PET CUSTODY AND DIVORCE EPISODE 95

HOST: Beverly Price, Divorce & Empowerment Coach

GUEST: Cary Jacobson, The Founder and CEO of Jacobson Family Law

SUMMARY:

Pet custody can be a profoundly challenging aspect to navigate in the aftermath of a divorce. The deep emotional bonds that we often share with our pets can make determining the post-divorce pet custody arrangements incredibly complex. On this episode of Her Empowered Divorce, Host Beverly Price invites Cary Jacobson, the founder and CEO of Jacobson Family Law. They discuss pet custody, how it’s determined during a divorce, and what to consider if you are in settlement or mediation.

Divorce doesn’t have to be a death sentence. With the right support and guidance, you can move through the process with knowledge, skills and confidence. If you’d like to schedule a complimentary private consultation, reach out to Beverly at: https://beverly-price.as.me/Consultation.

Visit https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/her-empowered-divorce/id1635143315 to access the entire archive of Her Empowered Divorce episodes, and while you’re there, please subscribe, rate and review our show!

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

● Pet custody after divorce depends on the jurisdiction. Some jurisdictions will approach pets as properties and others as children.

● The hostile side can use pets to hurt the other person. Why? Sometimes the desire to inflict emotional harm often outweighs the concern for the animal's well-being and doing the right thing.

● Would the court or agreements handle service and support animals differently? Yes, it definitely is.

● Regardless of whether you are in settlement or mediation, you have to consider where you will be living (will there be a place for the animal?) and how you will financially support the pet.

NOTABLE QUOTES:

● In jurisdictions that treat pets similar to kids, they could award a custody access schedule and allow support agreement for the pet. (Cary)

● People are now treating their pets so much like humans and children that this is a natural evolution. (Beverly)

● In some cases, people want to win by using pets to stick it or hurt the other person rather than wanting the animal; they just don’t want the other person to have the animal. (Cary)

● If you have kids, take into consideration how they are attached to the pets, it’s important for the kids to have that support and to know where and when they will see the pet. (Cary)

● If you separate the children from the pets, that will make the transition even harder after a divorce. (Beverly)

● You can provide in your estate plan who will take care of the pet and if you will leave money for their care. (Cary)

FURTHER RESOURCES/RELEVANT LINKS:

Beverly’s personal Facebook page can be found at: https://www.facebook.com/beverlyprice365/

Women’s Divorce and Empowerment group discussion available at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerecovery

Sober Link Alcohol Monitoring System's discount page can be found at: https://www.soberlink.com/partners/empowered

ABOUT OUR GUEST:

Cary Jacobson is the Founder and CEO of Jacobson Family Law. She has been practicing law for nearly a decade, having successfully represented clients in all facets of family law proceedings, including separation, divorce, custody, child support, post-divorce enforcement, and other family law-related matters.

Through her experience litigating family law matters Cary has found that the conflict associated with litigation often tears a family apart, making it toxic for children and their parents. However, as a certified mediator and collaborative divorce attorney, Cary has also seen how these forms of alternative dispute resolution can lead to and foster successful co-parenting arrangements.

Cary has chosen to dedicate her practice to working with clients who wish to resolve their family disputes without court intervention. She assists clients in choosing between mediation, collaborative divorce or separation agreements in order to keep drama out of their divorce.

FOLLOW OUR GUEST:

Website: http://www.jacobsonfamilylaw.com

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jacobsonfamilylaw?lang=en

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jacobsonfamilylaw

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jacobsonfamilylaw/

LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/caryjacobson/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jacobsonfamilylaw

ABOUT YOUR HOST:

Beverly Price is a CDC Certified Divorce Coach ® and Women’s empowerment coach with over 25 years of experience. Her passion lies in supporting women through every aspect of separation and divorce. She offers a comprehensive coaching experience that goes beyond just empowerment work to help clients develop their communication, conflict management, boundary setting and negotiation skills. Beverly also provides expertise on the technical, legal, and financial aspects of the divorce process.

CONTACT YOUR HOST:

Website: http://www.herempowereddivorce.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/her_empowered_divorce

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herempowereddivorce/

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerecovery

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/7kIcMXrj1tIWBOmaXBBn1U

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@herempowereddivorce/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/beverly-price/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/82553684/admin/feed/posts/

Email: beverly@herempowereddivorce.com

CHECK OUT MY FREE EBOOK:12 Steps to Empowerment https://herempowereddivorce.com/12-steps-to-empowerment-1



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Hi, beautiful. I'm so glad you're here with me today.

I want to welcome you to another episode of the Her Empowered Divorce, the podcast where we bring you expert insights and advice to help you navigate your separation and divorce journey. Today, I have a very special guest, Kerry Jacobson, founder and CEO of Jacobson Family Law in Maryland. Kerry is a seasoned family law attorney who specializes in helping clients resolve their

intervention. Welcome, Keri. It's so great to have you here today.

Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate the opportunity.

Oh, it's so great. I'm excited to be here and hear the valuable information that you have to share.

So let's dive right in. And this is a really interesting topic to me because I am a pet lover. I actually have five dogs. People will think I'm crazy. I almost was gonna bring a picture and show you, but we're gonna talk about pet custody and how challenging it can be during a divorce. So Carrie, can you tell us how pet custody is determined when a couple decides to part ways?

So honestly, it depends on the jurisdiction. There are some jurisdictions that will approach pet custody as if it were property. Here in Maryland, that's honestly the way that if it were before a court, a judge would likely address the issue is deciding, who is the owner of the pets and

Okay.

Oh.

do that by figuring out who paid for them, who took care of them, those types of things. There are some jurisdictions that treat pets more like children and figure out what is in the best interest of the pets and handle it that way.

Gotcha.

Interesting.

Interesting. So in my case, heaven forbid I ever got divorced. I have five dogs. It could be not only who gets the dogs, but maybe even splitting the dogs between the partners and things like that. Wow. Oh, that's sad. And just to let everybody know, I'm not going to get a divorce. This is my last wonderful marriage. So that's it.

It could be.

Yeah.

Thank you.

So now if one partner doesn't have custody, can they still request visitation in either of the kinds of jurisdictions you just mentioned?

It would be more likely to be in those jurisdictions that treat pets similar to kids, and a court in theory could award a custody access schedule with the pets.

Interesting. Would there also be pet support like there's child support?

So I will say that I've never done this in the court context. I have dealt with this in the context of couples putting something in their agreement and addressing the issue in that manner. And in that scenario, I have seen situations where people will address both a custody and access arrangement with regards to the kids.

Okay.

Okay.

Gotcha.

Gotcha.

and also how they're going to financially share expenses related to the pets.

You know, I think people now are really treating their pets so much like humans and so much like children that this is a natural evolution. When you see it, do you see that? Do you see people so attached to their pets it's a little bit like children?

Mm-hmm.

Absolutely, yes. And it can be a very difficult conversation for people. And there are even scenarios where the pet may have been one of the parties before coming into the relationship, but then the other person has grown attached to that pet. And so even in those scenarios, it's figuring out how they're gonna handle it.

you know, sometimes the pet aligns with the other person, not with the original owner.

Wow, that's fascinating. So do you have any stories? Obviously it would be anonymous that you can share with us.

Yes, so sometimes what I've seen is when there are children involved that the pet kind of goes back and forth between the individuals similar to the kids because sometimes the pet is also a support for the child, right? And so there are scenarios where there's

Right.

a custody schedule for the pets, just like there is for the children. I've seen scenarios where the parties decide to do a week on week off with the pets. Other scenarios, it could be because one person travels more than the other. And so they put in provisions where the other person will take care of the pet while the person is traveling for work.

Right.

So it, you know, the lovely thing is that people can create a schedule that works for them based on what their particular circumstances are.

Now, in some cases that are, I guess, more on the hostile side that I've seen, people tend to want to win, if you will. Do you see...

Mm-hmm.

Right. Yep.

Do you see people kind of using the pets, sometimes like using children, to stick it to the other one or to hurt the other one, rather than really wanting the animal, they just don't want the other person to have the animal.

Mm-hmm.

Unfortunately, there are always those sad scenarios when hurting the other person is more important than doing the right thing. I am fortunate that most of the clients that we work with, we don't encounter that, but I know that it still happens.

Wow. So, do you have situations where people have not put the pets in the agreement? And then what happens afterwards? Are they just in an argument? Are they having to go to court to fix it? Do they have to do another agreement? How would that work?

Yeah, so I have had scenarios where people have either been vague in the language used in the agreement because they at the time just simply didn't want something specific or didn't feel like the other side would be willing to sign something specific. And so they basically said, you know, they will share access with the pets as can be arranged between them.

Unfortunately, because we are here in Maryland and Maryland looks at it more of a property issue, it's really not going to be helpful for parties to go back to court and ask for a decision at that point because then it's just really going to be a question of who's going to be the owner and it's not likely to be a specific access schedule. So it's important for people to be very specific in their agreement if

Gotcha.

and to address this issue so that they don't have problems in the future.

Now, I've heard a lot about service animals and support animals. Would the courts or would agreements handle that differently?

and

I would say it is likely that they would handle that differently because that pet is for the service of that individual person. And so, and I would think that in that scenario, it's more likely that individual animal is the property of that individual person because of it being a service animal.

Gotcha.

Gotcha, gotcha. Is there anything specific that someone thinking about divorce, kind of approaching it, needs to think about in regards to the animal and would it be different if you were in mediation versus if you were trying to get a settlement?

So I think regardless of whether you're in settlement or mediation, you can approach it in a similar manner. Things to consider are going to be where you intend to live. Is there going to be a place for the animal, especially if you're going to be renting, right? Like if you're post-divorce and it's likely that you're going to be renting a place, are you going to be allowed to have animals? You're not likely going to be able to have five dogs.

Right.

you know, in a rental property, right? So that's something to consider, you know, who's gonna be able to have the pets with them. The other thing that I think is critically important to consider is are you gonna be able to financially support them? And how you're going to address that because we all know as pet owners,

Exactly. Yeah.

Yes.

you know, care for the animals can be expensive, especially as they get older and, you know, need more care and more medications and that sort of thing. So it is definitely important to keep that in mind.

Yes.

Right, and I would think that you would, if the custody was awarded to one person, I would think there might also be something in there that says if you're ever thinking of rehoming that animal, you need to give the other person the opportunity to take the animal before you rehome it.

that is absolutely something that could be added to an agreement. Yes.

Do you have any other examples of cases of pet custody that would help the audience kind of understand what other people have been through?

So I have worked with a couple and they had a scenario where they split the cost of the animals and they split the custody. So one person took one of the pets and the other person took the other pet, but they did agree that they would continue to care for financially both of the pets together.

Gotcha.

And it was a scenario where they would also, if one party was gonna be away, the other party would take care of the dogs together and that sort of thing. And we're talking about domestic animals, dogs, cats, that sort of thing. But for those folks who may be in other areas, I've had one or two scenarios where we were

Gotcha.

had to deal with horses. So, you know, you have to consider all pets and what their needs are as well.

Oh yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and those would be extra expensive with boarding costs and things like that. I hadn't even thought of that. I just think of the traditional cat and dog kind of thing. So that's fascinating. These are just fantastic tips.

Mm-hmm.

I just really think that it's gonna be helpful. But I like to ask all my guests about what are three important tips or steps you would suggest to them in regard to pet custody in a divorce.

So I think the first is to again, think about what you can do financially and whether or not you're gonna be able to care for that pet financially or address how to split the cost regarding the pets. The other important thing is taking the consideration if you do have kids, how they are attached to the pet. And because it's going to be

Yes.

very important for the for the kids to have that support and know where when and where they're going to be able to see the pet. And the third thing I would say is you know also consider the nature of the pet. Is that pet someone who does well with traveling? You know if I know that there are some dogs and some cats that may be more willing to travel back and forth.

But then there are some that are very anxious and that wouldn't be a good scenario for them. And so really taking into consideration what your pet would be able to withhold with sand.

Wow, that is so true to think about. And particularly I was thinking about when you were talking about the children and the pets, I would think if you separated the children from the pets, that would make the transition for the children even harder.

Yes, and I have had that scenario where, you know, the child was with the parent who had the pet, but really had a hard time visiting the other parent because their animal wasn't there. And so, you know, it can be really tough on the kids to be separated from that pet.

Yeah.

Absolutely. Well those are great tips and I'm sure the listeners are going to find them valuable. But before we end, how can everyone find you and can you also give us a little summary of all the kinds of things that you do in your practice?

Sure. So you can find us on social media. We're on just about every channel and it's Jacobson Family Law. Our website is Jacobsonfamilylaw.com. You can find us on TikTok, Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, all the things. And we work with clients on helping them resolve their custody or divorce issues outside of court. And that can be through mediation.

collaborative divorce, settlement negotiations. We also work with people in creating pre and post-nuptial agreements and their estate plans.

Yes, I think pre and postnuptial agreements are so critical. The other thing I was thinking about too in this subject is a will is so important in this regard, not particularly if you have children but also if you have pets in that regard too.

Yes, and you can provide in your estate plan who's going to take care of the pets and if you're going to leave any money for their care, that is something you can address in your estate plan as well.

Wow. Wonderful. Thank you once again, Carrie, for joining me today and sharing your expertise on pet custody. This has been just very interesting. I loved having you. Thank you again.

Thank you so much for having me.

And if anyone would like to hear more from Carrie, we have an episode in our Divorce Expert Series where she talks about the role of an attorney in divorce. And I encourage you to listen to that as well. All of the information about Carrie, her practice, and myself will be available in the show notes on our website, herempoweredivorce.com on the podcast page. Please share this episode

to help spread the knowledge and empowerment so we can help more women in this situation.

Oops, excuse me. Okay, let's pause a minute. Beverly just had a little brain cramp. Okay, pick back up. That's all for today's episode of Her Empowered Divorce. Please be sure to tune in for our next episode where we'll be featuring more expert advice to support you on your separation and divorce journey. Thank you for joining us today and remember you are not alone in this process. Stay empowered.

and take care.