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Hello, darling heart, and welcome to the drink less, live better podcast. This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking
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less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring. I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol
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free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back. With my experience and training, I now help other women with their
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alcohol free or drink less adventures. You can find out more about me and sign up to my 5 day drink less challenge at drinklesslivebetter.com.
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I'm here to tell you that you can relax, connect and have fun without alcohol in your life. Join me here each week to find
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out how. If you listened to episode 3 you'd have heard me talk about the language I used around my choice to go alcohol free.
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Today I'd like to tell you a story about who I told and who I didn't in the early days of my alcohol free life experiment.
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The first time I said I was going to go alcohol free for a year was on a Zoom group coaching call in 2019. We were discussing
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some new goals we all hoped to be working towards. I loved these people and the facilitator, and it was an uplifting and joyful
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group to be in. As we went around the room declaring our goals, I said, I'm not going to say mine out loud actually. I'm keeping
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it in my head, thanks. The conversation moved on and dreams were discussed, plans were put in place and futures were talked
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about as possible realities. Towards the end of the session someone said, oh, come on Sarah, The suspense is killing me. What's
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your goal, and why won't you share it? The second part of that question was easy because if I shared it, it will feel real,
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and then I'd have to follow through on it. And the first part was not so easy. I took a deep breath and then said, I'm going
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to be alcohol free in 2020. There was silence. There was tumbleweed. Well, I'd pretty much just declared myself to be an alcoholic,
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hadn't I? What can you expect people to say in that situation? I fluffed around trying to make it better. Well, I don't drink
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more than the government guidelines in an average week. I just drink too much wine when I'm out with my girlfriends. I sometimes
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don't feel my best in the mornings. I also pointed out that I was only drinking the same amount as everyone else I knew, and
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I was managing to look after my family, do some yoga, go running, take my vitamins, hold down a job, drink smoothies, and,
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you know, generally be a fabulous human in many other ways. Anyway, the group vibe was one of good for you, well done, and
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let us know how it goes, which was reassuring. And now that I'd said it wasn't a secret anymore, and that felt good, saying
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my goal out loud had made it seem more real, and that Zoom group had been a safe bet for saying it out loud and not feeling
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judged. I'd plucked up the courage to say it because I wanted other people to know and hold me accountable. In October 2019,
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I told my husband I wasn't gonna drink in 2020. It was no big conversation. There were no questions from him and no justifications
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from me, just a comfortable acceptance. We've talked about it since, and it's no biggie in our lives. He carried on drinking
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when I stopped, and my experiment has always been about me, not him and not us. The first couple of times I went out after
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I decided to be alcohol free was to friends' houses, and I didn't tell them about my choice as I wasn't yet ready to chat
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about it. On those nights, I acted as the barmaid and poured everybody else's drinks for them. When I was in the kitchen,
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I just topped up my own glass with tonic water and everyone assumed I was drinking g and t. The next couple of nights out,
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I made myself the driver as that's always a good valid reason not to drink, and no one questions that. When I was ready to
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chat to friends, I was careful to mention it outside of drinking situations. If we were out for a dog walk, a coffee, or at
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each other's houses for a cuppa, I chose to mention it then. It felt far less confrontational if neither of us had an alcoholic
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drink in our hand. I always made it casual and I never mentioned the year long time frame. I just said, oh, I'm just choosing
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not to drink for the time being, and I'm feeling so much better for it. No one tried to change my mind, and I was able to
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feel good about the choice I was making for myself. As time went on, I became more honest about my intention to be alcohol
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free for a whole year, and it did then start conversations around: oh, but you're not an alcoholic. You don't have a problem.
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You don't need to punish yourself like that. Surely you could just have 1 or 2 drinks. By then, I was already really feeling
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the benefits of my alcohol free experiment, and these conversations became easier and easier to have. Yep. I wasn't, and I'm
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not an alcoholic. I don't have a problem with alcohol. It just wasn't offering me any positive benefits. I'm not punishing
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myself. I'm doing the opposite. I'm treating myself with great love and kindness. I would be fine just having 1 or 2, but
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I don't want that anymore. At times, I felt slightly uncomfortable because friends would tell me all the reasons why they
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were fine drink drinking what they drank, and, hey, no judgement here. The point is, you do you and I'll do me. Where once
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I had looked for accountability in I drinking less before I decided to go alcohol free. It would make me happier than a Buddhist
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monk if you could please subscribe, 5 star review and comment on my podcast on whatever platform you listen. Imagine it like
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tasting notes on the finest wine I am never going to drink. Thank you. And PS, I believe in you.
