Intro

We’re up to sin #5 in our Seven Deadly Sins series and today is one that most men can probably relate to - the sin of anger.

For many people, anger is the substitute emotion to mask deeper feelings that you struggle to express. Identifying the real emotion that is underneath and understanding what triggered it is a key to victory over anger.

This describes me to a T. I would say 90% of the times I have an outburst of anger, anger isn’t really the issue. I’m dealing with fear. I’m dealing with feelings of inadequacy, or I am made painfully aware of how little control I have.

Car trouble - sets me off like nothing else. The reason I get so mad - I don’t know a lot about cars. I come face to face with my ignorance and lack of knowledge/experience. I fear the cost. It throws my schedule off which is a reminder of the lack of control I have.

The problem is fear and inadequacy don’t really seem like very manly emotions. But for some reason, historically, our culture has given men some leniency when it comes to anger.

Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

I think there is an agenda to feminize men in our culture. That’s not what we’re talking about here. Understanding our emotions, what’s really going on, is not “feminine” or “masculine” thing. It’s having wisdom. David wrote Psalm 139. He was a man’s man - a warrior, a giant killer

It’s important to ask God to help us identify what is really going on. We often have blinders. It’s good to bring other brothers in who can also give you input.

I think it’s important before we get too far in to the conversation to be clear that not all anger is a sin. Jesus was angry at times and he never sinned. God the Father has been angry and he is perfect. Expressed anger at the temple when he threw over the money changers’ tables. Was angry at the religious leaders at times for leading the people astray.

Ephesians 4:26 And “don’t sin by letting anger control you. (NLT) NIV - In your anger do not sin.

Matt’s Camping Trip and my anger-Frustration, learned from my father. Thought it would make a teachable moment but in a bad way. I was trying to shortcut discipline and not share the why. Became a teachable moment for forgiveness with Matt and while he still struggles with forgetting things (yes Matt is probably listening) he blessed him with an amazing wife that helps cover this blind spot.

Josh’s disobedience as a teenager and my frustration with him led to a famous hole in the wall in our house. Another teachable moment for my kids.

Substitute anger is a false pathway to control – making you feel powerful instead of vulnerable.

Genesis 4:6-7 Why are you so angry?” the Lord asked Cain. “Why do you look so dejected? 7 You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.”

Context of the situation - Abel’s offering was accepted, Cain’s was not

He hadn’t sinned yet. God said, “You’ll be accepted if you do what is right”. Sin was crouching at the door. It hadn’t come in yet. Cain could have dealt with this in the right way and it wouldn’t have become sin.

Emotions his anger was masking - jealousy, feeling like he didn’t measure up, maybe helplessness .

If you know the story, Cain didn’t get his anger under control. (lame pastor joke - because he wasn’t able). He ended up murdering his brother. His whole life changed because he wasn’t able to control his anger.

Anger while getting ready for church because we are late- I hate being late. Then the movie “God’s Not Dead” came along and a subplot is about two characters who are constantly getting sidelined for a trip they were taking. One was getting frustrated, the other was just a great example and just kept saying “God is good all the time” and knew that God had him where he needed to be. Not to spoil the movie, but the movie ends with these two being in the right place at the right time.

Substitute anger actually causes a loss of control – both emotionally and relationally, and even spiritually.

James 1:20Human anger[g] does not produce the righteousness[h] God desires

Just before this, we’re told to be slow to speak and slow to anger.

Isn’t it ironic that anger often causes even more loss of control, when feeling like we don’t have control is one of the key causes of substitute anger? Back to car story - breaking down on the way home from Alabama to Utah with my fiance riding along with me. Punched the side of the car as we were stranded. Rhonda looked at me like I was a complete idiot, which I was, and said, “ Is there some way that’s supposed to fix the car or make the situation better?”

When we lose our temper like that, it can cause relationships to spiral. People don’t feel safe around us. Even if they feel physically safe, they don’t feel safe emotionally to share concerns, fears, ideas. It breaks down communication within the relationship.

Loss of spiritual control - 1 John 3:10 So now we can tell who are children of God and who are children of the devil. Anyone who does not live righteously and does not love other believers[b] does not belong to God.

Ecclesiastes 7:9 Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.

It’s foolishness to lose our temper and have outbursts of anger.

My loss of control in Afghanistan after watching a tragic event. I felt totally helpless. Rage and murder in my heart as I rolled into strafe the enemy that had caused this situation. I fully intended to shoot without clearance because I could see the enemy still and I was going to “take care of it”. Thankfully as I am about to pull the trigger, God made me stop and pull up and I performed a rather “ impressive” show of force just over the head of the enemy instead. Why didnt I shoot, the enemy was very close to the friendlies that had just been hit and if one of my rounds had been even a few feet off, I could have made things much much worse.

The antidote to anger is to be vulnerable and practice silence – just as Jesus did.

Like many sins, we have a tendency to justify our anger. If anyone had a reason to be angry, it would have been Jesus after his betrayal. He was completely innocent, falsely accused by one of his closest followers (one of the twelve), Crowds taunting him - “He saved others. Let him save himself and come down and we’ll believe him.” In all that, he remained silent.

Psalm 4:4 Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent. - Most of us don’t even have to think about it overnight. If we’d just stop and be quiet for 15 minutes, the anger would subside. We wouldn’t say things that we end up regretting.

Ephesians 4:26-27 26 And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.”[d] Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

Anger gives the devil a foothold. If we don’t address it, deal with it, that foothold will eventually become a stronghold. That anger leads to bitterness, resentment. I experienced that in my career before going into ministry. I became a very skeptical, cynical person because of not dealing with anger in a healthy way.

Anger with a boss while being gaslighted then God melting my heart for him in a moment when I had been praying,fasting and seeking wise counsel all the while asking the Lord to forgive me and take this burden from me. My anger started as just anger against injustices that I witnessed, but then I let it continue into an unhealthy sinful anger of frustration. Then when my Boss was having his own outburst of anger over not being promoted, the Lord had prepared me, and in supernatural moment, God gave me recall of numerous scriptures for him and completely flipped my anger to love.

Wrapping up - being honest with ourselves and others about those deeper emotions we’re trying to hide with anger - fear, inadequacy, etc. Being vulnerable and transparent about those frees us from trying to mask them.

How I dealt with frustration this morning just before the recording. God has an awesome sense of humor and timing!!!!! Capt Vaughn vs Col Vaughn

Seeking wise counsel, prayer and fasting helped me with the deep anger. For the moments of quick onset anger like being in traffic or late for a meeting, prayer where I acknowledge I am angry, and focusing my thoughts on what I am grateful for seems to help me. “God is good all the time and all the time, God is good”

Anger for me seems to be the exact opposite of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Love can be a cure for our division in America