Are you living the life you actually want to live—or just the one you think you should?

In this honest episode of the Collide Podcast, we sit down with Stephanie May Wilson to talk about releasing expectations, redefining success, and choosing a life aligned with God’s voice—not the world’s. She shares how she learned to recognize the unwritten rules she was living by, how God gives us agency to pivot when something needs to change, and why creating a meaningful life starts with courage and clarity. Whether you’re navigating a big transition, questioning your next steps, or tired of trying to meet everyone’s expectations, this episode will remind you that you’re allowed to dream—and build—a life you actually want to live.

Meet Stephanie May Wilson

Stephanie is an author, speaker, and top-rated podcast host who’s passionate about walking women through life’s biggest transitions with honesty and hope. She creates books, courses, and resources that help women release pressure, find direction, and take their next faithful step. Her work is rooted in the belief that life doesn't have to look a certain way to be meaningful—and her story is a powerful example of what it looks like to choose intention over expectation.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

• How to identify and let go of the “supposed to” mindset
• What to do when you know something in your life needs to change
• The freedom and agency God gives you to make brave decisions
• How to discern your true desires and align your life accordingly
• The role of community and grace when stepping into a new season

How This Episode Will Encourage You

If you’ve ever felt stuck in a life that doesn’t feel like your own, this episode will give you both the permission and practical steps to make a change. You’ll be reminded that God invites you into a co-creative journey—one filled with freedom, clarity, and purpose.

Connect with Stephanie - Website | Instagram | Facebook

Connect with Willow - Website | Instagram | Facebook

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Hey there, it's Willow Weston and you are on the Collide podcast today. And I'm so glad that I get a handy this interview. I just interviewed Stephanie Mae Wilson, which, by the way, just sounds like a cool name.

Stephanie May Wilson. She came in from Spring Spain today to be on the podcast. She called in and she just moved there.

She shares of her adventures, but she's an author, a top top podcaster, and she shares about her journey to release the expectations that she had for our lives, that other people had for our lives, and began to create the life that she actually wanted to live. And she invites us to do the same.

It's a fantastic interview and I encourage you to take, listen and share it with a girlfriend who, you know, needs this kind of encouragement. Here you go, Stephanie. It's so fun to have you on the Collide podcast today. I know you're joining in from Spain, which is so cool.

It's Willow. I have been looking forward to this.

We have been trying to schedule this for, like, just about ever, which I think is 100% my fault, which I'm very sorry for.

No, no, no, no. I'm just glad we can make it work.

Me too. Me too. Yeah. I'm joining in from Spain.

It is evening here, which is always so crazy because I feel like normally it's like it's early afternoon for you there, right?

Yeah, well, it's morning, actually. 10 o' clock in the morning, so.

It is morning. It is morning.

I could be eating breakfast, you could be eating dinner.

Exactly, exactly.

This is so great.

There's so many things I want to talk to you about, and I want to dive right in because I want women to get as much as they can out of their time with you.

You have this huge passion to help women sort of move past these expectations of what their life was supposed to look like and actually begin to live a life that. That they want to live. How did you gain this passion?

So I am a firstborn, type a perfectionist, people pleaser with anxiety.

So decisions have always been a little tricky for me, and I spent a lot of my life feeling like there was like everyone else knew more than I did when it came to big life decisions. I remember being engaged and looking to my right and to my left and trying to find any engaged couples I could and go like, are we doing this right?

Is this how this is supposed to look? And I've. I really have done that for a lot of my life as I've made these big decisions.

And finally I had A friend who, you know, was watching me spiral, and she grabbed me by the shoulders and she kind of shook me and she said, stephanie, you get to decide when it comes to these massive life decisions that we're talking about. Like, I know it feels like God has this tiny little path that you're about to fall off of, but I think he's bigger than that.

And I think you really get to decide here. And that's just not something that I had heard before.

I mean, it's like, it's so simple, but it's also so profound that we would have a voice in our lives, that we would have some agency over our lives. And the learning for me over the last decade or so has been, I am the one who knows me best. I am the one living my life.

I'm the one living with the consequences of my decisions. And I'm the only one who can actually really hear from God about what he's saying to me about my life.

And so therefore, I need to step up and I need to make some decisions instead of looking around and sort of waiting for everyone else to make them for me.

Well, I wrote down the word agency before you said it because you were talking about this idea of you get to decide. And I love that you use that word because I think there's a lot of people, I call them let lifers, like, they're just letting life happen to them.

And this idea that actually God gives us agency, it's almost counter to what a lot of people have been told in the church and in their faith.

Can you talk to us a little bit about some of the sort of maybe theological beliefs or things we've been told that work against the agency that God gives us.

Yeah, I mean, I think that we.

In an effort, I'll speak for myself, in an effort to please God and stay close to God and follow his will for my life, I wanted to sort of take it baby, tiny step by tiny baby step.

I mean, just inching along, waiting for him to give me the all clear and the go ahead and exact instructions before I did, before I took any move forward.

And there were some, like, forks in the road throughout my story where I was trying to figure out, you know, should I do this thing or should I do this thing? Should I, you know, date this person or should I not, Should I move here or should I move to this totally different place?

And I'm waiting for God to give me these step by step instructions, and he's just not. And the only thing he is giving Me is a choice. And saying, you know, Steph, like, I love you. I am for you. I created you.

And I've also put a whole lot of really wise people into your life to, like, help you suss out what's happening here. And what you're looking at are two really good choices. Neither of them are going to lead you away from me. I'll be there either way.

So pick what you want. Like, pick, decide. And that really is so counter to what I think.

So many of us are told we're waiting for, you know, a bush to catch fire and speak out loud to us to tell us what to do. And, you know, we. We find things in the Bible that aren't there. You know, Philippians 2.

4, thou shalt date this guy that you met on Tinder, not the guy you met on Bumble. Like, it's. It's just not in there. Right. So, yeah, I think that God gives us. I think that God's a good parent.

And at least my conviction is that that means. That doesn't mean that he's like a puppet master. It means that he's walking with us and guiding us and talking to us along the way.

But I just think it's a lot harder to fall off of his will then I think maybe we would like it to be.

Interesting.

Yeah.

I wonder if you have had an experience where, you know, you had this moment where this. This person in your life said, you get to decide, which is so freeing. And I want to talk about that before we dig deep into that.

Have you had a moment where you didn't get to decide where? It's like, there are some times where God makes it very clear there's not a choice. There's this one best choice. Like, have you had that?

Oh, yeah. Yes. The first thing that came to mind.

And I know that you guys listening are in all kinds of different stages of life, and this isn't my stage of life anymore either. But I remember that there was a person who I loved so much we broke up. And I was really, for years, hoping that we could reconcile, and we didn't.

And finally, once I was really over it, then I got a call from him, and, you know, it just like, why does it happen like that? And so it felt like this door kind of swung open, and I had the opportunity to walk through it, and I wanted to. I really wanted to.

And I really, really, really felt God saying, I need you to turn this down. I need you to turn this down.

And at the time, I like, at the Time, I already kind of understood why that wasn't always the case, but at the time, I understood why now, you know, with years, you know, it's years in the rearview mirror, but I can see so much how that was God's mercy for me and his love for me. That was like, this isn't. I know this is what you've been hoping for, but this isn't it, my friends.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I mean, there's absolutely been times that he has made it clear or that, you know, I've wanted something and it just hasn't happened. But I think just in so many more instances, we really do get to decide. And I think with the little things, especially, like, the big things.

Yes, but with the little things, you know, we're like, even, you know, what college do I want to go to? Or do I buy this house or this house? I think God's like, I'm okay with you buying the one that has, you know, that costs less per square foot.

Like, that seems like it's the. Get the better house or get the house you actually want to live in and take care of and that you can picture your life in. You know, it's just.

I think he's not as. I think it's just harder to fall off of his. His will than we think it is.

But, I mean, that's also really uncomfortable in the fact that it means that we have to make hard decisions and that it isn't like this perfect obedience will lead us to a life without any pain. And, you know, that gets us from A to Z as quickly and painlessly as possible. Like, God doesn't work like that either.

So talk to us about moments you've had where you weren't living the life that you wanted to live, and you had to be real with yourself about that. And then what did you do to really assess what is the life I want to live, and how did you take steps towards it to experience it?

Yeah.

Well, so an example that's recent and that is just fresh in my mind because you were talking about how in the bio I originally sent you, I said that we live in Nashville and now we live in Spain.

So it's not that I was living a life I didn't want to live because I feel like, you know, more and more over the last decade or so, I've gotten better at making, you know, intentional decisions for my life. So it's been a long time since I have been in a place where for a long time, I've been doing something that Was not right. Which I think is good news.

You know, your, your radar, your. Your filter, your decision making skills, they get sharper as you go.

Um, but my husband and I built this life in Nashville and we lived there for about 10 years. And we were living in this beautiful house that we could have lived in forever. You know, we have little, little kids, our.

We have twin girls that are four and a half now. And, you know, we both were doing our dream jobs. We. We both have built our own things, and that's been our full time job for, you know, a decade.

And our life was really intentionally crafted.

But over the last couple years of that life, as we were living it, we started to have more and more things pop up where it was like, this isn't actually working for us the way that it once did. One of the, I mean, it was the cost of our life. It was the amount of logistics that we were navigating in our life.

We are right in the thick of the early of the childcare years. And so we're doing the math of, like, does it make sense for one of us to quit our job? You know, can we sustain our family on one income?

Like, how much is childcare? Wait, are you serious? Like, how is it possible that it's that expensive?

And so we built this life that we loved, but then we found that it was our life was sort of living us rather than the other way around.

And it took us a while to clue into the fact that some of the things that we had picked and chosen intentionally, like, weren't going as well anymore. And so we came to this point where we were like, okay, all of these elements aren't adding up anymore. We need to make a change.

And that was a crazy thing to realize because again, we did this on purpose, but we were like, something needs to change. One of us needs to get a different job, make sense for one of us to stay home. Childcare is like, just draining our bank accounts.

And, you know, and we're not like super thrilled with our situation there either. Like, what. What is the equation that's best for our family. And that's when we started to get a little wild with our ideas.

And so the first thing we, you know, we kind of realized, either we keep our life exactly as it is and one of us or both of us needs to go do something different for work, or maybe we do something different with the way we've been living. And so just like, it felt like we basically got our house settled, our dream house settled, and then we put it up for rent.

And we said, we're not going to live here anymore. Like, we. We are going to do things that differently.

And so we rented out our dream house and moved 30 minutes north for a year to a house that we, like, didn't care about. Like, you know, it wasn't just sort of a random house. We actually left all of our furniture in the house we rented.

And so we slept on a mattress on the floor for the year, which is actually not as bad as it sounds. It was, like, perfectly comfortable. And then it was in that sort of transition year that we're like, what if we do really do things differently?

And is there anywhere else, like, really anywhere else that we feel like life would fit us a little bit better for this season? And that's when we started talking about moving to Spain. And so that's, I mean, our most recent example of totally turning our lives upside down.

Because we liked all the elements. We loved a lot of the elements.

But a lot of times, like, life changes or seasons change or, you know, finances change or your environment changes and you need to do things differently. And that's. That was what happened for us. And so we did.

I have so many questions to ask you about that, but before I ask you, what is life in Spain like for you? How has this changed your family experience?

What have you experienced that you wouldn't be experiencing had you stayed in your dream home in Nashville?

So two main things. One is that our girls are old enough for free school here. So they start. Our girls wouldn't have been eligible. I mean, we're not.

They're not in kindergarten yet. We still have a whole other year before they start kindergarten. And some states have free preschool, but it's not very many hours.

And our state didn't. And so, I mean, we were paying like 40 grand for childcare. 30, 35, 40, depending on the year and the situation. And so that's like, so much money.

And here our girls are old enough to join any, like, regular school, public, private, or, you know, kind of. There's sort of a combo that that's actually where we are. And they're in what's called infantile. And so it's basically preschool.

But they have Norma are there from 9 to 2:30, and it's like, truly, it's free. And I'm so grateful that our jobs allowed us to be able to come and get visas that afford that.

And we brought our jobs with us, so we're not stealing jobs from anybody here. But so that's a massive Difference.

The other thing is because I think that I always have this thought that bigger was better and that as our family grows and as our, you know, jobs grow, that we should be moving into bigger and bigger houses and, you know, our cost of living should kind of increase and get nicer as we go and.

But having making this really giant change sort of right in the middle of our careers, we ended up getting rid of like probably 90% of the things that we owned. And we were moving to a new place. We wanted to be right in the heart of downtown. We wanted to walk everywhere.

So we sold our cars, so we don't have a car here. And we wanted to be able to walk to everything. And so that means living in an apartment.

And so we live in like a really small apartment in the middle of Granada. And it's so lovely.

And I just think that a couple years ago if you would have told me that we would be living in this much square footage, we would have been like, how, like, how is that possible? But it turns out that we're a lot more adaptable than we think we are and that like, people live really beautiful lives in all kinds of dwellings.

And I think that I just sort of forgot that because I was sort of on the path that, I don't know, we're sort of taught to walk down as Americans. So it isn't necessarily Spain, although Spain has so many beautiful things about it and the pace and the connection and the family culture here.

I mean, there's so many wonderful things about it. Um, but for us, I think part of it was the fact that we were eligible for, like, the girls were able to go to school two years earlier here.

And also because we were making a giant change. We made a giant change and we down downsized our, our lifestyle in a massive way, which has also increased our lifestyle in so many ways. As a result.

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When you moved out of your dream house into a rental, did you know, you were headed to Spain.

Yeah, we did. I mean, it still could have. It still could have fallen apart at that point. We didn't have our visas or anything, but we.

It was sort of like, we can't go to Spain unless we know we can rent out our house. And we've never done this before. And so we want. We don't want to be like, great, we're on our way to Spain. Oh, wait, our house won't rent.

And so we did that, you know, significantly earlier than I guess we had to. So it was definitely on the horizon, but it wasn't a done deal.

Yeah. It's just interesting because it was almost like a half letting go to lead to, like, this full letting go.

You talked about life living us, and I'm sure there's a lot of people listening who immediately were like, oh, my goodness, I think that's me. What are some indicators that life is living us rather than us living life?

I mean, I think it's just the case for so many of us. Burnout, constant stress, feeling like you can't catch a breath, feeling like you.

The second you get through one thing, it's like you get over one thing and you're already underneath the next thing.

Thing.

Scraping together your, you know, paycheck every month. Like, you barely getting by financially. I think finances are just a really.

I mean, they're top of mind for us, and I think they are for a lot of people right now. And I mean, not every. Like, moving to Spain is a really, really drastic choice. But I am so glad that we started.

I mean, we started throwing things overboard a lot, like, years before we decided to move to Spain. We're like, what can we live without to lighten our load?

Like, if you're on a boat and a boat's sinking, you're gonna start throwing things overboard to see if you can make it a little lighter. And so I felt like we were sinking under the weight of all of our responsibilities and all the things we were committed to.

So we started throwing things overboard. And it just. For us, it turned out that the things we were throwing overboard weren't quite enough.

And so that's when we were like, okay, well, can we cut half the boat? Can we cut the boat in half? Or can we live in one of the lifeboats instead?

And that decision has been so life giving because not only have we, you know, reduced our cost of living by thousands of dollars every month, like, truly thousands and thousands of dollars every month, but I think that when you do something Kind of crazy it or something that's out of the ordinary for you. It shows you that out of the ordinary things are possible. And so it's not even just this move. I don't know how long we'll be here.

I like, I have no idea what's next for us, but I'm really excited about the question of what's next because it's like, if we could do this, what else can we do? If we can make a decision that's this out of the box, what else could we decide?

And I think that that sort of empowerment, that creativity and thinking is available without applying for a visa in another country.

Yeah. Well, it definitely shows you that your foundation isn't found in all of these things that you have been willing to let go of.

But also you sort of release the pressure valve. I mean, you talk a lot about the pressure of expectations.

And I'm curious, where do you think all these expectations come from and how do we release them?

Gosh, they're everywhere. I wrote a book about this a little over a year ago called Create a life you love.

And it was so cool writing the book because I was finishing it as we were packing up and moving to Spain. So it's, I mean, we were, they were happening, really.

Like I was writing about getting rid of all of our stuff as we're getting rid of all of our stuff. And it just was really a cool experience.

But in the book, I talk about three different types of expectations that are on us, that we're often carrying around a lot of times without even knowing it. So the first type is explicit expectations.

And these are things that people have told you about who you're supposed to be or the life that you're supposed to be living. And this can come from family, it can come from friends, it can come from your community, it can come from your church.

And they're really loud and you know exactly what you're supposed to be doing.

This is kind of like, you know, if you have the family that says, well, you will be a stay at home mom because you can't possibly be a good mom and work outside the home, or the opposite. Will you work, will work outside the home? Because like, what kind of life, you know, what a waste of your potential to be a stay at home mom.

As if either of those things are true. The second kind of expectations that I identified was implicit expectations. And these are the ones that are unspoken but no less binding.

And these are the expectations. Like, you know, women should be like this, or you should Hit this milestone by this point or this is the way to be a good blank.

And these, again, come from everywhere. They come from our families, from our communities.

They come from society, from culture, and they're not necessarily spoken, but they're kind of unbreakable. And you know that because you hear how people are talked about when they don't follow these norms.

Um, I think about, you know, two really specific ones, especially in faith communities. I feel like being a single woman in the church is really hard, and being a woman or being a couple without kids is really hard.

It's like if you're in the church, you're supposed to be a wife and a mom, and if you're not, like, nobody knows what to do with you. So that's an implicit expectation. And then the last one is assumed expectations. And these are the ones where you just sort of picked it up somewhere.

And I had a lot of these.

It was like, I heard someone say one time that someone should do this, and I just sort of picked it up and put it in my backpack and started living as though that was the truth for me or as though it should be. And the expectations truly are so pervasive, especially for women.

People have had ideas and rules for who we're supposed to be and who we're not supposed to be and what we were allowed to do and what we shouldn't be allowed to do for all of time. I think women have. Have pretty much never been free to just be who we are and live our lives the way that is is true to who we are.

There's always been, you know, these bumpers around us of like, well, don't do that. Well, you're not allowed to do that. Well, good women don't do that.

And the beautiful and tricky thing about being a woman in our day and age is that we have more opportunities and more options than any generation of women before us. But that also means that in a lot of ways, we're sort of building the plane as.

As we're flying it because, like, we don't have examples of what it looks like to be a mom in the age of social media and not screw up your kids. Like, we. We don't have a generation who successfully done that yet because it's. It's just new technology, and a lot of. A lot of things are like that.

So the expectations on women, I mean, they're everywhere. And the thing that's so frustrating to me about them is that they're different for everybody.

And, you know, you could go to you know, I'm picking on churches a little bit, but it's. It's because I think for a lot of us, the expect some of the expectations that are the loudest come from our faith communities.

But it's crazy that you could be in two different churches in the same city, the same denomination, but they have, like, slightly different zip codes, and the rules are different for you at each one. And so I think realizing that as I've been growing up has given me the audacity to say, okay, so are these God's rules? Are these people's rules?

Are these like, actually what God tells us we're supposed to do? Or is this this person's opinion? And that person's probably trying their best to. To lead people towards God, but, like, that's. That's their opinion.

But I know that a lot of times I've let my whole life be dictated by someone's opinion because I mistook it for. For being the word of God. So, yeah, these expectations are everywhere. And I think the way that we get out from under them is.

Or start to even just recognize them, because I think that's the first step is to even just see what expectations am I living under? And it just takes some intentional thoughts and reflection and journaling. Like, who do you think you're supposed to be?

What do you think you're supposed to do? Anytime there's a supposed to in your life, write it down and then ask the question, who told me it was supposed to be that way?

And is that someone who has the authority to make decisions about my life? A lot of times the answer is no.

So good for a woman listening who has. And you talked about this a few minutes ago. You had this. Something in my life needs to change feeling.

There are people listening who are like, oh, man, just listening to you talk. They know that that's how they feel. What's your advice for them? Where do they start?

I think that figuring out what expectations you're living under is a really good place to start. Because a lot of times the thing that holds us back from making changes in our lives is the idea that we're not allowed to or supposed to.

And so recognizing. Well, like, why. Why we. I felt like we weren't supposed to.

Our kid, our kids were supposed to go to, you know, another year or two of childcare, and then they were supposed to go into preschool and then pre K and then kindergarten. And like in the United States, that's what we were supposed to do. Why? Why does it have to be that way. Like, it kind of felt like it did.

It kind of felt like we were putting our kids at a disadvantage if they went to school somewhere else. Like, but do we actually believe that? Like, no. My kids are learning Spanish right now, and they're getting really good really fast, which is so cool.

That is so cool.

But, yeah, there just are some things where it's like, well, it's always been done this way, so it feels like it should always be done that way.

And I think that until we can recognize what we're living under that way, it's really hard to imagine something different because we feel like we're breaking unbreakable rules. So that's a place to start. And then I think the next thing is to start expanding your horizons of what's possible.

And that a lot of times looks like seeking out people who are doing things differently.

And this doesn't have to mean, you know, if you are, say, you know, using kind of the education example, if your kids are in traditional school and you're thinking, I don't really like how this is going to. It doesn't necessarily mean you need to go immediately find moms who are homeschooling.

Although that's a great idea to talk to people who are doing things that you're interested in doing. But it's more like if you can find people who are just living in different ways, it reminds you that living different ways is possible.

And it kind of helps you think outside the box in really general ways also, even if it doesn't really have anything to do with the decision that you're trying to make.

And then I also think that having, you know, being in a community with people who are doing things things differently, it's really nice to get to talk to people who, again, while their decisions may be different, get what it's like to make different decisions, and you can kind of do some of those things together.

I love that when you think back to your experience before you did this wild, crazy move away from your town and your dream home and your furniture and throw things overboard, who were some of the sort of this person's living differently heroes that. That you met along the way.

That's a great question. There is a woman who. And I've never gotten to meet her, and so I've never gotten to tell her how impactful this was for me, but I will.

There's a woman named Tish Oxenrider who is an author, and she wrote a book a handful of years ago called At Home in the World. And the whole premise of the book is how she's, like, basically 50% homebody and 50%, like, vagabond. Like, wild adventure that just cannot be.

Cannot be held down.

And in the beginning of the book, she talked about how most of the stories of people moving away or, you know, going on wild adventures that people have to be single, and usually they have, like, abandoned their families or their marriages right before they left. And those are the stories that we hear. But in her story, she was taking her. Her family was going together, and her youngest, I think, was four.

And I remember going like, that's young. Is that possible?

And just getting to read about a family experiencing the world together outside of the United States was so helpful for me, because at the time, I was trying to figure out, you know, do we want to be parents? If so, when? And one of my big concerns was, like, well, as soon as you become a parent, you can't travel anymore. And I just.

People had always said that, and so I thought that that's what was true. But she, like, with her story, just kind of blew holes into that and.

Or, you know, broke through that idea and was just an example of the fact that, like, no, I was. Kids live in all kinds of countries. Like, there are kids, in fact, in every society all over the world. And it was just so good for me to see that.

And so that was. That was a really big turning point for me. And I just cried my eyes out into the first couple chapters of her book.

So interesting, the unwritten rules we have in our head.

Like, as you were sharing that story, I was like, yeah, I feel like a lot of us talk like, oh, you know, kind of like when you have kids, that's when you have to, like, find the house and get the Volvo and have the 2.5 kids, and you don't really do anything other than go to work and then go to the soccer field.

Exactly.

You know, like, there's this sort of unwritten rule of how things should be, but they don't necessarily have to be that way.

Yeah, yeah. And I think you get to ask, like, you get to say, is that actually better? Well, for some families it is, but for some families, it's not.

And so if you're the kind of family who's like, please don't make me, you know, get on an airplane, period, or with my kids or, like, I love soccer, like, please don't take me away from the soccer field.

Yes.

Then, like, don't go. Don't go. But if that sounds awful to you then find something that doesn't. And that's, again, going back.

I'm like, I just do not think that God is glorified by us making decisions like that that are so counter to who we are and that we, like, suffer through constantly. Like, there's enough to suffer from in. In life, I think, you know, being at the soccer field shouldn't be one of them.

Like, be there if you want to find something else, if you don't want to.

Absolutely.

Like, suffer where you need to suffer, but don't suffer where you don't need to suffer.

For women who've never given themselves permission to dream about their life, to actually go, what if I could do anything, be anything, experience anything, participate in anything? What would it be? How do you help a woman begin to do that?

So I feel. I'm hoping that everybody listening has seen Runway Bride with Julia Roberts. But she is in a string of relationships.

And in every relationship, she ends up running away at the altar before each wedding. But in every relationship, there's a scene with some eggs. And the way that she takes her eggs is the same as whoever she's engaged to. So poached.

I want mine poached also. Scrambled. I want mine scrambled also.

And in the end, you know, she's falling in love with Richard Gere, who, like, you know, kind of helps set her free.

And she's sitting at a diner in front of a whole table full of different kinds of eggs so that she can try them and see which kind of eggs she actually likes. And I thought about this scene a lot in the wake of that, of a really bad breakup, the one that I mentioned earlier. And I just.

I felt so lost at the time and was like, I don't even know who I am outside of this relationship, and I don't know what I want. I, like. I just don't even know who am I by myself.

And so thinking about that scene, I went to the grocery store and got a bunch of magazines. Uh, this was, I think, before Pinterest. Yeah, it must have been like, a couple years before Pinterest.

The way we used to pin things.

The way we used to pin things. Um, but I would say the analog way. There's something to it.

Um, but so I. I went and I just got a bunch of magazines, and I just started cutting out anything that spoke to me at all for any reason. And that's kind of a practice that I've kept up with over the years.

Now I write things into the Notes app in my phone and if something strikes me as, like, this is great, or like, this is not great, or I love that, or I do not love that, I write it down because I feel like it's just a little hint into something true about me that I may not have words to express just yet. And so I would say some version of that either.

Like an intentional digging into yourself by gathering a whole bunch of inspiration and just seeing what speaks to you and kind of making some. Coming to some conclusions, even just like little baby step ones out of that. That's a great way to start.

And then also just kind of continuing to do that as you go through your days. If something strikes you as something about that really speaks to me, you don't have to know what. Write it down, though.

And all of those sort of little Easter eggs start to build into something where you go, man, I have for the longest time been so, you know, attracted to the idea of eco living or something, you know, like, everything I see, every time I see something about this, it just inspires me or speaks to me and like, what. What does that mean? What could that mean for my life? Starting to kind of collect little clues like that, because they're there.

And there are things inside of you that I think would really like to be unearthed.

I love that. An invitation to pay attention to the things that you like and that you lean towards and that you dream about. I love that so much.

I could ask you a million questions. I'm gonna ask you one more because I think it would be really interesting to hear. You've done all this work.

You.

You've been living the message you're preaching. You've done all this work.

You've invested in women's lives and really called them to release the expectations and to create the life that they actually want to live.

And I'm curious, as you've given women permission to take agency over their life, what are some of the things you've seen happen in women's lives as a result?

Oh, my gosh.

I feel like I am sitting on the sidelines of women's lives with just, like, the hugest, most obnoxious set of pom poms and, like, a giant foam finger. Like, I just. I'm so. I'm such a fan of the women in my community. I mean, we've gotten to see women start relationships, end relationships.

We've seen women go back to school, get their Master's, get their PhD, move to New places, take jobs that they had never considered before, take jobs that they'd been dreaming about forever quit jobs that were soul sucking, but they just hadn't had the freedom to admit that before. Foster pets, foster kids, adopt kids. We've, I mean, make wonderful best friends, learn to cook, like truly every.

Those are, those are the ones that stand out to me. But I love getting to watch women become more themselves.

It's so interesting to me as you say that, Stephanie, because God has used you to make all of that happen and that is through a girl who many years ago didn't know she had agency herself.

Yep, yep.

Absolutely incredible. You, as you have become, you're helping other people become and it's, it's a beautiful thing.

So thank you for sharing and hopping on from Spain at dinner time. We appreciate you so much.

And I know there's women who are going to want to grab hold of your book and follow the journey as you continue to share your life with us. How can they do that?

Well, thank you. Thank you for having me and making the time. This has just been so fun. My book is available anywhere you can get books called create a life you love.

And it's bright yellow, so you can't miss it. And then we are doing some really cool things over on my podcast right now.

My podcast is called Girls Night and it's a place where we put some, some legs to the things that we're talking about.

Like, little by little, we're taking steps into our own authority and agency in our lives and we're making decisions and we're quieting some of the outside voices that are telling us what we're supposed to be and, you know, what we're supposed to do. We have just some really, really amazing conversations happening at Girls Night.

And so because I know you guys are podcast fans and that none of us can ever have too many great podcasts on our feed. Like, truly, we love to meet you at Girls Night.

Love it. Thank you for being with us, Stephanie.

Thanks for having me. Willow.

Friend, I hope that that interview gave you some things to think about. I love that she challenged us to write down the things that we have been made to believe that we're supposed to do and begin to question those.

And I want to invite you. There's so many resources. Go to our website at wecollide.net if you need more and share this with a friend.

But if you need some help to begin to really connect with the idea that living an extraordinary life is very possible. I actually wrote a Bible study book called go ahead and we look at the life of Peter. We look at Peter in the boat.

He's in the boat with some other disciples. And he's actually the only one that had the audacity to step outside the boat and try walking on water. He actually did it first, which is crazy.

And we don't spend enough time talking about that because we spend more time on his failure and sinking. But Peter actually experienced the extraordinary right outside the boat that he was living in.

And so I studied this passage of Scripture and wrote this Bible study book that we've seen women's ministries and women's groups do. And if you need to begin to believe that the extraordinary is possible for you, grab ahold of this book, grab some friends, do it together.

There's even a dream journal in the back where you can help you begin to dream for your life. Because, friend, you were made to experience extraordinary things.

So if there's nothing else, remember that this week, as you collide with Jesus, it's okay to go to him. It's okay to tell your God your dreams. Don't be ashamed. Don't be shy about it. Tell him your dreams.

I've been doing that this year, and I'm seeing my dreams come true. And I want you to know that it's okay to go to your dad as a kid, as a daughter, and be like, hey, dad, these are my dreams.

And ask him how those dreams could possibly unfold for you. Take steps to lean into the life that you want, friend. Keep colliding. We'll catch you next week.