Back to school season is upon us, and oh boy, are the feelings mixed! Haystack kicks things off with a hilarious dive into a recent poll that asked folks how they felt about returning to school as kids. Spoiler alert: 14% were pumped, while 16% were straight-up bummed. But hold on, parents are feeling a whole different vibe! Over half are high-fiving with joy at their kids heading back to school, though some are also sweating bullets over school-related stress. From bullying to teacher shortages, the parental anxiety is real! And just when you thought it couldn't get more entertaining, Haystack serves up the 'Morning 6-Pack'—a list of the top six people who are even sadder about back-to-school than the kids. From the poor librarian explaining books to a confused little Timmy to the janitor dealing with a stomach flu incident, the laughs just keep coming!
Takeaways:
Back to school season has parents feeling all kinds of emotions, mostly happy!
Polls show that kids are mixed about school, but parents are just eager to get some peace.
Turns out, librarians are the unsung heroes dealing with confused kids and their book questions.
The top 6 people sadder about school than kids? Yeah, it’s the lunch lady and the janitor!
Parents worry about school issues like bullying and funding, but kids just want recess!
Haystack drops some hilarious bits about school struggles that’ll have you rolling with laughter!
Transcripts
Speaker A:
Good morning, it's Haystack.
Speaker B:
It's back to school time.
Speaker A:
And a poll of a thousand adults asked how they felt about going back to school when they were kids.
Speaker A:
And the results?
Speaker A:
About 14% were really happy and 16% were really sad.
Speaker A:
A fourth were indifferent and the rest were just generally kind of happy or just kind of sad.
Speaker A:
So it was a pretty even spread with only 14 and 16% on the very happy or unhappy range.
Speaker A:
Then they asked parents with school age children how they felt about their kids going back to school.
Speaker A:
And over half are happy their kids are going back to school, including a fourth that say they're very happy.
Speaker A:
22% said they're sad and 23% said indifferent.
Speaker A:
Now, unfortunately, the ones who are sad about their children going back to school is because they're stressed over school related concerns.
Speaker A:
In the poll, the most common concerns that parents have are bullying, not meeting learning objectives, violence, depression and anxiety, teacher shortages, funding shortages, and quote, the banning of books.
Speaker A:
Close quote.
Speaker A:
Huh.
Speaker A:
Well, again, 16% of people said they were very sad to go back to school when they were kids.
Speaker A:
They got me to thinking.
Speaker A:
I'm sure that, you know, I know a lot of kids are sad to be going back to school, but I'm sure there are other people who are even sadder about going back to school than the kids are.
Speaker B:
Best way to start your day.
Speaker B:
These six jokes he's about to say.
Speaker B:
Listen up for old Haystack to crack open the morning six pack.
Speaker B:
Yeah, this is gonna be the six people.
Speaker B:
The top six people who are sadder about going back to school than your kid is.
Speaker A:
Number six, you, your kid's librarian who's got a once, once again, explain to little Timmy what a book is.
Speaker A:
I don't know why I picked little Timmy.
Speaker A:
It's gonna be Timmy and Sally.
Speaker A:
Don't be offended.
Speaker A:
Those are names at random.
Speaker B:
Number five, your kid's lunch lady who has to listen to Sally make fun of her mustache.
Speaker B:
Number four, your kid's crossing guard who saves little Timmy from getting leveled by a bus twice a day.
Speaker B:
Cause he never looks up from his stinking.
Speaker B:
Number three, your kid's principal, who has.
Speaker A:
To listen to you complain that little.
Speaker B:
Sally's not in honors classes even though Sally's an idiot.
Speaker B:
Number two, your kid's PE Coach who has to watch Timmy Whee.
Speaker B:
Stumble and crawl around the track and then pretend it's a lap.
Speaker B:
These are the top six people who are sadder about going back to school than your kids.
Speaker B:
The number one person sadder about being back to school than your kids.
Speaker A:
Your kid's janitor who has to sprinkle sawdust on his vomit after you knowingly send him to school with a stomach flu because you needed a break.
