Listen in as we tackle the polarizing narrative of "Still Beating" by Jennifer Hartmann, examining the flawed decision-making of its characters and the portrayal of trauma within its pages.

Content Highlights:

• We got it right on the first try!!!!!
• A real serial killer
• Therapy anyone?

Jenn's Rating: Darkness 5, Spicy 1, Overall 2

Mistie's Rating: Darkness 5, Spicy 1, Overall 2

NEW DARKNESS SCALE UPDATED JULY 2, 2024 - 4 Skulls

Other books mentioned: Dead Soldiers Vs Tailors, The Teacher by Freida McFadden, Perfect Strangers

we're messy, damaged humans clinging to each other as we battle through the storm together. But it's okay because we're together. And this morning Jenn and I are talking about still beating by Jennifer Hartman and I think that's one of the very first times we got title and author right on the first try.

Yeah on the first try. Yeah probably, I think so.

Oh, I feel a little sleep deprived this morning. I should have said that before, oh that's okay. So things I didn't like about the book. It's going to become a complete shocker, but I did not like the main female character.

Yeah, why.

I didn't like this whole. Okay, obviously people make stupid decisions and she's justified in making her stupid decisions, but then I felt like she went and did I don't even know what goes beyond stupid decisions. That's what she was doing and like I get. Everybody handles trauma differently, but we have to remember this is fiction and it's in a book. I didn't like the fact that she was using him to heal herself and I say like heal in quotations but then still blaming him for destroying her.

That's what I didn't like, because she kept on like oh, I need you, I can't sleep without you, let's have sex. And then she's like you're suffocating me, you're still killing me, like you're not giving me what. And I didn't like that because I think I think in her mind she forgot that he was traumatized too well, yeah, because he was the protector the whole time.

So I didn't like that. That bothered me, and I do find it curious that the author decided to write it that way instead of them trying to work through it together. But I mean, I guess you wouldn't have the ending that you had. But still, I don't think I've read a book where people have suffered trauma together and then they blame each other or they blame the other person, without recognizing that they need to heal too. At least that I remember. It's probably true that I have, but not that I can remember the top of my head. So it was definitely a twist.

Yeah, a twist. Yeah, I think what bothered me was, and granted, I mean you're dealing with like this unbelievable trauma, but I I wish it hadn't like gone on behind everyone's backs for as long as it did, like gone on behind everyone's backs for as long as it did, and they had figured out a way to actually communicate, like with the sister and with the family and I mean, and there's so many layers there. I mean obviously there's shame and there's guilt, and you know there's there's so much to work through that the way Jennifer ended up like splitting them up and made sense, but I feel like it that wouldn't have had to have happened if they had like kind of like what you said, like gone and sat down together and communicated about things instead of just like basically reverting back to the trauma to try to work through the trauma.

Yeah, and also trying to revert back to the relationship that they had before, and he's like, no, we can't do that.

Yeah.

I'm glad that you brought up the sister, because I hated her. She was a selfish beep. All she cared about was herself. She didn't care that they suffered this thing. It's like well, when are you going to get better? It's been like three weeks, like. Why are you not over this, like? And then it was really hard to tell if the parents were on her side or her sister's side. I don't even remember her name, so we'll just call her beep, because that's what she was Shit. I lost my thought.

I think I lost my thought because I said beep instead of pitch, and I don't know why I'm censoring myself. Yeah, you certainly don't have to censor yourself around here that's not a sign.

Something's wrong. I don't know what is. I think that's why I'm like why did you just say peep, and then I had no idea what I was saying? Okay, anyways, I think I was really sad for him because he settled with the sister when he had, you know, had feelings for her like 15 years. Like, I think you're right. I think if they would have communicated at least when they were younger, maybe things would have turned out differently.

So fiance had feelings for the sister prior to the trauma.

Prior before he hooked up with her sister. Yeah, in the basement. That's one of his confessions. So they confess things to each other and he's like I've liked you since we were in high school, before he got with the sister. The sister was just second choice.

I completely forgot about that.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean the miscommunication trope, if you want to call it that. It just irritates me, and this is coming from somebody like I don't know. Like I guess Mike and I used to have miscommunications but like now we communicate about everything. So, like miscommunication irritates me.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I don't. Yeah, I don't know.

And it wasn't what I thought it was going to be. Like I legit thought that they were going to be enemies, not this foe or fa what's the word? Foe, fa, fake, fake enemies. Like they were only enemies in her head. Like I really expected them to be. Like like on the opposite side of the family tracks, sort of thing.

Yeah.

And then coming together. And then part of the obstacle would have been not only coming over the trauma but then having to, you know, defeat the odds of being together.

Oh, silly morning kisses huh, that's interesting because I remember them being like pretty hateful towards each other, each other prior to prior to the basement so it was.

It was like sybil rivalry is what it was playing like pranks on them, but to him it was just their love language. And to her, like she's like no, you are my enemy. Like you threw flour on me from the kitchen. You, you know, put salts instead of sugar in my cup. You know like it was ridiculous things. But she like took it to heart and he's just like I just thought we were having fun. That was our love language. That's how we talked. Like he's like I've never I've never been your enemy. If you needed me, I've been there, like with the dog and like all the things he's like, which I guess just kind of full circle as to why we don't like her.

Yeah.

Cause. At first, when I started reading it, I was like please tell me, the guy she doesn't end up with it's her sister's fiance. Like I didn't realize the history till we get to the basement.

Right. You know, yeah, I thought it was a interesting concept and I could certainly see like I feel like you could only go one of two ways in that situation.

I think you would either have to like not hate the person, but like hate the person and never see them again, or you would spend the rest of your life with them yeah, you know no one's no one's gonna understand like that trauma and people are only going to pretend or want you for the spotlight yeah so I do think it's interesting that there's like two other books in this shared universe oh, there is yeah, I don't know if you remember at the end, which was this was total cop out.

It fucking made no sense that he let one of them go. He let the chick go. The chick at the end, I don't know if you remember and she had a baby by, not by him, but by the guy that she was locked in the basement with.

Yeah, wait so yeah, so he's the heartbreak killer and he would take people that he saw together, like at clubs or whatever, that weren't really couples, and then forced them to like fall in love, and then, once they fall in love, he kills one of them or both of them. Well, this chick apparently pretended to have feelings for the heartbreak killer or whatever his name is, and then, once the her and her professor fell in love cause that's, who he kidnapped was her professor he killed the professor and then let her go.

Is this a different book?

No, this is in this book. We learned this in this book, but she has her own book. That made no sense.

I'm so confused.

Yeah. So as they're going through their trauma and they're unfolding and the case is happening, somebody comes forward and says I was helped by the heartbreak killer too, but he let me go and we learn about her story. I don't think. Okay. Sorry, I didn't mean to confuse you.

No, it's okay, it's easy to do. I'm not through my first cup of coffee.

Oh. Beware, audience beware so we learn all of that at the end of book one, because she goes and sees her to talk to her, because she's trying to justify her feelings for Dean and that chick, the chick who got away. She has her own book.

I gotcha, I think. I do remember vaguely seeing something along those lines, because she, like legit, falls in love with him, right.

No, it was all a ruse. She loved her professor, ended up getting pregnant by her professor while she was down there okay, well, apparently I'm just all kinds of fucked up today that's okay, we're all messy, but we're in this together okay, so what?

was there anything that you liked about the book?

all right, well, the silence is loud honestly, I liked that it was a serial killer premise yeah and an actual killer yeah, a real one and not like part of the plot or anything.

I, even though it was fake enemies to lovers, I still liked that and I liked dean. I still liked that and I liked Dean because, even though he was struggling and he struggled a lot more so than I think her he still found a way to be there for her. And then he's just like and I honestly think that the leaving was more for his sake than her sake. He's like, I mean, even though she kept on clinging to him you know he was never going to be able to say no to her, so he had to leave, but I think that it was in his best interest yeah to leave too and like just so.

I am kind of sad that they glossed over that like year apart yeah I think maybe if we would have gotten rid of some of the chunk in the middle of like her this is a very sensitive book, obviously with like rape and like all the things, but her like attempting suicide because of her sister, like yeah, I'm trying to say this delicately it's interesting to figure out what that that was a trigger for her and not everything else that happened yeah and that's why I don't like her sister.

What's because of that? But uh, I think that's about like, not really, I don't think I'll. There's nothing that I think. I'm glad that I read it and now I understand. But then I think about all the feedback that people said about it and I'm just like I don't see that and I think about why they liked it. And, oh my gosh, this was so da, da, da, da-da-da-da, and it was great. And here's you know. Whatever they were, I don't know.

Yeah, because I've been recommended this book quite a few times and I'm like maybe I'm desensitized to some of this stuff, but I'm just like I'm sorry. Dead Soldiers versus Taylors was way worse than this was way worse than this.

Oh my gosh, I was legitimately just thinking that same thought, well, and I feel like okay, so I feel like still beating was a more realistic depiction of, like, what would really happen in life if someone were to go through something like this dead soldiers and fuck what is it? Taylor's?

whatever taylor's yeah yeah, that like she had a decade of trauma and like so much not brainwashing necessarily, but like indoctrination into this gang, criminal organization, whatever that her father ran and then to go through the assault that she went through when she was captured in front of the guys, like, and then for her to basically like become free and be like all right, cool, we're all free, we're all gonna go live happily ever after, I feel like it's very unrealistic well, remember they don't need therapy in the fictional world, okay okay, tell that to nesta I mean I don't even think she needed.

I mean she kind of just took all her anger out with the mask and everything on everybody, um, but okay, I what you're saying is true. It was a more realistic and maybe that's why people resonated more well with it.

I mean, here's my thing, like I would much rather read something that like, if I'm going to read a dark romance, I want to read it because at the end we're going to get a happy ever after, like you know, and granted, you kind of get that in, still beating in its own way, like you said, I in a more realistic way. But I don't read for the realism, like if I read for realism I wouldn't read about dragons with two dicks. Oh my gosh.

Yes, yes, well, you know this is very true, I agree.

Even the dark romance has an element of escapism, and if it doesn't have a satisfactory ending, then going through that trauma with the characters in my opinion isn't worth it.

I think that is the best description of this yeah for those new listeners Jenn's the smart one whatever.

no, I, my sister always says I take things way too literal. That's my problem, but it does make for good discussions on here.

It does, it does. I think I didn't realize that that was what I was trying to say, and you said it just beautifully. It's too realistic and there's nothing wrong with that, right.

Absolutely. There's nothing wrong with that, that know Right.

Absolutely there's nothing wrong with that. That's just not what we want to read.

Yeah, yeah, well, and and I mean not to go totally off topic here but I just finished a book the one I was telling you about yesterday, the Teacher by Frida McFadden, and the reason I love her books is they're psychological thrillers.

There's always like a really cool twist that when you pay attention you can normally pick out, and I love, love her books. I've binged like I think I've read six or seven so far this year, but there was a very real element of grooming and statutory rape and like I struggled with it Because with our dark romance stuff, like I guess you kind of go into it knowing shit's going to go down, like you know it's dark romance, you have a full trigger warning, you have a full trigger list, the whole nines and there wasn't any of that for this book when I started it. And it was, it was too way too real for me to like disengage and just read the story. So I'm, yeah, I just I would prefer to read things that you know bad stuff can happen, but don't make it real, don't make it realistic.

Yeah, I don't. That's a good point, because some of those times when you get those scenes or those feelings like it pulls you out of the story and that's the worst thing that can happen is if you get pulled out of a story yep I'm trying to think if there's anything else that I think's worth talking about, but I don't think that there is yeah it's yeah I am dying for our sea of ruin.

Discussion okay, I'll put that next on my list. I was literally last night I was just like you know we've been in this book funk and as soon as I finished the last CC book I was just like, oh my gosh, I'm free, you're not. There's no like impending time limit reading right now and I think you know, because we kind of talked about this on Voxer, about you know, the timing of reading books for book clubs and stuff it just wasn't fitting and I was just like I can read anything I want right now. I got super excited and then I reread a book that I've already read like a million times well, I'm glad you're able to go back to the comfort read, but yeah, I was like you still only see a ruin okay, so I'll just see a ruin next, that'll be easy.

Uh, I think I'm gonna wait on iron flame until we read fourth wing for book tournament in two months okay, I need to.

I saw all those messages. I need to check those out. Okay, so final rating on Still Beating.

Well, do we want to do a final?

rating or a darkness first. Oh well, yeah, sorry, yeah, darkness, it's five for me.

Yeah, it has to be a five because even though she's vague, it's still on page.

Yeah, a lot.

Yeah, there's just yeah, five for sure. So for listeners, check your trigger warnings yeah from this one, spicy, I'm gonna say can we even do zero like I don't even know if that's a thing? I think this is the second book I've wanted to give a zero to. Maybe the third. Third For spicy Aren't there scenes?

Aren't there like scenes though?

I mean there's like three, I think Maybe, but like I don't know if there's, I don't think that there's spicy, so maybe a one, because I do have sex, but like.

And on page.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'm good with a one, because I don't like it's. I mean, yeah, I'm good with a one.

I mean the first time they had sex after being held hostage, like I literally it's in a bed, like that's all that I can remember, like I cannot remember and I could be making it up. It could not even be in a bed, like there's nothing that stands out about it, like they just had sex after. So I would say a one.

Okay.

And then overall rating. I'm probably going to say a two.

Yeah, I was thinking two, Two.

Because it's like eh, that's what two feels like to me, eh.

Yeah, yeah, I wasn't. I mean, I remember reading this and just being very underwhelmed Like didn't see the hype.

Yeah, okay. This is probably going to throw people for a loop. It's probably going to throw you for a loop. I don't even know if I want to say this, because it's being recorded. I get so much trash for this. But that stupid motherfucking book perfect strangers, I feel like, was way better than this one oh, for sure, yeah, agreed like because listen, because without the like, honestly, without the psychological part or not the psychological, no, psychological, for sure

yeah, yeah, without that, without her being in a you know psych unit, if they had taken that entire piece out of perfect strangers and done the rest, like where it's meta, I would have loved it. I would have loved it. Like I would have been so cool having the story end with them in france and then she's walking into her editor's office like cool twist. It's a book within a book. We still have this really badass story. You still get these really badass characters without this like ridiculously tragic storyline.

So I, I completely agree okay, I thought you were gonna harp on me on that no, because because we both loved the first 70% of that book. Oh, absolutely.

Like, up until that point it was 100% a five-star book, yep, so no, I completely agree.

Have you read anything else by Jennifer Hartman?

Mm-mm.

I think she has a couple other things that people have raved about too. Yeah, be sure, audience, you you know, check the trigger warnings before you read this book. It does have some sensitive material, sensitive material, sensitive triggers, right, sensitive material yeah all right listeners.

Thank you so much for joining on this episode of the bones of the story podcast. If you've read still beating, where does the darkness rate with you?

Thank you for joining us on the journey into the shadows of love, where dark romance stories come to life.

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Until then, embrace the darkness and let the stories continue to stir your deepest desires.

This is Mistie and Jenn signing off from Bones of the Story.

Transcribed by https://podium.page