It is nearly two full months since the beginning of the New Year. Have you made resolutions that you have kept? Less than 22% of people who made resolutions have stuck with them for two months, which means more than 3/4ths of individuals have already given up. In this episode, we will re-explore past episodes where we discussed setting goals, but now ask the important question of whether you were too ambitious to begin with. How can you make your resolutions not only restart, but “bite-sized” enough to be manageable.

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Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Joshua: Welcome back to episode

number 91 of Speaking From the Heart.

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I hope that you've been staying

consistent with your goals since the

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new year, because today's episode

is about checking in and seeing how

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you're doing, and I know that it is

very hard to have this conversation.

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It might be facing the truth.

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It might be facing the hardships.

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It might be facing what you've been

putting off for the longest time.

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It's been over two months

since the new year started.

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Have you been successful in what

you've been setting up for yourself?

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Have you been creating that best value

in your life, helping to push the

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needle forward, regardless of what

obstacles, transitions, other issues

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that might be facing you, and your

whole entire existence, at this point?

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Has it been really tough for you to

keep those resolutions, those things

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that have been on your mind for so long

way before this new year even started?

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Are you feeling a little bit of guilt,

shame, hurt, pain, maybe resentment

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that might be holding you back

from maybe tackling what's ahead?

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Well, you might be part of the 78 percent

of people that have already given up,

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because by this time, as you listen to

this episode, less than 22 percent of

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people who had made resolutions have

stuck with them for the first two months,

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so if you are listening to this, and

you have been consistent with everything

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that you've been doing, you are part of a

very elite group of people, less than one

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fourth of people overall, that have been

able to accomplish those opportunities

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that they set forth, but it doesn't mean

that for those that have given up that all

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is lost, and I really want to spend some

time talking about what we have talked

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about in this show previously, in addition

to the fact that we have this opportunity

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still to make things come alive.

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I want to be consistent with you.

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I want to be able to stay attached to what

you are dealing with, and I want to help

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you continue that path that you set out

originally before the new year started.

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If you remember back from episode number

65, which you haven't had a chance to

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listen to, I encourage you to do so now,

we talked about preparing for that next

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adventure in the new year, in which we

shared a lot of different things that

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we should be breaking the cycle of not

only those bad things that we've been

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wanting to do and break the habit of, but

we also talked about how we can address

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those problems, those situations, those

concerns, those things that have been

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long lost in your ability to be able to

not only navigate through those different

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problems that you've had from being

consistent with your resolutions, but even

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making that simple plan to move forward.

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Simple, right?

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That was the intentionality of

what we wanted to set out with:

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that small, infinitesimal idea.

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That goal that we wanted to create.

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That opportunity that

we wanted to excel in.

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That dream that we wanted to master.

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Those things that we often talk about

that are opportunities, dreams, or

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aspirations, all stem from one thing:

we wanted to make progress, but was

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the progress that we were hoping to

make by this point way too large?

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Is there a way in which we can

take a big step back and maybe look

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at how we can break it down even

smaller than what you had originally

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thought was small to begin with?

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Every time that we talk about something

that is bite sized, we are talking about

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things that are able to be manageable.

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It's enough for us to be able to say,

"Yes, I am able to do this.", but at

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the same time, take a big step back

and think about what are the ways

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in which we can work on those goals.

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Those goals are not just the things

that we set out to do, but it's also the

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magnitude of them that will fundamentally

change everything about ourselves.

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It could be about our appearance,

whether in the physical or mental sense.

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It could be the skills that we're

learning: new knowledge and new abilities

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that we otherwise wouldn't have, or,

it could be as simple as changing

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something that we normally don't even

think about twice, but just making that

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small adjustment to make ourselves feel

a little bit better about ourselves.

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Regardless of what that intention is

that you're trying to set up or even

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create for that matter, being this

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means that you have to learn that

sometimes things happen for a reason.

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The same reasons that we think that

we're going to be successful don't

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always necessarily translate into

being able to become successful.

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What I mean by that is when we

have this idea of what success

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looks like, it often gets warped.

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It gets manipulated by not only the things

that we have going on, the things that

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happen on the day to day, but also on the

things that we change about ourselves.

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We have changed already since January

1st of this year and reaching this

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point in which you're listening

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That small amount of time, whether it is

a lot of time or small amount of time, can

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make you understand that maybe the things

that you had on your plate have morphed

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and have evolved and now with even more

things coming up in gearing for even the

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spring season and even the summer season,

especially if you're living in the United

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States, or even in the fall or winter

season, depending on where you are in the

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world, you have to learn the fact that

these moments in which we're embarking

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on mean that we have to take a look at

not just what has happened, but what

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has transpired in our lives to make us

change, make us not be able to accomplish

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what we ultimately set out to do.

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I think that we always need to have a

reminder of what those goals are that

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we're trying to achieve, because when

we have them staring right in front of

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us, they are able to be magnetized to

not only the thoughts and the emotions

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that we feel every day, but allows us to

set the course for the rest of that day.

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Even if we're able to spend 30 minutes to

an hour on working on some of those goals,

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that can make such a big difference.

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That means being intentional about

scheduling that time, setting aside

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that ability for us to grow in that

opportunity, but also learn and

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adapt and evolve to that overarching

opportunity that we have presented to us.

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We have to think about how we can

be ambitious to chase after those

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opportunities, those dreams that we have.

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Even if things have changed since you

last listened to episode number 65,

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and you did set those goals, think

about what was involved at that time.

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Was there a sense of hope, inspiration,

courage, maybe even ways in which

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you were going to evolve, not

only as an individual, but as a

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human being, to be able to create

those best moments of enjoyment?

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Maybe those moments of enjoyment

turned into moments of pain,

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displeasure, maybe even discomfort.

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I know for myself, I didn't start the new

year off on a good note, feeling that I

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was absolutely sick to my stomach and not

feeling the best in my physical sense.

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It set me back on really setting the

momentum into the new year, and it also

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caused me, a podcast host and even a

coach in my own business, to be able

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to really gain momentum and get to the

point where I am now, and even then, we

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all have ebbs and flows of our energy

level and being able to keep up with a

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rigorous schedule, especially when it

has so many demanding aspects to it.

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Whether that is taking care of a

family member, whether that involves

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your children, maybe it includes

other things that you normally don't

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think about, but the most important

thing to consider when it comes to the

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bigger scheme of what you're trying

to achieve is that you have to learn

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to evolve with the changing times.

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You have to learn to create not just

those opportunities to carve out the

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time to work on yourself, but you also

have to learn to embrace to catch up

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on the time in which you might have

lost because of those other priorities.

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This episode is not about having

a guilt trip, and I'm wondering

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if you are feeling that.

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You're feeling a sense of overwhelmedness.

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Maybe you're not feeling good about

who you are right now listening to

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this and saying yourself, "Josh.

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I just don't know what to do.

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I'm at wit's end, and all your

encouraging words and even opportunities

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and words that you're saying

that revolve around this sense of

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opportunity doesn't resonate with me."

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I have to share with you a unique

story that happened to me just recently

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because of me embracing the fact

that sometimes we might fall behind,

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but we are willing to catch back up.

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Most recently, I celebrated my 37th

birthday, and knowing that I have been

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through the ringer this past year with a

lot of different things happening with my

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business, and really learning and adapting

to the changing, evolving geometry of

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what is involved with running such an

organization, I had to learn how to

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evolve my own personal time and not only

giving myself grace, but giving myself the

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opportunity to foster growth; to foster

the ways in which I'm able to serve myself

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with the opportunity that I want to have.

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What did that mean?

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It meant taking some time for myself to

meditate, to really start examining what

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are some of the things that are still

holding me back after all this time so

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that I can continue to grow as a human

being, and as an adult for that matter

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The age of 36, for me on this earth, has

really shown so many different types of

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opportunities and things that otherwise

wouldn't have been shown to me if I didn't

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go through some of the hard experiences

that I had to go through, but each of

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those moments have an opportunity in

itself to learn and foster development

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in ways that we often don't think about.

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The things in which we evolve

emotionally, physically, and

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mentally all compel us to think one

way for a certain period of time.

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I like to call that our mantra

for that certain length of

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whatever that time period is.

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Every time that our mantra changes,

we're changing essentially the geometry,

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the energy, the design in which we're

able to move forward, or maybe even move

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backward, because in life, there are a

series of steps that we take backward

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before we're able to move forward.

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Whether the number of steps is equal

to the same that we're moving forward

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to, meaning that we made a net zero

contribution to ourselves, doesn't

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actually mean that in its literal sense.

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What it means is that we feel that we're

not making progress, but we might actually

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be making progress in other ways that

we're not able to intentionally see as

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a whole, but even with those that have

been able to follow through with their

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goals, the 22 percent of us that have

been successful in being able to stick

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with our resolutions, do you feel that

that change is really starting to radiate

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in your life, and if you're feeling that

it's not, maybe you're not yet doing

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the things that you really need to do

to help sustain that type of change.

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I always say to my clients, especially

going through this transformation in

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themselves, and looking from not just

the inside but also the outside, about

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what is the ammunition that you are using

to supply yourself with the opportunity

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that you have available to you.

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In layman's terms, what are the things

that you are feeding yourself in order

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for it to not be wasted along the

sidelines of not just what you are

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putting in your body physically, which

is food and water, but also what you're

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nurturing it with: books, other knowledge,

maybe even reading articles online.

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The wide variety of different things that

serve us that create that opportunity mean

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that we have to learn from the fact that

those aspects that we set ourselves out

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to do don't always necessarily translate

into the success that we envisioned in the

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first place, so let's look at it this way.

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The promises that we made to ourselves

oftentimes are forgotten because of the

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changes that we have made in not only

in our lives at that present time, but

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what we're doing now in the future.

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Maybe you are making progress, and

you're not quite realizing it yet.

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I'm not saying that you need to go

back to episode number 65 to get a

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perspective of how to challenge yourself

with these goals, but I am asking

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you to think about all the different

things that you might not be thinking

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about when it comes to the success that

you have already achieved thus far.

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Maybe the goals that weren't

achieved were achieved in other ways.

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For example, maybe helping someone

with their finances was actually

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something of a relationship between

that dollar that you gave to a

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homeless person that was graciously

accepting what you had to provide.

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It could be even donating

food to the local food bank.

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It could be even volunteering

some of your time to be able to

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give back to the bigger community.

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Remember that there's always an indirect

and direct correlation to the things

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that you're achieving as a whole, and

that is what you need to stick to.

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The promises that you might have made

for yourself that you've forgotten

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may have not been forgotten in the

first place, so how can we restart our

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resolutions if we're really dead set and

literal about what we want to achieve?

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How can we make this happen?

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First, make it bite-sized.

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Second, get yourself an

accountability person so that

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they will help you stay on track.

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Third, measure your progress, whether

that's in days, hours, minutes,

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depending on what the goal is, make it

measurable so that you can see physically

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and mentally that you are doing it.

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Fourth, help yourself by feeding not

just the knowledge that surrounds

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that goal, but the indirect knowledge

that might help you to gain clarity.

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Ask for other people's opinions.

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Ask those that are not vested in your

life, maybe even co workers for that

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matter, about holding yourself to

that level, that standard that you

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really want to achieve, but fifth,

and overall, give yourself grace.

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I have talked about on numerous episodes

about the importance of grace and

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giving yourself that space to know that

sometimes when you fail, it's okay to

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fail, but it's when you dwell in it,

that long extended period of time,

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especially for my male audience that

might be struggling with this, this is the

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point that you should pay attention to.

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We do not have to struggle anymore

if we're willing to be open and

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transparent that we all suffer

from different types of problems.

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The vulnerability of us to be able to

share in that context what we're going

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through does not show a sign of weakness.

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Even if you did forget about yourself and

those promises that you made, just know

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that it's not too late to start again.

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It is too early to give up and throw the

towel in and wait another 10 months in

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2025 to start this process all over again.

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You can hop back on this bandwagon and

still be part of the 22 percent to make

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it the 23%, the 25, the 30, the 40, the

50 percent of people that can achieve

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it and change this statistic around,

because if you're able to do that, if

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you're able to examine your past and

hold yourself accountable with other

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people and measure that progress, you

are going to be successful, but you

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already have been successful because

you're listening to things like this

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that will help you stay on track.

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It's not just the restart

we're talking about here.

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It's about restarting what your

hopes, dreams, and aspirations are.

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They are all worth it.

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Don't let any sort of big monstrous pieces

consume you from making that overall

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progress that you are going to make.

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Being bite sized is what will be

really important to address not only

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the ambiguity of your goal that you

set out with, but you will be able to

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get back on that track to not be stuck

anymore and to keep pressing forward

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because being on this journey means

keeping the commitment to move forward.

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That commitment is my promise to you,

not only as a coach, but also somebody

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that wants to see you be successful.

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Thanks for listening to episode

number 91 of Speaking from the

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Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart very soon.

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Outro: Thanks for listening.

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For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

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The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

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Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

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services that can help you create

the best version of yourself.

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See you next time.