Artwork for podcast Thrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)
New podcast Direction
Episode 16316th October 2022 • Thrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast) • Zach Spafford
00:00:00 00:15:18

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Hey, everybody welcome to our podcast I think you guys probably noticed something that there was no intro music. did you did you guys notice that did you notice that Darcy I don't know because I can't hear it. So. If you notice that there was no welcome to episode number 163 this is the one hundred and sixty third episode of our podcast the podcast that I've been producing since October of 2019 so that's kind of cool and you probably notice that there's no intro music or intro. Whatever. That we usually hear every time you turn on the podcast. We're changing. We're growing and we're looking to become hopefully more valuable to you as we do that. So the very first thing that I want you to know from us is that there's a name change. You might have noticed that. Maybe when you open up your app this morning for the first time in a week that that the name of the podcast has changed to thrive beyond pornography or it might not be updated yet depend. Yeah on you might know same device to use. It can sometimes take a week for that to like process through. Apple Podcasts or Amazon or Spotify wherever you're listening from that said, the reason we changed. The name is a really important one and d'arcy and I have we've kind of worked a lot on thriving.

Becoming a thriving couple becoming individuals who are thriving on our own and hopefully you guys have been doing the same for yourselves. So we want to focus on. And and this is the second thing that you'll probably notice as we go forward. Is you know we're going to continue to focus on individuals who have struggled to overcome pornography. We are also going to integrate what was once separate coaching for individuals to couples and those in relationships. Who want to not just eliminate a pornography struggle from their lives. But really begin to move past that and begin to thrive and begin to create growth and intimacy in their most valuable relationships. Darcy and I have worked on that a lot ourselves we we found that. And and I've said this to so many people as they've come through and done a consult with me or just talked to us in random places at random times because people stop us and they're like hey you talk about porn all the time. Yeah, absolutely. Um and I've said this so many times it's when the couple. Really does the work together is when the relationship moves forward the most effectively and it's also when the person who struggles with pornography is able to move forward most effectively. It's when the person who doesn't struggle with pornography who may feel wounded and.

Oftentimes the word betrayed comes out and they are trying to find a new reality that they're proud of we we want to help both those people we want to help spouses. We want to help the person who struggles. So that's why we're changing. From from the self-mastery podcast to thrive beyond pornography. Additionally, we are going to change some of the things that we do in our coaching our coaching will now offer more to both spouses as they work together to move forward. Through and then beyond the struggles that have been keeping them from thriving. So if you've been listening to our podcast long enough. You've probably noticed that we don't just say hey remove pornography and everything's going to be amazing. And one of the things that we realized in our own journey was that just stopping the behavior of Zach turning to pornography did not necessarily create the thriving marriage that we wanted the intimacy and the connection. And the sexual relationship that we wanted. It was a great thing and it was exciting when he did stop turning for pornography but it it wasn't the answer to creating the thriving marriage that we wanted to yeah it didn't help heal.

Everything that needed to be healed and it didn't give us necessarily the tools to actually enjoy each other to not make it problematic when something went wrong and to you know, keep from creating long-term rifts in our in our relationship. So what's this look like for you. Well we're gonna keep producing all the same great content that we have. We're gonna continue to be here every single week. We're gonna work to integrate the relationships into each podcast that we produce and and that we offer sometimes you're gonna hear Darcy. Alone and sometimes you're gonna hear me alone and sometimes you're gonna hear us together. But our main message is going to be more focused on the marital relationship and thriving beyond pornography. Yeah absolutely and if you're part of our membership. You're gonna get. More access to the resources that we're going to create for spouses and of those who struggle with pornography to help if you're part of the membership you're going to get more great resources to for spouses. Of those who struggle with pornography to help you not just move through the difficult and often challenging work that you're going to be doing to overcome the difficulties. The pornography has contributed to your relationship but we're also going to help you by providing resources.

To help you begin to thrive in your marriage and as an individual beyond that pornography struggle if you've been listening for a while you might have gotten to a place where you're feeling like I've got a pretty good handle on my actual pornography struggle. But you might realize that. There's areas in your marriage that are still struggling despite your ability to have a relationship with pornography that's more in line with who you want to be and who you've essentially committed to be in your marriage. Yeah and I and I think this is really important because. You know I can't tell you how many clients have come to us from other coaches from other programs from other systems where they said you know I got a handle on pornography and then my marriage didn't get better and that made it so that pornography continued to be. Ah, resource for me to deal with my feelings to deal with what was wrong in my relationship to deal with all of the difficulties that you know we just don't have a lot of coping skills to manage through so this is about not just eliminating 1 particular issue from your life. But it's really about.

Moving beyond that issue and into a place where your marriage is so much better and if you're struggling with pornography if you're the person who struggles with pornography you know in our in your coaching with me and in coaching and the membership. Not only are we going to keep working to eliminate unwanted pornography. We're not gonna we're not gonna leave that by this wayside. But you will also begin to have resources that are going to help you thrive both in your marriage and as an individual beyond this pornography struggle. So next week we're going to have all new production values and we are going to start a 3 part series that will begin with our story. As you've never heard it before we're so looking forward to this Darcy and I have been working together to make this happen for a long time and we are really excited to offer this new direction to you all our listeners and we hope that you will share this with others so over the past. About 3 years well it it's been 3 years yeah it's been 3 years said where we we started this podcast mostly it was Zach doing this. It was mostly Zach's business and I was kind of like the sidekick hey Robin yeah to my and. I'm ready to step in and not just be a sidekick I want to be an active participant in our coaching practice. Um I'm really passionate about helping wives get to the place where they're not only just thriving there. But.

I'm really passionate about helping the wives get to a place where they're not just surviving every day but they're truly thriving in their lives and we've kind of made this shift because. That's what we're most passionate about we are most passionate about the marriage relationship. Um, and our upbringing. You know there's been a lot of discussions around pornography destroying marriages and we we. That's our goal like our goal is to help end that struggle and really create strong healthy marriages Even when Pornography is an issue. Yeah and when Pornography has been an issue.. There's a lot that goes on both in the in the minds of. The spouse and in the mind of the person who is struggling with pornography and we want to help go through that with you and create not just a marriage but a thriving happy marriage not just something to endure but something where you can have joy and passion. And compassion and love and Intimacy. So Our hope is that if you are someone who's struggling with pornography and you're married that this can be a podcast that you and your spouse can listen to together or maybe you listen to separately and then you come together and discuss what it is that you hear.

We want this to be a great resource for married couples who are struggling with pornography and if you're in that process and maybe your spouse isn't ready to have this conversation start doing this work yourself regardless of what side of it. You're on and as you do that work your spouse will begin to come along. We know that for a fact because that's often been the path that each of us has had to take separately one of us would move forward while the other one waited then the other one would move forward while the other one waited and in our experience over these last three years Zach has coached hundreds of men. And there's been a couple handfuls of the wives who have worked with me and we found that when both the husband and the wife are working together and both committed to this process. It goes a lot more smoothly and. Couple seem to get to a better place in the end. Yeah, they really do get to a better place and I think that is the key we want to get your marriage to the place where you are so proud of it and so pleased with your lives that you would never go back. And when you look back and you see what progress you've made. You can be super super proud of it and you could share it with everybody around you all right? My friends we're so looking forward to this journey with you. All we're grateful for your listenership. We hope.

We pray that you will share this with someone who needs it because it is so so much it it shows your love when you offer this to someone who does need it and we love to help as many people as we can. So thank you for listening. And we're looking forward to seeing you next week bye still