Shownotes
M. Aurelius Higgs - Works with Certain Future to support parent of preteens so they can show up and maintain a meaningful relationship with their child during these natural Identity breaking years.
He works with parents who know the value of doing hard things and want to be present with their child before it's too late to bridge the gap.
He offers a yearlong coaching service called "The SHOW UP Framework: Nurturing Your Preteens Potential" where experts come and help train parents how to communicate and connect with their preteen.
workshop.marcushiggs.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcushiggs/
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Transcripts
Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Hi and welcome to the You World order showcase. Podcast I'm your host, Jill Hart. And with us today we have Marcus Aurelius Higgs.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: He works with a certain future to support parents, preteens, so that they can show up and maintain a meaningful relationship with their child. During these natural identity. Breaking years. He works with parents who know the value of doing the hard things and want to be present with their child before it's too late to bridge that gap.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Welcome to the show, Marcus. It's really great to have you here.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Wonderful to be here, Jill. Thank you for
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: your bright smile, and I'm looking forward to this conversation. Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I am, too. We we started to have a little bit of it before we we had started recording. But 1st tell us your story. How did you get started in this
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: on this path?
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Wow! So when a man loves a woman and they have a special hug.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Well, I've.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Well, well, that man was from the Bahamas, and that woman was from the Philippines. So I grew up as a 3rd culture kid, and for your audience that don't know. That's when your passport or the
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: kind of you grew up in doesn't match that of your parents.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: So they usually grew up with not conflicting idea. I, identity. But
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: multiple identities i'd say.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I grew up in I was born in California, grew up sometime in Alabama.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: When I was 12 I moved to the Bahamas, and I grew up here with my father.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: studied journalism. So that's where communication comes in went abroad to actually be a teacher missionary in South Korea.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I say my understanding of the divine expanded, and I didn't want to
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: preach anything. I didn't necessarily believe
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: so. I have no animosity towards the Church, but my my understanding of what the divine was changed.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and I taught in Saudi, Arabia.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: South Korea.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Thailand. And now I'm back in the Bahamas
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: with my aging parents. But
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I have a set of skills which is communication. And I oh, I was a teacher, a k, 12 teacher.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and these are the conversations I would have with parent teachers in
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I. I used to teach English grade 9 and grade 12. And then I did teach 5th grade those pivotal years.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And Mr. Rogers said, If you want to help the kids, you support the parents, and that's what I do now. It's very unique, but it's very, very intentional on what I'm doing.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and I want to stay in the game long enough that the 5th graders that I taught
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: can use the same principles that I share with people today. This is all about human development.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Yeah, that's so great. I
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I know this one instructor. He's a teacher at a alternative school.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: he was in his eighties when he finally retired, but he had, like a whole bunch of careers before he he became part of this. He was an alternative. He was part of the alternative school.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and which I plugged my kids into my my 3 younger kids into to get their high school diploma
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and this gentleman
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: there were 4 male teachers, because primarily the kids that went to the school struggled
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: because they didn't have parents who had somebody like you to come along and say, Hey, if you really work with your kids when they're young.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and recognize that when they're getting to be pre teens, that they need your help more than ever
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: right then.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: They don't need you to do stuff for them, but they really need you to be their cheerleader, and a
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: just keep nudging them in the right direction, because they'll wander off.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Yeah, yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Even half a chance.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: But
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: you you reminded me of that because you were he. He would tell stories, and everybody loved this man. He taught English also.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Yeah, yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Really disconnected from, like most people because he he was like their great grandfather, not even just like their grandfather. He was that that old.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: You know. I came out of English class one time, and I told our cheer person. I said, you know English class feels a lot like therapy.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: No.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And he said, that's why we call it the humanities, Marcus. We're teaching them how to be human.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And then, when you look at Gabrimate. He used to be a language teacher as well as ecker tole.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: they're they're just yeah.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: You're learning about characters. And you're learning about how people show up in the world their desires.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: their challenges, and then the refinement of who they are. That's that's what all this is.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: In in English.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: You often get them told through stories. I think it just a well written story shows you all of the the challenges.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: And I I think that's why greeting is so important for young people
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: like that.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Actually 1 1 thing that started me on the journey I didn't mention. So I have a question board in my room because, the quality of your questions. If you write it on there, your subconscious will answer it
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: right.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And one of the questions on the board was, How do I teach Grade 9 to write the greatest story ever told.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and for me, what that means to me is.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I believe you are the audience. You are the author, and you're the actor all in the same. You are the universe experiencing itself. But you're doing it from a creative position, and you're observing yourself
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: as well as you're directing the attention and so on. So for me.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: that means.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: yeah, how how do I bring them into an understanding? They are the protagonists as well as their collaborators with other people on stage.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And that's their life. That that is the greatest story ever told to your life.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: And change the ending anytime you want.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and you can just, you know, when life is giving you lemons, you can, you know, plot, twist and do something different.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Jill.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: We did not have this conversation before. But
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: can I? Can I share one thing with you?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Yeah.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: It's so beautiful.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: So this is the goodbye book. That's what I was
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: whole time. My 5th graders wrote this for me when I was leaving.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And it's it's filled with stick figures and little. I'll show you. Here
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: they were on stage.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: They were on stage presenting this to me at the end of the year. And, Penny, he said, turn to the last page, turn to the last page. They filled it with quotes like pinterest.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And the last one said.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: You of all people, deserve a happy ending.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And I thought about it, and it wasn't doubt but, like just the critical, thinking mind I was like, Do I deserve a happy ending? And I said, Yeah, Yeah, I do.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And then it said,
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: how do you? How do you have a happy ending?
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And a still, small voice said, You write it.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and and right when it said you write it. I choked up a bit right as a writer, because it's just like, Yeah, no, you write it.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And when I choked up a bit Penny goes up.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Are you crying.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and then she proceeded to hug me right now. You never deny a kid a hug you don't initiate, but you don't deny it right, and I I got down on my knee, and then all the 5th graders. They crowded around me, and they huddled around me, and they
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: was like cuteness over.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I'm going to cry from the cuteness overload.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And that. And that's why, yeah, that's
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I have to stay in the game long enough for them. I'm looking forward to watching this podcast to hear that story again, because it's it's a constant reminder. Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Yeah. And and so, how do you help parents when it comes to
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: coaching them to
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: to work with their kids?
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Don't work.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I help them put their oxygen mask on first.st
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: one thing. While I was putting together the framework, the show up framework is show up.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: That's something that I heard time and again, especially from entrepreneurial parents.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: help them be regulated, and because it's communication, I help them understand what's expected at this stage of development.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Oftentimes we hear that there's this wonderful book from Alan Galansky.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: It's called The Breakthrough Years
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: she's a psychologist.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: she's interviewing parents talking about teenagers.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and one word that they kept on using to describe them was immature.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And and the thing is
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: We don't call a toddler an immature child.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and we don't call a child an immature adolescence.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: But we're calling these teenagers and adolescents immature. It's like, No, no, no! At this developmental stage
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: there's there's an approach.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: They're they're teenaging. That's what they're doing. And when you understand.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Age, appropriate behavior.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Age, appropriate behavior. And when you understand that that can open up the communication between you and them, and that's why there's a lot of tension and contention at this age.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and and understandably so. But when when you can understand why.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: you can communicate that understanding, you could be a bit more graceful to the other person.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and as the adult in the room, he set the tone.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I like to explore the expectations we have of children.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: And we're experiencing this with one of my grand, my granddaughters. She
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: her mom caught her with her boyfriend.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: My daughter is is very much
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: biblically oriented in terms of
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: chastity until you're married, and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: you'll do the same thing. You know I
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I, too, have expanded my
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: idea of what
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: all that is is
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: but for a large part of of the time I was raising her. I I would pound on that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: you know. Save it till you're married. Save it till you're married.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: No, I didn't.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and she didn't, and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: it's like.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: why do we say these things? I was laughing.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: but I have 2 daughters, one is 43, and one is 20, so.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Hold on one second. Sorry!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: And.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Can. Can you go back? Just a few more few seconds. I didn't get that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I have 2 daughters.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: one's 42, and one's 20.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: There's 21 years age difference.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: So
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: when the 1st one was growing up and becoming a teenager. I was all about the, you know. Oh, no, don't do that. It's
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: terrible. You just save it till you're married.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: She's the one that's having the problems with the daughter.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: my youngest.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: it's like.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: if you know, you're gonna do what you're gonna do.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Just be careful. And
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: you know there are consequences
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: for all of your actions.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: And so
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: she is like.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Yeah, she's
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: she's so
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: together. I've learned so much from that child. But the oldest one. I'm just like shaking my head. Going. Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I don't know why we we instill these rules on our kids that
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: there's it's kind of silly.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Well, we didn't follow them ourselves. Why do we think they're gonna follow them?
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Well, you know.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: So 2 things come to mind 1st is, I believe, everybody.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and especially parents, are doing the best they can with what they have.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Yeah, like, when when you were doing what you were doing, it's just
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: you were doing the best you can with what you had, and you had a certain set of values values. Meaning what's important to you?
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Yeah, that's what simply values means.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: there's a reason you asked her to say that till marriage, or you believe that
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: for whatever reason that is, you know it personally.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and you can share that with another person.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: because it is your understanding of life and your approach to it. Now, where a lot of parents do trip up is.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And again, I respect anybody's approach to parenting. So this is not advice, but
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: in human development. You can't control another person.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Exactly.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: You can set parameters you can set. Hey? This is alignment. You can set rules and boundaries, and you could say, Hey, in my house. This is what I'm asking, and out of mutual respect for your wellbeing, because I'm keeping you safe. And this is why I believe it. This is. This is why I hold these values.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and there will be consequences as you.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Now. This is very rational, I know, inside
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: inside the moment, with energy and emotions. Yes, it's a it's a whole different context. But
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: yeah, you can't control another.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And and the the approach of parenting that I do follow now is
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: is automative, supportive parenting.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: because during preteens they're transitioning into independence. So in their transition to independence.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I want you to have a full expression of yourself yet. I am going to set boundaries around you.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and I will support you in the full expression of it, and there will be moments when I don't support you if it doesn't align.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: But I want you to understand
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: the beauty inside you to let that flow out because it's it's emergent. That's what parenting the etymology or the root of the word parenting and educate means means to bring forth.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: So we create the context for that flourishing to happen.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Boundaries for it to happen in. And
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and while things that
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: kids do might have consequences, they will have consequences.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: It's a letting them know that
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: if you take this course of action, this is a likely consequence. You're going to suffer
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: versus. And it doesn't. It's not a judgment on who you are. It's just
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: this is what happens.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: You put a pot of water on the stove to boil. It will boil.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: It might not happen immediately, but eventually it's going to boil.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: If you decide you're going to be really promiscuous and not protect yourself.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: You're going to end up pregnant.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: It's just the way nature works.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: He might get lucky a few times. But you know.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: for the general picture.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: that's how we were designed to keep the species going.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: hey? I'm not. I'm not making up the rules here. I'm just letting you know
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: but what the consequences are of playing the game.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and it doesn't make you a bad person, if you know, if you choose this course of action, and you suffer some consequences that you don't like. It doesn't mean you're a bad person. It just means you're going to have to make some different decisions now
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: that you may or may not want to make. And those decisions are also going to have consequences.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I say? Well, yes, yes, yes, the the thing is.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: the teenage mind
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: is not absorbing. All of that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: No.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And the reason it's not absorbing. That is because it is. It is sensation seeking because we're trying to figure out who we are and figure out we are the universe experiencing itself. So you are trying to feel. And that's why the highs are high and the lows are low
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: in your.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: You're going oscillating between those 2 and also
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Sometimes we don't trust our parents, and it's not in a bad way, but because we understand there's other perspectives in the world, and you've been telling me something this whole time
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: that I know there are other ways of approaching life. Now.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I don't know if everything you're saying is 100%.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: So they get very skeptical, especially in pre adolescence. That's where they start to lose
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: somewhat of the trust. If depending on the relationship depending on the dynamic of the relationship. But yeah.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: the reason I work with preteens is so that you can establish that trust at an early age.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: so that when those harder conversations do come.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: you you have a little bit of Trust accrued if you will.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: or you have something in the bank.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: How did I go down with your daughter? Sorry. Sorry. Go on.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: How to, what.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: How'd it go down with your daughter like? What was the conversation had, or.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: When I.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Something recent.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Caught her fooling around with her boyfriend, or the the other part.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Granddaughter.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: click grander.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Actually I heard that second hand through my son. I thought it was hilarious. I just this is like.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: because with my daughter I caught her with her boyfriend
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: in this little tiny apartment we were living in, and I was like 8 months pregnant.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: like.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: You just wait, honey. She was 16 when
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: when the my oldest of the youngest was born, and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: she she
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: caught on after he came
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: to. Oh, this is this, is not.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: This is not something that I want to do.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Cause when you're when you're 16 and your mom has another kid.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: you're suddenly like.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Oh, we're up all night. This child doesn't want to sleep.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Both of us.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Sure. Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: she she had to suffer with it, too. I was like.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Small apartment.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: So
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: yeah, I just
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: there's, there's.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: there's a strategy. And
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: in having kids and raising them
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: as they get older to allow them to make decisions, small decisions where it doesn't matter.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Decision you make, but getting in the habit of making decisions for themselves.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and you can kind of help them to do that along the way. So that when they get to these bigger decisions
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: they're already comfortable with making a choice and understanding that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: you know.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Do you want to wear a coat today or not? Do you want to wear long socks or short socks?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Do you want to wear shorts or pants?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: You know all of those decisions do have some consequences.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: You know I chose shorts, and it was cold today. So my legs were really chilly all day long.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: It's a silly consequence, but you learn, it's how you learn that decisions have consequences, and you learn how to live with consequences or figure out how you're gonna mitigate those consequences for the decisions you make. But if you start early enough, then
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: then the process is just kind of natural. When you get a little older
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and you can take in information. Some of my kids were really good about
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: listening to the advice I gave them
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and others.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: They just like they wanted to experience it themselves. It's like, Okay, you go dog.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Yeah.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: it's all right. It's all right.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I heard something earlier this week on a podcast.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: The host said.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: it's not that I want my kids to have a better life than I had. It's that I want them to manage stress better than I did.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Love that?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Yes.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And and we're we're talking about there's a book called The Price of Privilege, by Madeleine Vein, Madeleine Levine.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: But in affluent America and America, in itself, comparatively to the rest of the world, is affluent, but a lot of the stress and anxiety is coming from
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: the convenience of it.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and he's like, no, no, I don't want you to have a better life than me.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I want you to manage stress better than me.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: That is so important. We've
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: especially in America. We have all these expectations like, you need to go to school, and you need to make great grades, and you need to do this, and you have to do that. And
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: you have to play sports. And you have to be involved in all these things when you know the reality is. No, you you don't.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: You just have to be the only thing you ever asked to do.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I I experienced that a lot with my second set of kids because I home schooled them. And my idea of home schooling was
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: You do need to learn how to read. We're going to work on that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: You do need to learn the fundamentals of math like adding and subtracting and multiplying and dividing. But beyond that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: if you want to go further, go for it, cause that's as far as I can get you.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: And then
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: they were really self led.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: We lived on a homestead, so there were animals and chores and stuff, a lot of stuff to do outside, and they all did play some sport, and they all had some musical training.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and my youngest daughter she was. She took Karate
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: from her best friend's mom
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: since she was like 7 or 8.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: She's a 3rd degree black Belt now, and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: but she learned so much
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: from that discipline. But we never really did grades or
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: school the way most people do school, but I plug them into an alternative school when they were each 13 and they all graduated by the time they were 16, and they all made straight. A's. So it doesn't really matter so much what you're doing
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: along the way. It's the conversations that you have.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: It's the
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: it's the play, I think.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: being able to play with your.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Okay, so.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Enjoy things.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I'll I'll say yes. And
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: yeah,
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: most definitely the conversations, because
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: we experience life. And to make sense of it, we're had. We're conversing in our head. But as the parent you come in and say, Okay, let me walk along with you and make sense of this or other trusted adults in their life.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Joy, a play. I love that. It's self, directed joy. That's actually what play is. Yeah. And I would also say it. It is what you do, and and I'll say it like this. I want the kid to do them.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: It's like Dolly Parton says, like, figure out who you are and do it on purpose and in home school and in micro schools, because I'm a big supporter of those I I used to mentor when I came out of the classroom.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I'm a big supporter of project, based learning or doing what it is you want to do.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: bumping and bruising yourself and yeah, then we have those conversations like you said, but do you do you? Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: And it's so fun to watch when you approach it that way.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: It's hmm.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I read a I read something about Abraham Lincoln.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: cause. I used to feel a lot of guilt about my home school strategy.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Tear glasses.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: And my husband worried about my kids a lot.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: but he.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Okay.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: You didn't make me make them go to school. So
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I read that Abraham Lincoln had like
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: just a couple of years of schooling. He didn't have very much at all, but he learned everything he needed to learn in about 2 years.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: so that gave me confidence to just forge ahead, and let them be who they were going to be, and explore the things that they were interested in exploring, and they are all game fully employed and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: doing amazingly well. I mean, they.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: You're proud of mama.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I'm so proud, mama. I am just like you guys are amazing human beings, and I'm so proud that you know I am your mother and I laugh at some of the things that happened to you. But
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I I'm right there with you. I I love your kids. They just so interesting humans.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: But
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Hmm.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: 8,
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I think, because of the way they were raised. They're they're just like
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: they're doing the thing that they're gifted to do.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and I can see it
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: in their occupations, especially the boys. The boys are just like
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: they have these gifts. And and they just like.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Wow.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: where'd you get that?
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: That's cool.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I love. I love parents who love. Actually, I'm thinking of starting this. I say, thinking.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: this is, I'm actually going to start this, but I don't know when it's called hey? Guess what my kid did.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and it's a show where parents will call in
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and do a humble brag, but then keeping the identity safe of their kids, and the whole idea is.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: later on
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: they'll play it back for their kid in the car of, just like they're listening to a podcast and in a public space, they're speaking about their kid, of how they're proud of them.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And I think that'd be cool.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I think that'd be cool.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I think that'd be really cool, too. I I think it's need
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: need to understand that they are amazing people. I I just like
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: once you get.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: you can remove yourself from the
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I need you to walk between these lines and to God forbid if you like. You're out because it's gonna embarrass me somehow.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: which ultimately, I think
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: many parents are just afraid of their kids being themselves, because it's going to embarrass them.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: But
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: it doesn't have to
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: you could just like embrace the funniness of who they are or the quirkiness of who they are or the weirdness cause. Some of us are just weird. We're weirdos.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and we're going to embarrass you.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: You know, in in the conscious parenting, in the conscious parenting movement. That's what it it's. It's the idea that our kids are more so a reflection of us, I mean, that's how the
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: world is. Everything in the world. It never is the thing. It's how you relate to it.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: usually the parents who are stressed out doing their kids homework.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: or the parent who is stressed out lying to get their kid into certain universities. It's oftentimes because they feel the world is going to judge them based on their kid.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: But if you could, if you could get over your own judgments.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and again, that comes from self love and not judging the world.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: it makes it. It makes a difference. Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: It's a huge difference. And it's it's a lot less stressful.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Terrific.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: a lot less fighting against the wind. Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Yeah, yeah. Just
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Byron, Kelly says, just loving. What is
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: it's gonna be.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I heard you say, Byron Kelly, but that's not.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Yeah. Kelly, Byron.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: It's Kelly, Byron.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Yeah, no, no. But
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: you dropped out right right when you set it up.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I'm sorry I have a bad Internet connection right now. This is
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: so.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: It's all good.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: You did want me to ask some questions, so I think I will ask those. What are.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Between me.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I'll just pretends at this stage of life.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: You know what I I all I ask of you is to be to disconnect we didn't have a good conversation, but I will answer that the the 3 stressors I usually find are, I call them ice
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: identity breaking. That's what we're talking about. And when I mean identity breaking life continually asks us, who are you?
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And the
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: the way it asks us is by being challenged. When you look at a growth mindset, a growth mindset and a fixed mindset actually look the same until they get punched in the mouth.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Mike Tyson said. Everybody has a plan until you get Punch in the mouth.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Who are you? So it's identity breaking. C is collaborative. Mistrust.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: like life is about collaboration, but at that age they're not sure who to
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: who to trust. So then that's why they are. They do graduate.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: They do gravitate towards
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: other small beings who are insecure themselves and their friends, and them trying to figure it out. That's why social networks are very important during that age.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And E. Emotional management.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Your emotions have 5 things, but one of them is a subjective feeling of what the outside world is. And if you're very sensitive to the outside world, and you're not understanding it.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: that's 1 definition of crazy
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: when your expectation doesn't on the outside doesn't match your expectation on the inside.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: So those are 3. I call them the wall of ice that kids set up during their adolescence. And the way we we melt the ice is by showing up as parents and caregivers and guardians. Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Yeah, and the importance of the family dinner.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Yeah, that's what those conversations happen. Conversions happen in the conversations.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: So how can a parent help with those 3 major problems?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: How can they help melt the ice, so to speak.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: A
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: starts. They show up framework. They show up.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: It's it starts with a strong identity.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: All behavior starts from identity.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And when I say identity, I mean a specific thing. It's virtues and values. Virtues are the 24 characteristic strengths that
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: every human has, all faith, beliefs, all ancient wisdom, present knowledge. This comes from positive psychology. It's called Bia virtues. In action. You can go take the test.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: There are 5 that are uniquely expressed by each person, but everybody has all of them.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And then the values are what's important to you
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: could be friends could be. Finance could be
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: what's important to you at the moment, and if I understand what your virtues and values are, I can tailor a message that is specific for you.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And there's a message that is for specifically for me, because again, I'm working with the parent.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: So I'm trying to virtue Spot. And the thing is, people move towards your expectations.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: They'll fall short of them, or they may exceed them. I mean, you need to hold higher expectations, but they will move towards them.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: So
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: that's SH. Is hold space for collaboration and critical thinking. It's
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: problem solving. Because kids often think what's wrong with me
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: when they face problems.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And and adults who've not learned that problems are an inherent part of life.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: They think what's wrong with me, and it's finding the support
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and building your skills.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: If you're falling short of an expectation in class, I would say, it's either you don't feel supported or you just don't have the skills which is nothing to be ashamed of.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: or it's just not.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Skills.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: You could always get more skills, effort over time. That's how you get skills
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: always opening up communication.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Your quality of communication is directly related to your quality of life
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: during the preteen stage they will clam up, they will cocoon, as we say.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: There are ways to
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: to be ready when they are ready to open up and W. Is wonder and explore this world together.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: That's project based learning. But it's going out there, self directed to do something that's difficult over a long period of time.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: because it's self directed. You'll stick with it longer, and it gives us it gives something for you and your child to talk about. So for you. It might be your podcast might be your business. For them. It might be
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: learning, a support, or
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: taekwondo, or Kung Fu
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: building cars. Yeah.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: yeah.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and the last one is up. Unveil your potential. It means celebrate. Celebrate them again. Celebrate your identity because it all starts with your identity.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: And when they're doing something, they're making progress. That's what we look for in
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: human development progress. When we see progress
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: cheer them on, because what gets praised gets repeated.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I love those. So how do people work with you?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: If they wanted to work with you, how would.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: They can reach out to me@marquishakes.com. I'll have some workshops there airing of this, and one is on identity.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: It starts with a strong identity, and the other one is working out a digital plan for your family.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: because that's the unique challenge of this age.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Fractured attention either that or find me on Linkedin. That's where I hang out on the social media sphere.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: A nice place.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: little different flavor than some of the other places.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: so we will put the link to the workshop and to your Linkedin profile in the show notes. This has been an amazing conversation. Is there anything else that you want
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: to share with the audience?
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Yes.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: yes.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I want to share that.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: We will fall short of our expectations as parents.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and what they teach us in communication is that there will always be conflict in every relationship.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: The conflict doesn't define the relationship.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: What defines it is how we manage the conflict
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: that said.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: repair and reconnect
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: when you don't care about something, and you do something that's out of line with your character, or you fall short of your expectations.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: You just walk on. You don't say anything, but if you care.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: say, Hey, I did something wrong. I don't want to be that person.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: You make it right, and you move on.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: he said. I'm I did. I commit to being this person going forward, the parent reconnect, and that goes a long way. It communicates to your kids that they're worthy of reconnecting. With that you do care. And this is actually a part of being an adult
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: adults do fall short, too.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: like at least.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Space for them to
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: to do the same. When you model behavior like that.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Yeah, you're giving them space to be human because some kids adolescents think that
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: is having everything together.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Well, anybody who's an adult knows that. Now.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: It's not.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: I mean, you know that. Now, right? But
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: yeah.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: so
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: so yeah, that's that's that's what I'd love to leave with parents.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: and life supports those who support life.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: So continue making an anonymous effort and find your support. We don't parent individually, we parent in pods. It's called allo parenting scientifically.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: So yeah, find find your tribe. And.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: dear.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: you're right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Thank you so much for joining me, Marcus. This has been an amazing conversation. I've really enjoyed it.
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::M. Aurelius Higgs: Thank you. Jill the feelings is Mutual.
