Shownotes
Introduction
- Topic Introduction [00:53]
Main Topics
- When “I Love You” Has Nowhere to Land [01:40]
- Love Does Not End, It Transforms [02:57]
- New Ways of Saying “I Love You” [04:16]
- The Sacred Space of Memory and Presence [06:11]
- Learning to Receive Love Again [07:12]
- Trusting the Continuation of Love [08:26]
- Closing [09:19]
Additional Resources
Transcripts
00:00
until his passing in January:00:38
My mission is to walk beside you as you navigate grief, honor your healing, and rediscover meaning and purpose in the life that continues. You are not alone. This is the Healing Our Grieving Hearts Podcast.
00:53
Welcome my friends. I am so grateful that you are here with me today. Whether you are walking through the early days of loss or finding your way through a new season of life, I want you to know that you are not alone. There is space here for your heart, exactly as it is.
01:11
Today’s episode is called Saying “I Love You” in a New Way. This is a topic that is both tender and expansive, because love does not end when someone we cherish is no longer physically present. It changes form. It deepens. It asks us to meet it in a new way.
01:30
If you have ever found yourself wondering how to express love when your person is no longer here to hear the words, then this episode is for you.
01:40
There is something so natural and instinctive about saying “I love you.” It is often one of the last things we say before parting ways for the day. It becomes part of the rhythm of a relationship, woven into conversations, moments, and shared experiences. And then one day, everything changes.
02:02
You may find yourself still thinking the words. You may even say them out loud before catching yourself. There can be a moment of pause where your heart realizes there is no longer a physical person there to receive those words in the way you were used to. That moment can feel empty. It can feel disorienting. It can feel like love itself has nowhere to go.
02:27
But here is what I gently want to offer you. Love does not need a physical presence to exist. Love is not confined to the body, the voice, or the shared space. Love is an energy, a connection, a living presence that continues beyond what we can see.
02:47
The question becomes not whether you can still say “I love you,” but how you can begin to experience and express it in a new way.
02:57
When we lose someone we love, it can feel as though the relationship has ended. In truth, the form of the relationship has changed, but the relationship itself continues in a different dimension of experience.
03:10
You still carry their presence within you. You still remember their voice, their laughter, their habits, and the way they made you feel. Those memories are not just recollections. They are living expressions of love.
03:26
Saying “I love you” may no longer happen across a dinner table or during a quiet evening together. Instead, it begins to show up in more subtle, sacred ways.
03:39
You may find yourself speaking to them in your thoughts. You may feel their presence during certain moments of the day. You may sense a connection when you are in a place that you shared together.
03:50
These are not imagined in the way we often dismiss them. They are part of how love continues to communicate when physical presence is no longer the primary way we connect.
04:03
Allowing yourself to recognize this transformation is an important step in healing. It invites you to stay connected to love rather than feeling separated from it.
04:16
As your relationship with your loved one shifts, you may begin to discover new ways of expressing love that feel meaningful and real.
04:24
One way is through conversation. You can still talk to them. You can share your day, your thoughts, your feelings, and your memories. You may do this silently, in a journal, or even out loud. There is no right or wrong way to do this. What matters is the sincerity of your heart.
04:44
My husband, Dave, made his transition three years ago, and I still speak to him every day, sharing how much I love and miss him. I also write to him in my journal, which has become a meaningful way for me to stay connected. During the first year, I wrote to him daily, but now I tend to write on special occasions like his birthday, our anniversary, and holidays, when his presence feels especially close.
05:13
Another way is through presence. When you pause and remember them, when you hold them in your awareness, you are expressing love. Even a simple moment of stillness can become a quiet “I love you.”
05:27
You may also find ways to express love through action. This might look like continuing a tradition that was meaningful to both of you. It might look like doing something kind for someone else in their honor. It might look like living in a way that reflects the values you shared together.
05:48
Sometimes, love is expressed through creativity. Writing, music, art, or even creating a special space in your home can become a way of saying what words cannot fully capture.
06:00
Each of these expressions becomes a new language of love. It may feel unfamiliar at first, but over time, it can become deeply comforting.
06:11
There is a sacred space that exists between memory and presence. It is the place where you feel both the absence and the connection at the same time.
06:21
You may experience this when you hear a song that reminds you of them. You may feel it when you visit a place you once shared. You may notice it in quiet moments when something within you feels both tender and full.
06:36
In this space, saying “I love you” becomes less about words and more about being with what is. It becomes a gentle acknowledgment of the bond that still exists.
06:48
Rather than pushing away the feelings that arise, you can allow yourself to sit with them. You can place your hand on your heart and simply breathe. In that moment, your presence becomes your expression of love.
07:03
This is not about holding on in a way that prevents you from moving forward. It is about allowing love to be part of your forward movement.
07:12
One of the deeper layers of this experience is learning not only how to give love in a new way, but also how to receive it. When someone we love is no longer physically here, it can feel as though the flow of love has been interrupted. You may find yourself longing for the way they expressed love to you.
07:33
Over time, you may begin to notice that love still shows up in your life. It may come through a friend who reaches out. It may come through a kind word from a stranger. It may come through moments of peace, beauty, or quiet connection.
07:49
Love may also come through your own heart. When you extend compassion to yourself, when you allow yourself to rest, when you honor your emotions, you are receiving love. This can be one of the most profound shifts. Recognizing that love is still present, even though it is no longer coming from the same source in the same way.
08:14
As you begin to receive love again, your ability to express it also expands. Saying “I love you” becomes something that flows through you, rather than something that feels lost.
08:26
There is a quiet trust that begins to grow when you allow yourself to experience love in this new way. You begin to trust that the connection you shared has not been broken. You begin to trust that love continues beyond what you can see or touch. You begin to trust that your heart is still capable of giving and receiving love fully.
08:49
This trust does not remove the pain of missing someone. It does not take away the moments of longing. What it does is hold those feelings within a larger sense of connection.
09:02
You can miss someone deeply and still feel connected to them. You can grieve their absence and still experience their love. Both can exist at the same time. This is part of the complexity and the beauty of the human heart.
09:19
If you have been struggling with how to say “I love you” now that your loved one is no longer physically here, I want you to know that your love has not been lost. It is still within you. It is still moving through you. It is still connecting you in ways that may be quieter, but are no less real.
09:40
You are learning a new language of love. One that is not based on proximity, but on presence. One that is not limited by time or space, but is carried within your heart.
09:53
As you continue on this path, be gentle with yourself. Allow the process to unfold in its own way. Trust that your love knows how to express itself, even when the form has changed.
10:08
The mission of Healing Our Grieving Hearts is to support women who are navigating life after the loss of a spouse or soulmate, and those who are tenderly companioning their husbands through illness. Through spiritual care, sound and vibration therapies, and reflective practices, I help women find meaning, healing, and renewed purpose.
10:30
For free resources, including tips for coping with grief and rediscovering joy, visit purpose.healingourgrievinghearts.com. You can also connect with me on Facebook at facebook.com/Kay.Fontana.
10:46
Thank you for listening to this episode of the Healing Our Grieving Hearts Podcast. Remember, you are not alone in your grief, and your experiences and emotions are valid. Join me next Saturday at 10 a.m. Arizona time as we continue exploring the human experience and “The Loneliness of Being Needed All the Time.”
11:09
Until next time, may you feel the presence of love all around you, may you trust the connection that continues within your heart, and may you discover new and meaningful ways to say “I love you,” again and again.
