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Put An End to “One Step Forward, Two Steps Back” | FSTT003
Episode 36th December 2021 • From Surviving To Thriving • Ray Bourcier
00:00:00 00:12:42

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Welcome to episode three of From Surviving To Thriving, a show to help and support parents overcome their struggles with anxiety and depression so they can give their best to themselves, their loved ones, and their career. 

In this episode we cover 

  • What a SWAT team and never making progress have in common that you can leverage to overcome your struggles.
  • The only four things you have control over in this world.
  • Why waiting is worthless, and how taking action with The One Method is a better option.
  • How gratitude can give you your power and control back.

About the Host: 

Ray Bourcier - Stay-at-home father, husband, author, podcaster

A college and university environmental science graduate, Ray grew up in a toxic family and a toxic situation in Northern Ontario, Canada. As a result, he experienced the first of many PTSD events at age five, which would begin his nearly three-decade struggle with anxiety and depression.

Spending most of his life in survival mode without support, he eventually discovered and developed ways to overcome his struggles when nothing else worked. 

With a passion for helping others, he made it his mission to help transform the lives and impact the worlds of eleven million people so they too can give their best to themselves, their loved ones, and their career.

An ancient Chinese proverb that Ray loves states, "To know the road ahead, ask those coming back." Ray is on the road back to offer you the support you need every step on your journey so that you, too, will be on the same road back.  Ray believes that only those who've walked that road can truly understand the struggles that you go through. 

Together, we will become the rising tide that lifts all boats.

Together, we are unstoppable.

In his off time, you can find Ray spending time with his daughter, reading books, watching hockey, and contemplating whether pineapple belongs on pizza. 


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Ray Bourcier:

There I was on the cold, unforgiving cement floor with a need jammed into my spine as I was being pinned down by a SWAT team. And all I could think of was, Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Do you want to know what this story and putting an end to never making progress have in common? Stick around for today's episode.


Thank you for joining us on from surviving to thriving podcast, a show for parents or anyone to take action on How To Overcome Anxiety and depression so you can give your best to yourself, your loved ones and your career. Now, here's your host, Ray Bourcier.

Ray Bourcier:

Welcome to episode three, from surviving to thriving. If you're a parent struggling with anxiety and depression, and feeling like you're in a constant state of survival mode, then you're in the right place. I am a burst ca and I'm here to support you overcome your struggles. So you will get out of survival mode and start thriving. Our show is not about information. We're about transformation. We're about taking unwavering action. And I'm honored and grateful to be here to join you along your journey so that you can start giving your best to yourself, your loved ones, and your career. If you haven't checked out the last episode where I talked about the one method, download that episode before you proceed. Do you feel as though there's always something that derails your progress? Maybe you feel like you're stuck in an endless cycle, like I was where it's always one step forward, and two steps back. In today's episode, I will go deeper into detail on how you can take action on the one method to put an end to the cycle, and take back your power and your control. And to start, I want to cover the only four things that you have control over in this world. And it took me decades to learn these lessons that I'm about to share with you. You can control how you think and take it from me who never believed I could. You can. You can control how you act. You can control how you react, and you can control your inaction. Those are the only four things you have full control over. Everything else is outside of your control. So your struggles can be a mix of things that are outside of your control, and a mix of things that are within your control. But it may feel like everything is out of your control, doesn't it? That's how it was for me for decades. Always one step forward and two steps back. Would it be okay with you if I'm vulnerable and share a personal story? At 25 I decided to give college one more shot after dropping out years earlier because of my mental health. And by now, I was well into the second decade of my mental health struggles. One evening while studying for two crucial exams. To this day, I can still hear what sounds like a stampeding herd of elephants just outside my apartment door. And the next thing I know, the door swings violently open and a SWAT team busts through several bright red lasers blind my eyes as a symphony of screams of get down on the effin ground, tear into my ears and set off decades of verbal and emotional abuse. Within an instant. And while frozen in shock, I was viciously thrown to the ground with a knee jammed into my spine. feelings of confusion and despair began to overwhelm me. I lay there motionless in pain. In my mind, all I could think of was that it was happening to me again, as it always done. Life was screwing me over every single time. After what felt like an eternity, and their destructive searching, the SWAT team realized that they had hit the wrong apartment. They were after my neighbor one door down. So the SWAT team left me With a mess in my apartment, and my head. And at the time, this event was the worst thing to happen to me. It caused me to fail my exams the following day. But I look back at that event now with gratitude, gratitude, because this was the first catalyst that brought me here today to be with you. And it all starts with taking your power and your control back. You see, the old me felt like the victim that I had always felt.

Ray Bourcier:

I used to be always at the mercy of others. But this event got me to make a change in my perspective, which led me and will lead you to start taking unwavering action. See the old ways, were always one step forward, and two steps back, always letting everyone in everything dictate how I experienced things, never in control of what I can control. Does that resonate with you at all? It took me days for me to sit with the struggles and realize that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was done with this garbage. I never knew it at the time. But I was learning a lesson that I wouldn't understand until years later. Lessons that I want to share with you today in the hopes that it not only saves you time, but also frustration. Because I spent decades waiting for change to come wasting time. And clearly, change wasn't coming. All the ways won't open new doors, and nothing changes unless you change. And that starts with taking back control of what you can control. See, I look back at this event and I'm grateful for it happening to me. And while the SWAT team was after my neighbor, I don't believe in coincidences. Now call me crazy, or woowoo or whatever. Because looking back. I believe that SWAT team was meant for me. I mean, honestly, how does a SWAT team seriously mistake the wrong apartment number come on. It was the only way the universe could wake me up to overcome my struggles, and be here with you today to do my part to support you on your journey. It was what I needed when I needed it most. Which is what I hope this podcast will be for you. And while it was traumatizing, I am grateful it happened because now I am honored and grateful to be here with you sharing how you can start your journey back. And it starts by taking unwavering action. And this may be different for you as it was for me, because reality is a personal experience. For me, it started with taking back the narrative of what happened and choosing a better one that served me. You see, instead of being a victim, I believe that this incident was a wake up call that I deserved better. And nothing is going to stop me even if I didn't know how to. You can't control what happens out there. But you can take back control of yourself. You can choose the meaning of what you experience and not have it forced upon you. You have that power. And when you take that power, you will take back control so that you won't ever struggle with never making headway. And it starts with you taking unwavering action, the right unwavering actions. The more you take action, the more you start to build traction. And the more traction, the more momentum, the more momentum, the more you build hope and no matter what you've gone through. No matter how much you've injured, you're stronger than you may realize. What got you here is exactly what you needed to get this far and you should be proud of yourself for being here. But to take the next steps and move forward requires you to be different. You can't build something new with the known. You need to take small steps in a new direction and it doesn't Have to be difficult or time consuming it can be simple and enjoyable and the best part you don't have to wait for Sunday to see results would you like to know how to do this? Would you like to have the very same blueprints of what began to change my life? That's exactly what we're going to go into in the next episode, which is available for you right now. So go ahead and download that episode. And let's do this I'll see you there to the journey much love