Have you ever opened social media feeling totally fine… and closed the app feeling off—but you can’t quite explain why?

Maybe a post didn’t get the response you hoped for.

Maybe you saw something that made you feel left out, behind, or suddenly not enough.

In today’s episode of Healing Is My Hobby, we’re exploring why social media can hit so deep—and why those reactions might not be about the app at all. They might be old emotional wounds getting activated.

We’ll talk about how feelings like abandonment, comparison, and the need for validation show up online, how they connect to trauma responses, and—most importantly—how to meet those moments with awareness, compassion, and tools that actually help your nervous system settle.

This isn’t about quitting social media or shaming yourself for how you feel.

It’s about understanding your reactions, separating your worth from likes and comments, and creating digital boundaries that support your emotional health.

If you’ve ever thought, “Why did that affect me so much?”—this episode is for you.

Key Takeaways

• Social media can trigger emotional responses linked to trauma.
• Feelings of abandonment can arise from social media interactions.
• Validation wounds can be triggered by poor post performance.
• Awareness is crucial for emotional regulation.
• Naming your emotional wounds can help dissolve shame.
• Reconnecting with your body aids in emotional regulation.
• Social media is curated and not the full truth.
• Reducing exposure during vulnerable moments is important.
• Likes and comments do not define your self-worth.
• Creating digital boundaries can support emotional health.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Emotional Triggers in Social Media

06:19 Navigating Trauma Responses and Regulation Techniques

08:59 Practical Tools for Healthy Social Media Engagement

09:32 NEWCHAPTER

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social media, trauma response, emotional triggers, mental health, awareness, compassion, digital boundaries, emotional regulation, self-care, healing

Welcome back to Healing Is My Hobby and welcome to our This Might Be a Trauma Response segment. We talk about those, why am I like this moments? We name common patterns, normalize emotional responses and create space for compassion instead of shame. Today, we are exploring why social media can feel emotionally triggering in ways that don't make sense

and how those reactions might actually be trauma responses. This episode is not about judgment. It's about awareness, compassion, and reclaiming your emotional space. Let's unpack it gently. Social media isn't neutral. It taps into the deepest parts of our relational wiring.

Let's look at abandonment wound triggers. This is when we see people hanging out without us, posts we're not included in, stories that make us feel forgotten. Our brain thinks, I'm not safe, I'm alone. We also have.

worthiness wound triggers. Seeing someone succeed, looking at someone with a perfect home, perfect family, perfect milestones. We think I'm behind, I'm not enough. It can also trigger validation wounds. A post performs poorly. A comment is misinterpreted. Someone doesn't respond.

that can impact nervous system panic. Did I do something wrong?

These reactions feel modern, but guess what? They're

early relational templates, the ways you learn to feel safe or unsafe with others.

What are some of the trauma responses that show up online? People pleasing, posting to be liked, you're editing yourself, you're hiding your real life, you're trying to be palatable. This is fawning, a trauma response rooted in securing connection.

might experience hypervigilance where we're checking our phone constantly, rereading comments, monitoring everyone's reactions, feeling on edge. This is a fight or flight activation. We may experience emotional numbing, scrolling for hours, feeling detached, losing time. This is a freeze response, overwhelmed disguised as relaxing.

Maybe we are engaging in reassurance seeking, asking for feedback, deleting and reposting, needing constant engagement. This is an abandonment wound looking for soothing. So how do we know it's a trauma response? I encourage you to ask yourself, does this feel bigger than the situation? Is my reaction familiar from other areas of my life?

Am I trying to avoid a feeling? Does this mirror something from childhood or past relationships? Am I emotionally activated beyond what's happening on screen? Awareness is the first step toward regulation. So let's look at that. What about regulation? How do we sue the activation?

First, I think it's important that we name the wound, right? I'm feeling left out. This is my abandonment wound. Shame dissolves when named. In mental health, we love to say name it to tame it, right? So first, just acknowledge what's really going on. Second, reconnect with your body. Put your hand on your heart. Take a deep breath. Notice where your shoulders are.

inching up towards your ears or can we allow our shoulders to relax and go down?

This gives you time to bring yourself out of the past and into the present.

Let's do a reality check with your algorithm. You know, what you're seeing is not the whole truth. It's curated. We've talked so much about this in previous episodes this month, just about how social media has algorithms and everything is very intentional and what you're seeing. So it is not the whole truth. It's just a little sliver of your feed.

Can you reduce exposure during vulnerable moments? This is important. We should be avoiding scrolling when we're tired, lonely, overstimulated, emotionally depleted, because your nervous system is more reactive during those windows. We wanna shift and replace reactivity with compassion. Try saying, I'm having a completely human response.

to an over stimulating environment. We've gone over this so much again this month, just about how social media can wreak havoc with our central nervous system. And when we are numbing, and this is what I learned for myself in the healing lab, when we are going to social media to kind of dissociate or numb ourselves, that we're not giving ourselves the ability to stop and check in with ourselves and look at what am I really experiencing?

Right? I'm feeling lonely. Right? I'm feeling emotionally depleted. I'm feeling stressed out. By always constantly going to our phone, we don't allow ourselves to experience those feelings and then we're not gonna be able to nurture them.

of this is a normal human response. Our brains are not meant to have this many feelings, to see, for our senses to experience all of this so quickly.

Our reactions to social media are not personal failures. There are patterns that our body has developed to feel safe long before Instagram existed.

Before we wrap up today, I want to leave you with a few gentle reminders and tools you can carry with you. Like we've talked about first, pause before you scroll. If you notice a tight chest, racing thoughts, or that urge to check just one more time, let that be your cue to pause. Even a five second breath can interrupt the autopilot and give your nervous system a chance to settle. Second, practice aftercare, not self-criticism.

If social media leaves you feeling activated, don't shame yourself for it. Instead ask, what does my nervous system need right now? That might be stepping outside, drinking water, stretching, texting a safe person, or simply resting your eyes. I remember there was a person that I was following that was in my personal life and every time I was seeing their posts, because I knew it was a highlight reel and not reality, it was really pissing me off. And so I ended up just deciding to mute that account.

And so really, you know, just practice after care. You know, instead of criticizing myself, why am I comparing, why do I care their life, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I explored what I needed and I took action. Third, separate your worth from your engagement. Likes, views, and comments are data, not a measure of your value, your healing, or your belonging. You are allowed to show up imperfectly, quietly, or not at all.

Fourth, create small digital boundaries that feel supportive. You don't need to delete everything or disappear. Sometimes it's as simple as muting accounts that activate comparison, like I just talked about. It can be limiting scrolling, it's a certain times of day, you know, I really recommend not even opening social media the first 30 minutes of your day. Or unfollowing what no longer feels aligned to you. Finally, remember this, your reactions to social media aren't personal failures.

They're protective patterns your body learned to survive and stay connected. Again, like I said multiple times today, long before Instagram existed. Awareness creates choice. Compassion creates healing. Next week, we'll close out the month with a short, grounding year-end reflection on how to bring a healthier digital mindset in the new year. Until then, take a deep breath. Be gentle with yourself. You're doing better than you think.

If you wanna know more about me, you can check out my website, jessicaclericalcsw.com, or you can go to healingismyhobby.com. Both of my websites have a link for you to sign up for my newsletter. I send out my newsletter about three to four times a month, and there's so many juicy tips and tools and resources in there for

I also have a section there where my healing picks for the month of products that are out there that I highly recommend that I think are great.

for you when you're on this healing journey. Thanks for listening today and have a great one.