Shownotes
Overwhelmed choosing what to sell or how to create sustainable income… and worried about picking incorrectly?
In this episode you'll learn:
— My story of failed offers and burnout
— The 5-step process to create a sustainable, aligned offer
— How to know if you have the real energy to deliver it (based on your neurobiology)
Recommended next episodes:
166: 3 Steps to Ease Anxiety After Sales Calls Using Somatic Practices
96: How To Qualify Leads Without Sounding Weird & Salesy (Trauma-Informed Business)
71: Don’t Overcome Fear Of Rejection! How To Make Sales For Sensitive Souls
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This podcast explores the intersection of sales, money, and business success, offering entrepreneurial insights on overcoming the inner critic, burnout, and the unique challenges of ADHD and autoimmune conditions, while integrating polyvagal theory, Ayurveda, coaching, resilience, regulation, and trauma healing to support holistic growth and thriving in both life and business.
Transcripts
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There was this one moment, really early on when I started coaching that has been very difficult for to forget. On paper, everything made sense and I had created the perfect offer, but as I decided to sell it, it turned out that my body really, really did not like it. And it spiraled me into an unfortunate series of events.
📍 By the end of this episode, you will know my stories of failed offers and burnout as a solopreneur for over a decade, a nervous system coach who's been a thousand things, a yoga therapist who sold everything from hats to OCD coaching and the five step process to create a sustainable aligned offer that I swear by.
And how to know if you have the real energy to actually deliver your offer based off of your own neurobiology. So in this moment, as I was selling and creating this offer, it was something that people had asked me for. So I thought, okay, yeah, they want it. And logically it kind of like ticked all of these bot boxes that I'd learned from business coaches.
It made sense, but every time I sat down to look at it, I would feel this like constriction and tightness in my chest and this kind of heaviness and it felt like something was off. It kind of made me feel small and it made me kind of procrastinate and, and so when every time I would like get up, it literally felt like I was dragging a boulder to work.
I ignored these signals, I thought. Well, maybe I'm just insecure. Maybe I need to do more personal development. Maybe I need to heal my imposter syndrome. And sometimes that can be true, but in this one it wasn't. It was like, maybe I, maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe there's something wrong with the offer.
Maybe I haven't found the right marketing, or maybe I just need to push through and keep showing and have willpower and determination and grit. So weather alert. I tried all those things. None of them worked. I ended up burnt out. I lost my voice for two weeks. I was pissed off, to be honest. And. As much as I would hate to admit it, when I did speak about it, I was almost kind of hoping that nobody would buy it.
Like those were the deep whispers that I would not have had the courage to acknowledge at the time. So if you're also standing at a crossroads, right, that right now, maybe you're confused about what's the right offer, how do you sustainably make an income out of your purpose? Maybe you're feeling overwhelmed or worried about picking the wrong thing.
This episode is going to be your map. We're diving deep into nervous system led business design, how to choose an offer that is profitable, sustainable, aligned with your energy, and people are going to purchase.
When you are an entrepreneur, a founder, a solopreneur, somebody who's trying to do something different, your body is going to always perceive uncertainty. You're stepping into a new version. Even if you've done this for a really long time and a new version of life, a new version of yourself, that uncertainty registers in the body as danger, and it can create a stress response, and then it can create you to go into your old survival patterns that are primal.
Like in your body, primal, not your fault, but primal. Your body has certain ones. And then we enter into all of these old habits for myself and my client, sometimes this looks like saying yes out of guilt. Like, yeah, I'll do that. Um, I should do that, or. Uh, doing things because it's the proven way other people, like We look for certainty.
Somebody else has done it this way, so therefore it should work for us. There's so many variables in what makes one person's strategy work. There's really no guarantees. It will work for you, but we're looking for certainty. So we try another people's strategies or we overcommit in our schedule and say yes to a thousand things because we're really afraid of what happens if we focus and only focus on one thing or we disappoint people.
Or we pick the thing that we commit our life to based off of what we should do. We pick our offers based off of what we think we should do, what other people tell us about. And now there's a slight nuance between looking for validation through your work and offer versus, and an unhealthy way that is a survival pattern versus looking for market proof and a product fit.
As a co and founder from that mindset. So the survival based pattern of looking to be validated. Yes, you're smart. Yes, you're good. Yes. You know what you're doing through your offer is a survival pattern that comes up when there is uncertainty and they're completely understandable. And everybody has one.
We all have one. They're shaped by survival. A lot of the time for females, it's also like not knowing and not feeling safe, or not having the conditioning and training where we even can get in touch with what we want. I'm reading a book at the moment called Unbound and it's amazing and it really talk.
She articulates it so well. Males have had more training to get in touch with what they want and then execute what. Communicating that in the world, women have had more training and conditioning to get in touch with how to protect themselves and how to criticize themselves until they are perfect. The whole point of what I'm telling you, and the one thing I need you to listen to and understand is that your body doesn't feel safe to be connected to your true, authentic self.
The one that is confident, calm, has clarity, is creative, is humorous. Yeah. Then if it doesn't feel safe to bring out those, that deep essence of who you are, the one that is always in flow, the one that is resilient, the one that doesn't take things personally then, and who knows that you have enough time, energy, money to live the life that is nourishing for you.
Your success is always gonna feel like you're hitting one block. It's gonna be exhausting. You're gonna feel like you're always hustling and grinding and like as soon as you reach the top of one mountain, then. You have to go climb another and no strategy, no pricing formula, no launch plan, no different industry, no different branding, no different marketing is going to fix that feeling of feeling like you're constantly needing to go forward.
So let's look at what it actually looks like to build an offer and a business that you can sustain and scale without burning out. There are five things I promise you. Five things we're gonna go into them. Number one, keep it simple. Your nervous system, and those of others thrives in clarity and safety, not chaos or confusion.
Confused people do not buy things. People who, um, additionally confidence is the whole entire point of sales. Inside of Shameless sales, we go into this pretty profoundly. Sales is an exchange of confidence.
They're looking to you for confidence that you can help them with something, and that confidence often comes from a clarity that is very simple. Additionally. Nervous systems who are emotionally and logically compelled to purchase something, it needs to be understandable. If it's confusing, people won't buy.
This is something that I've struggled with over the years because I'm such a big thinker and I feel like sometimes my work can be confusing and I've been on this journey of trying to distill it down while keeping it integral, and I've learned a lot about what to do and what not to do and how to.
Support myself and other people's minds and coachings of like these big conceptual understandings, getting it distilled down to the grain. Jerry was a really beautiful client of mine. She always said that that was her favorite part of working with me, that we can distill number two is to solve a clear problem and not serve your ego.
So many entrepreneurs focus on the solution that they want to sell instead of the problem that the client desperately wants solved. You are not here to impress people. Even if a part of you wants to that part, bring it to therapy, bring it to me, bring it to the somatic coaching that we can do inside of the academy, or your therapist or, or just your journal, but like that part that wants to prove it's, we don't make offers from that space.
It won't actually serve your community and it won't actually serve you. So that's, that's the tender part that you take and you do the. Pillar two of body-based business. The healing around you are not here to impress people. And when you're grounded in yourself, you know that maybe you do feel that you're here to relieve suffering, but when you're connected to your true incent authentic self, you are more likely to make a profitable, sustainable living by focusing on the problem that you can solve.
So. Ask yourself, do I understand their problem even more deeply than I am obsessed with my solution?
And as you get more confident in your understanding of the problem and making sure that your offer addresses the problem and the way they need it solved not the way you want it solved, you're gonna feel more anchored and you're going to feel less imposter syndrome because you're going to be stepping away from needing to prove and more focusing on how can I creatively and confidently address this problem that they're experiencing.
Number three is somatic intelligence. So feel it in your body when you sit on that right offer you, you feel a level of expansion of I'm getting bigger. You feel steady, you feel grounded. It feels, in my words, it feels correct. I've had other clients who just feel like it's in flow or it's coming from their inner voice.
It makes sense. There's that steady, grounded excitement and you. Feel like it's something that you can sustain and you'll see yourself sustain it. So that means that the offer will be around for a couple of weeks. I've noticed this to be true in my clients who are manifesting generators in human design who have a thousand hobbies in myself and my clients who are neurodivergent, who hyper fixate on a new thing every week.
The right offer is going and the right problem to solve. It continues over time, and you'll notice that you'll be able to speak about it quite naturally without trying to convince everybody that it's the best. So you'll be like, yeah, and the limitation of this can be, and that's why I've developed this into it.
It's like a, a natural speaking about it. Neuro neurologically, what's happening is you're in your ventral vagal system, so that's the branch of your nervous system that supports that safety, that creativity, that leaders in that trust. And the way that you're gonna get here is by not ignoring those signs that I spoke about earlier.
I spoke about how I ignored that feeling of it being off. Instead, I want you to connect in with that sensation. Have the courage and the bravery and look for the support to connect into it. And just notice, does this offer make me expand or constrict and play around? Put different offers, play around with different types of offers, and pick the one that makes you expand end.
Even if it feels not enough, even if something feels off, it's not the thing you're gonna sell forever. But as we just spoke about in number two, you need confidence and clarity to sell it today, and you're gonna get that from your expanding. Number four, confidence. Again, build it through skill. If you don't feel confident in your offer, that's normal.
It probably, you haven't done it a lot, maybe you don't even have it yet. Maybe you haven't done it with this people or this version of yourself. And so confidence comes from two things. It's skill development to actually learning real strategy structure, communication skills, and then somatic healing, rewiring all of those old patterns and parts of you that say that it's not a good idea for people to see you, that they're going to reject you, that they're going to judge you.
That if you fail in front of people, the world will end. I am not saying that you need to fake it till you make it, but there is, when we peel away those layers of our parts that are afraid, that core self of who you are, that confidence actually comes through and sometimes personal development will tell you that you have to do so much healing that you forget about the skills.
And sometimes you'll focus so much on the skills that you wanna address, the somatic healing, and you, you really need both to play on each other.
So you can take a little bit of a stock take today and think, okay, well where do I actually need to practice more? I have a client and we actually just practice her communication skills. She tends to use a lot of words, and so we practice shortening her sentences because it's easier then for people to understand, and also she is able to access more confidence and she appears more confident when she does that.
At the same time, we address her inner critic so that she doesn't have so much insecurity, and then naturally her communication skills become more confident, and her sh her sentences become shorter. Ask yourself, where do I need more practice? Where do I need more healing? And how can I honor where I am today and build an offer based off of where I am today without expecting myself to jump forward in either?
So actually building something today, and that comes back to the prior one. Building something that feels expansive and selling something that feels expansive for who you are today, not who you want to be in six months.
And on that note, we come to a funny part, which is to know your energy capacity. There is an interesting understanding, which is that neuroscience shows that when you are evaluating something and figuring out where if you have enough energy for it, it can't actually predict the amount of energy that you'll have in the future.
So if you're tired when you're looking at your offer, you're dysregulated or you're stressed, or you have a lot going on that might like you're having a difficult week, you might feel like you don't have enough energy for it because your body is like, I don't have enough energy in this moment. But you may in fact have enough energy for it in a couple of months or whenever you're actually sharing it and selling it.
So be mindful about how you evaluate how much energy you have. Keeping that in mind that your body can only tell you how much energy you have in the moment. And sometimes when it feels like something is like a lot to deliver, you literally might just be tired. You literally might just have a lot on your mind and you need to go clear that out.
Brain dump, talk with a friend, go have a sauna, spend some time in nature, finish that busy week. Other times, it actually is a sign that you're at capacity, you're, you're not going to be able to deliver it. So when you get more in touch with yourself and you feel like you're more rested and regulated.
Keep asking and checking in, is this exciting? Is this sustainable? I'm also really visual, so I actually like map out my day and I know when my energy peaks, so I know mornings are when I'm gonna do this, and evenings is when I'm gonna do that. And I've got about like four hours of work in me each day, and I won't work any more than that.
So I will map out my day. And be like, okay, if I do this new offer, then that's gonna look like this and I'll put it in Google calendar. So it gives me a visual idea, and that will actually tell me. I found sometimes that's more reliable than what my body is telling me, because sometimes, often when I'm creating a new offer, the time and energy that I'm putting into like marketing and selling it, I won't be doing it when I'm actually delivering the offer.
But my body can't really feel that in the moment until it gets that visual reminder. Now the nitty gritty of it. No, the, what is this? I don't know. This is important. The deep embodiment part of this is that you're gonna have parts of you that come up and like, is this gonna make me the most money? If you focus on the problem, babe, I promise you it will make you money if you focus on these things.
But more importantly than how much money you can make right now. This practice and these tools are going to help you become the type of leader who can consistently sign clients and sell her products sustainably over many, many different economies, over many different sides, stages of life. When you have kids, when you kids grow up, when you know you're having a fight with your best friend, this is actual true leadership that is going to sustain you for the rest of your life, 'cause you long one ahead of you.
And this offer gets to be the foundation of the entire business and life that you wanna create, your community, your legacy, your impact.
I highly recommend that you check out some of the episodes that we have on sales where it talks about selling your offer. I'll link some down in the show notes. We have a lot around, particularly how to sell your way, your offer in a way that feels sustainable, that honors who you are, that doesn't feel awkward or like you're trying to convince or manipulate or prove.
But that feels really like you're talking to a friend, you know? And as always, check out Soma ai. She's doing such great things.