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Success Inspired - Vit Müller EPISODE 41, 30th January 2021
How to overcome your negative self talk, improve self awareness and achieve your life goals with Anne McKeown

How to overcome your negative self talk, improve self awareness and achieve your life goals with Anne McKeown

Anne McKeown is a speaker, Facilitator and highly regarded Master Coach who empowers women to step up, speak up and show up with confidence in business and life so they can enjoy more success every day.

She is a proud owner of 2Mpower.co and has created a step-by-step proven ‘Process for Success’ that empowers women to take full control of their life and business by shifting the psychological barriers that hold them back.

She incorporates NLP techniques when coaching or facilitating individuals and teams because she knows it’s not enough to tell people what to do - it’s essential to show them HOW to do it.

Anne's favourite quote from Deepak Chopra

"When you have your natural born gifts and you use them for the benefit of others, that's true success."

Special Offer:

A free 30 mins Clarity Call with Anne to help you get on the right track -> Click here

Links:

Highlights:

  • (00:00:14) - Introduction of my guest Anne McKeown
  • (00:02:00) - What compelled Anne to become a life coach and seeking positive outcomes with power of Neuro-linguistic programming
  • (00:06:18) - Example of negative self talk to watch out for
  • (00:10:06) - Recommendation on how best to start with NLP and starting with self awareness first.
  • (00:13:33) - Getting outside comfort zone, being accountable and why hiring a coach might be a great idea to help you get where you want to be in life
  • (00:18:20) - Tips on how to achieve your life goals
  • (00:21:59) - Listen to your body and move forward with thought and planning and action, not reaction to things that are externally happening to you.
  • (00:28:19) - Anne's story of overcoming adversity
  • (00:30:19) - How Anne became a life coach
  • (00:39:01) - Toughest challenges Anne had to overcome in her business journey.
  • (00:42:41) - Leveraging your time by the power of delegation and getting others do the tasks you don't have to.
  • (00:44:30) - What Anne didn't though she'd do when she started her coaching business and she now loves doing.
  • (00:45:54) - Anne's success and positive impact on her lifestyle and life of others she helps
  • (00:51:18) - Anne's special offer - free 30 mins initial consultation to help any woman on their journey of change

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Transcript:

Vit Muller: [00:00:14] Hello, everybody. Vit here from Success Inspired Podcast . My guest today is a speaker facilitator and highly regarded master coach who empowers women to step up, speak up and show up with confidence in business and life so they can enjoy more success every day. She's a proud owner of 2mpower.co and has created a step-by-step proven process for success that empowers women to take full control of their life and business by shifting the psychological barriers that hold them back, she can incorporates NLP techniques.

[00:00:51] We'll talk about that in a second. And. She incorporates these techniques when she's coaching or facilitating individuals and teams, because she knows that it's not enough to tell people what to do. It's essential to show them how to do it. Please. Welcome to the show. Anne McKeown. 

Anne McKeown: [00:01:14] Hi. Hi Vit, thank you for the invite. It's great to be here. 

Vit Muller: [00:01:18] Thank you, Anne. Thank you. Great to have you on the show today. I've sort of introduced you a little bit, but what's something that not many people might not know about. You. 

Anne McKeown: [00:01:27] Oh I worked with Leopards in India. To do some volunteer work working in a girl's school.

[00:01:34] And one of the trips that we did with the kids in the school was to go to a leopard village. Yeah. And not many people know that I did. That was about 20 years ago, but it was a very life-changing experience actually. 

Vit Muller: [00:01:49] Oh, wow. How long were you doing that for?

Anne McKeown: [00:01:51] I was in India for six months altogether. And I, I traveled for some of that time and worked at the school for some of the time.

Vit Muller: [00:01:59] That's awesome. 

What compelled Anne to become a life coach and seeking positive outcomes with power of Neuro-linguistic programming 

[00:02:00] That's awesome now Anne what compelled you to become a life coach? 

Anne McKeown: [00:02:05] Well, I never actually set out to become a life coach. Actually. It's one of those things that evolved. I started my career as a coach with sales teams, working with BP oil in the UK. And what I learned through that was every time that.

[00:02:21]I was training teams. The same people would be successful. And I thought, what is it that makes them always successful? And other people always struggle. And I realized it came down to really their mind set and their beliefs. If they believed they could sell it and they could be successful, then nine times out of 10, they would take actions that would lead to that.

[00:02:40] And then the outcome would be positive. Those that didn't have that confidence or didn't have that belief and then have the right mind set. Tended to fail. And so in the 1990s, I decided to go and study NLP. And because I've been around for a long time and through the two thousands, I did positive psychology.

[00:03:02] So it's just always something human nature, the way we think, the way we behave has just been something that's intrigued me. 

Vit Muller: [00:03:09] I absolutely agree. I think it's when we align, when we are positive, when we are positive minded, everything kind of aligns the right direction. When we feel down, when we feel negative, everything just feels like nothing's working out.

[00:03:23] So there is, there is that energy there's it's has a, it's very effective now for, for the ones that are listening that might not know much about what NLP is, can you break that down a little bit? 

Anne McKeown: [00:03:34] Yeah, sure. So it stands for neural linguistic programming The Neural is our thinking. The linguistic is the language that we use and whether that's owed when self-talk or how we talk to other people and the programming is there behavior that comes as a result of that thinking and language, and then their behavior creates our outcomes.

Vit Muller: [00:03:56] Okay. So it's not just for example, what I spoke with Jason, and one of the episodes back, we talk about an NLP and how it's practical to sales. If it's done ethically, but it's also what you say. It's also what we say to ourselves that has the influence on our, we talk about positivity and positive mindset.

[00:04:14] So the NLP is the language that we tell ourselves as well as the language that we use when we communicate. And is that just words? Is it actual language or is it also a body language when it comes to it? 

Anne McKeown: [00:04:24] Yeah, look, body language comes into it when it involves other people. So we can. Read what's going on in their mind.

[00:04:32] Like someone can walk into the office and they, their shoulders are slumped and they bang down their coffee and they sit down and you can just tell they're in a mood without them saying a word. And they can also then read what's going on in our mind, so people can pick up if you're confident or nervous or.

[00:04:49] Without you saying anything people really can read what's going on in your mind, but where did I find it? The most powerful is what we say to ourselves because when we are struggling, our self-talk tends to be, I can't manage this. I'm not doing well with this. I'm not good at this. This is hopeless. And, and we feed that to the brain. And the more that we're telling that the more we create a pathway in the brain that repeats that and equisite back at us. And it's really difficult then to pull ourselves out of that. And it's why positive affirmations are very popular and, and some people will say oh that doesn't work it's just words, but actually in creating the pathways, neuroscience has taught us that it does matter, even if you don't believe it, constantly telling the mind eh, you might be saying, "I can't do that yet", that's much more positive than saying "I can't do it" because it leaves room for growth. 

Vit Muller: [00:05:45] Yes. Absolutely. I know there's other words that, that happen in conversation as well. When you know, you're trying to, for example, praise say somebody in your team and your business you want to praise them for, for something that they've done well, but then you say the word, "but" at the end and that kind of cancells everything that you said in front of it, right.

[00:06:08] So much better is to say is the word "and" so you praise them. And even, even if you do want to sandwich in, some negative feedback, use the word 'and' instead of 'but' . 

Anne McKeown: [00:06:17] Absolutely. 

Example of negative self talk to watch out for 

Vit Muller: [00:06:18] Is there any other, any other like examples of, of going back to that, self-talk like specific examples of those words that people might be telling themselves that they need to watch out for?

Anne McKeown: [00:06:29] Oh, look, I've got a whole list and things like I don't have time then instead, if you could see, how can I make time for this? I'm not able to do that instead of it. Cause we know I can't do that instead. If you say I'm learning. What it does is it just keeps more positivity rather than going into that negative spiral of feed and doubt.

[00:06:55] And I, and another thing is that the brain doesn't understand negatives. So when you're talking to a child, for example, and you say don't run what the brain hears is run, and then you have to think of run to then think of don't run. And so it's like Negative comes afterwards. So instead if you see one positive command like walk, but then, then immediately the brain says, Oh yeah, walk, cause every time we say something, it creates a picture in the mind and then we react to that picture.

[00:07:27] So if you say "Don't talk" we think of talk, then we have to unthink it to be. Don't talk. But if you see, be quiet immediately, we get this picture of silence. 

Vit Muller: [00:07:39] Right. And there's also brings an interesting topic about how NLP influences us from early on in our, in our childhood and how that forms our beliefs and how that, how, how they could form what we believe is possible later in life.

[00:07:55] Right? Because when, we're little kids. Our brain is just like a sponge, right? We are, there's no limits to our creativity, right? Creativity. But if we are constantly being taught these negative words as we are being raised, that that can also have a negative influence later on. Right? 

Anne McKeown: [00:08:14] It's huge. And a lot of the work that I do is undoing that negative.

[00:08:19] It's helping people to say. You know, need to let go of those old beliefs, that old way of thinking that old language, because it's no longer serving you. You're not a seven year old child anymore, you know, it's time to grow up and, and, and cut loose cords, let go of that stuff that's not serving you and retrain the brain with these new ways of thinking and these, this new language and this new behavior.

[00:08:46] It, it, it's, it's huge. And, and most parents and teachers and people around us tell us things. They think that often they're doing it right. You know, like, Oh, if you do that, you'll never be successful because that's their fear for us. Yeah. And then I think the thing it from a place of love, but actually they're putting their fear on us.

[00:09:06]One of the things I find really funny and I did it with my own children is when the very young we say to them, come on, you can walk, stand up on your own two feet, hold onto the furniture, walk to mommy, and we want them to talk. So we see come on shout load and ask for dinner or ask for this or that.

[00:09:25] And then we send them to school and we tell them to sit down and shut up and they have to do that for 12 years. 

Vit Muller: [00:09:31] So you cancel everything

Anne McKeown: [00:09:33] Yeah. And then they come out being put in this box and then they lose that identity. And that's when the problems start. 

Vit Muller: [00:09:42] Yeah. I hope that maybe one day or no things change the whole way everything has been set up the educational system because you know that you already have countries. Like, I think it's Sweden or some of the Norwegian counties, they're a bit more experimental with how they approach education, they're a lot more flexible and sort of giving the power to the kids and let them to be more creative and come up with solutions. I quite like that. 

Recommendation on how best to start with NLP and starting with self awareness first. 

[00:10:06] Now, if somebody is looking for, to get to know a bit more about NLP and how they can incorporate that either to be a better parent or to be, you know, to be more Successful and, and, you know, maybe the, somebody that's been going through some tough time and they've been quite negative and you know right now, they're listening to this and they're looking at, okay.

[00:10:25] I'd really liked the idea of getting myself more positive and, and be able to do have better self-talk and be more mindful of how I say things. What, where could they go for bit more education about NLP? 

Anne McKeown: [00:10:39] Well, look, there's tons of stuff on, on Mr. Google. And so, so you can look up anything there's the, in Sydney, there is Tad James's company there's but what I would see is there are lots of different modalities that the most important thing is not to cling to one thing, but to say "where I'm at now feels unsatisfactory and I want to change." And so it's about self-awareness first. So what is it about myself that same or trap I keep falling into that doesn't allow me to move on because we actually sabotage ourselves. One of the biggest thing that I do with the women I work with is just say to them, get out of your own way.

[00:11:26] W w what, what you're trying to do is so doable. I can see it and I can see their blind spots, but we can't see our own blind spots. That's why there are blind spots. We need someone else to reflect them back to us and to say. Well, the re you know, it appears to me and you can correct me if I'm wrong, but the way that you're doing this as resulting in that, and nine times out of 10, they go, Oh yeah, you're right.

[00:11:53] I didn't even realize that's what I was doing. I mean, my own situation, for example, was I became quite a martyr. And even though I've got a great life, I was a bit more moaney and blamed my husband for everything, which was great because it just meant that I didn't have to face the reality of what I had created in my own head.

Vit Muller: [00:12:12] Also you're from Glasgow, right? 

Anne McKeown: [00:12:14] Yes, yes, yes. But I know live in Sydney and I've got nothing to complain about really.

[00:12:22] Although I still find, lots to complain about because we're wired for the negative and. Again, neuroscience has taught us that for every negative that we think or see, or do we need, we need a minimum of five positives just to balance that out.

[00:12:39] So the parts of the brain that wire together and fire together, when, when people were showing one negative picture like a baby crying or bad weather, or couple arguing, certain parts of the brain would light up. To get that same intensity with positive pictures, like sunshine or to baby laughing or a couples skipping and dancing.

[00:13:02] They needed five times the positive pictures. So if someone falls out with you and they see something nasty and you're upset with them, they need to say something nice, do something. They send you flowers, apologize again, and invite you out for dinner, before they are, just back on an even keel with you, and then they probably need to do one or two nice extra things for you to really feel back on, on a good level with them, which is why relationships are so difficult.

Getting outside comfort zone, being accountable and why hiring a coach migh be a great idea to help you get where you want to be in life 

Vit Muller: [00:13:33] Yeah. Why do you think, is it, why, why do you think that brain works in such a way? 

Anne McKeown: [00:13:38] What I've learned through studies is it's survival. We're constantly thinking that something is coming to attack us because we still have that old reptilian brain that we had thousands of years ago. Yes, we've evolved and we've become much more clever, but where we used to get really nervous around A saber tooth tiger coming out too, to a jump on us or somebody's going to pilferage the village.

[00:14:03] No, we'll miss the bus. And we have that same reaction, that same aggression and adrenaline and fear. And, and, and that, that fear can keep us very stuck. And I think too, our life is so comfortable now that. It's probably the most uncomfortable place to be when you're in your comfort zone. 

[00:14:26] Yes, because you don't evolve anymore.

[00:14:29] I had a good shit about that. Another, another two guests on my podcast just this morning that I've interviewed and we talk about emotional intelligence and and how it's important to get outside of the comfort zone, because that's where things happen for you. We all have our own limits in life and we all have our, you know, imposter syndrome in one way, shape or form at one time or another in our life.

Vit Muller: [00:14:50] So overcoming these. These things is, is a way to, to grow. 

Anne McKeown: [00:14:55] Yeah. One of the problems I think, is everybody looks at the big picture and gets overwhelmed at sort of like, Oh my goodness. For me to get from where I am to where I want to be and where, I want to be, would just be perfect and great but if it sort of like climbing the stairs of the Eiffel tower, you can't see the top. You just have to take one step at a time. And if you can see, I know where I'm heading and I'm gonna take one step at a time. At the next step, you have a choice. Do I go forward or do I go back down? Okay. I'm going to go forward.

[00:15:27] And at the next step you have a choice. Do I go left or do I go right to ? And when we get stuck, it's when we believe we no longer have a choice, like even when you're between a rock and a hard place, you still have a choice. I go towards the rock or does that get stuck in the hard place? And then okay. If I go towards the rock, what did I do?

[00:15:46] How did I claim all of it at who they claim under it, around it through it. And I think what happens when we get overwhelmed as the brain shuts down so that we then can't think of ways through we, we, we just see, it seems impossible and we need someone else to help us a mentor, you know, a coach or somebody else to say.

[00:16:07] I can see a way through. And how about we try this together 

Vit Muller: [00:16:13] and this is why coaching? Like, what you do is it comes, it comes as a very effective tool because as a coach, you can take somebody from a to B you can. Ask them the right questions to get them to start thinking questions that they may have not, or wouldn't have asked themselves. Right? 

Anne McKeown: [00:16:31] Yes. It's, it's about that, that deeper level of questioning. You're absolutely right. And it's also about. We let ourselves off the hook. So say, and you'll know this, there is somebody that wants to lose weight, for example. And then it'll get to Saturday night, eight o'clock has been good all week and the thing, you know what I'm going to have that wine and chocolate.

[00:16:48] Whereas if they're, if they've got someone walking alongside them and if they think, Oh, I've got to tell my coach on Monday that I had that wine and chocolate, then maybe I won't do it. You know, there's, there's, there's an accountability of some sort that makes a huge difference. And I. I find with clients that I work with.

[00:17:10] They'll, they'll say to me, if I wasn't having this call with you today, I wouldn't have done X, Y, and Z, but because I knew I was coming on the call, it forced me to prepare or to dig deeper or to fill in that journal or, you know. 

Vit Muller: [00:17:24] That's right. Plus they know there's a purpose. There's a reason why they've hired you in the first place to get through, to, you know, for you to help them to get to get somewhere. And so, and typically this is like, from what I know, it's typically like weekly or periodically catch ups. Right. So if they know that on Monday, they're going to have that call with you where, you know, and I've had few coaches typically, you know, As one what's the, what's the word I don't want to standardize, but typically it is a one of those strategies where we say, okay, what's worked for you.

[00:17:54] Any, what what's worked for you last week, what didn't work for you last week? What are we going to work on this week? Right. So there's always that part of the coaching call, let's say. And so they know that you will be asking them what went wrong, and then if they're deciding to have that wine or it'll really have a binge, then.

[00:18:14] They are just sabotaging their own, their own progress. 

Anne McKeown: [00:18:17] Yep, yep. Yep. Absolutely. 

Vit Muller: [00:18:20] And

Tips on how to achieve your life goals 

[00:18:20] this is applicable to anybody anybody's goal, whether it be personal, whether it be personal or a business goal. Right? Absolutely. Are there any any other tips that you would recommend for somebody who was looking to achieve their goals? Their life goals. 

Anne McKeown: [00:18:36] Yes. Look, I think one of the things that we do is often people say to me, I don't really know what I want. Cause I'll say, well, what, you know, what do you want? I don't really know. I just know I'm unhappy. And so one of the things that I would say is go back to before you were married or before, like when you were young, what did you do?

[00:18:54] That was really fun. So for me it was dancing. I used to run a dancing school. I was dancing from, I was about. 12. And I know, know now that when I feel a bit stuck or a bit down, I go and play some music and I dance about, and that makes me feel better. Ask other people, what are you good at? So when I was feeling stuck in, as I say it, I didn't actually plan to become a coach.

[00:19:16] It kind of evolved through different things that I did. That I would say to people, you know, what do you think are would be good at? And they'd say, Oh, well, you're, you're great at bringing people together. Or you always seem to have an answer for other people's problems. Even though at the time I felt I couldn't solve my own.

[00:19:32] We all know that one don't we ? And so that you can often get feedback from other people to say Have you tried this? What about that? And nobody has a magic bullet, It's literally try it. It'll either work it or won't won't. But if you don't try, you'll never know 

Vit Muller: [00:19:51] That's right. That's right. Anything do anything, if you feel stuck, do anything that will break that, break that rhythm. And go from there. 

Anne McKeown: [00:20:00] I like to see life is like a one big experiment. You know it's like, I'm going to try this and if it works, that could be great. And if it doesn't, well, I'll just not do it again and I'll try something else.

Vit Muller: [00:20:12] Yeah, absolutely. 

Anne McKeown: [00:20:13] And a big part of that actually is about giving ourselves permission, permission to fail permission, to try even it may not work out. Because I think as children were told, if you try that and it doesn't work. There'll be consequences, you know? And then that puts fear in us of either failure or disapproval or loss of money or loss of fees or loss of time. 

Vit Muller: [00:20:34] That's a perfect example of, of that negative mindset around failure, right. Where they said, well, be careful because it might not work out. Be careful because of my fail. Well, If we always communicate failure or something negative, then yes, that will always, that will always be something that might stop us from trying something.

[00:20:53] But what is failure really is just a learning experience that will properly your forward. You're going to do something differently. You're going to learn from that. So if we, if we. And then going back to what we said to start, right? How can we change things to a more positive, right? So in this scenario, well, failure, if we know that failure is not really a failure, failure is really just a learning experience, then it's never a failure.

Anne McKeown: [00:21:18] Yeah. Yeah. I like to say that it's not failure. It's just feedback so when you try something and it doesn't work, then, then neither, the market's telling you, it's not what it wants or your. Financial situations telling you that this isn't working or your time or your, and you're like, okay, so now I need to try something else.

[00:21:39]And it's the same adrenaline that's pumping, rowing the body, whether we excited or scared. So if you can see, I'm going to see this as an experiment, I'm going to get excited about it and then just see how it turns out instead of. I'm really scared or nervous. And I don't know if this is going to work turn, turn, that adrenaline into something positive.

Listen to your body and move forward with thought and planning and action, not reaction to things that are externally happening to you. 

Vit Muller: [00:21:59] Absolutely. Now how can somebody tap into what motivates them? I know a one is to have a thing back those moments, like you said, when you were really happy, like you mentioned dancing, any other, any other strategy that people can utilize to sort of. 

Anne McKeown: [00:22:15] I think we need to listen to our body more. So when we are feeling motivated and driven, we just have this abundance of energy.

[00:22:24] It's just like, I just want to do it. Even if I don't get paid, I'll do it. I just, my money's not my drive, but it's, it's that sense of being who I was born to be. And. We feel that in the body and then in the same way that when we're not doing it. So if you're stuck in a nine to five job and you hit it and your boss is a bism and you just feel miserable, you'll feel it.

[00:22:44] You'll, you'll either feel a heaviness or, you know, you get heart palpitations or headaches or whatever. But what we tend to do is we all just stick a tablet just take a pill, and get rid of that. Whereas if we could stop and see, where does that headache coming from? Where are those heart palpitations what's causing that?

[00:23:02] And it's really a thought, everything starts with a thought. So whatever thought you're having about the situation that you're in, that's impacting how you feel. And then the feeling creates an emotion. And then we react based on that emotion. And instead of reacting, We want to be able to say, no, I'm going to act, I'm going to choose how I move forward with thought and planning and action, not reaction to things that are externally happening to me. 

Vit Muller: [00:23:34] Absolutely. I mean, if we talk about wellbeing and as a holistic approach, overall, this is where mindfulness comes in. Right. Being mindful of your own, of your own state. Right.

[00:23:45] And one of the other examples is also when we're doing constantly things in a day, and then it comes the end of the day and we feel like we haven't achieved anything. We feel like we've done a lots of things, but we can't even remember what we've done. One of the great. That works for me anyway, is to stop in, write things down.

[00:24:02] Like as I go through the day, check things off you know, when I accomplish tasks, I mean, I like to do it in the morning, just set my plan or what I want to achieve that day, but also just physically checking it off or with a pen, just crossing it off. And it comes to the end of the day. And if I have that feeling like I it's just been a hectic day, I feel like I've just been a bit, you know, I don't feel bad, feel bit unsettled.

[00:24:22] I just go back to that. But back to that notebook and just go through and read through and just helps me reconcile of all my efforts that I've done through the day. 

Anne McKeown: [00:24:30] Yeah. I call it a done list. So I say to my clients, I want, at the end of the day, I want you to write down everything that you've done today.

[00:24:37] So not a to-do list, but a done, and you know what, some days just getting out of bed and showering and making dinner for the family some days. That's a, that's a take, you know, I think we're terribly hard on ourselves and, and there's this terrible thing of everybody else around you seems to be doing better, especially on Facebook and all the other platforms.

[00:25:03]Whereas if some days you can see, you know, what, just, just being able to. 

Vit Muller: [00:25:08] Stop and smell the roses. 

Anne McKeown: [00:25:09] Yeah, absolutely. And, and just stop being so hard on ourselves, because again, there's that, self-talk what we say to ourselves is often worse than we would ever let someone else. I mean, if someone was to say to us you're no good and, and yeah, you haven't done enough today, and you're not earning enough money and you're not pretty enough and you're not smart enough and you're not, you'd want to punch them.

[00:25:31] But yet we say that to our selves all the time. 

Vit Muller: [00:25:35] Why is it that we're conditioned to do that? 

Anne McKeown: [00:25:39] I think it comes from again, the childhood thing of getting approval is very much how we're set up early on and personality too. Like some of us get approval through being, you know, a good girl and sitting pretty and not creating a fuss.

[00:25:56] Others get their approval from, Oh, you were the top of the class. Others it's about money. It's like, yeah, I've got a big host and a flash car. Even if I feel insecure inside. I get my sense of belonging from that, or, or a sense of authority. Some people are very driven by being in charge, you know, being a Sergeant major in the army or something.

[00:26:16]So, so that is partly nature, partly nurture. 

Vit Muller: [00:26:20] Mm. So, so childhood how we we're raised and then also in a current state as adults, how else it gets influenced is the surroundings and people that we surround ourselves with. Right. Where if there is. Like we, you know, it's said that you are the average of five people that you surround yourself with.

[00:26:37] tIf those five people are all materialistic, perhaps as an example, always talking about, you know, who's, who's going to be the first who's going to buy the house or who's going for what fancy holidays. Then you're always going to think that that is the, that is the essence of success, but it's not.

[00:26:58] And then you're going to feel like stressed and trying to work harder and unhappy because you're still not there and then it's just that repeating cycle Right. And then when we are stressed and then our IQ goes down, we're not able to think as clearly and properly. 

Anne McKeown: [00:27:12] I like to think of success as something that feels good on the inside, not just something that looks good on the outside. Success real success is when you feel at one with yourself and the world around you, I think it's that balance. Where, where, where are your thoughts, your words and your behavior are all congruent because often we live our life and it's where we have this turmoil.

[00:27:37] Cause it's like, we're thinking something. But we are saying and behave doing something else because in our heads are thinking, I really don't want to do this, but we're doing it because we're trying to please other people or we think we ought to, or it's the right thing to do. And so we're doing it, but with a.

[00:27:54] Negative attitudes or we're, we're telling lies, you know, it's sort of like, well, I'll say this cause this is what they want to hear, but I don't really believe it. And and then afterwards we don't feel good about ourselves So congruence is, is really what, what I think leads to real success as a sense of wellbeing on the inside.

Vit Muller: [00:28:17] Yeah, absolutely. 

Anne's story of overcoming adversity

 [00:28:19] There's also examples of how people turn their life around as a result off something life-changing happening to them. Right. Have you have something life-changing happened to you that made you change something in your life? 

Anne McKeown: [00:28:34] Yes, actually. So when I worked for corporates and this was in the UK, I had two things happen in the same week.

[00:28:44] One was that my boss at the time I was trying, I had been working with company for eight years and they were getting rid of Licensees who owned the petrol stations and they were putting managers in. And my boss said to me at the time, "we have to get rid of all these licenses and just have managers".

[00:29:02] And I said to him, I can't do that. I've been working with these people for eight years to help them build their business. I can't no just go in because it's more profitable for the company to tell them that we're getting rid of them. And he said to me, well, if you don't someone else will. And I was gutted because I really admired this man.

[00:29:19] He was a brilliant boss. We got on really well, and I was shocked. And in the same week believer or not my boyfriend at the time was killed in a car crash. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, look, it was 20 years ago, so like, it's fine, but it was, but it was pretty tough at the time. And his friend called to tell me, and I said, you have to tell me where is he where is he.

[00:29:42] I have to go and see him. And he said, you can't his wife is with him. 

Vit Muller: [00:29:50] So you didn't know he had a wife. 

Anne McKeown: [00:29:52] Yep. So overnight I became a mistress. Yeah, so, so both of those things, two men that I really admired and loved and trusted both at work and in my personal life So my whole what's life all about I'd lost faith in humanity.

[00:30:10] And then, so I decided that at that point I quit corporate. Gave back, my company car, rented out my apartment and that's when I went to do the voluntary work actually. 

[00:30:19] 

How Anne became a life coach 

Vit Muller: [00:30:19] Mm. Now, can we tap into your journey becoming a life coach because I don't think we've talked about that much. 

Anne McKeown: [00:30:26] We should. Shouldn't we, and yes or I, when I left, I actually started working in a high school, so I did all my travels and then I met my beautiful husband. And we got married and we lived in Spain for a while. Then we moved back to London and I worked in a high school with children who were very smart, but not doing well. So they were wasting time at school and I was called in by the school to work with these kids. And it was basically that they didn't believe in themselves and they had no one that believed in them.

[00:30:59] They didn't realize they were smart and capable, they were actually bored at school and they didn't have a vision and goals and an action plan and everything. And so, I absolutely loved doing that job. We then moved to Australia and I didn't work for about six years because my husband traveled a lot with his job.

[00:31:21] And I was buying a house, buying a dog, getting the kids in school, doing volunteer, work, making friends, all of that. And actually I love not having to work. I felt very blessed. But then about five years later, I hit 50. I hit menopause. Kids were going on to uni. I started to feel I wasn't needed anymore.

[00:31:41] I'd lost my purpose. So it was like, I'd lost confidence because I hadn't worked for a long time. Technology had moved on. Yeah. And I just felt very, very alone and, and quite afraid of the future sort of like, Oh my God, I'm getting old. And. I don't know what, what the future holds 

Vit Muller: [00:32:00] is that also because yeah, children now that they're old enough, so it was like you had that purpose and as a mother, when, when you were raising them up, right.

[00:32:07] You had something that fill that gap through the day and then now was they were going to uni. Okay. I can, I can understand. 

Anne McKeown: [00:32:14] And I was busy every day and, and I was needed every day. And then suddenly it was like, Oh mom, we don't want you to pick us up from school. And my husband would say, why are we on a business trip for two or three weeks or, and saw not having family.

[00:32:27] I got quite lonely. And so I went to see a coach and and I said to her, I don't know what to do. And she said to me, you should become a life coach. And to be honest, I didn't even really know what that was. And she said, use your experience with. your BP sales stuff, your NLP, your positive psychology, your role as a mother and, and help other women.

[00:32:52]I just had this great vision of find what's missing and make that your mission. So what was missing for me at that stage in my life and how could I help other women that felt the same? So I started a meetup group. Someone told me about meetup. And we met locally, just in a church holder in the Rode.

[00:33:12] And I said to these ladies, I've become a bit of a martyr. I've become a bit of a mourner and I'm not happy. And I want to be able to create a community where we make a positive difference in our own lives. Because I know when we take responsibility for ourselves, everyone around us will benefit. And it was kind of like a new, all the NLP in theory.

[00:33:35] But at that stage in my life, I wasn't putting it into practice. And I had 60 ladies sign up in the first week of that meetup. And I was like, yeah. Holy moly. There's a need for this. 

Vit Muller: [00:33:48] That's impressive. And what I like about this is that you, you know, you've realized this is happening to you and you've come up with a clever solution to, you know, a lot of people would just, you know, hide under the rock or just stay miserable.

[00:34:02] But you decided to do something. And I guess having that experience about a positive mindset and NLP from earlier on while you were working for BP, that, that actually helped you help you come up with that solution, right? 

Anne McKeown: [00:34:16] Yes. And you know what? It was also about my girls. I was worried that they would see me as.

[00:34:25] You know, sort of giving up or depressed or, and, you know, we live a beautiful life here in Sydney and they're very privileged. But as we talked about earlier, I'm from Glasgow and very working class background. And my husband and I have worked hard to achieve what we have now, but I wanted them to see that everybody struggles at different stages in life.

[00:34:46] That it doesn't mean that life's only difficult when you're a teenager in your twenties. But only you can change your life. You have to make that decision. And sometimes you have to really hit rock bottom to then say, I'm going to do something about this. And we have this thing at home where whenever we, I introduce that time a when they were starting uni, I said to them, you're going no for three to five years to learn your new topic.

[00:35:13] I'm now going to learn about running a business, becoming a coach, personal development and this is sort of my university training. So when we come home at night, we all do this kind of thing, like with the thumbs. And if we've had a good day, we give a thumbs up. And if we've had a rotten day, we give a thumbs down.

[00:35:31] And so in the early days I was given thumb down every day, because I was like, This technology is terrible. I'm finding all this too hard. I can't do this. I'm too old, all that negative self-talk. And then they were saying, Oh, come on mum. And don't give up, you can do this, you know? And they started to coach. .

[00:35:48] They were repeating back to me what I'd said to them when they were younger and things, and it just showed them that, you know, we all have to pick ourselves up and get on with life every day and reach out and ask for help when you need it. 

Vit Muller: [00:36:03] And it's interesting when you put somebody in a position to do that, to be put them in a position of a coach, how they don't even realize Initially, but how it actually, how much it helps them to grow, you know?

[00:36:15]It's something I've just recently one of our coaches at the gym. I hired a new coach, a younger guy, right. He's 19. He's just, you know, studying his exercise physiology. And and he, so he's just starting doing a couple of, couple of classes as a second trainer in the class, but I've got the other guy who's been coaching for about a year now.

[00:36:36] And while he's also young, he's a little older, he's been doing it for some time. But you know, he, he himself, you know, I've highlighted to him and he's highlighted he's realized, you know, he's got some things that he needs to improve. But. Hiring this new guy and put him in under him. And I told him, make sure, you know, help him out, whatever he needs do that.

[00:36:58] And then I just let him, you know, for a week or for two weeks. And then we, we, we touched base again. And I said, so, you know, how is has Jeremy, how has, how is everything going with that? And he's like, yeah, you know, I'm working with him on a few things, you know, he's, he knows what he needs to work on. A couple of things I've told him what to do.

[00:37:16] And so he was talking as a coach. And he was like, all like, excited about doing it. Like he had a purpose and that also raised his level of quality as a coach, I've noticed in the studio. So, so 

Anne McKeown: [00:37:29] yeah, one of the things that I see and it's exactly that it's step up, speak up and show up with confidence.

Vit Muller: [00:37:37] Mm. 

Anne McKeown: [00:37:37] And when you can do those three things but you have to be willing initially to step up to the plate. But indsight's a great teacher because with, with the joy that, that brings when you break through or when you're doing it, like Jeremy is phenomenal, but at the time, You're not sure.

[00:37:57] And, and, and, and that whole thing about being thrown into the deep end. Sometimes that's just the best way, you know, you just put someone in that position and say, come on, you're the leader. No, get on with it. But it makes you do it and you haven't got time to think, then you just go into... often I'll tell clients to become a robot because a robot doesn't think it just does what it's programmed to do.

Vit Muller: [00:38:18] Okay. Yeah. I like that. 

Anne McKeown: [00:38:20] And, and, and if, if we think, cause you'll know this, the main will give up before the body does. And if, and so if we don't allow the mind to have an opinion, if you just say, get a robot, your program to do 20 press-ups, don't think about it, just fricking do it. And then they'll, they'll do it.

[00:38:38] I mean, I've had ladies where they, they, they're afraid to make a phone call about something. And I'll say, here's the form I'm sitting beside you right now. You're not leaving till you make that call and the make the call and they come off. She said, yay, sort of happened. Or it. 

Vit Muller: [00:38:53] You know, like they've, they've broken a new, new barrier.

Anne McKeown: [00:38:56] Just do it, Nike got it right when they said just do it. 

Toughest challenges Anne had to overcome in her business journey. 

 Vit Muller: [00:39:01] Yeah, absolutely. Now talking about your business now your life coaching business that you've been doing for, for how long, now? 

Anne McKeown: [00:39:08] Five years now, 

Vit Muller: [00:39:09] For five years. What were some of the toughest experiences that, that you had in starting and growing your business so far?

[00:39:16] Oh, for me, it's definitely the marketing and the technology like Facebook advertising. When people meet me, if I do a live event or if it's on a podcast or something like that, then I think people get to know me easier when I, I I'm a people person. I can create that bond and rapport whereas if it's writing an Ad with a pretty picture and hashtags and blah, blah, blah.

[00:39:47] I, I, it turns me to be honest. 

[00:39:50] It's a tough one. Yeah. I know. 

Anne McKeown: [00:39:52] I've really, really struggled with that. Yeah, 

Vit Muller: [00:39:56] Especially with your background and understanding, NLP and all that, you know, that, you know, in terms of priority when it comes to influence and, and, and being a value and, and connecting with people.

[00:40:08] The number one thing is always going to be face to face or what we are doing right now over zoom right? 

[00:40:13] We can see a facial expression, tonality, everything. So everything just comes across authentically and you don't have to, you don't have to think too much about how things sound you are just being you. Right. But the moment, the moment one of these elements is been, you know is not there removed right, now it's just written text. 

Anne McKeown: [00:40:34] Yep. 

Vit Muller: [00:40:35] Things just get misconstrued so much, especially with and I find it like you know, sometimes because I'm very, you know, like sometimes direct I just, you know, this is the way I know it works. Can you guys do it? Or, you know, and then. And I've been pointed out to me that, Oh, that comes across rude or like, you know, been pointed out to me that I go to, I go to put a bit of fluff around it and things like that.

[00:40:59] So it's just, I just prefer it. Yeah. Just jump on a call or 

Anne McKeown: [00:41:03] Well, and that's it the call is so important because sometimes women will come on a call and I'll say to them, look, if I can't help you, I'll put you in touch with someone that can, it's a two way thing. It's not just whether they're a good client for me, but am I the right coach for them?

[00:41:18] And you can't pick that up through an ad. 

Vit Muller: [00:41:22] Yeah, but at the end of the day, we still have to do that too. Right. But you have to balance it out. Cause it's just a, it's just a reality. It's just a reality. The way the world we live in. It's very instant. People don't have time. So you do have to, you do have to get through the SMS.

[00:41:36] You do have to get through an ad initially. Before they jump on the call, with you, so I guess so, okay, so, and so how did you overcome this? Have you ever tried to hire somebody to help you with your copy? Or what did you do?

Anne McKeown: [00:41:48] Yeah, look, I initially did courses to learn a lot of it myself, because it was like, I didn't know what to tell someone to do cause I didn't know what I was doing.

[00:41:59] So I spent about two years learning copywriting, Facebook Ads, Videoing, Facebooking. I mean, I have my own coach. I think everybody needs a coach to help us with our own blind spots. And my coach challenged me to do a Facebook live every day, last year. And I was like, Oh man, I don't want to do that anyway, but I did do it.

[00:42:22] And I know it was, and it was very fruitful. I have to say. And after I had done about 10 days, it got to the stage where I just picked up the phone and I just did it and I just recorded it and it went live and there was no big deal. So again, it's that whole just do it thing. But I got to the stage where I, I couldn't see people one-on-one anymore because I'd run out of time.

Leveraging your time by the power of delegation and getting others do the tasks you don't have to. [00:42:41] There's only so many hours in the day, so I wanted to leverage my time. So I got a team of virtual assistants and got them to do a lot of the marketing and, and I do group coaching, now to so that I can help more women at a time. 

Vit Muller: [00:42:57] Absolutely. And 

Anne McKeown: [00:42:58] it should be that way, 

Vit Muller: [00:42:59] you know, as you progress as your business is growing, people still want to see you.

[00:43:02] You are the face of your business. So offsetting all the other tasks that you don't really need to is yeah, I think a natural progression , great progression. That's awesome. Now you get to do what you really, really love and what you really enjoy doing. And you've got a, you've got a team behind you who looks after all the yeah.

[00:43:19] Well, the other things, and this is a lesson for anybody listening, you know, when you're, when you do get to that stage that's great. That's when you really need to have a team, but you should also start planning for it from, from the beginning, you know one of the really good things that I've, I've always been a big believer in is even if you're starting your own business and you're doing everything yourself, make sure that you document.

[00:43:40] All the processes, make sure that you start writing everything and plan for it. Think about it as in a year time or two time or whatever time will come time, where you have to hire somebody and you don't want to start from scratch, starting, you know, educating them on everything. But you know, the way of how you do things if you start doing it from the beginning, you're already have it there and you just pass it on and it just becomes a smooth transition.

Anne McKeown: [00:44:05] Yep. Yep. Yeah, it was great. One of the things I do is I did at the beginning was I would just record just on a quick time player. I would just say. This is how I do this. This is how, like that done this is how I like that done, saved it to the cloud. And then anyone that comes to work with me just goes and watches that video and copies and knows exactly.

[00:44:25] How to follow the system. It saves a lot of time. I don't have to keep retraining and retraining. 

What Anne didn't though she'd do when she started her coaching business and she now loves doing. [00:44:30] Vit Muller: [00:44:30] That's great. Yes, absolutely. I love it. Is there something that you wish you'd known when you started your business initially 

Anne McKeown: [00:44:38] it's interesting.

[00:44:39] You see that because. Some of the things. If I'd known nothing, come may not have started. If I'd known how tough that journey was going to be in the early days, it might have put me off. And I think ignorance is bliss. When you start a business because your enthusiasm gets you through 

Vit Muller: [00:44:59] Yeah

Anne McKeown: [00:45:01] And yeah. I don't know. I can't really think of something, actually that's, that's interesting. I mean, there's lots that I didn't think I would do that I have done that have been positives. Like I've written a book, which I never thought I would do and Facebook lives I never thought I would do. And even podcasts like this. And so there's been lots of things that have come out of it that I never thought.

Vit Muller: [00:45:25] That you'd have to do or, 

Anne McKeown: [00:45:28] or have just developed that. I actually have really loved there's lots that have come out of it that I thoroughly, thoroughly enjoy that I hadn't, you know, even writting blogs I actually really enjoy writing blogs because it's about a topic that I like, and I know and have read a lot about it. So yeah. 

Vit Muller: [00:45:45] And it's also just another expression of how you can provide value, right? And it's something that will be there set in stone for years to go for years to come.  

Anne's success and positive impact on her lifestyle and life of others she helps [00:45:54] Now, as a result of you developing, growing this business over the five years, learning all these other, you know, skill sets that you need to, to learn, to be able to, you know, continue progressing you've achieved some level of success.

[00:46:08] What has that success allow you to? What is your lifestyle look like now? What does that allow you to do now? 

Anne McKeown: [00:46:14] I am very blessed. What it does is it gives you freedom and choice and I'm happier. So it's had that ripple effect around my family. If we, my daughters are now older or they're at university, if I decide to say, to say, you know what, I want to go and have a day of spa with you two. Let's do it. 

Vit Muller: [00:46:40] Yeah Freedom

Anne McKeown: [00:46:42] I don't have to check with anyone else's is ok to spend the money is okay to take the time off. Is it? And, and not that my husband would ever see no anyway he'd be like, if you're going to want to go and do that, go and do it. But it's, it's just it's empowering and I feel. I can be generous.

[00:47:00] So one of the things that I, when I started that meetup group initially I did it for free, and then I thought there's an opportunity here. And the, and the women that were coming had no skin in the game it was sort of like, we'll come and we'll listen to Anne and she'll help us. And then the next month we'll go back and we'll listen to Anne and she'll help us and the next month we'll go back.

[00:47:20] And I thought I'm actually disempowering them by not having them achieve anything in return. 

Vit Muller: [00:47:26] Yeah. 

Anne McKeown: [00:47:26] So I started to charge $20 each. 

Vit Muller: [00:47:29] Yeah. Great. I'm a big believer in and not giving things for free. 

Anne McKeown: [00:47:34] Yeah. 

Vit Muller: [00:47:34] Not, not too, not just like, it's not to make money, but what you said, you got to, people have to put some skin in the game to make them more accountable to make them, you know yeah be more serious about things. 

Anne McKeown: [00:47:46] Yeah. They say if they pay they'll pay attention. S o all that $20 from each lady went to the local women's shelter. So I had this thing of like I thought. You know, I was a bit miserable in midlife as a female. But nothing like these women have to run away from domestic violence or whatever.

[00:48:07] And so now what drives me because there are times when you sort of think, well, and I'll have people say to me, well, but I don't need to anymore. Or they have a bit of a negative mindset around the money. I don't want to appear greedy and I don't, you know, I've got enough. And but, and then I see, okay, we'll give it away because the more you've got, the more you can share.

Vit Muller: [00:48:30] It's a great thing

Anne McKeown: [00:48:32] Yeah. I now make a commitment that a percentage of everything I earn goes to this women's shelter and that drives me because I think if I, you know, if I can help them build another house for these women, or if I can help one lady find freedom and build herself back up again. So, so it really allows me to do that.

[00:48:54]And it sounds very altruistic, but it's actually not, it's quite selfish because I feel great. It makes me feel like. Go me. I can, I can write another check. You know, I, 

Vit Muller: [00:49:05] I think that's a, that's a feeling well deserved. I wouldn't, I wouldn't feel selfish about it at all. It's a feeling you've well deserved. It's good to feel good. Especially when we help others right?.

[00:49:18] It's 

Anne McKeown: [00:49:19] to me, that is what life's all about. There's a, there's a quote by Deepak Chopra, which is one of my favorites and it's something like I'm going to get it wrong here, but something like when you have your natural born gifts and you use them for the benefit of others, that's true success.

Vit Muller: [00:49:39] I love it. 

Anne McKeown: [00:49:40] I'll send it to you. I'll I'll, I'll get the exact quote and I'll send it to you. It's beautiful. And that's, that's my mantra. 

Vit Muller: [00:49:48] That's great. And I'll make sure it'll, I'm going to put it in the show notes when I'm going through all the, all the production stuff. Anne it's been amazing having you on the show.

Anne McKeown: [00:49:56] Thank you. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Yay. Thank you. 

Vit Muller: [00:50:01] We've covered so much. We've talked about NLP. We've talk about positive mindset. We've talked about geez. So many things. So I'm already looking forward to go through it again and listen to it? And I'm going to be creating all the timestamps for those of you guys listening.

[00:50:16] As this podcast is on many, many platforms, obviously Spotify, Apple podcasts, and Google and whatnot. There's so many platforms. This podcast is on. But there is a website an official website that I highly recommend you go to, which is called 'Successinspiredpodcast.com because every single episode that goes out, it's not just the audio that you can, you get to listen to it's actual show notes.

[00:50:40] And I put a lot of effort into these show notes for you guys. There's timestamps. There's usually around 10 to 15 timestamps on specific bits of the conversation that you can go back to and to listen again, there's also a full transcript for those you guys who are hearing impaired. So you can, you can read, read it and also links and special offers. There's always some special offer from my guests and a bunch of other great stuff. 

[00:51:05] So if you guys love this podcast and you enjoy, if you enjoy this interview that I've had with Anne and you want to get more resources, you want to know more I'll make sure that I'm going to put all that in the show notes.

[00:51:16] And all you got to do is just visit the, the website 

Anne's special offer - free 30 mins initial consultation to help any woman on their journey of change 

[00:51:18] now back to you Anne I know you've got an awesome awesome business and, you know, we've talked about it for an hour now, and I also know that you're very generous with how you want to help people. Initially you're offering a consultation, correct?

Anne McKeown: [00:51:34] Yes. So offer a free call for 30 minutes. It usually ends up going on longer, but just to help women to come in to see where do you art, where do you want to be? And how can I help you if I can help you? And we work through a bit of a plan and, and they'll go away with some initial steps on how to start on that journey of change.

Vit Muller: [00:51:55] I love it. I love it. I'll make sure I'll put it in the show notes. And also an also we are doing an ebook, right? So there's going to be an ebook about 10 steps, 10 steps on success. Can you clarify? 

Anne McKeown: [00:52:11] Yeah. So look, there are two things there. The 10 steps to success is a, is a PDF. And it's because basically what happened was the lady in the meetup said to me, how did you suddenly then make a business?

[00:52:21] It wasn't sudden by the way, but how did you make a business out of what you're doing? And so I went back and I thought it through and I put down. The 10 steps that I took in the right order. So that's a PDF that we can send to everybody or anybody can get. And on my website, there is an ebook that they can download for free.

Vit Muller: [00:52:40] Excellent. Excellent. What's the website name? 

Anne McKeown: [00:52:42] So it's annemckeown.com. So it's E double N E M C K E O W N. 

Vit Muller: [00:52:50] Love it. Thank you Anne I look forward to share all that to the listeners, essentially. This is your blueprint on your own success. So people get to go through it and follow it. Have something to start with.

[00:53:04]And even thought they might not. Go exactly the same way as you've done it. At least it gives them, it gives them some sort of a manual they can follow. So that's been amazing talking to you, and I appreciate you that you've come onto this podcast to speak to me and to share your knowledge to the listeners of this podcast.

[00:53:21] Thank you so much. 

Anne McKeown: [00:53:22] Thank you Vit and thanks for the opportunity. I've thoroughly enjoyed it and I love the work that you're doing as well. So, so keep it up and this platform's awesome. So thank you. 

Vit Muller: [00:53:32] Thank you. That's great. Thanks. Bye-bye