Dawn Damon 0:07

Hey, beautiful women. This is Dawn Damon the brave heart mentor and you're listening to the brave hearted woman. This is a podcast designed to help you find your brave so you can live out your beautiful vision. I have been working with women for years. And now I want to help you too. I'm here to awaken the brave heart inside of you. So you can ignite the flame of your vision, you can reach your goals and achieve your dreams. Come on this good brain.

Looking forward to being with you again. Hey, everybody, wonderful to see you and to talk with you. I do see you, I see you in my heart, all you beautiful, brave hearted women. And I hope today you're having an amazing day. And guess what you get to make it an amazing day. That's right, you're not left to chance or circumstance you get to create the life that you want, you get to create the day that you want. So I hope that you're making great choices, powerful choices for your life, and that you are enjoying an amazing day. Hey, take a minute, hit subscribe, download this episode, it helps me so much. It helps me reach more and more women. Because Listen, the algorithms change as you download and then write a review. It helps me get more exposure and therefore fulfill my purpose in life, to change as many and help as many women as possible. So last I left you. We were talking about perseverance. And I want to persevere. So we got to finish this we got to go into part two of perseverance can change your life. And actually it will change your life if you employ the emotion and the practice and the character of perseverance. Also, like the word resilience, perseverance means that we don't quit in the face of obstacle we keep going. And then resilience means that when we do hit those obstacles that we recover quickly, we bounce back fast. Resilience doesn't let us give up right? It's kind of the commander in chief, it's the boss within us that says, I'm going to confront this vulnerability vulnerability head on and I'm gonna, you know, bellow at you drop down and give me 20 more, get back up and do it again, that's persistence. And that's resilience. We're pushed to recover, and to press on, so that we can win the prize and what's the prize, our goals, our dreams, life as we see it, and envision it and dream for it. So resilience does carve away at that weakness in our soul, it makes us stop being a quitter. It teaches us how to redirect our focus on the reward, like I said, and not the problem. Do you notice that so often in life, we tend to focus on the problem instead of the reward. And when you focus on the problem, you do get weak in your soul, you start to feel a sense of exhaustion, and you do want to quit, but when you focus on the prize, on the big why, if it's compelling enough, if you know why you want it, and why you're doing it, you will find the strength to continue to modify, adjust, reframe, and keep on pressing on, you will find that resilience builds within you

the potential for making you better, stronger, more mature, more compassionate. So the question is, Can you respond to adversity? Can you respond correctly to that opposition? Do you not how to employ resilience? I want to give you five steps. This is where we left off last time I want to give you five steps and how to respond to adversity or how to push through that opposition or that resistance that you may feel along your journey. As you're believing for a better future. A change in your life. You're you've got a goal in mind and you've got a strategy to get there and you're going along in life and then you hit a road bump. And sometimes those road bumps really they feel like they can just throw you right into a ditch. So how do you keep going, right? How do you press on?

Let me give you five steps on how to do that. First one is I want to make sure that you listen to your inner dialogue. What's the story that's going on in your head when you come up against this opposition when you hit this roadblock? What are you saying to yourself right now? What are you hearing? Are your thoughts, thoughts of defeat? Are they self abasing? Are they I'm not good enough? I'm not worthy enough. I'm such a failure. I can't do anything, right? Why would anything work out good for me anyway, all of those thoughts of defeat, they are absolutely Well, they will keep you defeated. If you, if you continue to focus on them and ponder them and meditate on them. They're all designed to get you to throw in the white towel to quit to put your hands up and say I surrender, I can't do it. And sometimes those thoughts come within you. And sometimes they come at you, the from the enemy, they're from people who are jealous of you and your potential there. Like I said, They're from the enemy of your soul. They're from the dark side, that force that says, you know, don't reach your potential, don't accomplish your dream, don't be successful. those thoughts come from fear, thoughts of fear, sometimes our own brain trying to keep us safe from embarrassing ourselves or trying to, you know, keep us from shaming ourselves. And sometimes those thoughts are germinated from seeds that came from childhood. That did they were shaming messages, they were saying, you'll never be anything when you grow up? or Why can't you be more like him? Why can't you be more like her. And so you need to pay attention to your inner dialogue, and then change that dialogue Quickly, quickly. If you recognize that there are thoughts of defeat, and get that inner thought life to align with your vision. I'm not asking you to ignore facts. I'm just saying, How are you interpreting those facts? How are you? Is it I'm a failure? Or is it I just learned a couple of ways that don't work. So that's really great. And that's empowering for me, because now I know, I don't have to keep doing that. Because remember, your thoughts become feelings, and your feelings lead to your action. And so it's important to keep your thoughts and your meditation on things that are true, and powerful, framed in the positive because that is going to fuel your, your motion, your emotion and your emotion, your activity. If I feel like a failure, if I feel like I've blown it, or I'm an imposter, or I don't know what I'm doing, or I'm overwhelmed, or it's not working, I quit trying. I acknowledge defeat, I stopped getting creative ideas and problem solving solutions. I short circuit my creative venue in my brain, and I shut it down. And all there is is failure, quit defeat, ending, falling apart. I've done that, Hey, friends, I've done that in my life. I've gotten on the bandwagon of having such a negative outlook on something that the only option that I saw was for it to be done for it to end. And like I said in the last podcast, sometimes endings are necessary. But endings should be necessary because they're appropriate, because it's time because I have courage to do the next thing. They don't end because I'm afraid because I don't have a plan because someone said it should end. So I'm hope. I hope that makes sense. And that you see the distinction there. So that's number one, what is the inner dialogue going on? Make sure that you replace those negative things, turn it, reframe it, reposition it, get a fresh perspective, and meditate on the upside, the good side, the positive side, and just say, you know, here's a way to look at this and consider this that actually fuels me and empowers me, and instills hope and vision in me and gives me courage and encourages me and he n courage instead of dis courage is me. Alright, here's the second thing that we do want to look at the facts. So number two, analyze the situation. If I've come up against some resistance and an obstacle. Let me let me take a moment to analyze this Did I do something that created this situation? And if I did do something that created it, then I can undo it, can I correct it? And if it's Yes, then act immediately you can modify your behavior. I think someone once said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. So don't keep beating your head against the wall and don't persist in bad behavior or bad habits and expect A better result or a different result, a positive result? Stop what you're doing a moment and analyze the situation. Am I employing best practices? Is this habit is this activity is this road and pathway that we're on, leading to success and we just have a few potholes? Or is this a dead end road? Do we need to change our map and get a new strategy, same goal, different way to get there. So it's okay to analyze that situation, be brave. Think about it, look at it. So that might look like I just recently, we merged our church. So I'm the lead pastor of a church. And we just recently merged our church with another church that's more centrally located in the city that is doing a great work, the same work that we want to do for diversity and inclusion and equity. But we were in a location that wasn't really wonderful to fulfill that vision not impossible, but really required a lot of other things to support it and sustain it and uphold it. And so we just had to stop and analyze the situation for a moment. And we came to the conclusion that it was the right vision, the right mission, but a wrong location. So we adjusted and we pivoted our strategy to say, we're going to move our church into a place that is better located and relinquish the leadership into the hands of someone who is also doing this diversity work, who is fired up ready to do it, and has clear vision, versus someone who we're all tired we are, have been doing this for many years, we are a little bit blurry in our ability to see clearly. And so it was okay to say you know what, we're going to continue on in this mission, but it's going to look different, we're going to pivot, we're going to make changes. And ultimately, we're going to reach

the global goal of why we started this church in the beginning. And then for me, personally, to be able to say, I'm launching into some things that I'm more passionate about, that I am very juiced up to do, it involves you all, I'm being brave, I'm changing some ways and some things that I'm doing, I'm stepping into something that is more authentic to me, and what I want to do, at this time, in this season in my life, though, I've always loved my leadership role, and the things that I've done, I'm ready to do something else now. And that takes a lot of courageous activity. And, and, you know, steps on my part. So what I'm saying is, when I stopped and analyzed the situation, I recognize that I want to persevere, but I just want to look different. Number three, recognize that you're not powerless. Oh, no, you are not. You are not powerless. Now, you may not have chosen the trial. We didn't choose COVID. Did we? We didn't choose a global shutdown. No, we didn't. We didn't choose the trial. But here's what we get to choose. We get to choose how we're going to go through it. We get to choose the attitude that we're going to have. We get to embrace the thoughts that we're going to have, we get to choose our mindset. So I want to make sure I encourage you to empower yourself quickly. You are not a victim. You do have choices. You are not powerless. I think that it was Will Smith who said this, when I when I analyze my life and look at my life, he said I recognize this was not my fault. But it was now my responsibility. There's a difference. What happened to me was not my fault. But since it happened, it is now my responsibility to choose a better life. It's my responsibility to choose healing, to choose recovery. To choose a mindset adjustment. It's my responsibility to choose forgiveness, to embrace love to release bitterness. It's my responsibility. No, it's not my fault. But now it is my responsibility. I cannot blame someone else. Hey, by the way, you know how to spell blame, right? be lame. That's what happens when we blame somebody for our pain and our hurt. Yep, we just become lame. We become paralyzed, we become stuck. It's not our fault, but it is our responsibility. I have to do something else something different. And I can't blame someone or something. I have to take responsibility because otherwise I am left without hope. And being in a position where there is like, you feel like there, there's no hope or you're stuck or there's no outlet or you feel trapped, that is so

disempowering, that makes you feel so, so much like a victim, like a defeated, lost, failed, small individual. So recognize that you are not powerless, and choose a really powerful mindset for yourself. And here's another thing I want to just remind you, you do get to create the mindset that you want. You don't have to live your life with a fixed mindset, a fixed mindset that says, it's always going to be like this, nothing will ever change, I'll never get anywhere in life, I'm always on the bottom, people are out to get me the world is out to get me, I'll always be poor, I'll always be broke, I'll always be single, you know, that always or never, that is a fixed mindset, versus a growth mindset that says, The world is my oyster, I can do what I want, I can, I can explore the world, I can fail without shame, I can try things. And some of them will work and some of them won't. But at the end of the day, I grew, I stretched, I evolve, I became more wise, I had fun, I got to experience some other emotions. You know, I don't, I haven't really enjoyed this transition that I've been in, like fully. But I love the fact that I've been able to experience life in a different way, there's been excitement Did you know by the way, that anxiety and excitement fires up the same part of your brain. And the only difference between anxiety and excitement is the definition you give it. So instead of saying, I feel really anxious about this, or I'm really nervous about this, I've learned to say I'm really excited. And I'm telling my brain, all that you're feeling right there, I'm really excited about it. And I'm on an adventure. And I know it's gonna turn out for my good. And I'm thrilled to see life through a different lens and out of a different filter and out of the box. So I want you to recognize that you are not powerless. And the fourth thing that you need to do and that I'm going to do is focus on the win. w i n set your mind on the reward and focus on the win. That's what helps you be resilient. And that's what helps you remain in persistence and, and using grit for your good. So remind yourself often of the outcomes that you expect. Now, I want to say this right now, I'm not suggesting that any one of us endure abuse, or danger, or toxicity. And that's why sometimes endings are necessary. That's why you don't sometimes employ persistence. When you're in a bad situation that's really harmful for you, you flee, you get out fast. You can no negotiate things later. But you need to flee danger or abuse, you don't endure that, because staying for more of it isn't going to change anything. Instead you take brave and courageous action. And you take a step to get yourself safe. And then you can negotiate how we're going to go forward. Whether that's counseling, whether that's mediation, whether that's separation, whatever. But stir it up, do not just accept, do not accept status quo or average or, you know, staying stuck and being in a position where you say, Well, I just keep hoping that it's going to change and nothing changes, you need to flee. And you need to know that you get safe. But in the meantime, if you're not in danger, you just need to persist because you've got some things that are uncomfortable. Well get comfortable being uncomfortable. Press through that opposition, keep your reward in your mind. How will you feel when you reach that goal? How will it change your life? How will it impact your family, or your finances? What's the outcome that you want? Can you visualize and see yourself receiving that dream and it's coming to pass? How will it affect you? How will you live differently? Or what will it cost you? If you don't reach it? How would you feel if it never came to pass? How would you feel if you allowed some opposition or some uncomfortability to cause you to stop and relinquish your dream? How sad would you be if you found out today

that this is as good as it's gonna get in your life. And number five, be grateful. Above all, be grateful. Remember to be joyful in your trial, or in this resistance on this pathway in this journey. Sheer grit may get you through it. But gratitude gives you the joy, why you're going through it. be joyful in all things. Be thankful you woke up this morning, right? You have air in your lungs, you have ears to hear this. You have the wind in your face, you have beauty around you. I remember one time when I was a mom of small kids, and I was able to look at those dirty clothes and those dirty dishes in those messy rooms in a way that said, Thank You, Lord, I have kids. Thank you for this dirty underwear. It means that I have a child. That means that I have a family it means that I'm fulfilled with the joy of raising beautiful children. So grit strengthens our it's strengthens our mind. And it keeps us from becoming weary in well doing. But joy gives us the heart and the drive to continue to reach our full fulfillment, our full potential and don't you want to offer your full potential to the world? I do. And I left you last time with this quote and I'm gonna say it again from Kalpana Chawla, an American astronaut who says the path from dreams to success does exist. Oh, yes, it does. So may you have the vision to find it, and the courage to get on it, and the perseverance to follow it. I hope this helps you and if this has been helpful for you, make sure you share it with someone else. But listen, my friend, I believe in you. I think you've got grit, you've got strength to persevere. You have the wisdom to know the difference of what to continue to press on and what to relinquish and you have the resiliency to bounce back to have a comeback spirit that says I won't be defeated. I won't end up a failure or a loser. I will not be defined by those terms. I will fulfill my destiny. I believe in you do it today. This is Don Scott Damon your Braveheart mentor saying find your brave and live your vision.

Thanks for hanging out with me today and becoming brave. If this has helped you be sure to share it with someone and subscribe so you never have to miss another episode. For more about me my books, my coaching or online courses, visit Dawn damon.com. And as always be brave and live your vision