Jody Hill is a bestselling author, speaker, parenting educator, and self-deemed parent sidekick.

Jody Hill helps parents become the loudest and most positive voice in their child’s life by harnessing the power of their everyday words. She is the author of the Amazon bestselling book The Parent’s Secret Superpower, which teaches parents how everyday language shapes identity, builds confidence, and raises resilient, capable kids.

Free Superpower Strategy & Top Confidence Boosters & Busters: https://podcast.itsjodyhill.com

Find Jody on Instagram: instagram.com/jodyhillparenting

Welcome to 12-Minute Converse with Jesus Believers.

God chose first to have a conversation with us, His creation.

Our prayer is that this listening space brings growth and transforms your life forever.

Praise God for you, Judy.

It's one thing being a parent, but helping other parents?

Come on, what motivated you to do that, right?

I noticed the difference in my own life when I started learning different things and implementing them.

And as we know, kids don't come with a handbook.

So if I can help parents in their journey, like skip some of the trial and error, then I'm all about that.

So as I, you know, would share with other parents what I'm learning, they're like, Oh my gosh, this is so great.

And that's kind of how I fell into sharing what I'm learning and then writing a book.

And it's just crazy how God has just really orchestrated everything together.

And now this is what I get to do is encourage other parents to become the loudest and most positive voice in their kid's life.

What was it like writing the book?

It was a challenge.

I didn't set out to have it be this big thing.

You know, I was a single mom at the time, I had just gone through a divorce and trying to figure out how to make money.

And I've got four little kids.

So I'm like, you know, with them all day, and then getting them in bed.

And then as I'm stepping over toys at nighttime, I'm sitting down to write this book.

And it took a pause for a bit.

And as different things in life are coming up and taking my time, and I finally picked it back up about two years ago, and I was like, I am going to get this done.

And I did it.

So I'm so grateful for the Lord helping me to just be able to have that space to be able to finish the book.

What's the name of the book?

So the name of the book is the parents secret superpower.

And it's seven simple strategies to raise confident and capable kids with the power of your words.

Now, you mentioned the divorce, did you ever remarry?

I did.

And that is one of the reasons I took a little break.

Because after I would get my kids down for the night, then he and I would be on the phone for hours.

And so I wasn't really working on my book, but I was talking to him.

And yeah, it's our story.

It's a beautiful story of how God brought us together, but I am married now.

And that's one of the reasons why I actually was able to finish the book is because he was able to step in for a family and take care of some of the financial burdens.

So I could focus on what God has called me to which is really getting this message out to other parents that you have the power to speak life and death and impact your children for life.

And so how are you using your words?

And how can you best use them?

How challenging was it for you though, balancing both roles by being mother and father and having to be a super parent in terms of understanding this is what is needed versus the frustrated version of you that could have simply did parenting by default?

Yeah, I mean, it's definitely not easy.

So one is realizing that God has created me as a mom and as a woman to give something to my children that a dad can't give.

But that also means that I can't give what a man and a husband can give.

And so it's really been a journey of faith of like, okay, Lord, I am going to do the best that I can and I need you to step in and fill in the gaps.

And he loves my children even more than I do.

So I'm like, okay.

So one, it's just been trust.

It's just been a faith journey of trying to do my best.

And then two, I remember there being a season during the divorce process where I found myself frustrated with my kids a lot.

My patience was very low and very thin.

And I was like, Lord, this is not how I want to be showing up with my kids.

And so it was really cool to have God step in.

And instead of me waking up every morning and like, don't be angry, don't be short, don't be impatient.

God was like, what is your aim?

Like, what do you want to be?

And focus on that.

I was like, okay, I am patient.

I am calm.

And then when I can focus on the good, then our behavior, like whatever we focus on is what we're going to do.

And if we're focusing on the negative, that more than likely is how we are going to show up.

And so that was a really good learning experience for me of like, set my mind on positive things and like leaning on the Lord.

And it was just really beautiful how he met me in those ways of trying to take care of four young children and be my best.

And yeah, and you know, my journey and what I share online was just the things that I've learned in those seasons and beyond too.

So it's been a growing experience.

What's the age differences of your children?

So I had all four of my kids within five years.

Yeah, so knocked them out pretty fast.

There was, there was one month where I could claim that I had four children for an under than a month later, my oldest turned five.

So yeah, today, I've got a seven year old and eight year old, a 10 and a 12 year old.

And so they're all under two years.

And I love it.

Like I love having them close together and their buddies and two boys and two girls.

And it's just really beautiful.

Like how God gave me the family that I have.

Is it two boys, then two girls or two girls, then two boys or one one one?

So it's boy, girl, girl, boy.

And so the oldest two, their buddies and the youngest two are buddies.

But what's cool is like, my oldest son is such a good big brother to my youngest son, there's a five year gap between the two of them almost to the month.

And I grew up as a girl.

And obviously, I had I grew up as a daughter, like there was three sisters.

So I didn't know anything about boys.

And when I had a boy, I was like, I don't know what to do with the boy, God, I really want a girl first.

But it is so beautiful how he gave me exactly what I needed.

And to have an older brother, to my daughter, like I never had an older brother.

And I always wanted that.

And it's so beautiful to see God in the relationship.

And, you know, when the brother tries and like be strong and like push her around, which I'm all okay for toughening up.

But it's cool where I get to come alongside him.

And I'd be like, Hey, your strength as a man is not to like dominate and be mean, it's actually to protect.

And I said that at such a young age as they were growing up, and they are like buddies, and their relationship is so beautiful.

Like I love it.

I understand that the work that you've done as a mother, as a parent, as a wife, is definitely worth a master's degree.

Yeah.

And of course, the book would highlight that.

I'm intrigued, though, of the effect that this has had on your other relationships outside of your family household.

Has it?

Have you seen that, that you're able to navigate conversations with others in a different because of the work that you've done with your children?

100%.

You know, the cool thing about how God creates our words is he put life into our words.

I mean, how did he create creation, he spoke, and the word says that we're made in his image.

And I believe that he gave us the power to impact with our words.

And so when I take this message about the power of our words, and how it impacts our children for life, the same goes for our other dynamics, like when we are with our friends, or when we are with our spouses, are we building them up?

Or are we tearing them down?

And so it definitely flows into every part of life, you know, even, you know, with my current husband, I'll notice that, oh, wait, am I like, being encouraging and uplifting with my words right now?

Or am I not?

And so it's such a good continual reminder of God has given me the power of life and death.

You know, it says that in the Bible and Proverbs, life and death are in the power of our tongue.

And science backs that up.

There are scientific things that I love to talk about where it's like, science shows that the words that you speak actually impact the physical body.

So am I doing that for my kids?

Am I doing that for my spouse?

Am I doing that for my relationships?

It's a continual constant reminder.

Tell me some of these strategies that you have for the children, parenting style.

One story that I love to share is to, and so one of my superpower strategies that I share in the book is to empower them for their own missions.

Now, often we think that I'm just going to raise confident kids.

And so it's something that I give them.

And on some level, that is true, like our words can be encouraging, but they often get to earn confidence.

They have to struggle.

They have to learn it.

They have to do it for themselves.

And so the second strategy that I talk about is empower them for their own mission.

So for example, I love my kids and I would do anything for them, even small things.

They're like, Hey, can I get a glass of water?

Sure.

Can you do this?

Sure.

Like whatever.

But if I am constantly doing everything for them, they are not learning themselves.

So there's a story where my daughter was crying as we were trying to get out the door and she was trying to tie her shoe and she was just so defeated.

And what I could have done is I could have come in and being like, stop crying.

You're okay here.

I'll tie your shoe.

You're all better.

Okay.

Let's go.

But I did it.

And that was actually an opportunity for her to try herself with me, hearing her on with me, supporting her and for her to gain that confidence and know that she could do it on her own.

And that's what we did.

I showed her how to do it again.

And I was like, okay, now it's your turn.

And I untied the shoelaces and then she tied them up little struggle, but I'm right there to help encourage.

And then she got it.

And she was so excited.

And that is what we get to do for our kids from when they're tiny little kids to when they're teenagers, instead of just doing everything for them, they get to do it.

So a quick example too, for like my older daughter, she's 10.

She had missed her gymnastics class when she was at her dad's.

And so she wanted to do a makeup day.

And so I was like, yeah, you can call them and you can schedule your makeup day.

And she's like, can you do it for me?

And I was like, no, I was like, you got this.

And so we settled on her emailing.

So she sent the email to them.

She copied me on it and she did it.

And I was so proud of her, but if I were always doing that for them, they can't get the confidence themselves to do it.

What about the children's feedback?

Of course, they're encountering other parents and children and getting feedback on how their parents parent to you get that feedback from them that mom, you would not believe how this person's parent is actually doing that.

Well, like my oldest son is getting into hockey.

And so he's like, you know, his dad is like, I'll just buy you everything when I get the money.

And I'm like, no, you can work for it.

So he's like, but dad, blah, blah, blah.

And I want to raise in my son, like, hey, like a dollar is valuable.

And so if you want something, you can work for it.

So at my house, like if something's important enough to you, like I'll provide opportunities for you to earn and make money.

And yes, I'm your mom.

I love you.

And I will help you earn.

Like I will, you know, pay for some of the things too.

But so there will be like those differences at times for things.

I'm like, nope, you can do it.

That's good.

But a person that's listening that may feel as though they're defeated, though, who are just in that place that you were in, right?

Having children, being in the middle of a divorce, what advice would you give to that person?

I would say what really got me through that season was friends and community, having a really strong support group and my relationship with the Lord.

It is really hard to navigate a divorce.

And then you add kids on top of that.

It's like I could not have survived that without close friends, my church and my faith.

Five years from today, you're listening to this conversation.

What's a message you'd leave for future Jodi Hill?

Oh, man, I would just say keep at it.

Like don't give up, keep spreading the word and keep making a difference because our words truly are powerful.

Love that.

For those that are listening before we leave, is there anything else you'd like to share?

If they go to podcastitsjodihill.com, I give them a free chapter of my book and my top competence boosters and busters, and I would love to bless them with that.

Oh, I appreciate that tremendously.

We definitely have that in the show notes.

Jodi, a pleasure, a treasure.

Thank you for being on What Is Inspired by Torben and Converse.