Shownotes
In this integrative episode, host Kasey Lian welcomes guest Kris Belfry, who shares his journey of becoming a chiropractor and energy practitioner focused on helping individuals connect their minds and bodies by relaxing their nervous systems. Kris outlines his process of raising awareness, and using breathwork to release stress and trauma.
Discover more on Kris Belfry's site: BelfryWellness.com
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Transcripts
OK. Hello and welcome to You World Order Podcast showcase. I'm your host, Kasey Lian, and I am pleased to introduce our guests for today. Kris Belfry. Kris is going to discuss with us how he successfully coaches, teaches and supports.
::People in how they connect to their mind and their body by relaxing their nervous system.
::Kris sounds so fascinating.
::I'm really excited to get the conversation started, so why don't you just jump in and tell everyone about yourself, your story, how you got here, all the good stuff?
::This is the show about you.
::Well, thanks.
::Thanks for having me, Kasey.
::Yeah, my story really starts at 13, and I was in a serious car accident and almost died.
::But in that moment I realized that I really wanted to help people.
::And you know, it's not something actually seen until later down the line, but a lot of my family and friends had noticed that this, you know, there was a change in me and it kind of led me to go.
::I didn't know what I wanted to do in high school.
::I knew I like two things like.
::Science and I like sports.
::So I went to school to be an exercise scientist and in university.
::I kind of got to the idea our my main professor was a sports psychologist and a doctor in sports psychology.
::So we really talked about that whole mind in sports.
::And so I love that idea of like placebo and that idea of like how we thought of and so even back then and this was in the 90s.
::How golfers were visualizing their shots and basketball players were.
::Visualizing you know their shots, baseball players pitchers would visualize, you know, pitches.
::And before a game.
::And you know, those things kind of fascinated me.
::The natural ability to heal, you know, with like exercise and the benefits, obviously we all know benefits of exercise, but it really but it like a deeper level.
::So I really wanted to explore.
::Like more of a natural way, because at the time I was looking at maybe physical therapy pharmacy be a doctor, I didn't really.
::So once I kind of got that, I really realized like I want to find something more natural and I found chiropractic.
::My mom was seeing a chiropractor and she said this is really what you kind of talk about all the time.
::And I'm like, wow, so I, you know, this was like when you had the little dial up.
::So here I am searching all the schools on the Internet to different schools or learning about.
::What chiropracty is. I spoke to Mom's chiropractor, I started, you know, going for treatments myself.
::And I was like, yeah, I'm all in on chiropractic.
::So I end up going to school to be a chiropractor and in chiropractic, you know, I learned that chiropractic can help 75% of 75% of people because originally I was like if you were, you know, a spine and your breathing.
::And I wanted to adjust you and I realized like, wow, I can't really help everybody and naively at the time, I wanted to help everybody and so.
::I started studying every chiropractic technique I could and so over time over the last like year or two years in in, in the program I studied probably at least 10 chiropractic techniques, studied acupuncture.
::And become certified and all those things and.
::I still was kind of a kid that asked a lot of why questions.
::Ever since, you know, I was little too even today and, you know to detriment of some friendships that, you know, because I wanna know why someone does something or does and why the body does what it does.
::And so eventually when I graduate from Chiroprac School, there's a guy doing something.
::And had to come home for.
::I just had to come home for Christmas and I had to write boards for the state is going to Kentucky to practice, so to wait for the state board there.
::And they weren't until, like March, so went home for a few months while my stuff was in storage to move.
::And this guy was doing something different in my hometown and I wanted to learn what he was doing because my mom was seeing him and he really wasn't explaining.
::It but he was helping with all sorts of problems.
::And so I went to talk to him and he ended up actually being my cousins husband.
::And so we kind of hit it off.
::And I was like, wow, this is an interesting technique too.
::And it deals more.
::It was from a chiropractic technique.
::But you didn't have to be a chiropractor to do it.
::Because these guys weren't, and I was like, wow, they were helping with all sorts of problems.
::And so I was.
::Like, well, I want to learn this, so I put off my chiropractic.
::And I studied that and eventually I just decided that that's what I was going to do.
::And so I started this brick and mortar business that it was, you know, really what it is more.
::Based on energy so.
::It's really treating the body.
::As a whole and.
::And so I started to practice that.
::But then.
::I heard started to see.
::People still slipping through.
::So when I was involved in chiropracty, you know, you know, some people would have to keep going coming back.
::So if I was really get to the root.
::Of the problem then they.
::Would have to come back, so it's like, well, what's going on?
::Why are these people
::Why do they keep
::Coming back.
::Or why have to go 100 times to feel better and so
::What I started practicing.
::Was getting people better quicker, so I was on to something.
::I realize that, but as I started to practice this, I realized there was still something missing.
::People were I would still like see some people never see them again.
::They might come back with another.
::Issue but I was.
::Having still people coming back and I was treating also, I had people with cancer to toe pain and everything in between and so people are starting to get better.
::But there's some that weren't, and I was like, why
::Are these people aren't?
::And you know when you're in practice, you.
::Start to become more social.
::They come to be either they come to me and they talk about, you know, their life issues and.
::Story i always tell is how to client who is the perfect example.
::He hated his job like he knew to the day when he was going to retire.
::And I'm not saying, oh, we've got like three more months.
::This guy had, like, you know, like 405 more days of work and three hours. So like, he knew to the minute.
::Of you know.
::That's how much he hated his job.
::And he had referred a lot of people because he did so well with his back pain.
::He came with back pain and he referred a lot of people.
::And he's like Kris like.
::You know, he's naming people.
::He's like they never come back.
::Like, how come I'm still coming back because he was still having to come back every, you know, six weeks or so.
::And I was like, he's.
::Like when am I not going to come back?
::And I realize, like, well when you retire.
::Because his stress was is constant thing and that's my biggest kicker, I realized like stress was the biggest component in our in our on our overall well-being and it wasn't just stress now but it's stress from our sometimes our childhood and we'll get I'll get into that too if you like but and So what I noticed was.
::He retired after those, you know, 400 days or whatever, and then he stopped having to come in. I seen him one time I think he hurt his back in 18 months or something
::But it was interesting.
::He'd come in with his wife and him and his wife would bicker.
::They'd bicker in the waiting room.
::She would come in and talk about him and he would come in and talk about her.
::So I don't know why they're married.
::But you know what was interesting to know when I realized, like the stress pattern was when she retired all of a.
::Sudden he started having coming again.
::Why cause of stress now one of his other stresses is at home 24/7 and.
::And this, mind you, was way before like this was in the early 2000s. So this is way before people really talking about stress really affecting us.
::And so, you know, and I already started to dabble in understanding, like, you know, because I had a person coming with back pain and you.
::Know and through.
::Just working through some of that back pain was.
::Related to a past trauma.
::She was abused by her uncle and she always wanted to reach out to her uncle and have a conversation about him because she would see him every year at a family reunion and.
::And she came in and I didn't really talk about that.
::I didn't.
::She had just mentioned in passing.
::And because sometimes things come up when you start to work on energy and things moved and she.
::Shared share that.
::Stuff and eventually her back pain went away.
::And not very long time, but was interesting.
::She finally had that conversation with her uncle, something she always wanted to do.
::And that's when I realized.
::How you know this was early on.
::I'm like, wow, this is really what I wanted to hit on.
::So I really started to delve into that aspect.
::So not just the physical aspect or what we put in our bodies, but the our.
::Emotional well-being, all those are import.
::And you know, I was helping a lot of people with motions and different things and some people were like, Kris, how do you help yourself?
::And I really.
::Didn't know at the time I had more than one office and I was commuting like, you know, three times a week for, you know, four to five hours, six hours in the car at a time.
::And I got a lot of.
::Thinking done and I've taken a lot of workshops, I've done a lot of work on myself, but I was wondering like, how could I work on myself?
::And that's really what I practiced today.
::So I still have some people I see in my brick and mortar, but I really focus into moving on to helping more people.
::So I moved my whole business at home so people want to come have to come to my house because my focus is moving.
::And teaching people to help themselves, you know, most people come to me and they're like, Kris, I'm broken.
::Help me.
::And my goal is to I want people to come to see Kris.
::I'm broken.
::Can I help myself?
::And that's really what I focus on now and that's really what the whole relaxing your nervous system.
::So in the process.
::Was I was my own Guinea pig and I'm Canadian.
::So I play hockey.
::I still play hockey in in my late 40s and it's great exercise, but what's important is that I played, you know, as a kid and different levels and.
::Like there's a lot of pressure that came when playing hockey and a lot of trauma that I experienced and it's people.
::When I talk about trauma, they think like it has to be like a capital T trauma, like something severe happened.
::But it's just like you know.
::Silly stuff that happens or you know the pressure I put on myself to look good or to be the best, or to be that go to guy that I felt in my.
::Mind that I was.
::And so I put this all this pressure on myself.
::And so if I were to just play with a bunch of friends, I was a good hockey player.
::But as soon as I put on skates and there's whistle and a ref and there's a score.
::That was a totally different player.
::I would like trip over the blue line and fall.
::And you know I'd missed the net by 10 feet and it was just like two different kind of players.
::And I was like, what's going on?
::And I started to realize.
::I was had this anxiety before hockey to the point where, like I was so anxious going to the game, I would pee like.
::2-3 times before the game.
::And so then I started this process and of really starting to relax your nervous system.
::I really started to do it.
::I had to actually break this process down, but really.
::What it is just.
::Becoming more aware, I had to.
::Realize I was feeling this way because most people are just anxious and just pee and don't recognize it.
::So it's really just starting to be aware and that's what I.
::Start to start teaching.
::People is like first, you got to take a pause.
::Like we have to pause.
::So then you could start to be aware of what's going on in your head.
::So once you realize what's going on in your head, then you could do something about it.
::Is not only do you think it, you actually feel that in your body?
::So when I was anxious, I was feeling that in.
::My body when you're.
::You feel that in your body?
::And what does that feel like?
::Well, it could feel heavy.
::You could feel dense.
::You could feel.
::Like you can close off your body tightens.
::There's a lot of like reaction because there's a your nervous system.
::Fires and you know that's a longer.
::Story, but it's really just a way to process and relax your nervous system.
::So I teach a process a breath through breath work and some mental pee to help people and teach people start to relax their nervous system.
::So then when they are triggered, they are challenged.
::It's a process.
::So they can just start to calm their nervous system so they can work through whatever may be.
::Going on and if they want.
::They can now use that tool to help.
::Work through that so.
::So it's like hide and seek.
::Once your body becomes aware of, once you become you connect the dots.
::You can actually start to let it go and that's really the process in which I teach people to start to, to hear and just to listen.
::And that's the awareness, the pause, and then it's the breath work to let it go.
::And there's a process that I teach through that.
::That's really, really great.
::I think that we all probably experienced this, you know, I I'm listening to you and I'm not already connecting dots in in certain situations that have happened in my life and the awareness is such a huge is what's really jumping out for me personally.
::Because when you're aware of something and nowadays and.
::Culture and the way society is right now when you're feeling a certain pain.
::You're just led to the assumption that it's a physical problem, so you have to go to the doctor and the doctor's probably gonna either give you physical therapy or give you some kind of pain medication or something to regulate that.
::That's basically gonna mask.
::What's the and mask the root cause?
::OK, maybe you.
::Pull the muscle because.
::You know, I'm a soccer player, so I was thinking of the of the analogy there.
::Like, you know, I went to make a save.
::I'm a goalkeeper.
::I went to make a save and I pulled a muscle that that's obviously a physical thing.
::I don't think that you know that pain is I'm harboring something from when I'm a child, but having the awareness that.
::It could be something else and it could be deeper.
::If something is a little more chronic right?
::So like I hurt my back one time and it just was not going away.
::I'm thinking in hindsight when I stopped my job and it spurred my moment when you said about the gentleman who retired because.
::I was so unhappy in this job.
::I was so, so unhappy in this job.
::And then I hurt my back and it just nothing worked.
::And I did.
::I went from chiropractor to chiropractor and they were treating me physically and obviously take this take that, you know, do this do that but it just never wasn't.
::It was not going away.
::And now that I'm thinking about it.
::When the injury.
::Itself was so bad that I had.
::To stop work.
::It's just magic.
::Not magically, but like I'm saying magically cause that's what it felt like to me.
::Right.
::It's the treatment that I was doing started to work.
::I that's fascinating and the connection between the physical and you know any kind of past traumas and like you said, doesn't have to be something as serious like, you know that Lady.
::Doesn't have to be as serious as that kind of trauma, but anything that could affect our stresses.
::Right.
::My parents used to tease me that they found me under damp rock.
::And you know my.
::Sister took it like.
::The joke that it they made it to be, but I took it like a sensitive little 5 year old that I was and you know, and that led to this feeling of fear, of rejection.
::And so that played a big role in my life, not just.
::Definitely dating, but you know, even in work, like if people were to unsubscribe from my e-mail list, I would feel hurt.
::You know, if people were like in business, you know, I was afraid to call people.
::To rebook them and a lot of times they don't come back because they're feeling better, but in my mind I must not have done something right.
::There's this fear rejection and it was across the board, and it wasn't until you know my marriage ending that I realized, like, that was the biggest rejection.
::And that was like the sign that went off for me.
::So a.
::Lot of times.
::You know, I use.
::What's going on in people's lives? So a divorce or separation or an unhappy marriage or a career change or all these things that happen and even as much as you say a soccer injury, you know, car accident or something is an event that.
::You know could have been triggered by something in a in a way that you're.
::Not listening so.
::The universe or the, you know, God or however you look at it, decides to say you need to start paying attention, and so you know.
::It's easy to say, well, you know it's the injury from that.
::A lot of times it's like, well, what's this trying to tell me?
::You know, the way I look at it.
::We all talk about being present and you know we want to be in the present moment.
::But if you really think about it, if you break down that word, what are you saying here?
::We're saying present.
::The message is actually present from our mind, so whatever is happening in our reality is a present from what's going on in your head.
::So if you feel not good enough or unworthy, that's what's going to show up in your.
::You know, COVID was an opportunity where we could experience fear.
::So if you were fearful, well, you saw COVID as extremely fearful.
::That's just showing up in your reality because there's a lot of people that were like 5 masks and, you know, have 12 boosters.
::But and there's people that didn't get any and didn't wear a mask and never got COVID.
::So it's like, well, what's the difference?
::You know, that was an opportunity to work on our fear.
::So I look at it like.
::What's showing up in my life is something for me to learn from, and so.
::A simple thing like an injury I had so I hurt my elbow.
::And it was really aggravated.
::It got worse with hockey and I play hockey ball hockey and hockey several times a week and I was just like well must be hockey.
::But the more I sort of realizing it.
::The more I was driving because at the time I was, I was deviating from my business and the more I was kind of going a different way.
::It was kind of like the universe saying, oh, OK, you got to get back on track.
::That's not the way you got to go.
::And so instead of and.
::So what I'm saying is like maybe it's a message, so it might have been an injury from.
::But it's just a message for me to listen.
::And so that's what I and my intuition is funny because.
::Then I got back on track.
::And the elbow point went away.
::And so I'm like, let's try to see if I'm going to deviate a little bit.
::I'm start thinking about going in this direction.
::Sure enough, my elbow.
::Started to hurt again, so it was just like a key.
::Like, OK, this is just my body speaking to me.
::Well, then, you know, chalk it up to a car accident that I was in or, you know, an injury that I sustained and I'm not trying to just say anything that's not physical.
::I just.
::I get people to invite them to listen to their body, ask their body, you know, just like we talk about maybe what kind of foods that our body listen to.
::You know, kids are great if you have any children.
::You know, because like you know.
::My daughter loves bananas, so she would eat bananas and all of a sudden she's always having a banana and the one day she's like, I don't like bananas.
::Like what?
::Where does this come from?
::I've never like bananas, dad.
::Like, that's all you eat every day for like, you know, two years is bananas.
::Oh, I've never liked bananas.
::It's just like they know what they need.
::So I'm like, OK, we won't give her bananas.
::You know, so it's like our body often tells us things, and it's just like taking the time to listen, like, ask be getting get curious.
::And I think a lot of and I do I think a lot of people these days.
::One minute.
::Think like listen to my body that sounds so.
::Out there, right.
::It sounds so that makes me sound crazy or, you know, and things like that.
::But it really does make sense.
::It really does make sense, and I've always said that like whenever I did have an injury and I and I and I did.
::Have continued playing, you know, just cause you talk about hockey.
::You know I continue to play soccer until just about like this past season in my body, you know in my 40s is just not the same anymore.
::And you know, I just, I had to come to that acceptance that like, OK, it's time I bought I had.
::And I said that I have to listen to my body as much as I want to as much as I want to.
::This is not a good thing for my body anymore and I have to make the, you know, a healthy decision for that.
::And you tend, I think people tend to hold back a little bit, say like.
::I need to listen to my body.
::Because that.
::Sounds a little crazy at first, you know, but when you think about the connection.
::It's kind of a no brainer.
::Totally right.
::And it's not like.
::And it's not like your body talks to.
::You it's just kind of like being.
::You know and really I mean I.
::Don't get too.
::Yeah, but I mean your maybe your body will talk to you, it's going to tell you what it wants.
::You know, if you give it a chance, but we're too busy with, you know, video games and television and distractions and that's, you know, keeping your mind off of really listening so.
::You know, the more we kind.
::Resent in ourselves and start to listen and quiet, quieting our minds and just seeing what comes up.
::Who knows what comes up, you know?
::Right.
::And that's the way it's going to right it.
::It's not going to have.
::A conversation with.
::You it's going to come out in an elbow.
::It's going to come out in a back ache or it's going to come out, you know, maybe in an emotional sense, right where you're feeling anxious and stress, maybe depressed and things like that.
::That's obvious.
::That's showing that there's an imbalance.
::You know, and I and I find it very.
::I just.
::I love this kind of topic because.
::Our society is just again, like I mentioned before, so quick to.
::Jump the other.
::Way and kind of be like, oh, you're feeling this.
::We have something.
::For that not to say that you know modern medicine is like we should completely ignore it, obviously, but.
::It's very comforting to know nowadays that there are more natural and holistic ways that you don't have to jump to, you know those things and maybe you do need it for certain things, of course.
::But there are also things that you can work on.
::And we also have to admit that, like you know, I'm not equipped to do that.
::I don't know how to balance myself.
::I don't know how.
::To so having someone.
::Like you would be wonderful to kind of teach me to step back and take that.
::Breath like you said.
::Right.
::Yeah, absolutely.
::And I agree, I mean.
::You know, modern medicine is there for a reason as well, and it's just like.
::You know, sometimes.
::And we don't listen to the message.
::The body is not going to stop trying to tell you, right.
::So that back pain maybe come into back pain and hip pain and you're gonna get surgery in your back and maybe a new hip.
::Then it's going to be your knee or your other knee, or another hip, or the body.
::Want is trying to tell us to wake or shows up as cancer or something else.
::And, you know, people say, Oh well.
::Well, that's cancer because I've been smoking for 30 years.
::Yes, the smoking didn't help.
::But you know.
::What else is there for you to listen to?
::What have you been?
::You know, stuffing down what, aren't you?
::You know, being honest with yourself about what?
::Aren't you listening to within yourself to, you know, cause I went through my own health issue, you know, I had, you know.
::A kidney transplant?
::I had a, I guess this not an autoimmune disease.
::You know, I don't want to go down too big a rebel, but I needed.
::A kidney. Because mine was functioning less than 5%. It came out of nowhere for me, so it didn't have any symptoms because it's, it's called IGF, IGF, nephritis.
::And it's just slow going.
::It's just it's like your body attacks itself slowly over time.
::So a lot of the symptoms just seem.
::Like normal because they it's not like you go from having like.
::Problem to like.
::You know, maybe you have lost weight for no reason, or you gain weight for no reason, or you just like all of a sudden you collapsed.
::This is over time.
::It could have been.
::It could have for 20 years.
::And so it's just so a lot of the symptoms have happened over time that just seemed normal, you know, to have foam in your urine and, you know, some itchiness.
::And, you know, I gained some weight.
::But I'd gotten married at the time, and I quit playing a lot of my sports that I was playing.
::And so there was a reason why it was some of them, and it chalked it up and.
::And so that for me there was a challenge just to work through what I needed to learn in that.
::And listening to my body.
::And there's still things I need to learn from that experience.
::You know that I.
::You know, continue to work on myself because, you know, showing not showing up for me for a reason and you know that was a big moment in my life to, you know, challenge my confidence as a, you know, as a, quote unquote healer or, you know, body worker or, you know, as a chiropractor, whatever you want to call me and you know.
::But it was, you know, and I lost clients from that I think because like, well, if he's so good, why did he break down, you know?
::And there's a lot of challenge for me and a lot of shame that I had to work through and.
::And yeah, it was it.
::You know, and it continues to be a bit of a journey for me, but you know, so I know you know and I had modern medicine, you know, I went through the process and got a transplant.
::And I'm grateful for that.
::You know, my ex ended up being my, you know, she was my wife at the time.
::But now an ex
::And she donated her kidney.
::And I'm grateful for all that.
::You know, but instead of just being a victim to those things and a lot of times we are and we use our victim mentality and it's just.
::I always suggest like look whatever happens, my life is either 0% my responsibility or 100%. You can't have like well 50%.
::Like it's 50% the environment 50%, you know this or that. It's like this happened to me. So I'm the only common denominator. So you.
::Know I can't.
::You know people that will be on their third marriage and it's like blaming the woman. Like, how could it always be the woman's faults? I mean, you're the common denominator in each of those marriages.
::Like at some point you have to be, you know, the responsible.
::You know, in my marriage there was an affair.
::And I still don't sit there and, you know, put.
::I'm not putting that on her.
::You know, I she's her own agency.
::She did what she did, but I contributed how I contributed, how I showed up.
::You know, maybe she felt the need to find somebody else or whatever was going on.
::I look at it from, like, OK, well, instead of me just blaming her and, you know, to come and label as toxic.
::Or narcissist.
::It's easy just to put that on to somebody else and it's just like.
::I'm 100% responsible for my life. Whatever happens in my life and so just this experience, I'm like, OK, well, what can I, you know, it happened nothing.
::I can't change that it happened, but what can I do different?
::What can I learn from this?
::What can how can I grow?
::From this.
::Experience and you know it was a big gift.
::Like, just like the near death experience.
::And just like this.
::You know, just like.
::The various different challenges I've had, and you know this, these.
::Are just a few of many.
::But you know, I.
::Look at them all as like what can I learn or what can I gain from that?
::And I think that's the huge positive that I'm getting out of this.
::And I think that.
::You know, nowadays people.
::Are very protective of their own self and they want to put the blame on other things instead of justice.
::Take, but then when they're doing that right, they're that means that they're holding.
::It's easier.
::Yeah, so much easier.
::It's so much easier to do that.
::But yet they're holding on to all of that.
::That's not sustainable.
::100%.
::That's not healthy.
::And you know, obviously I've had.
::I had a similar experience.
::And you know, and I learned a lot from.
::That as well.
::You know, over the years with injuries and you know what have you and financial issues and everything it's much easier to say well you know I was in that financial spot because.
::Their terms were, you know, unreasonable or they it's so easy to put, but it's if you just accept that and you're not in denial, you're not holding on to that because that can be considered trauma too, correct?
::Right.
::Absolutely, absolutely.
::And you're holding on to that energy like, you know, similar financial situation, you know that led to a bankruptcy and you know.
::And I could sit there and blame my partner at the time, business partner, because of, you know, some of the business moves he made and but my name was on it and it's easy to say, well, you made all these bad this business decisions like.
::Like it's easy to put it on him, but I'm like, well, I still sign my name.
::So what?
::What can I gain and learn from that?
::Again, it's, it's easy just to say, hey, you know it's all on him and you know, we're still friends.
::I mean, most people say you still like that guy.
::I'm like, yeah, absolutely, man.
::He's still one of my closest friends.
::You know, we, you know.
::I grew from it, you know, and.
::You know, and overall I mean it was a gift.
::Another gift for me.
::And I think that then when you take it that step further in what you're doing in the connection of the physical is imagine all of that, right.
::So we just mentioned a few examples that we were just kind of discussing.
::So imagine that on a daily basis year after year, experience after experience, trauma after trauma, how much an individual could be holding on to what they're holding on to.
::That's gonna affect your neck.
::That's gonna affect your shoulders.
::That's gonna affect the muscles in your body.
::Maybe your health.
::Maybe get sick all the time.
::You know, maybe you're suffering from colds and flus.
::And you.
::Get sick.
::Much easier than others, you know.
::So when you start thinking about it.
::On that level of.
::All of these things that we could be holding on to.
::From A-Z right.
::Right.
::And you don't even know like?
::Right.
::You don't even remember.
::me and I even realized.
::Right.
::Like my parents tease me if they found me are damp rock.
::I didn't remember that.
::And still I started to do some work on myself, you know.
::And you don't have to remember, you know, my clients don't have to remember some trauma that they went through.
::If it's real specific and it's not therapy, it's not something that you have.
::To go through and relive and that's part of some of the issues I feel with dog therapy is like, it's like you're reliving the story again and again every time you go there.
::And that's not what we, you know, I teach your body remembers the trauma.
::That's all we need, you know, so you may not remember all the specifics, but your body is holding on to your body, remembers maybe you're too young.
::Or maybe something you know, like I didn't know this, but you know.
::But the, you know, the.
::Being teased as my by my parents.
::But you know the more I worked on it, the more you know.
::I started to recognize, you know, OK.
::This is what happened and that was traumatic.
::And I remember like, the biggest rejection even had happened in my marriage several times.
::I remember, I remember.
::Maybe it happened more than once, but I remember this specific time because it was so adamant because we go back in that child mode.
::I remember being rejected.
::I initiated sex with my wife at the time and.
::She said no and she was pregnant and I can get into the reasons why she didn't want to and she, her options.
::She's her own agent, she said no.
::But I took it like that five year old that.
::Was rejected and I remember turning over and pouting, just like I did when I was five years old.
::And it's just like that's so much what happens to us today is like when we're triggered by something we turn into that little child that that wounded little child.
::So your body remembers, you know, and this is all in hindsight.
::Me once I started the process and start to work through that and I started to see that in my marriage and to my, you know, adulthood, into my business of all these different options.
::And I was had this big fear of rejection.
::And how was holding me back in so many areas of my life I wouldn't be on this call.
::I'd be too afraid of being rejected by you or the audience, or, you know, I wouldn't have been on these podcasts, you know?
::So that's, you know, night and day.
::And it's not like it goes in a flash when you actually get the process, when it's hiding like I talk about hide and seek.
::It's really just like there and then it's gone because you just.
::It's like your body knows and it's wants to let it go.
::But you have to just have to connect the dots.
::You have to find that and that's really just getting present in your body and that's the process of flying your mind.
::What I love?
::Most about this is obviously the physical nature of it, because it just makes sense.
::You know, I, you know, over the past like, year, year and a half or so like I you know I have been taking my daughter specifically to a car.
::Doctor Who was treating her in this manner because she's getting migraines and we just can't figure it out.
::And we've had every test imaginable, right?
::We checked there first, right?
::Let's make sure there's not any imbalances.
::You know, I'm anemic.
::So like I said, well, maybe that kind of, you know, but find out that that that's not something.
::And then you can kind of pass down so fine, but we you know we trying to dot our eyes you know.
::Our eyes cross our ties, you know.
::And we started.
::Looking at the physical body and then the neurological part and seeing an actual mapping of the body and how all of the neurological tracts like affect every inch of your body.
::So let me start like really understanding that.
::So I was really excited to get on the phone with you.
::You know our chat today because you know I've experienced that we're still working on it.
::You know, and it's getting better progressively.
::But what I love about this is kind of the ripple effect from this process that that you're that you're doing with people because once you have that acknowledgement and that recognition.
::I feel like it could.
::Ripple down to other parts of your life, so if you're struggling with one part of your life, you're going to be more aware.
::And it's going to be positive for all aspects of your life, whether it be your relationships or your relation.
::You know, maybe you're just in a better mood now.
::So now you're producing better at your job and.
::You're a happier person.
::And then.
::You know, towards the parents, you know, on your kids sports team and their coaches.
::Like I feel like when you're in this state like, you feel like everything around you and your life is like out to get you in a way.
::Right.
::Oh, I'll see.
::So I feel like if you have this connection and you go through what you're teaching, it's gonna affect and ripple in all aspects of your life.
::Right.
::Just like absolutely cause even for my own personal again, you know we have this conditioning, you know, it's.
::Children like maybe from your child or your parents, how you were raised and you know like.
::I spilled some.
::My daughter would spill water and it was like, biggest deal.
::Everyone freaks out and I just remember, like, you know, that was, you know, my wife would scream at my daughter for spilling water.
::I would get upset because that's just what?
::We always did.
::And I started to realize like, Oh my God, this is ridiculous.
::It's water.
::And it's something so simple as like I just shifted that anger, I realized, like, I was having this anger, and I did the process that I teach is just recognizing, like, oh, my.
::God, I'm just getting angry for something so ridiculous.
::It's water and I remember my parents coming and they're like, and she my daughter spilled water.
::She's like, are you going to take that away from her?
::I said absolutely.
::Not like I said, it's just water, but I remember, like, that's just my program, my parents programming.
::I'm not judging my parents this this is what happened and I decided to change it.
::It's just like I could see if it's happening four or five times a week, obviously.
::It's a problem, but it's, you know, if it happens once.
::In a while, just everyone has an accident.
::Just think, would you yell yourself for spilling water?
::I mean, you mean your own head?
::But it's not like, you know, you might be upset with yourself, but even that's ridiculous.
::You know, even now it's like she'll have to clean it up or I'm like, ohh, just clean up after dinner.
::If it's not that big of a mess, you know it's like totally night and day difference of like.
::Me working.
::Through it and it literally just.
::Through, you know.
::10 minutes to work through that and it was just a night and day difference.
::So like had a client with anxiety tube large groups since she was going to a wedding and she's of Indian descent.
::So if you know anything about Indian weddings, they're like 2-3 hundred people standard, and she was dreading this wedding and we just did some processing around that and.
::She went to the wedding.
::It wasn't a big deal.
::It's not a faculty.
::And make it once it's gone.
::It's just like she went to the wedding like you or I would.
::It would be a big deal and.
::And that's the idea of like that.
::That hide and.
::Seek of just putting thoughts together, because once you realize that, then you can.
::Do something to let it go.
::I love it.
::Absolutely love it and I appreciate you so much coming on today.
::Yeah. Thank you.
::This has been a fascinating conversation and a realization, and I think that it's important for people to be aware of all this.
::And I know that's a big part of what you do now.
::How can people get in touch with you?
::Tell me where they can go.
::You have a website, contact information.
::I'd love to share that.
::With our listeners.
::Thank you.
::Thank you for having me.
::This was awesome.
::People can go to my website.
::It's Belfry Wellness.
::So just my last name BELFRY wellness dot com, and there they can get access to a free book. I so I have 12 ways to relax your nervous system. So there's 12 ways
::Read the book, find you know two or three that really work and resonate with you and practice those.
::And those are some ways of simply to get a hold of me.
::And you can book a free discovery call on my website.
::There too, to see, you know, that would be about you.
::30 minutes and we'll see if we can work together or not.
::We'll make that.
::It's not really no.
::Pressure call for anyone who wants to reach out.
::Outstanding. So anybody wants to get in touch, go to his well website, that's www.belfrywellness.com. I highly suggest you go check.
::It out and download that eBook because, you know, like I said, I really, truly believe that the first step is the awareness and I think it becomes a an emotional and personal.
::Thing when people.
::Need to kind of.
::Acknowledge it themselves that maybe there's an issue, maybe there's something bigger going on here and I love that you have created a space that could find that so.
::Take that further.
::One more thing so you know one would be like a nice bath or a cold shower.
::And so it's just one thing to that's going to relax your nervous system, but then, you know, take that moment and just take a pause and listen
::Connect with your mind, because we don't do that.
::You know, give yourself, you know, 3 minutes in the shower of.
::Of just that silence of just nothing.
::You know, just allow yourself in that cold shower or in that ice bath.
::To just be with yourself and breathe.
::So let's get you do that.
::I think we I think a lot of people do.
::I think most of us probably do.
::But listen, Kris, thank you so much for coming on today for this session.
::It was really great.
::Thank you for your time and everyone you know to get in touch with you.
::I hope they do.
::Because then this has been very informative and great.
::Thank you so much.
::Thank you.
