Embracing Growth: Overcoming Depression and Discovering Purpose with Constantin Morun

Having the job, the house, and the car can still leave a man empty until he finds his why. My guest Constantin Morun grew up in communist Romania, where a mistake was something to hide and be ashamed of. He learned to beat himself up the same way his teachers did. Years later in Canada, he had what he calls the American dream. He had a role at Microsoft, a partner, two dogs, and a family he loves. Coming out of the pandemic, he was burned out and losing whole weekends to gaming or binge-watching. A mental health retreat in Ecuador opened his eyes, and he came home ready to change the world. Then reality set in. Nobody around him had changed, and he slid into a depression where, for the first time, he felt truly defeated. He pulled away from friends and family because he didn't want to look broken. Nothing he owned brought him joy, and he couldn't name his purpose.

Constantin's work started with noticing how he talked to himself. Once he caught thoughts like "I'm stupid" or "I'm such a procrastinator," he looked for proof they were wrong. He found plenty. For any change, he follows three steps of awareness, a real desire to change, and a written plan to act on. To find his why, he wrote down what brought him joy as a boy, a teenager, and in his twenties and thirties. The common thread was serving others by sharing what he learned. He also reversed his withdrawal and reached back out to family and friends. When someone met his struggle by one-upping or downplaying it, he set a boundary and moved on. Today he keeps his vision in a document he reviews every week or two. He celebrates how far he's come and practices gratitude every day.

The deepest shift was letting go of the need to be liked by everyone. Constantin stopped hiding his real self at work and started showing up with more compassion and empathy. His relationships improved at work and at home. He also stopped trying to fix the people around him and focused on changing himself. He doesn't blame his parents, who taught what they knew. Mike shares that he was once a chameleon, chasing the approval of the most powerful person in the room. He also passed his belief that failing makes you a failure down to his kids. Mike Forrester teaches that what a man inherited isn't his fault, but breaking it is his responsibility. That's what kept him doing the work when it was hard. Fathers who've handed their kids the same fear of failure they grew up with will find a way to stop it here.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

Catch the harsh things you say to yourself and look for proof they aren't true.
Use three steps, awareness, desire, and a written plan, to turn what you learn into action.
Map what brought you joy at each stage of life to find your why.
Reach back out to friends and family when you want to withdraw, and set boundaries with people who make it worse.
Show up as your real self at work and at home to build stronger relationships.
See how working on yourself changes what your kids learn about risk and failure.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:06:57 - when the American dream still leaves you empty

00:11:09 - the difference between a fixed and a growth mindset

00:15:06 - how to stop beating yourself up after a mistake

00:19:30 - why men withdraw when they're struggling and how to reach back out

00:22:17 - setting boundaries with people who downplay your struggles

00:28:01 - how to turn what you learn into action

00:33:43 - finding meaning and purpose in a job that doesn't fulfill you

00:37:33 - how to find your why when you've never known it

00:40:29 - why changing yourself changes everyone around you

00:42:54 - how your growth changes your kids and future generations

00:51:45 - stretching past the limits you set for yourself