During this episode, we will cover the value of "relationships" as part of the overall makeup of the business started by our podcast host, "Your Speaking Voice LLC" and its fundamental importance to our overall development. Relationships are so much more than giving and taking from each other, but help to grow the foundation for our ability to expand our comfort zone and interact with each other; after all, we are all social creatures! Learn how this important starting point can lead you from being alone, and being surrounded with greatness!

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Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

determination, all converge into an amazing, heartfelt experience.

This is Speaking From The Heart.

Welcome back to episode three of Speaking From The Heart.

Today we're going to tackle not only the concept of relationships, one of

the three values of the business that I've started, Your Speaking Voice, but

more specifically, how we can create the best relationships for our well-being.

I know what you might be thinking when you read the title.

It's not about just romantic relationships that we're alluding to,

although those are a big part of it.

What I'm specifically referring to are the things that we go through in

life that sometimes are the biggest struggles, which could be not just the

romantic kind, but also the friendships that we have, the acquaintances that

we meet, the people that we interact with that we get the call our family.

I have to admit that going through this episode is probably one of the tougher

ones for me as I'm recording this, my mom is currently in the hospital.

Going through some of the most biggest challenges that she might ever

face in her 69 years on this earth.

Even with that said, one of the biggest things that we can learn from all the

different experiences that we have in our lives is to learn how to focus intently

on how to create the best value from them.

Relationships don't have to be transactional.

Those can be things that we do on a daily basis that we

normally don't even think about.

These are the people that we go to work with every day, whether we are

the ones that are working on a computer and interacting in this new virtual

world of technology, being able to see with our web cameras, the faces and

expressions of those that are pointed against it, or even the individuals that

are speaking through a microphone...

just like me!

We still value the most important, the most ancient of all customs of

being able to speak to each other, and that's about the interactions

that we have face to face.

I know that for many of us, that can be very tough, especially

with the dynamics that we have.

Sometimes our relationships can be very good and sometimes they can be very bad.

Sometimes those are going to be things that in the middle, even though there

are good and bad, there are also opportunities to flourish and create

value in all kinds of different ways.

I know from my life, one of the biggest challenges that I've had

growing up was being able to have those relationships with intentionality.

There was a person that I really enjoyed hanging out with the most.

You could say that she was my first girlfriend.

She was in middle school.

I knew that I wanted to have a relationship with someone, because, let's

face it, I'm a boy and I really wanted to have somebody that I could talk to

and have that meaningful connection with.

What turned out to be what I thought would be just a communication between

her and I turned into something that developed what we all have to deal

with in any sort of relationship...

feelings.

Now I get you; feelings are all part of the bigger dynamic that

we always have to deal with.

Understanding what the other person is saying while you are reacting to

what that person is doing to you.

Those are the give and takes that we often have to go through when

it comes to building relationships, and that's all part of the

learning style that we all develop.

Whether we are trying to develop those sort of things while we're having that

relationship, even if we are 13 years of age, or if we are 73 years of age, the

most important thing that we're able to do is create that value for all of us to have

in any type of situation that we face.

The bigger question becomes, now that we have that

relationship, how do we foster it?

Needless to say, I'm no longer with that relationship that I was

in when I was a 13 year old boy.

She also moved on too...

moved on to all kinds of other opportunities, not only within

her relationships, but also with the people that she was dealing

with and enjoying in her own life.

We have to learn how to have those great relationships with others by

understanding and digesting what is it doing to help with our overall well-being.

Now, I will tell you that I have been one of those people that have gone

through life thinking that there has to be some sort of formula that we can all

listen to, that we can all dive into and create that impactful moment for

each and every one of us that allows us to understand fully what it's all

about; to have that opportunity, to have that succinct connection with someone

so that we know that they understand.

It's almost a chemistry; a biology of sorts.

I know that in my life, that sometimes those relationships that we have

cannot be the most easiest to form.

It cannot be able to provide all kinds of different opportunities for us to

create what is what we are right now.

I know that that can be tough to do, to handle, to go through and create

unique opportunities to say to ourselves, yes, these are the things that we need

to do in order to have more meaningful impact, but that's the whole point.

It's a trial by error.

There's no magic formula.

In episode one, I talked about that even with the start of this podcast,

is that it's not about having a unique formula that we all fit into.

It's about the unique experiences, especially when we're talking

about relationships that define who we want to become.

I haven't found yet my significant other.

I haven't yet found the opportunities to be able to have a meaningful relationship

with someone where I'm able to give and take and not be upset or frustrated

because that other person doesn't understand what I'm trying to say.

Gary Chapman, who's the author of the Five Love Languages, the original

book that talks about some of the ways in which we develop those sort

of opportunities to connect with other individuals in an authentic way would

probably be mad at me to say that I have not yet found my own love language

from within those five love languages.

If I were to say that anything is able to be fit into a formula

isn't necessarily the case.

Formulas often don't equate.

It doesn't matter which way of the equation that you try to solve it from,

it's almost impossible to understand it if you don't have the necessary training

and background in order to do that.

Speaking of training and background, I haven't had enough of that.

Even at my age, which I won't disclose here on this podcast, I know that for

many of even my personal friends, they would, definitely say to me, Josh, you're

not ready yet to have that relationship because of what you're going through at

this moment, and that's perfectly okay.

Those are the things that we typically are going through because of the

things that we have happening in our lives right now, and that's okay.

The things that I'm not ready for right now does not mean that I'm not going

to be ready down the road to be able to provide for when that time comes.

That's really the point, ladies and gentlemen; it is all about

the matter of perspective.

Relationships are easy enough to just say, I want to have you and I want to

be with you for the rest of my life.

Professional relationships are easy enough to say: coworker A, I want to B

with you as long as I can get meaningful connection from you, and coworker b,

you do a great job with formatting that marketing material because I do not have

the skills necessary to create that.

Can you continue to do that for me?

Those are the things that we all struggle with.

We have our strengths, we have our weaknesses.

We also have opportunities and threats.

We often do what businesses talk about as a SWOT analysis in our own lives.

It isn't just about defining what those life moments are like and being able to

craft them and shift them into a mold that we feel comfortable in portraying.

It is about feeling good about who we really are, and that's really the

ultimate purpose of having a relationship.

We want that relationship to create not only the underpinnings of many different

things and values within our lives, but we want them to provide opportunities

for ourselves and for others that we get to connect with, that's why

that is one of my core values that I do have that represent the business

that I've been working with and with the clients that I work for as well.

Sometimes it means being a little bit selfish and knowing that sometimes you

don't have all the answers for even the people that you're interacting with,

and boy, I can't tell you how many times in a relationship that I have

been that way, how I've been felt like I've been subjected and not creating

that value for somebody else or even myself now, even doing it right now.

Thinking about why I'm creating this imposter syndrome for myself as I

try to understand the relationships that are meaningful in my life, to

understand where I went wrong and why I'm disconnected from some of the people

that I've wronged and I'm telling you, I have done a lot of wrong in my life.

Isn't that the purpose?

Isn't that the motivation for us to be a human?

We have to have those learning experiences so that we're able

to rise to the next level.

It isn't about stomping on someone else or saying that I'm better than you.

I've heard that a lot in my life, especially in the professional

realm, but that doesn't mean that it has to be always that way.

What I'm really trying to say about the importance of having relationships is it's

not just about what the connections are.

It's not just about what you are in the inside.

It's about finding identity in this world that sometimes has shifting priorities

that sometimes is very hard for all of us to understand why and how we are

able to interact in these big, vast buckets that we sometimes put ourselves

into, and then pouring ourselves into another bucket, into another, yet

another bucket into yet one more bucket.

How do we spread ourselves so thin, that we no longer then have the

relationships that we can truly value?

For the longest time in my life, I always wanted to yearn for something

that was in my life that would fill me.

For many of us, we can answer that God is one of those individuals,

and I'm not here to preach on this podcast about what God can do.

What I am preaching to you though is how we can create more meaningful

relationships with those that are here on this Earth that we were able

to be able to walk on to create that systemic value, not only for those that

are around us, but also to enrich the empowerment, to create the skillsets,

the knowledge, the opportunities that lie dormant with inside ourselves.

The only way to really do that effectively without compromising ourselves is to

be able to create relationships that understand who we are as an individual.

I can't stress enough the importance of having that conversation with someone.

If you listening to this and you are alone and you haven't had that

opportunity to really talk about this with someone, I'm here; I'm ready to listen.

All it takes is just one person to hear you, to understand you, to make

you feel that you are worth it, and your will will explode an opportunity

that you never thought imaginable.

Imagine that one person turns into five people.

Five people turn into 25, 25 turns into 125.

You get the picture, right?

It has a multiplying effect.

It can change the way that we network of others, and it's all about connection,

but with having connection means you have to also understand what your purpose is.

We are all here on this Earth for one given purpose.

We're social animals, as Aristotle put it, and I think my political science

professor would even go as far as saying that not only are we political

animals in which we have to socialize, we have to be able to form ways and

methods of creating opportunity of governance to guide each other in being

able to help rise to the next level.

That means that we have to have relationships that are meaningful,

and that's what starts to create the well-being for all of us.

If you need help and you don't know where to turn, there are plenty

of resources out there for you.

Governmental agencies are the greatest starting point in which there are many

help lines to help you connect to the non-governmental organizations, the NGOs.

The private sector, those are individuals that care.

There are small businesses just like myself that are helping

other people realize their true potential so that they can start

to help you get to that next step.

All it takes is for your willingness to say, "I need to

have these relationship skills."

"I know that I can do this" is what the phrase has to be that you

tell yourself over and over again.

And if it's hard for you to do that, sit back and think about

the multitude of possibilities.

If you were living in that alternate universe where you created those

best relationships, whether they're personal, business oriented,

or some combination in between?

What if it would look like if you were able to create a relationship

for your wellbeing that took you to the next highest plateau that was able

to help you see who you really are?

If it wasn't for some people out there that are listening to this, I know I

would not have had that, and I know that I would not be able to be where I am

today talking to all of you; if it wasn't for those relationships that I continue

to build, even though that sometimes I might fail in them, I know that I can

rise from the ashes like a Phoenix.

So if you're out there, know that you're not alone.

You are here for one important reason, and if you're not sure what

that is, we'll find it for you.

We'll be able to take you to that next part, wherever that

might be for you, because you, all you need is just one reason.

As long as that reasoning can expand into multitudes, that relationship with

anybody will certainly be worthwhile.

Thanks for listening to episode number three of Speaking From

the Heart, and I look forward to hearing from your heart very soon.

Thanks for listening.

For more information about our podcast and future shows, search for Speaking From

The Heart to subscribe and be notified wherever you listen to your podcasts.

Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz for more information about potential

services that can help you create the best version of yourself.