The Intersection Between Menopause and Divorce 

HOST: Beverly Price, Divorce & Empowerment Coach 

GUEST: Claire Gill, The founder of the National Menopause Foundation

SUMMARY: 

Whether you are facing divorce before, during, or after menopause, there is an undeniable link between the two. The interplay between the emotional and physical changes that accompany menopause can significantly impact one's thoughts, decisions, and experiences during a divorce. Hormonal fluctuations, menopausal symptoms, and the onset of new health concerns during menopause can amplify the challenges associated with separation and lead to a profound reevaluation of life's priorities. Understanding this connection and seeking the right support is crucial for navigating this complex intersection of life changes. In this episode of Her Empowered Divorce, your Host, Beverly Price, talks to Claire Gill, the founder of the National Menopause Foundation. They discuss how menopause and divorce intersect, the impact of the menopause transition on women physically and psychologically, especially in marital relationships, and how you can empower yourself to navigate this unique journey.

Divorce doesn’t have to be a death sentence. With the right support and guidance, you can move through the process with knowledge, skills, and confidence. If you’d like to schedule a complimentary private consultation, reach out to Beverly at: https://beverly-price.as.me/Consultation. 

Visit https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/her-empowered-divorce/id1635143315 to access the entire archive of Her Empowered Divorce episodes, and while you’re there, please subscribe, rate, and review our show! 

KEY TAKEAWAYS: 

• “This is my experience; is this menopause?” This is the most FAQ about menopause. When women younger than the average age of entering menopause (51) start exhibiting symptoms, they are often very confused. Perimenopause can start 7-10 years before you have your final periods.  
• If you are thinking about ending your marriage, you need to get the support you need with both the issues in your relationships and your health, whether it’s night sweats, insomnia, irritability, or anxiety. These experiences can impact your thoughts about divorce and how you manage that process. 
• What can you do if you are in menopause with the loss of libido? There are things that can be done, such as Hormone replacement therapy, that help the woman and the relationship, but you need to be very mindful of what is happening to you and what is happening in your relationship.
• How to prepare for menopause: The things that we need to do to prepare for menopause are the things that we need to do for our overall health. Diet and exercise are important for us throughout our life span, but particularly as we reach middle age. 
• Take stock of your own health, write down any of those symptoms that you're having to have a better sense of what is happening to you, talk to your health provider about your stage of life and what your risk factors might be for any of the conditions that come in mid-life, and research and help educate yourself about menopause.

NOTABLE QUOTES:

• Menopause is when your periods stop consistently for 12 consecutive months; everything before it is perimenopause, and everything after it is post-menopause. (Claire)
• Even if menopause is going on and the symptoms are happening, that doesn't mean it is your fault because, as women, we create a lot of guilt, shame, blame, and comparison. It is not your fault. (Beverly)
• All issues around divorce might not be menopause-related, but they are going to be amplified at the end of life. (Claire)
• Anxiety increases for women, and women who have never been anxious before can develop anxiety during menopause, which might impact their thoughts about divorce and how they manage that process. (Claire)
• We are often worried about being normal, and menopause is a normal, healthy stage of life; we should be grateful that we have lived this long and get to experience menopause. (Claire)
• Knowledge is power, and once we know what to expect, we can make a plan to address it. (Claire)

FURTHER RESOURCES/RELEVANT LINKS: 

Beverly’s personal Facebook page can be found at: https://www.facebook.com/beverlyprice365/

Women’s Divorce and Empowerment group discussion available at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerecovery

Her Empowered Divorce YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@HerEmpoweredDivorce

Women Health organization and government resources: https://www.hhs.gov/

Menopause Society: https://www.menopause.org/

ABOUT OUR GUEST: 

Claire Gill launched the National Menopause Foundation in September 2019. Its mission is to be a trusted and relatable resource to raise awareness and understanding of menopause through education, activism, and community building. Previously, Ms. Gill spent 20+ years in public relations and marketing for national nonprofits and public relations firms with Fortune 500 clients. A respected leader in women’s health, she serves on a variety of coalitions and working groups promoting the needs of women at midlife. She also hosts The Positive Pause podcast, featuring interviews with experts on a variety of topics impacting women’s health and well-being. In addition, Ms. Gill is the Chief Executive Officer of the Bone Health and Osteoporosis Foundation, an organization dedicated to improving Americans' bone health and preventing osteoporotic fractures.

FOLLOW OUR GUEST: 

Website: https://nationalmenopausefoundation.org/

 https://www.bonehealthandosteoporosis.org/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/clairebgill/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nationalmenopausefoundation

Instagram: https://instagram.com/nationalmenopausefoundation

Twitter: https://twitter.com/menopausefnd

Email: cgill@nationalmenopausefoundation.org

ABOUT YOUR HOST: 

Beverly Prices is the empowering divorce coach who guides women on their journey before, during, and after divorce to eliminate pain, overwhelm, sadness, and anger and create more knowledge, skill, and peace that she experienced herself.

CONTACT YOUR HOST: 

Website: http://www.herempowereddivorce.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/her_empowered_divorce

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herempowereddivorce/ 

Facebook Personal: https://www.facebook.com/beverlyprice365

Facebook Group: Women’s Divorce and Empowerment Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerecovery

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/7kIcMXrj1tIWBOmaXBBn1U

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@herempowereddivorce/ 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/beverly-price/

Email: beverly@herempowereddivorce.com

 CHECK OUT MY FREE EBOOK:12 Steps to Empowerment https://herempowereddivorce.com/12-steps-to-empowerment-1

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Hi, beautiful. I'm so glad you're here with me today. It's my pleasure to introduce you to my guest, Claire Gill. She's the founder of the National Menopause Foundation. And you might ask yourself, well, why are we talking about menopause on a divorce podcast? Well, boy, can I tell you there's some direct links there, whether you're going through it before a divorce, during or after.

So Claire's gonna talk with me today about how menopause and divorce intersect, the impact of the menopausal transition on women both physically and psychologically and especially our relationships. So Claire, it is so great to have you. Thank you so much for being with us today.

Hi, it's my pleasure Beverly. Thank you so much for inviting me and I'm really looking forward to this conversation.

Me too, me too. So I know I have a lot of questions about menopause. From my backstory, at 45 I had to have a hysterectomy and they put me on hormones for a maximum of two years. Didn't have any symptoms until I turned 65 and then I had some symptoms. So I have personal experience with this type.

I want to know what's the most frequently asked questions you hear about menopause.

The most frequently asked questions really tend to do with sort of, as you just suggested, you know, this is my experience and is this menopause? And part of that reasoning behind it is because we know so little as women about this natural stage of life. We learn about puberty in school, and then if you choose the path of motherhood, you have birthing classes and parenting classes, but there is nothing.

Mmm.

Mm.

that prepares us for this final stage. So we often get questions from women who are younger than the average age that women enter menopause, and in the US that's about age 51. But when we have women in their early 40s who start exhibiting symptoms, they're very confused. And part of that is because we don't really know what menopause is, and that perimenopause can start seven to 10 years before you have your final period.

Right.

Okay.

Yes.

which is menopause.

Are you kidding? I had no idea. I had no idea at all. That really speaks to me about kind of the overall issue of women's health and knowledge and support. And I think a lot of it goes back to the way we were raised as women is all about giving to others and neglecting ourselves at the expense of giving to others. And so...

Yes!

That's absolutely.

I just, I really wonder why don't we as women know more about something that's so natural, so common, why it seems to be kind of a mystery.

It really is and it shouldn't be. And that's part of why I did found the National Menopause Foundation because it was, you know, 2019 and I realized there was no advocacy organization. And when I say advocacy, I mean more education, empowerment, you know, benefits, adversely advocating for the, you know, better health, better outcomes. And that surprised me given there's a nonprofit for just about everything. And...

there wasn't for this particular stage of life. So I think some of that, again, we could spend a whole podcast talking about why women don't know about this. And I think part of it becomes as a society, when we lose the ability to be reproductively beneficial, then traditionally we were supposed to go quietly off into old age. And I joke with everyone that I've never done anything quietly in my life. Yes, yes.

Exactly.

No.

Put us out to pasture. Oh my gosh That's that's just

We're not, and I've never done anything quietly in my life and I don't intend to do this stage of life quietly. So I think there's a great opportunity for us to explore this, learn, and then empower each other.

No.

I love that.

Absolutely, absolutely. And do you find that women that have gone through it, that have experienced, are open and help other women and share their story? Or do they also keep this as kind of a mystery?

It depends. It depends on the cultural aspect that someone grew up in. And it also depends on when they go through menopause. You and your listeners are probably seeing a lot more in the news these days about menopause and celebrities getting into the industry and providing new products and stuff. Yeah. So we are, we're seeing that change. And I think the fact that we're doing a podcast.

Okay.

Ah.

Baby boomers, yeah.

baby boomers are aging.

about menopause is new. You know, this was only in the last five years that this became less of a taboo subject. We still have a long way to go. I feel like we're in a bubble. Those of us who are talking about it, and it's how to reach our sisters who are struggling quietly without those confidence to talk to that we need to be able to reach out to and make sure that they feel comfortable with this stage of life as well.

Correct.

Absolutely, absolutely. Well, given this is a divorce podcast for women, naturally, where I'm going at is, how does menopause impact the relationships we have, particularly with someone in a marital or a very close partnership?

Well, interestingly, a common theme that comes up when I'm in groups talking about menopause with clinicians and consumers alike is, I thought I was going to get a divorce. I was moving towards divorce in this time stage of life. And part of that is hormonal. We start to have reactions to things that change.

early.

not cognizant of the fact that, oh, at maybe 45 or 50 or even 55, I'm being impacted and some of the things that I'm doing could be menopausal related and things that maybe weren't as frustrating or deal-breakers earlier in our relationship have become to a level where we just can't take it anymore. So I think for this particular, for your listeners, I think there's things to consider. One.

Yeah.

the issues that you're having in your relationship happen throughout your relationship? Or did maybe they begin right around the time that you potentially started experiencing perimenopause, which as I mentioned, can start many years before you reach your 50s. And then perhaps it is, it's called perimenopause, which is pretty much premenopause. And what we think of as menopause as women is just our period stop.

So that's like pre-menopause.

And that's true, menopause itself, the clinical definition, is when your period has stopped consistently for 12 consecutive months. That day is menopause. Everything before it is perimenopause, and everything after it is postmenopause. But we don't learn that, so we just think, oh, I still have my period, I couldn't possibly be experiencing menopausal symptoms. But as I said,

Right.

Wow.

If you're a woman in your 40s, and as you mentioned, women who have hysterectomies earlier in life, or who have breast cancer treatments that lead them to, again, maybe having their ovaries removed, even if they don't have a hysterectomy, go into immediate menopause. And so those are the things, again, that we are not taught.

Mm-hmm. Right.

Gotcha.

Wow. And so I think you touched on it a little bit, but can it really impact whether a woman's thinking about divorce or how she manages the decision?

Yes, and I want to be clear though, I don't want to say that all issues around a divorce might be menopause related. I just think they're going to be amplified at this time of life. So again, if you're going through or thinking about this decision to end your partnership, end your marriage, I think you need to, one, get the support you need for both

Absolutely.

the issues you're having in relationship, but perhaps issues that you're having in your own health, whether it's your physical health with night sweats or irritability or not being able to sleep, all of those things, anxiety increases for women. Women who have never have been anxious or have anxiety before can develop anxiety during menopause. And so those things might be impacting your thoughts about the divorce, but also how you manage that.

Wow.

process. So you want to make sure that you're taking care of your own physical health. Anger? Yes, exactly. All of it. So just being aware of that and being able to get support for both. How do you manage the relationship issues and are there things happening to you physically and psychologically that might be impacting your relationship?

Sure. I would think anger, too, would be a big one. I would think anger would be a big one. Yeah, frustration.

Gotcha.

Yeah, because I can see where you had mentioned earlier, somebody might be having their own menopausal symptoms and get to the point with their relationship that I just can't take it anymore. But also women who are not going through menopause or their menopausal symptoms are mild can, because of other reasons, say, I can't take it anymore.

that since the beginning of my marriage, this has been happening or that's been happening. So I want to be really cautious with that. Plus, I want women to hear this part real clearly. Even if menopause is going on and even if symptoms are happening, that doesn't mean it's your fault. Because where we go as women is a lot of guilt and a lot of blame, a lot of shame, and a lot of comparison.

That's right.

that's.

This is not your fault. And if you want to pursue a divorce during this time, it is not your fault.

It's not. And I think, honestly, if you're more aware of what's happening to you physically at this time of the stage of life, the response you get from your partner when you talk about it will say a lot about the strength of your relationship and your marriage. So, for example, you need to, one, it also, one of the main symptoms of menopause is also, it impacts our sexual health. And,

Yes. Oh, I agree. Absolutely.

We don't talk about that at after a certain age, but it can, it can make, you lose loss of libido is a major symptom that many women face. And again, then you feel like, oh, it's my fault. I don't wanna have sex. And your partner might say, you've lost interest. You don't want me, you haven't had sex. It is hormonal. And yet there are things and support you can get to help increase your libido.

Mm-hmm. Oh, of course not. Yeah.

and then potentially make sex more enjoyable, less painful. Those are real things that happen to women. And if you have that relationship where you can say to your spouse or your partner, wow, this is what's happening to me, and this is what I'm experiencing, that response will tell you a lot about the strength of your relationship. Because I would hope the partner would say, wow, let's figure this out together, versus it's your fault.

Absolutely.

It's your problem. You're not meeting my needs.

Well, what do you do if you're in menopause with a loss of libido? Are there things you can do?

There are, first of all, there's medical treatments and this again is a long story, but the very condensed version is, there was a women's health initiative that many of us are familiar with about 20 years ago that said hormone replacement therapy increases women's chance of breast cancer and cardiovascular issues. So 20 years later, we now know that study was flawed. It looked at women who were taking

Really?

hormone replacement therapy at 65 and above. And when they went back and looked at women who took hormone replacement at the onset of menopause, around 50, 51, or whenever it is for that woman, there was no increase. So we have a whole generation of women who suffered through all the menopausal symptoms because HRT was off the table, and we're still trying to tell women, go back to your clinician, find a person who was

Interesting.

you know, knows how to work with menopause, a menopause specialist, and ask them about the potential for HRT because it is safe, effective, healthy, and inexpensive, and that can greatly increase your, the condition of losing your libido, vaginal dryness, all of those other things that happen with our sexual health as we hit menopause. And then there's topical things that can be done. There's lubricants that can be used.

Wow.

Yes.

All of those things that again, we're not supposed to talk about when we hit midlife because we're not creating babies anymore, but it's an important part of relationship. So yes, there are things that can be done that helps the woman and that can help the relationship. But again, you need to be very cognizant of what's happening to you and yet what's happening in your relationship because there may be things that are unsolvable in that relationship.

bright.

abuse, all of those other things, anything that, again, you've struggled with in this relationship, it's not going to improve just because you're more aware of your medical situation and the change of life you're in. So we do want to just make women aware of it and maybe know that this is common. This is very common. I'm going to share a little personal story which I think might resonate with your readers. So I have a 12-year-old daughter.

Yes.

pleased to please you.

I was a late mom in life and my husband who have never picked up after themselves around the house. They just don't, right? We all experience them. No matter how many times you leave it, they don't pick up. It never, I mean, it always bothered me, but I was actually looking up how to live separately near my family, but not in the same house with them. I didn't wanna divorce. I just didn't wanna live with them. And I started laughing to myself and said,

Hahaha!

Thanks for watching!

I run the National Menopause Foundation and I'm experiencing that same thing myself where I didn't think of, oh, I want a divorce, but I was really, I can't take this anymore. And then I, you know, obviously took a breath and said, oh, okay, I need to figure out a way to resolve this. I really can't afford to live separately. We're not rich to have my own woman cave separate from my husband and daughter. Those are the things that we all experience.

No.

Right.

Yeah.

And as I said, many women have told me that they had experienced that, or again, their level was they were getting divorced. Some stuck it through, and others, like you said, there was problems with the relationship long before menopause.

Absolutely.

And as the coach in me, I want to scream boundaries at when you're telling that story. Let's work on some boundaries. And I'm sure you did that. Yeah. I don't want to forget. I don't want to forget the women that because of divorce aren't in a relationship, that have chosen for whatever reason to live singly with sexual health.

That's... That's exactly it.

that it is important that they take care of themselves sexually so that, you know, so that they are healthy. And I think that's been an even more taboo subject. So these symptoms that we talked about with libido can also affect you if you're not in a relationship, but you still need to take care of your sexual health in that case as well.

Absolutely.

That's right, there's so many things that change as we reach midlife and beyond. And some of that is again, even completely hormonally, but how our body carries weight changes physically at menopause. We go from our hips, and you might say like the little pot belly that women get, and you just can't get rid of it, you can't get rid of it because it really is hormonal change that has shifted how your body carries weight. So there are.

Tell me about it.

All right.

But again, once women know this, then you feel empowered to be able to address it if you choose to. And like you said, that goes with your sexual health. If you're divorced, but you're in your 50s, and you're thinking maybe you do wanna date, but you're not feeling up to it, and you don't wanna do that, well again, there are things that you can do to help support that. And the other thing is empowering women to be like, it's your life. Do exactly what you want with it.

Mm.

Wow.

Yes.

create a life that you desire. You've shared so much about menopause and a little bit about the symptoms, but if my audience wants even more information in more detail, where can they go to find out about it?

That's it.

Thankfully, there's a lot of great resources now about menopause. You can obviously come to our website. It is nationalmenopausefoundation.org. I apologize for writing that all out. The acronym, NMF, was already taken. And there are women's health offices at all the government agencies that actually also provide information about...

Okay. No, that's okay.

menopause and have some great resources available as well. So you can go to HHS for health and humanservices.gov and put menopause into the search engine and it'll bring you up all of the resources from the National Institute on Aging and all the other government resources and health organizations that have great services and information. On our website, you'll find information about all of the symptoms.

Okay.

You'll find an online community that you can join for free and anonymously where you can talk about your situation with other women who are experiencing it. We too have a newsletter that you can sign up for. So there's a lot of support now available for women and it's an opportunity to just investigate what's happening to you and how that compares to others. And I think that the benefit of that is realizing everything is normal. We're so worried about being normal.

Ooh.

And it is, it is a normal, healthy stage of life. We should be grateful that we've lived this long and get to experience menopause. And then a lot of women will tell you, and I just saw this on the Today Show with a woman, they did a segment about menopause and one woman saying, I love it. Now, you have to be able, maybe you have mild symptoms, but the idea of being reclaiming oneself at this stage of life and being able to...

Right.

Ha ha!

Take all the wisdom and things that we've learned.

not have your period. Yay!

Right? Take all of that great wisdom we've learned and then use it to benefit ourselves. I think it can be a very wonderful, empowering time of life. And if it again leads you to make a very difficult decision about ending your relationship, then maybe it took you getting to this stage of life to be ready for that. And so I think women should embrace that if that is the decision that they make.

Absolutely.

When we were talking about sources of information, I noticed one of the things you didn't mention was a woman's general medical doctor. And I wanna share just a little bit of a story about my mother that I found when I would accompany her on visits, a male medical doctor would talk down to her.

and treat her a little bit like she was a hypochondriac rather than listening to her. And I have found that she's not the only one that had that experience, that there were, and maybe it's because this was, oh, I guess it was about 10 years ago or more.

and now maybe doctors are educated more to bedside manner. But I think that can have a reverse effect if you go to your medical doctor and he does not acknowledge this is normal and if he is not informed. Now I would think a female medical doctor would that I may be wrong in stereo. But have you, what's your experience with any of that?

you would think.

That's a really, really good question and comment. Yes, unfortunately, clinicians of male or female get little to no education about menopause in medical school. Yeah. And I actually talked with clinicians about why that is. Yeah, it's really interesting how that came about, but there isn't. So part of it is just, again, ignorance on their part, but many, many women...

That's such a... that's almost criminal, yeah.

talk about the fact that they were dismissed when they went to their doctor and experienced these symptoms, whether they were the physical or the mental. They were told, you're too young for menopause because they were in their 40s or even their late 30s for some women when these symptoms started. Or they were tested for everything under the sun, cancer, dementia, psychological issues. Before they did the.

Yes.

Right.

blood test and looked at the psychological profile and the symptoms to say, this is menopause. So yes, that is a huge issue. Unfortunately, it will continue to be an issue. But another great resource that you reminded me that I forgot to mention, and I apologize, is now it's called the Menopause Society. It was the North American Menopause Society. They just rebranded. It is the clinical organization where clinicians who are interested...

No, that's okay.

in becoming specialized in menopause can be certified through great training programs. So it's easy. Their URL is very easy. It's menopause.org and they have a find a healthcare professional, a certified menopause practitioner. So you can put in your address and see if there are specialists in your area. But if you're also, if you're being dismissed by your doctor for any reason, ask for a referral.

Wow.

fast and new.

Wow.

I'm another doctor.

But you know, and I always say the same thing, yes, find another doctor. But I think Beverly, we're in a little bit of a bubble around that as well. And when I think about my small home town that I grew up in, there was one gynecologist. So there was no go to another doctor. And I think there's a lot of communities still in our country where that might be the case, or your insurance only provides one. So again, I think asking for a referral from your doctor,

3.

Yes.

That's true, I didn't think about that.

it could be to a specialist or for a second opinion, they have to oblige you with that request. So the other thing is if you're not getting any response from your doctor, call your local hospital and ask them if they can recommend a doctor in your area.

Interesting.

Ooh, yeah.

Great, great idea. Anything special that we can do to prepare for menopause?

I think the things that we need to do to prepare for menopause are the things that we need to do for overall health. And I say this as a woman who needs to put my own words into action. So this is one of those do as I say, want as I do. Diet and exercise are hugely important for us, obviously, throughout our lifespan, but particularly as we reach middle age, and here's why. We can lose up to 20% of our bone density

Hahaha

Right.

Oh, yes.

in the first five to seven years post-menopause. And I was sharing with you earlier, my other job is I'm the CEO of the Bone Health and Osteoporosis Foundation. And so obviously a very strong connection between menopause and bone. No one tells us that as well. So you need weight-bearing exercise and muscle-strengthening exercise throughout your life, but particularly as you start to move into midlife.

Wow.

to maintain the bone density that we have so you can prevent fractures and live an active, healthy senior aging life that we all envision for ourselves. It's also important for cardiovascular health. Sorry.

I guess that might be might be yoga, some weightlifting, those kinds of things.

Yes, and cardiovascular activity. Weight bearing means on your feet, right? So walking, dancing, some people run marathons at 50, Zumba, anything that's on your feet. Now swimming and bicycling are fantastic for your cardiovascular health, but they don't help you with your bone health. So you need to make sure you add in impact exercise as well. And that is you said,

Okay.

That's true.

Gotcha.

Yoga a little bit of weight. We're not going to become bodybuilders, but your muscles are there to protect your bones So you do need to do a little bit of that if we do that we will prevent Heart disease osteoporosis all of those things that can you know accelerate as we age doesn't mean we don't get it younger Because obviously we do but they accelerate once we pass menopause because estrogen plays such an incredible role in female bodies

Oh yes.

And when the estrogen is gone, which is what happens at menopause, our body responds by having an, you know, all of these extra potential health risks. So please consider that. And for your bone health, you need calcium and vitamin D. Those are the two most essential ingredients. And the rest we all need, like we all do, eating leafy greens, vegetables, fruits, lean meats and proteins. The things that they tell us to do.

are actually for our benefit, and we do need to motivate ourselves to do those things to be able to live the healthy life we wanna have in our post-menopausal years.

Now as everybody knows on my podcast I like to ask my guests what three actionable steps would you suggest to the women in our audience to help them with menopause and pre-menopause? So you're not going to escape me on this one so what three steps would you recommend?

So the three steps I would recommend is, one, taking stock of your own health. Write down any of those symptoms that you're having that you maybe haven't thought about, but if you've been feeling anxious or if you're having problems sleeping, or if you were having hot flashes or night sweats and you didn't realize that might be what they are. Start writing those down so that you have a better sense of what's happening to you. Because we get so busy.

that have you ever done this where you go to your health care provider and they're like, oh, you know, what's happening? You're like, I'm fine. And then you realize, oh, I wasn't sleeping and I've had my chest issues. Right. So write them down for yourself. Second, I would say is talk to your healthcare provider about your stage of life and what your risk factors might be for any of those additional conditions that come at midlife.

Yes.

Should have said this, this and this, yeah.

Okay.

The important thing is to set the appointment to do that. We as women, as you said, are all about caring for others and just kind of not putting anyone into any inconvenience. But if you wanna have that conversation with your doctor, schedule it for that conversation versus I have the flu and at the end of the conversation, I'm gonna start asking you all these questions about menopause. That's not helpful for you and you're not gonna get the response you want for your clinician.

Yeah.

So you can actually schedule an appointment and say, I'd like to talk with my clinician, schedule an appointment to talk to them about some of the symptoms I'm having and to talk about menopause. Now that can happen, like I said, even if you're in your 40s, don't be dismissed. Say, I know I'm not at menopause, but I am having perimenopausal symptoms and I would like to talk to you about it. So then that would be two. And then the third I would say is, do some of your research as well. Like we said, all of these.

these information that's available online, help educate yourself in a way that unfortunately, it's not immediately provided to us. My young daughter is, like I said, is going through, she just went through her puberty classes in sixth grade and she raised her hand to say, and at the end, it's menopause. So one school in Virginia knows about menopause. But we need more of that. And we do need to, you know.

Oh.

Way to go, girl! Yes!

Google Menopause, go to our website, start to familiarize yourself with it so that you do feel empowered because knowledge is power. And once we know what to expect, we can then make a plan to address it.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. Claire, this has been so information packed, but I know there's gonna be people that wanna know even more. How can my listeners find you?

You can find me by going to the National Menopause Foundation website. And there's actually a contact us that will give you an email directly to me. And I'm happy to respond and connect you with clinicians in your area or support groups or online communities, anything that you need about this stage of life. We're here to help. And, and I really do welcome any question. There's no, except there's no silly questions. We have heard it all.

Okay.

and they're all legitimate questions because we don't know enough yet, yet. Soon we will all be very well informed when we don't know enough yet about this very natural stage of life.

Absolutely.

you're helping so much. And also, if someone's interested in your other organization, where can they find out, find you there?

That too is a long name, sorry. It's bonehealthandosteoporosis.org. And you can just email info at bonehealthandosteoporosis.org. And everyone on our staff gets that email and someone will follow up with you. And we have tons of resources about preventing osteoporosis, improving bone health, managing the disease if you have it. There's wonderful things that can be done these days to protect our bone health.

So yes, I encourage you to reach out to us there as well.

Yes, and I have my bone density exam or test coming up soon. So everybody make sure you do that in addition to your mammogram. Is there anything else that I've forgotten to ask you or any other information you'd like to share?

Very good.

That's exactly right.

I think we covered a lot. Like I said, I could talk about this topic all day. So I think really the most important is to know where the websites are and how to reach us for those ongoing questions. And again, to know that this is a normal stage of life. And yes, women going through menopause absolutely have to consider their relationship as part of that equation.

Hahaha

Absolutely. And remember that menopause can affect you before, during, and after divorce, but that doesn't necessarily, or it doesn't make it be your fault. I just feel real strongly about that.

Claire, thank you so much for being my guest today. This has been so helpful. And in particular, I want to cite that statement you made about hormone therapy, that the actual statistics or the actual research results have been proven incorrect.

So please listen to this podcast in detail and find more information about that. And all of Claire's information will be available in the show notes along with mine. You can find them at herempoweredivorce.com on the podcast page or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also watch the video version on our YouTube channel called Her Empowered Divorce.

divorce. Join me next time where I'll be diving deeper into what another expert professional can share to help you on your separation and divorce journey. Remember you can also find more podcast episodes and information about my divorce and empowerment coaching at herempoweredivorce.com. Please listen, subscribe, and leave us a review. Please share our story with your friends so we

as possible. Thank you for joining us today and stay empowered.