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What To Do With Your Child And World Threats
Episode 3423rd March 2022 • The 6570 Family Project • Nellie Harden
00:00:00 00:26:42

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The threats to our world are real and the conversations your kids are having in the school cafeterias, on text chains, at athletic games are real too.

There is real fear, real instability and real questions stirring in them and it can be very hard to figure out how to parent and guide during these times.

On this episode I will go through a checklist of 5 things you can do to make sure you are staying on course to help your child and family through this and other world events.

Be sure to come and take notes!

About the Host:

Nellie Harden is a wife of 20+ years, mom to 4 teen/tween daughters, dreamer, adventurer, servant, multipreneur, forever student, and a devoted teacher, but her ride-or-die passion is her work as a Family Life Coach & Mentor. 

Coming from a career background in marine mammal sciences, behavioral work, and a host of big life experiences, both great and not some not so great, she decided that designing a life of purpose and freedom was how she and her husband, along with their 4 daughters, wanted to live. 

Her work and passions exist in the realms of family and parent mentorship because she believes that a family filled with creativity, fun, laughter, challenge, adventure, problem-solving, hugs, good food, and learning can not only change a person’s life but is the best chance at positively changing the world. 

She helps families build Self-Led Discipline™ & Leadership Into their homes, sets their children up for a wildly successful life on their terms, and elevates the family experience with big joy, palpable peace, and everyday growth!

With a lifelong passion and curiosity in thought, choice, behavior, and growth she has found incredible joy in helping families shift perspective, find answers, and a path forward.

 

(Nellie has been coaching families for over 10 years and has degrees in Biology, Animal Behavior and Psychology. ) 

 

LINKS:

Family Success Vault- https://www.nellieharden.com/vault

Website- https://www.nellieharden.com

Online Community- https://www.facebook.com/groups/the6570project

Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/nellieharden/   

Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/nellie.harden/

 

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Transcripts

Nellie Harden:

Hello and welcome to the 6570 family project

Nellie Harden:

podcast. If you are a parent of a tween teen or somewhere on the

Nellie Harden:

way, this is exactly the place for you. This is the playground

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for parents who want to raise their kids with intention,

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strength and joy. Come in here all the discussions, get all the

Nellie Harden:

tactics and have lots of laughs along the way, we will dive into

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the real challenges in raising kids today how to show up as

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parents and teach your kids how to show up as members of the

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family and individuals of the world. My name is Mellie Hardin,

Nellie Harden:

big city girl turn small town sipping iced tea on the front

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porch mama, who loves igniting transformation in the hearts and

Nellie Harden:

minds of families by helping them build self love, discipline

Nellie Harden:

and leadership that elevates the family experience, and sets the

Nellie Harden:

kids up with a rock solid foundation, they can launch

Nellie Harden:

their life on all before they ever leave home. This is the

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6570 family project. Let's go

Nellie Harden:

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the 6570 family

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project podcast where we are putting aside the power

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struggles and finding a path to lead our young women and young

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men toward the confidence, wisdom and respect that they

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need in order to prepare them for the world. And today we're

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gonna be talking about kind of a sensitive subject. So prepare.

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And we're dealing with a sensitive time in history right

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now. And I am not one to shy away from what's really

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happening. And I know this can make some people uncomfortable,

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and some people don't want to talk about it out of sight out

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of mind. But the reality is that it is happening right now. And

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it is everywhere splashed across every social, every news, every

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newspaper, and across many cafeterias and lunch rooms and

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sports complexes and things across the world right now. So I

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thought it was really important to have a conversation about it

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today. And of course, I'm talking about what is happening

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with Russia and Ukraine. Now I am recording this about a week

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and a half earlier than you are then it is being released. So I

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am quite aware that whatever I say today, as far as what what's

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actually happening happening in the news could be different this

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afternoon, let alone in a week and a half from now. But what

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I'm going to share with you today, it will it will

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definitely be useful missing my words here, it'll definitely be

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useful no matter what. So just listen, and I'm going to give

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you five points today that you definitely want to just kind of

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put into your mind as far as how to deal with this with your

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family and your kids. So the world's always been threatened.

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Right? And but right now it's being threatened in a bigger way

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than it is typically threatened. I mean, we we here in history,

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and there's always been wars, there's always been, you know,

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disarray and dismay across all the borders and what have you

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since literally the beginning of recorded history. This has been

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happening, but right now it's just bigger and why is it

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bigger? Well, there is bigger forces that play there's bigger

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weapons at play, there's bigger results at play. There's bigger

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consequences, right? And so it's when I was little Did anyone

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else ever read? Dr. Seuss is the butter battle book. Right? And

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this is what it kind of reminds me up right and it's it's the

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town on one side that does their butter on the upside of the

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toast and the town on the other side does the butter on the

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bottom side of the toast totally inane thing to fight about but

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they are fighting about it. And so it starts off with a little

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like, you know, water pistol or something like that. And by the

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end of the book, it is this huge monstrous weapon that they have

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both, you know, constructed on either side. And I feel like in

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some way we're somewhere in the butter battle book right? Not to

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say that the reason that we're doing it is as inane as butter

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on the upside or the downside, but as far as wars over time

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over since the beginning of recorded history, we are

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somewhere in the years is bigger, mine is bigger, yours is

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bigger, mine is bigger, and this this gameplay that we have going

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on so I have been teaching the history of science which

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coincides with the history of the world over the past 100 I'm

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sorry, the history of world wars, right history of science

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definitely goes hand in hand with the history of world wars

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over the last 100 years. And the fact is, it's an ongoing story.

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Right? It's just that sometimes there's fighting and sometimes

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there's not. And peace is a very borrowed pieces always on

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borrowed time, right. But it's this ongoing story. And it's

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just really interesting, because we just finished reading some

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about World War Two with my kids the other day, and they were the

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ones that were like, Isn't doesn't this have to do with

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some stuff that's going on now? I'm like, Yeah, does. And so let

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me just say, right off the bat, I am not a conspiracy theorist.

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I am not a catastrophist. I am not a super right or super left

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person. What I am, though is I am an observer. And I am a

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researcher, and I am a realist. And the fact is, the world is

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being threatened right now that that is no exaggeration or lie,

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things change daily. And we are trying to just keep up and pray

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and prepare as best as possible as people. And as parents. That

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was a whole lot of peace in there. But it is very true. So

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let me give you a small glimpse of a timeline in here because it

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escalated really quick. And I'm not talking about a timeline for

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what was happening. I'm talking about a timeline as far as what

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was happening in our children's heads and conversations. So 224,

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right, February 24. That's the big headline that's splashed

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across the news and across people's mouths and

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conversations that day, Russia invaded Ukraine, right? To 24.

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Well, on to 25 talks at the high school were ablaze with talks of

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a draft. When is the draft going to come? Well, I wonder what my

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number is going to be? Are women going to be included in the

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draft this time? Of course they will, because of all the, you

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know, equal rights between men and women. So we have to

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prepare, we need to go. That is the conversation happening in

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the cafeteria, right? To 26. Talks about atomic wars and the

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end of civilization are being reflected in conversations and

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texting, in more cafeteria, right? And across social media

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outlets and things like that for kids, for kids. Massive

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catastrophizing, right? And then it is a whole pattern. It's been

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a whole pattern since then, as far as what's going to happen,

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when's it going to happen? Right? What's going to happen?

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When's it going to happen, which means and there's been more

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news, but in the whole pattern comes a lot more imagination

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coming from the kids, and a lot more stories that are coming

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from the kids. So even if they are not on social media, or

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watching the news stories that are being told, you're gonna get

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things like I had a kid, a young woman come up to me at youth,

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where I serve every single week. And she was like, did you hear

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that moms and babies were blown up. I was like, Oh, wow. Okay,

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so we have to have this, you know, we're going to have this

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conversation right now, it really wasn't the time for it.

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But we are going to have that conversation right now. Because

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this young woman was going around and talking to a bunch of

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different people about it. And I was like, Okay, we need to, you

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know, sit down and talk about this, she's obviously having a

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lot of feelings about this. She wants to be the one to tell

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people about this. And so we need to, to have that in here.

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Because everyone in there is coming from a different

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perspective, different home, different ideals, different ways

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that they communicate with their kids. And so this is what I'm

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talking about. Even if you don't think it's a threat, or even if

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you want to put it in, you know, in a separate envelope and shut

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it and put it away because you're dealing with other things

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at home and you don't want to think about it in your in the

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mentality, there's nothing I can do about it. Therefore, I will

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not spend time thinking about it. I will not spend my emotions

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worrying about it. And I'm just going to put it over there. If

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you have kids, I mean, a three of mine are homeschooled, right?

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And they're still having these conversations with friends. And

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so I'm going to go through with you five things that you can do

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right now as this is escalating, or this is hopefully de

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escalating by the time you're listening to this but with

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anything, any of this big world news, these history making

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events. I want you to keep these five things in mind. Okay, so

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number one, don't sweep it under the rug. Right? This is a real

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event. These are real people's lives over there. They need real

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help. And this is history in the making. So when we create this

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us and them mentality or perspective, when they're when

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they're young, it persists. Right? And they get this idea of

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That's not my problem. It's just one of the greatest excuses of

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all time, right? This is how we have people that have so much,

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you know, income, yet we have starving people in the world.

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And I'm not saying that you need to give everything off your back

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in order to help. But I've seen this on big scales and on small

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scales. That's their problem. I don't have to deal with it. I

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grew up in the suburbs of Detroit, in Michigan, in the

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United States of America, Detroit, especially back then,

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they've really done a lot of beautiful work now, in order to

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reconstruct and rebuild their communities. But back then,

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Detroit was not a place that you wanted to go right in the early

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and mid 80s. And it was living in the suburbs. I probably

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lived, I don't know, maybe say 45 minutes out, right, right

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down Woodward, if any of you Michiganders that are listening,

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and so I remember back then, oh, that's a Detroit problem. That's

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a Detroit problem. I was living in the suburbs of Detroit, I was

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45 minutes away. And I it was never a thought to me, oh, let's

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go down and see what we can do and help. Because it was very

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much in us and them in our communities that we were in up

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there. Right. We were in the in the quote unquote, safe part.

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And they were right. The they they were Detroit. And so

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there's this separation between them. And my point being that if

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you create this, US them when they're young, they're going to

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have to take a lot of work later on in order to break through

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that. And it's not going to be easy. It's not going to be easy.

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As you remember the good Samaritan story, right? I am a

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Christian, personally. And in the Bible, there's that great

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story about the Good Samaritan. And so there is someone that is

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beat up on the side of the road. And these people are passing,

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and they're just looking down. They're like, Oh, that really

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stinks for him. Right? And they just move on. These are people

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from his own community. People that were supposedly religious

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leaders and things they were just looking down and saying,

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Oh, poor, you, stinks for you. Moving on, right? This is me.

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That is you. And then there was a Samaritan that came along and

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the Sumerians were not well liked people, they were kind of

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the pond scum, if you will, was the mentality of the Sumerians

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back then. But it was the Samarian that picked him up,

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helped him bandage him up, and helped heal him. Right. So

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that's where, you know, everyone has heard of good samaritan

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Samaritan's Purse, all of those things. That's where that idea

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and phrase comes from the Good Samaritan. Because it was the

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Samaritan that saw the pain in this person. And it wasn't an us

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them. It was a we. And so number one, all that to be said, number

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one is don't sweep it under under the rug and create this us

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and them mentality, right? These discussions need to happen. And

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what are you going to do in those conversations? Well, that

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number two is grow toward empathy, right? Have the

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conversations about what these people are feeling, and needing

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and experiencing and talk about times when you are and have your

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child talk about times when they have been scared or afraid so

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they can relate and connect to the story. And in these

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conversations, you're not just talking about what's happening

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over there. You're also talking about what's happening here,

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right? How are they feeling? How is your child feeling through

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all of this? Are they having any anxieties or anything like that?

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And we'll get more to that in number five, but growing toward

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empathy, is that number two, okay. Try to have them relate to

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what is going on over there. Not in a scary way. Not in a like,

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Oh, it's terrible. And you know, there. Hopefully, none of your

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kids are listening car. But you know, hopefully, you know, this

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is very scary. It's terrible. doom and gloom and terribleness.

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Right, but in a way that's genuine and they can feel and

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understand what's happening out there. Okay, so number one,

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don't sweep it under the rug. Number two, grow toward empathy

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here. Number three, don't obsess about this. Right? Don't obsess

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to the point that news is on in the house. 24/7 and the world

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seems like a catastrophe in the works all the time. Remember,

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this is their perspective, building time in their life.

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This zero to 18 especially in their their second half of

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childhood. They are building their their telescope that

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they're going to see life through for the rest of their

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life. And if they are seeing, Oh, everything is terrible,

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there's no good left in the world, there's only bad,

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everything is suffering, right, that's the lens that they're

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going to see the rest of their lives with. And we don't want

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that. I know you don't want that for them. And so don't obsess to

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the point that this is all you talk about. This is all the

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conversations that you have with your spouse or other people that

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they're overhearing or that you are being dragged into this

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emotionally and mentally and it will lead to physically as well

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because you're going to be so downtrodden in your in how

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anxiety is taking over your body. Okay, so again, don't

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sweep it under the rug, grow toward empathy. Don't obsess

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about it. Number four, is find joy in the simple every day,

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find joy, find joy in a hug, in a laugh in a flower in a walk

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any funny movie, right? We just watched, which was really good.

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The Adam project last night, so good, highly recommend. We all

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really really enjoyed it. So yeah, just enjoy. Sometimes it

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is okay, it is good to enjoy life. And if you haven't seen it

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yet, you can just search it up on Google or whatever. There is

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a little girl in Ukraine in a bomb shelter. That saying let it

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go in Ukrainian. For her. The people that were there, right.

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And so it was so beautiful to see this little girl, I maybe

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she was six around there. And she just got up so brave to just

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get up and sing in front of people, right? Let alone find

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that joy, the smile that swept across her face. I mean, it just

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like tattooed on my heart. It was so beautiful. And watching

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that with my kids, right? It's not just about the catastrophes.

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It's not just about the sadness, it is about people finding

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strength that they never knew they had people finding joy in

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places that were joyless before, right. And that is what we want

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to be sharing with them. Right finding joy, they can find joy,

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we can find joy. This world is a beautiful place filled with

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beautiful people. And yes, some of them. Some of some people

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hurt people. But most people are beautiful and bring joy to the

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world. And let's focus on those. Right? Let's focus on those

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let's focus on Spring is coming in my neck of the woods anyway,

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flowers are coming out. We have the spring showers that are

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starting right dancing in the rain, being totally goofy, and

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freeing that spirit and finding that joy in the simple every

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day. It doesn't have to be finding joy because I'm taking

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like we're covering it up because I'm taking you to a

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movie today. And then we're gonna go out to dinner and then

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we're going to go to an arcade and then we're going to go to

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Disney. And then we're going to do you don't have to cover it

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with this shroud of really happy, like Joy making

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machinery. There's joy out there, just step out, step out

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of your door. Just look around your home, right? I can sit here

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right now and look around and I see a sign for the, like the

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emblem of our homeschool, right, we've had so much joy in our

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homeschool over the last seven years. I have a sign over here

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that one of my daughters made she is she somehow was born. She

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was born in 2007. But it's somehow also a product of the

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80s. She's just picked it up from us. And she loves

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everything at ease. And she made a sign for us in our office that

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says Brian and Nellie to American kids just doing the

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best they can. And I don't know a more truer sign than that. But

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that brings me so much joy and it hangs right here in our

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office, right? There's joy everywhere and help bring that

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alive, right don't get stuck down in in thinking about all of

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the negative that's happening in the world bring the joy. And

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number five is the conversations you're going to have with them

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about them. Okay, and about you to be vulnerable here because if

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you open up it gives them it unlocks their jail doors in

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order for them to open up to So ask them what they're feeling

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hearing and talking about and listening to in school and then

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listen to their answers. Answer their questions. Listen again,

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right this is gonna be there's that whole we were given two

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ears and one mouth for a reason. We need to listen more than we

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speak right? As I say as I'm talking to a mic on a podcast

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but there you Go. But I listened to people all week. So it's

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okay. Um, so yes, just have the conversations with them about

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them. What are you feeling? So what do you think about what's

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going on in the world right now? Has it affected you at all? Are

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you just kind of away from it? So you don't think about it? Or

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how do you think, um, you know, does it give you any anxiety

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about that? Or are you sad at all? Do you have any fear about

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the future? Or are you good, right, just trying to open it

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up, open up and let them dive in, open up again, let them dive

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in, right. And we want to open up these doorways of

Nellie Harden:

communication, because if they're hearing a bunch of stuff

Nellie Harden:

at school, or in their text chains or word, wherever they're

Nellie Harden:

getting it from, you want the ultimate conversation to be with

Nellie Harden:

you. Right, the ultimate conversation needs to come to

Nellie Harden:

you. So you can give some grounding to what it is. So to

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repeat those five, number one, don't sweep it under the rug

Nellie Harden:

number two, grow toward empathy. Number three, do not obsess

Nellie Harden:

about it. Number four, find joy in the simple every day. And

Nellie Harden:

number five, talk to them about them and what they're feeling.

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Alright, having taught. So I've taught, let's see national world

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cultural and scientific history over the last seven years and

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two words really come to mind about this messy humanity that

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we are in messy, beautiful humanity that we are in. And

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that is that humans can be so destructive, but they can also

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be so resilient and beautiful, right? So destructive, and

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resilient are the two sides that I keep seeing, and it just goes

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back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth. And

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as the architect of the beginning of your child's life,

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you have the power and responsibility to navigate how

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the outside world is absorbed and deciphered in your child.

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And we can only do that if we have these lines of trust and

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truths that are that are connected to them. And we

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understand how to communicate with them how they take in

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information, and what they can, how they process and effectively

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deliver information as well. Right? We have to get to know

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our kids have that trust and truth. And then we can help them

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absorb and decipher what's going on in the world. Okay, you guys.

Nellie Harden:

I hope that this has been a help to you. You know what? It is

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hard. It is hard. Absolutely. There's no doubt but follow

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these five steps. And we're going to be all right, we're

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going to be alright. Okay. Next week, you guys will be back with

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another episode. And remember, just keep teaching, keep

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laughing keep loving. And above all, remember to keep showing up

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with intention within the 6570 parenthood childhood experience.

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Because they need you. All right, I'll talk to you soon,

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guys. Thank you so much for listening today. And I hope

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you're able to take something from our discussion that you can

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use to build the foundation of self love leadership in your own

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family. If you are a parent with children, 17 or younger, and

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especially those around nine and up, I would love to extend an

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invitation to you to the best club in town. The family

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architects Club is a private club where intentional parents

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go that want to love support, connect or reconnect and really

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truly help guide their kids and teach them how to self lead in

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discipline and leadership. This is an online community and the

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you are welcome to it. Parenting is a project and you are the

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architect of this one. You plan you design and oversee the

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construction of the beginning of someone else's life. And that's

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what goes into these first 6570 days. And it will be the

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foundation for the rest of their lives. So come join the club.

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You can find your invitation on the front page of my website

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Nelly hardened.com. That is ne ll ie H AR D n.com. Thank you

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again for being a part of this conversation today. And if

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something really resonated with you, or if you have a question,

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please don't hesitate to connect with me. You can find me on

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Instagram at Nelly Hardin. And lastly, if you love the

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information, please please leave a five star review and a comment

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so more and more families can be impacted by harnessing the

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strength of these ideas and tools in their own families. So

Nellie Harden:

thank you so much. Happy building you guys and I'll see

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