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Ep.8 What story are you telling yourself?
Episode 810th January 2021 • The Borealis Experience • Aurora Eggert
00:00:00 00:18:52

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Hey you

Today we will be talking about the story you tell yourself about yourself and how it might prevent you from living a juicy life.

I will be sharing my first vulnerable story here with you cause I know you might be able to relate.

I will also share with you in the future how I freed myself from a crippling-anxiety story and am able now to enjoy life better Lots of love and thank you for listening and making time for yourself to grow and just be in the moment.

Your host Aurora

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Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter become the strongest most authentic version of yourself.





Let’s dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 




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Transcripts

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Hello, hello,

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and welcome to the next episode of the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora. And I'm so grateful to be spending some

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time with you today. I'm in Canada, I live pretty much off

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grid in the Rocky Mountains, it's very cold outside. And I

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just took care of the chickens this morning. And now I decided

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to record my next episode a little earlier than usual. So

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today, I will be covering history, your history, the story

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you tell yourself about yourself and your past that is

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influencing your well being. The last couple of episodes, we

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covered the body, the mind, our relationships, our emotions,

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everything that influences our well being. And I feel that our

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history also plays a lot into how we feel about ourselves

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today. What is the story you tell yourself? And how can you

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free yourself from it, if it is not serving you anymore, I will

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share a very vulnerable part of my story in this episode later

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on, and will also tell you how I was able to free myself it

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really changed a lot, if not everything in my life, ever

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since I was able to do that. And this is why this is so precious

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for me to send this out to you, because maybe you can shortcut

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maybe you can get fostered to that point, then it took me. So

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the way you perceive yourself, is the way you will actually

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show up in the world. It is really interesting. When you

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observe yourself, when alone. When you spend time just with

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yourself. Do you notice that you feel different? You act

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different? As soon as you are with others? Do you enjoy being

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with other people? And how much? Do you compare yourself to

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others? And then which story is running? In the background? Do

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you feel inferior? Do you feel superior? Do you feel equal most

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of the time? And in conversations? How much does the

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other person talk? How much do you talk?

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Is

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the talk you receive from other people more of a noise? Or is

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there an actual content? We probably all know people that

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fill the room that talk a lot. But when you boil it down to

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what the actual messages and is not a lot, it is just Yeah, they

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have their own motifs, we say in German, they have their own

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intentions of why they talk a lot and don't share lots of

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content. How is it with you? When you open your mouth? And

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share yourself to another person? Can you actually open up

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and share yourself? Or are you the person who is more secretive

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and doesn't really like to share much about about yourself? So

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how much does the other person disclose? How much do you

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disclose? And as you can see now already your history ties

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tightly and to your relationships. What you learned

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in the past about yourself, the conclusions you made defines how

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you relate to people today. And then when we go back to a

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conversation here, how much does the other person listen? Yeah,

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do they actually listen? Or do they just wait until you finish

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talking? And then they keep talking about what they think is

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important. And how much are you able to listen? That's a very

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critical point in bonding and nurturing healthy relationships

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as the listening abilities that we bring to the table. Now what

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is the story you tell you And you keep repeating. There's so

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many, so many stories that we all have, we might not have all

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of them, but some of them. So for people who struggle with

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weight loss, I can't lose weight I tried so often, and I'm just

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not made for this. I don't have the discipline. Or I always make

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the same mistake when something goes wrong. When it comes to

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other people, what is the story you tell? They're like, people

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always let you down. people reject you, people don't

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understand you. People are dumb. People don't get you. I will

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never find a partner. All men suck all women suck. What have

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you closed your doors to? Because of your story that

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happened in the past? What is it that you tell yourself? I want

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you to take a couple seconds now. I want to be quiet. And

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maybe think back? And school? How was it in school that you

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feel good and school? First interactions, first experience

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of group dynamics?

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What is it that defines you, but you would love to get rid of

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because you know, it won't make you a more content and happier

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and successful person. So I will share my story with you. I was

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six when I moved from the very north part of Germany to the

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very south. And in Germany, there's different accents. I can

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every country, I would say wherever you live you as a

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child, especially adapt to an accent a way of living. And then

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when you move to a different part of the same country, you

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are sometimes met with hostility. And so we moved from

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Hamburg to Munich, and I enter school, primary school and the

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teacher was very Catholic very, doesn't actually matter which

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religion, very religious. And she knew I was from up north

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where there's many people from the Protestant believe. And they

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talk differently. Up north, so I talked differently. So she could

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point me on right away and ridicule me in front of other

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people in front of my classmates. And she was a very

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aggressive teacher, I will never understand why she became a

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teacher for grade one and two, six to eight years old,

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approximately. And she made me feel very anxious because she is

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was a very old lady and was used to train people through

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punishment and aggression. And it really harmed me a lot. It

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turned me into a very anxious person. So that's the first two

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years of my life at school. I had okay grades, I had good

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grades because I fought for it. And I didn't let her get to me

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but my self esteem really suffered. And then I entered

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High School. And there my anxiety continued my anxiety of

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learning making mistakes, speaking in public just got

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worse and worse. And I don't know. If you know that

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experienced that before. And when you're in fear mode, then

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you are your mind your brain is stupid. Let's put it that way.

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You can really make good decisions. You can really answer

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questions rationally. You're just caught in that fear mode.

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And it really is debilitating and crippling. So in high

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school. Oh, my voice is cracking. I got bullied so many

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years because of that. Yeah, people just made fun of me

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because I asked stupid questions. But I fought. I

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fought I fought in America. True and I had good grades and yeah,

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then started like finish school left everything pretty much

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behind physically but emotionally Of course not. And

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then I became a physiotherapist and there, it all changed like I

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was able to learn something that I was actually passionate about.

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I can make new friends and it was okay but the learning

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anxiety the anxiety from a teacher there again, I had a

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very aggressive nasty teacher and one of my my classes and it

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all got triggered again and I feel so I felt so dumb again and

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so yeah vulnerable and not able to succeed and even something I

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was passionate about. So that went over to is fought my way

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through it. And then life, I don't know continued I became a

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physiotherapist was very happy and

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somewhat successful with that. And long story short, I was

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still very insecure about myself and my learning abilities and

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feeling stupid in group dynamics. And when people knew a

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little more than me, I just threw the towel in and thought,

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Well, I'm stupid anyway. So what's the point? And then I

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moved to Canada. And to immigrate, I had to go back to

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college. Because that made the process just so much easier. And

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at that time, I was so broken because of an heartbreak. And I

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decided to study something else agriculture. I said that in the

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introduction already, like I'm a physiotherapist with an

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agriculture degree and yoga teacher. So I learned

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agriculture plant major. And let me tell you Canadian culture is

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so much more considerate. I'm sure there's assholes here too.

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But in the school, I went to the teachers who are so kind hearted

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and so like, awesome, and telling me when I was doing

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something wrong. Yeah, they had a very nice way of telling you

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that you screwed up. But it gave me confidence. It told me Okay,

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I can do better. He believes in me. She believes in Me and I

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I'll do better next time because they give me the tools to

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succeed as well. They take the time to talk to you and don't

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just make you feel like a piece of shit. So two years. I was in

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Lethbridge at the college. I was a really, really good student. I

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enjoyed learning again, I completely was able to find my

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self esteem again. And yeah, I left college and ever since I

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allow myself to learn new things to fail at the beginning and

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know that I will get better with time and I don't feel I'm

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crippled anymore by my anxiety to learn and fail i i get over

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it. So sorry for getting so emotional about this. I have my

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voice back now. But I hope you understand my message here. It

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does not avoid leaving your home country and having to discover

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new worlds. But in your hometown in your little city you live in

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or a big city you can always find a new niche where you can

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find new people that will see your light and appreciate you

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for the person you are and especially the things that you

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have most resistance to so in my case it was learning new things

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being open for criticism, constructive criticism and

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allowing people to tell me Hey, like, try it this way and might

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help you and you might get better at it. As soon as I made

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that positive experience and allowed it was open for it. It

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changed the whole way I saw myself so when it comes to your

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story know, if you had a really nasty experience in the past

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with someone or something, I beg you to look back and revisit

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that situation and make peace with it. I know that this

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teacher was just not the perfect fit for me, every child is

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different, and learns differently. And she just had

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her one way to teach people and it happened to be the wrong way

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for me. But I have to give forgive her now and give myself

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the chance to keep being open and not judge and just

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experience new things. So this is just the intro season. Season

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One is just about all the things I want to touch on in the

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future. teasers so to say. And today is about the history. Us

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story. You tell yourself.

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Maybe you had a car accident a couple years back and no, you

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don't put a foot into a car anymore, maybe you have a huge

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heartbreak that you're pushing through and happens to be with a

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person that has blonde hair, and now you're avoiding persons with

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blonde hair. Go deep down inside of yourself today and search for

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that story that you keep telling yourself where you have most

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resistance to. And then try to make peace with it and try to

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see that you might be not allowing yourself to see the

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full picture nowadays. It's like the horses that you know, go

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through the city and have these blinders to not get scared.

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Maybe your blinders are way too big than necessary. And if

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there's any way you could change that and open your life and your

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heart and your mind again to second life fully and to trust

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that Yeah, you've been hurt in the past. But you are a

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different person today you have all the tools to protect

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yourself today without having to hide and without having to live

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in fear. So I'm sending out my love to you today. Thank you so

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much for listening to my story here. I felt very vulnerable at

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times, but I don't care at this point. It's more important to me

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to help others and to make others feel less lonely with

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their pain then if people judge me, I just couldn't care less

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about that. So yeah, let this soak in for sink in. I mean for

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a second. And we will talk more about it in the future. Awesome

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for spending time with you today. He listened to the

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Borealis experience. I'm your host Aurora. And if he liked

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this episode, please leave me a review or rate and it would help

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me greatly to continue my hard work

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