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Become An Unborrowed Visionary - The Demartini Show
Episode 665th February 2021 • The Demartini Show • Dr John Demartini
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Are you ready to blaze a new trail that's been unblazed before? Most individuals feel more comfortable following the herd than being the shepherd, and most individuals do not give themselves permission to clearly awaken and fully realize their grand inner vision. But you have a visionary leader sitting patiently inside you. True leaders are individuals with clear and insightful visions, who see the potential opportunities where others withdraw because of challenging uncertainties. This week, learn what makes unborrowed visionaries stand out, what make them unstoppable, and the steps you can take to become an unborrowed visionary in 2021.

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Transcripts

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The thing that distinguishes us from the animals is our path of meaning,

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our hedonistic pursuits of pleasure and debauchery is not the path of meaning,

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the path of meaning is doing something in fair exchange and transactions that

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remunerate you for doing something that contributes to other people that gives

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you the freedom to do something that you love doing in life.

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In the 1980s,

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I noticed when I was consulting health professional offices,

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that I would listen to the language of the people working in the

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offices and I'd listen carefully and I made a list of the terminologies that

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people use when they were engaged or disengaged in their

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work. And I noticed that when people were disengaged,

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uninspired,

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less engaged and fulfilled in their roles

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and the duties that they had, that they would say, 'I've got to do this.

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I have to do this.

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I must do this.' As if there was some sort of outside force enforcing

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them to do it. And then that would be the lowest level, that they felt like,

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it's almost like a resistance of what they were doing they would have to do.

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It's not what they would love to do. What they'd have to do.

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I also listen to language and I noticed that they would sometimes say,

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'I should do it.' 'I ought to do it.' 'I'm supposed to do it.' You hear people

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saying,

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'I really ought to do that.' 'I should do that.' 'I know I'm supposed to do

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this,

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but I don't seem to get around to doing it.' And that was a layer just above it,

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'got to' and 'have to' and 'must' is the lowest.

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That means you feel that your will and what's being imposed on you is in

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conflict. 'Should', 'ought to' and 'supposed to' is still a conflict

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but you feel like you 'should be' doing it, 'ought to' be doing that,

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'supposed to' be doing that,

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but you're not really doing it because it's not really meaningful to you.

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The next level I noticed it was 'need',

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'I need to do this' and that's a little bit more engaged,

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but not as engaged as you could be. The next one is 'I want to'.

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Now the 'want to' language was the transition between imperative language,

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something that's extrinsically forcing you to do something and where you're sort

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of joining in and 'Yeah, I know this is my duty,

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but I want to do it.' And then there was 'desire'

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and then there was 'choose to', and then there was 'love to'.

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And I noticed that when people were saying, 'I love it.

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This is what I love doing', they were fully engaged,

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they didn't have to be micromanaged, they didn't have to be pushed uphill.

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They didn't have to be externally motivated. They were intrinsically,

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you might say called spontaneously to act.

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And they were inspired by what they were doing.

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And they had the most flow and they felt that what they were doing,

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was something intrinsically inside them called to do.

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And they were living more by a design than at the bottom, 'got to', 'have to',

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'must' by duty.

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There's a term that you may want to write called ontology and deontology.

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Ontology you might describe as a

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state of being, an essence of being.

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And deontology is a state of becoming,

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or another way of saying is living by design or living by duty.

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And a great percentage of the population, the 99 percenters,

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are living by duty. And the one percenters are living by design.

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They're the ones that master plan.

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They're the ones that take command of their life.

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They're the ones that decide how they want to live.

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They're the ones that want to live by priority.

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Want to fill their day with things that are deeply meaningful and inspiring that

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they spontaneously love doing. And if you're not doing that,

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you're going to live by duty. Now,

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the majority of people on the planet, majority,

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live by duty and they fit in and conform to what is

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expected to them. The moral traditions, conventions, and belief systems.

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And they don't like rocking the boat because they don't want to fear rejection.

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They want to be kind of fit in instead of actually stand out. And of course,

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as a result of it, they become the 99 percenters part of the herd.

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You might say the sheep instead of the shepherd.

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It's the individual that's actually willing to go and pursue what's deeply

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meaningful that is an unborrowed visionary.

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They're not doing what they're told, they're doing what is inspiring to them.

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I'll use an example; Elon Musk, he wasn't doing what he was told. NASA said,

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you could never go and make private enterprise, it's a waste of time.

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You're going to cause damage. You're going to cause problems,

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but he didn't stop. And now he's one of the wealthiest individuals in the world,

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definitely in the 1% mark, he had the courage to stand

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out, not fit in.

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Now this correlates with what I've described before,

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if you've listened to me before about values.

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Every individual has a set of priorities,

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a set of values that they live their life by.

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Whenever they are living in alignment and congruent with what they value

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most, their language is; 'I love it. This is what I love doing.

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I'm inspired by it. It's what I've. This is my path,

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my mission, my métier, my purpose in life.

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And when people are living by lower values,

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they feel like they've got to do it because you require motivation,

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external motivation to do things low on your values.

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And you're inspired intrinsically to do things high on your values.

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So when people know what their values are,

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which is why I tell people to go to my website and please do the complimentary

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Value Determination process, Dr Demartini's Value Determination,

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determine your values on my website. Because when you find out what's really,

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really, truly valuable to you, what your life spontaneously demonstrates,

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not what you think it 'should be', 'ought to' be, 'supposed to' be, 'got to' be,

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'have to' be, what society is expecting, but what's really important to you,

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you automatically feel you're not fighting the universe.

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You're not a borrowed visionary, you're an unborrowed visionary.

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An unborrowed visionary is somebody who has a unique path.

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See each set of values that each of us have are unique.

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No two people have the same hierarchy of values,

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and the hierarchy of your values dictates how you perceive, decide,

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and act and therefore your destiny. But having the courage to

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walk the path of an unborrowed visionary, most people are afraid to do,

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because they're afraid of being, not fitting in.

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Ernest Becker in his Pulitzer prize winning book,

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'The Denial of Death' talked about heroism.

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He said that majority of people are frightened of death.

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And so in order to overcome that they create a kind of a path to

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immortality.

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One is the collective path that fits into everybody else and becomes part of a

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cause of the group. And the other is an individual heroes path,

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which is basically the path of the unborrowed visionary. That's the shepherd,

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they're the few in number, but great in consciousness.

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They're the ones that lead the way and set the stages and set the standards and

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the values and the rules, you might say.

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You'll find out that the way values are set up,

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whoever has the most power in the world sets up the values and they infiltrate

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down into society and whoever has the least power, they follow those values.

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So when they're having to follow those values and they don't see how they're

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actually fulfilling their own values, they feel like I 'got to' do it.

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And they're living by duty. When they're actually can see how,

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what they're doing is fulfilling their own values they feel inspired to do it.

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That's why I teach that no matter what happens in your life,

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no matter what you're doing, if you can't delegate it,

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link it to what you value most so you're not living by duty,

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you're living by design, you're seeing things on the way, not in the way.

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If you do, you move into the 1% instead of the 99%,

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99% of the people do not become the Nobel prize winners.

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They're not become the great Olympic medalists.

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They don't become the great you know,

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great minds and great business leaders and great financial leaders and great

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spiritual leaders and great family dynasty leaders and great social political

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leaders and great physical fitness and medalists, et cetera.

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Those are for the people that have the unborrowed vision.

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And that requires you identifying what is really,

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truly valuable to you.

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Please go online and do the Value Determination if you haven't,

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and do it again if you have. Update it, make sure it's accurate.

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Make sure you answer the questions. And when you're answering the questions,

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it asks you 13 questions,

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make sure you don't write down what you think the answers 'should' be,

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'supposed' to be, 'got to' be, 'have to' be,

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or you're back in the subordination and living by duty again,

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instead of design. Living by design, as I said,

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most people don't do it. Most people don't want to set goals,

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they don't want to set plans because they go, 'Well,

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they're not going to happen.' In fact, I heard people even say to me one time,

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'Well, if you want to make God laugh,

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just tell him your plans.' What kind of mentality is that? That's a guaranteed

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fantasy seeking individual that doesn't know how to set a real objective,

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that's deeply meaningful with a strategy that they can achieve.

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You don't make the Brooklyn bridge, you don't make a trip to Mars,

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you don't make those things without planning.

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And living by design is having foresight with planning instead of hindsight,

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reacting and being a victim of history. A master of destiny

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is one who basically follows what's really,

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truly inspiring them to them and do things that actually

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mean something to others.

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One of the most powerful things you could do is to find out what's really deeply

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meaningful to you, you can do something you love every day,

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but do it in a way that serves other people and helps them fulfill theirs.

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One of the signs that you're living by duty, not design,

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is you hear in your head constantly, 'I should be doing this',

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I ought to be doing this', 'I know I'm supposed to be doing this',

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'I know I want to work out, but I just don't get around to doing it,

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I should be,

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but I don't.' And anytime you're hearing 'should's' and 'ought to's',

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and 'supposed to', 'god to's', and a 'have to's', and 'must',

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and 'needs' inside yourself, and you're hearing it relative to you,

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'I should have done this',

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that means that your thinking you've made a mistake trying to live by other

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people's values. And any time you try to live in other people's values,

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it's not sustainable. And it's self depreciable.

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You can also hear yourself saying it to other people when you're self-righteous,

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looking down on people, 'you should do this', 'you ought to be doing this',

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'you're supposed to do this'.

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And anytime you subordinate to some outer authority and put them on a pedestal

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and minimize yourself and think you're too humble to admit what you see in them

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inside you and don't stand on their shoulders, but live in their shadows,

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you're going to not only say 'I should',

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but you're going to project that onto others.

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It's like a religious fundamentalist following some

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out there in the world about theology that goes around and says,

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'I should be doing this.

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I want to be a morally sound individual of one sidedness',

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and then they end up projecting those same 'should's' and stuff onto others.

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So they're living in 'should's' and then projecting 'should's' onto other people

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and trying to create a herd of people that live according to what make them feel

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proud. And this is a total disempowered state. They don't realize it.

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It's a subordination to a collective authority based on something that's

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irrational that has no meaning,

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except what people have made in some conventional tradition for domination,

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if you will. And people that are disempowered fall into that.

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Cause if you're being dominated because you're not taking command of yourself.

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Every symptom of your life is basically giving a feedback system to guide you to

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be authentic. It's guiding you to live in an empowered state.

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An authentic state is not looking down on people and exaggerating yourself.

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That's a pride. That's not, you. That's a puffed up you.

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It's not minimizing yourself and looking up to people. That's a shamed you,

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that's a minimized you. When you're really you,

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you look across and you realize that whatever you see in them, you have in you,

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you pluck the mode out of your own eye before you pluck it out of somebody

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else's. And then you realize, 'I'm a reflection of them, I can love them,

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I can love me,

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I don't need to live in their shadows or trying to get them to live in my

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shadows.' And then you're set free.

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Now you're doing something when you're in a state of equanimity within yourself,

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and you have a state of equity between you and others.

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And you're now respectfully communicating what you would love to do in a way

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that serves other people so you can be remunerated with a fair transaction

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that's sustainable,

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that allows you to have a fulfillment and money to be able to

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delegate lower priority things, so you're not trapped in duty,

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you're inspired by design. That's what I want for you.

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I want you to realize that identifying what your values are really,

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truly doing it and being clear about it of what your life demonstrates.

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You know my life demonstrates teaching and research.

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I do it every day spontaneous, been doing it for 48 years,

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I don't need to be reminded to do.

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Look carefully what you don't need to be reminded to do that you spontaneously

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are inspired to do that you just do.

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And that tells you where you're living by design. But the thing is,

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is when you go, 'Well, I would love to do that,

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but...' That means you now got all the external pressures about how you 'should'

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be, the fear of not being smart enough, the fear of failure,

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the fear of loss of money or not making money,

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the fear of a loss of loved ones or the respect of loved ones,

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the fear of rejection, the fear of ill health, death, or disease,

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the fear of somehow breaking the morals and ethics of some spiritual authority

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you've subordinated to, all of these phobias,

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which are based on the fantasies you're going to live in somebody else's values

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are the things that make you feel uncomfortable standing out.

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And as long as you do,

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that's why in the Breakthrough Experience when I teach the Breakthrough

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Experience, I show people how to dissolve those phobias.

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I show them how to dissolve those infatuation with the people that they're

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subordinating to.

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I show them how to listen carefully to what those imperative languages are,

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'should', 'ought to', 'supposed to', 'got to', 'have to', 'must',

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'need' et cetera, and to listen and identify where that's coming from.

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Because if you said, 'I should do that',

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that's coming from a specific authority that somebody in your life you've run

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into that you now think they have more knowledge or more intelligence or more

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success than you. And as long as you're comparing yourself to them,

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you're going to subordinate to them and you're going to be living in 'should's'.

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And you're going to live by duty, not design.

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That's why I want people to follow the Demartini Method and to neutralize

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the judgments they have on other people,

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to the set them free from living by 'have to's', 'got to's',

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and be able to live by love to's, what they would love to do. You know,

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I love researching and teaching. I do it every single day.

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I do podcasts every day. I'm writing every day.

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I don't have to be reminded to do it. I love doing that.

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The thing is is if you design your life around what you love and prioritize it

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and figure out a way of doing it, where it is compensated financially,

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wow. I remember when I, many years ago I asked myself;

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what is it I would absolutely love to do and how do I get beautifully and

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handsomely paid to do it? And that was a door opener. And then I asked,

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what are the highest priority actions I can do today to make that happen?

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This is what I teach in the Breakthrough Experience. And then how do I do it,

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what obstacles might I run into and how do I solve them in advance?

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And what worked and what didn't work today?

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How do I do it more effectively and efficiently tomorrow?

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And how did no matter what happened today,

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how's it helping me get my highest values,

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my mission accomplished? I'm a man on a mission,

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so how is whatever's happening helping me get that? If you can do that,

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you can live by design and you can be the shepherd, not the sheep.

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And you can be an unborrowed visionary, not a borrowed visionary,

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and those with a vision flourish and those without a vision perish,

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those that are borrowing visions aren't with their own inner vision.

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And their own inner vision is an expression of their forebrain,

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their medial frontal prefrontal cortex,

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the executive center where inspired vision is birthed.

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And when you do,

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you're inspired to get up in the morning and go do something that makes a

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difference in people's lives that you can't wait to do.

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And you can't wait to do it, people can't wait to get around it.

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And they're drawn and magnetized because of your inspiration and your enthusiasm

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and the love for what you do and the gratitude for getting to do it.

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And that is a magnet and draws opportunity to you.

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And the reason why people are drawn to you is because they innately know inside

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that they yearn to want to be in that state.

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So the authentic life and fair exchange, doing something inspiring,

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that makes a difference as a shepherd, that's what's inside.

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That's why everybody, when I ask them, I've been in prisons,

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I've been in all kinds of places speaking,

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and no matter who I'm in front of and I ask them;

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how many want to make a difference? Every hand goes up.

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And you can't make a difference fitting in. You fit in,

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you're not making a difference. You make a difference standing out.

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You make a difference by living authentically,

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congruently by what you value most. And living by design.

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That's one of the reasons I have Master Planning for Life programs every year,

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that's the reason why I have the Breakthrough Experience every year.

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All my programs are designed specifically to help liberate people from living by

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duty and living into the sheep mentality.

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You know many people believe things and don't even know where they got it.

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It's like the old story of a lady that had a kitchen,

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and when she was cooking a Turkey or whatever, she cut off part of the Turkey,

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and because she did it because her mother did it.

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And then her mother did it because her grandmother did it.

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So one day she asked her grandmother, 'Why are you doing that?' She said, 'Well,

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because I had a small oven.' And the people were doing it afterwards

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not because they had a small oven, they had a plenty sized oven,

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but they were cutting it off because they were doing what they were told to do.

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And that's what sheep are,

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they basically are parroting other people without even knowing,

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without even having a foundation of why they're doing what they're doing,

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they're following irrational belief systems.

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And as Dirac Nobel prize winner said, it's not that we don't know so much,

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we know so much that it isn't so. There's misinformation more than information.

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Right now it's pretty obvious, particularly in America right now, it's

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mass misinformation times going on in politics.

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And it's so obvious and the sheep are following it.

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And then they go through and cause all kinds of stir from that.

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And that's because of taking a side and polarizing.

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When you're living by your highest value, you're in your executive center,

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you're more objective, you use reason,

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and you end up following your heart and you end up being inspired and you do

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something that's grounded in reality. And you do something that leaves a mark,

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your objective. But if not,

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you're back in your amygdala where you're highly polarized,

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you're very subjectively biased, you're very prejudice,

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you're polarizing to one side or the other,

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you're striving for that which is not obtainable,

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you're trying to avoid that which is unavoidable,

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you're having futility instead of utility,

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and you're frustrated because you're fighting and you're trying to get other

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people to live in your values, which is futile,

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and you're trying to get you to live in other people's values, which is futile.

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And you're saying to yourself, 'I should',

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and you're projecting your 'should's' onto other people.

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And none of that's going to work.

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You're going to just get nothing but resistance from the universe because the

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universe loves you enough, I'll use that as a metaphor, an analogy,

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it loves you enough to kick your butt when you're not living in an inspired,

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designed way.

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Cause any area of your life you don't empower somebody else is going to

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overpower. So if you don't take command,

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that's why I do the Master Planning program,

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if you don't take command of your life and structure it how you want to do it

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based on what your life demonstrates is really valuable to you,

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you got no one to blame. You know, as Epictetus said, people on the journey,

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they want to blame other people initially, then they blame themselves,

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and then they finally realize when there's self actualizes, Maslow would say,

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there's nothing to blame, but something to look at,

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something to look deeply inside and introspect on,

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and finally have interoception and finally get the feedback of our physiology to

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try to say, 'Hey, this is what I really would love to do.'

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And the moment you do, you get tears of gratitude, inspiration, enthusiasm,

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vitality, you start empowering your areas of your life.

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That's one of the reasons, as I said,

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I do the Breakthrough Experience and the Master Planning and all the programs I

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do, every one of the programs I do are designed to do that,

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to help people self-actualize their life. You know,

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Maslow talked about it and his predecessors talked about it,

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and the real reality is that we can do it.

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And there's absolutely nothing stopping us from doing it except our lack of

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information, misinformation, or unwillingness to be congruent.

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So I just wanted to take the time today to share how important it is to

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ask yourself quality questions, to determine what's really, really, really,

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really intrinsically yearning to express itself. You know,

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you either shine and expand or you shrink, and you end up at the shrink.

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AndI'm not a promoter of the shrinks,

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because I think the shrink shrink people even more,

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they put you into a victim mentality. Many of them. Not all of them,

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but many of them.

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And they get you stuck and they want to blame things on the outside.

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You're not going to empower your life, blaming things on the outside.

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It's all about your perceptions of it, your decisions and actions,

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which you always have control over. And when people live by design,

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they take command of those. When they live by duty, they just follow the sheep.

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And when people say, 'well, that's a bad thing', well, then they go, 'well,

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it must be a bad thing', without even questioning, 'Is it even real?

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And most people live in moral hypocrisies. They're living by an idealism,

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they go around and we say, 'Well, I'm not perfect.

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Nobody's perfect.' And they're expecting a one-sided perfection,

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kind without cruel, nice without mean, positive without negative.

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The perfection you have is a balance of opposites. The yin and the yang,

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the complementation of opposites, just like in your DNA,

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the two strands of complimentary opposites to make a hydrogen bonding,

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to hold the DNA together. You must have both sides in order to master your life,

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and an individual that's living by design embraces and uses both sides

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of their own nature to fulfill and find meaning,

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the mean between those two sides and goes the path of meaning.

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The thing that distinguishes us from the animals is our path of meaning,

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our hedonistic pursuit of pleasure and debauchery is not the path of meaning,

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the path of meaning is doing something in fair exchange and transactions that

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remunerate you for doing something that contributes to other people that gives

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you the freedom to do something that you love doing in life.

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So I'm a firm believer in prioritizing your life.

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If you're not filling your day with high priority actions that inspire you,

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your day is going to fill up with low priority distractions that don't.

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If you don't fill your day with challenges that inspire you,

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it's going to fill up with challenges that don't.

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So if you want to be the shepherd and not the sheep,

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it's you taking command by first defining what it is that's really valuable to

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you, intrinsically,

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and structuring your life accordingly and not giving your power away by

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subordinating to others or giving your power away trying to get other people to

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live in yours. None of those are going to last.

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They create a rocky road and that's when you automatically are trapped.

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So instead of sitting, living by the herd and being part of the many,

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give yourself permission to stand out.

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That's the path of the unborrowed visionary.

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Ayn Rand said it in 'The Fountainhead', and I think that's,

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in 'Atlas Shrugged' they're both mentioned,

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and I think that that's a very smart pathway to take. Now, the question is, is,

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do you have the courage to be yourself? It's easy to walk on coals,

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do bungee jumps,

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do rope climbing and all kinds of little gimmicks that people come along with

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that are metaphors, but the real courage is, which means to live in your heart.

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Corage means come from the cora, which means heart.

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If you're willing to live in your heart and follow what inspires you and open

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your heart on a daily basis, you have the courage to be your authentic self,

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there's your unborrowed visionary. So that's what my message is today.

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I hope that was a kindling in a sense to your fire.

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So you can actually get in on fire with enthusiasm and inspiration to start

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prioritizing your life.

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Please take advantage of the Value Determination process online.

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When you get a chance,

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come to Master Planning and come and take care of organizing and structuring

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your life, so you can actually take command and live by design, not duty.

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And learn the method on how not to subordinate or superordinate to people,

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but to how to live by ordination, and be an ordinate individual,

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one who lives by an order.

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Because if you don't take command of your life and don't self-govern as a

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leader, you're going to end up being governed by others as a follower.

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And I'm interested in helping you liberate yourself from the bondage of being a

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follower and being told what to do all your life. That's a slave, not a master.

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So if you're interested in mastering your life,

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please take advantage of what I'm sharing. And also as a little gift,

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I just want to give you one last little component here.

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I did a presentation in Johannesburg,

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a couple of years back called Awakening Your Astronomical Vision.

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This is a live presentation I did in a planetarium on how to transcend and

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to have that expanded vision. You know,

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if you want to make a difference in yourself,

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you need a vision as big as your family.

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You want to make a difference in your family and be a leader in your family,

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you need a vision as big as your community.

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If you want to be number one in your community,

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you need a vision as big as your city. You want to be number one in your city,

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you need a vision as big as your state. You want to be number one in the state,

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you need a vision as big as your nation.

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You want to be number one in the nation, you have a global vision,

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but if you want to make a global impact and today you totally can with the

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internet, If you want to make a global impact you need an astronomical vision.

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Well, this CD is a complimentary CD I want to give you to help you have an

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astronomical vision to look at the celestial world,

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looking down on the earth and looking, what do I want to do on planet earth,

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instead of being on the earth in the trial zone,

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where you're judging and caught in the sheep mentality,

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looking out at the heavens and feeling like the world on top of you.

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If you feel you want to be on top of the world instead of the world on top of

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you, take advantage of this little gift. It's normally a $50 value.

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I guarantee you're going to watch it more than once or listen to it more than

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once. It's inspiring.

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It was inspiring to the leaders that were at the planetarium that night.

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I know it'll be inspiring to you. I've had people giving me feedback on it.

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Please take advantage of that. And please soul search,

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really introspect,

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really go inside and listen to your physiology because

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you and trying to help you be authentic and empowered and inspired and live by

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design not duty. Anyway, that was my message today. May,

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you have a fantastic week. I look forward to seeing you next week, please,

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if you get a chance to let people know about this, if this is valuable to you,

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spread the word because if I share this message and they don't hear it,

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it's not going to serve me,

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it's not going to serve them and the people they could serve.

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So please pass on the torch.

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I look forward to seeing you please join me at the Breakthrough Experience,

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Master Planning or some of the programs I do.

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I want to help you do something extraordinary with your life.

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Thank you for joining me for this presentation today.

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If you found value out of the presentation,

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please go below and please share your comments.

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We certainly appreciate that feedback and be sure to subscribe,

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hit the notification icons.

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That way I can bring more content to you and share more to help you maximize

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your life. I look forward to our next presentation.

Chapters