Stress resilience- How does stress change who you are?

The longer you are stressed out the more you will change and most of the time we don’t change for the better when we are exposed to prolonged stress and discomfort..

How do you manage/regulate your stress?

Do you eat ?

Do you talk ?

Do you express yourself ?

Do you drink ?

Do you exercise

Do you try to masturbate it away ?

Do you hide ?

Do you shut down ?

Do you explode ?

Do you implode ?

Stress is very differently experienced.

What stresses you out ?

The better we learn to express our distress the more authentic we can be , the healthier and happier we feel. 

Let’s explore together

New podcast episode of the Borealis Experience Podcast -for you :) 

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With much love

A.

New podcast episode of the Borealis Experience Podcast -for you :) 

listen here or on #spotify #applepodcast

This is a place where you can recharge your batteries, reconnect to yourself, 

really get to know yourself and find out what steps you can take to untangle

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Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter.

Discover who you are without all this clutter in your mind.

Let’s dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 

In this episode and many other episodes I touch on topics that I usually work on with my clients. Here in my podcast it will be targeted to a broad spectrum of people. If you'd like to go more into depth with a topic I address, reach out to me.

with love and much respect

Aurora

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Unknown: 00:00:08

Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

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on this beautiful journey called life. I hope you feel good, I

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hope you feel safe, maybe even joyous, I hope all your needs

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are met. I hope you feel seen and heard. I really hope that

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you get to express yourself fully and that you feel alive.

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blood running through your veins and eyes lit up brain and mind

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in a good place. And your heart's beating steadily and

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strong and joyously. If it's not the case, if you're not in total

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distress and panic, but in slight discomfort if you feel

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stuck. If you feel dissatisfied, I really hope that I can bring

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you value and create a space for you here where you can rest and

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reflect and recharge your batteries. to then go out into

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the world and express yourself fully and live the life that you

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were meant to live here. Today, I want to talk about stress, and

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how stress changes you. It not only changes the way you think

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and feel about the world around you. But also it changes how you

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feel and think about yourself, your body, your soul, your

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purpose. Everything has been questioned when we are exposed

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to stress. And needless to say, we've all been exposed to

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extreme stress over the last couple of years. And what has it

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done to you? How did it change you? Is there very clear before

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and after? Right, we were crammed into sometimes little

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apartments or houses with our spouses or partners or

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roommates, family members, whoever you chose to live with

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before the pandemic, and now all of a sudden, who the air is

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getting sick. Maybe you're still licking your wounds from a

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breakup, because you were with your partner going into the

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pandemic, but you found out that it's not working, you're not

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good on a small space. Maybe you came out of the pandemic and

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thought you were well and resilient. But now that

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everything is going back to pretty much normal. You can see

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that a lot of damage has been done. How does stress affect

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you? Do you hide and shut down? Did you get frustrated and

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angry? Do people avoid you when you're stressed? Or do they come

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to support you and help you? Are you open to receive support from

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the outside world when you are stressed? Stress is different

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for for everybody. Right? There's the one person who can

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go without food for eight hours and they're still functioning

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well and then there's a person like me, I need my food every

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five to six hours otherwise, I'm not a good person. There's that

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person who likes high intensity sports. And this is how they can

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release stress. And then there's people who need yoga and

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meditation to release stress. So I invite you to explore how you

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release stress. And if the way your release figured it's is

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beneficial to you. And with who out there who started

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drinking or smoking. Sex is another nice release for stress

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watching porn. High Intensity sports, food, sleep, there's

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people out there who just, they just go to sleep, they just fall

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asleep on the couch or go to their bedroom and sleep hoping

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that when they get up, that stress is gone. So also, be

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brutally honest here in this space during this time you have

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spent with me? Like how, how good is the tools that you use

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it? Do they really release your stress? Or is it just a

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temporary fix, and then afterwards, there's a build up

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right away. Again, it's really important to know your stress

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resilience and to find out what stresses you out, especially

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when you are in relation with others, because like I said,

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before, everybody is different. And if you can very clearly

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communicate what stresses you out. You can find out pretty

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quickly if that person you're with is listening and willing to

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understand you. And you make the relationship way easier on

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everybody. Right? If people know that you need alone time, when

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you're stressed out. And it has nothing to do with them. It's

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just everything about you and having to recalibrate, and

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recenter, then they're not going to stress out and worry. And a

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lot of people choose to not communicate, especially when

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it's when it's the beginning of the dating phase. They're just

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going to, you know, avoid people ghost people in the hopes that

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they will understand. But not many people would understand if

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you don't clearly communicate, hey, I need some time off. I'll

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be back, I need to figure things out. And please don't worry. And

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it makes you feel as if you value your feelings and your

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stress levels as well. And that's my main thing here. To be

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honest, my main thing is that we all learn to be more okay with

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who we are, and how we feel how we perceive things. And then to

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gently express it to the outside world for them to either be

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invited in or invited out. Right, the more authentic you

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are, the more likely you're going to attract people that are

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good for you. And the better chances you have, that the

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people that are not really interested in you not have same

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values belief systems will keep out of your life. And that's

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very awesome when you don't want drama. So what is the last thing

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that really stressed you out? Frustrated you? And I really

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don't care how silly it is? And how did you deal with it? And

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are you happy with how you dealt with it?

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Or do you know deep down inside? Shit? That was not awesome. I'll

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try better next time. But do you know how to deal with your

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stress differently next

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time? Do you need to practice maybe a little bit before a

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stressful situation happens again? Or are you going to be

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able to regulate your strong emotions in the moment? I tell

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you what, not many people are capable of doing that. When it

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comes to me, I'm not gonna go too much into detail but I need

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a couple fixed sentences that I can like a tape record. And then

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once I feel these feelings coming up, I just say that 10

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sentence that I've memorized before. And from there, I go

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into full on raw expression. And people appreciate that because I

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used to shut down hideaway or full on explode in people's

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people's faces. And I learned that it's not serving anybody,

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especially not myself, not me. So I have these couple sentences

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ready to go whenever I feel strong feelings come up, and

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then I just use them. And it doesn't matter. If I sound like

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a robot at first, I'm building a new pathway, right? My brain is

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learning a new way of dealing with a situation. And of course,

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I'm going to suck at the beginning, it will feel awkward

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because I'm stepping out of my old way of dealing with a

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situation. But that doesn't matter. For me, it's more

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important to have myself expressed and understood than to

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make the other person feel the same way. I feel. That's a very

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childish way of dealing with strong emotions. Especially when

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it comes to aggression, frustration, and stress

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management. Sometimes we just blurt it out, we lash out,

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because we just express how we feel. And then the other

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person's soaks up that energy, and then we're not, we're all

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not being served. But if in those moments, I learned to put

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my frustration into words, and make it very clear what's going

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on, then everybody is being helped. And then there can be

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solutions found. And you will see that as soon as you express

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yourself. those strong emotions and energies will dissolve.

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Because they want to be expressed. It's it's very

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interesting and fascinating. So stress will change you over

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time. And not necessarily for the better, it can even affect

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your physical body. I know a lot of women who when they're

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stressed out, they don't want anything to do with sex and

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intimacy. And then there's guys out there who desperately need

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sex, when they are stressed out because they kind of conditioned

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their body and taught themselves that sex can be used as a

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release. Now, I don't want to judge either of these two

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scenarios. But is that sustainable in a relationship?

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Like are you going to use your partner to release stress? Or

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are you just going to masturbate away and then that's it. And for

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the people out there who don't want to have stress when they're

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stressed out? Sex when they're stressed out? How does that make

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your partner feel? Like probably makes them feel shitty? Because

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yeah, they see that stress is affecting your whole being and

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you can't function properly when you're stressed out so we both

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have to find ways to to manage our stress a little bit better

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and then those guys out there who struggle with erectile

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dysfunction because of too much stress because of their monkey

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mind overtaking the whole being and then all of a sudden the

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brain signals to the body that no no pleasure no baby making

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nothing should happen here because you're so stressed out.

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You're not supposed to have fun. You're not supposed to procreate

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and stress if you don't deal with it, if you don't learn to

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express it and channel it out side of you can also lead to

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high blood pressure or diabetes or depression. Right if it's if

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it's prolonged, if it's too long in your body it is going to

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change your whole chemistry your hormones and we all learn to to

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deal with our stress levels and to be okay with where we at and

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to become more resilient from where we at and to not judge us

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ourselves harshly but to just admit, okay, this is what I'm

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at. And this is where I want to be. Let's make a plan. And the

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beautiful thing about that is, as soon as you work on your

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stress management, your anger management, frustration

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management, no matter where your physical health is at, you will

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feel physically better. Because imagine stress being like a

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poison that you keep drinking. It affects your whole being, and

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especially your body, your body is always the last, you know,

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last piece of the chain. And it's, it always has to suck up

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what our conscious and subconscious mind decides to do.

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So you Yeah, I think that was what I wanted to desperately

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share with you today. Again, thank you for letting me show up

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whenever I feel a strong urge. I know it's not been as regularly

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as it used to be, I will go back to a regular and more strict

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schedule. But for now, I got too much going on with in person

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retreats, and gatherings and workshops. And I want to make

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sure that when I show up here for you that it comes from a

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place of authenticity, and a rawness and real connection to

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love and passion. And I hope you can feel that. I don't want that

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to be forced, it couldn't be forced. I want it to be genuine,

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because we're all animals. And you would sense right away if I

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would show up. Not fully being there. And that's not what I

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want. All right. If you enjoy this podcast, if you get value

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out of my episodes, please make some time. Just take a minute

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and write a review. on Apple podcasts leave a rating on

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Spotify. Wherever you listen to, and share with a loved one, you

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will open up doors to stronger connections. If people know that

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you care so deeply about their emotional and mental well being

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by sharing these episodes. Also. There is a build up from Season

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1234567. And if you just started listening to my podcast here and

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season seven, I invite you to go back to season one. It is

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timeless. It is not related to any outside events, what I'm

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producing here, but it is a genuine build up for you to get

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to know yourself better. Thank you so much for being here. I

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deeply appreciate you. I love you. I'm excited to connect with