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Hello, darling heart, and welcome to the drink less, live better podcast.

This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring.

I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back.

With my experience and training, I now help other women with their alcohol free or drink less adventures.

You can find out more about me and sign up to my 5 day drink less challenge at drink less, live better.com.

I'm here to tell you that you can relax, connect, and have fun without alcohol in your life.

Join me here each week to find out how.

This episode is called the Should Siren.

Over recent years I've become more and more aware of my internal dialogue.

I think I first really started to listen at the start of my drink less journey.

I realized I was having a conversation with myself.

I'm not going to drink during the week this week.

I probably deserve just one glass of wine.

Oh, that would be breaking my own rule.

Why can't I ever stick to what I promised myself?

And on and on the conversation went.

The very first step on the way to change was noticing.

It was bringing awareness to the ongoing internal chat, and once there was I was able to question it.

How kind and compassionate is that voice in my head?

Would I speak to a friend like that? Is that voice even correct?

Once I had a first level of awareness and was able to notice some patterns, two words that kept popping up over and over again were should and shouldn't. They featured so damn regularly. I shouldn't be drinking this.

I should be getting up early tomorrow.

I shouldn't go out on a Friday and a Saturday night.

I should spend some more time playing with my kids. Relentless. Relentless.

So here is one of the things I find tricky with the should and shouldn't words.

Whenever I use them, I know there is an implied negativity.

For example, I should start meditation, and I don't.

I shouldn't be eating this, and yet I am.

I should get that job done, but I don't know where to start.

I shouldn't feel like this, but I do. There's a further follow on too.

Because I'm not doing or being the thing or person I think I should or shouldn't be, it means I'm not doing or being the best version of myself. Perhaps I'm lazy. Perhaps I'm not motivated enough.

Perhaps I'm not even functioning like a proper human being.

So I've identified the should alarm or the should siren.

Whenever I hear it in my head, I pause to question it. What's a better way?

Well, here are a couple of reframes.

I should get up and do that fitness class this morning changes to I want to get up and do that class because here's the thing, that's shorthand.

I don't actually necessarily want to get up and do that class, but I do want the benefits.

Feeling strong, feeling accomplished, knowing I'm looking after myself physically.

I focus on how the activity fits with my values.

I should record my podcast this morning changes to, I get to record my podcast this morning. I do this every week.

I consistently provide this content for an ever growing group of clients and connections, and I love it.

I shouldn't feel like this becomes I'm noticing how I feel right now. I'm a bit uncomfortable.

I'm not sure if I want to journal about it, talk about it, or ignore it at the moment.

It's confusing, and I'm wondering why it's like this, and perhaps I will feel a bit better later.

So shall we try and become a bit more conscious of the words should and shouldn't?

Let's allow ourselves time, practice, and patience to do so.

Let's work on a more helpful internal dialogue and hope it leads to a kinder relationship with ourselves.

Having the words should siren in my mind is really helpful. I hope it helps you too.

Thank you so much for listening in today. I hope I've helped you.

Don't forget to follow or subscribe and download this podcast.

Thank you, and PS, I believe in you.