Moms often start the summer feeling energized, encouraged and ready to go! Then around week 6 or 7, the kids are fighting, they never seem happy and everything sucks. This is your late summer pep talk to help you get out of that funk and get through the rest of summer.
If you're having a great summer, I love that for you. But if you're struggling, if you're burned out, resentful or overwhelmed, if you're feeling like your kids are out of control, then this is your episode.
You’ll Learn:
I’m giving you 3 strategies to help you reset your body, mind and limits. If you’re feeling crappy about how things are going, your kid is pushing boundaries or you’re just plain exhausted, these are for you.
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Believe me when I tell you that you are not the only one feeling this way. We’re in the doldrums of summer, where the initial excitement has worn off but it’s not back-to-school time just yet.
It’s easy to look around and think that other families have it easier, other moms seem happier and other kids are having more fun.
But whatever you’ve done is enough.
Whether your kids are home or at camp, no matter what they’re doing, they’re probably going to look back on their summer as being pretty great. Because they’re not at school.
Summer is magical for children. There’s fun and late nights and ice cream and maybe a vacation. You don’t have to create some unicorn magical experience for your kid in order to create a good feeling for them.
So whatever you've done or whatever you've planned, I want you to sink into the fact that it's enough. Your kids are having a great summer because it's summer. That is enough.
That being said, there’s some summer left to go, and you might need a little boost to help you through it.
This time of the summer can be a great time for a reset. I’m sharing 3 different strategies you can try.
Option #1: Mindset Reset
This reset will help you figure out what you want out of the rest of the summer and make it happen.
I often talk about chasing feelings, and this is exactly that. How do you want the rest of your summer to feel? How do you want to feel while it’s happening?
Personally I have been feeling a bit discouraged, sad and disappointed lately, thinking things like, “This summer was wasted,” and “I didn’t plan well. I didn’t do it right.” So I’m working to shift to a more positive mindset.
For the rest of my summer, I’m chasing connection. I want to feel really close to my kids. I’m practicing thoughts like, “I can make family time happen,” “My kids love hanging out with us,” “My kids want to be part of a family,” and “Connection happens in simple ways.”
From these thoughts, I’ll decide on some actions I want to take to feel that connection. Then, I’ll ask my kids if they’d be interested in or willing to do those things. If not, we’ll brainstorm together and come up with some new ideas.
Choose the feeling you want to chase, come up with some thoughts that will help you feel that way and make a list of actions that will help you get the thing you want for the rest of the summer.
Option #2: Limit Reset
If your kids seem super dysregulated or you’re seeing a lot of sibling squabbles or out-of-bounds behavior, it might be time for a Limit Reset.
A big thing that happens during the summer is that we go outside of our boundaries and get loosey goosey on limits around bedtime, sugar or screens. It’s fun in the summer to let some of the structure go and be a bit more free.
But healthy diets, good sleep habits and limited screen time help our kids’ nervous systems stay regulated (and they behave better). If you feel like things have gotten out of balance, take a beat and reset to your typical family rhythms.
Build the normal rules you have during the school year back into your day. Take a day or a few days to get back into that old routine.
A thought that might help with this (especially if things don’t go quite as planned) is, “I can always get back to our rhythms and limits.”
You can also think of this as a “breathe in” day. We’re out and about a lot in the summer. When there’s a lot going on, it’s a lot of stimulation and can be hard on kids’ nervous systems.
During a “breathe in” day, you just chill and recharge. Do quiet activities, relax at home, bake some cookies or make popsicles. Settle everyone down and let their nervous systems get back to a baseline.
Option #3: Reset Your Body
This one is about managing your own burnout. If your body is crying out for a break, you need to take one. You get to take breaks.
Ideally, you can get at least a couple of hours to rest. Swap childcare with a friend, take an afternoon off from work while your kids are at camp, do what you need to do to get yourself a break.
I also love to take mini breaks. A mini break can be as simple as pouring yourself a glass of iced tea and sitting somewhere comfortable or beautiful. Sit, observe and drink your tea. Even a 5-10 minute break like this can be so powerful.
Let your nervous system settle, connect with your body, breathe slowly and let the racing mind settle down. Slow down, be present and pay attention.
You might be thinking that this isn’t possible for you because your kids are always around. You can teach your kids about your mini breaks and invite them to practice with you. Say something like, “Mommy’s doing her mini break. I’m going to sit here for 5 minutes. You’re welcome to get your own drink and sit near me as long as you’re quiet.”
Some other ideas for mini breaks:
If you have a partner, ask for help with this. If not, reach out to friends, family or a babysitter.
I want for you to finish this summer feeling empowered, confident, content and hopeful. To look back at the end of it and think to yourself, “Good job, Mama. We did it.”
So give yourself a pat on the back for making it this far. Then, take a moment to figure out what you need. Whether it’s more limits and rhythms, mindset and an action plan or a break (or all three), go get it for yourself. Take care of yourself, Mama. You’ve got this!
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Welcome back to become a calm mama. I'm your host. I'm
Speaker:Darlyn Childress. And on today's episode, I wanna give you a little
Speaker:late summer pep talk because I know that the
Speaker:summer, we often start out feeling really encouraged and
Speaker:full, and we have all these weeks ahead of us. And we're
Speaker:imagining, you know, playtime at the pool and
Speaker:late nights having ice cream or s'mores and just
Speaker:really, like, fun memories and time to do projects around the house
Speaker:and play games and all of this stuff. Right?
Speaker:And then we get to like week 6, week 7 and it
Speaker:starts to really weigh on us of just like, oh my god.
Speaker:These kids are so annoying. They keep fighting. They don't ever
Speaker:seem happy. Everything I planned, they're grumpy, and it just sucks,
Speaker:sucks, sucks. So I know that that's normal,
Speaker:and I wanna normalize that for you if you are feeling that way.
Speaker:And I also wanna give you some strategies of how to kinda
Speaker:get out of that late summer funk that is so easy to get
Speaker:into. Now, I was already thinking about doing
Speaker:this episode, and then I ran across this Instagram post from
Speaker:a woman who calls herself the mama attorney, and you can find
Speaker:her at Instagram. And she often writes about how
Speaker:there's a lot of inequity and, you know, family burdens
Speaker:in the legal system and, you know, like, without having paid family
Speaker:leave, and she compares our country to other countries and all that. So I really
Speaker:like her site because she's forward thinking. But this one
Speaker:post that she posted made me laugh because it was
Speaker:essentially the messaging that moms and parents get
Speaker:in the summer. And it was a couple of different slides. So I'm gonna read
Speaker:a couple of them to you because I think they're really interesting funny. So the
Speaker:first slide says summer for parents society. This is
Speaker:this message of society. Says your children are always home
Speaker:and must have good memories of summer, and you only get 18
Speaker:summers with them. And if you cannot provide good memories of watermelon and
Speaker:pool games and exotic places, then they will have sad memories
Speaker:and that's all your fault. So that's the first
Speaker:message we get. Then we get a second message from capitalism, from our
Speaker:economic system that says, we don't take a break here. You can't
Speaker:skip a beat or you will lose everything and get fired. And if you take
Speaker:paid time off, you may still be fired. But if you're on vacation, make sure
Speaker:to check email because no one else is taking time off. So if you can't
Speaker:keep up, it's all your fault and you will be fired. So on one hand,
Speaker:we get this message of like you're supposed to be relaxed and enjoy your children
Speaker:and take them on trips. And then if you're working, you get this message of
Speaker:like, yeah, but not really because you need to be present in your job.
Speaker:Then, of course, you have your children who are actual human
Speaker:beings that you're parenting in the summer. And the message from them
Speaker:says, kids, I'm hungry. I'm bored. What are we doing today? Can I have a
Speaker:snack? I can't swim, so you can hold me while I splash water in your
Speaker:eyes and kick your throat. I'm mad. I'm sad. Ice cream. I'm bored. I'm hungry
Speaker:and it's all your fault. So here we are trying to
Speaker:make great memories while maybe working, while also
Speaker:giving our children all these wonderful memories, and our children are just relentlessly
Speaker:needing to be parented still and have all their big feelings. So you think, okay,
Speaker:I'll send them to summer camp. And then here's the message of summer camp.
Speaker:It's $3,000 a week, even though we only hire teenagers and we're only open 3
Speaker:days a week for 2 hours per day and only 1 week for summer. So
Speaker:you'll need 8 different versions. And, also, if you do not sign up by September
Speaker:of last year, you lost your spot, and that's all your fault. So you
Speaker:can see the theme here. Right? Then you have your body, your actual
Speaker:human body as a human of the person, as a woman.
Speaker:And your body is saying, I'm exhausted and it's hot and I just wanna
Speaker:lay down and relax. This pace is unsustainable and I need a
Speaker:break. Some are supposed to be for rest and joy and beach reads, and you're
Speaker:not doing any of that. So I'm gonna start breaking down and it's all your
Speaker:fault. Yeah. So
Speaker:maybe you're feeling this way. I noticed this
Speaker:one commenter in the, you know, on
Speaker:this Instagram thing. She says summer is beyond stressful.
Speaker:Camps are so expensive. And then before and after care is another
Speaker:story because, of course, of course, Sam summer camps can't
Speaker:start at normal times and end at normal times like school, and
Speaker:kids can't even go to the same camp. She says the end of day exhaustion
Speaker:and chaos is all I get except for the precious precious weekends when we try
Speaker:to cram 5 days of work of cleaning, laundry, next week camp preps, grocery shopping,
Speaker:summer memories all in the weekend. She said, I hate it so
Speaker:so much. Then she says, and summers were as a kid were
Speaker:magical to me, and it's sad. So maybe you're
Speaker:feeling this right now. You're feeling like, man, I haven't done a good
Speaker:job this summer. I'm like totally not doing it right. Other moms
Speaker:seem to be happier. Other families have it easier. Other
Speaker:kids are enjoying themselves more. I just wanna normalize. I
Speaker:mean, this post had like, you know, up hundreds of comments.
Speaker:You are not alone if you are finding the end of summer
Speaker:that like it's not quite the end. Right? Because we're not quite into back to
Speaker:school prep and all of that. It's just like these doldrums, this sort
Speaker:of late summer. Yeah?
Speaker:So you're not the only one feeling that way. If you're having a great summer,
Speaker:I love that for you. Like, just just stop listening to this episode. Save
Speaker:it for next year. You don't have to listen anymore. But if you're struggling, if
Speaker:you're burned out, if you're feeling like your kids are out of control,
Speaker:you're resentful, you're overwhelmed, then this is your episode.
Speaker:So the first part of this pep talk that I
Speaker:wanna give to you is whatever you've done,
Speaker:it's enough. I really want you to
Speaker:think about that. That like, this
Speaker:poster this woman who posted on the on the Instagram,
Speaker:on the Instagram post, the commentator, she said,
Speaker:summers as a kid were magical to me. It's sad.
Speaker:So she has this thought that her kids are having a
Speaker:bad summer, that they're not having a magical summer because they
Speaker:go to camp and because the weekends are sort of busy with life.
Speaker:And that just is a misconception of how children experience
Speaker:things. Most kids are going to
Speaker:reflect back on their summer as being pretty great. And the
Speaker:reason is because it's not school. They
Speaker:like having a break from school.
Speaker:The even if they go to camp, it's totally different from school. There's
Speaker:no desks. Right? If there's desks, it means there's artwork or there's something
Speaker:fun or they're learning something or they're sitting down and exploring like lizards or
Speaker:whatever. It's interesting. It's fun. There's late nights
Speaker:and there's ice cream and there's, you know, maybe a little
Speaker:vacation here and there. Summer is magical for
Speaker:children. So whatever you've done or whatever you've
Speaker:planned, I want you just to sink into the fact that
Speaker:it's enough. Your kids are having a
Speaker:great summer because it's summer.
Speaker:That is enough. Are they fighting with their
Speaker:siblings? Yes. Are they hot? Yes. Are they bored? Yes. Are they asking for screen
Speaker:time relentlessly? Yes. Are they asking for sugar? Yes. Are they not going to
Speaker:bed? Yes. That's because the sun goes down so late. Their
Speaker:biorhythm is off. So your kids look like
Speaker:maybe they're not having a great time, but they are
Speaker:because it's just a different experience. And you
Speaker:put all the summers together, and they reflect back on their childhood and they're
Speaker:like, that was fun. I had a fun childhood. So
Speaker:I want you to feel you can relax and not
Speaker:compare your summer to other people. I know I have
Speaker:spent time doing that this summer. I've talked about how I had a
Speaker:foot surgery that was planned. I wanted to do it in the summer because I
Speaker:thought, oh, the kids are home. They'll help me. And what ended up happening
Speaker:is that I didn't really need that much help. That the recovery wasn't as difficult
Speaker:as I thought it was. But I hadn't planned really any vacations or
Speaker:anything because I was having this surgery. And
Speaker:I now sort of regret that and I think, oh, my kids had a good
Speaker:summer and, like, you know, I can get into my own head about it. But
Speaker:when I stop and I look at my actual children, and
Speaker:I look at their summer, I'm like, oh, yeah. They're having a good time. They're
Speaker:with their friends. They've had some projects. They've taken some summer classes.
Speaker:Like, they're in it. They're good. You know, they've had a good summer. They don't
Speaker:need some unicorn magical experience that I
Speaker:provide in order to create a good feeling for them.
Speaker:That's not my job. My job is not to make my
Speaker:children's childhood magical. Okay?
Speaker:Now, or is it yours? Now, I'm doing a little pep
Speaker:talk for myself because I have, I think, I don't know, like, a
Speaker:month left with the boys home. And I because, you know, they're both in
Speaker:college, so they're leaving me. Or they're leaving their
Speaker:home. And they're going off into their big lives and their kid big college
Speaker:worlds. And so I'm looking at the next few weeks, and I'm doing
Speaker:this reset myself. I'm doing this little pet
Speaker:talk for myself and I'm starting to think
Speaker:about is there's anything I need to reset.
Speaker:So I'm gonna give you some strategies on how to reset.
Speaker:Now, the reset is really just for yourself.
Speaker:If you are feeling like your kids are out
Speaker:of bounds, they're they're super dysregulated, you have tons of summer
Speaker:squabbles, You you know, it's it's just doesn't feel right to
Speaker:you, then you might wanna do one of these resets that I'm gonna
Speaker:offer to you. I'm gonna offer to you 3 different strategies,
Speaker:3 different resets and give you some resources for each one.
Speaker:Now, for me, I am looking at the next couple of weeks and
Speaker:I want to do, like, a mindset
Speaker:reset. So that's option number 1.
Speaker:So I wanna look at the next couple of weeks and I wanna decide how
Speaker:do I want to feel, how do I want to
Speaker:think, And based on those feelings and those thoughts, what
Speaker:actions do I want to take? So
Speaker:that is how I teach mindset. I talk about chasing feelings.
Speaker:And what I'm referring to here, I do teach it a few different times
Speaker:on the podcast, but this one about summer is in episode
Speaker:19. So if you wanna go back and re listen to how to you do
Speaker:mindset, go back to episode 19. You can also get the summer toolkit,
Speaker:which is on my website calmmamacoaching.com, where I teach you
Speaker:how to do a mindset shift. So
Speaker:I am been in a little bit of, like, a mindset shift of, like, this
Speaker:summer was wasted. I didn't do it right. I didn't plan
Speaker:well. You know, I'm feeling a little bit of disappointment. I'm feeling
Speaker:a little discouraged. I'm feeling a little sad. So I'm
Speaker:in this negative mindset right now and I
Speaker:wanna shift out of it. I wanna shift into a more positive
Speaker:mindset. So how I do that is I decide how
Speaker:do I want to feel. I pick a few feelings
Speaker:that I'm going to chase. So I've actually done this
Speaker:right for the summer, and I've decided that for the rest of the summer, I'm
Speaker:gonna chase connection. I feel really
Speaker:close to my kids, but as a family, I don't feel like we've done
Speaker:too much connecting. And so well, I don't even need to judge it. I just
Speaker:want more. I don't need to judge whether I've had done enough or whatever.
Speaker:I just chasing it. I just want more of it. And I'm thinking
Speaker:about this one day a couple weeks ago when it was my
Speaker:husband's birthday, and we went out for dinner, the 4 of us.
Speaker:And that was really fun. We hadn't really done much together, the 4 of us.
Speaker:And then afterwards, we're all hanging out on our phones and everyone was just sitting
Speaker:around the living room. And I know that none of us really wanna just be
Speaker:on our phones when we're together. And so I said, hey. Do you guys wanna
Speaker:play blackjack or cards or something? And then everyone said yes. And we sat
Speaker:around and we took turns being dealer, and we played a couple rounds of blackjack.
Speaker:We even got the chips out and bet and stuff like that. And it was
Speaker:super fun, very connecting, very warm. And I was like, oh,
Speaker:this is the thing. I want this. I want more of this. Felt
Speaker:so great. So I pick a feeling
Speaker:connection, and then I'm I get some thoughts
Speaker:that give me the ability to create more of that
Speaker:emotion. So some of my thoughts that I wrote down is,
Speaker:I can make family time happen. Like it's really easy
Speaker:for me to think that I can't and I bring up a bunch of obstacles
Speaker:of why it won't work. The kids don't want to. I don't have time. My
Speaker:foot still hurts. We don't have money for that or, you know,
Speaker:my husband's really busy or whatever it is. I'm really busy. Whatever. And so
Speaker:I can kind of bake obstacles up in my head, but instead, thought
Speaker:work requires that I go past those obstacles you know what? I can make
Speaker:this happen. Then I need to have some positive thoughts.
Speaker:Like, my kids love their family. My kids love hanging out with us.
Speaker:My kids want to be part of a family. My kids miss
Speaker:being part of a family. If that's true or not true, it
Speaker:doesn't really matter. I know that deep down we all crave
Speaker:connection. We all wanna be close to our families. And so I'm just
Speaker:gonna assume that they want it. They may not want it the way that I
Speaker:provide it, but I know that they do. So that's just a thought I'm choosing
Speaker:to think. I'm also choosing to think connection
Speaker:happens. Connection happens in simple ways.
Speaker:It I don't have to make some beautiful big trip in order to,
Speaker:for all of us to con connect. I can find simple
Speaker:little moments of connection. I'm also
Speaker:gonna remind myself time is not running out. I have plenty of time.
Speaker:4 weeks is plenty of time. I wanna really be able
Speaker:to get my head around not thinking that I am in scarcity.
Speaker:I don't wanna be thinking I'm in scarcity of money, time or energy. I
Speaker:wanna be instead be thinking I have plenty. I have plenty of time. I have
Speaker:plenty of energy and I have plenty of money, which, of course, I have plenty
Speaker:of money is true. I have plenty of money, and then
Speaker:I need to figure out what I can afford to do if I wanna do
Speaker:something. Like, we all go to do golf and stuff or whatever. Do I have
Speaker:money for that? I have to look and decide. And if I don't, then I
Speaker:can come up with a different way to get that hap to make that happen.
Speaker:We can just pretend to do golf and stuff at home or whatever it is.
Speaker:K? It's not
Speaker:too late. That's another thought I'm choosing to think. It's not too
Speaker:late. I have time.
Speaker:Now, from my connection and my thoughts, I'm gonna create
Speaker:some actions. I'm gonna decide what do I wanna do. And then
Speaker:I'm gonna ask my kids if they'd be willing to do these things and if
Speaker:they're interested. And if not, we'll brainstorm together, and I'm just gonna stay
Speaker:committed to creating this. I also need to be open to the fact
Speaker:it might not happen all 4 of us. It could happen just me and the
Speaker:kids. It could happen, individually, It
Speaker:you know, with me, with 1 kid, me with the other kid. It it can
Speaker:look different. It doesn't have to be what I decide in my head. Like, oh,
Speaker:we're all gonna do a big beach day or something. Like, I don't need to
Speaker:be so specific. If that's an idea I have, I can pitch that.
Speaker:And I need to be open and just keep deciding. Connection
Speaker:can happen. Connection can happen. I can get what I want. So that's
Speaker:sort of how mindset works. And if you need to reset your mindset, you
Speaker:just pick up a feeling. I often pick fun, which apparently
Speaker:some people challenge me. They say it's not a feeling, but I don't know.
Speaker:I I like thinking of it as one. I just chase it. I chase fun,
Speaker:and then I have thoughts that align with fun, and then I create actions that
Speaker:are fun. Peace, joy, calm,
Speaker:hope, connection, acceptance, kindness,
Speaker:generosity, openness, positivity, You pick
Speaker:a feeling, you come up with some thoughts,
Speaker:that will help you feel that way. Those are like little mini mantras or
Speaker:like little perspectives, you know, that you come up with.
Speaker:And then make a list of some actions that might help lend
Speaker:to getting you the thing you want for the rest of the summer. So that's
Speaker:summer mindset. Now, a couple other options that you
Speaker:can take when you are feeling burned out or
Speaker:feeling discouraged or feeling overwhelmed by the summer.
Speaker:Another option is a summer limit set reset.
Speaker:K? So a big thing that happens during the summer
Speaker:is that we go outside of our boundaries and we get loosey
Speaker:goosey on bedtime, on sugar, on
Speaker:screens. We can kinda get out of bounds. And why
Speaker:we have, you know, healthy diets and good,
Speaker:bedtimes and limited screen time and things like that is because it
Speaker:helps our children's nervous system. It helps them stay regulated. It
Speaker:helps them manage themselves and be better so they behave better.
Speaker:It makes them feel good. Right? So that's part of why we have
Speaker:all that structure. It's fun in the summer to let the
Speaker:structure go, Feel a little bit more free. It's
Speaker:nice for you because maybe you don't need to be on top of everything. You're
Speaker:like, whatever. Cereal's great. Eat up. You know? I love
Speaker:that. I want you to be able to be flexible. But if you feel like
Speaker:everything's really out of bounds, then you
Speaker:can, you know, take a take a beat
Speaker:and reset back to your
Speaker:traditional, your typical your personal family,
Speaker:rhythms. So if you feel like you're out of balance,
Speaker:then, you know, go back to a couple days a week
Speaker:where you go back to your old routine. They go to bed at this time.
Speaker:We eat dinner at this time. We, you
Speaker:know, we only have an hour a day of screen time
Speaker:or we don't have screen time Monday through Thursday. Whatever
Speaker:those kind of normal rules you have during the school year, go ahead and
Speaker:build that back in. Maybe just one day, you do a little
Speaker:limit set reset or maybe for a few days or maybe you
Speaker:just decide, you know, on a Wednesday, you're like, okay, tomorrow and Friday, we're
Speaker:not doing anything. We're gonna keep it simple. We're gonna get back to the routine.
Speaker:If you don't, if something comes up, no problem. You just know,
Speaker:oh, I always have that in my back pocket. I can always get back to
Speaker:our rhythms. I can always get back to our
Speaker:limits. If you want an episode
Speaker:to listen to on this topic of resetting your limits like
Speaker:a summer reset for rhythm and routines, listen
Speaker:to episode 76. It's,
Speaker:I think called summer reset. Now I don't remember.
Speaker:I don't have in front of me. But it's episode 76, and it will help
Speaker:you kind of get your head on to, like, oh, how do I reset back
Speaker:to what is typical for us? So you can choose a
Speaker:day where you focus on your routine around meals or bedtime
Speaker:or whatever it is. You can also
Speaker:part of this is having like a breathe in day. So a lot
Speaker:of the days of summer are like a lot of out and
Speaker:about. You're like, you know, going to the pool
Speaker:and then you're going to a play date and then you're going to, like, meet
Speaker:up with these friends for at the library. Like, it can be kinda busy or
Speaker:it's like they go you pick them up from camp and then you go over
Speaker:to so and so's house. And, like, it can be just a lot because you
Speaker:wanna pack it all in. Right? I get it. But if
Speaker:you have a lot going on for your kids, that's a lot of stimulation
Speaker:and that is hard for their nervous systems. So you can do a
Speaker:breathe in day where you kinda like sometimes I think
Speaker:of it like a rainy day. Like you just chill and recharge.
Speaker:You do quiet activities, like maybe go to the library just as a
Speaker:family or you do a movie night or you do a stuffed animal party or
Speaker:you just make some, you know, something like cookies or
Speaker:or lemonade or, you know, lemon fruit pops or something like that.
Speaker:And you just kind of settle everyone down. You stay home and you let
Speaker:everyone's rhythm and and nervous system kind of
Speaker:get back to a baseline. So those, that's your
Speaker:other option. Right? So you can either reset your mindset, you
Speaker:can reset your limits, or you can reset
Speaker:your body. So the third thing I wanna
Speaker:offer to you is about managing your
Speaker:own burnout. If your body like
Speaker:that one, you know, Instagram ladies, you know, the the
Speaker:Instagram post says, you know, body, I'm exhausted. It's hot. I just wanna lay
Speaker:down and relax. This pace is unsustainable. I need a
Speaker:break. If your body is crying out for a break,
Speaker:you need to take one. So that can be either,
Speaker:you know, figuring out somebody that you take your kids to an
Speaker:overnight and you say, hey, can you take my kid overnight? I'll take
Speaker:yours. I just I really do. I'm burned out. I need a night
Speaker:or I need an afternoon, something like that.
Speaker:If you're working, you take a Friday afternoon off if you can, or
Speaker:Wednesday, or whatever, and you guys kind of get your kids somewhere where
Speaker:they're safe, or you take a day off while they're at camp.
Speaker:Don't use all of your, you know, time off just to be with your
Speaker:kids. Take time off so that you can do what you need. Now I
Speaker:know I've seen this with a lot of moms is that they will take a
Speaker:take time off or take time out of their kids. And during that
Speaker:time, they will do stuff like organize the
Speaker:garage or do a big project with the linen closet or, you
Speaker:know, redo all their Amazon returns and go to Costco.
Speaker:Yes. Those things are helpful in the short term of
Speaker:making you feel productive and better, but
Speaker:you're still using your body. And there is
Speaker:a true exhaustion that happens that we want to
Speaker:rest. So I wanna let you have
Speaker:permission to take the break
Speaker:if your body is crying out for it. It's I I'm sorry
Speaker:to talk about my foot so much. I don't mean to. But, you know, I'm
Speaker:recovering from this foot injury. Well, it's not injury surgery.
Speaker:And I always like if I'm up on my feet for too long,
Speaker:like maybe 2 hours or 3 hours, my foot starts talking to me. That's what
Speaker:I say. Or sometimes I'm like it's barking at me. It gets swollen.
Speaker:It gets hot. It feels pressure. I need to elevate it. I have
Speaker:spent so much time of this summer just laying down with my foot
Speaker:up. And it's annoying because I wanna be doing other
Speaker:things, but I also need to respect what my body's calling
Speaker:for. And I know long term, if I take care of my body
Speaker:in the short term, in the long term, this surgery will be more effective.
Speaker:If you care about my surgery, I can tell you more about it. Just DM
Speaker:me. It's not that big of a deal. But I I
Speaker:want my long term health to pay off. So I need to do the
Speaker:short term, you know, inconvenience. I need to be laying down.
Speaker:So, you know, I've watched a lot of shows. I've read a lot of books.
Speaker:I've just laid down. I haven't made dinner. We've ordered takeout. It's not been
Speaker:great in that way of, like, fun, but
Speaker:it's been necessary. And so I wanna let you know
Speaker:that that's a possibility for you, that you get to take
Speaker:breaks. Now it's not there's the the, like,
Speaker:chunk of time off. Right? An overnight or, you know,
Speaker:a couple of hours or whatever. And then there's this other concept that
Speaker:I like to talk about called mini breaks. And I think of
Speaker:mini breaks is where, and I do these all the time, where I
Speaker:intentionally take a break from
Speaker:my life. And that looks like pouring
Speaker:myself a cup of tea in the summer. It might be iced
Speaker:tea. In the winter, it's hot tea. And
Speaker:I go sit in some place that I find beautiful, either
Speaker:a place in my home that I find comfortable and
Speaker:and inviting and cozy or a place in the yard.
Speaker:And I just sit and I observe and I just
Speaker:be, I drink my tea. A 5
Speaker:minute tea break, 10 minute tea break is
Speaker:so powerful. Like it really
Speaker:does reset me. I know you're all busy. You get your car
Speaker:your Starbucks, you get your iced coffee, you get your, you know, whatever you
Speaker:do, and then you rush around with it. I know you're
Speaker:busy moms. I get it. And I'm inviting you
Speaker:to sit down and just take a beat to let your nervous
Speaker:system settle, to connect with your body, to breathe
Speaker:slowly, to let the racing mind settle
Speaker:down. If you can be present, looking at the trees,
Speaker:looking at like there's like so many butterflies and hummingbirds in my
Speaker:yard that have noticed more and more over the last couple of years because I've
Speaker:slowed down and paid attention. I'm sure they were always there,
Speaker:but it makes me so happy to find them. But I have to be present.
Speaker:I have to be paying attention. Now you might be thinking, I can't do that.
Speaker:I've got 3 little kids. They're always bother me. Sure.
Speaker:You can train your kids or not train, but you can teach your kids. Oh,
Speaker:mommy's doing her mini break. I'm gonna sit here for 5 minutes. You're welcome
Speaker:to sit near me as long as you're quiet. You're welcome to go
Speaker:grab your own tea, your own drink. So you
Speaker:can teach them that you're doing this and
Speaker:inviting them into that practice with you. You can
Speaker:put on your headphones and listen to music or an audio book or podcast
Speaker:while you're making dinner. You can just exit.
Speaker:Take one sensory input out like you're the noise of the
Speaker:children and put your headphones on or just put your headphones on. Don't listen
Speaker:to anything. Just kinda create a little bit of silence.
Speaker:You know, other ways that I talk to the moms in my
Speaker:club and in my programs is to take a walk alone
Speaker:before dinner. If your partner comes home, if you have a partner and they come
Speaker:home, you say, you know what? I need a minute. I'll be back. I'm gonna
Speaker:just go around the block. Do a morning yoga class on
Speaker:YouTube. Take a night off the bedtime routine so you can sit and read.
Speaker:If you have support from your partner, ask for
Speaker:help. You do not need to be supermom. It's
Speaker:not necessary and it doesn't serve you or your kids.
Speaker:Now, I teach a lot about this particular topic topic
Speaker:on summer burnout in episode 21. So the episodes
Speaker:I referred to are episode 19 about mindset,
Speaker:episode 21 about summer burnout,
Speaker:and episode 76 on limits in the summer,
Speaker:a limit set reset. So,
Speaker:again, I want you to feel
Speaker:as, like, powerful. I want you to feel empowered. I want you to feel confident.
Speaker:I want you to feel content. I want you to feel hopeful. I want you
Speaker:to look at the past 6 weeks of summer or however long it's been. I
Speaker:literally have not looked, but look back at it and think good
Speaker:job. Good job, mama. We did it. We've been showing
Speaker:up. We've been planning the things we've been creating as much love and joy
Speaker:as we can. And our kids are happy. Look at
Speaker:that. Good job. I would like you to put a little, you
Speaker:know, pat yourself on the shoulder and tell yourself a
Speaker:positive story about the last few weeks and
Speaker:then reset looking forward and figuring out what do you need. Do you
Speaker:need some more limits and rhythm? Do you need some more mindset
Speaker:and action plans? Or do you need a break?
Speaker:And then go get it for yourself. Go take care of yourself. I wanna see
Speaker:you taking care of yourself. So please, if you do
Speaker:anything like a summer reset, you know, you do have
Speaker:plans something with your kids or you do something fun for
Speaker:yourself. You take a little mama break. Send me a picture. Send
Speaker:me a photo on Instagram at Darlyn Childress or tag me or
Speaker:whatever. I wanna know if you are enjoying your summer and if
Speaker:you're resetting yourself and if you're giving yourselves little pep talks.
Speaker:Because that is the power of coaching is that
Speaker:you get coached by me and then you start coaching yourself.
Speaker:Having a positive mindset is going to help you
Speaker:enjoy the rest of the summer. If you need help
Speaker:for your summer, I have, I think, 3 spots,
Speaker:1 on 1 spots open for a 6 week program. So
Speaker:you get to work with me 1 on 1. One. I'd love to talk to
Speaker:you. I'd love to help you right now, like, here at the end of
Speaker:July, beginning of August, and kind of, like,
Speaker:tweak the summer, get the most juice out of it, like, wring
Speaker:that towel out, get all of it out that all the joy and peace and
Speaker:love and all the yumminess, and then help you reset
Speaker:for this, school year. This is such a good time to get
Speaker:coaching. I know you feel busy and that's fine. But as the summer
Speaker:starts to wind down, we wanna get our kids reset. We wanna do any last
Speaker:minute summer bucket list stuff, get that done, and then look for
Speaker:the for the school year. So this is a great time to get coaching. If
Speaker:you're looking for support, now is a good time.
Speaker:And I have some spots. I have a Thursday morning spot. I have
Speaker:a, yeah, Thursday morning. I have some Monday afternoon
Speaker:spots. So reach out. I'd love to, help
Speaker:you. And as far as the
Speaker:summer mamas, I want you to lean in, enjoy as
Speaker:much as you can realize summer is super short.
Speaker:It's temporary. It won't always be this hard.
Speaker:Alright. I hope you have a great week, and I will talk to you next
Speaker:time.