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Creating a Word for the Year: Finding Your North Star
Episode 12625th January 2023 • Boomer Banter, Real Talk about Aging Well • Wendy Green
00:00:00 00:26:19

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As I welcomed a new year, I found myself contemplating the power of words and their ability to shape our lives.

Instead of setting resolutions I might break or forget, I chose a 'word of the year', a guiding light in my journey of personal growth.

This episode explores my journey with last year’s word ‘acceptance’ and how this year’s word ‘connect’ was chosen. You’ll learn the process of selecting a word that resonates with you and help you inch closer to the life you desire.

Episode takeaways:

  1. You can't fail when you have a word for the year. You just keep getting better.
  2. Know your WHY and create your vision.
  3. Get creative. Develop an image that makes your word fun, colorful, peaceful, impactful and put it someplace where you will see it every day.

Download the WORD of the year worksheet here: https://1drv.ms/w/s!Ao5cYCkwsgDIgZofqcbRw4b4fjvjkw?e=OH7x5j

Download the Vitality Assessment from https://heyboomer.biz

Subscribe on Apple PodcastStitcher Google Podcast. or Spotify

Follow us on FacebookLinkedIn and Instagram

You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz

Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going

through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to

“what’s next.”

Find out more about Wendy’s 6-week “What’s Next Transition” Coaching workshop

Support our sponsor: roadscholar.org/heyboomer

Produced by the the Greenville Podcast Company

Transcripts

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Hello. Welcome to Hey, Boomer.

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Live from New Jersey, my name is Wendy Green and I am your host for Hey, Boomer.

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And hey, Boomer is for those of us who believe that we are never too old to set a

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new goal or dream A new dream.

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I'm on a mission with a boomer to support and inspire older adults to find new

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beginnings, to confront endings and transitions, and to evolve into who they want

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to be and to who we want to be.

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And why am I in New Jersey?

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I am here for the wedding of the daughter of a very good friend of mine and a very good

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friend of mine. David drove up with me.

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And so I am getting to connect in all kinds of ways, which is perfect for me because my

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word for the year is connection.

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And some people have asked me how I came up with my word for the year.

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And so I thought today, since I am here in New Jersey without a guest, this would be a

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good time to go through the process that I use for word for the year.

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I did share a link to the worksheet that I use in the comment section on both Facebook

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and LinkedIn.

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So if you were able to download that, you can walk along with me.

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If not, you can always drop me an email.

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You can send it to Wendy at Hey Boomer Dot Biz and I will send that to you after the

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show. Or you can look in the show notes which will be part of the podcast and I will

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have the link to the document there.

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Before I get started, I wanted to thank our sponsor, Road Scholar.

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Road Scholar is the leader in educational travel for Boomers and Beyond and offering

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expert led adventures to all 50 states and over 100 countries.

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Traveling with Rhodes Scholars.

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One of my favorite ways to travel.

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You always learn something.

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You meet new people. It's really a wonderful experience.

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And I'm hosting a trip to Costa Rica June 2nd through the 10th, and there's a few spots

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left. So if you think you might want to join us and I'm telling you, it's going to be an

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amazing adventure, I hope that you will drop me an email.

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Again, it's Wendy at Hey Boomer Bizz, and I will send you all the information about what

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we will be doing in Costa Rica.

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So who wants to develop a word for the year?

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I used to set New Year's resolutions until I realized that I suspect, like many of you,

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setting a New Year's resolution was setting myself up for failure.

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Because once I didn't lead up to my resolution, then I was like, Oh, shoot, you

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know, I'm no good at this.

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I failed. And then you abandon that resolution.

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So think about it.

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Like, how many times did you over the years say, okay, this year I'm going to get in

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shape and you join the gym and you start working out and you get going and then, Oh,

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wow, that really hurt or huh.

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I just don't feel like going today.

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And before you know it, you're not going or you're very intermittently going.

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And boom failure.

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Or you say, this year I'm going to lose £10.

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And you start you get that diet going.

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You maybe buy special foods, whatever it is that you do, and maybe you start to lose a

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few pounds and then something comes up, right?

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There's this wedding to you, or it's your birthday, or you just got to have that piece

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of chocolate cake and then you're beating yourself up again.

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So when you start to fail on your New Year's resolutions, what happens?

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You start beating yourself up and that's no good.

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We don't want to be telling ourselves that we're lazy or we can't do it or we're not

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good enough. That's not the message we want to give ourself, but with a resolution.

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I have found we set ourselves up to fail with a word for the year.

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There is no failure because it's for the whole year.

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So if you mess up once you have the rest of the year to keep getting better.

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And the cool thing about it is the awareness of the word really helps us learn about

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ourselves, learn about how we can grow and we get better at it rather than giving up on

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it and feeling like we failed.

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So with that, I wanted to go through the process that I use to create a word for the

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year and hope that it will be helpful to you.

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So let me start with a couple of examples.

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Last year, my word was acceptance.

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I chose that word because I found that I could be and I'm sorry to admit this, but I

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could be judgmental of people that were very close to me when I saw them doing something I

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didn't think was good for them or was right for them, or they expressed an opinion that I

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thought was a wrong opinion.

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And many times I was very vocal about my disappointment or my not agreeing with them.

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So I chose the word acceptance so that I would get better at that.

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And I made a visual, a real pretty little graphic.

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Pretty is in the eyes of the beholder, right?

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So a pretty little graphic that I put up on my bulletin board so that I would see it as a

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reminder on a regular basis.

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Was I perfect at it?

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Oh, hell no.

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But did I get better at it?

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You bet I did.

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I found that.

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By keeping that word in my awareness.

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Many times I was able to and just take a breath and think about is it better to be

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kind than to be right?

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And I would take that breath and I would be more accepting, less judgmental.

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There were times when I just couldn't do it and I would lash out.

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And then I realized, okay, so that's a learning opportunity.

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What was it that triggered me and then get back to getting better at it.

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So this year I have chosen the word connect.

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And I have to say, I am so grateful to connect every week with you, my listeners.

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And I'm grateful that last week we had our first Hey Boomer banter and I was able to

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come out from behind the microphone and connect with many of you that way.

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And that was so much fun.

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We have a new banter coming up on February the 21st, and if you want more information

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about that, again, drop me an email.

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Wendi at Hey, Boomer DAVIES and I will share that information with you.

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I also love it when I see your comments saying hello or commenting on something I

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said, giving me encouragement.

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You know, it's it's interesting when you're the one behind the microphone and you can't

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see anybody you're talking to.

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It's so nice to see the comments or on my blog when I write something.

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So connection is important to me.

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It's also connecting with in real life, right?

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So I chose the word connection because I had gotten way too comfortable during the

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pandemic with being by myself, staying in my house, and I knew I needed to build back

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those friendships that I had been neglecting and also to build my networking practice and

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get out there and speak more so that more people know about the work that we're doing

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with Hey Boomer. So Connection is my North Star this year, and maybe some of you already

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know what your North Star word is for this year.

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But there are also people who have no idea what word to pick, how to pick a word, why

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they should pick a word.

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So before we start, I want to tell you there are no right or wrong words.

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The word you choose is the right word for you.

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You will choose a word that that stretches your comfort zone, or you will choose a word

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that makes you feel more peaceful.

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Or you will choose a word that gives you the impetus to learn a new skill.

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Every word you choose will be the right word for you.

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So what did I do with to start with?

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Well, on the worksheet, I share 65 possible words.

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Now, interestingly, the word that I chose connection is not on this list.

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But sometimes when you look at the list, you will see exactly the right word for you or it

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may inspire you to include a word that is not here.

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But, you know, it made you think about it.

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So the list includes words that are all over the board.

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They may be compassion.

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You may want more laughter in your life.

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Or maybe you realize you need to do more forgiveness in your life.

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Maybe you need more discipline.

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Or now you're ready to take a new risk.

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Try something new.

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Maybe you want to explore art.

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Or maybe integrity is the word for you.

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So what I would suggest is take a minute.

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Now, think about it.

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If you don't have your word, what is it that's going to be important for you this

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year to really help you reach ever stated as you want to reach?

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Like I said, it may be expanding your horizons, but it may be finding more inner

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peace. So it's the right one for you sometimes.

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There's a whole lot of words on this list that are going to be perfect for you.

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So what I would suggest is pick no more than three and then we'll narrow it down from

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there. Okay, So maybe you have your three now, and the next step in the process is your

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why? Why do you think the words you wrote down would be good for you?

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And I love seeing some of you sharing your words.

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Pike says. Clarity.

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Philip says, Serve gin says gratitude.

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Add great, great words, all of them.

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So now we got to find the why.

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So some of you have heard of Simon Sinek.

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He is an author, a business consultant, and he came up with the phrase Find your Why.

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And so in personal development and business, finding your why is really about.

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Finding. What is your purpose?

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Why it matters and why it matters is important.

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Josephine's action.

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Doris says Joy, love it.

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So finding your why motivates you to have more clarity.

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So my why for connection?

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Well, I think as I mentioned during the pandemic, I became too comfortable being at

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home. So I knew I needed to expand my connections in a business sense for the

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podcast and for my coaching.

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But I also wanted to reconnect with friends that I hadn't seen in a while.

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I wanted to get better at what I was doing, so I wanted to connect with other podcasters

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and other coaches and finding your why is really going to be important.

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So look at the words that you've chosen if you have more than one and describe why, why

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that's important.

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David has to hear discipline and peace.

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So it would be a good opportunity to think about why each one of those is important, and

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you'll might find that describing your wife or one.

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Just comes naturally describing a why for the other.

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Maybe that's a little harder.

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So maybe that's not the exactly right word for you this year.

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So once you have your why now we want to get to how is this going to make your life

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different if you live this word every day?

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How is this going to make your life different?

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And so this is where we really get to expand our imagination a little bit.

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And when when I'm coaching people, you know, and I say, well, what difference is that

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going to make for you? How is that going to make things better or worse?

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Or what's going to happen when you choose those words or choose that action?

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A lot of people, the chants start to come in, right?

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Well, you know, but if I do that well, but this is going to happen or I can't do that

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because of this.

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And so I say when you're writing this vision for what a day would be like if you lived

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this word. Take off those negative inputs that you're hearing in your mind and say,

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What if I could do this exactly the way I want to really be visionary in your

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description of this?

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So in an average day, if I was to live the word connection every day, what it would do

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for me is it would bring me away from my computer where I am easily spending too much

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time because I love what I'm learning.

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But it would bring me away from my computer and I would get this thought, You know what?

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I haven't seen Karen in a while.

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I think I'll call her.

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On a normal day, I might be like, Yeah, but I have too much and this is my vision.

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I'm going to call Karen and see if she wants to meet me later and we'll just go out and

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hear some music or we'll go out and have a drink or you know what?

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It is a beautiful day outside.

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I'm going to go for a walk.

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I'll listen to the birds.

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I'm going to see the beauty in the sky and it's going to it's going to integrate the

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connection I want with nature into my life.

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So once I have this vision of what this perfect average day would look like, it's

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much more balanced than what I have been living.

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And it again motivates me to want to live with more connection in my life.

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So think about your words.

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Serve clarity, Joy.

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How will your life be on an average day if you live that word that day?

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So now next step is to come up with ten things that you would attract into your life

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if you lived that word.

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I know ten things is a lot, right?

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And I'm guessing you won't find all ten right now while we're on this show together,

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but you might be able to come up with two or three.

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And then as the day goes on or a couple of days go on, you might think about it and come

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up with more. So for me, if I start listing some of the things that will be different for

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me or better for me, that when I live this word, stronger friendships, that will

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definitely see a bump if I'm spending more time with friends.

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Right? Possible speaking opportunities.

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Whew, that's pushing my comfort zone.

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But I'm going to get out there and do more speaking.

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Why? Because it's important to me to get the word out about, Hey, Boomer, so that more

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people are going to live these fully present, active, engaged lives.

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I'm going to be learning more things because I'll be working with other podcasters or

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other coaches, I'll be working with other speakers, I'll be working with organizations

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and I'll be learning from them.

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So there are so many ways that.

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Keeping connection as my North Star word for this year are going to improve my life and

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the work that I'm doing.

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Did you get a few?

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Did you write a few down?

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Okay, so here we go.

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Now that you know why you have a vision and you have a list of some of the possible

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positive outcomes that you can get by living this word.

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What's going to get in your way.

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These are the triggers.

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What is going to get in your way of living that word?

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In my case, these triggers are the internal blocks, right?

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It's my inner voice saying to me, Well, I'm too tired.

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I don't really feel like going out tonight.

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Or I tell myself, my week is already so booked.

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How am I going to possibly fit in a coffee date or a lunch date?

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I've got so much to do.

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Or I might tell myself, especially this time of year, it's too cold and too dark to go out

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tonight. I think I'll just stay home.

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But once I know what these internal blocks are, I can choose to reframe them to stop

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those internal blocks.

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And this is where we start to develop new habits.

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Right? So if I start to tell myself I'm too busy, I don't have time for this.

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I don't have time to go meet a girlfriend for lunch or I don't have time to go to a

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networking event. I'm too busy.

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It's now my choice to change that message, to say yes, but think about all the nice

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people you're going to meet and what a great opportunity to get out that you did choose

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connection as your word, right, Wendy So how exciting that now you have an opportunity to

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go out and connect.

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It's a habit change, right?

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So the process is to think about how you're going to change it.

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Now. Oh, one other habit that I did add to my my way of changing these negative words

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that I'm telling myself why I can't do it is that I have chosen an accountability partner.

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And every week she checks in with me to see how I'm doing.

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And just knowing that I have an accountability partner is so powerful because

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I can say to her, You know what I did this week for connections?

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Oh yeah.

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And she goes, Good job.

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Or, Well, who did you think about this?

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Maybe you could have done that instead of declining the opportunity.

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So it really she asked me questions to motivate me.

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I ask her questions because I'm her accountability partner also.

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So very good to have somebody tell somebody what your word is and get somebody to just

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check in with you once a week short, very short conversation.

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How did you do? Or maybe by email and then reinforce that?

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Okay, so you've got the habits.

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So the final part of the worksheet has to do with your vision for 2023 and how your word

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enhances that vision.

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So with my word, connect my vision.

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And this is a little different than your what your average day going to be like.

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This is like the full vision.

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So my vision is with more connection in my life, I will be able to spend more time with

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my family, my children, my grandchildren, my sister, my brother, my mother.

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So connection, more connection with friends.

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I'm excited about some of the things that I've already got lined up and can't wait to

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see how this year plays out.

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More connection with nature.

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I get revived when I'm out in nature, and so even when the weather is not perfect, to be

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able to just get outside, even it's just going on my back patio and watching the the

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leaves start to bud just a little bit or listening to the birds.

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It's worth it.

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Nature is so good for me.

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And of course, Costa Rica.

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Oh my goodness.

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Connection with podcasters, connection with audiences like you, my listeners, like

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audiences that I will be speaking to.

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I have a couple of opportunities coming up that I'm pretty excited about.

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And as I said at the beginning, I would recommend that you make a visual.

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I have a.

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A thing on my bulletin board again this year for the word connect.

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And it's very colorful and it has all those different pockets of how I want to connect

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with friends, with family, with nature, with other podcasters, with different audiences.

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And that is my North Star.

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So when I start to get into my internal blocks of going, Yeah, but I'm comfortable.

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I don't want to go out, I can look at that and go, okay, Wendy, you know, you chose this

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word because it was good for you and you want this.

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You know what your Y is.

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So go do it.

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And will I be perfect every day?

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No. But will I be getting better every day?

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You bet.

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So what are my takeaways for choosing a word of the year as opposed to a New Year's

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resolution? Well, you can't fail when you choose a word of the year.

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Clarity serve.

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Gratitude, joy, action, discipline.

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All of those words will stay with you for this year as you go forward.

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And you can't fail even if you're not living that word every day.

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You are aware of it and it keeps you moving on the path to living the word that's going

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to be impactful for you this year.

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And know your wide once you know your wife or those words that will also keep you moving

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and then have your vision.

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What will your life be like when you're living that word?

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Finally, get creative.

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Go ahead, make a picture.

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You can use your own artistic skills.

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You can use graphics you find online or in magazines, but make a picture that's going to

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inspire you and keep it where you'll see it every day so that you will know what word is

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going to make your life that much better for 2023.

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So I hope this has been helpful to you.

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It certainly has been fun for me to share this with you.

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Again, if you need to get the worksheet, you can email me at Wendy at Haberman Biz.

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You can also sign up for our monthly banter.

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It's $12 a month or $100 for the year, so that's the savings.

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And every month we will meet and talk about all kinds of interesting, fun things.

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And you get to meet new people, connect and again, send me an email at Wendy at Hey Biz,

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and I will let you know how you can go ahead and get that information.

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Also, please support our sponsor.

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Road scholar r0ad scholar dot org slash.

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Hey Boomer. And please use the Hey Boomer and go look at all the trips so that they

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know that we are supporting them as they are supporting us.

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I also wanted to mention the vitality assessment that I have on the Hey Boomer Dot

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Biz home page.

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So what the vitality assessment will give you is an insight into how energized you are

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by the life you're living now.

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So it will ask you a bunch of questions and then you'll get a score and you'll find out

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is your energy sustainable?

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Is it on the upswing?

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Is it on the downswing?

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Is it time to add some things or take some things away so that you feel more fully

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energized? Or are you feeling somewhat empty?

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Just enough energy to make it through the week.

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Or maybe not even that.

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And that's where putting in the effort to regain your vitality and to really feel fully

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energized is worth the effort.

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And that's where coaching can help you.

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So check out the vitality assessment on the Hey Boomer Dot Biz Home page.

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And let me tell you about my guests for next week.

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Super excited.

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Her name is Ellie Katz.

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And when I first spoke to Ellie, I really liked her right away.

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She is so compassionate and committed to the work that she is doing.

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Ellie Katz is the founder of an organization called Sages and Seekers.

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Sages are the older adults.

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The seekers are the younger high school kids, and their intergenerational program are

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designed to develop empathy and diminish social isolation and ageism while meeting the

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universal and compelling need of both young adults and elders to find meaning and purpose

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in their lives.

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You're going to love Ellie.

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You're going to love this program.

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I'm really excited to bring it to you.

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And as always, I like to remind you to live with passion, live with relevance, and live

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with courage.

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And remember that you are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.

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My name is Wendy Green, and this is Ben.

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