Have you ever been triggered in a conversation, and your immediate response is fight or flight? What if you could shift your response, improving the quality of your relationships and communication?

In this episode of the BariNation podcast, we welcome back Rodolfo Alvarez, a certified mindset coach, engineer, Master of Science and BariNation Membership Community Credentialed Expert, to dive into the art of constructive conversations. Rodolfo explains how to communicate effectively when you're triggered, how to respond in a way that fosters understanding, and why this kind of mindset shift is crucial for maintaining strong relationships, especially when navigating the challenges of weight loss surgery. If you're ready to transform how you approach conversations and feel more in control of your responses, this episode is for you!

Rodolfo leads regular Mindset Classes in the BariNation Community and has been a frequent guest on the BariNation Podcast.

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IN THIS EPISODE:

• [2:31] Rodolfo defines a constructive conversation
• [4:11] Confrontation doesn’t change anyone's mind
• [6:14] The challenge of listening
• [11:06] Allowing people to disagree
• [11:37] Join us in the Bari-Nation Support Community and consider donating to DriveToThrive.com/BariNationPodcast 

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• A constructive conversation focuses on expressing one's needs and feelings without attempting to change the other person's viewpoint. It's about sharing how one feels and what one needs from the other person in a way that respects their position.
• It's essential to listen to what's beneath someone's words. In a disagreement about surgery, the other person's objections stem from concern and fear for your health rather than judgment or disagreement with your choice.
• Disagreements are natural in relationships, and it's essential to allow space for differing opinions without changing each other’s minds. Acknowledging this can help maintain and strengthen relationships.

RESOURCES:

• BariNation Website 
• Join the BariNation Membership community meetups to support you on your journey with obesity treatment. https://barination.com/pages/join-our-community
• Want to see bonus content? Head over to Patreon to get more and support the podcast for as low as $5 per month! 

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

Rodolfo Alvarez - Website

Rodolfo Alvarez - Instagram

Yes Institute - Website

GUEST BIO: 

Rodolfo Alvarez is a certified mindset coach, engineer, and Master of Science with over a decade of experience working with individuals and organizations, including PepsiCo and McKinsey, as well as schools and non-profits worldwide.  He hosts monthly Mindset Classes in the BariNation Community and contributes his expertise on the BariNation Podcast frequently.

ABOUT:

If the BariNation podcast helps power your bariatric journey, become a monthly podcast supporter and help us produce the show! Visit www.barinationpodcast.com and help us support people treating the disease of obesity with humor, humility, and honesty.

Bariatric Surgery, Communication, Relationships, BariNation Community Support, Bariatric Diet, BariNation, Bariatric Journey,  NSV's, GLP-1, VSG, Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy, LapBand, Roux en Y, Gastric Bypass, SADI-S, Mindfulness, Medications, Effective Conversations, Emotional Responses, Listening

April Williams: You've just tuned into a podcast that welcomes you into a community, a resource center, and a safe place that powers your [00:00:15] journey towards personal wellness.

Natalie Tierney: Our goal is you leave us today feeling hopeful, inspired, and ready to live your best bariatric life.

Today's conversation is all about our response when we are having conversations with people that we have relationships with. Uh, sometimes they might say things that are a little bit triggering [00:01:00] and we respond with a fight or flight response. And in today's segment, Rodolfo is going to explain to us why that happens and what we could do to respond in a different way so that Our communication is effective and we [00:01:15] are maintaining or improving the relationships that we have.

You can learn more about our community at barrynation. mn. co. All right. Enjoy the segment and I'll see you in [00:01:45] Barry Nation soon. How can I show up in a conversation in a way that is constructive? That is a skill that not a lot of people have, and it's a [00:02:00] skill that we need to learn as patients. Because without constructive conversations, our relationships will go nowhere, or they will go in a direction that we don't want them to go.

Rodolfo Alvarez: 100%. 100%. And going back to what we discussed before, the beginning would be ask yourself, am I ready to have a constructive conversation?

In a way that hopefully take me where I want to be, right? So, for example, what I'm thinking is kind of like, if you're ready emotionally to have the conversation, you could [00:03:15] start with something like, you know what, Peter, I understand that you disagree with the choice that I made. I see you. And I know that you have evidence that tells you that.

If you see that I'm not drinking water, like, please remind me. And I get that [00:04:00] you disagree with this, but this is what I would appreciate from you today. You just leave it.

April Williams: It's a completely different approach.

Like people are kind of like, I'm going to collect the most evidence that I have to prove that you're wrong and then I'm going to shit your mind and I'm going to vote for the other candidate. [00:04:30] I don't know if anyone has been successful with that approach, like changing, like, honestly, I think it doesn't work because actually we have this.

April Williams: It has not worked in the past. It's not going to work in the future, which is why we are so excited that you are leading this class in BariNation, right? Because that is at the heart of what you're going to be teaching. Right. How do we [00:05:15] change how we have conversations in a way that is constructive and productive for us?

Then. So here's how here's how things are going to look right on my end going forward. And it has nothing to do with my [00:06:00] love for you. My nope. I still love you the same, but this is this is what I'm going to do in response to kind of what what you are able or willing to do. To give in this relationship that we have together

To really listen what's going on with the other person, right? Because the automatic response, but I'm Peter, okay? So you heard my speech about why the surgery [00:06:30] doesn't work. Your internal thought could be my brother doesn't support me. He judges me. He's not there for me. Um, Like, that could be your interpretation by doing [00:06:45] that, then you're not listening, you're just judging the things that Peter is saying.

So, so if you're able to understand that. I think that that [00:07:30] helps to start a conversation because it's kind of like, okay, we disagree. I know that you have been trying to do this to help me, but actually, that's not how I need to be helped today. This is how I need to be [00:07:45] helped. And you transition the conversation.

Does that make

April Williams: sense?

But, but we need to like, stop and listen. What's underneath of that comment. [00:08:15] I have a friend that is missing doing something with me. Maybe that person me misses the friendship, the connection, the camaraderie. Is that the word? Camaraderie. Yeah. Okay. And this is a [00:08:30] way that they know how to communicate that.

And you transition the [00:09:00] conversation, but we don't do that.

Rodolfo Alvarez: 100%. 100%. And there's a lot of mindfulness that could be applied to listening powerfully [00:09:45] when we are in conversations. Typically, we have this inner voice that is talking, judging, criticizing, like, tell you what to do, et cetera. And you can observe that, right? And maybe you put that aside and just [00:10:00] focus on what the person is saying.

April Williams: In

April Williams: And we attach things that aren't necessarily true to what other people say for all kinds of different reasons. And it really sounds like the heart of this work is learning to detach from the things that we think are important.[00:10:30]

Rodolfo Alvarez: Yes, exactly. And also, the other thing [00:11:00] is that I feel that sometimes people have a hard time. With disagreement.

April Williams: Oh,

The point is how, given that we have different points of view, we can find common, common grounds [00:11:30] and move forward.

April Williams: That wraps up another empowering episode of the BariNation podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, keep the BariNation

Natalie Tierney: Join us at barination.mn.co. If you found this podcast valuable, help us produce it by becoming a 5 monthly [00:12:00] supporter at barinationpodcast.com.