Ep8 Feeling Stuck? The Power of Life-Giving Choices

In this episode, we’re diving into what it really means to choose life—even in the middle of discouragement, anxiety, or hidden struggles. I’m sharing a personal story from the past two weeks... and what helped me get unstuck and find joy again.

You’ll hear:

The sneaky ways we can choose "death" in our thoughts and habits
What choosing life looks like practically (hint: it's NOT simply pretending everything’s fine)
What it means to choose life spiritually, according to Deuteronomy 30:15-16

💌 Don’t miss the special surprise at the end of the episode just for listeners!

TIMESTAMPS

[01:12] Inspo for today's topic

[01:55] Ways we inadvertently choose "death"

[02:21] Personal story

[04:13] Choosing Life is not toxic positivity or "pretending" everything's fine

[05:15] Practical ways to choose life in thoughts, habits, and everyday situations

[09:32] What we need to know about choosing life spiritually...especially if feeling weighed down or missing joy or intimacy with God

[10:39] Choose Life Challenge

[11:30] Free Surprise!!

KEY TAKEAWAYS

With depressive thoughts, listen to a few sad songs to connect with how you're feeling, but don't stay there for hours. Increase the beat a bit and consider incorporating more positive music as the playlist goes on...might even try worship music.

We do the opposite of what fear tells us to do. If fear tells us to hide and avoid, then we choose to go and be seen.

Choosing life is choosing to bring hidden habits and sins into the light.

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

LINKS

Download your FREE Choose Life: Journaling Guide:

cheerful-founder-6991.kit.com/chooselife

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter:

Https://shelleyspence.com

NEXT EPISODE:

We'll answer the question: How do I know if it's God's voice or the enemy's or my own?

Until then, I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

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BU-Podcast-Epi8-converted: Hey everyone.

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Welcome to Becoming Unhindered, the

podcast that empowers young Christian

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women with hope and freedom to

overcome life's toughest challenges.

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I'm Shelly Spence, a licensed professional

counselor and trauma therapist.

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Are you feeling stuck, discouraged,

or disconnected from God?

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In this episode, we're talking about

the everyday ways we can choose

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life emotionally, spiritually.

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And practically plus, there's a special

surprise waiting for you at the end.

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Before we dive into this episode,

I wanna share a quick disclaimer.

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I am a licensed professional counselor.

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However, this podcast and the

information on my blogs and social

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media are not therapy, and this is not

a professional therapy relationship.

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If you need a counselor, I'd highly

encourage you to read my blog on how to

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find a Christian counselor so you can find

a good one that's a great fit for you.

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Check out the.

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Link in the show notes below.

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All right, let's jump into the show.

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Hey friend, welcome back to the podcast.

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I'm so excited that you're here.

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So, today's topic comes from a recent

conversation with my discipleship group.

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So I have this discipleship group of young

women in ministry at our church, and in

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this episode, we're gonna unpack ways that

we might choose death in our thoughts.

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And habits and how we can choose

life instead, how we can choose life

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emotionally, spiritually, and practically.

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And I'm offering my listeners

a special surprise at the end.

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So be sure to listen all the

way through for all the details.

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So this group of de Group ladies, we were

discussing Deuteronomy 30 a few weeks ago

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where Moses is instructing the Israelites,

that God gives them a choice between life

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and death, between blessings and curses.

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And he's urging them to choose life so

that they and their children could live.

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So the girls and I talked about ways that

sometimes we inadvertently choose death.

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So maybe when we're allowing anxious

thoughts to spiral and not interrupting

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them, or when we're allowing unforgiveness

to grow and fester in our heart.

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Maybe even when we're hiding

secret sin or struggles rather

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than bringing him to the light.

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So if you're feeling weighed down

or disconnected from God, I pray

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this encourages you and gives you

some tangible ways to move forward.

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So full confession, I've been living

this topic for the last two weeks.

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Something happened a couple of

weeks ago that deeply discouraged

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me, like shook me to the core.

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My husband could even see it on me.

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He said, I was so tense and looked like

I was carrying the way to the world.

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And y'all, in that moment, I had a choice.

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I could have chosen life.

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I could have given myself grace.

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I could have surrendered the entire

situation of God and moved on, and I

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wish I could say that I chose well.

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But instead, I was choosing death and I

allowed one bad day to keep me defeated

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and in discouragement for 12 full days.

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Every day for 12 days, I felt nauseous.

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I felt disappointed in myself, deeply

disappointed, and I was just miserable

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physically, emotionally, and spiritual.

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It was absolutely terrible.

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I prayed, I journaled.

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I was in my Bible each morning

and I still couldn't shake the

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discouragement or the nausea.

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And then I asked the Lord to show me what

he wanted me to know about the situation.

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And in that moment, I felt him impressed

on my heart, the name of a friend.

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And I knew that in that moment I was

probably supposed to call that friend.

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And instead of choosing to obey in that

moment, I waited an entire week out of

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fear, out of fear that that phone call

wouldn't go the way I wanted it to.

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And so then while preparing for this

episode of this podcast, I realized I

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was afraid and refusing to do what God

was leading me to do in making the phone

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call that I knew would probably set

the facts straight and call my heart.

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So in that moment, I

chose to confess my fear.

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I chose to confess,

refusing to obey the Lord.

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And I chose life, and I finally

called the friend and y'all,

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instantly I felt this weight lifted.

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I felt so encouraged.

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My joy returned and the nausea was gone.

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So I talk to young women all the

time who feel like they're missing

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something in the Christian life.

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They're wondering how they

can find their joy again.

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They're wondering how other people seem

to experience peace and God's presence so

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easily, but they can't seem to find it.

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Could it be that maybe

we're not choosing life?

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So when I talk about choosing life,

I'm not talking about toxic positivity

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or ignoring the pain, or simply

pretending to be fine when it's not okay.

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What I'm talking about is making

intentional decisions in thinking,

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in relationships, in habits,

intentional decisions that move us

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toward growth and healing and hope.

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The truth is we can't control what

happens, but we absolutely can choose

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how we respond to what happens.

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We have a choice.

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We're not a victim.

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Sometimes we're not aware of even the

ways that we're choosing death over

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life, because often choosing life

is found in quiet everyday choices.

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It might be in how we respond to fear

or how we talk to ourselves, even how we

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treat our bodies or interact with others.

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But it's not always this

big dramatic decision.

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So here's some common patterns that

I see, and this is how choosing life

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can look like in everyday situations.

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So the first one would be

like depressive thoughts.

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So choosing death would be maybe choosing

to soak in the sad songs for a day or

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a half a day and isolating ourselves

and choosing to keep this sad playlist

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while we're just continuing to spiral

down into more depressive thought.

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S choosing life might look like.

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Acknowledging our emotions, choosing

life might look like, not staying

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stuck there in the sad songs.

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Maybe we choose two or three sad

songs just so that we can kind of

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connect with the feelings and we

can express the feelings in ways

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that maybe we don't have words for.

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But then we can start to get those

beats per minute up a little bit,

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or even include worship music into

our playlist to help us to not

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dwell on the depressive thought.

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Choosing life might also look like

talking to somebody, even getting

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outside and moving our bodies.

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Choosing life could look like

choosing to take a shower that day.

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And if we notice that the down days

tend to happen more often than not, then

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choosing life might look like considering

talking to a doctor or a counselor.

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There's no shame in needing help.

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Another common pattern I

see is with anxious thought.

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So choosing death looks like allowing

those thoughts to spiral and not

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choosing to take those thoughts captive.

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But choosing life could look like

empowering your brain and your body

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in ways like choosing to cut back

on caffeine, maybe limiting sugar.

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Definitely limiting screen

time, especially social media.

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Choosing life might look like adding in

protein rich meals and not skipping meals.

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Maybe choosing life for you

looks like talking with a friend

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or enjoying some fresh air.

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Maybe it's speaking scripture

out loud over yourself.

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And choosing life is choosing not

to let fear be the boss of you and

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not letting it boss you around.

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If fear tells us to hide and

avoid, then we're going to

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engage and choose not to hide.

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So I'm encouraging you

to choose life instead.

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Another common pattern that I see is

with bitterness and unforgiveness,

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so choosing death in this area is

choosing to hang on to bitterness or

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choosing to hang on to unforgiveness

less, or until that person chooses

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to apologize or makes things right.

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The truth is we may be waiting a

lifetime for that to happen, but

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we can choose life in the moment.

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Bitterness drains life.

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We all know someone who's held onto

bitterness far too long and how much it

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poisons them and everybody around them.

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So we can choose life by choosing

to forgive or at least choosing to

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begin the process towards forgiveness.

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Forgiveness is an act of obedience.

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It doesn't have to wait for the other

person to apologize, and forgiveness

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doesn't have to lead to reconciliation.

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You can choose to forgive.

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You can choose to walk in obedience and

forgiveness without any of that happening.

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The next pattern that I see

is hidden sins or struggles.

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Now choosing death is choosing to

keep things like self-harm, porn

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addiction in the dark, hiding those

things, not bringing them in the light.

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Choosing life is choosing to

bring those things into the light.

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Scripture tells us that we

wanna confess our sins to one

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another and we can be healed.

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James five 16, y'all freedom

is found in the light.

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The enemy would love to

keep you in darkness.

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The enemy keeps you in darkness

by the lies such as no one will

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ever respect you as a Christian if

they found out this was going on.

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No one would ever wanna be your friend

if they knew this is what you were doing.

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You, uh, are the only person who has

ever done this before or ever acted

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this way or ever had this thought.

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All of those are lies from the

enemy to keep you stuck in the dark.

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So whatever you're hiding, I

would encourage you to choose

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life and bring it into the light.

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And then another common pattern I

see is with entangled relationships.

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The truth is, if someone is

constantly draining your energy

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and your peace, choosing life

looks like setting boundaries.

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Y'all, Jesus even had boundaries.

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So set boundaries and stick to 'em.

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You might even need to look for

life-giving friends and relationships,

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but choose life in this situation.

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The truth is many young women are saved

by wondering why they don't feel joy,

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peace, and intimacy with the Lord.

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Scripture tells us in Deuteronomy 30,

that God has set before each one of us

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life and death, blessings and curses,

and God invites us to choose life.

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Y'all.

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He invites us.

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That means we have a choice.

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He's given us the power to choose

life, spiritually speaking.

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Verse 16 tells us that

we are choosing life.

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When we're loving the Lord, obeying

him and committed to him fully.

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The choice is ours.

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So if we're feeling weighed down or

held back in our relationship with the

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Lord, it might help to start there.

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Ask yourself, am I fully

committed to the Lord or am I

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holding something back from him?

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And whatever it is that he reveals to

you that you're holding back from him.

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Surrender it to him, it's worth

it to choose life in that way.

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You might even ask yourself, am

I choosing to obey him in all

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things or am I disobeying him

in a certain area in my life?

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So my encouragement to you is to

choose life that you may fully

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live so that you can enjoy the

abundant life that Jesus died for.

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We've talked a lot today about choosing

life and choosing death and how it's,

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how choosing death is potentially

weighing you down or holding you back.

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And so now my challenge for you is

to take action to break free from the

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patterns that are keeping you stuck.

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Now, I was calling this the next

right step, but now I'm calling

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it the Choose Life Challenge.

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So how can you choose life today?

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I want you to identify one thing that's

holding you back or stealing your joy.

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It could be fear, anxiety, depression,

sin, darkness, unforgiveness,

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whatever it is that's holding

you back or stealing your joy.

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Identify that one thing.

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And then I want to challenge you

to complete one brave step toward

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choosing life in that area today.

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And if you're not sure where to start,

ask the Lord to show you or ask a

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friend, a mentor, a family member.

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You're not alone in this.

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And remember, you have

the power to choose now.

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Just special for this episode.

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If you wanna go deeper.

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I created a free journaling

guide just for you.

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It's filled with prompts to help you

process your thoughts, identify the lies

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that might be holding you back, and ways

to invite God into your healing journey.

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So you can click on the link

in the show notes below.

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Y'all.

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Thank you so much for listening today.

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I am truly grateful and humbled

that you're here, especially as I'm

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figuring out this whole podcast thing.

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I invite you to sign up for my monthly

newsletter@becomingunhindered.com

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so that you can stay up to

date on the latest podcasts and

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receive other helpful resources.

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As we grow.

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You can also rate and review

the show, which allows others

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to find it more easily.

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And if you found this episode helpful,

feel free to share it with a friend.

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So until next week, know that I'm cheering

you on as you seek to become unhindered

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from what's getting in your way or holding

you back from all you were created to be.

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