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Slowing Down to Find Your Own Pace | Season 1 Wrap Up
Episode 1620th December 2022 • Reclaiming Ourselves™ • Sonya Stattmann
00:00:00 00:48:17

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It’s been an amazing first season on Reclaiming Ourselves, but before we take a break, we had to get the panel back together! Sonya and all of her co-hosts are in the studio to share their thoughts on how to find the right pace for ourselves, allowing ourselves time to recover so we can show up as our best selves! 

This process of slowing down to determine the rhythm and timing that works best for us is an important part of reclaiming ourselves. 

Not only do we begin to reclaim our time and energy, but we start to understand what optimizes our aliveness. In this episode, we see how each co-host views rest at this busy time of year, and how they’re managing the demands of the season.

Join us as we discuss

  • 16:39 The cultural messaging we receive that makes rest feel unsafe.
  • 19:47 Why it’s hard to find our own tempo, and easy to just move at the pace the world sets for us.
  • 25:07 Why it’s a good thing to celebrate slowing down.
  • 39:56 When rest isn’t really restful, and how to tell the difference.

Resources mentioned in the show: (If appropriate)

Learn more about the hosts

—> Sonya Stattmann is the host & creator of Reclaiming Ourselves™. She is a TEDx & corporate speaker, and has been working with leaders around personal development for the last 22 years. She teaches workshops & offers small group programs around emotional intelligence, transformational & embodied leadership and energy management. You can find more about her here:

Website: https://www.sonyastattmann.com/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sonyastattmann/

—> Laura Shook-Guzman, co-host of Reclaiming Ourselves, LMFT, and Somatic Psychotherapist for entrepreneurs has been a mental health professional for 23 years. She’s the founder of three businesses; the world's first Wellness Coworking Community Soma Vida, the global community Women Who Cowork, and her own therapy practice, Conscious Ambition. You can find more about her here: 

Website: http://www.laurashookguzman.com/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurashookguzman/ 

—> Belinda Haan, co-host of Reclaiming Ourselves, is a gifted Masters-level certified professional coach who has worked with leaders and executives in various Fortune 500 corporations worldwide. She is a mindfulness and compassion teacher and facilitates group and individual therapeutic interventions that promote inner connection and belonging. She is personally passionate about bridging the gap between science and spirit, using an empathic, grounded approach that weaves contemplative practice and accessible personal development with her clients. You can find more about her here:


Website: www.belindahaan.com

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/belinda-haan-b1b02815/


—> Emily Soccorsy [So-KOR-SEE], co-host of Reclaiming Ourselves, believes branding is how people experience what you believe. As owner and CEO of Root + River, a brand strategy team, Emily uses her talents to help leaders uncover the foundations of their brand: message, audience, differentiators, and overall brand strategy. She’s also an author, speaker, poet, artist, and mom of two daughters (and a 130-pound Great Pyrenees named Archie) and partner to her husband of over 20 years. You can find more about her here:


Website: https://rootandriver.com/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/emilysoccorsy/ 


What you can do next:

  1. For more episodes, opportunities and information on the hosts, visit http://reclaimingourselvespodcast.com/
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  3. Need a little weekly magic? Sign up for Worthy Love Notes & weekly affirmations here https://www.sonyastattmann.com/self-worth-affirmations-2/  

Thank you for being you. We are so honored to have you as a listener!


Transcripts

Belinda Haan:

how often does that happen?

Belinda Haan:

And, and I think that that's part of the guilt for me sometimes

Belinda Haan:

is, because it doesn't happen.

Belinda Haan:

There's no one celebrating good on you for sort of taking a

Belinda Haan:

rest and having some downtime.

Belinda Haan:

It really is something that's so inner that we've got to, accept that that's what

Belinda Haan:

we need.

Belinda Haan:

Um, and but wouldn't it be wonderful if we all had Laura's like going, go, you snail,

Belinda Haan:

like just slow down and lay down and rest

Sonya Stattmann:

Well this is why we have each other, and this is

Sonya Stattmann:

why our listeners have us too, cuz we are celebrating your rest.

Sonya Stattmann:

We are celebrating your snails pace or whatever pace you're operating at.

Sonya Stattmann:

If you know there is something deep inside of you that is yearning to be

Sonya Stattmann:

seen, to be known, and to have expression.

Sonya Stattmann:

If there's something you need to reclaim and remember: maybe it's your

Sonya Stattmann:

power or your purpose, your gifts.

Sonya Stattmann:

This is the podcast for you.

Sonya Stattmann:

Welcome to Reclaiming Ourselves.

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm your host, Sonya Stattmann and I'm honored to have three amazing

Sonya Stattmann:

co-hosts, Laura Shook-Guzman, Belinda Haan, and Emily Soccorsy, here with

Sonya Stattmann:

me on this journey to self discovery.

Sonya Stattmann:

Every week we're gonna help you unravel and remember what it means to reclaim

Sonya Stattmann:

yourself, to own who you are, to recognize your innate worth and greatness.

Sonya Stattmann:

Now this podcast is a deep dive into self-development,

Sonya Stattmann:

healing, and empowerment.

Sonya Stattmann:

So hold on.

Sonya Stattmann:

Here we go.

Sonya Stattmann:

Hi, and welcome back to Reclaiming Ourselves.

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm so excited today because this is the wrap up episode for our first

Sonya Stattmann:

season on Reclaiming Ourselves.

Sonya Stattmann:

all the co-hosts are here and we wanna do a check-in.

Sonya Stattmann:

How are we doing?

Sonya Stattmann:

How are you doing?

Sonya Stattmann:

I think it's so important as we're approaching the holidays

Sonya Stattmann:

and really often in our life to kind of slow down and check in.

Sonya Stattmann:

How are we doing?

Sonya Stattmann:

Right.

Sonya Stattmann:

Pause, rest, contemplate.

Sonya Stattmann:

And so that's what we're gonna do today and I thought we could start.

Sonya Stattmann:

With kind of maybe a centering exercise or a way we can kind of connect to ourselves.

Sonya Stattmann:

And so I'm gonna leave that to Laura.

Sonya Stattmann:

Welcome Laura.

Sonya Stattmann:

Thank you for being here.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Thank you, Sonya.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's so wonderful to be here, especially all together again.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Um, and, and I think that just taking a minute to pause is a wonderful thing to

Laura Shook-Guzman:

do as we move into this conversation.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I know some listeners might be in the car, they might be walking and, you know,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

doing something while we're centering.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So I wanna invite everyone, you know, come into.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

The body to the degree that you're able.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Definitely keep your eyes open if you're driving, doing something really important.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

But what I wanna demonstrate today is that we don't actually have to

Laura Shook-Guzman:

stop and become completely still.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

That to turn attention inwards and to pause is all about awareness.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And where do we place this awareness.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So if you're somewhere where you can sit, slow down, lay down, feel free.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Or if you're walking, driving, just take a minute to bring your

Laura Shook-Guzman:

attention to my voice and let's just take a moment to go into our breath.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so no matter where you are or what you're doing, I want you to

Laura Shook-Guzman:

just take a minute to notice your body breathing and you can just

Laura Shook-Guzman:

notice the body as it's taking the inhale through the nose, noticing the

Laura Shook-Guzman:

temperature of the air as it's moving.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then allowing your exhale, noticing the temperature of the air as it moves

Laura Shook-Guzman:

out the nose or the mouth, and no need to judge or change the breath.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

We're just simply noticing the body breathing.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And in this act of awareness, we bring ourselves more into our.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And if you need a little more calm, you can actually exhale a

Laura Shook-Guzman:

little longer than the inhale.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Bringing the body into a more relaxed state, deepening that exhale,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and then just bringing awareness to what is my body feeling in this moment?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Maybe feeling the bottoms of your feet.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Were your hands touching the steering wheel or touching the chair that you're

Laura Shook-Guzman:

sitting in, or the body that you're in.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Just resting your hands on your lap and noticing the top of

Laura Shook-Guzman:

the head, top of the shoulders.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Those are all areas we can just notice the body in this moment

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and notice the body breathing.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And in this little bit of awareness, we can just check in, Dennis,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

what are we feeling in the body?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

What are we imagining?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

What are the thoughts that are flowing through and just

Laura Shook-Guzman:

releasing and letting those go.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And what are the emotions that are moving through the body energy moving?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then we send gratitude to our body for showing up in this present moment with us

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and the awareness that we have of self.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Just sending that gratitude, and then with your next inhale, just bring awareness

Laura Shook-Guzman:

back into the edges of the body, bringing you back into the room and exhaling.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And when you're ready, slowly starting to open your eyes if you were closed or

Laura Shook-Guzman:

starting to move back into your activity.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And there we go, Sonya, just a little pause and as an

Laura Shook-Guzman:

assessment of how we're doing.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So how are you feeling after that?

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

Really good.

Sonya Stattmann:

And you know, that's kind of where I thought we would start today, is really

Sonya Stattmann:

just to check in with each of us, you know, and, an invitation for our listeners

Sonya Stattmann:

to check in with themselves as well.

Sonya Stattmann:

You know, where are we in this season and time of our lives, wherever we are,

Sonya Stattmann:

and, you know, how are we doing right?

Sonya Stattmann:

where are we at?

Sonya Stattmann:

And I think so often, We're just so quick to say I'm good.

Sonya Stattmann:

Things are good.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

Everything's good.

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm good.

Sonya Stattmann:

We're good.

Sonya Stattmann:

You know, , and, I often don't always feel that way.

Sonya Stattmann:

A lot of times I don't even necessarily know what I feel.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right.

Sonya Stattmann:

I, I'm maybe a little tired or, you know, I was just sharing with

Sonya Stattmann:

a co-host before we started that I'm really unmotivated right now.

Sonya Stattmann:

I think I'm in that season of winter where I just wanna go inward.

Sonya Stattmann:

I wanna be quiet, I wanna be still, I wanna rest.

Sonya Stattmann:

I don't wanna.

Sonya Stattmann:

Do things.

Sonya Stattmann:

And yet I have kind of this war inside myself telling me I should do more and I

Sonya Stattmann:

should be more productive and, you know, so it's this really interesting place

Sonya Stattmann:

and I feel like there's a lot of people right now, in an interesting place.

Sonya Stattmann:

The world is very interesting right now, and I think it's important that

Sonya Stattmann:

we, we check in and we talk about it.

Sonya Stattmann:

So how are you, Laura?

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I'm doing well.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I am grateful to be here, like I said, altogether, and looking

Laura Shook-Guzman:

forward to hearing from, um, Emily and Belinda and, and I love hearing

Laura Shook-Guzman:

your check in cuz I usually track.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

You and I have similar energy flows and I am also feeling that, you know,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

grateful for the winter season because as it gets cooler, it's as if there's a

Laura Shook-Guzman:

giant permission slip to just cuddle.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I just wanna be under blankets.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I wanna be sipping hot beverages.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I wanna.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Be curled up and I think that, you know, I'm glad I'm taking a whole week

Laura Shook-Guzman:

off actually, um, this week in the States we have Thanksgiving, so I'm

Laura Shook-Guzman:

taking, um, the rest after this as I'm taking all the rest of the week.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then, um, I am going to be off during, um, the holidays in December for

Laura Shook-Guzman:

a couple of weeks, so I'm looking forward to moving into this place of energy.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Recovery is really, I'm really thinking of it.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's not just rest, but it's active recovery for my energy so that I

Laura Shook-Guzman:

can move into 2023 rested and ready.

Sonya Stattmann:

I love that.

Sonya Stattmann:

Emily, how about you?

Sonya Stattmann:

How are.

Emily Soccorsy:

Yeah.

Emily Soccorsy:

I love what you just said, um, Laura, about active recovery versus rest.

Emily Soccorsy:

as Sonya said, we were chatting before we started the recording about feeling

Emily Soccorsy:

guilty about rest or feeling guilty about feeling unmotivated when the list is long.

Emily Soccorsy:

But if we switch and we start thinking about that as active recovery, And

Emily Soccorsy:

that active recovery might look like laying on the couch with like, I

Emily Soccorsy:

like to pile many blankets on me,

Emily Soccorsy:

Um, it may look like, sitting outside.

Emily Soccorsy:

I live in a temperate climate so I can do that.

Emily Soccorsy:

And it's actually the lovely time of year, but it's still chilly.

Emily Soccorsy:

Um, But whatever it, it needs to be, I think I'm, I started going down

Emily Soccorsy:

that path of like, yeah, what if we didn't call it rest so we didn't have

Emily Soccorsy:

to deal with the baggage of that.

Emily Soccorsy:

And we called it, this is my recovery time.

Sonya Stattmann:

Mm.

Emily Soccorsy:

anyway, that just jumped out at me.

Emily Soccorsy:

and I'm feeling, I'm feeling personally like a lot of

Emily Soccorsy:

peace moving into this season.

Emily Soccorsy:

Recently, um, this season of the year where there's lots of celebrations

Emily Soccorsy:

and holidays is difficult because I've lost people close to me.

Emily Soccorsy:

And so it's always tinged with a lot of grief and loss and processing.

Emily Soccorsy:

And I was listening to somebody speak about how they loved the

Emily Soccorsy:

holidays and I've kind of like.

Emily Soccorsy:

Since going undergoing these losses become a little bit less, somewhat

Emily Soccorsy:

enthusiastic about them coming, but she was saying she loves them because of the

Emily Soccorsy:

mix of melancholy and Mary memories.

Emily Soccorsy:

And then present moments of.

Emily Soccorsy:

Juiciness that it's that mix that makes it so precious to her.

Emily Soccorsy:

And so I also took a note from that.

Emily Soccorsy:

I was like, oh yeah, you know what?

Emily Soccorsy:

If we celebrated the fact that we're going into a time where we, where

Emily Soccorsy:

I personally have a lot of memories and of people that are no longer with

Emily Soccorsy:

us, um, And at the same time, I'm creating memories for my family now.

Emily Soccorsy:

So that's just as dear.

Emily Soccorsy:

I don't know.

Emily Soccorsy:

I'm trying to embrace all that.

Emily Soccorsy:

I'm feeling centered at the moment.

Emily Soccorsy:

I'm sure I will feel off course and, you know, about an hour.

Emily Soccorsy:

But, um, , that's kinda where I'm at today.

Emily Soccorsy:

what about you, Belinda?

Belinda Haan:

Oh, well, I feel like all of you have just spoken to me, and

Belinda Haan:

helped me understand what's happening for me because I think last year, so if

Belinda Haan:

I sort of zoom out last year, Was really, I think a whole year of inner winter.

Belinda Haan:

Um, really just so much inner work and um, active rest and recovery as well.

Belinda Haan:

Um, and this year's been really in our summer and you know, I just really

Belinda Haan:

feel like it's been a year of, action and, um, being out in the world and,

Belinda Haan:

you know, I've just graduated from the Stanford Compassion Course, so

Belinda Haan:

there's just been so much wonderful.

Belinda Haan:

We went to Italy for two months.

Belinda Haan:

It's just spent so much joy and so much, um, light and expansion.

Belinda Haan:

And then sort of zooming into my direct experience.

Belinda Haan:

Right now I'm recovering from Covid.

Belinda Haan:

I feel really unwell and I'm being called into inner winter.

Belinda Haan:

And it's kicking and screaming . So thank you for reminding me about,

Belinda Haan:

because what's been called that I'm just not listening to is active rest.

Belinda Haan:

And, I'm like, no, but I love summer.

Belinda Haan:

You know, I want to be in this expansion and activity and everything.

Belinda Haan:

rest is not natural for me.

Belinda Haan:

It's something that I have to.

Belinda Haan:

I have to work on constantly because it's not a natural tendency, you

Belinda Haan:

know, sometimes rest initially ignites the my threat response and

Belinda Haan:

I start sort of turning on myself, all of that kind of thing as well.

Belinda Haan:

So I've sort of gotta get, get through that period and

Belinda Haan:

not distract myself from that.

Belinda Haan:

And then sort of just surrender.

Belinda Haan:

And so thank you to all of you for reminding me that that is actually

Belinda Haan:

what I'm being called to do and, and I've just been resisting it so much,

Belinda Haan:

even though I have been technically resting, it hasn't been really rest.

Belinda Haan:

If, if that makes sense.

Sonya Stattmann:

Gosh.

Sonya Stattmann:

I can really resonate with all of you.

Sonya Stattmann:

I feel like And I, I think I'm also becoming more and more

Sonya Stattmann:

aware of the resistance to rest of the guilt that I have.

Sonya Stattmann:

You know, I normally wouldn't have said in the past that I experience a lot of guilt.

Sonya Stattmann:

You know, it's not, uh, an emotion or a feeling I'm really familiar with.

Sonya Stattmann:

I have remorse, of course I have, you know, things I wish I

Sonya Stattmann:

would do, but guilt isn't one of those things that, I wear a lot.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right?

Sonya Stattmann:

And I've been noticing more and more how guilty I feel for resting.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right.

Sonya Stattmann:

And e, even now, like I'm in this beautiful country of celebration, you

Sonya Stattmann:

know, Mexico's always celebrating.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Right.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right now is a huge celebration day.

Sonya Stattmann:

All this past, pretty much every weekend is a huge celebration.

Sonya Stattmann:

There's fireworks, there's people dancing in the streets, there's parades, and

Sonya Stattmann:

lately, I don't wanna go out , you know?

Sonya Stattmann:

And even that makes me feel guilty, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Like, oh, I'm not enjoying what I have.

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm not enjoying what I can access, but I just feel so called to rest.

Sonya Stattmann:

And so it's really interesting.

Sonya Stattmann:

I mean, what do you all think about that?

Sonya Stattmann:

Why do we experience so much guilt around resting?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Hmm.

Emily Soccorsy:

I'm curious, Laura, if you think I feel like there's something

Emily Soccorsy:

encoded in my, genetics, there feels like something just like inherent

Emily Soccorsy:

that pushes against the idea of rest.

Emily Soccorsy:

And I don't know if, if it's, you know, just watching my grandmother's like

Emily Soccorsy:

constantly work and my, grandparents like their work ethic and that, I

Emily Soccorsy:

don't know like, if it's that piece of it or is it as a the cultural

Emily Soccorsy:

piece that I've been ingrained like in me, or the combination of both.

Emily Soccorsy:

I wonder about the muscle memory of rest and I don't know what

Emily Soccorsy:

you would have to say about that.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yeah.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I was actually thinking about that when Belinda used that term too.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

You know, it's not my natural state.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Biologically rest is our natural state.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like human beings are designed to be rhythmic, to move in patterns

Laura Shook-Guzman:

of energy output and energy input, which is the recovery.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And all like organizational and performance psychology will show, right?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that it's like you're not even able to optimize your, um, biology like as an

Laura Shook-Guzman:

athlete unless you learn those patterns of training and then recovering.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And even in that, we see our coaches and athletes lose track of that

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and push until there's injury.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and so there's this really interesting, you know, for a long

Laura Shook-Guzman:

time, it's not just in our modern.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

In humanity, there is this drive to be able to keep up with our inventions.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's kind of like as we evolve and we create more technology or we

Laura Shook-Guzman:

get more and more sophisticated in how we build structures or we build

Laura Shook-Guzman:

technology, we, we then keep pace, with the way that this technology and

Laura Shook-Guzman:

this machinery works and that we start to lose track of our animal nature.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And this disconnection.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So I find all of this very fascinating and I'm, I'm as.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Psychotherapist.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I am somewhat an expert, but I would say there's probably people out there

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that are much more like this is their like wheelhouse where they look at this.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

But what I see with my clients is often time and time again when

Laura Shook-Guzman:

we dive in, it's a conditioning, it's a cultural conditioning.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

That rest is not safe.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and that, that has been carried, you know, so there's intergenerational

Laura Shook-Guzman:

stories about rest not being a safe thing.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so we're constantly engaged in the work to keep us.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Safe to keep producing, to be able to keep track.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and Pico ier actually has a really great Ted talk in which he names that

Laura Shook-Guzman:

we have begun to lose pace with our natural rhythm, I think he says, and

Laura Shook-Guzman:

start to try to pace with machines that we do believe that we work at

Laura Shook-Guzman:

the pace of machines and that that's part of our challenge right now.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So, I would agree with that.

Emily Soccorsy:

Wow.

Emily Soccorsy:

Yeah.

Belinda Haan:

Mm.

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

And, And especially as women, so just sort of talking about the

Belinda Haan:

cyclical nature of, of, of us.

Belinda Haan:

and, and being able to honor that and and, and yet there's sort of outer,

Belinda Haan:

outer dimensions that Impact in terms

Belinda Haan:

of, especially this time of the year, all the million things that

Belinda Haan:

are on with the kids and everything, um, all the system things.

Belinda Haan:

And as we talked about before we

Belinda Haan:

started the recording, you know, it's really So,

Belinda Haan:

countercultural rest, you know,

Belinda Haan:

it's, we're just told, you know, we are.

Belinda Haan:

Being busy is the right thing.

Belinda Haan:

That's when we're making, you know, achieving and, and making contributions.

Belinda Haan:

And, and I think for me, like Laura mentioned, I, I just feel like there's

Belinda Haan:

so much in my conditioned response.

Belinda Haan:

that prevents rest, you know, like the sort of core beliefs, like, I need

Belinda Haan:

to do more, I need to be more, I need to have more, I need to learn more.

Belinda Haan:

And even that sort of time scarcity, like I just need more

Belinda Haan:

time, you know, all of that.

Belinda Haan:

Um, really.

Belinda Haan:

They're the barriers to me being able to just go, you know what,

Belinda Haan:

like the writing is on the wall.

Belinda Haan:

It's time to sort of dip into that rest and restore.

Belinda Haan:

but it sometimes just takes a lot of ignoring the signals.

Belinda Haan:

Um, before that, that awareness comes in.

Emily Soccorsy:

That phrase you, you said Laura, about that We're trying

Emily Soccorsy:

to work at the pace of machines.

Emily Soccorsy:

That really hit me like, what are we doing, ? I mean, that's insane.

Emily Soccorsy:

That's insane.

Emily Soccorsy:

And then this idea of keeping pace, and this is something

Emily Soccorsy:

I, I kind of wrestled with.

Emily Soccorsy:

I, I guess I'm still wrestling with it, but certainly in the last year,

Emily Soccorsy:

this idea of like, what is my pace?

Emily Soccorsy:

What is my pace, right?

Emily Soccorsy:

If I'm not going to No thank you on keeping pace with machines, even

Emily Soccorsy:

though that's like a sucks you back in.

Emily Soccorsy:

no thank you.

Emily Soccorsy:

On grind culture.

Emily Soccorsy:

That's not my pace.

Emily Soccorsy:

Yes.

Emily Soccorsy:

To the moon cycles and like I wanna understand that and I wanna

Emily Soccorsy:

understand my body cycles and I wanna, I still wanna create things.

Emily Soccorsy:

I don't wanna be a.

Emily Soccorsy:

cog in the wheel of a, a system that has convinced me that in order to have

Emily Soccorsy:

value, I must be producing at all times.

Emily Soccorsy:

But I do have a drive to create and to manifest the things that

Emily Soccorsy:

I want to create in the world.

Emily Soccorsy:

So what is my pace?

Emily Soccorsy:

What does that look like?

Emily Soccorsy:

Um, and I think that's something that is, is hard this time of year.

Emily Soccorsy:

It's so easy.

Emily Soccorsy:

And all the noise to lose sight of that quest of saying, wait, is this my pace?

Emily Soccorsy:

Can I take a step back?

Emily Soccorsy:

Can I find my pace in, in the midst of all of these other pressures and influences?

Sonya Stattmann:

Mm-hmm.

Belinda Haan:

Mm.

Belinda Haan:

And also not like ha, having our own individualized pace , because sometimes

Belinda Haan:

I really feel like I, you know, I'm looking at other people and they seem to

Belinda Haan:

be able to do more than I can or without.

Belinda Haan:

Sort of needing that rest.

Belinda Haan:

And, you know, as someone who's highly empathetic and sensitive, you know, I,

Belinda Haan:

I need more, more of that dipping in and more of that sort of, restoration

Belinda Haan:

and sort of accepting that that is actually just part of my makeup.

Belinda Haan:

And that's, that's okay.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah, I mean, I feel like pace has been something

Sonya Stattmann:

I've been talking about and exploring for a long time, and I feel.

Sonya Stattmann:

A lot like a snail , to be honest.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like I feel like my pace is kind of a snail, and maybe that's

Sonya Stattmann:

just a momentary thing, and maybe that's just the season I'm in.

Sonya Stattmann:

But, you know, I, I feel like I get a fraction of things

Sonya Stattmann:

done that I used to get done.

Sonya Stattmann:

I mean, I think about how much I used to produce, or how much I used to

Sonya Stattmann:

create, or how much I used to get done.

Sonya Stattmann:

And now it's like, well, I might get something done once a month.

Sonya Stattmann:

You know, , it's like this, it's such a different reality.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's such a different pace as I play with it.

Sonya Stattmann:

And, and yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I find it really hard not to feel guilty.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I, and I've put myself now in a, in a culture, in a country

Sonya Stattmann:

where I can slow down in a lifestyle, where I can slow down.

Sonya Stattmann:

And it's actually, It's helping me face more of my demons, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

It's helping me face more of the condition tendencies I have because

Sonya Stattmann:

I have the ability to slow down.

Sonya Stattmann:

I have the influences even that will help me slow down.

Sonya Stattmann:

But my internal world is still raging.

Sonya Stattmann:

My internal world is still fighting.

Sonya Stattmann:

My internal world is still kicking and screaming, and so it's allowed me to come

Sonya Stattmann:

really face to face cause I feel like.

Sonya Stattmann:

Pace and slowing down.

Sonya Stattmann:

These are things I've been talking about for a long time.

Sonya Stattmann:

These are things I teach for a long time, and yet really facing the truth

Sonya Stattmann:

of what's still inside of me has been a really interesting lesson.

Sonya Stattmann:

And, you know, when I'm, I'm really thankful for, um, that I can start

Sonya Stattmann:

to integrate more of this, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

There's a lot there though, under the surface.

Sonya Stattmann:

There's a lot there that I'm facing.

Sonya Stattmann:

But I think this is such an important reflection.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right, and, and you know, one of the other things I've noticed is

Sonya Stattmann:

everyone rolls very differently and everyone has to honor their own pace.

Sonya Stattmann:

You know, even within my family, the four of us all operate at very different paces.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like none of us function the same.

Sonya Stattmann:

Some are closer than others to each other, but really we all

Sonya Stattmann:

have a really different natural.

Sonya Stattmann:

And that's even challenging.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like, you know, we have this little ecosystem and how do we honor each

Sonya Stattmann:

person, this little ecosystem, and how do we do that in a bigger system?

Sonya Stattmann:

Right.

Sonya Stattmann:

So, you know, I think this is such an important and interesting conversation.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yes.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yeah.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

But you know, we are here to, you know, we teach what we're here to learn.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

is that expression.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So you and I, Sonya, we've had a lot of our, you know, whole friendship

Laura Shook-Guzman:

was based, we came together like as very overwhelmed, busy mom saying

Laura Shook-Guzman:

there has to be a different way.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

There has.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

To be a different way and I love and celebrate that you

Laura Shook-Guzman:

feel like a snail right now.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

That is such an amazing shift in, you know, your energy.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

When we first met, you could get so much done.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

You were, you were and are always have the capacity of being in

Laura Shook-Guzman:

know quite the powerhouse and I celebrate you for slowing it down

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and I can really feel it and sense.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

You know, like you said, you're, you're able to be with

Laura Shook-Guzman:

yourself in a different way.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I, and I think that that's something that is an obstacle

Laura Shook-Guzman:

for some of us is when we do slow

Laura Shook-Guzman:

down and we get still sometimes we don't know and or have the

Laura Shook-Guzman:

tools to be with what comes up in that time of rest or stillness.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And, you know, I.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

A client right now that said, yeah, I don't wanna, I'm gonna

Laura Shook-Guzman:

be, I'm just busy right now.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And the holidays are hard and, and they have grief loss things

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that they're working with.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And she's like, I'm actively just not gonna slow down right now

Laura Shook-Guzman:

cuz I don't want to be with that.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so we're working on, well how, what would it be like to be able to slow down

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and feel more confident in your tools?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

That's like, I can let a little bit of that in without being overwhelmed.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so that's a whole nother thing of how do we work with

Laura Shook-Guzman:

what comes up when we're resting.

Sonya Stattmann:

yes.

Sonya Stattmann:

And thank, thank you, Laura, for saying that too, because you know, like I

Sonya Stattmann:

could feed myself tear up, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Like how often are we acknowledged for being a snail

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

And I, I wanna also just say, Laura, that was really wonderful recognition

Belinda Haan:

because how often does that happen?

Belinda Haan:

And, and I think that that's part of the guilt for me sometimes

Belinda Haan:

is, because it doesn't happen.

Belinda Haan:

There's no one celebrating good on you for sort of taking a

Belinda Haan:

rest and having some downtime.

Belinda Haan:

It really is something that's so inner that we've got to, accept that that's what

Belinda Haan:

we need.

Belinda Haan:

Um, and but wouldn't it be wonderful if we all had Laura's like going, go, you snail,

Belinda Haan:

like just slow down and lay down and rest

Sonya Stattmann:

Well this is why we have each other, and this is

Sonya Stattmann:

why our listeners have us too, cuz we are celebrating your rest.

Sonya Stattmann:

We are celebrating your snails pace or whatever pace you're operating at.

Emily Soccorsy:

Yeah.

Emily Soccorsy:

And celebrating the things you're just saying no to.

Emily Soccorsy:

If you say no to things like I I'm a baker, I love to bake, right?

Emily Soccorsy:

And so I used to, I would be in heavy baking mode right now and like after work,

Emily Soccorsy:

I'm gonna bake another batch of this and that and the other.

Emily Soccorsy:

And like, that's what my mom did and that's what my grandmothers did.

Emily Soccorsy:

And.

Emily Soccorsy:

, that's how you prepare for the holidays.

Emily Soccorsy:

And I'm like, me,

Emily Soccorsy:

I'm gonna bake one set of cookies and instead of making four

Emily Soccorsy:

pies, I'm gonna make one and everybody's gonna bring something.

Emily Soccorsy:

And so like we need to celebrate too, what we're saying no to, what

Emily Soccorsy:

we're getting rid of instead of.

Emily Soccorsy:

I know I just can get so easily sucked into the like, oh yeah, oh, you're

Emily Soccorsy:

already done with your shopping.

Emily Soccorsy:

And then you feel like shit cuz you're like, oh, I haven't even started.

Emily Soccorsy:

But that comparison and, and that it is a lack of self-compassion.

Emily Soccorsy:

And, and we also miss the chance to celebrate one another when we're like,

Emily Soccorsy:

if we don't give encouragement for like, oh, cool, you're not going to that party.

Emily Soccorsy:

Me neither , yay us.

Emily Soccorsy:

We're saying no.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

yes.

Emily Soccorsy:

the philosophical sense, but you know, it's

Emily Soccorsy:

difficult in the practice.

Emily Soccorsy:

It's really difficult because we're straining against

Emily Soccorsy:

who we think we are, right?

Emily Soccorsy:

I'm the person that gets all this stuff done.

Emily Soccorsy:

No, I'm actually not that person, cuz now I'm not getting that stuff done.

Emily Soccorsy:

But even the snail or the slower pace part, that's not even the real me.

Emily Soccorsy:

Like I'm underneath all of all of those constructs.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah, I think identity plays a big part in it, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Like, so many people ask.

Sonya Stattmann:

what have you got going on?

Sonya Stattmann:

What do you like?

Sonya Stattmann:

if I'm around people, there's a pressure to be doing something.

Sonya Stattmann:

There's a, you know, and I never know how to answer anyone anymore.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like, you know how things going or, you know, I'll have, I have a few

Sonya Stattmann:

people I meet with, like, I have a few other coaches sometimes that I meet

Sonya Stattmann:

with, you know, every few weeks and.

Sonya Stattmann:

And they were like planning and they're doing all their business stuff and

Sonya Stattmann:

they're like, so what's going on with you?

Sonya Stattmann:

And I always feel like, well, , you know, I don't know, not much.

Sonya Stattmann:

I mean, there are things, there are things of course, but you know, it's, it's like

Sonya Stattmann:

the whole world's wire to question this.

Sonya Stattmann:

And you know, right now I think about my, my daughter who's 20.

Sonya Stattmann:

And she's not going to college right now and she's doesn't have a job right now.

Sonya Stattmann:

She can't actually technically work here in Mexico at the moment.

Sonya Stattmann:

And you know, everywhere she goes, people are like, well, what are you doing?

Sonya Stattmann:

Are you going to college?

Sonya Stattmann:

Are you doing this?

Sonya Stattmann:

Do you have a job?

Sonya Stattmann:

What's happening?

Sonya Stattmann:

You know?

Sonya Stattmann:

And.

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm trying to help her cuz she feels so much, shame around that.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like there should be something that she's doing and you know, and I just

Sonya Stattmann:

keep encouraging her to just honor where she's at, which is just like,

Sonya Stattmann:

this is a time of figuring things out.

Sonya Stattmann:

This is a time to decide what she wants to do, but there's

Sonya Stattmann:

not a lot of permission in that.

Sonya Stattmann:

You know, a lot of people just have so much pressure and expectations

Sonya Stattmann:

that we should be doing.

Sonya Stattmann:

Thing.

Sonya Stattmann:

And, and I can feel that in myself too, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Every time someone asks me the question, you know, what do I say?

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm, I'm resting.

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm in a season of rest.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Like, I, I think I'm gonna start doing that, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

But,

Emily Soccorsy:

To fire that one off.

Emily Soccorsy:

Yes.

Sonya Stattmann:

it's not natural though, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

It's not what we're programmed to do.

Emily Soccorsy:

Mm-hmm.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Well, and sometimes people might, you

Laura Shook-Guzman:

know, say, oh wow, that's great.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

What are you doing after that , you know, it's like we're still

Laura Shook-Guzman:

always looking and, and it's

Laura Shook-Guzman:

such this cultural story, this

Laura Shook-Guzman:

collective story.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so I think it, it starts with, you know, What you just said.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

We're all celebrating each other on this call.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

We're celebrating rest for

Laura Shook-Guzman:

our listeners and and finding these different little

Laura Shook-Guzman:

pockets of community that do

Laura Shook-Guzman:

remind you, oh, you're valuable right there.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Laying there resting instead of that

Laura Shook-Guzman:

value, always being like, okay, yeah, rest, and let's get back to

Laura Shook-Guzman:

your productivity and that value.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And, and I think, you know, it's internal.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's that

Laura Shook-Guzman:

internal know your value.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

But it so helps when you have people around you celebrating your

Laura Shook-Guzman:

value for knowing your limits.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And like you, you know, had said Emily, setting boundaries like.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

That's a beautiful thing to do, you know?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And if we say, oh, I see you there.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Good job.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

You just said yes to yourself, even though it was a hard no to your family or to that

Laura Shook-Guzman:

client.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so I think it's just been, I know it's been a really important

Laura Shook-Guzman:

piece for me to surround myself with

Laura Shook-Guzman:

people.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Hint, hint, Sonya Staman right here.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like she, and she's been a, a great, um, you know, collaborator, little

Laura Shook-Guzman:

coasts, nails, um, because we've been

Laura Shook-Guzman:

able to, keep encouraging

Laura Shook-Guzman:

each

Laura Shook-Guzman:

other, and.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that's huge.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

it, just goes a long

Laura Shook-Guzman:

way for the listeners that are thinking, you know, who's who's your, who's your,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

um, snail accountability partner.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Instead of it being your like, productivity, accountability,

Sonya Stattmann:

Yes.

Sonya Stattmann:

That's good.

Sonya Stattmann:

We should all have one of those.

Sonya Stattmann:

I

Emily Soccorsy:

A hundred percent.

Emily Soccorsy:

Yeah.

Emily Soccorsy:

I think the further I've gotten into entrepreneurship, the further I've

Emily Soccorsy:

moved away, like I went into all those constructs about, oh, this is

Emily Soccorsy:

a time of year that you have to set.

Emily Soccorsy:

Goals and you gotta make sure this, and like the further I've gotten

Emily Soccorsy:

into it, I just go back to like slow and steady wins the race.

Emily Soccorsy:

Like that's just sort of me like, I'll be the turtle, you said snail,

Emily Soccorsy:

but I'm like, I'm kind of like the turtle and you may underestimate me

Emily Soccorsy:

cuz I'm just moving pretty slowly.

Emily Soccorsy:

But at some point I know that I'm gonna knock your socks off, but that's

Emily Soccorsy:

not gonna be the result of winning the race like, I was the littlest,

Emily Soccorsy:

like, I'm not gonna win the race.

Emily Soccorsy:

I'm not gonna be the strongest, shortest one on the basketball team.

Emily Soccorsy:

But my defense was really good.

Emily Soccorsy:

Like I think that there's also celebrating the wins in that, like

Emily Soccorsy:

the fact that if you're moving slower, you're gonna see a lot more.

Emily Soccorsy:

you'll be able to take in the, the surroundings better.

Emily Soccorsy:

You know, just little I, that's sort of, um, you know, allegorical for

Emily Soccorsy:

the, for the tortoise of the snail.

Emily Soccorsy:

But I think we overlook what comes to us when we resist kind of just speeding

Emily Soccorsy:

ahead or we resist what is expected of us.

Emily Soccorsy:

Sort of that joy of missing out kind of idea.

Belinda Haan:

Mm, absolutely.

Belinda Haan:

And, and the productivity that comes out of doing nothing.

Belinda Haan:

, do you find that as well, all of the creative ideas and.

Belinda Haan:

That we can, well, I can just sit there and just, you know,

Belinda Haan:

try and perfect and come up with these solutions and everything.

Belinda Haan:

And then when I give up and, you know, I'm on a long walk

Belinda Haan:

or in the shower or whatever, that's when, when it comes to me.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yeah,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

same here.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yeah.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And isn't that funny?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and we forget that It's like it

Laura Shook-Guzman:

happens

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and we forget.

Sonya Stattmann:

yeah.

Belinda Haan:

we do.

Emily Soccorsy:

You said earlier though, too, Laura, that, and I

Emily Soccorsy:

wrote this down, rest is not safe to us, and that just, Ooh, that hit

Emily Soccorsy:

because I like, I feel that sense

Emily Soccorsy:

of vulnerability and maybe that's what's connecting for me too.

Emily Soccorsy:

It's like, here I am just vulnerable.

Emily Soccorsy:

I can't put my identity in what I'm getting done or what

Emily Soccorsy:

I'm doing for other people.

Emily Soccorsy:

Right.

Sonya Stattmann:

Mm.

Emily Soccorsy:

I can't run that load of laundry And feel good while

Emily Soccorsy:

watching tv, but I'm also doing this other thing for someone else, that's

Emily Soccorsy:

not available if I'm truly resting.

Emily Soccorsy:

And that's uncomfortable.

Emily Soccorsy:

You know, as you're saying, Sonya like makes you look at things or

Emily Soccorsy:

choose yourself, and that's hard.

Emily Soccorsy:

That's so hard to choose

Belinda Haan:

mm.

Sonya Stattmann:

Well, and I, I can definitely, probably remember a lot

Sonya Stattmann:

of experience of shame for slowing down or resting, taking care of myself

Sonya Stattmann:

for not being productive, for not getting things done, for not, you know,

Sonya Stattmann:

producing, like, there's a huge amount of shame I have internally from that.

Sonya Stattmann:

And, and that's where my kind of unsafety is.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right.

Sonya Stattmann:

If I'm not producing, if I'm not getting things done, if I'm not, you

Sonya Stattmann:

know, having results, then you know something's inherently wrong with me.

Sonya Stattmann:

Something is shameful about me, and, and it pulls up those feelings.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I've experienced a lot of that activation lately, you know, as I am,

Sonya Stattmann:

you know, still fighting, but also, you know, allowing myself to slow down.

Sonya Stattmann:

There's a lot of activation of shame that's been happening

Sonya Stattmann:

and you know, I've had to

Sonya Stattmann:

be with it, you know, so back to what you were saying earlier, Laura is like, being

Sonya Stattmann:

with it is part of that process, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Part, like the permission and the willingness to be with

Sonya Stattmann:

whatever shows up as you slow down is a piece of this journey.

Sonya Stattmann:

And it's a really important piece.

Sonya Stattmann:

And you know, I've had.

Sonya Stattmann:

To be willing to face a lot of that shame.

Sonya Stattmann:

And that is hard.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like, to me, that's the hardest stuff to face.

Sonya Stattmann:

and, there's a lot of it, right.

Sonya Stattmann:

And it, it really has helped me understand why I kept myself so busy.

Sonya Stattmann:

Why I always strive for more, why I was willing to work myself

Sonya Stattmann:

into the ground to accomplish things is because I was running.

Sonya Stattmann:

right.

Sonya Stattmann:

And not really running to something as much as I claimed, as much as I

Sonya Stattmann:

pretended to be running to something, I was running from that feeling.

Sonya Stattmann:

And so it's been really interesting to have to like finally face it and

Sonya Stattmann:

finally work with it and be with it and, you know, it's still a hard process.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yeah, And it's taken time.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And that's what I think is important is we're talking about shifting

Laura Shook-Guzman:

something we've been conditioned.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's not a light switch, you know?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yet once you start to.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

To shine that light on it, that awareness.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Then you have more and more, I think, choice of kind of in the moment

Laura Shook-Guzman:

feeling, being aware of like, oh, I really wanna give myself permission

Laura Shook-Guzman:

to rest, but I have a lot of shame around that, or I have discomfort about

Laura Shook-Guzman:

what I'm gonna feel when I do rest.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Or you just start to at least get to understand what is that story.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

That you keep telling yourself about rest and then you, once you're

Laura Shook-Guzman:

starting to unpack that one, you can be like, oh, and how much of that

Laura Shook-Guzman:

story is externally driven and how much have I internalized from family?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Or, you know, so there's just so much to be said about.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Just looking at rest, it's like,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

why is it such a complicated relationship that we are having

Laura Shook-Guzman:

with something so innately human?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I mean, we need rest.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's so, it's as just as important as water and oxygen and, you know,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and yet we have this complicated

Laura Shook-Guzman:

relationship with it.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

You know, it really reminds me, it's, it's something that really hit me as

Sonya Stattmann:

I've been, um, studying more about, you know, our nervous system And

Sonya Stattmann:

trauma and these different things.

Sonya Stattmann:

somebody I was listening to was talking about how, you know, our naturals.

Sonya Stattmann:

State is the rest.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right?

Sonya Stattmann:

The, the activation is something we do in the moment of trauma, in the

Sonya Stattmann:

moment of something happening right?

Sonya Stattmann:

that's that's like our natural state, you know, in terms of,

Sonya Stattmann:

facing something that's scary or facing something that's threatening.

Sonya Stattmann:

But rest is actually where we should be all the time.

Sonya Stattmann:

And then that par, the sympathetic or the activation is really

Sonya Stattmann:

just like occasionally when we are so opposite, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

We are activated all the time.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like that's what I'm really realizing as I slow down, is I'm actually

Sonya Stattmann:

in activation and hyper vigi.

Sonya Stattmann:

All the time, but I have, I've maintained it.

Sonya Stattmann:

I've managed it right.

Sonya Stattmann:

I've, kind of shelved it under this idea that I'm calm and that

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm centered and, but like the more awareness I open up, I'm like,

Sonya Stattmann:

wow, I'm activated all the time.

Sonya Stattmann:

And so we've really, Switch such a our nature, and that really

Sonya Stattmann:

hit me as like, wow, you know, biologically we're really off ,like,

Sonya Stattmann:

we're really off.

Sonya Stattmann:

You know,

Sonya Stattmann:

it's a powerful realization.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

my gosh.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I love that so much.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Thank you for that reflection.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I'm gonna actually kind of use that to, I

Laura Shook-Guzman:

was thinking, you know, to explain base camp, which is like

Laura Shook-Guzman:

baseline should really be, yeah.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Is is your parasympathetic there?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

There you are, base camp, then you gotta climb the mountain, you gotta

Laura Shook-Guzman:

hike, you gotta get somewhere that then you mobilize and your sympathetic

Laura Shook-Guzman:

nervous system will come on to get you mobilized and get you going.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

But then, you know, The

Laura Shook-Guzman:

ability to return to that base camp, return to baseline, that

Laura Shook-Guzman:

is your resilience right there.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's like, cuz you're gonna constantly be activated and charged.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And those are the words we use.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Activation charge, uh, you know, it's like something is, is

Laura Shook-Guzman:

actually mobilizing, but it's often the temporary state cuz then you come

Laura Shook-Guzman:

back after that, you rest and you're.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Just, you know, and rest cannot be, it doesn't mean sleep.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

People get that confused.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's like, yes, we need eight hours of, of sleep at night, at, at least,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and most Americans get four to six, just saying, but we need that sleep.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

But that's also, you know, rest is like sitting calmly.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

We have to be actually in parasympathetic to digest our food properly, to

Laura Shook-Guzman:

get all the nutrition from our food to be able

Laura Shook-Guzman:

to like eat is to

Laura Shook-Guzman:

be resting and how many people are

Laura Shook-Guzman:

eating?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like in an activated, sympathetic aroused state.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So it's really interesting when you start looking through that lens

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and realize how most people will, if they report how, what state they're

Laura Shook-Guzman:

in, they're in sympathetic more often

Laura Shook-Guzman:

throughout

Laura Shook-Guzman:

their day.

Belinda Haan:

Mm.

Belinda Haan:

And Laura, you've just helped me get an insight in terms of

Belinda Haan:

what's been happening for me.

Belinda Haan:

I've been.

Belinda Haan:

Sympathetic rest , if that's a, if that's a thing.

Belinda Haan:

like I've been activated, like just I need to rest and I dunno

Belinda Haan:

what rest is and, but I'm sort of like, it's, it's rest as an action.

Belinda Haan:

Like I'm, I'm doing rest as opposed to.

Belinda Haan:

It embodied being rest . So I've somehow like activated my sympathetic

Belinda Haan:

nervous system probably because, you know, my default, my network can be a,

Belinda Haan:

like a difficult place to be in rest.

Belinda Haan:

Um, but yeah, that's, that's really, yeah.

Belinda Haan:

It's really interesting to sort of reflect on different ways I guess,

Belinda Haan:

that we do go into rest and what are the barriers and everything as.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Mm-hmm.

Sonya Stattmann:

I think that's

Sonya Stattmann:

a really good point because I think a lot of times we're in activated rest, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Like, you know, we're, we're binging, we're actually disconnecting

Sonya Stattmann:

or disassociating, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Like we call it rest, but it's like an activation.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's not really in our parasympathetic, it's not really in.

Sonya Stattmann:

State it's not really enjoying things, you know, it really being

Sonya Stattmann:

embodied and experiencing whatever.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's like we're in this like activated and that's what I've noticed about myself

Sonya Stattmann:

a lot of times when I, I look calm and I look like I'm resting, but my body's in

Sonya Stattmann:

like freeze or my body is in constriction and I'm like, Ooh, I'm actually activated.

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm not in rest right now.

Sonya Stattmann:

, and, and so, you know, that's a really.

Sonya Stattmann:

Point I think it is to make, cuz you know, as we're exploring the

Sonya Stattmann:

subject, you know, what is active rest or what is rest for us, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Being able to discern that a lot of times what we're calling rest is not

Sonya Stattmann:

giving us the recovery that we need.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

A hundred

Laura Shook-Guzman:

percent.

Emily Soccorsy:

Yeah, I think that's a key piece, like

Emily Soccorsy:

knowing what recovery, knowing.

Emily Soccorsy:

Your recovery looks like and easing into that.

Emily Soccorsy:

Like I find at the end of my days, I don't feel necessarily, like while

Emily Soccorsy:

I'm sitting at my desk finishing up, I don't feel necessarily stressed,

Emily Soccorsy:

but the minute I step outside to take the dog for a walk, I'm like, oh my

Emily Soccorsy:

God, , I was holding all of this right?

Emily Soccorsy:

I feel in my body.

Emily Soccorsy:

And then I notice Theos and the cactus run, and I feel now I'm starting to like.

Emily Soccorsy:

Come down, I'm starting to recover.

Emily Soccorsy:

understanding what our recoveries look like can go a long way.

Emily Soccorsy:

Like I'm, I'm wondering about that as we're having this conversation

Emily Soccorsy:

and if we all had a good idea of what does recovery look like and maybe by

Emily Soccorsy:

calling it recovery, we, we removed some of the stigma around rest and

Emily Soccorsy:

the feelings of guilt and, but we all.

Emily Soccorsy:

Recover.

Emily Soccorsy:

And that's a daily practice cuz it's a daily onslaught of what

Emily Soccorsy:

we're taking on without realizing it

Sonya Stattmann:

We're climbing that hill a

Sonya Stattmann:

lot, Laura, we're

Sonya Stattmann:

climbing that hill.

Sonya Stattmann:

. Laura Shook-Guzman: Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

We need to come down, come down the hill,

Sonya Stattmann:

you know?

Sonya Stattmann:

And

Sonya Stattmann:

if anything

Emily Soccorsy:

and down, up and down, up and down.

Sonya Stattmann:

right.

Sonya Stattmann:

You know, and if anything, I hope you know, this episode just inspires, or

Sonya Stattmann:

you know, even offers some permission.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right.

Sonya Stattmann:

For all of

Sonya Stattmann:

us.

Sonya Stattmann:

To take that recovery path, to take that rest to figure out what we

Sonya Stattmann:

need, especially during this holiday seasons, which does bring such a

Sonya Stattmann:

mix of emotions for most of us.

Sonya Stattmann:

Um, and I think it's really important to rest.

Sonya Stattmann:

So, you know, as we wrap up today's episode, which I love, um, I'd love

Sonya Stattmann:

to just hear from each one of you, anything you'd like to share with the

Sonya Stattmann:

listeners as we wrap up the season.

Sonya Stattmann:

Anything you'd like to share?

Sonya Stattmann:

Um, or anything about the topic we're talking about today, which, In recovery.

Sonya Stattmann:

What do you think?

Emily Soccorsy:

Something jumps into my mind and.

Emily Soccorsy:

. you know, I think the idea of reclaiming

Emily Soccorsy:

recovery, in our culture, in the dialogue, sometimes the, the mindset.

Emily Soccorsy:

We need to do more.

Emily Soccorsy:

We need to do better.

Emily Soccorsy:

We need to change this.

Emily Soccorsy:

And I would just offer to our audience, if at any point during this season, you know,

Emily Soccorsy:

you felt that tug, acknowledge it, but know that you are complete and whole all

Emily Soccorsy:

within yourself, and you don't have to do anything different, to reclaim yourself.

Emily Soccorsy:

I mean, even just listening and actively is a form of that.

Emily Soccorsy:

So, I would just offer that up to our audience and just a lot of gratitude in

Emily Soccorsy:

my heart for taking us along on your walks and allowing us to have that conversation

Emily Soccorsy:

and reassure you, Hey, you're enough.

Sonya Stattmann:

Hmm.

Sonya Stattmann:

beautiful.

Belinda Haan:

So I just, yeah.

Belinda Haan:

I'm so grateful for having this opportunity today.

Belinda Haan:

It feels like, um, self therapy for me, . So thank you

Belinda Haan:

. Um, and just, yeah, really grateful to

Belinda Haan:

And, you know, one of the things that has.

Belinda Haan:

Has arisen for me through doing this.

Belinda Haan:

Um, this podcast has been, it's been

Belinda Haan:

reclaiming myself journey, it, um, you

Belinda Haan:

know, it's been joyful and it's also seen, I've seen the ways that I am continuing

Belinda Haan:

to abandon myself and all of that.

Belinda Haan:

And so I just, I guess I just want to reiterate that this is a journey that

Belinda Haan:

never ends and, the best partner we can have on this is compassion, because that

Belinda Haan:

is, the, the partnership that we can have as we navigate forgetting and remembering,

Belinda Haan:

you know, resting and not resting.

Belinda Haan:

that is how we can, Do this Well, I guess, and make it easier.

Belinda Haan:

Um, and then I've also recognized as I've been learning so much about

Belinda Haan:

compassion, that resistance and compassion cannot co, they cannot exist together.

Belinda Haan:

so if we're having trouble accessing compassion, Then asking what are

Belinda Haan:

we resisting about our direct experience, either internally or

Belinda Haan:

externally, and, and start there.

Belinda Haan:

rather than trying to seek compassion, which is, you know, I've done that too,

Belinda Haan:

. thank you so much everyone for listening.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And yeah, I would really just like to kind of conclude

Laura Shook-Guzman:

this conversation by reflecting on something that Emily said actually

Laura Shook-Guzman:

with the embracing the Mary and the melancholy of this season.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I think that that is very well applied to life and being in rest and

Laura Shook-Guzman:

being with being with ourselves in order to allow that deeper recoveries that.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

That joy that, you know, once we slow down, we reconnect to ourselves

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and there's so much magic that comes from connection with ourselves and

Laura Shook-Guzman:

others, and there's a lot of joy that we can experience at a deeper level.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And also knowing that the melancholy will also be there, that sitting

Laura Shook-Guzman:

with the self isn't always easy.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It can bring up memories or reflections or, or things that you don't

Laura Shook-Guzman:

always feel comfortable being with.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yet, it's my belief that embracing all of that is how we move into a deeper

Laura Shook-Guzman:

connection with ourselves and create more capacity for being in the world,

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah, really beautiful.

Sonya Stattmann:

I love that from everybody.

Sonya Stattmann:

And

Sonya Stattmann:

you know, I really appreciate this opportunity to be with you all.

Sonya Stattmann:

You know, both the listeners and the co-hosts.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like, it has been a really amazing season of discovery and exploration,

Sonya Stattmann:

unpacking things, you know, and I think for myself, it's really been a lot of,

Sonya Stattmann:

I think giving myself permission, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Like I feel like that's what I've taken from the season.

Sonya Stattmann:

Permission to just be where I'm at, permission to rest,

Sonya Stattmann:

permission to slow down.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like, you know, I really feel that so much of reclaiming myself

Sonya Stattmann:

right now has been about that.

Sonya Stattmann:

You know, permission because I feel like if I can't get honest about what I

Sonya Stattmann:

really need and who I really am and how my energy operates, right, it's really

Sonya Stattmann:

not an honest reclaiming myself, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

And so I feel like I've had that, you know, ability to recognize that through

Sonya Stattmann:

all these conversations and through all these connections and, you know, it's

Sonya Stattmann:

just been a really great opportunity.

Belinda Haan:

Hmm.

Belinda Haan:

Thank you, Sonya.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah.

Belinda Haan:

Thank you for gathering us

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah, and thank you to all the listeners for being here and you

Sonya Stattmann:

know, we hope you've enjoyed this season.

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm sure we will have another season and some great episodes

Sonya Stattmann:

that we do, you know, next year.

Sonya Stattmann:

So you know, in the meantime, I really encourage you to honor

Sonya Stattmann:

yourself and rest and recover, and we will see you next year.

Sonya Stattmann:

I hope you enjoyed this week's episode of reclaiming ourselves, looking

Sonya Stattmann:

for a speaker for your organization, or wanna dive deeper into the

Sonya Stattmann:

process of reclaiming yourself.

Sonya Stattmann:

I would love an opportunity to work with you.

Sonya Stattmann:

You can find more about my services, read articles and listen to all of my

Sonya Stattmann:

podcast episodes@sonyastattmann.com Have an amazing day.

Sonya Stattmann:

And thanks for listening.

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