Marilyn Suttle: : Who's Your Gladys? /Top 30 Global Gurus-CX

[00:00:04] Jason S. Bradshaw: Welcome to Chats with Jason. I'm of course your host, Jason S. Bradshaw, and this is the show that helps you transform the experience to transform your business and the world around you.

[00:00:17] Jason S. Bradshaw: What if the smallest actions could create the biggest impact?

[00:00:37] Jason S. Bradshaw: Whether you're building a brand, managing a team, or just navigating through conversations, Marilyn brings stories, strategies, and soul. This is an episode you'll wanna lean into, so let's dive in.

[00:00:49] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: Hey, thanks for having me, Jason.

[00:00:59] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: Ah, thank you and I am talking with the guru myself, with you, Jason.

[00:01:14] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: Sure.

[00:01:27] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: Oh, I have so many, but I'll try to catch one right now. And that is, you will have situations where customers are so angry that something has changed. The policies changed, the prices have changed. Prices have changed a lot for everybody and they're mad. And one of the best things, I remember coaching a group, and they said, "I don't know how to handle it. They're just so mad. I don't wanna answer the phone." And it's just to start with you are right- you're right. The price did come up. You are right. And it's frustrating. I feel that way too when prices go up and it's all of a sudden that you go from so mad to, oh, he's agreeing with me. And I like to say, it's like when you turn the shower on in the morning and cold prickly water comes out. But if you just let that flow a little bit, the warm water starts to flow. Same thing with your upset customers, if you just let them be frustrated and you give them some acknowledgement, then the warm feelings start to flow.

[00:02:53] Jason S. Bradshaw: What has your work taught you about emotional intelligence when it comes to customer service, customer experience?

[00:03:24] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: When you talk about emotional intelligence, a lot of that is do you have the communication tools? So that you've practiced, you've roleplay, you've thought, 'cause if something difficult happens, once you have to ask yourself, is this likely to happen again? And the answer's gonna be yes. So you wanna be prepared, and practiced, and really skilled.

[00:03:59] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: And oh, I'm interrupting. Sorry.

[00:04:01] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: It's not only you, but your team. And so this is what where leaders can sometimes fall down. They don't share their mistakes they've made. They don't share the good, bad, and the ugly with their team. But that is such a good learning opportunity. If you let your team in on the challenges you face, the mistakes you've made, and then how you overcame it, that's accelerated learning for them.

[00:04:36] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: It's growth. Growth can be painful. And if you are a really good leader, you're not afraid to say, hey I made a mistake, and hey this is what I learned. And hey, let me reach out to somebody who's done this before and see what they did. It really is that looking for coaching and being a good mentor. I like to say, be a mentor not a tormentor to your staff, 'cause they will learn from being a mentor, but they'll be afraid to tell you the mistakes they've made if you're a tormentor.

[00:05:07] Jason S. Bradshaw: Now of course, you're a multi-time bestselling author. One of those books is Who's Your Gladys? And in that book you explore how service pros handle difficult people. What advice would you give to someone dealing with a Gladys in their life right now, whether at work or even at home, perhaps?

[00:05:39] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: First of all, people are different. We've got the cranky ones, we've got the cold austere ones. We've got every personality you could think of, and we're all triggered by one particular one. For me, it's the cold person, the person who's just so cold, and what I do is I translate what is the highest good in that behavior? Or what is a way to reframe that behavior for me so that I can be better with them? And so for me, I reframe a cold person to somebody who's slow to warm up. And somebody who's slow to warm up, I can open my heart to that person, but the cold person, ooh, I don't like that. So really looking at how can you look for the highest good in their behavior? What is something you could take from that and translate it by reframing a bit, and that's hugely helpful.

[00:06:47] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: Okay. I like to use the word lap - LAP -'cause you know how sometimes you're stress stressed, you put your hands in your lap and you go, oh gosh! That lap stands for- Listen, Acknowledge and Paraphrase. And here's the thing, if you listen with curiosity instead of disdain, if you're curious, that is a really big leadership skill because if you're curious, you're going to be listening differently, and you may discover something that you made an assumption that isn't necessarily true. And giving them the benefit of the doubt through listening, and then acknowledge everything they say every time they talk. And it doesn't mean agreeing, it just means you are saying what's in their motivation is in their best interest, that you are putting into words that's what they're saying. And usually that de-escalates things and then paraphrasing back, not sounding like a robotic copycat. I'm not parroting you, but when I hear what you're saying, I am really frustrated. This stupid watch I spent all this money on didn't work and I wanna refund. It's oh my gosh, I am so sorry to hear that did not work out for you. And then in the process of asking really good questions, assessing the situation, you might find out they just didn't know how to operate the digital dials and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

[00:08:36] Jason S. Bradshaw: Yeah, and I think, picking up on what you said, part of the success of that approach is that the customer feels heard so that when you do deliver your solution to the problem, they're thinking that, and rightfully that you've actually taken the time to consider what they've said, as opposed to you're presenting with as an angry customer so I just wanna throw something at you to get rid of you quickly.

[00:09:02] Jason S. Bradshaw: Even though the solution may not change by listening to them it's giving that person the freedom to feel heard, which leads to them feeling cared for.

[00:09:16] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: Oh, sure. I sure have. I remember one. Okay, so I speak internationally, and I had a call from somebody who was so excited to bring me in and they were just talking about the audience and how this was gonna be so great. And they had seen my videos, they'd seen me talk before and they were gonna bring me, just on and then going into great detail about what that was going to look like and what they wanted, and we had this long discussion.

[00:10:22] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: So then I said let's see if we can come up with some solutions for you because I have a fee. However, if for free, there are Toastmasters group with people who just love to speak. Well, that was good. That was fine. And she ended up later on, moving on, and bringing me in for full fee somewhere else. So by staying connected, not getting hurt, insulted- 'cause we've got that very human part of us that just gets mad. Stay curious. How could I be of service and still hold my boundary? And that really works.

[00:11:20] Jason S. Bradshaw: Now I mentioned that you've written a number of books. Who's your Gladys? Taming Gladys. Color Their World. So being inspired by Color Their World, I'm wondering if you've seen a customer or a colleague color someone's world in a way that's totally shocked you? What happened and why did it shock you?

[00:12:53] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: Yeah. Working with the hospital and giving people the authority, giving them empowerment to do the right thing in the moment to make things well, and a child was just sobbing, so upset and so scared, and so the employee took the time to go to the gift shop, buy a little stuffed animal and give it to the child who was in pain and crying and just because it felt like the right thing to do. This is what we worked on as a $25 discretionary. Any time you think it's necessary. When you empower someone and the turnaround and the happy parents from that, and the word of mouth from that is huge. It's a small, nice thing that makes a big difference.

[00:14:04] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: Oh, I have to share. I got it. I gotta share 'cause it was a Ritz Carlton example. It happened to me. So I was speaking at an event, staying at The Ritz. I get a phone call that my grandma died. And so you can imagine I was pretty upset. And I'm trying not to do the ugly cry on my way back to the room, right?

[00:15:05] Jason S. Bradshaw: Yeah and just reinforces that whatever that team member was doing wasn't more important than the moment of being there for the customer because I'm sure every time you hear the brand Ritz Carlton, you think fondly of it. Every time you stay at a Ritz Carlton, I'm sure like the anticipation that it's going to, just be a good experience and, I say just good. Like it's never just anything. It's always a elevated experience.

[00:15:35] Jason S. Bradshaw: In real terms, what did it cost the Ritz Carlton for that team member to be there in the moment for you? But nothing like, it's not even a rounding. If you want a balance sheet, it wouldn't have hit the balance sheet at that minimum. Such a powerful example.

[00:16:01] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: So there's basically four major styles, and one of them is that person who just needs to cross every T dot, every I, and they're gonna go in detail everything. And then they're going to ask you questions to make sure they get it right. And you might start thinking in your mind, don't they trust me? It's like it has nothing to do with trust. There's somebody who just needs a lot of reassurance that they get all their ducks in a row, that all their questions answered, and if they give you an email, it's gonna be long and detailed. Then you've got the other kind that's, they're big picture people, right? They're just... I don't wanna hear how it works. I just want it to work and I want it now. And you might think, oh, they're abrupt. No, they're just busy people who know what they want. So if you, again, that reframing of what they are and, each style, and then some people they care about you, they're their customer, and they're worried about you. Have you ever noticed that? I remember seeing at a Panera, one of the workers had kinda gotten chewed out and the person in front of me, went up and said, "are you okay honey?" These customers that want a connection so badly because it's just their nature. So if you understand the four styles is much easier to adapt to what they need and you understand your style. This is a really fascinating piece because if you are that "fast-paced, goal-focused wanna get things done" type of person, you wanna move fast. I was coaching somebody who was like this and she said, oh yeah, I got in trouble by asking my customer to get to the point. And so, one way around that is to use your skill, okay? You are somebody who wants a goal. So the goal is to connect with that customer so that they stay a loyal customer. That means you slow down and talk to them and get to know them. And so you're comforting yourself because this is how you get to the goal. Now that you change your style 'cause that's stressful, but you use your style to get your goal for that person. And we could, we do that with all four styles.

[00:18:24] Jason S. Bradshaw: Your work spans the globe. You're a sought after international keynote speaker, a consultant. You've written books. You've worked with so many teams. What's one unexpected thing great leaders do to build loyalty from inside the business?

[00:20:00] Jason S. Bradshaw: Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's easy for people to forget that they might sit in finance or procurement or some other back of house function. But what they do eventually impacts the person that's standing in front of the customer, whether it be the speed at which they can deliver the service the mindset that they have, the mood that they're in when they're delivering the service. So many different ways and it's important as leaders that we connect those dots.

[00:20:36] Jason S. Bradshaw: If you have a contact center in your business and you're the chief executive officer, go and sit in the contact center for an hour, you'll all of a sudden understand why not everything goes smoothly. And be on the sales floor, be where your customers are, but from that view or that lens of how your employees typically experience it. Some great insights for us there.

[00:21:12] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: One of them is to know when to shift from tell to ask. Because sometimes you have to make an unpopular decision that it's just a tell. You can't do anything about it. But not if you use the same tool on everything, it doesn't work. You've gotta use a different tool for different situations. So if you want to empower your team to take responsibility and accountability, instead of telling them, you messed up here... Ask. How do you think that went? What do you think you'd do differently next time? That simple tell to ask, depending on the situation, can make a huge difference in the accountability everybody takes for the work you're doing.

[00:22:08] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: Yes.

[00:22:18] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: That's another great question. So, consistency is key. If you want things to go well. I'm sure everybody listening has gone to a restaurant once and it was so good, and the second time it wasn't, and you don't go back again. That's it.

[00:23:17] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: So consistency in how you follow the guidelines yourself. And having guidelines! Do you have vision, mission, values, and then living them and then making them part of everything you do? And reinforcing. That's one of the biggest things is that reinforcement.

[00:23:39] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: Ah, yes.

[00:23:51] Jason S. Bradshaw: Yeah. Great. So what's a go-to question that you ask yourself when you're in a high stake situation and need to stay grounded, present, and effective?

[00:24:22] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: " Is this a threat or is this an opportunity", is huge for getting me grounded in the moment because even you could say that about problems... is this a problem or an opportunity? And really letting your staff look at things as, oh... we're facing an opportunity here.

[00:24:56] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: Totally different energy.

[00:24:59] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: Yeah.

[00:25:08] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: They can find me on LinkedIn, Marilyn Suttle, or they could go to my website at marilynsuttle.com.

[00:25:30] Jason S. Bradshaw: But before I let you go, Marilyn, I've got one, maybe two last questions. Let's see.

[00:25:44] Marilyn Suttle, CVP: Ah, I would tell the 10-year-old to think about their teacher and think about them as being this customer of their teacher. How would that teacher make you feel cared about? And they'd immediately say things like, they'd smile at me. They'd call me when I put my hand up, you know that, that type of thing.

[00:26:16] Jason S. Bradshaw: What a great example of how to explain it.

[00:26:33] Jason S. Bradshaw: If you enjoyed this conversation, be sure to follow, subscribe, or share this episode with someone that could just simply use a little inspiration today. And if you're feeling extra generous, leave us a review. It helps more people discover conversations just like this one that we've had today. Remember, when you transform the experience, you transform your business and the world around you.