This podcast episode addresses the pressing issue of managing childcare during the COVID-19 pandemic. As we navigate the complexities of a stay-at-home order, we delve into the challenges of balancing parental responsibilities with the need for personal time. With two young children at home, we explore various strategies for maintaining a semblance of normalcy while adapting to unprecedented circumstances. Our conversation emphasizes the importance of self-care and mental health, as we acknowledge the necessity of adjusting our expectations regarding household management and personal productivity. We aim to provide listeners with practical insights and reassurance, fostering a sense of connection amidst the ongoing uncertainty.

Paul and Ali, live on air, hash out their strategy for managing themselves and their 2 small kids at home during the COVID-19 Stay at home orders. They discuss:

1. What expectations they need to adjust.
2. How they will support each other.
3. Ideas for their new schedule.
4. How they are feeling about the whole situation.

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ATTRIBUTIONS:

Music:

Storybook by Scott Holmes is licensed under a Attribution-NonCommercial License.

Ukulele Whistle by Scott Holmes is licensed under a Attribution-NonCommercial License.

The discourse encompasses an intricate exploration of childcare strategies during the COVID-19 pandemic, focusing on the challenges faced by parents in the context of a stay-at-home order. The speakers, Paul and Allie, elucidate their personal experiences and the societal implications of the quarantine. They delve into the criticality of maintaining a semblance of normalcy amidst the upheaval, emphasizing the necessity for structured routines that accommodate both parental duties and personal well-being. Through their candid dialogue, they offer insights into the emotional landscape of parenting under duress, and the importance of creative problem-solving in navigating the complexities of isolation. The conversation serves not only as a reflection of their current circumstances but also as a broader commentary on the adaptability of families in times of crisis, ultimately encouraging listeners to find solace in shared experiences and innovative solutions to common challenges. The episode provides an intimate glimpse into the challenges and triumphs of parenting during a pandemic, as Paul and Allie navigate the complexities of childcare within the constraints of a stay-at-home order. Their discussion is rich with candid observations about the psychological and logistical hurdles they face, offering listeners a relatable narrative of resilience in the face of adversity. The conversation traverses various themes, including the importance of self-care for parents, the necessity of creating engaging activities for children, and the balancing act of maintaining household responsibilities. They encourage listeners to embrace imperfection and adapt their expectations, recognizing that the unprecedented circumstances warrant a re-evaluation of what constitutes a fulfilling family life. Ultimately, the episode serves as a thoughtful reminder that within the chaos of the pandemic, there lies an opportunity for deeper connections and a reevaluation of values that can lead to lasting positive change in family dynamics.

Takeaways:

1. During the current pandemic, we must establish a structured yet flexible daily routine for managing childcare effectively.
2. Maintaining our mental health is paramount; we should prioritize personal time amidst the challenges posed by constant family interaction.
3. Engaging children in creative and active play is essential for their development, especially during prolonged periods at home.
4. Finding moments for individual connection with each child will help strengthen our family bonds during this time of isolation.

On today's episode, we're going to talk about how we're going to handle childcare during this quarantine.

Hi, I'm Paul.

And I'm Allie.

And this is Uncooked Conversations where we

talk about life, family, business, and everything in between.

So hello all of you lovely listeners.

I hope you are doing well today or tonight, whenever you are listening to this presently.

We are right in the midst when we're recording this, of COVID 19.

So essentially we can't leave our house except for or going on walks, super far away from other people, going to the grocery store, the doctors, Just basically only urgent, important life necessities.

Otherwise we have to stay at home.

So if you're listening to this podcast six months from now, a year from now, two years from now, I'm man, what perspective.

I hope that you are not still quarantined.

I hope you're not still alive.

We have shifted to bunkers and, and the world is on fire.

On fire, covered in zombies.

But you know what?

I probably am in my prime with a shotgun somewhere.

Yeah, so that's our situation, you know, with this whole stay at home order with a three and a half year old and an almost one year old.

We're like, what are we gonna do?

We actually have not even discussed this topic yet.

I specifically, specifically told Paul tonight.

I was like, hey, I really need to talk to you about this.

But I think it would be a good podcast episode because I think this could be really timely and relevant for people who listen to the podcast.

Like now, obviously if you're listening to this later, this is probably completely irrelevant.

So could be interesting still, but still interesting.

It's almost like a time capsule of

Well, and also like having an emergency preparedness plan for any future epidemics we may have.

Oh, God, don't even say that.

I quit.

Hello, life.

I'm done.

I throw in the hat.

Oh, don't do that.

I'm just kidding, life.

I'm keeping my hat per request of my wife.

So I thought it would be interesting if we just open up.

I mean, this is uncooked conversations after all, and we want to be raw with some of the things that we're processing through.

So I thought it'd be interesting if we just have the conversation right here, right now and discuss what Are we going to do?

My hope and my desire is that you listeners are able to glean some nuggets from what we discuss and hopefully not feel so alone in our isolation, as well as maybe find some creative solutions if we happen to come up with some.

So here we go.

They'll be creative.

I don't know if they'll be good.

Okay, so our two sitters.

So that's not even an option.

Who can we possibly pull on in this particular time frame and scenario?

So we talked about my mom because she's close by and I already had a conversation with her.

Your sister.

I haven't talked to her yet, but I doubt that she.

I mean, she's not going to like come over a ton.

Maybe just come stay with us.

Yeah.

Honestly, I don't actually want to host anyone at our house.

Like, I feel a little cramped already having all the four of us and,

you know, gotta do some trade offs,

you know, me and my space.

Yeah.

Just.

You can stay in Asher's closet.

Hey, listen, this is how I feel about things.

You can have your own feelings.

Yep.

I hear you.

And your own thoughts.

Oh, my thoughts are like, oh, no.

Yeah.

How I feel about it is that I don't want to have anyone living at our house.

What about my sister?

I mean, she's in Florida.

Yeah.

And I guess she did introduce him to baby shark.

That's a.

That's a strike on anybody.

So nobody living with us.

So nobody living with us.

That's hard.

Like, nobody can.

That's hard to have someone live with us.

For me, for you.

I know that would feel really good to you to have someone live here with us for the next three to four weeks.

Well, because if they aren't allowed to travel anywhere.

But just think about it.

Where it comes down.

Comes down to it is.

I think our place is just too small.

I already feel cramped.

And it's the four of us.

Yeah.

I lived in much smaller places with a lot more people, so.

Good for you.

Here's your reward for living in small places.

Thank you.

Is it a cupcake?

I love cupcakes.

I don't actually.

Yeah, I mean, you know me.

I just am more a private person and I don't like to share space with a lot of people.

Yeah.

On the flip side, I lived with 16 people in like one fair size house.

And you liked that?

Mostly.

As long as people were cleaning up after themselves, I liked it.

When I was cleaning up after other people, I didn't like it.

Or when I was getting blamed for Other people's messes.

I didn't like that.

Yeah, that sucks.

Yeah.

So that doesn't leave us a lot of options.

I mean, so people can come here to work for us.

Right.

I don't know what the rule is.

And everyone has a different role depending on what state they're in.

Well, obviously, it only matters about the state we're talking about.

Oh, I thought you meant traveling.

Like someone flying here, because you had mentioned your sister, and I had mentioned my brother.

Okay, so off the table, is someone living with us, right?

Yes.

No, not for me, but yes for you.

Okay, so it's off the table.

So I suppose the compromise is yes.

Yeah.

Can they live in the garage?

How do you feel about the garage?

Great.

Can I live in the garage?

Yeah.

I'm just gonna, like, go build a little apartment out there.

You guys can stay in here where it's crazy.

So then the next question is, who can we pull on to actually, like, come over to support?

I mean, at this point, it's like, pretty much my mom and my sister.

Can people come over?

That was my question.

So in the rules that I read, which, you know, they're updating every couple days, what the restrictions are.

So I have no idea.

I just read the restrictions earlier today.

And so it sounds like the problem is the other counties around us, not us.

Well, I think we might be following suit soon.

Okay.

Yeah.

And, like, the whole spirit of everything is to limit contact with people and really to make sure that we're not spreading things.

Okay, so you're gonna hate this question.

What about, worst case scenario, it's just me and you for the next month with the kids?

I mean, it's like vacation, right?

Vacations are so great.

Oh, my goodness.

Yeah.

So this, I think, is.

I mean, hopefully this doesn't become a reality, but I think I. I like thinking of in both extremes.

So I think, like, in this extreme, which would be a lot more taxing and difficult, what would we have to adjust in our life and in our own expectations of what life is for us right now so that that scenario of being with them constantly would not wear on us.

Because I think right now, like, you know, we're trying to be with the kids, we're trying to take care of, like, get some of our own personal projects done.

We're trying to, like, keep up with the house.

We're trying to, like, you know, do a lot of things.

Not put Asher on tv.

Bunny ear quotes.

Like, we're trying to, like, not have Asher on TV too much.

Like, we're trying.

We have a lot of these, like, goals, regular life expectations and standards that we're trying to maintain some amount of normalcy, but we just can't anymore.

Like, now that we have this, like, stay at home order, we have to change our expectations and how we're doing things.

Yeah.

And so I think in worst case scenario, you know, if we don't get a lot of child care, how are we practically going to orient.

Yeah.

Ourselves.

Well, one thing we could do is while Aiden's napping, we could put on a show for Asher.

Ooh, I like that.

Have like a tea break.

You know, go try and do something or connect or.

Yeah.

Take a nap ourselves.

That's such a good idea.

Yeah.

Well, I think that's so good because, like, it's kind of like running a marathon where, like, you can't just, like, power through and, like, go super hard.

Like, we could probably do that for a week and then we would completely burn out and cry.

Yeah.

I think if we're gonna look at this in like a three to four week span, like, we really have to pace ourselves.

And I think having like, that little dip in the middle of the day would be nice.

Yeah.

You know, everybody else might not be trying to keep their kids from watching tv and that's just our own prerogative, you know, like, you just gotta do what you gotta do and you gotta not have too much guilt.

I know.

I deal with that a lot of just like, ugh, I have to let him do this thing that I'm trying to not have to do.

Unusual times call for unorthodox solutions.

Yeah.

Or things that might go against your typical personal parenting values and everything.

You just have to really focus.

I think the key here, and actually this is interesting that I just thought of is I think the key is to focus on your own mental health first.

Like, as the adults in the household, as the parents.

And like, I love how even in this conversation right now we're focusing on what we need first because then we can talk about the kids schedules later and what to do with them.

I mean, honestly, I have.

It's almost like.

It's overwhelming.

I have gotten so many emails in the past week or two weeks of, like, for the duration of COVID Like, this homeschool program is free.

Join this Facebook group and you can get all these ideas for what you can do with your kids.

It's just everywhere.

Like, our preschools sending us daily stuff.

I'm like, I know how to play with my kid.

And I mean, they are great.

That's true.

And depending on the age range, like, finding the right kind of activity for your kid that will keep them engaged for a while.

Because that's a big trick too, is like, if you can keep your kid engaged for like 20 to 30 minutes in one thing, it's so relieving, especially if they.

You can get them into that, like, deep place and then you don't have to, like, keep them from sticking things in the sockets, you know, or like, eating crayons, like, whatever.

We, more than most people, probably, like just the general populace, have read a ton on how to engage with our kids and like, all this different stuff.

But I wouldn't think that that's the general norm because even before when I was helping take care of other people's kids, I had no idea.

What the heck do you do with a 2, 3 year old?

I don't know.

I'm gonna just throw balls at him, chase him around the house, like.

Yeah, so it's a lot different now.

That's true.

And so those can be really helpful.

I think my point kind of like, for the third time, my point is that, like, I've gotten so much content for how to support the kids and how to do, like, schedules and activities and all this.

But how do we support the parents?

But exactly, like, how do you support, like, us?

How do we think about our own schedules?

And I think that's a really big piece that's missing is like, how do we as parents who are suddenly at home all the time with the kids in this marriage thing, where it's like, we're used to being away 40 hours a week or more from our spouse.

A lot of us.

Not us and not everybody, but a lot of people.

And so how do you interface with this other human that you call your spouse when you're just kind of in the thick of it?

So that leads me to ask another question.

What are the things that you and I both need on a daily basis to continue to feel happy, calm, and just able to kind of like in psychology where they talk about the.

The window of tolerance and staying in that window of tolerance when you are feeling stressed to be able to manage that well.

So, like, what are the things that.

That you need being more of an introverted person?

I need as much alone time as I can get, you know, like, even in our current life.

So if you were to, like, quantify that and put that into a schedule, like, what would that mean for you?

Are we talking like two hours of alone time every day?

Are we talking?

Well, it depends on what I'm doing with it.

But like, like alone sort of self care time, which is different than like alone getting things done time.

Do you consider time like for example the other day when we sat out on the porch and had a nice conversation and drank tea, does that feel like self care to you or is that, does that still not nourish you in the way that you would need?

No, I think that like good conversations with you is, is nourishing in a way.

I think for me, I feel like I need like in an ideal situation

at least so that I don't look like a jerk.

So honey, what do you, what kind of things do you need?

Well, it's so sweet of you to ask.

Thank you.

Well, I think ideally if I were to like quantify it in like a daily routine, I really need at least an hour to myself to kind of just like do whatever.

But I have to be very intentional with that time where I'm not like scrolling Instagram or on Facebook, but like read a book, journal, sit outside, just kind of stare, you know, paint, do something like that.

I think just like feeling like I have control of my own time, like what I do for a period of time feels really good to me.

But you gotta like leave your phone behind though, maybe.

I don't know.

Like, I think, you know, if we're looking at the total schedule of our day, it would be nice to have some kind of routine where, you know, you're watching the kids for a chunk of hours and I'm watching the kids for a chunk of hours.

Well, it's like during, you know, actual school or during, like if you're a preschool worker or something, you get breaks.

You're supposed to in an 8 hour day have like at least two 15 minute breaks.

I don't know, talk to some of the teachers here.

One hour long break.

Yeah, just like as far as OSHA is concerned and as parents we don't usually get that.

True.

And you know, we're lucky in a way, but we have a very spirited son and he is amazingly full of energy.

Yeah, he wakes up bright eyed first thing in the morning at 5:45 and he's like, hey Daddy, Daddy, I'm ready to, I'm ready for a snack, I'm ready to watch a show.

Hey Daddy, you know, and if I don't respond to him, he'll just sit in his room going, daddy, some people might have super chill kids.

And you guys are amazing.

Come watch our kids.

That'd be Great.

Yeah.

And so it's maybe not as necessary for you guys, but like, we need breaks.

I need breaks.

And I'm already kind of running on low, you know, sleep deprivation and adrenal fatigue and all this other stuff that I'm going through.

And so even watching the kids for four hours straight, I'm just like, oh man.

I just need.

I need a minute of quiet.

That's really good to know.

So for you, like, four hours with the kids feels like a lot.

And honestly, I mean, it is.

Even an hour with both of them can feel like a lot.

Like how can we structure our day so it doesn't feel overwhelming.

I think what's nice too is that Aiden is starting to get back onto a sleep schedule where he's falling asleep around a little bit after Asher not too late.

So I think this time in the evening is really precious.

But we also need to make sure we're going to bed at a decent hour.

Maybe 10 o'.

Clock.

We always say that, but we're.

What if we did something where in the morning time, you know, he gets up, we take care of that and we kind of like do our breakfast routine all together.

One of us watches the kids and we don't have to do the same thing every day.

We can do like one of us on Tuesday, a different one.

Wednesday, we're just like whoever's feeling the most energetic at that moment.

Yeah.

And we can be flexible with that.

But maybe there's like sort of this like two and a half hour window.

So we're sort of like co parenting in the morning.

And then Aiden has his nap and we just put a show on for Asher until Aiden wakes up from his nap.

Yeah.

So if it's an hour and a half, that's fine.

But maybe what we can do is do some research and find some like more educational programming like Little Pim.

I know with like the language stuff that I think that would make me feel at least a lot better if like.

Yeah.

And I know like Bill Nye the science Guy.

Bill Nye.

That would be so fun.

And I've heard School Bus is always good.

Yeah.

Is at least better.

A little.

Yeah.

A little bit better.

But there is something ABC Mouse I heard is this really good homeschool program that has like pre K stuff and maybe.

I can't believe I'm about To say this.

Some online games for, like, educational purposes.

Are you joking?

No.

Oh.

I'm not joking.

Oh, okay.

I thought you'd be, like, all for this idea.

I mean, I. I love games, but Asher is.

Is so, like, zoned in.

I think once you open that can of worms, it's gonna be really hard to close that can of worms.

Yeah.

Like, right now, we're like a strict no tolerance.

He can't play.

He can only watch me play games a little bit sometimes.

But as soon as you open that door.

Yeah.

He's gonna be like, hey, mommy, can I play that other game?

True.

Can I play that game?

True.

Why can't I play this game if I can play that game?

And he's, you know, he's smart.

He's, like, persistent.

Good idea.

But I hear you, and I think it's a great idea.

And it would definitely probably keep him

engaged for a while.

But I think you're totally right.

You're totally right.

But here's another idea is we could.

You know, I'm not looking for extra work for us, but I'm just trying to, like, help mitigate the guilt that I feel for putting him on a show.

Remember, just take a breath.

I know these are unusual times and they call for unorthodox solutions.

Well, and he's also just watched the same shows over and over and over again.

Like, how many times has he watched, like.

No, I put new shows on.

Yeah.

But here's my idea.

So we can go onto YouTube and make a playlist of videos that we want him to watch.

That might be a little bit more educational for him.

Sure.

But yeah, smarter every day is a really cool one.

Yeah.

Slow motion, guys.

He would love that.

They just break things in slow motion.

Oh, that's cool.

That'd be very interesting.

Do we want to show him, like, more breaking things?

Probably not.

Okay, so then we have.

So that's like the very engineering minded.

So he loves taking things apart.

Yes.

Yeah.

And so I think the goal with the afternoon then is that we're like, we do lunch together and then we just, like, are able to either, like, work or take a cup of tea or just do what we need to do in that moment.

But like, during his.

During the nap.

Yeah.

I mean, I think ideally we should spend it on, like, hanging out with each other, touching base, Something like self soothing, nourishing, all of that.

Yeah.

But maybe the nourishing thing for us is going to be to work on something.

It's definitely nourishing to me.

Yeah.

Also Like, I love you.

Don't take this the wrong way, but sometimes I just need some me time.

Oh, me too.

I think what we should definitely like, look kind of at the week and then figure out like, sort of your like, FaceTime needs and my alone time needs and then try and like sync those up because like, if we're hanging out at nap time, I probably not going to want to hang out a lot in the evening, you know, other than like a little bit.

Yeah.

Well, I can just tell you right now, for me, and actually I was going to bring this up earlier when we were talking.

There's something very sweet about the moment when both kids are in bed and asleep.

And my heart always longs to connect with you.

Why are you laughing at me?

This is cute and wonderful.

I like it.

I'm just like, the kids are asleep and I want to connect with you.

Yeah.

To me it feels like, oh, we did it.

And like this like this big, like, high five and this like, we can finally talk in peace kind of feeling and like be together without interruption.

It's a little bit in my mind, like when you're like, see these prison scenes and they're like marking off that they survived another day?

It's not quite that bad.

But no, sometimes I'm just, I'm so exhausted.

It's not them, they're amazing.

It's me.

I'm just like, oh, God.

So I think for me, like what my heart longs for is just that, like, you know, 20, 30 minute sit down of like your full here and now presence after the kids are asleep.

And for me, that just feels like kind of this nice, like, bookend to the day.

But then after that, I mean, I'm fine.

Like, I mean, sometimes I'm gonna want to hang out longer or maybe record a podcast with you or maybe watch a show or like read a book with you.

And we can talk about that day to day, but we can still do

like sort of our winding down routine.

Right.

But I mean, I love my alone time at night too.

I don't, I don't always want to hang out with you.

We really love each other.

I swear we do.

So I think what I'm talking about right here is sort of like the structure for like a general day in our house.

But like, some days we may just take the whole day and like go on a long, long hike in the woods and do a picnic or something like that.

So I think I see this as sort of like our coming back to schedule.

This is like, if we haven't planned something special or different.

Like this is just what we're going to fall back on.

So then we have that time when Aiden wakes up between like probably one o' clock ish and then to 3:30 or four.

Right, right.

So that would be like three and a half hours.

So to make it fair, probably then whoever's on shift next would take like a 1 to a 3:30 and then we can kind of work it out from there.

Yeah, well, because then after that it's like dinner, baths, bedtime routines, someone putting one kid to sleep, someone putting the other kid to sleep.

So pretty much from like five to seven breathing again.

Yeah.

So it's like five to seven is sort of like our food wind down time with like the whole family.

Yeah.

So it sounds like we each could get like two and a half hours solo during the day, plus the TV time, plus evening connect.

I mean that sounds like a pretty decent schedule to me.

Yeah, it doesn't sound too bad.

I feel like the same thing every single day would get a little bit monotonous though.

What are some things that you would want to do to kind of shake up our routine?

Just try and get out as much as possible.

Asher and Aiden both do really, really well outside on their walk.

Like the walk I went to, they were just both really good.

Do you want to incorporate more of that into our daily schedule?

Yeah, we need to be outside like, well like I personally, whenever I have to watch them, I'll probably take them outside.

Yeah.

Less mess.

Like I don't have to be as controlling like, oh no, don't touch, don't do it, don't do that.

Because I don't like being like that anyway.

Trying to give them as much.

Yes.

Time as possible.

Like okay, hey, we're out here.

Yeah, stick your hand in that puddle, whatever.

Right.

Like climb up this random hill.

Sure, yeah.

Run 150ft away from me.

Maybe a little closer.

Yeah.

So yeah, I guess I just wanted to talk about like the, like what our family unit schedule would be day to day.

But then I also wanted to talk about what expectations do we need to adjust and shift over the next month so that when we have.

Because it's one thing to have this nice schedule that's like, okay, we're sharing pretty equally in everything we're doing to kind of keep the kids alive and healthy and happy.

But then it's another thing of when we get our personal time to do stuff.

What are we doing with that time?

Are we over pressuring?

Right.

Are we like, feeling bad because we're not like, because I'm not finishing that book I wanted to finish and not writing that article and not doing all of these different things because, you know, we made some really awesome goals for the beginning of this year, but it's really changed a lot, like, our capacity to execute on those things.

And so I think that a really important conversation for you and I to have right now is what are our goals personally and professionally over the next four weeks as we move through this Covid time, keeping in mind that we likely will have, say, three hours a day of brain awake time during the day, and then we'll have evening hours to do some things if we want, and if we want to take our rest time in the middle of the day.

So we could have potential of maybe five hours in a day, but I think the realistic time is like three.

Yeah.

I mean, even just keeping up with all of the conversations that I'm in and watching the kids is challenging.

Yeah.

Because I'm like trying to be as present as I can, but then I, you know, I have editors and I have all these people kind of like counting on me for different things.

So what projects do you personally have going on right now?

So right now I have the Dustworld podcast, an editor for that.

I have a Mage World podcast that's going up working title onto the Patreon.

Then I have another podcast that we're starting, the Strangers in the Pines.

Then I have this podcast now.

So I'll be oversight seeing the post production of that as well.

So that's just on my podcast side.

Then I've got a product that I'm working on, which I'm pretty excited about.

Sort of like a half side project.

Project is the game for Dust World that I'm working on, which is kind of like for fun, but a little bit for work.

Yeah.

So those are all like that kind of stuff.

And then, you know, just some random writing stuff.

And I got stuff with my writing partner and other things.

Do you have like, are you guys actually doing some writing for that or are you guys putting that on pause for a little bit?

The TV show, I keep checking in, but right now I don't have any definitive information on it.

But I mean, we have a ton of ideas and things.

It's really crazy out there.

Like all the film stuff kind of in LA is shut down and everywhere.

Really.

Yeah, yeah.

So I'm not really sure where that's going.

Might be a good time to shift to doing animation or something else, you know?

I've been thinking about picking up some of my animation projects again, so.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What about you?

What kind of goals and things are you working on?

Well, so what I have been moving forward in prior to all this, Covid is working on continuing my education in real estate and networking with investors and attending meetings.

They.

They've started doing some online stuff, but I haven't been able to attend yet.

And I think I got to figure out how to connect back in with the group.

I definitely feel a really big difference between being able to like, see people and shake people's hands and all that versus, like, oh, it's online.

Just like everything else is online.

Yeah.

So the real estate stuff, I have a couple writing projects that I've been working on.

The poetry book and then the other book.

Well, more recently, coaching has been coming back on the radar for me.

Doing coaching for couples and individual coaching.

How to get through Covid.

You love that.

Well, I'm just continuing my education and training and some stuff.

I have a couple books I am trying to finish.

I have a couple courses that I need to finish up and then just some personal things like creative.

You wanted to do more dancing?

We just set up the mirrors in the garage.

You want to do some more writing, like poetry and stuff.

You wanted to do more painting.

I feel like there's something that I'm missing.

Picking out a house to live in.

Oh, gosh.

Yeah.

That has been a huge project.

Huge.

I mean, gosh, I've spent so much of my in between time like looking at Zillow and Homespotter and now we

can't go to any houses.

So that kind of puts that all on hold.

Yeah.

So I guess that is one.

So anyway, just to.

So definitely a variety of work projects on top of keeping our personal finances organized.

And I always have home projects of decluttering and reorganizing.

That's sort of this staple forever on my list kind of thing.

So with all those projects in mind, which of these projects, and we can both answer this question, have definitive deadlines, whether self imposed or someone else is expecting something from us.

Do you have freedom to kind of expand and contract?

Right.

So what has flexibility?

What has like solidity?

So for me, the Dust World podcast has to come out every week and we're getting ahead, so that's good.

The other stuff is less.

Less time sensitive.

Like I have stuff that's going up on my Patreon, but that's like I'm actually ahead by a lot thanks to Our editor.

And then I'm working on more things to put on the Patreon.

But that, that's all kind of easy.

Finding paying work is kind of need.

I don't know, I don't know what to do during this time.

It's kind of crazy.

I know it is weird.

A lot of people are going online for their work, but it's a good

time to build an audience, you know, I guess a lot of people at home watching a lot more things, listening a lot more things.

Yeah.

Dust World, your one podcast, has a definitive schedule, but other than that, it's.

So everything's pretty flexible.

Yes.

So once we start posting the, the Strangers in the Pines, we'll want to keep that at a weekly pace.

But we'll be recording like probably two to three at a time, so it shouldn't be too hard to get ahead of that.

And I'm already setting up the, all that stuff.

What about you?

What kind of stuff is flexible versus inflexible?

Well, actually the house stuff can definitely go on pause.

And that's, I think, an important one.

Except taxes.

I do have to finish that.

And there's a couple headaches that I just learned about today that I know.

Yay.

So that's actually the taxes.

I cannot let up on the home buying.

I mean, I, I, you do that for fun, so.

Yeah, I do that for fun.

And I probably will keep, like looking, but I'm gonna be like, I'm not going to be scheduling tours that we're not going to be like really driving around.

Probably home buying is definitely postponed.

I mean, with investing, there's definitely time sensitive stuff with both stocks and real estate.

Yeah, there can be.

And so there's like a couple opportunities coming up that if I want to be a part of, I'll have to make a decision sooner than later because those windows are going to close soon.

So I think there's like, if I want to be a part of certain deals, then I have to be ready, be ready and you know, on top of things.

But otherwise, I mean, I can kind of go as fast or slow as I want.

And then just a lot of the other stuff is like education based and then the coaching is a money making thing.

So I think that is more like, I don't want to say urgent, like stressful, but yeah, like more time sensitive just because, you know, other income streams have shifted and other income opportunities have changed for now.

So I feel like for me, a way that I can contribute financially to the family is through offering the coaching Right now and workshops online.

So I think that is where I'm going to shift some of my focus.

So I think what I'm hearing from both of us is that we have a lot of flexibility in what we're doing and nothing we're doing right now has this imminent sense of we have to get this done, which is nice because we can not like all our projects.

Last year.

Yeah, last year was very different.

Yeah.

So we can be a little bit more like relaxed in this next month with our goals and so maybe something we can do later on pen and paper is just like.

Because I always love writing things down and posting goals up.

You'll see goals all over my office is we can just like write down like what our main focuses are for the next four weeks.

Yeah.

Okay, so here's another one.

We did talk about goals and shifting expectations with work or at least just realizing we don't have like a ton of pressure.

So any pressure that we feel is stuff we put on ourselves.

We're really good at that.

Yeah.

But what about like expectations around the house?

Do you think that there's anything that we need to shift in what we're expecting in terms of cleanliness or chores or anything like that?

Well, we are going from having the kids out of the house a bunch to having them in the house a lot.

So keeping the house spotless all day is just pretty much impossible.

Yeah.

Even as Aiden was sick like last week, like the kitchen went to crazy

and we still have another load of dishes to catch up on.

It's just like impossible.

Yeah.

Also the kind of foods we cook and stuff, we can like try and limit how many dishes we're dirtying and things like that to try and counteract some of this.

Not having the time to really.

Yeah.

And maybe a little bit of meal prepping too.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't want to go crazy with it because that's very time consuming.

But I think just like a few meals and I'm also.

That's actually another thing that I was already doing for the past month is buying meals that were already made.

Like pre made meatloaf, pre made chicken salad and croissants, pre made like green bean casserole, all this stuff.

Because I, I just got to the point like a month ago where I'm like, I am so sick of cooking and thinking about cooking and thinking about what we're eating tonight and I just need that weight off my shoulders.

Yeah.

And I know Paul just says, well,

then you put it on my shoulders and I'm like, great, we'll order all pre made food.

Yeah.

Well, I mean.

Yeah.

And you had a lot going on with your writing project, so it made sense that you couldn't really contribute in that way at the time.

Yeah.

And so I think just continuing to do that in our grocery buying of like buying really simple meals and only cooking if we feel like cooking, but not necessarily, like everything has to be like homemade and all that.

Yeah.

Like, when I made pancakes the other day, I had no idea it was going to be so difficult.

I think you made it way more difficult than it had to be.

I. I feel like I do that every time.

Yeah.

They were so amazing.

They were good.

They were very good.

But I was shocked how long you took to make those.

I am just very slow at cooking.

Yeah.

I'm cuz I'm so.

I'm trying to like, follow anyway.

Follow everything to like the exact precise, like minutia.

Yeah.

I think that's a good point.

I actually didn't think about the fact that the kids are actually going to be in the house even more.

Which means more mess.

Yeah.

Than what we're used to.

And less time to clean up that mess.

So maybe we also have like designated areas during certain times.

So like.

Okay.

From this time to this time, it's garage time.

Because we've set up like a whole play.

Okay.

Art space in the garage.

Yeah.

And so like every day, like, he can especially.

Asher can start to like, okay, great.

After.

After breakfast, it's always art time in the garage.

I like that.

And that way we.

We can start to like, have a semblance of.

That'd be nice.

Routine.

Yeah.

I really like that.

We'll probably have to play around with that a little bit and just see like, what flows and works the best.

But I think that that's really a good idea.

I think also my favorite thing, decluttering.

Even if we just put some toys, like on quote unquote timeout for the next month so that there's less options because the fewer things that there are to play with, the fewer things there are to clean up.

Yeah.

We're already pretty minimal compared to most people, but our living room's starting to feel a little bit overwhelming.

Yeah.

All the books and everything.

I know.

It's like they're.

All Their stuff is everywhere and we're like, where's our stuff?

Nicely packed away on my incredibly filthy desk.

What other expectations do you think might.

We might need to shift how much we bathe?

No, no, actually that's really important.

I feel like that's one, like, under the self care of, like, we should definitely make sure we are.

Don't shower pajamas all day.

Don't.

Ooh, that's a good one.

Yeah.

I mean, definitely, like, get dressed, act like it's a day.

Yeah.

Because you feel so much better as a human when you've, like, taking care of yourself.

Yeah.

You know, brush your teeth, do your hair, take showers every few days or however many days, like how you need it.

Whatever's normal for you.

Like, I think that'll help a lot.

Yeah, I think that's really good.

And then also movement.

I think being forced to stay home a lot is going to invite, like, just sedentary ness.

Yeah, sedentary.

Like just hanging out, lazing around, and of course, chasing around kids.

Like, you're not entirely sedentary, but it's just.

It's still easy to just like, stay stuck inside.

And I think even as I'm like, talking about this, my body's like, craving to go outside and like, walk.

Yeah.

So I think being mindful of, like, our exercise is really important too.

And like, even I've been doing like, jumping jacks around the house and stretching and just kind of like keeping myself from getting too stiff.

So then really briefly, you know, we've talked a lot about our own schedule as parents and our needs and all of that.

I think the more that we can take care of our own needs as parents and keep ourselves grounded and calm, the better our kids are going to feel and be.

But really thinking specifically about our two boys, what do you feel like some of the most important things are for each of them individually, as we're kind of stuck inside a lot more than they're both used to.

But especially for Asher.

Yeah, I think, like, definitely getting activity done in the morning, like moving activities.

You know, maybe we have like a family exercise time or something with breakfast where we're just like, pump it out.

Because he just wakes up with so much energy and then like, having good, like, kind of grounding things for him, like the sensory, like the play doh.

The clay, playing with paints, finger painting.

Those kind of things, I think are really good.

And then also definitely getting them outside, you know, every day.

The Nor is it Norwegian way.

Like, no bad weather, only bad clothing.

It's like just making sure we're still outside.

Yeah.

I think it'd be really great to go on at least one, if not two, legitimate hikes a week, because I think just even to have something to explore that doesn't feel like the same old, same old for him would be really great.

Well, just remember, the same old to us is different than the same old to him.

That's true.

Going up that hill, like, he could go up that hill like a hundred times.

Yeah.

And find it amazing every time.

And like, look at this branch.

Look at this moss.

Look at this wad of gross bird leftovers.

Amazing, amazing perspective that children have.

Yeah.

We definitely need to reclaim some of that.

Yeah.

For ourselves.

Everyone has the been there, done that perspective.

I know.

So what are some other things that you can think of that might be really beneficial to.

Beneficial or necessary to either of the kids?

Well, I think we were actually talking about this a bit earlier.

Is just Asher has a need for connection.

Obviously all kids do.

And like, really being intentional and diligent in this time to find what are those connection points for him that really, like, send home, like, hey, we're with you.

We hear you.

We're for you.

We love you.

Yeah.

So I think that's really good, like, having

planned together times.

Yeah.

Like, where we're each intentional with him each day.

You know, it doesn't have to be for hours, but maybe like, really intentionally connecting with him.

And Aiden too.

I mean, Aiden really, you know, the older he gets, the more he's like craving that, like, full attention.

But yeah, like, 20, 30 minutes of like, just mommy time and 20, 30 minutes of just daddy time where, like, we really make sure we're fully present with each of them every day.

But I think also maybe trying to keep like a once a week date time where one of us takes him out on like an adventure hiking.

Because that's kind of the only thing we can do right now, I think, for.

For Aidan giving him lots of exploration time with food.

Because he.

He's probably gonna be a chef or something.

Like, he loves food.

He's just like, wants to eat every bit of food.

Yeah.

Which is so interesting and so different than Asher.

Like, Asher liked food, but he was like, you know, he would eat things that he thought were really good.

Aiden's just like, give me whatever you're eating.

I want to eat that.

Yeah.

I think that's a good little way to kind of connect with him.

I also find this time kind of interesting to test out the lifestyle of homeschooling, even though Asher's not quite to, like, official homeschool age.

But it's giving.

Like.

I think it's gonna be a fun experiment to see how I feel about it, because I know that I've been Thinking about it a lot.

Yeah, that'd be great.

Give me more time to do nothing.

I mean, not even necessarily that, but just, like, not that I'm gonna spend all that much more time with him, but just what it's like being together as a family all the time like this.

And then, you know, do I want to spend some time planning a few educational activities and see kind of how that feels?

Yeah.

Well, you're a great teacher, so I'm sure you'd love it.

Thank you.

Yeah, I mean, I think that that's pretty.

I wouldn't say definitive, but exhaustive, Maybe partially exhaustive.

List.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think we've got a good plan.

All right.

High five.

I've been asking a lot of questions.

Do you have any questions to help us think about this?

I don't think so.

I think kind of what we came down to is, like, don't stop living like a normal human.

Like, do hygiene, do a lot of self care, especially parents.

Make sure, like, you might not want to put in front of a tv.

I don't want to put in front of a tv.

But take care of ourselves.

Try and keep a.

Like a routine.

Like, create a routine.

I was even just, we have so many books everywhere, thinking like, oh, we have to have a reading time.

Like, we can have a reading time every day.

Just things like that where we can implement these.

These things that are, like, kind of for everyone's benefit.

Yeah.

And we can also have those days where we do none of it and just lounge and laze and.

I know.

I think, like, if I am gonna say one thing about this whole time, I think it's such a beautiful opportunity to reflect on our lifestyle and the things that are.

I know this sounds so cliche, but most important to us, because right now we're being deprived of a lot of things.

We're being deprived of being able to just go to a retail store at our leisure and hang with friends and, like, all these different things.

And it's like we've been grounded, but, like, I'm not thinking about this in a bad way, but it's like, what are the things that we find ourselves longing for and missing?

And maybe the things we thought that were really important to us before actually aren't.

Yeah.

Like, am I missing not being able to go to, like, the shopping malls?

Not really.

Am I missing my friends?

Heck, yeah.

I miss just having them over to hang and do whatever, you know, I think, like, in the pain that we're feeling and in the discomfort that we're feeling of, like, being trapped right now.

That's also a really great reflection of what our inner desires and priorities are when we come out on the other side of it.

I really hope that we take the lessons and the revelations that we gained during this time and implement them and not just come out on the other side and be like, oh, I'm glad that's over.

Let's go back to the hamster wheel.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's a lot of.

Take account of your life.

Yeah.

I mean, there's really a lot of amazing opportunity for reflection.

Like, America has never, ever been put on pause like this before.

And I think it's the break that we all needed, even though it, I mean, it's costing us greatly, greatly as an economy and many other things.

But if I were to find a silver lining, I think it has to do with the pause.

To our busy, busy lives.

I think that was well said.

Thank you.

So I think we have a very plan and we can hash it out some more.

Yeah.

Stay healthy, all you beautiful listeners.

Well, thank you guys so much for listening and joining us today.

I hope that some of this was helpful and encouraging to you, and we wish you all the best.

Stay well and we'll see you next time.

Good night.

Good night.

Good day.

Good day.

Good morning.