Hello there,

Today with me Frank Anthony from the "Let me be Frank" podcast.

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Unknown: 00:00:03

Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

Unknown: 00:00:06

experience. I'm very excited to have Frank Anthony with me

Unknown: 00:00:11

today. He is, yeah, a fellow podcaster. And a guy that I was

Unknown: 00:00:19

blessed to meet a couple of weeks ago, he invited me on to

Unknown: 00:00:23

his show. And now, yeah, I have a couple of topics that I want

Unknown: 00:00:30

to discuss with Frank, because I know he's a very authentic and

Unknown: 00:00:37

raw person. And he's not shy to, yeah, share stuff that maybe

Unknown: 00:00:45

some people might be a little bit too shy around. And, yeah,

Unknown: 00:00:51

we just have a good conversation flow. And I wanted my listeners

Unknown: 00:00:55

to get to know you a little better. Frank, you started your

Unknown: 00:01:00

podcast, May of 2020. Let me be frank, when I saw that title, I

Unknown: 00:01:08

just thought, Oh, my God. This is so cool. And you're being

Unknown: 00:01:16

very, very frank. And it's very, very refreshing show. Can you

Unknown: 00:01:24

like invite us into your world a little bit. So you are pumping

Unknown: 00:01:30

out? episodes on a regular you have interview guests, like from

Unknown: 00:01:36

all over the world? How does your life look like right now?

Unknown: 00:01:44

Well, first, I want to say hello to everyone listening. And thank

Unknown: 00:01:49

you so much for coming. For me being able to come on your show.

Unknown: 00:01:53

It's an opportunity I've been really excited about ever since

Unknown: 00:01:57

we connected and you came on to my show. So I do want to say

Unknown: 00:02:00

thank you for that, because this is awesome to be part of the

Unknown: 00:02:04

Borealis experience. But yeah, a little bit with me, well, I

Unknown: 00:02:10

guess so my life, it looks. The best way to put it, I guess, is

Unknown: 00:02:17

organized chaos. But I mean that in a good way. Because before it

Unknown: 00:02:23

used to just be chaotic and chaos, but I decided I needed

Unknown: 00:02:27

to, I needed to organize some things I need to reevaluate

Unknown: 00:02:31

certain things in my life who I was, as a human being. So as you

Unknown: 00:02:37

know, as an individual, I can be pretty, I can be very open, I

Unknown: 00:02:42

can be pretty out there I can, you know, I can try to be funny,

Unknown: 00:02:45

sarcastic, you know, all different. I also have a big

Unknown: 00:02:48

heart and I try to be kind and treat people with respect. So

Unknown: 00:02:52

yeah, my life though. It used to be kind of doing like, the

Unknown: 00:02:58

typical, like, Oh, I'm gonna, you know, go work a certain job.

Unknown: 00:03:02

And I don't love the job, but I'm going to go do it. Just Just

Unknown: 00:03:06

because I didn't really realize the freedom that life has for

Unknown: 00:03:11

us. Like, I think we, I think we are more free than we like to

Unknown: 00:03:15

believe sometimes or we treat ourselves as not being like, Oh,

Unknown: 00:03:20

I can't do this. I can't do that. Why not? You know, like,

Unknown: 00:03:23

it doesn't hurt to cry it at least. So now my life is the

Unknown: 00:03:28

podcast and working on a book. And it's things that I really

Unknown: 00:03:31

truly loved to do, compared to, like I said before going to a

Unknown: 00:03:36

job that other people definitely would love to go do it just

Unknown: 00:03:40

wasn't my passion. So now I'm actually starting last year was

Unknown: 00:03:44

the beginning of me, being able to not only accept myself as a

Unknown: 00:03:48

human being and that I'm not perfect, but yet I can still

Unknown: 00:03:51

love myself but also accepting just my environment and that I

Unknown: 00:03:57

can pay if I don't love it, I can change it. Or I can at least

Unknown: 00:04:00

try to change it and work every day on that. And I'm always

Unknown: 00:04:03

trying to develop new habits and stuff. But yes, I host a podcast

Unknown: 00:04:08

called let me be frank with Frank Anthony and I've met tons

Unknown: 00:04:12

of wonderful people like yourself Aurora around the world

Unknown: 00:04:16

that just even honestly Make me like, you know, let up Frank

Unknown: 00:04:22

makes me an even better individual than I was yesterday,

Unknown: 00:04:27

after I meet people like you and other people, regardless of

Unknown: 00:04:32

where they are in the world. There's always some sort of

Unknown: 00:04:34

lesson there's always some value that I can see in other people.

Unknown: 00:04:39

I what I like with shows like ours is we don't need to we

Unknown: 00:04:44

don't need to you know, there's so many shows that interview

Unknown: 00:04:46

celebrities because a lot of us will care about what celebrities

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are doing. But I also like to show that everyday people are

Unknown: 00:04:54

also interesting as well and that there's an interesting

Unknown: 00:04:57

things about us that we just After you know what the rock

Unknown: 00:05:02

over and discover,

Unknown: 00:05:03

hmm, very beautiful. And yeah, and with everyday people, it's

Unknown: 00:05:09

easier to relate to, right, like we can relate better to the

Unknown: 00:05:16

person next door than some Beyonce or whoever is out there

Unknown: 00:05:23

being a celebrity. And yeah, I also want to comment on your 21

Unknown: 00:05:29

little habits that you're doing right now. Because I find that

Unknown: 00:05:33

very inspiring you are out there and not only doing your podcast

Unknown: 00:05:38

inviting people and letting us learn with them together, you

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post on Facebook, very regularly. And it's it's things

Unknown: 00:05:49

that help the individual to be more positive and ever more

Unknown: 00:05:55

organized. And you empower people, you show them, hey, you

Unknown: 00:06:00

can do these little tricks, and they will lead to a more

Unknown: 00:06:04

fulfilled and let's say successful life, I really enjoy

Unknown: 00:06:12

following it. When it comes to your podcast, I can sense that

Unknown: 00:06:17

you found something that gives you to joy and that you're

Unknown: 00:06:21

really passionate about. And you also mentioned that you're

Unknown: 00:06:26

pushing through, like self doubt at times, and you become a

Unknown: 00:06:33

better human. Like you make it an intention to get better with

Unknown: 00:06:39

maybe even every episode that you push out there. And this is

Unknown: 00:06:44

also very inspiring, because I feel a lot of people have so

Unknown: 00:06:47

much potential, and then they have their self doubt and

Unknown: 00:06:52

criticism creep in. And that's what lets them be stuck in a job

Unknown: 00:06:57

that they don't want to be in. Or in a relationship that is

Unknown: 00:07:01

super toxic. So that you share this with us. You know, I last

Unknown: 00:07:09

time we talked we mentioned Joe Rogan. And when you started out,

Unknown: 00:07:12

you went back to his first episode that saw that, oh, yeah,

Unknown: 00:07:16

he was not perfect all along. He, he grew with his mission.

Unknown: 00:07:21

And this is something we have to learn to accept and know that

Unknown: 00:07:27

everybody is going through. What I would like to talk about with

Unknown: 00:07:33

you today is when it comes to relationship, and it doesn't

Unknown: 00:07:38

have to be romantic relationship only it can be friendship or

Unknown: 00:07:42

family. How did your relationships over time, evolve

Unknown: 00:07:49

or change? As soon as you started working on yourself and

Unknown: 00:07:55

feeling better with yourself? So do you remember a time back then

Unknown: 00:08:00

when you were still like, not following your passion and not

Unknown: 00:08:05

seeing a true purpose for yourself? How your relationships

Unknown: 00:08:09

were different than they are today?

Unknown: 00:08:14

Definitely, definitely, definitely, I've gone through a

Unknown: 00:08:20

few different phases in my own life. And I assume a lot of

Unknown: 00:08:24

people do. Some people don't, unfortunately, they don't learn

Unknown: 00:08:27

different ways that maybe they could communicate better, or

Unknown: 00:08:30

develop interpersonal relationships better with

Unknown: 00:08:33

others. And it's honestly become one of my own passions that I've

Unknown: 00:08:37

discovered that I love to analyze and study as well. For

Unknown: 00:08:43

me, so at the beginning years and years ago, I, I don't want

Unknown: 00:08:49

to give like any excuse for like, Oh, well, because my

Unknown: 00:08:52

environment was a certain way why I ended up being a certain

Unknown: 00:08:55

person. But I think as a child, your environment is very

Unknown: 00:08:59

important, or it does mold you in a certain way. And I love my

Unknown: 00:09:03

family. I love them to death, but their communication style

Unknown: 00:09:08

and building relationships was quite optic in the way that we

Unknown: 00:09:15

would, you know, I grew up, I grew up in an Italian family.

Unknown: 00:09:19

And you would just kind of yell at each other, you would just

Unknown: 00:09:22

yell things back and forth. And I mean, there, there were some

Unknown: 00:09:25

awful things you could say to one another. But you wouldn't

Unknown: 00:09:29

stop talking to them because they were family. So it was

Unknown: 00:09:32

almost like you in a sense, you could get away with saying, I

Unknown: 00:09:36

don't even want to give an example if it would be too

Unknown: 00:09:39

explicit. But but you have an idea like you could say

Unknown: 00:09:43

something so awful to this other family member that if you had

Unknown: 00:09:46

said that to someone outside the family, they would not not only

Unknown: 00:09:51

not want to talk to you again or block you. I mean, they could

Unknown: 00:09:54

call the police on you for certain things like it could be

Unknown: 00:09:57

so yeah, just so paradores certain actions towards one

Unknown: 00:10:01

another. That was I do love my family. And they do you know,

Unknown: 00:10:05

they mean, well, of course, we're all you know, they're all

Unknown: 00:10:08

growing, I'm growing everyone's grown. and stuff, they've

Unknown: 00:10:11

definitely gotten better over time, like myself, but that type

Unknown: 00:10:16

of environment I took out of the family environment, and I

Unknown: 00:10:20

brought it into the real world with other people. And I learned

Unknown: 00:10:25

the hard way, that that's not, that's not what I should have

Unknown: 00:10:29

done that I needed to, I thought I knew everything, when in

Unknown: 00:10:32

reality, there was still a lot I needed to learn. So I use some

Unknown: 00:10:37

of those behaviors, I would say such awful things, to either

Unknown: 00:10:41

best friends, or romantic partners, or anyone that

Unknown: 00:10:45

actually gave me the time of day, which I'm grateful for

Unknown: 00:10:51

them. And then I feel sorry for that, that they did in that

Unknown: 00:10:53

period of my life. Because I was, yeah, I just there was a

Unknown: 00:10:57

lot, I still had to learn, I would do those things. And I

Unknown: 00:11:00

lost a lot of people by certain things that I would say, if I

Unknown: 00:11:04

felt like I was hurt by something, maybe they didn't

Unknown: 00:11:08

even mean to hurt me with certain words, they said, Maybe

Unknown: 00:11:12

I just took it the wrong way, I would need to cut back five

Unknown: 00:11:16

times deeper, and say something way worse. And then obviously,

Unknown: 00:11:21

that would ignite something that's not the way to

Unknown: 00:11:23

communicate with someone, instead, I could have

Unknown: 00:11:25

communicated that, you know, I feel like, I feel like you've

Unknown: 00:11:29

hurt me in a certain way or something, it could have went a

Unknown: 00:11:32

different way. So at the beginning, it was a lot of

Unknown: 00:11:34

anger. And I think it was a lot of anger, and hurt because of

Unknown: 00:11:39

growing up what I felt from certain situations, whether they

Unknown: 00:11:42

were in school or in my family life or in life in general, then

Unknown: 00:11:48

I started to evolve a little bit, and learn about

Unknown: 00:11:52

communication and see the importance of communication in a

Unknown: 00:11:56

relationship. And the issue that with that was that during I can

Unknown: 00:12:02

think of I can definitely think of one relationship specifically

Unknown: 00:12:06

where they, they didn't really want to communicate anything.

Unknown: 00:12:11

They were almost like a brick wall. And I thought

Unknown: 00:12:14

communication was just talking at someone just saying

Unknown: 00:12:18

everything you feel, and they just have to take it. Yeah.

Unknown: 00:12:23

So and that wasn't the right way. either. I learned I learned

Unknown: 00:12:28

I can't just keep talking. Well, first of all, I can't talk at

Unknown: 00:12:32

someone you have to communicate. It's like a team, you have to

Unknown: 00:12:35

communicate with each other. Yes, a back and forth, where you

Unknown: 00:12:40

say something the other person listens, you don't just you

Unknown: 00:12:45

don't have to wait your turn to say what you want to say. You

Unknown: 00:12:47

could actually listen to what that person whether it's a

Unknown: 00:12:51

friend, family member, romantic partner, whoever it is, you need

Unknown: 00:12:55

to listen to what they're actually saying, you know,

Unknown: 00:12:57

they're giving you the gift of communication and of language

Unknown: 00:13:02

and the gift of through emotion and feeling that they're feeling

Unknown: 00:13:06

on the inside. So you could value that and listen to it, and

Unknown: 00:13:10

then respond accordingly. And also add in your own feelings.

Unknown: 00:13:14

So there's been you know, with going to school for psychology

Unknown: 00:13:17

and just certain life lessons throughout my life. I, I believe

Unknown: 00:13:21

I've learned I can still learn, of course more, but I believe

Unknown: 00:13:25

I've learned a lot so far in that sense. And I kind of gained

Unknown: 00:13:30

this passion when it comes to interpersonal relationships,

Unknown: 00:13:34

because it's so crucial whether it's for your job, or, you know,

Unknown: 00:13:39

to build a family with someone or Yeah, to have long lasting

Unknown: 00:13:44

friendships over the years.

Unknown: 00:13:47

Wow. Like it's so crazy. I mean, I haven't known you long, but

Unknown: 00:13:56

the content that you put out and the energy that I feel for me, I

Unknown: 00:14:00

would have never said that you were a poor communicator couple

Unknown: 00:14:06

years back, and it's so remarkable how far you got and

Unknown: 00:14:10

how, how much you can reflect about it. You always have to be

Unknown: 00:14:16

careful to not like feel like punish yourself too much for how

Unknown: 00:14:21

you behaved back then because your baby brain your your

Unknown: 00:14:26

youthful brain was just, yeah, like squished or marked so much

Unknown: 00:14:33

by the environment and you were able like to get yourself out of

Unknown: 00:14:37

that more toxic dynamic. And now, when you think of the

Unknown: 00:14:46

people that you might have heard and that you're maybe not in

Unknown: 00:14:50

contact anymore. Did you ever think about reconnecting and

Unknown: 00:14:57

maybe talking about this Or are they just not in your life

Unknown: 00:15:04

anymore?

Unknown: 00:15:08

it yes and no, it's a mix, it's, it really depends on the

Unknown: 00:15:12

individual. There are a few of them that I have reconnected

Unknown: 00:15:16

with. Some are friends of mine again, today, which I'm very

Unknown: 00:15:20

thankful for some. I feel like the minimum goal now, when it

Unknown: 00:15:25

comes to reconnecting with people that maybe you had a

Unknown: 00:15:29

heart of with is that you're at least civil with one another,

Unknown: 00:15:32

that there's not hatred in your heart towards the other person

Unknown: 00:15:35

or vice versa. I really don't want anyone to wait. I feel like

Unknown: 00:15:39

to waste time hating me. Yes, feel like it. Like I obviously

Unknown: 00:15:44

they have the right to feel whichever way they feel. I just

Unknown: 00:15:47

feel like it's such a waste to hate on me, because I don't I'm

Unknown: 00:15:52

not I'm not worth the energy, honestly, so that I'm not like

Unknown: 00:15:56

that, like, you can do so many better things. And, and vice

Unknown: 00:15:59

versa. I don't need to hate on certain people, because there's

Unknown: 00:16:02

different things. There's different things you can do at

Unknown: 00:16:03

that time and energy. And that was a hard lesson for me to

Unknown: 00:16:07

learn over time. But I had a train of thought I think brain

Unknown: 00:16:15

of thoughts and blues and I was on Oh, sorry, I forgot a sec. I

Unknown: 00:16:20

was in the moment. With reconnecting there are

Unknown: 00:16:27

unfortunately there are some people that we that didn't want

Unknown: 00:16:32

to talk to me again. And which they have that right to do I can

Unknown: 00:16:36

actually, I was mad at first, I'd be upset at first about it.

Unknown: 00:16:42

But then I realized they have the right to feel that way.

Unknown: 00:16:45

There was some awful thing. Like the things I said, we're pretty

Unknown: 00:16:49

awful to the sense that Yeah, they have a right to not want me

Unknown: 00:16:53

in their life. That's perfectly okay. And, and if there's and

Unknown: 00:16:57

there's certain there's a few people that I've known in my

Unknown: 00:16:59

lifetime that I don't need to hate, but I don't need to talk

Unknown: 00:17:04

to them again. Or I don't need to let them back in to my like,

Unknown: 00:17:09

bubble or in my circle.

Unknown: 00:17:11

Yeah, yeah. And sometimes that's a tough spot to be in because

Unknown: 00:17:17

you want to apologize so much and explain yourself and help

Unknown: 00:17:21

the other to like, get over it. But yeah, sometimes people don't

Unknown: 00:17:26

want to reconnect and then you got to accept it. And you have

Unknown: 00:17:29

to forgive yourself and not punish you more and, and just

Unknown: 00:17:34

move on. But I think it's beautiful and very, like

Unknown: 00:17:37

courageous to go and see, Hey, can I reconnect with you? Can I

Unknown: 00:17:43

Can we just get over this together and not live in

Unknown: 00:17:48

resentment and become bitter people? That's like, especially

Unknown: 00:17:53

in romantic relationships, I feel it's but also friendships.

Unknown: 00:17:58

It's important because there was a time where you had something

Unknown: 00:18:02

special and intimate. And yeah, it got broken up and some some

Unknown: 00:18:09

wound still hurt years later.

Unknown: 00:18:15

How is it there

Unknown: 00:18:16

was one, there was sorry, there was one specifically I do think

Unknown: 00:18:21

as someone where I, you know, I had apologized probably 3040

Unknown: 00:18:26

different times trying to like reconnect, because yeah, the

Unknown: 00:18:29

hurt being so bad, or like missing them and wanting them.

Unknown: 00:18:33

And I learned that you can't you can't force that on the other

Unknown: 00:18:38

person. If they don't, they just didn't want to reconnect in that

Unknown: 00:18:41

way. Or they felt like they had already tried enough times with

Unknown: 00:18:45

me. And yeah, and I agree with you that it's really, it's tough

Unknown: 00:18:49

to accept that or it's, or it's tough to, I used to always

Unknown: 00:18:54

believe that we needed closure, which is why I would reach out

Unknown: 00:18:57

to other people. And then actually what I learned sometime

Unknown: 00:19:00

last year, someone had given me really great advice that loader

Unknown: 00:19:06

can be found within yourself. And I remember that, like wow,

Unknown: 00:19:10

that. That's very powerful. Like it really does. It reminded me

Unknown: 00:19:15

of how powerful we all of us are as human beings. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Unknown: 00:19:22

I remember that gets the most painful situation to experience

Unknown: 00:19:27

when you feel like there's no closure and you can't reach the

Unknown: 00:19:30

other person and now you have to run around half broken for the

Unknown: 00:19:34

rest of your life and and then I got received, like similar

Unknown: 00:19:39

advice. And yeah, it frees you from that from a burden even.

Unknown: 00:19:47

And then from that mission to having to connect with that

Unknown: 00:19:51

person and gives you peace again and yeah. What would you say are

Unknown: 00:19:57

the things that you're still in Learning today or you want to

Unknown: 00:20:01

get better at when it comes to relationships, or friendships

Unknown: 00:20:06

like we're all like a process of working process. I will share

Unknown: 00:20:12

what what I feel I still need to learn. But if you want to go

Unknown: 00:20:16

first, what are the things that you feel you need to get better,

Unknown: 00:20:21

you can go first. I feel sometimes I'm still scared to

Unknown: 00:20:30

speak my truth, to experience rejection from a person that I

Unknown: 00:20:37

deeply love. Because they might not be okay with my truth. I'm a

Unknown: 00:20:46

very, like, loving and caring person. At the same time, I love

Unknown: 00:20:52

my freedom, and I love to travel and explore. And sometimes I

Unknown: 00:20:58

find it hard to communicate like to to allow my free spirit to be

Unknown: 00:21:04

present as well, because I feel in a committed relationship. You

Unknown: 00:21:09

should feel restricted. So it's also my, my view on

Unknown: 00:21:14

relationships, that they have to feel like you're handcuffed,

Unknown: 00:21:19

which is wrong. And yeah, because I think it's because I

Unknown: 00:21:26

observed with my parents and my grandparents, and maybe friends

Unknown: 00:21:30

that are married, that this is just how relationships work, you

Unknown: 00:21:35

have to give up your, your free spiritual, like, explore aside

Unknown: 00:21:42

and be in the kitchen and do the relationship duties. And that's

Unknown: 00:21:48

not good, because I restrict myself and I might be

Unknown: 00:21:52

restricting my partner as well. And in speaking my truth and my

Unknown: 00:21:56

desires, I could maybe have more fulfilling relationships. So

Unknown: 00:22:06

yeah, that's, for me the, the toughest part.

Unknown: 00:22:11

Yeah, I, I've also witnessed, from certain relationships to,

Unknown: 00:22:17

at least with romantic ones, this belief that once you get

Unknown: 00:22:21

with someone, you have to, like almost put off like your family

Unknown: 00:22:25

or your friends, like you can't talk like you can't really hang

Unknown: 00:22:27

out with your friends as much as they used to, you have to put

Unknown: 00:22:30

all your time into your partner for all your time and energy,

Unknown: 00:22:34

and almost make like romantic relationships more important

Unknown: 00:22:37

than friendships, when both types of relationships are

Unknown: 00:22:40

important. That's, that's definitely a lesson I like to

Unknown: 00:22:45

remind myself and try not to do to my friends or just other

Unknown: 00:22:48

people. In general, one thing I can think of it sounds a little,

Unknown: 00:22:54

it's gonna sound a little weird, that I think they still could

Unknown: 00:22:58

use some work on is, is he is taking my own advice. At times,

Unknown: 00:23:05

I don't always take it, I can say it to other people, but do I

Unknown: 00:23:09

always apply it and I think of for one, like one example being

Unknown: 00:23:16

I'm I am a firm believer in an aisle, and I'll preach this,

Unknown: 00:23:21

that you and your romantic partner could live your own,

Unknown: 00:23:27

like, you should obviously build a life together. But you also

Unknown: 00:23:30

still need your own separate lives. Like you go into the

Unknown: 00:23:34

relationship with different interests, different lifestyles,

Unknown: 00:23:37

and that's okay to like, still have some of your own passions

Unknown: 00:23:41

that aren't related to your partner. So you can still live

Unknown: 00:23:44

an independent life. And I I can recognize that when I sometimes

Unknown: 00:23:49

when I go into relationships, it's happened a lot, where I'm

Unknown: 00:23:53

like that the beginning. And then I start forming with them,

Unknown: 00:23:58

I start like mice, I start getting glued to the other

Unknown: 00:24:02

person, I start doing all the things that they like to do. And

Unknown: 00:24:05

I started becoming a part of their passions, and then they

Unknown: 00:24:08

start getting annoyed and kind of for good reason. Sometimes we

Unknown: 00:24:11

need space from our partners, we need to do our own thing I

Unknown: 00:24:15

stopped. For example, I love to write and I would just stop all

Unknown: 00:24:19

my writing. I didn't need to stop, but I just would because

Unknown: 00:24:22

it wasn't their interest. But it was mine and I would start

Unknown: 00:24:26

losing my own self identity. So that's something probably even

Unknown: 00:24:30

to this day that I can continue working on.

Unknown: 00:24:33

hmm yeah, that's such a good one. And I feel a lot of people

Unknown: 00:24:38

who are like compassionate and true lovers, you know. We do

Unknown: 00:24:46

that we tend to do that because we want to be close to the other

Unknown: 00:24:49

person and we also want to learn new things. We're very curious

Unknown: 00:24:54

and are like, Oh yeah, I can ride later but I want to learn

Unknown: 00:24:57

like tennis now. Or to ride a unicorn, it's, it's very tricky

Unknown: 00:25:07

because I can feel that you're also the kind of person who

Unknown: 00:25:11

would feel selfish, like you would feel selfish to tell your

Unknown: 00:25:15

new partner No, like today I'm going to write for three hours

Unknown: 00:25:19

and you can go do something else. It's it's a fine line of

Unknown: 00:25:26

not feeling guilty about it as well. And it is also the thing

Unknown: 00:25:31

that after a breakup, we have to find, again, like it makes a

Unknown: 00:25:38

breakup so much harder when you lost yourself along the way, and

Unknown: 00:25:43

you're totally glued into one person. And then the breakup

Unknown: 00:25:48

happens. And you're like, Oh, my God, who am I, I'm just existing

Unknown: 00:25:52

with my partner. And I know all these things in my mind, but

Unknown: 00:25:59

when I'm in there, when I'm passionate and caring again,

Unknown: 00:26:02

then I throw it all overboard. And it's, it's good to talk

Unknown: 00:26:07

about these things with you. Because then you can kind of

Unknown: 00:26:11

hold each other accountable. When it comes to your parents,

Unknown: 00:26:18

like you mentioned your family at the beginning, and that you

Unknown: 00:26:21

kind of grew out of toxic dynamics, but you sound like you

Unknown: 00:26:26

still have a really good relationship with them. How did

Unknown: 00:26:30

your relationship with your parents change? As you changed?

Unknown: 00:26:36

Was it difficult at first? Were they like, were you kind of

Unknown: 00:26:41

betraying us a little bit? Or did you try to, like, teach them

Unknown: 00:26:46

what you are learning and they resist it to it? Or they will

Unknown: 00:26:50

open to listen? What was your experience with your? And it

Unknown: 00:26:55

doesn't have to be parents? Excuse me? It can be like your,

Unknown: 00:26:59

your core family. Sometimes it's not necessarily the parents. But

Unknown: 00:27:04

maybe it is in your case?

Unknown: 00:27:08

That is a great question. It's also a very tough question to

Unknown: 00:27:13

answer. I don't I don't get into family too much. Even saying

Unknown: 00:27:18

what I said before was really getting was starting to get

Unknown: 00:27:21

personal, I kind of tend to avoid them on my own platform.

Unknown: 00:27:26

Okay, but I'm on your platform, I'm here. And I'm going to give

Unknown: 00:27:29

I'm going to give you the goods. So so we can start with parents.

Unknown: 00:27:37

So well. My dad, it'd be really quick, I almost have no

Unknown: 00:27:42

relationship with him. In gun, I did it. They didn't even really

Unknown: 00:27:46

know. I didn't even really know anything about them for some

Unknown: 00:27:50

time. And I've only met him once my entire life when I was 17.

Unknown: 00:27:55

The only time I ever saw him in person. There. There's a lot of

Unknown: 00:27:59

backstory with all that too. But unfortunately, you know, it just

Unknown: 00:28:04

wasn't the best dynamic for him and I to continue communicating.

Unknown: 00:28:08

And I needed to, I had to warn him that hard lesson that they

Unknown: 00:28:13

always say Blood is thicker than water. But I don't always

Unknown: 00:28:16

believe that is the case. Like I think it you have to really look

Unknown: 00:28:20

at the individual. And I'm like, just because he's my biological

Unknown: 00:28:25

father. It doesn't mean he's been my father that's actually

Unknown: 00:28:29

been there for me. So, so yeah, that that's quick. Like there's

Unknown: 00:28:34

just not really any communication and any

Unknown: 00:28:37

communication that has been there. It really just has been

Unknown: 00:28:41

wishy washy with my mom. She pretty much raised me on her

Unknown: 00:28:46

own. It also, that whole situation is very complicated,

Unknown: 00:28:50

because I love her. I love her to death. But our communication

Unknown: 00:28:54

we're so the issue is, Well, two things. One, we're very similar.

Unknown: 00:29:01

So you're going to have like that clash of people of two

Unknown: 00:29:05

people who get annoyed by the same things yet. The second

Unknown: 00:29:08

issue is we is obviously we know each other's to the point that

Unknown: 00:29:12

we know how to push each other's buttons. And once you figure out

Unknown: 00:29:16

someone's big red button, someone else's and you have that

Unknown: 00:29:20

power to push it. That's when it can get ugly at times. And we've

Unknown: 00:29:25

we've had a back and forth of being really good and then being

Unknown: 00:29:29

really bad. And today, it's better. It's getting better. I

Unknown: 00:29:34

think one thing we learned is especially maybe becoming an

Unknown: 00:29:37

adult we just couldn't live together anymore. I think that

Unknown: 00:29:40

kind of happens with a lot of parents and their kids. It's

Unknown: 00:29:43

like the kid wants to you know, be an adult now. And now be

Unknown: 00:29:48

called like the 20 something year old kid or the 36 something

Unknown: 00:29:52

year old kid. It's like they want to be able to fly out of

Unknown: 00:29:54

the nest. And my mom is very I was our only child only son, so

Unknown: 00:30:01

very, very over protective of me that took a lot of time and

Unknown: 00:30:06

communication to get through and figure and, you know, let on my

Unknown: 00:30:10

end, let her know, hey, I, I need to go out and be an adult.

Unknown: 00:30:15

And I think she knew that deep down just was afraid something

Unknown: 00:30:18

bad would happen to me or didn't want me to get her when in

Unknown: 00:30:21

reality I have to get her in order to learn. But I feel like

Unknown: 00:30:26

it just needs to happen we need to go. We can't just always have

Unknown: 00:30:30

positive experiences, bad things are going to happen. People are

Unknown: 00:30:33

going to pass away someday. P this Yeah, certain tragedies are

Unknown: 00:30:39

in stone, like weather related to like any natural disasters,

Unknown: 00:30:43

they mean like any, like anything can really happen.

Unknown: 00:30:45

That's bad that we don't have control over. So So yeah, so our

Unknown: 00:30:50

communication was very up and down. Because I felt like, I

Unknown: 00:30:55

felt like my communication was growing, and that she kinda was

Unknown: 00:30:58

more stagnant. But I also don't, I mean, she's the only one

Unknown: 00:31:02

that's going to really be able to identify what her

Unknown: 00:31:05

communication style is. I just that's something I felt with her

Unknown: 00:31:11

whenever I would talk to her that communication could be

Unknown: 00:31:14

difficult. Other other family members, I mean, yeah, I to be

Unknown: 00:31:21

like, to be honest, I am close to my family, but not close to

Unknown: 00:31:26

my family, which probably doesn't make any sense. So maybe

Unknown: 00:31:29

it makes some sense. But it's like I'm, I'm close to them in

Unknown: 00:31:35

the sense that

Unknown: 00:31:38

I've spent like, a certain amount of time with them. But

Unknown: 00:31:41

then I'm not close in the sense that we really haven't had much

Unknown: 00:31:45

communication with one another. I was one of the younger family

Unknown: 00:31:49

members. So I think I was always viewed as the one of the

Unknown: 00:31:52

children in the family. And even when I became an adult, they

Unknown: 00:31:56

still wouldn't talk to me like I was an adult, or they would hide

Unknown: 00:31:59

certain things from me in fear that like I would get hurt. So

Unknown: 00:32:03

that was something that we've been needing to work on in the

Unknown: 00:32:07

process, like, Hey, I'm an adult. Now, like, I can handle

Unknown: 00:32:10

any like, for example, when I, when I was only like 1011 years

Unknown: 00:32:16

old, my uncle was only 30 years old, and he got in a car

Unknown: 00:32:20

accident and died. So that was something that they they

Unknown: 00:32:24

actually they told me he passed. But then it like I didn't go to

Unknown: 00:32:29

the week or the funeral or I like they just never really

Unknown: 00:32:31

talked about him again. To me. It was just kind of like, they

Unknown: 00:32:35

told me that one time, and then they didn't really want me to

Unknown: 00:32:39

actually like except the death. When it's like you kind of need

Unknown: 00:32:42

to like, yeah, it's tough. As a child, it's tougher at any age,

Unknown: 00:32:47

to deal with losing a loved one. But it's like you need to, you

Unknown: 00:32:51

would have to go through that process of what is it the five

Unknown: 00:32:54

stages of grief or whatever your process is, you have to go

Unknown: 00:32:57

through that in order to so that other situations aren't nearly

Unknown: 00:33:03

as difficult. So it's not it doesn't feel life ending every

Unknown: 00:33:06

single time. Someone that So yeah, that's kind of like, I

Unknown: 00:33:12

guess that's an adjust the communication between me and and

Unknown: 00:33:16

family, I think for the most part.

Unknown: 00:33:18

Mm hmm. Wow. Yeah, that's, so it sounds like you are close, but

Unknown: 00:33:23

you're not maybe seeking approval. When you make a big

Unknown: 00:33:27

decision, like starting a podcast or writing a book, you

Unknown: 00:33:31

just do it because you know, it's what you are desiring to

Unknown: 00:33:36

do. And he will share with them along the way. But you will not

Unknown: 00:33:41

like be codependent and wanting to know that they are on board.

Unknown: 00:33:48

Did I get that right?

Unknown: 00:33:51

Yeah, I think you did, I think and I also think they knew me so

Unknown: 00:33:56

well as a child, but then never really got to know me as an

Unknown: 00:33:59

adult. Yeah. And then they're on my end, because I can't I can't

Unknown: 00:34:04

really speak how they feel about me at the end of the day, I

Unknown: 00:34:06

could assume, but I don't really know fully. But on my end, there

Unknown: 00:34:11

is some sort of, I can admit there's some sort of mistrust

Unknown: 00:34:16

with family members, that kind of that also hinders my

Unknown: 00:34:19

communication with them compared to like best friends where I

Unknown: 00:34:24

probably have a healthier level of communication.

Unknown: 00:34:27

Yeah, yeah. Wow, that sounds pretty like common that a lot of

Unknown: 00:34:34

people find like to family and their friends and they're still

Unknown: 00:34:40

connected to their family, but a little bit on a healthy

Unknown: 00:34:43

distance. And that's okay, as well. Man, we're coming to an

Unknown: 00:34:49

end to I'm looking at the clock. It's like 37 It felt like 10

Unknown: 00:34:56

minutes. I have so many more questions. Maybe we can do that

Unknown: 00:34:59

again soon. I would love you to share where people can find you.

Unknown: 00:35:05

If they got curious about you. Let me be frank podcast on all

Unknown: 00:35:11

the platforms that you can imagine your book, How far are

Unknown: 00:35:15

you into writing your book? When is it time for us to have a peek

Unknown: 00:35:23

at it?

Unknown: 00:35:26

I wish I was farther, I'm starting to get better with

Unknown: 00:35:30

frying too. The problem is, once I stopped writing, I sometimes

Unknown: 00:35:34

can't get back on the train. So I realized I gotta write a

Unknown: 00:35:37

little bit every day. Even if it's like 100 words, it's not a

Unknown: 00:35:42

whole lot. But it's something it's just getting something on

Unknown: 00:35:45

paper that I need to keep up with. Because if I go, if I go

Unknown: 00:35:49

like three or more days in a row, I'm probably not going back

Unknown: 00:35:52

to the piece or it'll be a long time. So I've so honestly, I

Unknown: 00:35:57

only have like, I don't have much of a manuscript, maybe like

Unknown: 00:36:01

30 something pages at the moment, but my goal was to try

Unknown: 00:36:05

to finish the manuscript this year. But we'll see I really,

Unknown: 00:36:09

that's a minimum goal. I want to try to do more. So we'll see.

Unknown: 00:36:14

Keep everyone updated on that. Cool then my social medias I'll

Unknown: 00:36:18

try to keep it kind of simple. explains I go by two different

Unknown: 00:36:22

names on social media. So for example, my podcast, Instagram

Unknown: 00:36:27

and my Twitter are at let me be frank, odd. And then my personal

Unknown: 00:36:35

Instagram, and my Tick Tock are Frank Anthony books. And then I

Unknown: 00:36:40

have a website, www dot frank Anthony books calm. And like you

Unknown: 00:36:45

had said to the podcast, as on Spotify, apple, podcasts, pod

Unknown: 00:36:50

bean, and a ton of other different streaming services.

Unknown: 00:36:55

Very, very cool. Well, thank you so much for being here with us

Unknown: 00:37:00

today. It was such a pleasure to meet with you in person again. I

Unknown: 00:37:04

mean, zoom is what we have right now. And, yeah, I will make sure

Unknown: 00:37:11

to connect people with you. And I'm excited for your upcoming

Unknown: 00:37:15

episodes. Thank you for being here.

Unknown: 00:37:19

Thank you so much, Aurora.

Unknown: 00:37:22

Thank you so much for listening to this interview. I hope you

Unknown: 00:37:25

got a lot of value out of it. And yeah, make your own

Unknown: 00:37:29

conclusions. My biggest conclusion here is, it is so

Unknown: 00:37:33

important to reflect about how we behaved in the past how we

Unknown: 00:37:39

communicated, and to think about how we can do things better in

Unknown: 00:37:45

the future and reconnect with people that we have lost along

Unknown: 00:37:49

the way. And be okay with people not wanting to reconnect with us

Unknown: 00:37:55

anymore. take really good care of yourself. Thanks for

Unknown: 00:37:59

subscribing and maybe leaving me or writing on Apple podcast. I

Unknown: 00:38:05

will be out there very soon again. Bye bye, Aurora.