receiving?

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Whatever your spouse is feeling even

if it is hurtful to hear That they're

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not being loved because in the end like

we're always trying our best to love

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our spouse And it, and it hurts when you

hear like, Oh, wow, like I'm trying, but

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like, it's not being received that way.

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Um, this just reminds me of one of

the, one of the stories in your book

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that I, I really loved was, uh, you

were talking about gift giving and

259

how that is like a love language that

you have and how your husband noticed

260

that you really liked the gift.

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This certain type of maple syrup.

262

And so for your birthday, he like bought

you all these cases of maple syrup.

263

And he was like, yes, like I nailed it.

264

Like I'm so intentional.

265

Like I finally got the gift right.

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And, oh, we all laughed when we read

and you're like, but I'm your wife.

267

Like, you know, like maple syrup, why

would you get your wife maple syrup?

268

So talk to me a little bit about that.

269

A little bit about maybe

like love languages.

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I think that's something that is

such a growth, uh, has been for us,

271

like a growth spur in our marriage,

like learning to love each other

272

in each other's love languages.

273

Tell, talk to me a little bit about that.

274

What kind of pasta is it?

275

Okay.

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I've never heard of that.

277

Yum.

278

Yes.

279

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208:

there, you know, like we're

280

not speaking the same language.

281

Um, so it, so love language, I,

I think the, the concept really

282

unlocks that in a certain way.

283

I think there's way more ways to

love someone than just the five

284

that are offered, but it's a great

starting point, you know, so yeah,

285

so I've realized like, um, I think

in general that just like, there are

286

certain ways that my, my husband,

my family really received my love.

287

Um, if we could add more love

languages, my, my husband loves food.

288

He loves.

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Like really well prepared home cooked

meals, especially Italian ones.

290

There's a particular pasta

he wishes I made more often.

291

Um, I usually make it for his

birthday and other specialties.

292

My son in law has actually started

asking for it because he knows he

293

likes it as much as my husband does.

294

It's not that I don't like making it.

295

It's I don't have a good recipe.

296

And so it's a stress thing

because I combined two recipes.

297

You never know how it's going to turn out.

298

It's called Norchina.

299

It's not, it's really not that hard.

300

It's basically, um, a sausage

without fennel, but with cream

301

and then caramelized onions.

302

It's pretty, pretty basic, but there,

there are certain things that are

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just a lot for me to pull together.

304

So, so when we joke about,

Oh, are you making Norcina?

305

I'm like, no.

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But I am thinking something that,

you know, your mom's soup or a

307

matcha or carbonara, you know,

all these different things.

308

So, so anyway, like there are certain

things that I can do for him that he

309

communicated, he's expressed and I

received that he feels loved when,

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as soon as he walks in the door

coming home, light up and smile and

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go over to him and give him a hug.

312

Even if I'm like having the

worst day, even if like, I just.

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You know, did something really dumb or

I'm in feeling something when he's home,

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if I can just take that the 30 seconds to

stop, smile, engage, that can really set

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us on the tone for, you know, having a

really beautiful evening together, don't

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you, that it's not the end of the world.

317

It's just, you know, it's

like an, a missed opportunity.

318

And then there are things for him as

well, that I just need him to, to do.

319

For instance, when we

first were married, um.

320

be in bed talking at night

before we're about to doze off.

321

And we had a custom of always saying

our prayers together at that time.

322

And we'd be talking and then all

of a sudden he would just say,

323

in the name of the father, son,

and he would just start praying.

324

And I'm like, oriented.

325

And then I finally said,

are you ready to pray?

326

Sometimes I'm still thinking we're

talking and you've decided we're done.

327

And you go to pray.

328

And he was like, Oh yeah, totally.

329

_1_11-20-2024_133208:

That's such a guy thing.

330

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: It totally

is, but I can appreciate where he's

331

_1_11-20-2024_133208: Yes.

332

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208:

He's like, I'm tired.

333

I don't want to keep going on.

334

_1_11-20-2024_133208: Yes.

335

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: calm down.

336

You know,

337

_1_11-20-2024_133208: My

husband does something similar.

338

We'll be chatting and there'll

be a moment of silence.

339

And then we have an Alexa in the

room and she'll, he'll just be

340

like, Alexa, turn the lights off.

341

And I'm like, okay, I guess,

I guess we're done chatting.

342

I guess it's time to go to bed now.

343

Just that communication piece, you know?

344

Yeah.

345

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: just

shared something that's, you know,

346

on the more vulnerable side or

something more dear to our hearts.

347

And then something like

that happens again.

348

They don't mean anything by it.

349

Their intention is good and it

can still impact us negatively.

350

And so that's where we can just

bring it up and be like, Hey, I know

351

you didn't mean this and it hurt.

352

What can we do differently next time?

353

_1_11-20-2024_133208: Yeah.

354

Amazing.

355

So your book speaks about the

embracing like the messiness of

356

marriage and just kind of like,

Knowing that that's going to come

357

with marriage and really embracing it.

358

How do you feel like newlyweds can

approach this messiness and this conflict

359

in a way that actually can strengthen

their bond instead of tear it down?

360

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: Yeah.

361

This is the million

dollar question, right?

362

Um, I think it's knowing, I think if,

we've heard, we've heard young couples.

363

Many times over.

364

And I think even the two of us were this

way where you're engaged, you're getting

365

married and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

366

We know people suffer in marriage.

367

We know that some people struggle,

but we're going to do it differently.

368

We're going to keep Jesus in the

middle and we're going to show

369

people, you know, how it's done.

370

People are going to come to our

wedding and have these conversion

371

experiences because there's so palpably

feeling that God is present here.

372

And I, I love that desire.

373

It's noble.

374

know, it's, it's countercultural.

375

It's really making a stand for God

and the beauty of the sacrament.

376

Fast forward, those same couples that

have this beautiful vision and hope

377

and desire, um, start to struggle

and it can be really easy to just.

378

feel intense shame over that.

379

You know, I'm not good enough.

380

We just aren't enough.

381

We couldn't hack it.

382

We thought we were this and look,

we're just as bad as everybody

383

else or something like that.

384

Um, and I would just, I would just

encourage any couple that's thinking

385

that or any spouse that's thinking

that to just really consider.

386

The sacraments working, you

know, when God looks down on,

387

on the couple, he sees a unity.

388

He sees one, um, that word cling in the

book of Genesis can actually be translated

389

to mean glue you are glued to your spouse.

390

And so the fact that you're, you're not

perfectly getting along and perfectly

391

growing and having perfect bliss

means that the sacrament is working.

392

It means that God is working to, to

chisel the two of you down so that

393

you fit better together and that you

fit better into the plan that he has.

394

for you.

395

It's a part of the process.

396

It's not something to say,

Oh no, what have we done?

397

Or we shouldn't have done there.

398

So maybe we just weren't meant

to be, or we're not cut out for

399

marriage or I'm not this way.

400

It's actually no rather God is here.

401

He has drawn us together and he is drawing

us to himself through these difficulties.

402

It doesn't make them less hard and

you still may need outside help

403

and that, that is totally fine.

404

It makes sense.

405

We can't do this Christian thing alone.

406

Um, but it's not a sign of that needs

to be turned into shame fear or anything

407

else that's going to keep us from the

heart of God and what he has for us.

408

_1_11-20-2024_133208: Yeah, that's

a really beautiful reminder and

409

I think very, um, just relatable

to Prophet Circles, especially.

410

I know that being a missionary

myself, uh, in when we first, um,

411

started out our marriage and being

kind of in those like more like.

412

Just like hyper Catholic circles, you

know, when you're in that Catholic

413

community and you're surrounded by so

many wonderful people who are genuinely

414

striving for holiness, genuinely striving,

striving for a Christ centered life.

415

That was something I

hadn't encountered before.

416

Um, I really got involved

as a missionary and it was

417

encouraging and beautiful, but I.

418

I think anybody who's really involved

in those kind of communities can

419

relate to what you're saying.

420

Like there is this like beautiful

zeal of like, we are going to do this.

421

Like we are going to be that God

centered couple, like in our community,

422

you know, in our culture and like,

and it's all going to be great.

423

And it's almost like you feel exempt

from, like, the difficulties of marriage

424

because you have, like, God so, so

prominently in your personal life.

425

And you're like, oh, my gosh,

like, because we're these faithful,

426

faithful Catholics, like, we

probably won't struggle with

427

these things in our marriage.

428

And, um, I just think it's, yeah,

just encouraging and refreshing to

429

hear the words that you had to say.

430

And always to remember that it's not

a place of shame, um, because I think

431

that's so often where the enemy wants

to take us of like, Oh, you thought

432

you were going to be a good Catholic

couple and, and you're struggling,

433

man, that's, that's shameful, you know?

434

And, and we know that

that's not of the Lord.

435

Um, so, yeah, I think, um, One more

thing too, if you could just speak into,

436

yeah, into like couples that really

want to have a God centered marriage.

437

What role do faith and prayer play

in navigating just like all that

438

there is in marriage and how can we

really set a foundation of Christ

439

at the center of our marriage?

440

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: Yeah,

I mean, there are certain practices.

441

Obviously the church is lined out

for us going to mass on Sundays,

442

holy days of obligation, you know,

devotional prayers, things like that.

443

Liturgical living, it's not like

prescribed necessarily aside from Lent

444

and Friday, um, penances and whatnot.

445

So I feel like the church in her

wisdom gives us a lot of that are firm.

446

But then flexibility, know, so I think

primarily praying individuals, there

447

are times where, and this is something

we wrote about as well, where Ted and

448

I, his name is Edward, but he goes by

449

_1_11-20-2024_133208: Yes.

450

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: clarify.

451

Some people get really confused.

452

So the only thing you can't call him

is Ed, because that's my dad's name.

453

So I get very confused.

454

I should call my husband Ed So Ted or

Edward, um, yeah, because we both from

455

our formation before we were married,

we were both committed to daily prayer.

456

And so we just continued that, um,

in the midst of early marriage,

457

it was easy to do together.

458

And then as the kids started coming,

that was a little bit more complicated.

459

And I mean, it's, my prayer

has evolved over many years.

460

Many different ways.

461

Um, but I think, I really think that

just the faithfulness to up to meet

462

with our Lord each day to have that

conversation with him, um, to really

463

seek him first, um, really just gave

us the light and, and the fullness

464

and the grace and the capacity to

then encounter and serve one another.

465

then our children and the other

people that were in our lives.

466

Um, it's almost like if you, um,

if you have a lamp next to your

467

bed, if it's not plugged in,

it's not doing much of anything.

468

_1_11-20-2024_133208: Hmm.

469

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: You

plugged in in order to do what it

470

was made for and shine light on

the surroundings, its environment.

471

And so similarly to be, to be a

wife, to be a husband, to be a

472

mom or a dad, or a son or daughter

of God, if you're not plugged in.

473

daily prayer.

474

are you really going to be able to

shine the light Christ on those around

475

you as fully if you're not united

to him, if he's not your source,

476

if he's not animating your person.

477

Um, and I can't, I have to say like

full, full disclosure, our prayer was

478

not beautiful, fantastic, con consoling,

like just awesome every single day.

479

There were many times for

both of us that it was.

480

It felt rope.

481

felt like we were just, you know,

punching the clock and checking

482

the box God still used that.

483

And God still works that, um,

sometimes through our, our

484

failures and difficulties.

485

There's times where I remember talking

to, um, an old spiritual director

486

and I'm like, I had the horrible day,

this happened and this kid, and then

487

my husband and, and dinner and blah.

488

And she's, and I'm like,

well, did you pray?

489

And I'm like, yes.

490

And that's what makes it crazy.

491

Think about if you didn't pray.

492

And I'm like,

493

I would have been even more off the

rails, you know, and not that have good

494

days or we pray and everything's great,

but there is something about to it,

495

being faithful to it and showing up that

God has something to work with that.

496

And he does, he does come to us and

he does give us more of his life

497

_1_11-20-2024_133208: Absolutely.

498

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: show up.

499

_1_11-20-2024_133208: Yeah.

500

And it's just grace.

501

I mean, I totally relate to that.

502

And like you said, it's not like

prayer is like a genie lamp that we're

503

rubbing, like make everything perfect.

504

But I do definitely experience like

the days when I prioritize prayer, even

505

in the midst of like the craziest day

where I'm like, there is no way I can

506

set aside time to be with the Lord.

507

You know, the day that I actually

prioritize the Lord and do that.

508

Either things magically get done or

even if they don't, there's still

509

like a stillness and a peace about

my heart of just like, okay, it's not

510

going to fall apart and that's fine.

511

And those are just like the

graces the Lord gives us when

512

we, when we meet him in prayer.

513

Okay.

514

You mentioned that your prayer has

evolved over the years and that in

515

different seasons of life, I'm sure

with children and as you have more

516

kids, um, yeah, it looks differently.

517

Can you just share maybe like what has

prayer looked like in different seasons?

518

Cause I think that's a conversation,

um, People really need to hear.

519

People hear a lot about prayer, but a

lot of the times we don't know what that

520

looks like in different people's lives.

521

And I think when we go from one season

to the next, maybe newly married to one

522

kids to two kids, um, there's a lot of

questions around like, what is, what

523

could my prayer life look like right now?

524

So can you just shed some light

on like, what does it look like

525

in different seasons of your life?

526

What are some different examples

of why people can be praying?

527

Yeah.

528

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208:

faithful and flexible, um, faithful

529

that you're just committed to it

and flexible that you're willing to

530

roll with it and do it differently

based on the ever changing seasons.

531

also within is that you've heard, often

talked about prayers being first fruits.

532

You know, and the ideal time to pray

again, ideal, not like only, um, is first

533

in the first thing in the morning, you

know, you've got your coffee and you are

534

in the scriptures or the mass ratings or

your devotional, whatever it is, but you

535

are connecting straight out of the gates.

536

Physiologically, it's a great time

to pray and then mentally waking up.

537

It orders your day.

538

You're seeing with the vision of

Christ and you're ready to go.

539

as I grew in my motherhood, there

is no way because if I were to

540

go downstairs, um, it could be

game over before I even start.

541

And sometimes, you know, when kids

were little, they're waking me up

542

or I'm up all night with a baby.

543

_1_11-20-2024_133208: Yeah.

544

Hmm.

545

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208:

fruits in a different way.

546

And it was the first.

547

Um, and moment where I had choice.

548

Maybe the kids were, the baby was

taking a nap, or maybe the toddlers

549

were watching a show or maybe they

were consumed by a game or something.

550

And all of a sudden I'm like,

Ooh, I might have 20 minutes here.

551

What am I going to do?

552

Am I going to fold the laundry?

553

Am I going to, you know, get online

and scroll through Instagram?

554

Am I going to text that person back?

555

Like what am I going to do

with this pocket of time

556

that all of a sudden I have.

557

And that became my first fruit.

558

Now I'm going to claim this time.

559

I don't know how long I have, but

I'm going to, you know, take out

560

my, my devotional or the Bible

or whatever it is, and really

561

attempt to encounter God in prayer.

562

Um, it's definitely something that.

563

That is evolved.

564

There have been times where I

made my coffee the night before

565

and literally rolled out of

bed and chugged it and prayed.

566

Um, that works really well

until I was so sleep deprived.

567

I had the flu, the worst I've ever had in

my life, a little bit overdoing it there.

568

Um, there were times where I had

to keep my devotional book, in the

569

bathroom because I knew I would

visit there several times a day.

570

Generally by myself

571

_1_11-20-2024_133208: Yeah.

572

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: have five

minutes here, five minutes there, um,

573

to meet our Lord in a semi quiet place.

574

so yeah, it's nowadays I take my kids

to school every morning and I'm able

575

to stay and go to mass with them.

576

Um, and then stay and pray for a little

bit afterwards or drive home and pray

577

at the chapel or sometimes pray at home.

578

Yesterday was a little bit topsy

turvy and I ended up at my kitchen

579

table, which is, It's not difficult

because usually it's so full of people.

580

but it was a very sweet little time

to be in my chair, my place, you

581

know, and just kind of meeting Jesus.

582

In a place where I'm normally

not connecting with them in an

583

intimate way because the bodies of

people I love being all around me.

584

So

585

_1_11-20-2024_133208:

The beauty of motherhood.

586

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208:

just so much to it.

587

_1_11-20-2024_133208: Oh,

that's, that's very helpful.

588

Thank you.

589

Um, if you could go back to your

first five years of marriage,

590

what would you do differently?

591

And what would you keep the same?

592

I think this is a great

question to end on.

593

Yeah.

594

Hmm.

595

Hmm.

596

Hmm.

597

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208:

being open to life.

598

Um, our, our fourth child is a senior

in high school right now, and did

599

his first college visit by himself.

600

Yeah.

601

And I don't know, there's just something

about having them close together and

602

having them come when they would,

you know, when God ordained them to,

603

it was hard, it was a lot and I

wouldn't change anything about it.

604

Yeah.

605

So that's what I wouldn't change.

606

What?

607

I mean, I don't, you sent this to

me before and I'm glad you did.

608

I don't, a hard question to answer.

609

I feel like I'm a different

person now, honestly.

610

So I don't know what I could have gone

back to tell myself that I would have

611

believed, you know, and maybe that's

just a, a witness to the transformational

612

power of Jesus Christ and the sacrament.

613

And when we really give him space to

work and allow ourselves to be vulnerable

614

with him and bring to him all of our,

our deep feelings, our grief, our

615

anger, our shame, our fear when we can

really just be brutally honest with him

616

and allow him to show up and he does.

617

in our pain, like that is where all

of a sudden he stops being just this

618

caricature or this person on a crucifix

or someone that I, I believe in my mind

619

is the God of the universe and I endeavor

to love and serve, but he becomes so

620

much more real and powerful and just.

621

Yeah, everything.

622

So I think I would have gone back

to like, when I look at pictures of

623

my younger mom self, self, I just

would say like, you're so good and I

624

don't think she would have heard it.

625

She'd be like, okay,

yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

626

You're saying that.

627

What do you want?

628

You know?

629

But I think I would just say, you know,

what you're doing matters and it's hard.

630

won't always be this physically taxing

631

and you are building something that's

lasting and that's not nothing.

632

It feels like nothing.

633

Um, especially being in the home,

being isolated, being insulated.

634

It feels really heavy and really hard

and I get it and I see you and that

635

makes sense and there's more for you.

636

keep staying faithful and flexible

and rolling with it and showing up,

637

whether it's prayer or in loving

your spouse or loving your children.

638

Yeah.

639

_1_11-20-2024_133208: Beautiful.

640

That's beautiful.

641

Um, one, one last thing.

642

How do you feel like, like you've

mentioned, you know, like I'm such a

643

different person now than I was before.

644

And I love that you're saying this

because I think, you know, throughout.

645

The years of marriage, sometimes you

hear people be like, well, he changed

646

or, you know, I'm, I grew, I'm different.

647

And sometimes that's

looked at as a bad thing.

648

Like, you know, why are you so different

than when we first started dating?

649

But the reality is like we

grow and we evolve over time.

650

And as we enter into new

seasons and that's inevitable.

651

So how, if you could just let us in

a little bit, like how has marriage

652

changed you and what, in what ways do

you feel like you see yourself now?

653

And you're like, wow, like,

yeah, I'm a different person.

654

Like in what ways?

655

Yeah.

656

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: That

would be a whole other podcast.

657

Um, for me, and we talk about

this in the book, in the chapter

658

on, um, Your family of orphan.

659

Um, for me, the wheels really

came off when we had been

660

married for like 18 years.

661

And all of a sudden I had three things

happen in a row and I couldn't keep doing

662

and being a wife and the way I just Saw

the world and everything in the same way.

663

And it really was a stripping of, of who

I was, of how I interacted, of all that

664

I held dear, um, in a variety of ways.

665

And so I really entered into a.

666

A time of deep healing of

introspection of prayer, um, started

667

going to therapy regularly, not

just like, Oh, a little bit here.

668

And, Oh, I think I'm okay

here, but really just dove in.

669

And, um, it was when I finally

said, okay, I need help.

670

I don't want to feel this

deep heaviness in me.

671

Ache in this raw anymore

that I want to enter in.

672

Um, but that's when, that I feel

like Jesus was like, okay, awesome.

673

We can do this now.

674

You know, now that you're here, that

you see it, that you want it too.

675

Yeah, that he was able to really

show up and, um, show me new things.

676

Take, I feel like I had

to Marie Kondo, my soul.

677

Remember that Netflix?

678

_1_11-20-2024_133208: is.

679

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208:

changing magic is lighting up.

680

I feel like we had to go through so

many things inside and kind of hold

681

it up and say, does this spark joy?

682

And Jesus, where do you

see this in my life?

683

know, and, and are we going to keep

it or where are we going to put it?

684

How are we going to encounter it?

685

Or is it something we need to let go of?

686

Yeah.

687

And continually doing that and then

just growing in, in confidence of

688

what has been put inside of me.

689

my own giftings, my charisms, you know,

the, the things that I'm starting to

690

realize even more, um, have always

been there though they weren't

691

safe to be seen for a long time.

692

So yeah, it's more just growing in

confidence in him and confidence in how

693

he's made me and confidence that he's

still with me and fashioning me and more

694

_1_11-20-2024_133208: Beautiful.

695

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: more in.

696

_1_11-20-2024_133208: Yeah.

697

Thank you for sharing that.

698

Just thank you for your vulnerability

and your openness today as a more

699

seasoned wife to share with us,

um, newer wives, just how to,

700

yeah, how to lean into the Lord.

701

In this vocation.

702

Um, it's been a beautiful conversation.

703

Where can people find your book?

704

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: Yeah.

705

So our book is on, um, Ascension Press.

706

I think it is, and it's also on Amazon.

707

So yeah.

708

Great.

709

_1_11-20-2024_133208: it sure we'll

make sure to link it in the show notes.

710

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208: Thank you.

711

_1_11-20-2024_133208:

Thanks so much, Beth.

712

beth-sri_1_11-20-2024_133208:

You're welcome.

713

God bless you.