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In this episode of "A Changed Mind" our host David Bayer, delves into the transformative power of letting go of the "how" when pursuing our dreams. Drawing from personal experiences and historical examples, he challenges the common misconception that we need to figure out every step of our journey.
David emphasizes the importance of living in the vision and allowing the plan to unfold naturally, citing instances from his own life and figures like the Wright brothers. He introduces a simple process for manifesting desires and warns against the pitfalls of obsessing over problems.
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Available on Amazon: A Changed Mind: Go Beyond Self Awareness, Rewire Your Brain & Reengineer Your Reality
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What We Explored This Episode
02:33 Underground Railroad: Vision without a plan
08:07 Renewing your mind transforms tomorrow
13:42 Personal story: Manifesting $60,000
16:44 Allow desires to materialize
Memorable Quotes
"Stop trying to figure out the how. More dreams are laying in the graveyard as a byproduct of literally just one thing, and that's that people think they need to know how they're going to create something."
"Your current circumstance and situation is old news. You've created today based on thoughts and beliefs and vision that you had yesterday and for weeks before and months before and years before. Today's already happened. But you can transform your tomorrow by changing your thinking today."
"The how becomes a natural byproduct of non-resistance. Your job is to not figure out the how. The how is left to a power greater than you. You'll participate in the plan, but you don't have thoughts and ideas as a result of trying to figure out the plan."
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Transcripts
I mean, you think about what the Wright brothers must have been up against. There was no flying technology at that time that was a engine powered. And yet they had a vision. And through trial and error they were able to literally bring a miracle into the world. Thomas Edison, same thing with the light bulb. Ten thousand experiments later, he could look backwards and go, well, this is how I created what I created. But he didn't know the how when he started. You look at the Revolutionary war, it was 50 some odd men and the powerful woman who stood behind them that had a vision for something greater. A place where there could be civil liberties and freedom of speech and freedom of religion, freedom of expression. It was an idea. And so that idea materialized into a plan which ended up being the Revolutionary War. And you even study what happened during the revolution where. I love this book called Washington A Life by Ron Chernow. It's like miracle after miracle after miracle unfolded in order to produce the result, but nothing that could have been predicted. And so what I'm suggesting here is that you need to start dreaming big and not worrying about the how. I'm encouraging you to start asking for change in your life and really just deciding that there will be change in your life and it's just a matter of time before your reality catches up with that change without needing to know the how and without being restricted by your current circumstance or situation. Your current circumstance and situation is old news. You've created today based on thoughts and beliefs and vision that you had yesterday and for weeks before and months before and years before. Today's already happened. But you can transform your tomorrow or your next week or your next month or your next year by changing your thinking today. That's why in Romans it said, be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. And so we end up limiting our possibilities by thinking that we need to know the how around whatever change we want to create. Maybe you've been stuck in a chronic health condition. You've gone from doctor to doctor to doctor. And so you're trying to figure out how to be well rather than just deciding that you're going to be well and living in the imagination and the vision of that wellness. Same thing with financial insecurity, Same thing with growing your business when we move into the how, to quickly can devastate the materialization of our vision. So what's really important to understand if you want to achieve your full potential, if you want to create beauty and prosperity and peace and joy and abundance in your life, is that you don't need to know the how. So I want you to set that aside right now. I want you to think about one thing that you want right now and don't worry about the how. The how becomes a natural byproduct of non resistance. Neville Goddard, one of the great mystical teachers, talked about this. He said you should live your life assuming the wish fulfilled. But you can't assume the wish fulfilled. You can't assume that the desire that you have will materialize into your life. If you think that part of your job is to figure out the how, your job is to not figure out the how, you say, well, Dave, that doesn't make any sense. I mean, if I look at anything that's ever been created of any kind of meaning or value in the world, there's a how. I'm not suggesting that a how will not occur, a how will unfold, but not because you figured it. The how is left to a power greater than you. Now you'll participate in that how. You'll participate in the plan. You'll have thoughts and you'll have ideas and you'll take action on them. But you don't have thoughts and ideas as a result of trying to figure out the plan or thinking you need to figure out the plan. You have thoughts and ideas that you'll take action on that you'll look back on and go, wow, that was part of how this thing unfolded by being a non resistance. And one of the greatest forms of resistance is actually this misunderstanding that you're supposed to figure out the how. There's a great plan at work here. I like how Eisenhower said planning is essential, but plans are useless. There's a great plan here that's actually unfolding building, which is the plan of your higher power. It's God's plan and you will be a part of it. But it's not your job, it's not your responsibility to figure out the how. I've told the story that Carol and I had decided that for our first event we were going to have over 300 people. And we were way short of that about two weeks before the event. And so I'm in Atlanta giving a presentation to 15 business owners that I was invited to by a friend of mine who really loved my work. And was part of a business networking group. And after I gave that presentation, I got back on my flight and my phone happened to ring. My dad was calling me. I was actually sitting in a seat I wasn't even supposed to be sitting in because when I was going to get on the airplane, I'm really tall. I'm like 6 foot 7. I joked with the person who was taking the tickets because I was in coach. I said, you know, they should really upgrade people based on height. Because I saw that I was like number four on the upgrade list. But there was only one seat available. And the guy thought it was really funny. He goes, don't tell anybody. And he upgraded me. So I'm sitting in a seat I'm not even supposed to be sitting in. My dad calls me. Not a thing that I did. I start explaining to him the presentation that I just gave, which is around the concepts that I'm sharing with you. And the guy sitting next to me is overhearing the conversation. When I get off the phone with my dad, the guy goes, wow, that was pretty mind blowing.
Like everything that you're talking, talking about right here, it's like next generational personal growth. He said, what are you doing this weekend? I said, well, I'm just flying back to Orlando. That's where I live. I have a big event coming up in two weeks there. I don't have any plans, I'm just prepping for my event. He goes, well, you have plans now. I'm bringing in 800 financial advisors to a conference that I'm running and you're going to come on Sunday and I'm going to give you an hour on stage to share with everybody exactly what you just shared with your dad. We were about 60 tickets short of our 300 person goal. I went and spoke at that event. He let me sell tickets. 60 people ran to the back of the room. We hit our goal. I could have never designed the how. And so when you think the how is your responsibility, all this energy that could be being directed towards things you can control, start to go into things you can't control. In other words, live in the vision, live in the decision. Know that you will be a part of the how, you will receive your part of the how and the action that you should take. But your job is not to figure out the how. You're spending way too much time trying to figure out the how. And as a result of that, it's frustrating you. It's moving you into what I would call a primal state. It's moving you into frustration, fear. Why isn't it happening quick enough? It's not happening quick enough because you're not letting go of the reins, because you think your job is to figure out the how. And it's not. The how already exists. It will make its way to you and through you when you let go of it. And so when you think you need to know the how, what do you do? Well, you start to live in desperation for a little while. It might be enthusiastic, but if you're living in, for example, not as much financial abundance and prosperity as you want, you might feel trapped. You think you need to figure out the how. How do you start making more money? How do you create more prosperity into your life? You look around and you go, well, I have a career. There's really no way out. I mean, there's only so much I can get in terms of my raise. I have my monthly cost of living now. There's not as much coming in as there is going out. I've got this credit card debt. And you're trying to figure out the how. What I'm suggesting is you just decide, and you decide in the space of knowing the how is not your responsibility. You decide in the space of knowing that there is a how. It will be miraculous as it shows up and unfolds. It will involve hunches and intuition and thoughts and ideas that you will pursue, probably not even realizing that they're part of the plan. When you pursue them, it will include the coordination and synchronization of other people and their ideas and the activation of external resources that will meet you in the form of rendezvous or synchronicities. And then you'll produce the result, and you'll look back and go, oh, my God. That's how I produced the result. I played a game really early on as I was starting to realize all of this. Where I had a job, I'd saved up a little bit of money, about $20,000. I had a bunch of credit card debt. I had two homes in foreclosure. And I made a decision. I created a vision of living in financial abundance. And that vision was articulated in, I'm going to generate $60,000 by the end of the year. I don't need to know how. It's not even going to come from my career. And through a series of synchronicities, I ended up helping a friend. He invited me to a lunch to meet another buddy of his. During that lunch, I shared some stories about my alcohol recovery. This guy had been a heavy Drinker, the mutual friend. The guy quit drinking. Thirty days later, he sends me an email. Hey, I just want to thank you. That conversation was really inspirational. I go down to his offices, and he's getting pitched by a couple of young guys around a business opportunity. And it happened to be in my area of expertise. And so then he and I went to lunch and he said, what'd you think about that investment opportunity? I said, well, it's really interesting. I think it's a great opportunity. He called me back that night and he said, hey, for $20,000, I'll let you invest in this business. I've just negotiated to buy half of it, and you can have half of my half. It was all the money I had, and it was scary as shit. But I invested to $20,000. And nine months later, the company exited. And I got my $20,000 back and an additional $60,000. It was literally December 27th of that year, and I had made a decision by the end of the year. I didn't know how, but I was going to generate an additional $60,000 in revenue. And now you could sit there and go, yeah, but you had $20,000 in cash to invest, Dave, I don't have that 20,000. I'm saying there's no restriction here on what's possible. That's just my story. Don't now use my story to create a limitation on your story. What I'm saying is you can accomplish any outcome, regardless of how big it is, regardless of how long it's been that you've been struggling or have had the absence of this outcome that you want, and regardless of any limitation that you're experiencing right now. So the beautiful thing is, is that when you live in the vision, miracles unfold. Now the tendency is for us to focus on the problem. The problem is I've had this health and chronic condition for a long time. The problem is I don't have enough money in my bank account. The problem is I've got this vision. I'm going to meet a beautiful Colombian woman and make her my wife. But there's no good women out there. I have the evidence. I've been on date after date after date, person after person after person. That wasn't the right fit. And so what do is we start to become consumed by the problem. The mind actually thinks that by getting closer to the problem and suffocating the problem, that will solve it. But that's not what happens. All we get is more of the frequency of the problem. So you start attracting more Circumstances and situations that produce financial insecurity. Your symptoms increase around your chronic health condition. Or you go to more and more doctors and whatever they prescribe doesn't work. You go on more and more dates, and it's more and more of the same people. Einstein said you can't solve a problem with the same frequency or energy that created it. And so the challenge here is that the mind wants to suffocate the problem, thinking that that's how we overcome it. When really what you need to do is step away from the problem. So there's a really cool, simple process that I've been living by that I want to share with you, which is, number one, have the desire. I want you to think about one thing right now that you want. What is it you want? Could be more spiritual connection. Maybe it's to feel calm and peace rather than anxiety. Maybe it's to feel hope and excitement rather than depression. Maybe it's to resolve the friction in your relationship with your significant other. Maybe it's to be able to have more emotional bandwidth between the job and the kids and everything else. Maybe you want to know what your purpose is in life or what type of business you should start. Maybe you want to grow your business. Maybe you want your marketing campaigns to work. Maybe you want your team to be more effective in their execution. Doesn't matter what it is. What do you want? That's the desire. Hold the desire. And now the key here is to allow the desire to materialize. And so what do we need to do? Number one, we need to know that the how is not our responsibility. If you start moving into the how, you'll notice you'll move into a contraction. You'll move into what is referred to as a sympathetic state of the nervous system. Fight or flight. That's the figuring it out phase. There will be a time soon, soon as you don't try to figure it out, that thoughts and ideas will occur for you. Those will be inspired thoughts and ideas, and you pursue those. A lot of times they'll have nothing to do with the thing that you want. The inspiration for me to start driving two hours a week to Sarasota, Florida, was excitement around healing my shoulder. It produced the result. That was an even bigger desire of mine, which was to meet the woman of my dreams. So you basically just go live your life and don't worry about the thing that you've asked for. It's in the process of materializing. Don't check in on it too quickly. I tell my coaching clients I use this example, I said, the way that we treat life or God or our desires or the field is like, we place an order and then we check in on it too quickly. It's like you and I sitting in a restaurant, and you order a pastrami sandwich, and before the server can even leave the table, you're like, excuse me, is that pastrami sandwich coming? And they're like, yes, I just have to take it to the back. I have to place the order. The short order of cook needs to put it together. They need to prep the food and bring it back out, and they're halfway going back to the kitchen. Excuse me, miss. Excuse me, sir, Is that pastrami sandwich coming anytime soon? They're like, yes, but I have to go back here and place the order. Like, let me do my thing. Thing. As they get even closer to the kitchen, you say, hey, it's been about 10 seconds. I'm concerned that this pastrami sandwich may not be coming. It's like, you'd look like a crazy person. But that's the way that we treat our desires. That's the way that we function when we're wanting to get away from our problems. We spend so much time with the problem, and we spend little time allowing the solution to show up. So just know that along the way, there may be challenges. There may be challenges you're experiencing right now. What I'm saying is, pay them no attention. Make them not matter. When you make them not matter, they stop becoming matter. They stop operating in physics. They stop becoming real. One of my mentors told me something so wise one time. She said, what you make matter becomes matter. And she was combining this idea of language and focus with physics. She's like, what you put your attention towards will go from vibration to physical. Will go from an idea into reality. So where are you putting your attention? What do you make matter? And what I'm encouraging you to do is make your dreams matter. But then be relaxed about that. Make relaxation matter. Make enjoying your life matter. Knowing the how is not your responsibility and that the how will unfold matter, make those things matter versus the limitation versus nobody's done it before versus all the reasons you have to continue to maintain the status quo of your life. So much is possible for you right now. And I know that you've got this burning desire to create more in your life, to be more in your life, to do more in your life. And that is your future calling you forward. That's what those desires are. And activate those desires, live in those desires. Be a dreamer like Walt Disney, like the Wright Brothers, like Harriet Tubman. Have a dream for something greater. But just know that you got a specific role in all of this. And your role is to wait and receive the how. Not to figure it out. Not to hustle and grind, not to come up with the perfect plan or need to execute on it perfectly. Because the key here is to have desires and be in non resistance. And one of the biggest forms of resistance is the misunderstanding that you think you need to know the how before you can just relax and live in the anticipation of your dreams being realized. So thanks for listening to me today. Thanks for being here with me today. Thanks for allowing me to share. We're living in my dream right now, which is being here with you. And if you love this episode, do me a favor, share it with somebody who needs to hear it. Number one, if you're on the audio platforms and you haven't yet subscribed, subscribe and leave me a rating or review. I love those. And if you're on YouTube, do me a favor. Subscribe and leave me a question. Leave me a comment. Let me know, like what you're picking up from what I'm laying down. This is just what I think. I know you're learning a lot in your own journey. You may have some challenges that seem very, very real. Let's have the conversation. Leave me a comment. And we're on this journey together, so I love you very much. I hope you love this episode as much as I love sharing it with you and I will see you in the next one. Hey, it's David. One more thing. If you want to go even deeper on everything we've talked about on today's episode, don't forget to jump over to www.DavidBear.com. you can find the link in the show notes and subscribe to our newsletter. A couple of times a week, I'm going to be sending you the latest episodes that we've released, along with additional free trainings. You'll get immediate access to my free Mind Hack ebook and go even deeper into all the tools, the technology, the frameworks that have helped tens of thousands of people establish a changed mind. Don't forget to jump on over to the site and I will see you in the next episode.
