What do you do when the picture you had for your life looks nothing like the one you’re actually living?

Actress Rachel Mattila Amberson joins Willow for an honest conversation about unexpected change, motherhood, miscarriage, career dreams, and learning to trust God when life doesn’t go according to plan. Rachel spent eight years in Los Angeles pursuing acting, training with coaches, auditioning, and building a career she loved. But when her husband was offered a ministry opportunity in the Pacific Northwest, Rachel made the difficult decision to leave LA—and the dream she had worked so hard to pursue.

What followed was a season of loss Rachel never anticipated. Her husband’s job fell through, Rachel experienced a missed miscarriage, and she found herself grieving multiple dreams at once. She shares candidly about anger, disappointment, counseling, and the people who helped carry hope for her when she struggled to believe things could get better.

Today, Rachel is mom to her son Zion—and she’s learning that a changed dream doesn’t necessarily mean a dead dream. Her love for acting is still part of who she is, but she’s releasing the belief that her calling has to unfold in one particular way. Instead, she’s learning to hold her dreams with open hands, embrace the unexpected gift of motherhood, and trust that God’s picture for her life may be different—and even more beautiful—than the one she originally painted.

Rachel and Willow also talk about the pressure women feel to choose between motherhood and other dreams, the danger of wrapping our identity around what we accomplish, and the freedom that comes when we stop constantly looking ahead and become present to what God has given us today.

If you’re grieving a dream, wondering why your life hasn’t turned out the way you expected, or struggling to trust God with what comes next, Rachel’s story is a reminder worth holding onto: God isn’t finished with the picture yet.

Meet Rachel Mattila Amberson

Rachel Mattila Amberson is an actress and proud SAG-AFTRA member who has spent much of her life pursuing her love of performing. One of her favorite acting experiences was working alongside Rosario Dawson and James Earl Jones. She’s also a wife and mom who loves soccer, lifting weights, running, hot yoga, baking a good berry pie, and spending time with her family.

After years of pursuing acting in Los Angeles, Rachel’s life took several unexpected turns that challenged her ideas about success, calling, motherhood, and what she thought her future would look like. Through it all, she’s learning to trust that acting is something she loves—but it isn’t the entirety of who she is.

Key Takeaways

• When your dream changes: A different path doesn’t necessarily mean your dream is dead. God may be inviting you to release your expectations for how it has to happen.
• When life doesn’t look like you pictured: Give yourself permission to grieve. Rachel experienced real anger and loss when several parts of the future she imagined seemed to disappear at once.
• When you can’t see what God is doing: Keep choosing trust. Rachel’s repeated prayer became, “God, I trust You. I trust You. I trust You.”
• When you’re struggling to hope: Find people who can believe for you. Rachel credits her sisters and community with helping her get back up when she felt stuck in grief.
• When your identity is wrapped up in a dream: Remember that what you do is only part of who you are. Rachel loves acting, but she is also a mom, wife, sister, daughter, and woman of faith.
• When you’re torn between motherhood and other dreams: Give yourself grace to hold both. Motherhood can become a beautiful new dream without erasing the gifts and passions God has placed within you.
• When you’re overwhelmed by the future: Come back to today. Rachel shares how focusing on the life in front of her has helped quiet the anxiety of figuring out the entire picture.
• When God’s plan doesn’t make sense: Remember that the picture isn’t finished yet. What feels like failure or loss today may look very different when you can see more of the story.

How This Episode Will Encourage You

Maybe you thought you’d be married by now. Maybe you pictured yourself as a mom, imagined a different career, or believed a dream would have happened by this point in your life.

When reality doesn’t match the picture we’ve carried for years, it’s easy to believe we’re behind, stuck, or somehow living the wrong story.

Rachel’s journey reminds us that we can grieve the picture we expected while allowing God to give us permission to dream again. We can pursue the passions He’s placed within us while also being present to the unexpected gifts right in front of us.

And when we can’t see how any of it fits together, sometimes faith looks like repeating three simple words:

I trust You.

God is still painting. And He’s not finished yet.

Welcome to the Collide Podcast. We're a growing community of everyday chicks colliding with Jesus in our mess, our pain, our joy and our stories. We value showing up as we truly are. So that's what you'll find here.

Walls and masks being torn down so that we can allow Jesus to meet us where we truly are and hear about other women doing the same. We can't wait to collide with you.

And sometimes I just had to keep saying, God, I trust you. I trust you. I trust you. Sometimes I'm saying it right now saying I trust you and I'm crying.

But sometimes I just have to keep saying that, God, I trust what you're doing in my life, even though it may sometimes absolutely no sense to me. But I trust that you are working out everything for my good.

Welcome to the Collide Podcast. I'm Willow Weston, the founder and director of Collide and I'm super excited today to have Rachel Mattila Amberson on the pod today.

She is a friend of mine and we are going to have a great conversation about mom life and career pursuits and all the things Rachel has been pursuing acting her entire life. She's a proud member of SAG and AFTRA. She loves acting, whether on the stage or behind the camera.

And one of her favorite acting moments to date was acting with Rosario Dawson and James Earl Jones. She's been married for nine years and spends a lot of her days currently outside playing with their 18 month old son, Zion.

And she has a passion for playing and watching soccer, lifting weights, running and hot yoga. All the things I don't have a passion for. And she loves making a good berry pie.

But her biggest love is spending time with family and today she's spending time with us. Welcome to the podcast, Rachel. It's fun that we get to hang out today.

Thank you.

Yeah. Hey, your little guy is one and a half and he's about, honestly the cutest little guy I've ever seen. Except for, you know, maybe my own son.

I have to kind of be biased, but how has this new transition into motherhood been you?

I feel like every day I am, I'm learning something, learning something new. It was something I never really thought I could really be prepared for.

I probably should have taken a class or they should have offered classes of how to be a mom in college because.

So true.

I don't feel like I was ever really ready. I remember when I was pregnant and I was so tired all the time and I couldn't wait to have Zion so that I Could sleep again. And my friend warned me.

She goes, oh, no, it's just gonna get worse. And that was a big wake up call. The lack of sleep is.

Oh yeah, that's real.

Oh, yeah, very real. These past two weeks, I think he's kind of teething. So we've been up midnight every night for the past two weeks. So it's back to the start again.

But it's great though.

So lots of learning lessons.

Lots of learning lessons, yeah.

It's so funny because I was never the chick who was like, oh, I want to have 2.5 kids and I can't wait to be married. And I didn't have this whole plan. It's totally great if someone does. I just didn't.

And so when Rob and I had been married for almost five years, we got pregnant with our first kid kid. And we had Aiden at the hospital and had all sorts of crazy go wrong with the birth. But when it was time to go.

And I often tell this story because I think it's so funny, you know, they approved us to leave the hospital.

And we got about a block away and we're at the first light away from the hospital, and I was sitting in the back with Aiden next to his car seat, and Rob was driving and I was like, take me back.

To the hospital, I want to go back.

And he's like, Rob's like, what's wrong? Do we forget something? And I was like, we don't know what we're doing.

I think like, that feeling of, oh my gosh, I'm all of a sudden responsible for a human and I don't know what I'm doing. And at every turn, I mean, aiden is now 18 years old. I still don't know what I'm doing. I mean, I'm doing my best with not knowing what I'm doing.

Is that kind of like you're 18 months into that feeling?

Yeah, it kind of is. I remember when I found out that I was pregnant, I didn't know I was pregnant.

And I remember I got a call, I was on a ski trip from the nurse, and she's like, well, you are pregnant and we think there are twins in there. And I remember thinking, what? Obviously there wasn't twins in there, but it. There's just been a lot of surprises.

So when I ended up then taking like four pregnancy tests and I was crying and I was upset, I always thought I was going to be really prepared to have a kid. And then when it finally, when it happened, I realized things were going to change. And I selfishly, I didn't think I was really ready for that.

I always kind of had an idea of how my life was going to go, and I knew kids were gonna go some part in there. And then when it happened, I was almost like, oh, wait, actually, I'm not ready.

But I feel like that's kind of how it's been with my faith and with God. I just feel like all these big moments in my life, I've never really thought I was ready. And God was like, I think you're ready. Hmm.

It's so interesting that you say that, because I think that a lot of women can resonate with that feeling of finding out they're pregnant and recognizing what a big change that will mean for their life. And maybe they don't feel like they're ready for that change.

And I think there might be a lot of, like, shame or unwillingness to admit that that might have been our initial reaction when we got pregnant. And I remember having similar feelings when I got pregnant with Aiden. It just wasn't in my plan. And I loved my career, I loved what I doing.

And the idea of all of a sudden having to make decisions around potentially changing the course I was on overwhelmed me. And I was emotional too. So let's talk about that. What were you doing before you became a mom?

And was it the idea of letting go of your career pursuits that made it hard for you to sort of swallow this, this change in plans?

I think, you know, I go backwards a little bit more from when I, when I moved from Los Angeles, because that's when I moved to. I lived in LA for eight years. And so that's all I did was the reason why I was down there was acting.

And I had a voice coach, I had an acting coach, I took acting classes.

I, you know, went on auditions when I could, you know, filmed when I, you know, got a job, which wasn't always often because it is very hard being an actor. And then moving from LA was tough because we moved because my husband got a job with a church up here.

And so we agreed that we were going to leave Los Angeles, which was very difficult for me. I remember the night that we moved, I was, we were driving, I was crying in the car and I was so upset and. But I was also.

This is time for my husband to, you know, take a leap of faith with his dreams of wanting to be a pastor.

And so I was, I was excited for him, but it also kind of felt like a little bit of a death to this whole idea that I was going to live in LA for so long and be an actor. And then we moved back, and then about two months later, I found out that I was pregnant. And I remember that time finding out I was pregnant.

And I took a pregnancy test and a pregnancy test and a pregnancy test, and they all were positive. And I remember crying then, too, and I was already upset that I had left la.

And then I found out that I was pregnant, and then the job fell through with my husband. And then I had a. I found out that I had a. A missed miscarriage at my first ultrasound. And that was during the week of my sister's wedding.

So that year felt like a lot of hits, and I felt like a lot of dreams were dying. Not for me personally. I mean, for me personally, but also with me and my husband, and then me with the idea of being a mom and all these transitions.

But I felt like a lot of loss that year.

And I remember going in for that ultrasound, and you kept staring at the screen, and the lady got quiet, and I kind of knew by then that something was wrong. And then she had the doctor come in and he let us know that baby was dead. And. And that is called a missed miscarriage.

And I had no idea what that was. So just learning that I had miscarried, but that almost was like.

I felt like my body didn't give up on it, so then it didn't show the symptoms of a miscarriage. So then I had to go back to the doctor's office getting the DNC and just that process.

And then two days later, standing up at the altar for my sister's wedding. So that was a tough, tough year. I feel like I was really mad at everybody that year.

I remember being mad at my husband because I'm like, we came here for your dream. And then my dream kind of died. And then I got a baby, and then the baby died.

And I. I remember just wanting to push everyone away and being really mad at God, that there was just too much. I felt like in one year, luckily I have a counselor that really helped me kind of navigate through things.

Wish I would have gone to counseling sooner in the midst of all of that, because I think with your hormones kind of going down after being pregnant, even though I wasn't super far along in that pregnancy, it was just. It was a lot. So with that, I thought maybe the next time I got pregnant, I was going to be really ready and really prepared for it.

And then I found out I was pregnant with Zion, and I Cried and took, you know, for a pregnancy test and. But I remember being really scared the second pregnancy. I didn't want to tell anybody I was pregnant.

I remember wearing baggy clothes and hiding it a lot. And I don't think I announced it on social media until I think we're, like, at 30 some weeks.

Then I finally felt like it was safe to tell people because any moment I was like, oh, what if I'm miscarrying? So I remember being really stressed out during the.

During the pregnancy, thinking something was always was wrong or something was going to happen, but that was all fear. And, you know, I was able to give birth to a healthy baby boy. And I look back on everything, and I wouldn't change anything.

Although it's been kind of rough since moving back from Los Angeles.

But part of me being a mom now, I realized I kind of had to put away some of my wants and needs and selfish desires of how I thought my life was gonna go, but I wouldn't change it. I mean, I think I look at my son. He's 18 months, but he's my best friend. Like, I love him so much. Mm.

You know, you've been through so much.

When you talk about going all the way back to, you know, the moment of leaving LA to move to the Pacific Northwest, in a lot of ways, you moved away from your dream to help your husband discover his. And that seems like such a beautiful, selfless move on your part. But then you sort of describe the death of dream after dream after dream.

And how long ago was that that you left la?

It would have been actually four years ago.

Four years. So that's so much loss in four years.

And I guess I'm just thinking, you know, you're so brave to share all of this with us today, and I'm wondering, how did you navigate the loss of one dream and another dream and another dream over and over again to the point where. What was it that helped you still hold on to hope that God had a beautiful story that he was going to write in your life?

In the midst of all that loss,.

My sister Kristen, I remember it was so.

I had the miscarry miscarriage in September, and it was in that spring, and I really was still struggling because I felt like that year I was kind of like, in an. Like, stuck in an avalanche, and I kind of couldn't get out, and it kept kind of taking me down and down and down.

And then there was this conference in Texas called Pink Impact, and my sister Kristin told me that she wanted me to go and she paid for me to go and my ticket and everything because she.

I just think, sometimes think that we're not, we're not supposed to go through things alone and to kind of have sister or if you have a friend or somebody, you know, to kind of have that tribe that when you're down, like, they're there to really, like, help you get through it. That was really big.

I remember getting to Texas and I was still very upset and she just knew that I needed just, you know, to kind of have a nice collision with Jesus at that conference, which I did. I remember leaving thinking, okay, I can, I can get back up. Because I think sometimes I.

It's easy to kind of be stuck in the muck of things and it kind of gets comfortable and then the idea of, okay, I can, I can get better, things can get better. Kind of sometimes accepting that was a little. Was hard for me.

But having my having sisters and sisters with faith and kind of praying for me and being there for me, that. That was huge for me. That was a big stepping, stepping up mark for me.

Yeah, I think you're absolutely right.

I mean, we all hit moments where, where we're experiencing deep grief and loss and you can get in a funk where you can stay there for a really long time. And to have your. You called it a tribe.

Have a tribe of people who come around you and they believe for you good things when you have a hard time believing them for yourself, that's just so, so impactful. That's so cool that you have a sister like that. And I love your guys. Love for each other. I've heard lots of stories. Foreign.

Hey there, friends.

We just wanted to pop in here real quick to let you know that if you're enjoying the content in this episode, we think you would also love our free digital download, Getting Unstuck. We know that so many women desire a life free from bitterness, regret, monotony or romance roadblocks.

Yet it feels like you continue to be bogged down by comparison. Unrealized dreams and difficult relationships. We all get stuck.

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Guided reflections, scriptures and more to help you find freedom and unleash you into the life you desire. Once again, this resource is free and it's available now on our website. When you search Getting [email protected] Happy colliding.

Here you are, Rachel, you're four years later.

And when you think, think back to who you were in LA and the dreams that you had to become an actress, and you were pursuing that full time, and you, you sort of in some sense moved away from that for your husband's dream, which didn't work out.

But now, I'm assuming when you talk about your relationship with Zion, your son, and you love him, he's your best little buddy, do you have a new dream for your life or do you feel like you still have some of that longing to pursue acting, but also God has given you, like, a great new passion in being a mom? I mean, where are you at with like, that old dream, that old picture of your life for four to 10 years ago versus now?

I don't think my, my acting dream will ever, will ever die.

Whether or not that's me making it, quote, unquote, big one day, or me being in my 90s still, like helping out, like a local theater or whatever, it's kind of my art, kind of, kind of like what keeps me going. Like, I've been acting. I remember starting when I was really little, writing plays and putting on productions in the, in the neighborhood.

And then I remember taking the same acting class in middle school, because that's the only one they offered, and them telling me, you know, you're taking the same class. And I said, yes, I know that, but I just had to act.

And then I remember in high school, trying out for the school play and not getting it and then not getting it and then getting it. And then just all of my journey of acting, it just takes a different turn.

I think having the idea that I had to be in LA to act, I kind of realized that I was kind of putting God also in a box, thinking that I had to do it this way. And maybe God has a different plan for me with acting than I originally had thought that it was going to be.

I had to be in la, had to get this agent, I had to do this thing, I had to be in this movie and this was going to happen. And a lot of that really didn't happen.

I had a lot of great opportunities with acting in Los Angeles, but moving from LA really took me that moment where I have to trust God and what he was doing. Be like, okay, God, I trust you. I'm moving back home from la. And sometimes I just had to keep saying, God, I trust you, I trust you, I trust you.

Sometimes I'm saying it right now saying, I trust you, and I'm crying, but I. Sometimes I just have to keep saying that. God, I trust what you're doing in my life, even though it makes sometimes absolutely no sense to me.

But I trust that you are working out everything for my good. Although sometimes I might think that it's supposed to be something else. Like, I don't see the.

My grand big picture of it all, but that was the big learning step for me. I also think I had an ego of, you know, being able to be in LA and then coming back was kind of a hit to my ego, moving back home.

But then I got to be a mom, and that has been one of the greatest gifts that I have ever been given, that I get to be Zion's mom. And with still trying to pursue acting while being a mom in the midst of COVID is pretty difficult.

But I just want to be the best version of myself for my son because I want so much for him. I hope he does above and beyond what I've ever been able to do. Not with acting, but I just want. I just want to be a good example to my kid.

And I. I just.

Maybe some days I'm acting, maybe some days I'm not, but I think I had an acting teacher in LA tell me that, you know, you can't have your identity wrapped up in just being an actor, because that's just gonna crumble. You're gonna have highs and lows, and if you don't have that foundation of, like, who you are, then it's. She's like, it's not gonna go so well.

And so knowing who I am, acting is what I love to do. But I'm Rachel. I am a mom, I am a wife, I am a sister. I'm a daughter.

I have a lot of other things that have grounded me, and in my faith, I mean, I don't know. I don't know where I'd be without my faith.

Like, I look back on all, you know, the experiences that I've gone through, and even when I want to push God away, I still want them right next to me. It's kind of like mad kid. I don't want to. Like, I'm mad at you, but I also still want you to hold my hand. Mm.

You know, it's so interesting to talk to you, and I feel like so many women can resonate.

In fact, I was on a walk yesterday with a woman who's very much a part of the Clyde community, and she was sharing how she's just sort of struggling and.

And some of it is Covid related, and some of it is that she had this picture in her life of kind of like where she thought she would be, and she's not there. You know, she wanted to be married, she wanted to be a mom, and she's single. And so we kind of talked about what that looks like. She's feeling stuck.

And. And I could resonate with her and. And I'm not single without kids, but I could resonate for a completely different reason.

I think we all have kind of like these pictures of where we thought we would be. Like, I'm 47. I don't know how old you are, but it doesn't matter what age. If you would have asked me at 30, I would have had a picture.

Like, if you asked me at 35, you asked me at 40, I'm 47. I thought this story would go slightly different than the stories going. And it's not necessarily.

There's parts of my story that aren't where I wanted them to be. So it struck me yesterday when I was talking to this girl and she was saying how she feels stuck.

And I realized you wouldn't feel stuck if the picture you had painted in. In front of you of what your life would look like was a picture of what it currently looks like.

But because it's not a picture of what you thought it would look like, you feel stuck because you're not in the place you thought you'd be. And I think it's so easy for us to struggle with.

With that when we've had, like, these big dreams or longings that we thought it would go a certain way and didn't go that way. And I. One thing I love about listening to your story is it almost feels like God has given. He's. He's sort of changed your picture.

You got a picture and he. He's changed your picture and allowed you to get to a place where you could redream what that picture could look like.

It doesn't mean that your acting passion and pursuit is over. It just might mean that you have that while also he's given you this new dream of being a mom and being a good mom and investing in your kid.

And.

And I love that we get a re dream with God, what our lives can look like. And it sounds like that's what you're doing.

One of the hardest things about that is when we're a mom, there's so many messages out there and so many people's opinions on, well, if you're a mom. You should only dream about being a mom, and you shouldn't be pursuing a career. And.

And I think there are longings and desires and giftings and callings placed within some of us where there's a dream. And it includes being a mom, but also includes other things.

How are you navigating those feelings of you still have a dre and desire to pursue your acting career while also being a really fabulous mom?

So I remember when I found out that when Zion.

When I was pregnant with Zion and I called my agent four months later and I was crying and I told her I was pregnant, and I was so embarrassed and had. I was apologizing to her on the phone that I was pregnant, and she was like, stop. Like, why are you apologizing that you're pregnant?

Like, she's.

Congratulations. So excited for me. But it was this idea in my head that it was. It was wrong. It was a mistake. Like, it wasn't part of this whole plan. And I was.

I felt like I went on this whole apology toward my agent because I felt like I needed to. And she was like, no, stop. Like, you don't apologize. Like, this is. You're just taking another chapter and you're going to be a mom.

And acting will always stop. Still be there now.

Zion was born, and then I had actually booked a ticket for he and I to go down to Albuquerque, where I had met with another agent because all of Netflix Studios is down there. And so then Covid happened, all production shut, shut down. So the whole trip was canceled.

And now it's still that waiting game of going back down there. But I kind of love this past year, just being a mom and growing in my relationship with my. With my husband and navigating being parents.

And then there also has started this, like, whole fear in my head of how am I supposed to do it? How am I supposed to go back to, quote, unquote, work when I get an acting job? Because then I have.

Selfishly, I love being home, being with Zion, and so I just. The acting will always be there, but I think it's kind of has taken a turn because I don't want to miss out on things with Zion a few hours.

And I kind of. I miss him and I want to be hanging out with my kid.

And so sometimes it's kind of like day to day trying to navigate how and how I'm supposed to do it, how I'm supposed to balance being a mom. Still, right now, I am not doing anything by going down to Albuquerque to try to act. But I kind of.

God has kind of brought me to this place where it's like, that's okay, like, today. Like, let's just focus on today. Because if I start getting, like, lost on, like, this whole big picture of what I thought my life was.

Was going to be, you know, anxiety in my mind gets all cluttered with a lot of things. And so sometimes it's just like, Zion and I are in the backyard picking up sticks. His new word is throw, and he's throwing sticks.

And that makes me really happy. I try to do little bits of what I can go towards, you know, with, you know, being able to act and navigating that.

But I guess feel like this past year has really also just taught me to kind of just sit back and be like, okay, life is not where I thought it was going to be, but I get to be this kid's mom for the rest of his life and just experiencing all those new things in his eyes and, you know, him reaching to hold my hand, all those, like, little things of being a mom, like, I. I love that.

That's awesome.

Well, and I love that the picture that God has painted for your life today is the one you're living right now, and you're choosing contentment in the picture that you see today. And I think we spend so much time as women so often being discontent because the picture isn't what we had dreamt for so long.

And so we spend today being discontent that we're not doing X, Y or Z, rather than finding contentment. And this is where we are. This is. God has us here.

What does it look like to be present to now, to be grateful for this, to be willing to surrender and redream that maybe this is possibly where we're supposed to be for a reason.

Yeah.

You know, I love that you. You said earlier there's been so many times where you've had this mantra, I will trust you, I will trust you. I will trust.

And that is a mantra that you're claiming even when you don't see things working out the way that you had once hoped they would.

And that's something that all of us can take from your story, is to cling to God and trust that he is with us, that he's good, that he's loving, even when things haven't worked out or the story hasn't gone the way that we had once hoped it would.

Yeah, I said mar, like, God is, like, rooting for me. Like, he is on my side.

And sometimes I think I kind of would view him as being more critical or, you know, I'm not getting what I want and harsh parent or whatever.

But it just kind of always reminded me of like an acting teacher when you'd go in for an audition and she's like, remember, everyone in that room is rooting for you. They want you to be the one that comes in and is like, kills it in their audition. Like, that's the girl, that's the one that we want.

Sometimes I remember that even, like, with my faith, like, God is always rooting for me. He is always like, Team Rachel. Whether whatever I'm going through in life, he is Team Rachel.

And he is right there to be cheering me on and being my, you know, like, my support, my cheerleader too. Like, my everlasting hope. Like, I. Sometimes I just need to remind myself that, like, God is like he is for me.

Rachel, I could talk to you for so much longer, but I know we have to come to a close.

I do want to ask you, though, when you think about women listening who might find themselves in a similar season that you found yourself in, where there was a death of a dream or a death of a dream on top of a death of a dream on top of a death of a dream, what's your biggest advice to them today?

Big advice would be, it may come look like a death at the time, but it really, really isn't. Because I was just thinking, it was all this, like, idea that I had made up in my mind that this is how things were supposed to go.

And I kind of was showing God this big picture, you know, hey, I had painted this photo or this painting for my life. And then he turns around, he's like, well, what about this one? I'm like, oh, that one? I like, can I have your painting? Can I? Can I have that?

He goes, I'm not even done with it yet.

And so I just have to keep reminding myself that, like, in my mind, these ideas of these quote, unquote failures in my life or the death of things that I really had wished and hoped for, that God is really, in the end, working everything out for. For my benefit. That whether or not I see it at the time, he is working everything out for my good.

And that's why some days I have to say, I trust you. Because right now it doesn't seem like you got my back. But you say that you do, and I trust you.

And I'll look back and I'll know one day, you know, that he was.

Really working everything out. I love that God is painting a picture for you right now, friends, and it's a different picture maybe than the one that you envisioned.

And he's not even done with it. That's a good word. Rachel, thank you for hanging out with us today.

Yeah, thank you.

Thank you for being so honest and open about the hard stuff and the beautiful stuff.

Of course.

It's happy to be here. Yeah, it was awesome.

And for those of you guys listening, keep colliding if you need to have a tribe of women that surround you, that hold up belief for you, when you're having a hard time believing that a better dream, a good chapter is on the way. We here at Kolide can be that for you, and we are right there with you chanting the mantra, I will trust. I will trust.

I will trust that a better story is coming when we're experiencing a story that's really hard presently. So keep colliding, keep trusting, and we'll catch you next week.

Thanks for tuning in to keep up with us.

You can find us on Instagram at We Collide on Facebook as Collide Women, and you can also visit our website at wecollide.net to find our blog resources, event information, and more. One last thing. If you enjoyed this episode, would you take a few seconds and leave us a review?

It seems like such a small act, but reviews help us to keep producing this content and help other women find it too. Thanks so much for tuning in to today's episode and letting us walk with you as you seek and collide with Jesus.