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In this episode of "A Changed Mind," host David Bayer delves into the profound interplay between mindset, spirituality, and personal growth. David shares his transformative journey from addiction to self-discovery, emphasizing the power of thoughts in shaping reality. He explores the concept of limiting beliefs and introduces his decision matrix framework to rewire the mind for success.
The episode also touches on the emotional impact of loss, using the death of David's beloved Chihuahua as a catalyst for deeper understanding and love. Through candid discussions, Bayer offers insights into creating a life of abundance and purpose, highlighting the importance of faith, non-resistance, and the interconnectedness of all experiences.
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SPECIAL MIND HACK/WHOLE HUMAN FRAMEWORK PROGRAM BUNDLE
https://mindhackprogram.com/bundle-acm
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09:09 Living in Reality Versus Distorted Perceptions
10:39 Consciousness and Belief Systems
30:35 The Role of Resentments and Forgiveness in Belief Transformation
1:00:34 Understanding the Four Levels of Consciousness
1:10:16 Plato's Allegory of the Cave and Reality Perception
1:14:20 Developing Faith as a Skill
"When Dexter died, I missed him so much that I had a greater love for him than I ever could have possibly imagined having. I thought I loved my dog as much as I could possibly love my dog until my dog was no longer here."
"Suffering is separate from the experience. And suffering is created by one thing and one thing only, which is our own thinking."
"The brain is a goal-achieving machine. Every result we are or are not producing in our life, down to the greatest detail, is a result of what we think on a moment-by-moment basis."
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David Bayer: And we were like, wow, this is crazy. Because what that means is that anytime you're thinking something that doesn't feel good, it's not true. So this became like a pandoras box that got opened for me. So my chihuahua dies. Of course, I'm in a primal state. I apply my own methodology, and I go, well, I know that Dexter dying is not why I'm suffering. It's what I'm thinking about Dexter dying. So I looked at my thoughts, and I discovered I had this thought that I was never going to see Dexter again. That's what was causing me the most pain. So I said, well, if that doesn't feel good, it's not true. I then said, why does death exist? I was hoping you'd go there. I was so hoping you'd go there. Why did this intelligence not just let Dexter live forever with me? When dexter died, I missed him so much that I had a greater love for him than I ever could have possibly imagined having. I thought I loved my dog as much as I could possibly love my dog, until my dog was no longer here. And now what I'm coming to understand is that after I finish this vacation called being a human being, I'm going to go back to the other side and not only see Dexter again, but experience a thing called eternity with him, with an even more expanded love for him. That's a brilliant system. That is a brilliant system that is always working for us. And it's just showing us that it's our misunderstanding of what's happening that is causing us our pain. Welcome to a changed mind. A journey into the topics that matter to you most. From the neuroscience and spirituality of mindset and personal growth, to groundbreaking strategies for health, wealth, and relationships. To open and honest conversations about pressing global issues such as the environment, censorship, corporate capture, and democracy. Each and every episode reminds us of the certainty of the goodness of the future and provides the teachings, tools, and timeless wisdom inspiring you to create real, lasting change in your life and in the world. If you've been desiring. A sanctuary for your spirit, a place to go to tune out the distraction, negativity, and doom and gloom so that you can tap into the deep power, the vibrancy, and the potential you have inside, you're in the right place. Welcome to a changed mind. Welcome to a changed mind. A sanctuary for your spirit. A place where each and every episode I remind you of the certainty of the goodness of the future. I'm your friend, your host, your guide, David Mayer. Today we have an unusual episode. It has been several years since I've done a live interview and I was asked to be on an up and coming show in the spiritual and personal development space called inspired evolution. It's run by Amrit Sandhu. He has a fantastic interview and Amrit asked me to be on the show. The show went live a couple of weeks ago and I wanted to be able to share it with you because I covered more ground in this episode than any podcast episode I've ever recorded, thanks to how brilliant Amrit is. We talked about everything from how do you actually let go of the limiting beliefs that seem like they just won't go. We talked about how we can leverage our understanding of fourth dimensional space to create more powerfully. Really taking this idea of your thoughts become things and you create your own reality originated by Napoleon Hill or really made popular by Napoleon Hill to the next level. We even got into conversations around my experience of death and the loss of one of the most beloved individuals in my life and how I managed it and what I learned through the process by applying the tools and techniques that we consistently talk about on the show and the great revelation I had as to why death exists in a loving system in the first place. So I wanted to share this interview with you. It's not often that I'm on the other side of the microphone with somebody asking me questions. Do me a favor. If you're listening on the audio platforms, give me a rating or review if you love it, if you're following along on YouTube, you've got the opportunity to ask me questions or leave comments. I try to read all of them, but you're going to absolutely love this interview. So without further ado, here's David Baer being interviewed by Amrit Sandhu. When I was 27 years old, that was before I was even aware that I was in my alcoholism, my drug addiction, my pornography addiction at a very deep level. I mean, those things had been going on. I think I got exposed to pornography at 13, probably got exposed to both alcohol and drugs in particular. For me, it was marijuana between 17 and 18 when I went to college. And it's a very confusing time for a young person growing up then. I can only imagine what it's like now because we've been domesticated into this idea of partying. But for some of us, the partying was the perfect medication for really early development of trauma and the fact that we are raised in an educational system that is very mentalized. We're not trained or taught how to experience our emotions or process our emotions and so that was a perfect combination for me. And I was a bright kid. I was a ruminator, you know, highly intellectual. And. And I developed this idea that I had learned at a very early age that if I could just be successful, then I'd be loved and I'd be okay. And so, you know, now in my early thirties, I had this cocktail of pursuing business success, playing hard, working hard, accumulating more unresolved emotional issues. And it finally got to the point, when I was in my early thirties, at 33 years old, that my life had become unmanageable. And I had one night where I went out and I blacked out. Nothing like that had ever happened to me. I had enough sense to realize, look, this is a problem. And I had been trying to stop drinking and drugging and sexing for a long, long time. And fortunately, I had a brother who was already in recovery who said, look, you got a problem. And so I was open to it. And I, you know, it's amazing when you look back and you see that there is an intelligent system or structure that is always working to, you know, on one hand, shepherd you towards your dharma, on the other hand, help you process your karma. And for me, I found this psychologist who specialized in the addicted brain. She understood neuroscience and behavioral psychology, and I had always been a good student. And I started working a twelve step program. It took me about 18 months going to three meetings a week to just start to get a little bit of sobriety under my belt. But I saw that I was changing, and I was also discovering a lot of the limiting beliefs, patterns of thinking that were creating a lot of the undesired cycles of experiences in my life, from toxic relationships to business challenges. And so once I had some sobriety, I was like, man, I wonder what's possible from here? And I went to the bookstore for literally, I think, the first time as long as I could remember. And I asked the woman at the front desk if there was a section for people who wanted to improve their lives. And she said, yes, it's called self help. And I was like, oh, wow, that makes a lot of sense. And I went up to the second floor of a Barnes and noble, and life leaves you the breadcrumbs. There's a little book on the floor just sitting there waiting for me called think and grow rich by Napoleon Hill. And then that became this bridge between what I had been recovering of my life in my twelve step program and then starting to expand my thinking and really start to re engineer who David was through personal growth. Yeah, you talk, you've taken that and really run with it because you go as far as saying that adjusting our mental operating system is actually the key to adjusting our destiny. So it's not just something that's actually, oh, just change your perspective and you'll feel different about what's actually happening in your life, actually downstream. From there, everything shifts and evolves. Tell us more about that. Well, I think most people are confused. They're wanting to create change in their life. They're wanting to attract a relationship or eliminate friction in a relationship, or be a better parent, or make more money, or grow their business, or overcome a chronic health challenge. And then we're trying to solve these problems without even understanding how reality functions. And the brain is a goal achieving machine. Every result we are or are not producing in our life, down to the greatest detail, is a result of what we think on a moment by moment basis. And so there's a new age spiritual conversation to this, right, how we create from the field and quantum mechanics, and we will dive into that. But I think a lot of people sort of think it's a very vegan thing to say that you create your own reality. No, that's just a fundamental understanding of behavioral psychology. Behavioral psychology tells us we have a distinction. We teach, we call it the five primary drivers, but it's a derivative. Behavioral psychology. It says what you believe, meaning the meanings that you gave the experiences of your life at a very young age. Because on a moment by moment basis, as you're growing throughout life, you're literally recording every experience. We can see in the first seven years of development that there's this massive proliferation of neural networks and synaptic connections in the brain. And a lot of that growth is development of memories. And so in every instance
We're recording what's going on, what we see, what we smell, what we taste, what we touch, what we hear. But we're infusing into that structure of our brain a meaning. Money is hard to make. Relationships never work out. I'm not good enough. You can't trust people. So these beliefs are formed at a very early age, actually, into the structure of our brain. And now, as an adult, at 30, 40, 50, 60, when you're having some present moment experience, your system is looking at what it matches up to from the past and what meaning you gave from the past, and it's bringing it up as a thought in the present moment. So when I was a kid, I was working on a school project in the first grade, and my dad was helping me and he was meaning well. And I talk about this in my book, and we were doing some school project, building these catholic missionary out of paper moshe and arts and crafts materials, and I had modified the design of the project while my dad was off doing something else. And he came back and he said, oh, what did you do there? And I said, oh, I thought I'd move these things over here. And my dad said, well, why don't we just do it the way it is in the design? And he moved it back. And I like what Gabor mate says. He says, trauma is not what happens to you, it's what happens inside of you. What happened inside of me at that moment was, I don't know how to do things right. I did it wrong. And the challenge is that now becomes a part of the lens through which I perceive my reality and the way that the brain and the nervous system and the human being operating system works.
ed result. There was a before:We can dive into the decision matrix and how beliefs are decisions, but we have a tool that really helps people with those low hanging limiting beliefs. It's highly effective. The second thing, and this was I had a breakdown in early 2022. I had a lot of things going on and I literally had a breakdown. I don't know how else to put it. And I went back into working twelve step, not around alcohol or drugs or sex, but around chronic worry. And as I was working the twelve steps again, I got to the step where you identify your resentments and then you forgive your resentments. And I was like, holy. So many of the limiting beliefs that I'm still holding on to, I'm holding on to because I'm still holding onto the people through resentment. So your belief systems are formed almost always in interpersonal relationships. So if you experience that dad, quote unquote, made you feel not good enough, you can work on not good enough till the cows come home, but until you let go of dad, you can't let go of that limiting belief. So resentments and forgiveness are a huge part of the beliefs transformation process. And then there's one more piece. You've got your run of the mill limiting beliefs, and we can talk about the decision matrix. You've got resentments and forgiveness. And so we have a whole process we take people through to inventory their resentments and to help them see forgiveness. And the third thing is called the Core program. And what I found is that every person, we've had over 10,000 coaching conversations in our organization, working with thousands of entrepreneurs. So it's a big data set. I mean, I've been coaching for a long time, but now I have teams of coaches, we have over 300 certified coaches, and we look at the data. And I was at an event that I was, obviously, I was at the event, I was hosting it, but it was one of my three day business retreats for entrepreneurs. And a woman stood up and she said, I've been in your work for a while. I've been doing the decision matrix. I did your courses. It's helped me cleared out so many limiting beliefs. She's like, but I keep working this one limiting belief over and over and over and over again and like, I cannot get rid of it. And this was about a month after I had discovered for myself my core program. And the core program is like a super limiting belief for me. It's, there's something wrong with me. So mine is, there's something wrong with me. It materializes as chronic worry. I'm afraid I'm going to do something wrong in my business and my relationship. It's also materialized in my body as chronic health conditions, because that's a great way to justify, there's something wrong with me. There's something wrong with me. I need doctors to fix it. And so every person has a core program. Jump in there for a sec. Sorry, Dave. Just. Just because also, you had a mother that was a consistent warrior, and then you had a dad who was also, like, quite critical of things as well. And there was that dance between them, and that's, you know, trickled down. I just wanted to sort of just emphasize again, we talked about it earlier how those things. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. No, and you bring up a good point. So your core program is if you took, like, the biggest limiting belief you got from your mom or dad that they held as well, it's their core program. And as if it had a baby, thats your core program. And so its forms the nucleus of your personality at a very early age. Its an unidentifiable trauma, usually because its not overt. And its what some healers will call the unhealable wound. And so no matter how much ayahuasca you drink or how many great tools like mine you use, or how many times you go jumping up and down in an event, no matter how much therapy you do it, you still have your core program. And the core program picks up momentum at about the age of 35 to 45 because it's neurological. So it's a defense mechanism. It's an aspect of your personality that was developed early on. And so, for example, this idea that there's something wrong with me drove me to be good at academics, drove me to be an early stage entrepreneur, drove me to develop a high mental acuity. And by the time you get to about 35 to 45, it neurologically overtakes the system. And so you may have experienced, or you may know people who have experienced this feeling of burnout, and the thing that they believe once got them to where they are is now the thing that's suffocating them in their life. That's the core program. And it becomes a very confusing period of time because you actually try to apply that behavior to solve the core program. And you just get more of. And this is what happens in drug addiction and alcoholism, because it's an addiction. It's an addiction to a set of thoughts and behaviors and perceptions. And even though you know that trying to go about solving this problem, whatever it is, the same way, is going to produce the same results, you still keep doing it, trying to dig yourself out with the same shovel. Yep. So it creates insanity in your life, powerless in your life, and unmanageability in your life. The good news is it's actually the seed for the next level of your growth. All of the things that you're actually looking for, the next level of your genius, the next level of clarity, the next level of financial abundance. It's all packaged up in this compressed energy of the core program. And the way to actually transform the core program into your next level of genius and who you're becoming is the process of surrender, which is a very misunderstood concept. So everything in your system is going to tell you to go do the core program to solve the problem. And we have a process by which we essentially teach people to go do anything else, go do anything else other than try to solve your health problem, try to solve your financial problem, try to solve your business problem, step away from the problem and get into the frequency of solution. And this is actually the mechanism by which a higher power brings us back into relationship with it. So if you're looking for a deeper spiritual connection, likely you're also struggling with your core program, because spirit is wanting you to let go of your core program to it, and then you get to have it all. Then you're no longer carrying this burden. You have a deeper spiritual connection, and you've unpackaged all of this compressed trauma and energy into new ideas and clarity and alignment and health and prosperity and abundance. And so there's a whole process for that. But your question was, hey, like, how come some limiting beliefs are harder to get rid of? And my answer is, because a limiting belief is not a limiting belief, is not a limiting belief just at this juncture, because I feel like we're talking about beliefs and still they can be something that people are tuning into, that feel wispy, feel etheric, and yet feeling into your work, you really ground it in. And I think it's not just beliefs that you ground in. You talk about personal development 1.0 versus personal development 2.0, and maybe this is a great place for you to just illustrate the point between the two, because you've mentioned it a couple of times in this conversation already, but then also beliefs. Cause after feeling into your. Or tuning into your work, it's the space between the synapses. Like, I'm programming your answer. I'll shut up. I'll let you speak. No, tell me the space between the synapses. Go for it. Yeah. That actually connects the different things that are happened, that actually sparking in your mind between thoughts and those. Like, it's almost like that it's not the gray matter in your mind, but it is the sort of. Yeah. The intelligence that is beyond the actual, like, wired intelligence in your mind. I almost see it as the space between those firing synapses that you've described is that that's where your beliefs are. You're firing in a certain way because things are being held by the field in a certain way. So if you can change the structure of the field, that was my download from your work. Right, I got you. Yeah, no, look, there's a lot of theory. We'll do the theory for a second and then get into the practical for people, you know, because it's interesting to talk about, like, our beliefs actually in the brain, our thoughts, in the brain of. Or is the brain just a receiving device that's very complex with all of its wiring and depending upon which wires you activate or, like, what channel you tune to, then you have access to the information, which are the thoughts, right? Yeah. So there's a lot of idea out there that consciousness does not reside inside the head. Consciousness is a field that is everywhere that holds all this information. And we have the ability to tune into that information through the specific emotions that we activate or our habits of thought. I think that to make this accessible for people because, yeah, where are our beliefs? Number one, it's important to understand that. Let's just suggest beliefs are part of the wiring of your brain, even though we just said it could be a different hypothesis. Let's just say that the beliefs are wired into your brain and you have the ability to rewire yourself. And then you say, okay, well, how do I rewire myself? And one of the most powerful distinctions that I became aware of was at this point in time, where I was giving up on personal growth. And this is where I talk about personal growth 1.0 versus personal growth 2.0. Personal growth 1.0 was a lot of the information, the inspiration, the motivation, some incremental changes in the way that I was thinking, but not the promises of all the different spiritual teachers and personal development gurus. Kind of made things worse at some point. Kind of makes things worse because you feel like you suck at your own personal growth. Yeah, it's like everybody else is making it sound like you can just get to the other side. But I'm stuck in this self help purgatory now where I'm super aware of my limiting beliefs, and I feel like I have even more that I don't know how to transform. But that's a natural part of the process, because that invokes within us a desire for more. Whenever we're experiencing a challenge or a problem, it's an invoking a desire for more. And as we talked about before, the key is to allow the more but move into non resistance nothing allow them more but focus on the problem. That tends to be what we do. So we get stuck in personal growth, and then we find a teacher that helps us. That was my experience or some distinctions that we become aware of. And the distinction that I became aware of that really helped me work with my beliefs at a deeper level was the beliefs are decisions. So when I concluded that I didn't know how to do it right with my dad in that school project, that was a decision. It was an unconscious decision, and it happened in an instant. But I'm very concrete. Yeah, I'm very clear that it was a decision that I made. So I started playing around with this idea of, like, well, but if I just made a decision back then, can't I just make a new decision right now? And if all of the evidence I have in my life for why I don't know how to do it right is simply a byproduct of, well, that's what the brain does once you make the original decision, it starts to accumulate all the evidence that supports it and ignore everything else. Like, why can't I just make a new decision? And then I even got curious. I was like, doesn't that mean that I might even have memories that support a different belief, but I'm just not consciously aware of them? And so I started researching neuroscience, and neuroscience says 88% of your perceptive reality you're registering, but not consciously. You're only paying attention to 12%. And that 12% you're paying attention to is what's in alignment with your beliefs. So I started messing around with this and started taking my limiting beliefs and knowing that they were actually decisions, making a new decision. So I made a decision that money was easy to make, and I made a decision that I was lovable, and I made a decision that I can trust people, and I made a decision that there's plenty of time to get done the things that are important to me to get done, because I was looking at all these limiting beliefs I had about not enough time. I'm not lovable, all this stuff. And then I created a third step, which was asking myself this question, what evidence do I have for the fact that the new decision is true? And in the beginning, it was a little bit uncomfortable because I'm like, I don't really have any evidence. But as I sat with it, I was like, oh, well, there was this one time. And then once I allowed that one time, I was like, oh. And then there was this other time, and then there wouldn't even be experiential evidence. I'd be like, oh, I believe this. Like, I really do believe this about how it works and the universe works. And before I knew it, after I kept asking myself that question, I'd write down 5678 things. All of a sudden, the new decision seemed way more true to me than the limiting belief that ten minutes before was my truth. And so I developed a structure called the decision matrix. And we've probably just delivered the decision matrix tens of thousands of times now. I mean, people are using it all over the world to support them in the transformation of these beliefs. And it's really powerful, because when you make a new decision, like when you get the beliefs or decisions and you're willing to make a new decision, everything starts to reorient and recalibrate, because that new decision starts to change the thoughts and ideas you have on a moment by moment basis. Because if you have a limiting belief that nobody will pay me for what I do, but you make a new decision that says there are thousands of people out there would happily pay me for what I do. And you can find evidence for the fact that that's true. Now you start to have thoughts as a person who believes there are thousands of people out there who will pay you for what you do. So you start having new thoughts and ideas. That's number one. Number two is you start paying attention to different things. There's a part of your brain, it's called the reticular activating system. You know this. It's that part of your brain where you buy the car, and then you see the car everywhere on the road. Well, a lot of the entrepreneurs we work with, we just get them to believe that people will pay them what they're worth, and then they go, oh, my God, I got a new client, and it was somebody I already knew. And it's like, well, yeah, of course, because that person was all but invisible to you because it wasn't in alignment with what you believed. So new decisions transform the way you think. New decisions transform your perception of reality. And the new decisions start to organize the cooperative components, the synchronicities, then the coincidences in a more supportive way. And so now you're working in the flow of information. You're working with the flow of life. You're consciously co creating. And so for the first year and a half of my personal growth, I would just wake up every morning. I woke up stressed all the time. I would write out all the crap that was in my head. Many days it was the same thing. And I would put it on the left side of a page. In the middle, I'd write down exactly the opposite. I'd make a new decision. And then in the third column I'd say, what evidence do I have for the fact that this is true? And so by the time I get down to the fifth or 6th one, I'm like, no, I think I'm good. I'm going on into my day, like, I feel much better. I move from a primal state into a powerful state of being. And so this is a process called neural pruning. You literally start to deactivate, because when you're not in this work, you'll just keep, you'll follow that rabbit trail and you'll think those thoughts all day long that you're not good enough or that you can't trust people, or. But this sets you up to just do reps in a different direction. And things can change very, very quickly. I really feel like this is where your work takes flight into a whole other dimension in the spiritual development, personal development space. Because I think talking about 1.0, many people tuning into this conversation. I know it's taken us now to get here in this podcast, but thank you for following along. Limiting beliefs, yes, we discussed that. And then also new empowering decisions like reprogramming those. And I love how for you it was, you know, it's, you just cut the cheese and the fat so well, it's just like, hey, limiting lift, just go for the opposite for just a quick sec, right? Come up with a new empowering decision in the decision making matrix. But where we step into a whole new altitude is existing evidence of the new decision. And I think that's really this linchpin where you ground in the new reality, but without even actually having to take too much action, really, it's reprogramming your belief system and structure, bro. Like, I can't that piece there. I just want to, like to zoom in on there for a sec before we get into the primal versus powerful state, because I think that's a whole new dimension that your work really opens up into. That's a really good point. I'm glad you brought that back, because the missing piece, for, if I can say, like, all of us, is integration. And that's the frustrating thing in personal development 1.0, is we have all the information, but it's the integration. And, you know, I had done a lot of work. I did the whole landmark education series. I did all the Tony Robbins work, read all the books. Wayne Dyer never really got into Joe Dispenza, because by then, I was kind of doing my own teaching. But I hear his work is great. Going to India, doing breath work, fasting, psilocybin, ayahuasca, MDMA. I mean, you've heard my story. Like, I went down the rabbit trail, and one of the things that I realized is that a lot of the earlier technologies that I was trying to use to change my beliefs didn't work because they weren't sourcing evidence from my own experience. So this is a lot of, like, I have no problem with incantations and affirmations, and I think they have a proper timeline in your kind of personal development toolkit. But a lot of people get into affirmations and incantations too early because you're just saying something and you haven't sourced any evidence from your own life to support it, and that actually creates even more resistance. Or someone else you can work with, a coach will tell you what they believe, maybe based on some evidence they have in their own life, but you have to source it from your own. There's no faster and permanent way to create a change in the way that you think than to actually source evidence from your own life to show yourself that your limiting belief is untrue. And so, like, if that's true, if we realize that there's no faster way to obliterate a limiting belief than to actually source evidence from your own life to see that it's untrue, and simultaneously source evidence from your own life to see that an empowered belief or a new decision is true, man, that's it. And so now we go, well, how do we get there? And we just ended up getting there through some simple questions in a simple process. There is a willingness. Like I said, sometimes I'm working a limiting belief, and it doesn't seem like I have any evidence for the fact that it's true. I lost my 14 year old Chihuahua. He was like the love of my life before I met my wife and had my son. He was with me in my addiction and the David after recovery. And when I lost him, I was in a tremendous amount of suffering. And after about 48 hours of just being in extreme pain, both me and my wife, I decided like, let me see what my framework would say about this. And so we're going to get into powerful and primal states, but I'll intro it right now. One of the things we teach is that there's only two states of being. Powerful states and primal states of being. And powerful states are states of being that feel good, like joy, curiosity, excitement, compassion, passion. And those are states that we experienced from the parasympathetic nervous system. When we're in rest and relaxation, it's really our connection to spirit is that state of being. Then there are primal states of being. States like boredom, anger, fear, jealousy, overwhelm, stress, judgment, criticism, and all the behaviors that go along with it. States of being that don't feel good. And that's what we're in, the sympathetic expression of the nervous system. We're reactive. We're not using the advanced tools of the advanced human being. We're using the primal humanity. You're always in one state of being or the other, and you're never in two states of being at the same time. Describe the states a little bit. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I was going to get. No, that's okay. So you're either happy or you're bored. You're either calm or you're angry. And so we're always in an emotion. And this is a beautiful binary breakdown. You either feel good, you're in a powerful state of being, or you don't feel good, you're in a primal state of being. Just know you're always in a state of being, and you're never in both at the same time. And so to me, this has become the guiding north of my spiritual practice. Because everything I want to create is going to come from a powerful state. That's where compassion, creativity, abundance, prosperity, healing, restoration, intuition, communion with God, whatever it looks like that's coming from a powerful state of being in a primal state. I don't get any of that. So personal development can feel very confusing. Like, where do I start? And I would say, start acknowledging that there are two states of being. And the name of the game is, notice when you've moved into a primal state and moved back into a powerful state of being. So then you go, well, how do I do that? You say, well, the next understanding we must have is that the thing that determines whether we're in a powerful state or in a primal state is not the experience. It's not how much money you have in your bank account. It's not how long this chronic health condition has been going on. It's not the argument you just had with your spouse. It's not that the marketing campaign didn't just work out. It's the meaning that you're giving the experience. The meaning that you're giving the experience that I'll never be well or that I'll never get out of this situation, or it's never going to change. That's what's determining whether you're in a powerful state or a primal state. It's not the experience. Suffering is separate from the experience. And suffering is created by one thing and one thing only, which is our own thinking. So one more distinction. As we lay this out, after 10,000 coaching conversations, we realized something. Whenever we were working with our clients and they moved into a primal state, it was their thinking, not the experience itself. And when we identified what the thinking was, 100% of the time, it was a limiting belief. So by the time we took the thinking and we worked a decision matrix around it, they would take the thinking that was causing suffering, come up with a new decision, find evidence from their own life, and then they would say that thing that I told you before, that I was thinking, that was causing me to move into a primal state. I don't think it's true anymore. And we were like, wow, this is crazy. Because what that means is that anytime you're thinking something that doesn't feel good, it's not true. So this became like a pandora's box that got opened for me. So my chihuahua dies, and Im talking about how sometimes its hard to find the evidence. My chihuahua dies. Of course, Im in a primal state. So I apply my own methodology and I go, well, I know that Dexter dying is not why Im suffering, its what Im thinking about, Dexter dying. So I looked at my thoughts and I discovered I had this thought that I was never going to see Dexter again. Thats what was causing me the most pain. So I said, well, well, if that doesn't feel good, it's not true. So some form of the opposite must be true. Now I'm working on a new decision, right? That's a limiting belief. The new decision was, I am going to see Dexter again. And then I said, okay, got it. What evidence do I have for the fact that this is true? And I came up against a brick wall. So that was the first time that I ever just put a pin in it. Two days later, I'm going for a run around the park. All of a sudden, I have this idea to google near death experience pets. So I get on my phone, I google near death experienced pets. There's a woman, she died for 23 minutes, crossed over, came back. When she crossed over, she met her colleague, had a whole conversation with her colleague, went on to talk about what it's like on the other side that was very in alignment with my belief systems, and then came back into life. And so the evidence that came to me was that I will see Dexter again on the other side. So when I realized that I will see Dexter again, I immediately moved out of suffering. Did I still miss him? Yes. Do I wish he kind of lived longer? Sure. But he lived as long as he was supposed to. But what was causing me all this pain was not the loss of my furry friend. It was the belief that I was never going to see him again. And by working the process in the decision matrix, within 48 hours, I had a hunter in inclination. I went and googled it, and I got my answer. And can I just double click on this real quick? So I then said, why does death exist? Like, in a sense, I was hoping you'd go there. So hoping you'd go there in a system, if this system is so perfect and always working for us and can help us achieve any of the more that we want, and it's only asking us to be non resistant, not to hustle and grind, not to be perfect, not to be smarter, but just get out of the way, because this battle is not your battle to fight. It's the Lord's battle to win, that doesn't mean that we don't take action and we're not part of the system, but the game is so designed in our favor, and everything is loving, and that's what all the great spiritual teachers talked about. Why did this intelligence not just let Dexter live forever with me? And so this is what I came to realize. And these are the revelatory discoveries you can have when you clear the space of your limiting beliefs. Because when your limiting beliefs are no longer taking up the space, new insights and revelations drop in. And this was mine. In this particular instance, when Dexter died or left the physical, I missed him so much that I had a greater love for him than I ever could have possibly imagined having. I thought I loved my dog as much as I could possibly love my dog until my dog was no longer here. And now what I'm coming to understand is that after I finish this vacation called being a human being, I'm going to go back to the other side and not only see Dexter again, but experience a thing called eternity with him, with an even more expanded love for him. That's a brilliant system. That is a brilliant system that is always working for us. And it's just showing us that it's our misunderstanding of what's happening that is causing us our pain. But I do believe, just like in our own individual lives, there are things that happen to you, and I am, years ago, where we look back and go, that was the best thing that ever happened to me. We're going to look back after we leave the physical body and be like, man, that was the best thing that ever happened to me. And all of this is going to become explained to us. But I think if we can apply these tools that, you know, I mean, some people might think what I just said is new age. I think it's a very practical approach to evaluating one's life and the experience of loss. Using your nervous system as an emotional guidance system and fundamental behavioral psychology principles and understanding of metaphysics to start getting real about reality. Because I think the biggest problem right now is that most of us are not living in reality. We're living in some distorted version of it that's being driven by our fears. And we see that not only in our own individual lives, but we see that at a macro social level as well. I mean, how does one ask a question after you've helped reconcile so much around the heaviness of, of death that is beyond profound, that the entire experience of death is also there as a mechanism to encourage deeper and deeper levels of love. And you mentioned this quite a few times, or maybe it's just in my mind, but the Einstein quote, that you've got an important decision. You know, we talked about beliefs and decisions on your hand. You know, you're either going to make the decision that the universe you live in is hostile or it's your greatest ally. You know, he says it's the most important decision whether you live in a friendly or hostile universe and to reconcile that with what you've just shared. Like, you know, there's been some really close people that I lost a mentor a few years ago, and just the truth of what you're sharing in terms of how much more she means to me. And I didn't realize, like, well, no, I didn't realize I loved her a lot. Touchwood. And then also her transition, like how that love has grown and matured and, you know, just the everlasting nature of it continued to be elicited and impressed upon me as she's gone. But I still form, I still have the bond that has been nothing short of profound. And you're right, the love has deepened. And I don't think it's new age. I think it's actually, if we sit with that, that is, it's like, yeah, there's more than enough in this podcast already, but that in and of alone of itself, because so much happiness around death.
in a primal state, its still:It's like the people are sitting there, and they're chained up and there's a fire behind them and it's casting shadows on the wall, and they think shadows on the wall are real, like trying to change something going on in your reality by manipulating your reality or controlling your reality, which is what so many of us do, or try. That's like not liking the end of Avengers Infinity Stones, when Thanos snaps his fingers and kills everybody and trying to go up to the screen and remove the gemstones from his gauntlet. Like, that doesn't make any sense. You want to change the scene, you go back and you change the movie and the projector and it projects. So we're all very, very much lost in this projected reality because, again, going back to what we talked about before, our senses interpreted into a very physical experience, so it seems real, but it's really just an effect of what originated in this thing we're calling the fourth dimension. It's really powerful because I have to admit, I never fully grasped the, like. Plato's allegory has always been difficult to digest in terms of, like, he's alluding to Maiya, but there's this other reality which is actually real, and then there's projections of those real ideal manifestations of, let's say, a horse. And we're seeing like, the shadow aspect of the horse in the. Yet I find when I come, I don't know how you do it, David. I really don't know how you do it. It's like, as I come into your work, there's this. It's massively expanding, and yet, like, you've used the term a few times. I'm just going to lean into it. It's binary, like ones and zeros. It just becomes super clear. You've. And I think there is this level of. And, you know, I don't want to gas you up too hard, but it's. We can, it's our podcast. We can do whatever we want. It's. There's a certain level of mastery that is, you know, it becomes self evident when things are simple to digest. And I have to say, you know, coming into your work, it's the first time I've really gone, oh, yeah, I get what the allegory of the cave is referring to. You know, there's this whole body of work internally within us that is being shadowed out. Like that light within is actually reflecting in our 3d material reality. And mysticism 101 goes on to say, you know, reality's not happening out there. Like, just close your eyes, you're still happening. Like, but you're seeing reality happen in your head, but it's happening in your head, you know, and it's like, therein starts the whole mystical journey. That's a really good comment on mysticism, too. And mysticism, that is where we can get lost. And, you know, you had on this great rosicrucian teacher. I don't remember what his name was. I loved watching that interview. Robert J. Gilbert. Yeah, yeah, he's great. He's great. And I saw him on Andre show, and, like, I've watched him a couple of times. And my wife is now getting into this Waldorf way of living, which is an educational structure that was created by Rudolf Steiner, who was really the Rosicrucian who brought all this stuff public. And rosicrucianism is basically taking all the disparate spiritual teachings, like Himalayanism and the other eastern teachings and the holy Cross and the teachings of Jesus, and incorporating them into a system. And one of the things I really like about that work is that, like, it's about spiritual and material and navigating through. And so I don't think we're well served if we're just like, yeah, reality is not real. It's like, well, but in this incarnation, that's how it's designed to be experienced. But let's understand the root cause of how this reality is materializing so that we can actually affect change not only for ourselves, but, you know, for the people we care about and ultimately for the world. Because what we're seeing in the world right now, if someone came to me right now and said, hey, I'm experiencing a lot of financial insecurity in my life, I would say, well, let's take a look at your belief systems, because you're experiencing something that you don't like and you have the opportunity to change it. And right now, we're experiencing a lot of things globally that we don't like, but I think we're kind of falling for the movie screen again. These things are just a projection of the collective unprocessed traumas and fears that we're holding inside of ourselves. And so in the same way that we would improve our lives if we want to improve the world, I think it goes back to the same thing, like learn how to heal yourself and live more in faith than in fear. That was one of my big takeaways earlier on in our conversation as well, that faith is actually a skill. And I was going to comment on it, but the conversation went in a different direction, that faith actually is a skill, and it can be built because you said that you were actually. Faith is something I exercised and I developed. And I think for many of us, we sort of feel like we have it or we don't have it. I remember in my life, courage is one of those things. I thought I it was like, we either have it or we don't have it. And then my whole life changed when I was like, oh, courage is a skill. Like, you exercise courage in the face of fear. Go look at your fears, work towards them, do some fear setting, try and see what you can massage your way towards and gently overcome and conquer. And you actually become more courageous as you go. And that was a huge takeaway from today's podcast, that faith is actually something that you can develop. Now, Matthew, another piece of scripture, just while we're here, more will be given to those that has irked me forever. And once again, you know, your teachings have really helped reconcile that to the nth degree. Please, the floor is yours. Yeah. So Matthew writes about a teaching which is, to whoever hath or whoever has even more shall be given, and to whoever has not, even that which they have shall be taken away. And you read that and you go like, how is that a loving universe or a loving system? To the person who has stuff, theyre going to have even more. And to the person who has very little, theyll be stripped of what they have. And its speaking to the momentum of this, what is more contemporarily called law of attraction. It's talking to the momentum of like, if you've gotten to a place where you've created abundance for yourself, there's a momentum and you'll keep creating more abundance. And if you're living in scarcity, even what little you have will be stripped away. And that's what's so many things that are so powerful. But again, I really appreciate Florence Goville Shin and Neville Goddard and these teachers of the early 19 hundreds who interpreted the teachings of the Bible through the lens of laws of consciousness. It helped me make sense of the Bible. And then that actually opened me up to looking at even more scripture and wanting to understand more about what's being spoken about. One of the things I've gotten into recently is the writings of CS Lewis. He wrote the lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and the whole Narnia series, and he discovered Christianity later in life. And I'm reading his book right now called Mere Christianity, and he talks about God being a way maker, and a way is always being made, and the universe is a way maker, and the way is always being made. And so no matter what youre struggling with or what you want right now, going back to the more conversation away is being made. And in scripture it talks about, I make a way in the wilderness, streams and rivers, in the desert. And so life works with us in a higher level of thinking that were capable of. And that just makes sense because if each and every one of us are just the individual expression of spirit, but theres this collective spirit thats called infinite intelligence. Its got pretty much a birds eye view of everything. And so it's organizing all of humanity to support you in materializing into your life, not necessarily what you want, but what you believe. And the beautiful thing about it is, even if what you believe is in contradiction to what you want, as you continue to experience more of what you don't want, eventually that brings you to a waking up process. So the system is perfect and it's working all the time. And this is an important metaphor to understand in our lives, because we all get to a point where it's like, man, I've been working on this business forever, and I just can't make it happen. And man, I just been, I've been alone for so long, and I just, I want to meet someone. And man, my relationship's been so toxic for so long. I just don't know if it can ever be better. And if you apply the principles that we're talking about here, and then I go deeper on into the book, and you start to look at where you're responsible, and you start to clear out some of those limiting beliefs and those habits of thoughts and habits of emotion. And if you're willing to not focus on the problem, but get clear on what you want and what the desire is, another component is know that there's a great way maker that's making a way, and it works in such extraordinary ways. Think about how crazy this is in the Bible. Moses is leading the Hebrews out of slavery, slavery of the old life, slavery of the old mind. And they come up against the Red Sea, and there's no way to go across. And God is the great way maker. The way we would have made a way is we'd be like, hey, let's organize some boats to carry the Hebrews across the Red Sea. God's like, that's not how I roll. I'm going to ask Moses to outstretch his hands, and I'm going to part the red seas. In addition to that. That way you don't have to take a rocky ride across the Red Sea, you can just walk on dry land, but. And we could go like, my God, it's the great way maker. And it's done that in our lives. Every time we thought there wasn't a way, a way became available. So, yeah, look, this work is binary. There's a starting point. What do you want? What's the problem? Two states of being, beliefs or decisions, decision matrix. And then you go deeper and deeper and deeper. And part of that process is the development of faith, because faith isn't a thing that you get. Faith is a thing that you do. And I could not give myself permission to have the faith that I have today if I hadn't understood all of these pieces had tools to let go of the resistance that no longer served me, to know that it was okay, that I wanted more. You know, it's a big body of work, but. And that's why I think the greatest hobby we can have or undertaking we can put upon ourselves is to understand how all this works, because what else matters, everything else is just a byproduct of this. And I'm very excited because, you know, it's not only my teachings. I think there are other great teachers that are emerging right now, because I do think it's a time in our evolution, in a time in consciousness, where we're ready for tools. We're ready for tools for integration. And so those tools and those understandings are coming, and they're coming in simpler and simpler forms that more and more people can access, because we don't want to continue to live into our trauma and extinguish our species. And I'm 100% convinced that that's not going to be the case. You've heard me on my podcast. I believe in the certainty of the goodness of the future. And for anybody listening to your show right now, the time is now. Like, as Jesus said, now is the appointed time. So let's get going. David Bayer, officially brother Bear. Oh, man. Thank you so. Oh, my God. How do I. Okay. Thank you for today's podcast. Yes, yes, yes. But thank you so much. Not just for today's podcast. We've connected personally outside of this space. And, yeah, your generosity, your spirit, your spirit, you're just. Today's just a taste of just how you show up in the world. And I'm so grateful for everything you do, body of work you've put out in the world, but all of that, really, you know, you've dug deep within yourself and to really uncover the gems and continuously doing this work and embodying it. We talked even at the beginning of this podcast and I hope you don't mind me sharing. Like, you know, a couple of weeks ago you had Covid going on, you're like, how good is that? Like now I don't have to get it later. And I was just like, embody the principles much, bro? And you know, like just, I guess the gratitude piece for you. Just really grateful that you're here doing the work and it's just such a pleasure and honor to be connected to you and sharing your work with the world in this way is just my absolute pleasure and honor. So thank you so much for doing this with us. I will put a link to accessing your book in the show notes below. I'll also put a link to your YouTube channel in the show notes below and your website for everybody to go check out and changedmindbook.com dot. I hope you don't mind me sharing that with people because if you get into the book, you will get directed into that, into going to check out some of the diagrams and images there. But we discussed a lot of those things. The decision making matrix, the five primary drivers, and the ordinary models of thinking how to hack your mind, get the high power system. There's a lot of great tools in there. Changedmindbook.com as well. You guys can go check that out. I'll put a link to everything and all those rich resources in the show notes below. Brotherhood, thank you so much. Yeah, Amrit, I appreciate you just for being such a great leader and leading so many people into this information that's going to change their lives and change the world. So likewise.
I know we talked about it. It's not easy. We got kids, we're working through stuff. You got a seven month old, but you just, you get up and do what's asked for you each day. And I just appreciate you and thanks for having me here. Hey, it's David. One more thing. If you want to go even deeper on everything we've talked about on today's episode, don't forget to jump over to www.davidbear.com. you can find the link in the show notes and subscribe to our newsletter. A couple of times a week, I'm going to be sending you the latest episodes that we've released, along with additional free trainings. You'll get immediate access to my free mindhack ebook and go even deeper into all the tools, the technologies and the frameworks that have helped tens of thousands of people established a changed mind. Don't forget to jump on over to the site, and I will see you in the next episode. On over to the site, and I will see you in the next episode.