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Words of Wisdom 1 0 9 on using questions to
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change your reality questions.
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Part three.
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How you perceive something
determines your reality.
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There is what happens to you,
and there is the meaning you
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make of what happens to you.
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Of course, ultimately you don't
have control over everything that
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happens, but you can influence
how you think about what happens.
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Let's use a very simple
example to illustrate.
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Let's say your partner
is late in coming home.
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What meaning do you make of this?
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Here are three unhelpful possibilities.
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He's always late or she can
never be on time, or why
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doesn't he ever prioritize me?
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If you respond this way and don't
notice and challenge these thoughts,
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you'll be influenced by them.
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They will lead you to feeling frustrated,
angry, discouraged, and feeling
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justified in your feelings and pain.
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They will likely lead to
more conflict and misery.
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You might choose to do something selfish
as a result, you may feed resentment
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and give her the silent treatment.
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Become sarcastic with him, or just
shut down and avoid talking about it.
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Instead, when your spouse is late
in coming home, you could ask
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yourself, how can I encourage him?
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What can I do to serve
her before she gets home?
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How would I want to be treated
when I walk in the door?
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What's the opportunity here?
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How do I want to handle this?
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What can I be grateful for?
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Is there anything I
need to say or request?
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If you're asking yourself these
kinds of questions, they will shape
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your reality totally differently.
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You can remain grounded and present.
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You won't fall into a victim mindset
or into all or nothing thinking
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or into becoming too critical.
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You'll stay connected to your values.
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You'll be more likely to remain patient.
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You'll be empowered to take
meaningful action and you'll be
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less likely to create conflict.
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You can assume the best about your
partner, be curious about their
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experience, and still be assertive and
kind about expressing any needs you have.
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So whenever you face a challenge,
pause, take a breath, and ask
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yourself some thoughtful questions.
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The more you practice asking insightful
questions, the more you can be
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empowered to live a purposeful life.
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So seek mastery in using
questions to shape your reality.
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Quotes.
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Asking a question is the simplest
way of focusing thinking.
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Asking the right question may be
the most important part of thinking.
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By Edward De Bono, in his book thinking
Course, good questions, ones that we
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care about and want to answer, call
us outward and toward each other.
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They're an invitation to explore,
to venture out, to risk, to
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listen, to abandon our positions.
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Good questions.
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Help us become both curious and uncertain.
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And this is always the road that opens
us to the surprise of New insight by
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Margaret Wheatley in the forward of
the book, the World Cafe Questions.
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How can I make the most of this?
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What is the opportunity here?
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What meaning am I making
of this situation?
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Is there a more helpful meaning I could
make Endnote Growing in the skill of
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asking questions is one of the most
important skills you can develop.
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Improve your questions, and you'll
improve your life, heal relationships,
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and grow in wisdom, live wisely.
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Josh.
